A regrettable past that's unbearable to look back on, dreaming of being formidable? Don't know where you're living?

I'm sorry for what happened to you. Being sexually assaulted can affect your mental health, but you didn't do anything wrong.

To heal, you need to accept yourself.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Get professional help. A counselor or psychologist can help you deal with past traumas and give you tools and techniques to use.

They will help you with low self-esteem, shame, and trauma.

2. Build your social skills: Join social activities or interest groups to connect with others. This will help you interact better with others and improve your relationships.

3. Take care of yourself. This includes good hygiene habits, a balanced diet, moderate exercise, and good sleep. See a doctor regularly.

4. Educate yourself. Learn more about yourself and mental health by reading and watching relevant books and articles, or by attending seminars and courses on psychological rehabilitation. Understand your past experiences and find ways to deal with them.

5. Get to know support groups. Find groups with people who have similar experiences. Share your feelings and experiences with them. They can give you understanding, comfort, and support.

Believe you can get through difficult times and live a happy, healthy life. Be positive and let go of the past.

Dear

Well done on getting through this. I know it must have been tough for you.

We've all been hurt at some point. It wasn't your fault, and dwelling on the past doesn't help us live happily. If you're ready, I invite you to let it go, like a balloon.

I've decided to let go of this and move on. I don't need it anymore.

Now, let's start building the life we want.

Give yourself a break. Being sexually abused as a child was someone else's mistake, not yours.

Because of the fear of shame, I closed myself off. I was too young to handle it at the time. We close ourselves off to protect ourselves, just like an injured animal hiding in a cave to heal its wounds.

I have a lot of problems myself. I have a childish mentality, a low emotional quotient, I don't understand human nature, I don't know how to take care of myself, I often cause trouble for others, I make others angry, and I am isolated and alienated by everyone. Maybe my mentality is not that mature and perfect. I didn't understand some things at the time, but I hurt others. Yes, I am aware of that.

Make changes to the current situation accordingly: I want to become more emotionally intelligent and mature. What can I do? - Read, study, seek the help of a counselor... to get to know yourself and change yourself.

I'm open to asking for advice from those around me to fix the mistakes I've made. I'm also open to repairing friendships and getting their help. If the reason is a lack of gratitude, I think about it. If I really want to be grateful, then what is stopping me from expressing it?

(This part can be discussed during counseling.)

Having a weak stomach also affects other people. She has a lot of physical problems, such as farting sometimes and sometimes blowing her boogers out her nose, among many other embarrassing things.

I also dress very casually. Is this something that happens often?

Or is it just a one-off, and then you forget about it? Can I regulate my intestines and stomach?

For instance, should I be eating more high-fiber foods and less gas-producing foods? If so, what steps can I take to help me avoid this?

There's no communication between family members, and I've never been taught anything. I often do bad things out of ignorance, and my former classmates don't like me and often gossip about me. My family lacks support. Do I have someone I trust in particular who can give me support? For example, a teacher, counselor, or neighbor (find a counselor to keep you company).

My past is pretty sad, and I can't look back on it. That was my original thought.

It's been closed for too long, and a lot of fantasies and delusions have popped up. In the fantasy, I'm really powerful, but I can't always control the fantasies and delusions. If you can see that image, what do you want to do right away to make your dream come true?

The above response is just a starting point. To build on it further, you'll need to do some more in-depth work, ideally with the help of a professional.

Hello.

I want to give you a hug and then talk to you. I hope I can help.

You said you were sexually abused as a child. This is a kind of psychological trauma. You think it's your fault and feel ashamed. This has caused you to close your heart.

You have opened your heart a little in high school and tried to reconnect with the world. This is a great effort, so I'll praise you for it.

The problems you face are part of the process of changing yourself. We will solve the problems as they arise.

You've kept your heart closed for so long that you don't know how to get along with people. This is normal and will happen during the change process.

Keep working on your interactions with others and find your own way of dealing with people.

Your emotional intelligence is low, and you are not good at talking. Just do more and say less. When you don't know what to say, just keep quiet.

You don't know how to be grateful for lost friendships. This shows you already know how to cherish friendships.

In the future, you will meet a good friend and change for them. Friendship will find you because you value it.

We can overcome embarrassing situations due to physical reasons through physical adjustments and exercises.

There's no communication between family members. Have you ever thought you could try to find them to communicate?

If you don't speak up, your family won't know what you're thinking. When you talk to your family, you can get over your past and regain your confidence.

You link these exams to your past because you think your past is awful and you can't face it.

You blame your current situation on past experiences. Even though they are in the past, you still feel victimized and ashamed.

You feel the past has had a huge impact, you are powerless to change it, and you cannot find the confidence you want in reality. This makes you feel comfortable and compensates for your lack of confidence. This is why you rely on fantasies and delusions.

You think it's better to live in fantasy.

But you know fantasy is fantasy. You can't live in fantasy all the time. You have to return to reality.

You don't want to return to reality because it makes you feel bad. You want to change but don't have enough confidence.

Try changing your mindset. Let confidence in your fantasies shine into reality.

Imagine if you could solve your problems and make your reality as good as your fantasy. It would be exciting! So, get to work.

Hello! I can see that you had a rough childhood, and I feel great sympathy and understanding for you. Being sexually abused as a child has caused you a lot of harm, and it has also caused you to develop a lot of wrong perceptions, feelings of self-blame and guilt. Subsequently, you closed yourself off from social interaction, which caused many problems in your life. You are unable to adapt to social interaction, unable to manage yourself, unable to protect yourself. Your family also did not understand and support you. You feel that you are terrible, and you are unable to face your current situation. So now you live in fantasies and delusions every day. I can see your pain. You have had a very difficult life, but you can overcome it!

It's important to remember that the unfortunate events of your childhood were not your fault. You were just a little child, and your power was very weak. You had no way to protect yourself. You were hurt, and you were actually hurt by other people. But you're going to be okay!

You absolutely can and should forgive yourself! It's not your fault, so don't be too hard on yourself. Remind yourself that you are innocent and capable of great things.

I can see that you are currently in a very isolated state, without the support, education, and protection of your family, and without normal social interaction from friends. So you don't know how to live, how to manage yourself, how to interact with others, and how to survive in this world. But you can learn! You are facing many existential crises and challenges, but you can overcome them.

So what should you do? I think you can learn about personal life and start from scratch, learning little by little like a child. For you, even small changes are huge progress!

You can do this! You just need to learn independent living skills from scratch, develop good hygiene habits, establish regular meal and sleep times, learn to socialize, learn to manage and protect yourself. You can do all of this by reading books and taking online courses, many of which are free. Learn what you don't know and watch your life transform!

And there's one more thing! You're living in fantasy and delusion every day, and it's time to solve your problem. Because the content of delusion is not the real world; it's an idea detached from reality.

It's time to connect with the real world and embrace reality! If you're struggling to control your symptoms, I highly recommend visiting a psychiatric hospital as soon as possible. A psychiatrist can provide a differential diagnosis and help you identify any underlying mental health issues. This is an important step for you. Talk to your family and make sure they support you in seeking mental health treatment. The sooner you start treatment, the faster you'll recover and get back to your normal, happy self! I'm rooting for you and wish you all the best in your journey back to wellness.

Hi, classmate! I'm Jiang 61, your go-to person for anything you need.

From what you've shared in the Q&A section, I can see you're going through a rough patch. It's great you're taking the initiative to address your concerns head-on.

First, I want to commend you for taking the first step to move on from your past. Second, I'm pleased to see your awareness and I support you.

Third, today, as your friend, I'd like to help you tackle your concerns.

Let me start by sharing my initial thoughts after reading your description:

1. I think you're a sensitive person with a strong sense of perception.

You say you have a lot of problems, a childish mentality, a low emotional quotient, no idea about how the world works, don't know how to take care of yourself, often cause trouble for others, make others angry and are isolated and alienated by everyone, don't know how to speak or be grateful, lose friendships that you could have had, a poor digestive system that also affects others, can't manage yourself, have a lot of physical problems such as passing wind and sometimes blowing boogers, and dress in a very sloppy manner.

From your description, it's clear you know your body and personality well and are aware of your weaknesses. You also care a lot about how you and others perceive you.

So, you're sensitive and have a very strong sense of perception.

2. Still affected by childhood trauma

You mentioned that you were sexually abused as a child. At the time, you felt so ashamed that you always thought it was your fault. As a result, you shut yourself off from the world around you for many years.

I get the sense that after you were sexually harassed, you felt ashamed and blamed yourself, which led to you blocking your emotions and communication. This blocking also led to you losing important emotional connections during your growth stage, and so far you're unsure how to interact with people.

You said, "There was no communication between family members, and I was never taught anything. I often did bad things out of ignorance, and my former classmates didn't like me and often talked about me. My past is very sad, and I can't look back on it. I still can't accept my past."

Because there wasn't much communication in your family of origin, you're in a bit of a confused state and struggling to find your way out.

3. You have a strong desire to connect.

You said, "I've been shut in for too long, and it's given rise to a lot of fantasies and delusions. In my fantasies, I'm extraordinary, but I can't control them. Reality itself isn't good either. From time to time, I ask myself, 'Am I better off living in a fantasy or in reality?'

Your fantasies and delusions show me that you want to connect and communicate with others. You don't want to be a lonely bird.

Once I've shared my thoughts, I'll see if I can be of any help.

First, let's acknowledge that the past wasn't your fault.

The first step to getting past the past is learning to let go of it. It's really important for you to do this.

Even though the past has been tough, it wasn't your fault. When you were younger, you couldn't always control or understand everything, and you didn't have the power to resist.

So, stop blaming yourself and dwelling on the past.

Find a professional counselor or write down your thoughts yourself. Open up and speak your mind, and formally say goodbye to the past.

Your future is more important than your past. You need to think about how to make tomorrow a success. This is about taking responsibility for yourself and living for yourself.

Second, you need to separate yourself from illness, cheer up, and get back to a healthy you.

Your physical discomfort has also caused you a lot of trouble. This is partly because you've been repressing your emotions for a long time, which has affected your mental health and also your physical health. On the other hand, you do have physical health problems that need to be treated.

Once you've taken that first step and said goodbye to the past, your mental health will be back on track. You'll be a bright, cheerful kid again, and your psychological discomfort will be gone, along with most of your physical discomfort. With physical treatment and a positive mindset, you'll be back to your healthy self and ready to take on social interactions with confidence.

Third, believe in yourself and you'll definitely have a bright future.

As we said earlier, you're a sensitive child with a keen sense of yourself and the outside world. This is your greatest strength and an advantage. You can perceive what's best for you in reality and the future and make appropriate choices.

Once you've taken the second step, you'll be in great shape physically and won't have any social concerns. Trust your instincts and choose someone you trust and get along with. Then, you can become close friends.

You'll rebuild your connections and naturally build new social and professional networks.

Fourth, we'll see how things play out over time.

Give yourself some time to start fresh, let go of the past, overcome illness, and connect with people. These things don't happen overnight, but they will come eventually.

You'll see that a new, confident, and energetic you is starting to emerge in the world.

I believe in you too, and I think you'll find that you're a different person every day.

I wish you all the best and look forward to seeing you grow!

Dear host, I just read your experience and I really want to give you a hug. It's not easy!

I was really sad to read that you've shut yourself off from the world around you and been out of touch for many years.

I'm sure you'll agree that the sexual abuse you suffered as a child was a terrible thing to happen to you. It wasn't your fault!

Absolutely not!

From being hurt to becoming withdrawn, and then slowly coming out of it, continuing to face life—how difficult is this, and can it be experienced by ordinary people? You've been walking this path tenaciously, and this is the courage that belongs to your life!

[There's light in the day, but who knows what the night brings? – Friedrich Nietzsche, famous German philosopher]

There was no communication between family members, and I was never taught anything. I often did bad things out of ignorance, and my former classmates didn't like me and often gossiped about me.

It's normal not to understand the darkness of the night, not to have experienced your pain, and not to have the ability to understand those around you. The dislike of your classmates and the inability to communicate with your family are the reality you face, which has made your pain worse and left you alone. So you blame yourself for it all again.

But they also have their own issues. They have a childlike mentality, low emotional intelligence, don't understand human nature, don't know how to take care of themselves, often cause trouble for others, make others angry, and are isolated and alienated by everyone. They also don't know how to speak or be grateful, which leads to losing some friendships.

I want to say, loud and clear, that I disagree!

It's not that you have "too many problems," but that you have some unresolved issues from the past. These take time to heal.

As you reflect on the past, you're making progress, little by little. You've invested a great deal in this healing process, and you're demonstrating remarkable courage and resilience.

Having a weak stomach also affects other people. If you can't manage yourself, you'll have a lot of physical problems, such as farting sometimes, boogers coming out of your nose sometimes, and so on. It's embarrassing. You also dress in a sloppy manner.

I'd like to gently tell you that your body is trying to tell you something.

Don't try to control it or even dislike it. It's just your body's way of telling you that you have a lot of pent-up emotions that need to be released.

The gastrointestinal function is usually our emotional response system. Let TA know you hear him and that you'll love him well, but ask for some time.

If you reject him and try to control him, he'll just get sad and shout at you even more.

My past is pretty rough, and I still have a hard time looking back on it.

I want to tell you, sincerely, that your past was brave, even though it was unfortunate.

Your past was tough, but it wasn't sad. What's sad is the person who hurt you. He's not just sad, he's also hateful!

Maybe when you've been through what you have, people have told you it wasn't your fault. You know it wasn't, but you still sometimes blame yourself and haven't let it go completely.

That's why you're feeling down and struggling to accept your past.

You didn't cause those bad things! You can change them for the better!

Your past was tough, but you handled it like a champ!

After being cooped up for so long, I've developed a lot of fantasies and delusions. In my fantasies, I'm extraordinary and in control. But reality itself is not good. From time to time, I wonder whether it's better to live in a fantasy or in reality.

I want to be clear: there's a difference between delusion and fantasy!

[Delusion]: A pathological conviction that is absurd, groundless, and that you can't realize on your own.

[Fantasy]: It's your active thinking process. You know you're just imagining something to satisfy a need in your heart.

Delusions are pathological, but appropriate fantasies are normal. Fantasies represent our beautiful expectations for the future and motivate us to work hard. To figure out if what you're experiencing is a delusion or a fantasy, in addition to comparing it with what I've described above, I suggest you seek the help and guidance of a professional psychological counselor. When you're under a lot of psychological pressure and feeling depressed, you can also talk to a listener on the platform to relieve some of your stress.

Your current situation is pretty rough, and it'll be tough to get through it without some help. With the support and guidance of professionals, you'll be able to get through this period better and heal yourself.

I just wanted to say that I think you're great, and I love you and the world thinks you're great too!

Dear questioner,

If you don't know how to take care of yourself, you'll often cause trouble for others. If you don't know how to get along with people, can you listen to what others are saying? If you show an expression of impatience or unfocused eyes when someone is confiding in you, the other person will think that you can't appreciate their situation and that you're not standing in their shoes. Therefore, when listening, it's important to maintain eye contact and facial interaction to keep the communication flowing smoothly. You should also try to agree with the other person to make them feel a sense of identity, which will facilitate communication.

My classmates don't like me, and they gossip about me all the time. It's like they think disparaging me is a form of admiration. I don't have to pay any attention to it. People who are truly better than you are too busy to have time to gossip about you. We can all be considered more or less the same as our classmates. We should be more confident.

When I was younger, I was sexually assaulted. At the time, I felt so ashamed and always thought it was my fault. This is not your fault. You have come so far. I feel really sorry for you. The value of a mistake is not to make us feel powerless, but to make you learn to reflect, break through, take responsibility, and blame yourself. Blame does not help. What we need to do is minimize the damage, learn from the lesson, make sure we do better next time, protect ourselves better, eliminate fear, and treat ourselves kindly no matter what happens. In the long river of life, we must not only learn to treat others kindly, but also to treat ourselves kindly.