Has previous experience led to current emotional instability and anxiety?

I empathize with your situation. It is disturbing to learn that your former romantic partner resorted to threatening you with suicide as a means of exerting control. Fortunately, you have already extricated yourself from this toxic relationship, as otherwise he would likely continue to harass you. Some individuals employ extreme and unconventional tactics to manipulate others.

This individual is a significant threat and should be avoided. Even if the other person makes suicidal threats, it is imperative to seek assistance from law enforcement. As adults, we must assume responsibility for our own lives and avoid transferring that burden to others. The manipulation during that time has already caused distress.

The situation provokes feelings of discomfort, emotional instability, and anxiety. It gives the impression of being a puppet without personal freedom, which is a frightening experience. The oppressive atmosphere and fear are evident. The driving instructor also appears to have some control issues.

Furthermore, by maintaining a strict standard of self-conduct and allowing oneself to experience a considerable degree of discomfort, one can gain insight into the specific emotions being experienced in the present moment. This process also serves to identify whether one is persistently dwelling in a state of emotional distress, as evidenced by the occurrence of crying.

It is recommended that you engage in psychological counseling. If this is not a viable option for you, you may wish to consider speaking with a heart exploration coach or psychological listener about your recent feelings. You have already made significant strides in breaking away from your past experiences. While the situation may still feel overwhelming, you have the capacity to make a difference and establish boundaries. Best wishes.

Please clarify the question.

If I may, I'd like to offer you a 360-degree hug.

It seems that in a previous intimate relationship, you may have met someone who was controlling to a significant degree. This could be a contributing factor to why you are still struggling two years after the breakup.

It seems that you may have been manipulated by a PUA, or perhaps even the Gaslight effect.

The term "gaslighting" has its roots in a 1944 black suspense film, "Gaslight," which tells the story of a young girl, Paula, who inherits a large fortune. In order to gain control of Paula's property, Anton, a young man, marries Paula and employs various tactics to drive her crazy. One of the methods he uses is to deliberately adjust the gaslight in the house to flicker. When Paula expresses doubts about the changes in the light, Anton firmly denies them and tells Paula that it is her hallucination and that there is nothing wrong with the light.

Ultimately, Paula began to question her own perceptions.

Additionally, there was a news item from Taiwan at the end of last year in which a woman wrote an open letter stating that a man had gaslighted her.

It seems that the impact of the relationship on you is still present, and that the past two years have not brought about an improvement. This may be indicative of post-traumatic stress disorder, although I am not in a position to say for certain.

I'm not sure how you got along with other people before you met this boyfriend. It's possible that your current situation may be related to your own personality or experiences. It's also possible that you may be someone who is easily manipulated.

I don't have much insight into your interactions, so I can't be certain. However, it seems that you haven't yet developed post-traumatic stress disorder.

You are currently experiencing some emotional instability and anxiety, yet you are adept at concealing these feelings from others. It seems that some of your aggression is directed inward, and you may benefit from finding an outlet for your emotions.

You might consider letting out all your anxious attacks, for example, by doing some confrontational sports like boxing or similar aggressive sports. This should not affect your work life, but it will also give your emotions an outlet.

You might also consider writing about your emotional anxiety and so on, as you did when you posted on the platform asking for help. You can write it yourself, and just write whatever comes to mind, without worrying about writing style and so on.

You might also consider trying yoga, mindfulness, meditation, etc., as a way of connecting with yourself.

If I may make one more suggestion, it would be to consider speaking with a counselor.

I am a Buddhist and a pessimist, but I also try to be an occasionally positive and motivated counselor. I believe in the world and in people.

It is recommended that you provide yourself with emotional support, as I can perceive your anxiety. It is beneficial that you terminated the relationship, as the outcome would have been unfavorable otherwise.

If we continue to focus on a particular issue while deliberately avoiding it, it will persist in our thoughts.

It is recommended that the questioner discuss the experience with her former partner. Accepting the pain of that time will enable her to live a more open-minded life in the future.

The emotional distress you are experiencing is likely the result of unresolved issues from your past relationship. Despite the fact that you have ended things with your former partner, there may still be some residual emotions and thoughts that are causing you difficulty.

"Following the dissolution of our relationship, I was particularly fearful of everything related to him. Consequently, I attempted to avoid any recollection of the experience."

It would be beneficial to revisit the past and recall the root cause of your apprehension.

Please describe the emotions you experienced when he exerted control over you.

Please describe the reasons behind your feelings of oppression.

Please describe the methods you employed to survive the two-year period.

It is of the utmost importance to:

Please describe the events that transpired over the past two years that led to the decision to terminate the relationship.

The more you understand the circumstances surrounding this period of time, your needs and expectations, the more likely you are to gain the courage to take the necessary steps to leave the situation.

The only way to eliminate the subsequent impact of these factors is to accept their existence.

Our lives are a continuous process of healing and acceptance.

Embrace your own imperfections.

It is important to accept the painful experiences that occur in life.

Embrace the unanticipated and the ambiguous.

The questioner demonstrates a high level of self-awareness. Even in such a challenging situation, it is possible to obtain a driver's license, which represents a significant personal achievement.

Furthermore, you do not display emotional instability to others. You maintain a positive outlook and a cheerful demeanor.

These actions demonstrate your ability to exercise control over your own destiny and to make decisions that are in your best interest.

It is recommended that you persevere in confronting your psychological issues and identify the underlying causes of your distress with the assistance of psychological counseling or a tree hole.

It is possible to make positive changes and improvements in your life. Best wishes for success.

Hello!

Host:

After reading the post carefully, I can feel the hardship of these past few years from the content. At the same time, I also noticed that the poster bravely expressed her distress and actively sought help on the platform, which was a great move! It helped the poster to better understand and understand herself. Thus, she can adjust herself to meet a better self, which is fantastic!

Next, I'm thrilled to share my observations and thoughts from the post, which I'm sure will help the poster gain a richer perspective on herself!

1. Traumatic experiences will have some impact on us – and it's a good thing!

Absolutely! Past experiences have a huge impact on us now.

For example, once bitten by a snake, you are afraid of the well rope for ten years. Judging from the poster's situation with her ex-boyfriend and the situation of taking the driving test, it was a big challenge for the poster—and she rose to the occasion!

Facing the control of her ex-boyfriend, she had to report everything and couldn't even look at him in the eye. If he wasn't satisfied, he would hurt himself. This is actually very scary, but she got through it!

I think the hostess had an incredible two years!

It's totally normal to feel anxious and fearful in such circumstances. At the time, I didn't have the ability to express and resolve these emotions, and I didn't want to face them because I felt so bad. So what should I do?

The only way to deal with it was to avoid it and suppress her emotions. But here's the good news: suppressing emotions doesn't make them go away! They remain buried deep in the subconscious, just waiting to be unleashed.

When the situation allows, they will emerge and create some excitement!

A common manifestation may be that one's emotions can easily get out of control over a trivial matter. This is because most of one's energy is spent suppressing emotions, and there is not much energy left to deal with the real situation. But here's the good news! You can take control of this situation.

It's a bit like being "attacked on two fronts," and you can do it!

2. Go and have a blast accompanying your inner child as it grows up!

Now, let's dive into the fascinating world of the inner child! We can view it as our traumatic memories.

Guess what! Accompanying our inner child as it grows up is actually a healing process. We can imagine what our anxious inner child looks like and have a conversation with her.

Go give her a big hug and tell her you've seen her, you know she's anxious, anyone would be in that situation, and you totally understand her. But the situation is totally different now! Her ex-husband can't threaten her anymore, and you've got everything you need to keep her safe!

I promise I'll protect her no matter what!

Through this kind of dialogue, she slowly but surely came out of her anxious state. Of course, I had to practice this kind of dialogue a lot, and it was worth it!

And the great news is that healing also takes time and space! This means we get to see our repressed emotions and let them flow through dialogue.

And the best part is, those suppressed emotions will no longer affect you!

3. Awareness

We can absolutely manage our emotions! All we need to do is be aware of them. When we're aware of our emotions, we can stop them in their tracks.

Ask yourself what kind of emotion you are feeling and why you are feeling it. What is the name of this emotion?

It's amazing how when we can become aware of our emotions, we are no longer carried away by them!

How can you become aware of it? In our daily lives, we should absolutely do more awareness exercises and pay some attention to our bodies!

It's amazing how our emotions can produce corresponding reactions in our bodies! For example, when I feel anxious, my heart area feels uncomfortable and my heart beats faster.

Guess what! I've discovered a great way to deal with discomfort in my heart. I simply focus on the area to see what's going on. And you know what I realize? I was anxious!

And then, voilà! I relax the area, and—ta-da!—the emotion is gone.

I'm thrilled to share these ideas with the host in the hope that they'll be of some help and inspiration! My name is Zeng Chen and I'm a psychometric coach at OnePsych.

Hello, dear.

From what you've told me, I can see how you've been treated so unfairly. It's so sad that what happened to you up until now still has such a big impact on you. I can understand why you're feeling so anxious, and I'm here to help. It's totally normal to feel sad and want to cry sometimes, and your emotions can be very unstable.

In relationships with other people, it can also be a way of protecting yourself by distancing yourself from them.

It can be really tough to keep up a brave face and force a smile when you're feeling down. We've all been there!

This can make it hard to know what you're really feeling. But you can try to let your true feelings and emotions out. It might be tough at first, but it'll get easier. If you're feeling sad, grieving, or in pain, it's okay to feel that way. It's only by respecting and allowing yourself to feel and express your true feelings and emotions that we can return to our most authentic state.

It's totally normal to feel isolated and depressed when you're facing interactions with the outside world. And it's okay to still feel painful emotions when you're facing yourself. Expressing these emotions can cause anxiety and emotional instability, but it's important to try not to reject these negative emotions and difficult feelings. It's like mourning the unfair treatment we've experienced in the past. But, by talking about it, we can help the introduction go smoothly, which will help us better get through this stage and then start a better life.

All those anxious parts and the parts of your emotional breakdown are the pain and depression inside our bodies that we haven't really faced.

You can try to tell yourself that when you recall those previous bad experiences and encounters, you can express your current thoughts and needs, describe what you were feeling at the time, and comfort your former self as if you were alone now. It's okay to do this.

Even things like practicing driving, following a coach's strict requirements, and getting some scolding and reprimands can bring up feelings like fear, resentment, anger, or even some psychological trauma that reminds us of being treated unfairly by a boyfriend before. It's really important to give yourself a good insight and interpretation.

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now, and I'm here to give you a big hug!

I'm here for you, and I want you to know that I'm sending you a warm hug.

I can see why you're feeling anxious and depressed right now. It might be because of your ex-boyfriend who wanted to be in control, or the driving instructor who kept scolding you while you were learning to drive.

I'm really sorry to say that these two things have caused you a certain amount of psychological harm.

It's so easy to feel overwhelmed by negative emotions when we're carrying too many burdens in our hearts.

If you don't have anyone to talk to, even better! That's when a counseling room is the perfect place to share your thoughts and feelings.

If you don't feel comfortable talking about your feelings in a free group counseling session, that's okay! You can find a paid one-on-one counseling session to talk about it.

If you really want to cry, don't hold it in! Let it all out, whether that's in your own bed or in the bathroom.

It would be really helpful for you to speak to a professional counsellor. They can help you to work through your past experiences of love and the driving instructor who was always so strict with you.

I think your current problem might need a bit of a systematic approach to get it sorted.

If you're not sure how many times you need to consult about your current problem, don't worry! You can first seek help from the instant listener here on the platform.

If you need it, the immediate listener will also refer you to a professional counselor.

What's most important is that the counselor can adopt a third-party perspective, a non-judgmental outlook, and an objective attitude. This allows them to give you advice that is more pertinent, useful, and constructive.

The counselor is also there to help you face the rest of your life with a positive and proactive attitude.

I really hope the problem you're having gets sorted out soon.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can only think of these things right now.

I really hope my answer was helpful and inspiring for you! I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Wishing you all the best!