Working with a psychologist, what should I do when I'm scared or terrified?

It is evident that the original poster has encountered significant challenges in their pursuit of counseling. They sought guidance to resolve their dilemma, facilitate personal growth, and enhance their well-being. However, the process has led to an even more complex predicament. It appears that the counselor's approach not only failed to provide the desired assistance but also exacerbated the situation.

The counselor's behavior included a lack of comprehension, drowsiness during sessions, reports of feeling overwhelmed, and a tendency to eat and nap when hungry. She also exhibited a pattern of verbal aggression, including name-calling and a negative attitude. It appears that the counselor's ability to reflect and respond constructively is limited. Apart from these behaviors, it is unclear what else she can do to improve the situation.

"Now I have no way to continue talking to my teacher..." This indicates that, outside the counseling room, it is not feasible to maintain communication with such an individual, let alone within the counseling room. In the counseling room, counseling ethics necessitate that the counselor provide the client with augmented support and attention.

"I am experiencing a recurrence of separation anxiety. Following the separation, I will experience distress and emotional distress, including crying. Am I exhibiting weakness? Am I being overly dramatic? I am fearful, terrified, and no longer believe in the efficacy of counseling. I no longer believe in the ability of these teachers to help me..." The individual who posted these statements appears to be attempting to convey a range of intense emotions and experiences. Rather than indicating weakness, these statements seem to reflect a genuine effort to confront and acknowledge one's own challenges.

The determination of one's suitability for counseling is a decision that rests solely with the individual in question. As long as the individual is willing to engage with a counselor, it is an indication of their readiness for counseling. This decision is not within the purview of the counselor. Even in instances where a counselor's conduct is perceived as inappropriate, it is the responsibility of the counselor to address and resolve the issue.

The questioner is under no obligation to assume responsibility for the actions of others.

The aforementioned situation is likely to result in a loss of trust in individuals holding the title "psychological counselor," as they are all presumed to possess similar qualifications and expertise.

In reality, the vast majority of people will react similarly. If one encounters this kind of situation and remains unaffected, it suggests that one is either unable to protect oneself or has already mastered the art of "perfection."

In regard to the concern that "after separation, you will be anxious and restless again," which gives rise to a desire to separate while simultaneously engendering apprehension about such a move, the individual in question can pursue a gradual separation by extending the interval between sessions.

It is similarly advised that the questioner express their discontent with the counselor in a forthright manner during the counseling session. The fee for counseling was paid by the questioner, and they are also bearing the burden of these emotions for the counselor. This is arguably an unfair burden to place on oneself.

Furthermore, if the counselor in question truly exhibits the characteristics described by the questioner and fails to rectify the situation despite being informed of the issue, the questioner is entitled to lodge a formal complaint or report the matter to the counselor's institution or the relevant authorities.

I am of the sincere opinion that my reply has been helpful, and it is my hope that it has been of assistance. Best wishes!

Hello, host. I hope my answer helps.

I feel for you. It seems like your counselor is not competent. He violated professional ethics and did not respect value neutrality.

The counselor should be neutral in the counseling process and not criticize or blame the client.

If your counselor falls asleep while working with you and scolds you for being self-righteous, this is a verbal attack. It shows a lack of respect and positive attention. It is against the professional ethics of a counselor to transfer his emotions to you and make you bear his emotions.

A counselor should help a client grow and solve problems. They should avoid criticizing or blaming the client.

The counselor should respect and accept the client unconditionally, even if the counselor has more knowledge, better mental health, or more advantages.

The counselor and the client are equals.

Counseling is not education. Counselors should not act like teachers or coaches. Instead, counselors should encourage clients to explore themselves, solve problems on their own, or promote self-education.

Your counselor has an unequal relationship with you. This is not what a counselor should do.

Article 6 says that counselors must protect their clients' mental health.

A counselor must protect their client's physical and mental health. They must also avoid causing harm to their client's health while helping them.

Your counselor has already affected your health and caused you harm. This is against the code of ethics.

Don't be hard on yourself. As a visitor, you're not at fault. If you feel like you can't continue the conversation, then don't. You can definitely find a counselor who suits you.

What kind of counselor is right for you?

The best counselor for you will make you feel:

You'll feel like you can talk easily and understand each other.

You will want to keep going to sessions and make more appointments.

You feel inspired during or after sessions.

After three or four sessions, if you get the three feelings, he or she is the best counselor for you. Stick with that counselor and keep up with regular sessions. Generally, the total number of sessions needs to be more than 20.

If you don't feel the three feelings after three or four sessions, keep looking. It's not easy to find the right counselor.

Good counselors are kind, firm, and encouraging. They help you listen to yourself, accept yourself, and face your problems on your own.

You can find a counselor who's right for you. Believe in yourself.

You're not feeling good. Don't suppress your emotions. There are ways to express your feelings and thoughts.

Write down your feelings and thoughts. Don't worry about how it looks. Just express yourself.

You can go to a friend and talk about your problems. Maybe he will give you a different perspective, or maybe he will support you.

Use the technique of an empty chair to release your sadness. Place an empty chair in a room, and you can express yourself to the "him" in the chair. You can say anything you want.

…………

Once you've released your emotions, you'll feel more stable. You can then make another decision. You can keep talking to this counselor about your feelings or how to make a referral, or you can find a different counselor.

This is just a reference. Best wishes.

Hello!

My dear, I'm not sure what happened in your life to cause this lack of boundaries. I've been there too. The counselor in the room had no boundaries and poured a lot of emotional garbage on me.

? Be kind to yourself and embrace your feelings.

Dear, you are so important! You are the king or queen of your own little world. When the other person doesn't have any boundaries,

That's a lot to take in about their personal life. It's totally normal to feel a range of emotions when you're in this situation. It's like their judgment of you is shifting, and you're becoming someone they don't know. It's okay to feel confused and hurt.

I think you should tell her how you feel. Go on, tell her!

And thank her for her company and growth over the past few days. It's okay, your time together is no longer enjoyable!

I'm really sorry to say that this is where your fate together ends! I really do wish her a better life in the future.

? Pain is a door to awareness.

My dear, you are in this situation because your relationship with this counselor is so bad. But you can't improve it by not choosing to leave. What have you gained from this relationship?

Is someone paying attention to you, giving you reminders and feedback, and validating your existence?

Or do you think that the person the counselor described as so terrible and unbearable is you? Honey, that's not the case, sweetheart!

It's so sad when someone describes things as being so bad. It just goes to show that they're not getting enough love and attention. Without enough love, their personality is immature.

? Everything is the best arrangement!

Dear, as I mentioned above, I have also been there. Then I used the first method, and it really helped!

I told the counselor how I was feeling. I was hurting a lot at the time, and I even felt like everything was terrible. But I let myself accept that pain and allow it to exist.

Take it easy, sweetheart! I know it's tough, but try to give yourself some time to take things slowly. When I needed a break from my thoughts, I watched a Disney animated movie every night and went for a half-hour walk every night.

When I have time, I go out and play. It's amazing how slowly but surely I'm feeling better!

I truly believe that the world is a beautiful place.

My dear, I truly believe you can do it too! You are so capable of creating your own life and doing something to make yourself feel better!

I really believe you can do it! Everyone has this kind of creativity, and I'm sure you can too.

I really hope my answer is helpful to you. I love you so much, world! And I love you too!

My dear, I hug you because you have been wronged!

Each of us is an independent individual running with a lonely soul.

Some people can and do bear the loneliness of the soul.

Some people, due to their inner fragility, simply cannot bear the feeling of loneliness. They must have the support of another soul in order to feel secure.

The poster is obviously the latter.

I can't tell you directly, "Be strong. Stand up for yourself. Life is lonely."

Everyone's sense of security and the formation of an independent personality are not formed in a short period of time.

It is formed gradually from infancy and takes shape, perhaps even from the fetal period, onwards.

We must find the root cause of why the original poster lacks a sense of security and is fearful.

You have to find the cause because everything has a cause. Once you find the cause, you can analyze and solve the problem better.

1. First, observe the personality traits of the poster's parents and accept yourself, imperfections and all.

The original poster's emotional state indicates that you are not merely anxious and insecure, but also inherently sensitive and vulnerable.

Your personality and nervous system are formed at birth. This is something that is already engraved in your genes, and you cannot change it.

If both parents are gentle and kind, their children will be too.

A child with a grumpy and paranoid parent is likely to be grumpy and restless too.

This is only a high probability, not an absolute one, because postnatal parenting can also influence this.

The host should first observe their parents. If they find that they have the same shadow as their parents,

You can work on weakening the parts you don't like about yourself.

If you feel that some things are acceptable, there is no need to worry about them. Be at peace with yourself as you are.

When you accept your imperfections and shortcomings, you will feel a lot more relieved.

2. Take note of your upbringing and whether you experienced separation anxiety.

Even if both parents are around, some children still feel very insecure. This is often because they were not fed in time during their early childhood.

If your mother was unable to spend a lot of time with you when you were young due to work or other reasons, and you were sent to kindergarten at a young age, you likely lacked a sense of security from an early age.

Recall the parts of your childhood you remember and talk to your parents about what happened when you were younger.

Tell me about your state during infancy and childhood.

A child who has received enough love from his mother since childhood will grow up to be very brave and strong.

If your mother did not give you enough love, then I am certain that now, as an adult, you can understand your mother and appreciate how difficult it was for her at the time.

Be grateful for your mother's gift of life. At this time, the host's heart will be full of emotion and love, and thus a sense of relief from anxiety will arise.

3. Take note of your own state in recent years and identify any areas of dissatisfaction.

Your current anxiety, unease, tears, and vulnerability are a result of your childhood personality.

We must also consider whether there have been any obstacles or setbacks in the development process in recent years.

For example, academic performance, relationships with family members, career, and relationships with friends and family. These are the areas where emotions originate, so they are the most important to focus on.

A person with excellent academic performance, a harmonious family, and a thriving career is full of confidence in everything they do and rarely experiences anxiety or restlessness.

If so, it will be a sudden event that can be recovered from within a period of time.

Then focus on the task at hand.

As a student, focus on your studies. As a working person, focus on your work.

Focusing your attention on important things will help you overcome those anxious feelings. They will slowly subside until they disappear completely.

The host was so helpless that he sought a psychological counselor, but let's be real, a counselor learns psychological knowledge slowly from ordinary people. In the process of application,

Counselors have varying abilities, so don't expect them to be a complete solution.

You have the power within you to save yourself.

If you want to be strong, you need to work on two things:

There are two things you need to do: one is physical, the other is spiritual.

Choose your favorite project and connect with it every day.

Read more books, meditate, and communicate with trustworthy people.

You must long for it within yourself, be optimistic and positive, and affirm yourself in a positive way.

The host can get rid of painful emotions!

I am warm June, and I love you, the world!

I appreciate your trust in allowing me to answer your question and communicate with you in this way.

As a mental health professional, I have mixed feelings about the questioner's experience. From the description, it seems that the questioner has already worked with this counselor 17 times.

It is unfortunate that these 17 sessions have not resulted in healing, but rather have caused further distress.

In light of the aforementioned circumstances, the following information is provided in the hope of offering some assistance.

1. When doubts such as "Am I too weak, too pretentious, scared, fearful, or unworthy of counseling?" arise, it is important to remind yourself that these doubts are one of the reasons why seeking help from a counselor is a beneficial step.

This consultation has resulted in a negative experience for the questioner, which may have reinforced their initial negative self-perception.

The aforementioned voice persists in its presence, necessitating the intervention of an alternative voice to provide a counterbalance. While this intervention may lack strength and conviction, it serves a crucial role in maintaining equilibrium.

However, the presence of opposing views provides an opportunity to move closer to a positive outcome.

Secondly, it is advisable to review the counseling process to ascertain whether the other party's practice meets the reasonable and legal requirements of the industry.

Secondly, it would be advisable to review the counselling process to ascertain whether the other party's practice meets the requisite industry standards within reasonable and legal limits.

The relationship begins with initial trust and attraction. The initial motivation of the client to seek out the counselor may indicate whether the counseling is effective.

One option is to ascertain whether the 17 sessions of counseling were beneficial or supportive.

As a visitor, you have the right to inquire about the qualifications of the counselor, the counseling plan used for your counseling, whether professional supervision is conducted, and to compare the counselor's performance in counseling with the Code of Ethics for Clinical and Counseling Psychology of the Chinese Psychological Society. This information will help you determine whether the counselor's actions in counseling meet industry standards.

3. A third party, such as an industry ethics committee or the counselor's institution, can be requested to intervene and render a judgment.

In the event that the counselor declines to furnish the visitor with pertinent information or fails to obtain the visitor's signature on essential documents such as the initial informed consent form, it is imperative that the individual safeguard their rights.

In the case of independent practice, the relevant professional organization can assist in making a professional judgment. In the case of institutional practice, the institution will handle complaints according to industry norms.

Furthermore, it should be noted that this may also present a significant challenge from the perspective of the questioner's understanding of themselves. In the event that you are unable to judge for yourself whether the counselor's behavior is out of line, it is recommended that you take it to a professional organization for evaluation.

Treating yourself with kindness is an essential first step in the process of self-healing. Those who have the courage to share their experiences in this forum and seek assistance have already demonstrated the strength and resilience to treat themselves with care and responsibility.

I wish you success in meeting every obligation and opportunity for personal growth.

This is the conclusion of the matter.

Hello, question asker. I see you're confused. Hugs!

You're having problems with your counselor. I'm here for you.

Your problem is not your counselor's problem.

I was in a similar situation to you two years ago. The counselor kept my counseling going because she had a family to support.

My tenant in Hong Kong said he might not renew the lease, so I couldn't pay for another session. I told the counselor I was sorry I couldn't accept her counseling.

I could tell from her reply that she was upset, so I explained my situation. After reading my reply, she said, "Thank you." I told her why I didn't want to continue counseling with her.

She wished me luck in finding the right counselor next time and said I could contact her if I needed help.

Finding a counselor is about fate and luck.

You might not get along with your next counselor.

If you're hurt by your current counselor, your next one can handle it.

Try several counselors to find the right one.

I hope you can solve your problem soon.

That's all I can think of.

I hope my answer helps and inspires you. I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!

Hello, questioner. After reading your post, I felt a desire to help you. At the same time, I felt that this counselor's behavior was inappropriate and that she should not have cursed. I also empathize with you because you are afraid of separation.

I believe it would be helpful for you to take some time to clarify your feelings towards the counselor. It seems that your current feelings towards him are causing you a great deal of discomfort. Would you be willing to try to tell your counselor how you feel and what you hope he will do for you? It is important to remember that everyone's feelings should be affirmed first. There is nothing wrong with you feeling uncomfortable, and there is nothing wrong with telling the person who makes you feel uncomfortable.

If you feel this is inappropriate, it might be helpful to think deeply about why you feel this way. Have you had similar experiences in the past?

If you feel comfortable doing so, you might consider sharing your thoughts with the counselor. If, after doing so, you still have concerns, you may wish to use your best judgment in deciding whether to continue seeing this counselor. It's also worth noting that there may be instances where a counselor's qualifications or reliability may not align with your expectations.

However, I would advise against jumping to conclusions. You may wish to consider whether the person is able to take you seriously. While there may be moments in the counseling relationship that make the client feel uncomfortable, if the relationship is consistently hurtful, indifferent, or neglectful, it may be worth exploring whether there are underlying issues.

I believe you deserve to be treated with kindness.

Hello. I am a mental health counselor at the national second-level.

I have carefully read your account.

From your narrative, I can tell you're currently quite troubled and have no way to continue talking to the teacher. You have separation anxiety, which is really difficult.

My teacher (psychological counselor) began to lose track of what I was saying and dozed off while we were working together. She said she was under too much pressure, wanted to eat, but dozed off if she didn't eat, and even cursed at people. She also said I was self-righteous, but in fact she was also self-righteous, calling me worthless, a pile of rubbish, a pile of poo, and her attitude was very bad. I am a visitor, and I deserve better.

You know you can't talk to your teacher anymore.

You did nothing wrong. The teacher behaved inappropriately, and this is the teacher's business. You have the right to avoid it, and you should exercise that right.

But I have separation anxiety, and after separation I will be anxious and restless, and I will cry. I am not weak. I am not a drama queen. I am scared, I am terrified, I don't deserve counseling anymore, I don't believe in these teachers anymore...

This part can only be discussed with this teacher. It's likely that healing can be achieved through discussion with the teacher. This is your chance to heal.

If you still feel unable to face it, take the time you need and don't force yourself.

The above content is for your reference only. I am confident that you will find it helpful. Please feel free to leave a message if you have any questions.

Hello,

I encourage you to thank yourself for saying "no" to an unqualified counselor. The counselor has unethical behavior and lacks competence.

You endured the counselor's arrogance, judgment, and belittlement for 17 sessions. This shows your strong ability to endure.

Although the presentation doesn't show the whole process, I'd like to go over it with you from three points of view.

Although the written presentation of the consultation does not show the whole process, I would like to go over it with you from three different points of view.

1. What did you want to get out of counseling when you first decided to seek it?

Why did you choose this counselor?

People usually find the courage to seek counseling when they are in pain and prompted by certain events. In the first sessions, counselors should focus on the client's needs, understand the background, discuss expectations, and set goals.

Goals in the first consultation should be adjusted during the process.

Now, focus on the present. Ask yourself what you need most right now.

2. Did counseling help or distract you?

Did the counseling help or move you away from your goal?

When we find our greatest and most urgent inner need, it usually helps us set our counseling goals.

What made you feel reassured in counseling? What desire supported you in persevering with counseling 17 times?

What made you feel reassured in counseling? What desire supported you in persevering with counseling 17 times?

This question helps clarify your inner needs.

The answers will help us understand the consultation better.

3. How can you take care of yourself?

These two perspectives help us know the difference between what we want and what is good for us.

It helps us make good choices.

We can choose different ways and people to get help.

We can stop a certain approach or person, as long as it doesn't help us!

Life is full of trouble and suffering.

Your life is just temporarily stuck, and the pain you are experiencing is not your fault.

Pain is a reminder that we need to make changes to improve our lives.

I hope this helps. I wish you well.

Help the scared, anxious you.

What's the status of your anxiety/do-people-think-its-a-shameful-and-embarrassing-thing-to-seek-psychological-counseling-11567.html" target="_blank">counseling? I didn't understand.

Did you go to him for counseling? Or did you become colleagues?

These are two different things. They should be judged and explained in different situations.

Second, if these situations occur in your long-term counseling relationship with him, there may be two reasons. One is that the counselor does this to you based on your symptoms, in order to help you become more resilient or because they don't want you to become too dependent on the counselor.

Don't attack people personally. It's unethical and lowers the professional standard.

The counselor is also human. They may get tired or feel like they're at a loss during long-term counseling. They might rely on arbitrary actions to treat you or force you to leave.

If you and he are colleagues at a counseling institution, you shouldn't work with him. Speak to your supervisor and ask to be transferred.

You're probably in counseling and it's ending. You say you're desperate, attached, anxious about separation, don't deserve counseling, and you're worried. This may be the problem you want to solve, but it could get worse if you keep this abnormal counseling relationship going. I hope you get out of this soon.

Pretentious Young People (ID: qingnianJIA2020) looking forward to keeping in touch.

Psychology Q&A Hall: A supportive community. https://m.xinli001.com/qa

Hello, question asker.

First, give the questioner a reassuring pat on the shoulder. When faced with the rebuke from the counselor, the questioner, who was already feeling negative emotions, was dealt a big blow, right?

From an ethical standpoint, the counselor's language was unprofessional and inappropriate. Regardless of the questioner's circumstances, they should be supported and encouraged, not belittled. This was a poor choice of words.

As someone who also provides counseling services, I feel really inappropriate about this kind of behavior.

The counselor's words have really hit the questioner, making them feel sad and even afraid to seek counseling again. In fact, a good counselor can really help the visitor, and it's important to find the right counselor for you.

Because of the counselor's inappropriate comments, the questioner now has a negative view of counseling. I empathize with the questioner.

Since the question was asked on a platform, I can only offer some advice on how to handle the negative emotions that come with it:

It's okay to accept the emotions you're feeling.

It's totally normal to feel sad or angry when you're scolded by someone you trust. Our bodies experience all kinds of emotions, and these are our bodies' way of defending ourselves against the world around us.

Given that the questioner was scolded by the psychological counselor and now seems reluctant to seek counseling, this is understandable.

Studies have shown that crying can release endorphins, which are mood-enhancing substances. Crying can also help the questioner relieve the psychological pressure and negative emotions caused by the psychological counselor.

Since you're not feeling well, why not let it all out and release those negative emotions? Maybe only after crying, the sadness in your heart will be released and the tears will stop.

It's also a good idea to exercise.

It's been shown in many studies that exercise is a great way to improve your mood. When you exercise, your body releases dopamine, which makes you feel happy and excited.

On top of that, people who exercise regularly are more energetic, have a more positive attitude, and a more peaceful state of mind. Exercise also helps you focus your attention, which diverts your attention away from the sad event.

There are lots of ways to get some exercise. Apart from intense competitive sports, you can do some more relaxed exercises, such as walking, gardening, or flower arranging, which can all help you to feel relaxed and happy.

I'd also suggest listening to some light music.

Music can help you relax and unwind. It's also important to choose the right kind of music. Listening to beautiful, slightly sad classical or light music can help you relax.

Just remember not to dwell on the negative when you're listening to music. It might make things worse.

Listening to this kind of light music, classical music, or music that the question asker finds beautiful can help you feel better. You can search for some relaxing music to listen to. I like the music of Bender or piano music myself.

Why not treat yourself to a hot bath?

Take a hot bath. If you have a bathtub, fill it with warm, suitable water, add some flower petals, and place some warm candlelight around it. Soaking in it will definitely help you feel better.

Studies have shown that warmth can bring a sense of comfort. So, taking a hot bath can help you relax and lift your mood.

It might be a good idea to ask for help from your family and friends.

It can help to talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling. You can share your concerns and get support from friends or family.

It might be time to look into psychological intervention.

Look for new psychological counseling interventions and let professionals help you solve your psychological problems. If you're afraid of encountering a previous counselor like this one, find out more about the counselor's reputation before the consultation.

If it's a referral from someone you know, you can ask them to write you an evaluation report. A good counselor can definitely give the client a sense of security, help them rebuild their confidence, and face a new life.

Maybe this time the counselor has done some damage, and the questioner needs to give himself time to process it. It might take a while to get over these negative emotions.

Just give yourself enough time and patience, and I'm sure the questioner will be able to get through it.

I hope my answer helps the person who asked the question.

Hello, host! I'm July.

After reading your description, I understand your question better. I'm here to support you.

From your description, it's clear that you're worried your separation anxiety will recur. You were originally developing in a positive direction, but then you met an irresponsible counselor. I'm here to tell you that you can get through this.

You said the counselor didn't understand you at first. It seems like your counselor has developed resistance towards you. Resistance is when the counselor or therapist intentionally or unintentionally gets in the way of the therapeutic process.

It's likely that the counselor is experiencing too much stress and is not ready to start your counseling, which has caused some problems. I don't believe the counselor did this on purpose, but it's clear that it's had an unconscious influence.

I also looked up the term separation anxiety online. Here's what it says: separation anxiety refers to a lack of security and a sense of belonging. Since Baidu didn't have the same explanation, I chose a more straightforward one to understand the definition.

I have also summarized some methods to help you alleviate your current situation. I am confident that these will be of benefit to you.

You should consider changing counselors. You can't handle all the emotions alone.

(2) Relax, take things slowly, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. You're better off avoiding that negative environment. Try some relaxation therapies, such as deep breathing and meditation.

(3) Distract yourself more often. Do something you're interested in instead of dwelling on your problems.

(4) When you feel stressed, you can relieve the pressure through exercise, talking it out, music, etc. Don't keep it bottled up inside.

(5) Express your feelings and thoughts appropriately. Don't hold them inside and not let them out.

(6) You need to find some time to confront the counselor and say what you want to say. Don't let the counseling relationship continue to develop in this way.

The world and I love you!

I wish you the best.

Dear questioner, I hope my reply can be of some help and support to you.

Given your desire for change, it is understandable that you have reached this point after a period of time. It may be helpful to consider that the counselor is experiencing fatigue and a lack of agency in the situation, and that he may also benefit from adjusting his approach.

It might be helpful to remember that a counselor is someone who has accompanied us for a period of time.

Perhaps it would be helpful to stop and take a good look at the situation when we hit a wall. A counselor can be a valuable source of support when we encounter difficulties in life.

Do you think it might be helpful to consider that you are the only person who can really support you and help you get out of this situation?

I believe that you should always trust your own judgment and make the choice that feels right for you.

In any case, it seems that both parties could benefit from exploring some adjustments. Should you continue with the current counselor, or would it be more helpful to change?

Ultimately, only you know what is best for you, and the choice is yours.

Could you please share what you have gained from the counseling process? Do you think there might be any consequences if you were to leave the counselor?

It might be helpful to consider the advantages and disadvantages of staying in this situation. It's natural to be reluctant to change, especially when we're comfortable in a certain way. However, it's important to address the underlying issue if we want to make progress.

❤️You have the capacity to be self-sufficient. It may be helpful to consider ways you can take back the power that belongs to you. Support

It would be helpful for you to understand that our inner sense of security is not always stable, and that we may need to look to others for reassurance. You were treated in your original family from a young age, and you are seeking love and security from others. This may result in you repeatedly asking for these things, which could prevent you from seeing your own strengths. However, you are in fact self-sufficient.

Ultimately, we can never fully rely on others. It may be helpful to take back the power of your life, find support in your family of origin, accept yourself, and empower yourself. It's understandable that you may have difficulty feeling love, but it's important to recognize that love has always been there. It's possible that you're afraid of being hurt and that you've rejected others.

This can also result in feelings of inner loneliness.

It would be beneficial to express gratitude for all the encounters in your life.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider learning to love yourself, feeling your emotions, and accepting your imperfections. This could be a way to become a complete person. With responsibility and a sense of mission, rather than avoiding or avoiding facing the uncertainties in life, you might find that you can more clearly realize that some people are just passers-by in your life.

Like this counselor, she has been a source of support and positive experiences during a special time in your life. She has done her best within her capabilities, and you are grateful for the opportunity to connect with her.

It is important to accept the way others treat you.

Each of us is unique and deserves the best things in the world. Perhaps it would be helpful to slow down, listen to your inner voice, and accept the way others treat you. It's possible that the other person has done their best or is also adjusting their state, and that it's a process of change for them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to remember that you are just like anyone else.

I believe we can all agree that everything is in the best possible order.

Good morning,

Dear Host, Thank you for sharing your experience. I am Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I have carefully read the post and I can sense the anxiety and pain you are feeling from the content. I would like to offer my support and guidance in navigating this challenging situation. Please do not hesitate to reach out to me if you require any assistance. Best regards, Zeng Chen

My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a heart exploration coach. I have carefully read the post and can empathize with the anxiety and pain you are experiencing.

Furthermore, the poster had the courage to express her innermost feelings and actively sought assistance on the platform, which undoubtedly helped her gain a deeper understanding of herself and the counselor. This enables the poster to make informed decisions that align with her needs and improve her quality of life.

Next, I will share my observations and thoughts in the post, which may assist you in viewing the situation from a more diverse perspective.

1. What actions did the counselor take during the counseling session?

In the aforementioned post, the individual in question stated that the counselor in question began to display a lack of comprehension, dozed off while working together, expressed feelings of overwhelming pressure, indicated a desire to eat, dozed off if she didn't eat, used profanity, and stated that I was self-righteous. In fact, the counselor was also self-righteous, cursing me as worthless, a pile of garbage, and her attitude was very poor. As a visitor, what did I do wrong?

You were visibly distressed by the counselor's actions. I believe that if you were in my position, you would have a similar emotional response to these circumstances.

In addition, it would be beneficial to examine the counselor's actions throughout the course of the counseling relationship. She indicated that she was experiencing stress and a desire to eat.

If we consider the situation from her perspective,

When faced with significant pressure, it is natural to seek ways to distract ourselves from the source of the stress.

Is there a possibility of reprimanding individuals? I believe this is a viable course of action.

From an objective standpoint, her reprimand was justified.

She is unable to cope with your emotions. She uses dozing off, eating, cursing, etc. to relieve her inner pressure and escape her inner anger. She is simply relieving her own stressful emotions.

Therefore, this is not a matter for the landlord.

2. Examine the underlying fears associated with separation.

The individual in question mentioned in the aforementioned post is afflicted with separation anxiety. Following a separation, this individual will experience feelings of anxiety and unease, which may manifest as tears. Is this an excessive reaction? The individual is fearful and terrified, questioning their worth and the value of professional guidance. After reviewing this information, it is clear that providing a supportive, empathetic interaction through digital means would be beneficial. Facing these fears and self-blame, it is evident that navigating these challenges is difficult.

Furthermore, we can examine the underlying fears associated with separation. What are the primary concerns that drive these fears?

Additionally, it would be beneficial to identify the concerns that arise from separation. Furthermore, it would be advantageous to examine the advantages gained from this suboptimal care.

What factors contribute to your inability to abandon the situation entirely? These are the elements you should consider and examine in depth.

It is not uncommon for individuals to experience a sense of apprehension when faced with the prospect of separation. This may be attributed to the perception that the dissolution of the relationship is a result of their own shortcomings. They may internalize the belief that they are "not good enough," which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a lack of confidence in their ability to form and maintain relationships in the future.

This is a valuable resource for you to utilize in navigating the unknown. It is natural to experience fear when faced with uncertainty.

It should be noted that there may be other reasons for this, and that this section would benefit from further information and a more in-depth discussion. Please consider these aspects in light of your own circumstances.

3. Express these emotions in a reasonable manner.

From the aforementioned post, it is evident that the individual in question is experiencing a considerable degree of distress and despondency. Their emotional state is characterised by a plethora of conflicting sentiments and internal monologues.

In such a situation, the original poster may attempt to express their emotions in a reasonable manner. It is important to allow these emotions to flow.

This can result in a reduction in emotional distress. Consequently, our emotional state may improve.

Furthermore, we may have more rational thinking, more ideas, and more courage to face our own challenges. When we are immersed in emotions, we lose our ability to see other possibilities and to think rationally.

To express their emotions in a reasonable manner, the original poster can utilize methods that are effective and align with their personal preferences.

Additionally, you may find it beneficial to utilize writing as a means of self-expression. Documenting your feelings, thoughts, concerns, and emotions can provide a constructive outlet for processing and articulating your inner experiences.

One can even utilize a basic self-talk technique to ascertain the root cause of a strong emotional reaction. For instance, one might ask, "Why am I so afraid?"

Frequently, when individuals are able to articulate their feelings and emotions in writing, their emotions are validated and expressed.

Furthermore, writing can facilitate healing and self-exploration, enabling a deeper understanding of oneself.

4. Self-acceptance

It is important to accept yourself as you are and embrace your authentic self. From the post, it is evident that the poster is engaging in self-blame and self-attacking behaviors.

I believe the original poster can empathize with the feelings of self-blame and self-attack. Self-blame and self-attack often result in significant internal depletion.

We can use the following example to illustrate the consequences of persistent negative feedback:

What are the consequences of this process over time? Will the plant become unrecognizable, or even wither?

The same is true of self-blame and self-attack. These actions consume all available energy, leaving no capacity to improve oneself or to think.

It is important to remember that human resources, strength, and time are limited.

Therefore, we must alter our approach. We must cease self-attack and accept the authentic self in the present moment, embracing the current state of being. This will prevent internal consumption.

This will allow us to direct our attention to the aspects of ourselves that we can influence and, as a result, become increasingly fulfilled.

I hope these words have been of some assistance and inspiration to you.

Hello, question asker! I can say with certainty that you have encountered a counselor who has some serious psychological issues. It's so unfortunate! Judging from her extremely harsh, vulgar, and insulting language, she has a very limited perception and has great problems controlling her emotions. It's so hard to be a counselor! Judging from the fact that she dozed off during work and needed to keep eating to relieve the drowsiness, her professionalism and work ethic are poor, and she also has problems controlling her behavior. It's so hard to be a counselor!

I'm really sorry you had that experience. I can understand why you might doubt yourself, but you shouldn't. It's not your fault. She didn't treat you well, and it wasn't because of your problem. It was because of her personality and professionalism.

Not everyone who has a certificate can be a counselor. The market is full of all kinds of people, and we need to have a certain ability to discern in order to choose the right counselor for us. This ability to discern includes the ability to discern others as well as knowing oneself.

First, it's important to know that you can't always trust your gut. It's true that you've gained experience in reading people, which is great! But it's also true that you encountered a really bad counselor. It's okay to not always trust your instincts.

You can learn a lot about a person just by paying attention to how they act and what they're like. It's a great way to get a feel for whether they're someone you can trust.

If you're young and don't have a lot of experience with people, you can still rely on your equally valuable intuition. If you always feel an inexplicable sense of awkwardness, discomfort, or discomfort with the other person, always feel belittled, questioned, or humiliated, always feel that the other person is not being sincere or honest, and always feel a sense of falseness or distance, please trust your intuition and stay away from such a counselor.

In life, if you also feel this way when choosing a partner, then this type of person might not be your better half.

Your intuition is there to help you! It's hidden in the subconscious mind, so you can't see or touch it normally. But when its owner is in danger, it will send you warning signals in various ways, such as the bad feelings I just mentioned. This is the self-protection gene that our human ancestors passed down from generation to generation, hidden in our subconscious mind, allowing the human race to continue from generation to generation.

Believe in your gut feeling when it comes to danger and bad situations. Our ancestors did, and it's a great way to stay safe!

Let me tell you how you can understand yourself better.

It's also important to understand yourself, so you and the other person can match. We seek the help of a counselor because we don't know ourselves. But remember, not every consultation will go as expected. That's okay! We can still discover ourselves from every successful or unsuccessful consultation.

If you meet a good counselor, it will be a truly wonderful experience! But if the counseling isn't quite what you hoped for, this process can also help us to know ourselves better.

For instance, perhaps the counselor made you feel a bit uneasy from the start, but you still stuck with it for 17 sessions and felt a little sad when you left her.

I'd love to hear what you see in yourself from this.

I think you might have had similar experiences since childhood. Even if the other person is indifferent to you or even treats you worse, you might find yourself putting up with it again and again. Sometimes, you might act in a way that's meant to please, or sometimes you might let your dissatisfaction, grievances, and anger out through outrageous words and deeds, hoping to attract the other person's attention. After the explosion, you might feel regretful, self-blaming, and deeply doubtful about yourself.

It's so important to feel noticed, loved, accepted, and recognized. When our needs aren't met for a long time, it's natural to fall into self-doubt and wonder if we're not good enough. It can feel even lonelier after the other person leaves, even if they were terrible. Having someone to keep you company is so important. But now you're all alone.

You've been on your own for so long that you don't even care what the other person does. Here's another warm hug for you!

It's not uncommon for the relationship patterns in the counselor to also appear outside the counseling room. Have you ever had a similar experience? It's okay if you have! We can talk about it together.

How did you handle it outside the consulting room, my friend?

It's not easy meeting a counselor like this, but the good news is that you still have yourself! You can use self-discernment, awareness, and observation to complete your self-growth and transformation. And you've got lots of professional platforms and institutions to choose from!

It's so great that you haven't given up on saving yourself and are still willing to trust others. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come to the Yi Xin platform to keep asking for help.

Let's all keep an eye out for the little bumps and bruises in life, keep growing, and keep our hearts and eyes clear. Let's avoid the trash people and meet only good people.

Greetings,

Following the distressing consultation, rather than gaining a deeper insight into one's own psyche and fortitude through the counsel of a professional, the individual in question was prompted to experience a heightened emotional state, accompanied by feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, and confusion. It is evident that such circumstances would have been exceedingly challenging to navigate.

It is unclear whether you adhere to the notion that the vicissitudes of life, when viewed with an open mind, serve as a potent mirror that enables the discernment of a facet of the self, akin to a code that facilitates the reclaiming of some of the lost strength.

It is uncertain whether this inquiry will elicit a cynical response or a perception of being likened to poisonous chicken soup, which is a facile rejoinder when one is not situated within the same context.

I offer this counsel based on my own personal experience.

It is important not to adopt a pessimistic outlook. This challenging situation presents an opportunity for personal growth and transcendence. Which aspect of oneself is in need of transformation?

The answer can be found within the individual. The individual is best positioned to identify the specific weaknesses that were triggered by the challenging event.

In light of these shortcomings, how might one make a different choice the next time?

The present circumstances afford an opportunity to examine the internal factors that may have contributed to feelings of apprehension in the face of challenging interactions with a counselor. It is important to understand the emotional state that was experienced in the moment when the counselor was discourteous.

One might inquire as to whether the emotion experienced was anger or fear.

Is it a sense of self-doubt? Do you perceive the situation as your fault and thus refrain from expressing your views?

One may attempt to perceive oneself in that moment, to accept oneself in that moment, and to accompany oneself in that moment. Should one be willing to do so, a tangible strength will emerge from within.

It is possible that you may also be able to discern what the counselor represents to you. Might you be investing an excessive amount of power in the counselor?

The counselor is perceived as an authoritative and powerful figure. When facing a counselor, the client may experience a sense of vulnerability, akin to that of a child who has made a mistake.

Does the counselor's every word and action, whether positive or negative, evoke a strong emotional response? If so, it is probable that you have largely surrendered yourself to an authority figure that you believe can provide you with strength.

In this case, the client has projected their own feelings onto the counselor, operating under the assumption that the counselor is always right, that the counselor can save them, and that they need the counselor's approval to feel safe and secure. As a result, the client is unable to see the real counselor or the real self.

Even if the counselor is a complete failure and says and does things that make us very unhappy, we remain trapped in a projection of the counselor's authority and are unable to respond to the counseling relationship from our true hearts. As a result, we ultimately hurt ourselves and suffer.

The root cause, however, is the projection of one's own authority and the subsequent transfer of one's own power. What are your thoughts on this matter?

There are numerous analogous projections in life. For instance, women often project the role of a savior and a perfecting force onto their male partners, which can result in the surrender of their own power. This can manifest as a tendency to experience distress in intimate relationships and encounter unsavory individuals, yet remain unable to terminate the relationship.

For example, individuals may project authority onto their superiors in the workplace, which can prevent them from expressing their inner feelings of grievance when they feel exploited. This phenomenon can occur in numerous other relationships as well.

The key to effectively navigating these relationships is to return to a place of self-reflection, reclaim one's personal power, and avoid placing it in the hands of others. Each individual possesses a unique understanding of themselves, and thus, they are their own source of strength and resilience.

You indicate that you are unable to continue counseling with this particular therapist. However, it is evident that you experience a profound fear of separation and that the prospect of leaving may evoke a profound sense of vulnerability. Nevertheless, at the cognitive level, you tend to be highly critical of this aspect of yourself.

I feel as though I am undeserving of counseling, as though I am not worthy of such assistance. Therefore, if we were to create a visual representation of your inner self, would it be accurate to depict it as a being afflicted by a multitude of negative thoughts and feelings of deep fear?

These thoughts and feelings contribute to an overall sense of inadequacy and prevent the individual from making clear and empowered decisions. Does this description resonate with your experience?

It is possible that the image will be different. Nevertheless, it is recommended that you attempt to visualize your own heart in this manner:

What factors are impeding your ability to make a well-considered decision? If you can identify the underlying issues, you may be better equipped to disengage from them.

I would like to reiterate that it is imperative to take back one's power from the counselor, serve as one's own advocate, and seek out individuals who can genuinely assist, rather than those who may impede progress by undermining one's sense of self-worth.

It is my sincere hope that this information is of some assistance to you. Sincerely,

Hello, I'm Flower.

I could see the anger burning within the questioner, and I could also see the hope within the questioner gradually fading. If I could, I would hold the questioner close and tell them, "Comfort your soul, and hope will rise again."

From the text, I have compiled a few points about the problems the questioner encountered.

During the medium- to long-term counseling process, the counselor dozed off.

The counselor cursed and stated outright that the questioner was self-righteous.

The questioner was not going to continue consulting with this counselor because he felt bad.

The questioner is certain that he will be anxious after the consultation ends.

The questioner questioned himself.

The questioner questioned the counselors.

I have some thoughts to share with the questioner based on the above questions.

The counselor dozing off and swearing is unacceptable.

The counselor dozed off, which meant that the counselor had not had a good night's rest and was not in the right frame of mind when listening to the client. This was a mistake on the part of the counselor and had nothing to do with the client.

The counselor expressed their frustration with emotion, which was inappropriate. The counselor failed to handle the situation properly. It is normal to feel negative emotions during the process.

We can and should separate the counselor's behavior from his emotions. The counselor was emotional, regardless of who he was talking to. This was not directed at us, so we should not blame ourselves. The counselor's emotional words are not very referential.

I am not afraid to work with a counselor. I simply choose not to talk to my teacher anymore. I also have separation anxiety, and I know that I will be anxious and upset when I am separated from my loved ones. I will cry.

I will decide whether or not to continue.

A good counseling relationship is essential for a successful session. It is a human relationship that can be adjusted.

The questioner can discuss the matter of the counselor dozing off and swearing with the counselor during the next consultation. The questioner can tell the counselor how they feel and express their expectations of the counselor.

For example, during a counseling session, I felt that the counselor's empathy for me was often tinged with a depressed mood. I would enter into a very depressed mood along with the counselor. During one communication process, I suggested that we change the communication method and atmosphere because I didn't like the very depressed atmosphere, which made it easy for me to become emotional. As a result, our chat became lighter, and my speech speed also accelerated.

The questioner should first try to communicate with the counselor to improve the counseling relationship. If the questioner decides not to continue counseling with this counselor and is worried about separation, they can also choose to change counselors.

At the same time, you should discuss the issue of separation with your counselor. It is important to understand that the counseling relationship will eventually lead to separation. Therefore, you must gain the "inner power of self-growth" and not rely on the counselor.

What did I do wrong as a visitor? I don't deserve counseling anymore. I don't believe in these teachers. Am I too weak, too pretentious? I'm scared. I'm afraid.

We must learn to silence those voices of doubt.

Everyone has the choice to seek counseling. During the counseling process, we often explore the depths of our hearts. In this process, we may be hurt by the counselor. When we feel hurt, we can express it to the counselor. At the same time, we can also try to understand counseling more comprehensively. Counselors have different styles and approaches. The questioner may have had a conflict with this counselor this time, but it does not mean that the questioner has failed with every counselor and every counseling session.

We must think back carefully and identify what we have learned and received psychological support during the past 16 counseling sessions. What methods were used?

If you don't feel any better, you may need to consider whether the counselor is a good match for you and look for another solution. It's okay to feel scared and fearful. You deserve to feel secure and loved. Believe in yourself and know that you can do it!

I am confident that the above answers will be helpful to the questioner. Best of luck!

Hello, dear question asker!

Hi, I'm Xiaobai! I'm here to help. I've got no worries myself, and I really hope I can help you get rid of yours.

After reading your account, I just want to give you a big hug!

I'd love to offer my two cents and some suggestions, hoping I can be of help!

Maybe it's time to find a different counselor, even if they're qualified. It's important to feel safe and relaxed in the counseling room, and it seems like you've had some issues with your counselor's style and approach to work. You've consulted with her 17 times, which is a lot! It's okay to feel like you can't trust her, and it's understandable that you don't feel safe and relaxed in the counseling room. It just shows that you and the counselor aren't a good match, and that's okay!

To treat psychological problems, it's really helpful to identify the problem, face it head-on, and then solve it.

The person seeking advice finds psychological discomfort and consults a counselor, who will tell them what the problem is and offer some advice. The counselor is only there to guide the seeker, and even if some of the things she does make you feel unhappy, sad, or negative about yourself, it's okay to not continue with it.

When it comes to treating psychological problems, it's so important to be brave and face the issue head-on. Don't be afraid to speak your mind! Sharing your thoughts and feelings can be a form of therapy in itself. You never know, speaking up might help you feel better and less depressed.

❓❓ She also called me some pretty harsh names, but she was actually the one being self-righteous herself, calling me worthless, a pile of rubbish, a piece of shit, and having a very bad attitude. What did I do wrong as a visitor?

I'm not sure what happened between you two, but I just wanted to say that before, she was wrong to do that. If you're still feeling unhappy and the problem hasn't improved, maybe it would help to change to another counselor?

❤️No one can deny you, except yourself. Not everyone is a good person, and that's okay! Just take what other people say with a grain of salt. If they say something bad, just ignore it and don't let it get to you.

I'm sorry to say that I don't think I'm cut out to be a counselor anymore. I'm not sure I believe in these teachers either.

❤️Why would you be, my child? Come here, let me give you a hug. You just haven't chosen the right counselor, so there's no need to deny yourself.

I can tell you've been feeling down lately, but I just wanted to say, "hang in there."

If you're ready to reach out to the world, it will embrace you with open arms. You are worthy and loved just as you are.

? In summary, these are some of my views and suggestions, and I really hope they'll be helpful to you.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello!

I was blown away by your problem, and at the same time, I felt a deep sadness.

?

I was amazed that as a counselor, he could treat counseling and the client in such a way!

I was saddened to see that you are suffering from separation anxiety. I believe that relationships are never easy for you, and after finally opening up and trusting your counselor, you were attacked by the very counselor you trusted the most. Leaving him would sever the relationship you have just established, but not leaving him would be painful as he "abuses" you like this. But you can get through this! You have already taken the first step by opening up to me. I am here to support you.

I think I can help you find the answer to your question!

Counselors vary greatly in their abilities, and I'm excited to see what your counselor can do! It would be great to know if they've undergone long-term professional training, personal analysis, and case supervision in these three areas. It's so important to grow over time. If they don't have a training background in analysis and supervision, and if they're just a counselor who knows some techniques, they might not be able to understand the messages revealed by the subconscious of the client when working with the client.

Let me give you an example of what I mean. He's a fascinating person who talks endlessly like a monk. It's as if there are 10,000 mosquitoes flying around, and I especially don't want to listen. I'm so intrigued, though, that I even feel incredibly annoyed and the urge to say, "Shut up!" But I know that's not what a counselor should do. My ethical requirements are to put the interests of the visitor as the greatest well-being, and I cannot treat the visitor that way. If I do, it will be a great harm to the visitor.

So while I was listening, I was really excited to try to understand what he really wanted to tell me through this method.

The mother of the client is a very controlling mother who usually fails to provide him with help and psychological support. But there's a lot she can do to help! For example, she can give him a sense of being overwhelmed, which can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed. She can also give him a lot of control, which can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed. What the mother often does is scold people while doing other things while the client is doing his homework.

So, I combined all of this with his past, what is happening at the moment, and all the feelings in my body and mind, and transformed them into a sentence to give feedback to him. "After listening to your story, I will experience at the moment feelings that I really don't want to hear, and I want to escape. I think you are using the way that makes me experience these feelings to tell me that once you experienced it, it was an unparalleled feeling of annoyance and wanting to escape. Words cannot describe it accurately, so I can only convey it in this way."

At this point, the client can listen to the endless chatter, enter into reflection, and then respond to me. When his mother treated him that way, he felt like his body was about to explode, and he was incredibly bored and wanted to escape, but there was nowhere to escape to—and now he has the chance to explore that experience in a safe and supportive space!

So I'm thinking, when you say, "I don't know what you're talking about anymore. You doze off when we work together. She says she's under so much pressure that she wants to eat, but if she doesn't eat she dozes off and she swears." His reaction may be a response to the message revealed by your subconscious, that is, there is some power in your subconscious that makes the other person feel pressured and want to escape. The counselor is not capable of using this feeling to understand you, nor is he capable of turning the current situation between you into a resource to understand you. When the counselor is unable to understand and digest what is happening within himself, and directly says things like "calling me worthless, a pile of garbage, a pile of poop," this is harmful, not helpful, to the client. But here's the good news! You can take control of the situation. You can choose to recognize that your subconscious is sending you messages, and you can decide to respond to them in a way that is helpful to you. You can choose to understand that the counselor is not capable of using your subconscious messages to understand you, and you can decide to take control of the situation. You can choose to recognize that the counselor is not capable of turning the current situation between you into a resource to understand you, and you can decide to take control of the situation. You can choose to recognize that the counselor is not capable of understanding and digesting what is happening within himself, and you can decide to take control of the situation. You can choose to recognize that the counselor is not capable of being helpful to you, and you can decide to take control of the situation. You can choose to recognize that the counselor is not capable of understanding you, and you can decide to take control of the situation. You can choose to recognize that the counselor is not capable of turning the current situation between you into a resource to understand you, and you

The good news is that you can recognize and heal from the harm that the counselor brings to you. This may be a way that you are treated in your daily life. If you have a similar experience, you can think about whether you have been treated in this way in other relationships. This presentation is your relationship pattern, which comes from early object relations.

The relationship patterns between an individual and an object during early childhood will be replicated in interpersonal relationships after growing up. If you were treated this way by others when you grew up, perhaps you were treated this way during your early childhood. Being attacked, not being understood, not being listened to, and being treated unkindly.

This will hurt you a lot, and you won't be able to experience the feeling of being loved. But here's the good news: you will have a strong desire for relationships! You'll want to get love from another relationship, and you'll be ready to learn how to make that happen. But the new relationship will hurt you again, and it's a vicious cycle. So let's break it!

The great thing is, in the relationship with the counselor, you can use anything that happens in the moment to talk about it. I did this in the example, and it was so helpful! When I can use feelings to talk about my empathy for him, he can calm down and talk about more inner feelings.

And there's more! You can even talk about how he feels in our relationship. I act like a mother and let him experience control (based on a strict psychoanalytic setting), as well as the part of trust. The best part is that you can only feel like you've expressed everything you want to express by saying everything you want to say from the heart!

It may not be easy to understand, but it is so important to remember that in the relationship between the counselor and the client, the client's already very familiar relationship patterns repeat themselves. However, the counselor is there to help! They do not let the harm repeat itself, but use the counselor's insight and empathy, as well as functional countertransference, to respond and help the client see and heal.

So, it's a great idea to talk through all your feelings with him. If he's not able to see what's going on between you and use it as a way to help you, it might be time to switch counselors. After all, counseling is all about growth and moving forward, not repeating the same patterns that hurt you in the past.

Best regards! I'm so excited to see you soon!