Haunted by past experiences, feeling incredibly helpless, unsure of what to do?

Dear Question Asker,

After reviewing your inquiry, I am compelled to share my observation that you appear to be experiencing a significant degree of distress. It is evident that you are reluctant to venture beyond the confines of your home, which is understandable given the circumstances. It is clear that your current situation is highly challenging and that you are enduring a considerable degree of suffering. I extend my deepest sympathies to you.

In your inquiry, you have indicated that past experiences continue to influence your present situation. Despite having relocated, you are concerned about encountering former educators because they remain in the same location. This has led to a reluctance to leave your residence. It is important to note that we cannot compel these individuals to leave. This is a matter beyond our control. It further complicates your ability to reside in this environment. I wish you well.

I believe it is important for you to be aware of the following psychological principle: those who suffer and seek help will inevitably change. You have come here for assistance because you are experiencing pain. In psychology, there is also a principle that being aware of oneself is the first step towards change. You have sought help, which indicates that you have become aware of yourself, and this is actually the beginning of change.

In other words, you are already aware that the only one who can change is yourself, and it is impossible to make past experiences not happen. You do not wish to interact with those past teachers, but they also have to live in this place where you live. Therefore, you are attempting to identify an effective solution. You see, you promptly returned to your home from the location where the unpleasant experience originally occurred. This significantly minimizes the potential harm to you, as there are only a few past teachers in this area.

This is already a very effective solution for you. Through your own efforts, you have already alleviated your suffering. Furthermore, you are also actively trying to find a counselor, take medication, etc., to solve the pain in your body. I can see the efforts you have made to solve the problem, and I commend you on your efforts.

I observed that you are reluctant to open the curtains at home, apprehensive about having cameras installed in your home, and hesitant to consult on your phone. You consistently feel unsafe. I had this idea: could it be related to the arrival of spring and the blossoming flowers? You might benefit from a trip to a distant location. It would be optimal if you could find a family member or friend you trust to accompany you to an unfamiliar place where you can reconnect with nature, observe the blue sky, the vast sea, the expansive grasslands, the endless desert, or admire the world from a high mountain. This would allow you to fully immerse yourself in nature and experience its enchantment.

If your financial situation allows, we believe there are limited resources for psychological counseling in this city. You may wish to consider traveling to a larger city to find more well-known professionals or visiting a major hospital to explore other options. This could be a viable path.

It is inadvisable to continue using this platform as a means of expressing one's emotions. Instead, users are encouraged to write anonymously, allowing their thoughts and feelings to flow freely. It is important to note that this process can be beneficial in itself, as it allows individuals to process their emotions. In addition to the aforementioned, this platform also offers the option of writing stories, where users can anonymously express their thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Unlike the previous option, this one has a much smaller word limit. It is crucial to understand that writing out one's inner feelings can be a form of psychological healing, known as writing therapy. It is essential to recognize that this process is not a temporary solution and that the user may feel uneasy about sharing their thoughts and feelings on this platform. However, it is important to maintain this state of mind and continue writing.

I am confident that with a positive outlook and a determination to find solutions, you will be able to identify an effective approach that aligns with your expertise to overcome this challenge.

I am confident that you can succeed. The entire world and I admire you!

Good day, I am contacting you in response to your query. It is evident from your written words that we have had an opportunity to interact in person.

After carefully reviewing your description, I understand your distress. Despite having left the situation, you are still affected by a past experience. You have also sought counseling, but the counselor may not have been an optimal fit, preventing them from providing comprehensive assistance. I commend you for your exceptional self-awareness and the effort you have put into this process.

Let us proceed with discussing the issue at hand.

You stated, "Due to a negative experience from the past, despite having moved on, I continue to be affected and troubled by it." At this juncture, I would like to inquire:

1. Could you please describe the nature of the experience in question?

2. Could you please clarify how long ago the experience took place?

3. Could you please describe how that experience was handled at the time and in the place in question?

4. Is this issue known to anyone else?

The aforementioned four points are intended to demonstrate that the formation of most states is influenced by specific stimuli. By moderately retracing the developmental context of the events at the time, one may identify resources that can be utilized to adjust this state.

You have also indicated that you are reluctant to leave your residence due to concerns about being seen by individuals from your past. Additionally, you have expressed discomfort with having your curtains drawn, particularly when they are open. Furthermore, you have expressed suspicion regarding the presence of surveillance devices and monitoring of your phone activities. In light of these concerns, I would like to inquire further about:

1. Please indicate the date on which you first became aware of this situation.

2. Please describe the circumstances that led to this situation.

The aforementioned points are intended to illustrate the underlying factors that impede your progress following the incident. These include anxiety stemming from a perceived lack of personal security.

The memories of those teachers in that place have caused you distress. Even if you leave that place, as long as those memories remain in your heart, you will continue to react to them.

However, I would like to take this opportunity to reassure you that this is normal. Let us consider this from a different perspective. Your reaction to the situation demonstrates that you have already begun to address it directly. Consequently, we now have the chance to discuss how we can make the necessary adjustments.

As you have already demonstrated, you have taken the initiative to address the issue at hand.

If I may be so bold as to offer a suggestion, it might be that you lack confidence and a sense of certainty. I hope that the above responses and sharing can supplement these two resources to some extent.

Please be advised that you are at liberty to continue living your accustomed lifestyle and to take the necessary precautions for your protection.

I wish you the best of luck and hope to have the opportunity to work with you again in the future.

Hello, questioner! I'm a Heart Detective coach.

I read your problems on the platform. Have you had a bad experience? You said you are still affected by it even though you left. You are afraid to go out because you are afraid of being seen by those people. At home, the curtains must be drawn tightly. You feel scared and uncomfortable whenever you open them. You suspect there are cameras in the house and you are worried about being monitored. You haven't been able to find a suitable counselor, and you are now taking medicine, but the past experience has always affected you.

You've been affected by the bad things in the past. Self-regulation and counseling haven't helped. Online counseling makes you afraid someone can see you through your phone camera. I don't know what to do. Perhaps you've fallen into anxiety and fear because of this experience. You need to find out the real reason and see what's going on.

Help you think things through:

1. Accept your emotions.

You're in a bad mood because you're afraid to go out. Try to accept your feelings and don't suppress them. You may have made mistakes in the past. Accept them and move on. The most important thing is to live in the present.

2. Imagine you're them.

"I'm afraid of being seen by people from the past, so I keep the curtains closed. I feel scared and uncomfortable whenever I open them. I suspect there are cameras in my home. I worry about being watched." You are uneasy, anxious, and uncomfortable. But if you calm down and think about it, do other people really have that much time to observe you? Consider their point of view and motives. What is their connection to you?

They spend a lot of time spying on you, but you don't hate them. This can help you understand the situation better.

3. Stop your wild thoughts.

You are taking medicine, but your past experiences have caused you to become mentally depleted. Self-regulation and counseling are not very effective, but you should try to stop thinking nonsense. Find a professional counselor to help you. Online counseling is not ideal, so try offline counseling first. Find a counselor you trust to help you.

4. Get help.

If you need help dealing with the past, you can seek external support. Professional psychologists can help you. They will listen to you, help you solve problems, and give you a new understanding of yourself. You can also talk to your close friends and family about your distress. Try to broaden your horizons and change your way of thinking. Stop focusing on your past bad experiences. Take it easy.

I hope this helps. If you want to talk more, you can find me on my personal website. Just choose the Heart Exploration service and send me a message. Love,

Hello! I just wanted to send you a warm hug from afar.

I'm grateful you reached out for help. I hope sharing my experience can provide some support and guidance.

The past is just that—the past. What's still with us is the emotional and emotional pain that came from that event. Maybe because you felt helpless at the time, you couldn't see the resources and abilities you have to better cope with the event.

On the other hand, if you try to hide your painful emotions, they'll stay in your body and mind as trauma.

If you know what you've been through and are ready to make changes, you can try facing it with the help of this awareness. For instance, you can talk to your close family and friends about how you felt because of the traumatic event. When you can express and listen to your emotions, you'll feel half as much pain. You'll realize you're not alone in facing it. As long as you need it, the people you love will be there for you, listen to you, and support you.

You might also want to try writing down your emotions, feelings, and physical and mental state and reaction patterns at that moment. This can be a good way to start facing your past trauma.

From what you've said, it's clear that your current state of mind is affecting your normal life, and you need professional help. But I want to tell you that whether it's offline or online counseling, your counselor will make sure you're in a safe space. You can try to tell your counselor about this part of your worries.

So, don't be afraid. That's what counseling is all about.

Hi, I'm Lily, the Q&A Museum's resident expert. I just wanted to say that I love you all and I'm here to help.

It is so important to adopt effective psychological interventions to deal with the persistent effects of past negative experiences. This is especially true when these experiences have led to complex psychological reactions such as anxiety, fear, and avoidance behaviors. The great news is that there are various psychological theories and methods that can help you deal with these issues!

I'm excited to share some suggestions for self-adjustment!

I. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioral therapy is an amazing treatment approach! It's based on the core idea that our thoughts (cognitions) have a direct impact on our emotions and behaviors. CBT reduces symptoms by identifying and challenging negative or irrational thinking patterns (cognitive distortions) and changing these thoughts through behavioral experiments and techniques.

For example, you mentioned concerns about being watched. The great news is that the "evidence checking" technique in CBT can help you assess the reality behind these thoughts and gradually establish a more realistic cognitive model.

2. Exposure Therapy

I'm so excited to tell you about exposure therapy! It's one of the most effective strategies for treating fear and anxiety disorders, especially when targeting specific fears (such as fear of going out or fear of being seen). This method involves gradual and repeated exposure to fear-provoking stimuli in a safe and controlled environment, with the aim of reducing fear responses to these stimuli.

Absolutely! In your case, it would be really beneficial to gradually build trust and a sense of security in the external environment under the guidance of a mental health professional.

Psychodynamic Theory

Psychodynamic theory is all about the hidden forces that shape our behavior and emotions. It's about peeling back the layers to uncover the deep psychological conflicts related to past adverse experiences. When we do this, we can finally unlock the internal causes of our current anxiety and fear. It's a fascinating process!

Psychodynamic therapy is all about building a strong, supportive relationship between you and your therapist. This is the foundation of the therapy, and it's a great way to explore any repressed feelings, conflicts, or experiences you might have.

4. Mindfulness Mindfulness is an amazing practice that has been shown to help people cope with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's a technique that involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It's a way of living in the moment, and it's been shown to help people feel more in control of their lives.

The wonderful practice of mindfulness has its roots in Buddhism and has recently been embraced by psychotherapy. Mindfulness training encourages individuals to pay attention to their current experiences, including their thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations, in a non-judgmental way.

Mindfulness practice is an amazing way to learn to better manage and accept the thoughts and emotions that trouble you. Instead of trying to avoid or control them, you can use mindfulness practice to observe these thoughts. For example, when you notice your worry about being watched, you can use mindfulness practice to observe these thoughts instead of reacting to them immediately.

5. Person-Centered Therapy

Person-centered therapy, developed by Carl Rogers, is all about empathy, unconditional positive regard, and genuineness in the therapeutic process. This approach believes that everyone has the potential for self-realization, and that providing a supportive, non-judgmental environment can help individuals explore themselves and achieve personal growth.

In your case, finding a counselor who can provide this kind of environment is a great step forward! It will help you better understand your feelings and gradually overcome the effects of the past.

In summary, you can absolutely face persistent psychological distress caused by past experiences! The key is to find the right psychological intervention for you. Although resources in your area may be limited, there are so many other possibilities. You can seek professional help through online platforms, try different treatments, and establish healthy living habits. All of these are possible solutions!

Remember, seeking and accepting help is a sign of strength! Everyone's road to recovery is unique, and finding the path that is right for you is crucial. I'm cheering you on and wishing you the strength and peace of mind to overcome these challenges step by step!

Hello! I'm Xin Tan, Coach Xiufu, and I'm thrilled to be able to give you some advice.

From your description, it's clear you're going through a lot right now. It's totally normal to feel confused and distressed, especially when you've had bad experiences in the past. Even if you leave your past environment, you're still affected and troubled.

You are so excited to go out and explore the world because you are ready to show those people from the past who's boss! These people are a few teachers. So, did something happen to you in the past at school? Is it a challenge with your academic performance that you're ready to conquer, or did these teachers challenge you in a way that made you stronger, or did they have certain expectations of you that you weren't able to meet, and instead they gave you constructive feedback?

In fact, your personal experience does have a little privacy, so you can click on my personal homepage, talk about it in words, ask me questions, and I believe this will alleviate your concerns about whether you are afraid of being seen by the phone's camera. And it's all totally worth it!

Let's dive deeper! In the past, there were so many people you didn't want to see, and now you get to keep the curtains drawn at home.

You are afraid that others will see you again. What exactly happened in the past that made you unable to see them again and face them? I'm sure they must have caused you a lot of harm. You don't want to face it, or perhaps there are things you can't do, or you really don't have the ability to do them. You are perhaps unable to face these people, and perhaps you need to give them an explanation, a response, so you can't accept the helplessness, the feeling of powerlessness, when you face these teachers. But you can do it! You can face them and you can overcome your fears.

So you want to wrap yourself up tightly and not let them see you!

And then there's the thrilling possibility that someone has installed a pinhole camera at home while you're there, and that your phone screen is being monitored!

So, this leads me to ask: have these teachers had a significant impact on your privacy? You are afraid of being seen by others, and this incident has also made you afraid of your privacy, or of being seen as a person.

So, is being seen the biggest problem you face right now? Let's dive in and find out!

Absolutely! If you're feeling overwhelmed by the idea of being seen by others, why not explore a new environment? It's a great opportunity to embrace a fresh start. If you've been in the same school since junior high or high school, it's a fantastic chance to discover a new campus and embrace a new chapter.

The good news is that the probability of encountering these people is also very low, so you don't have to worry too much. Then you suspect that someone has installed a camera in your home. The even better news is that we can help you figure out whether there is a camera in the home based on the actual situation.

Absolutely! It's just you and your family at home. So, if someone else comes in, we can easily install a surveillance camera at the door. This way, you'll always know who's there and can prevent any issues before they even arise!

In your bedroom or living room, etc., if you are sure that no one else has been there, we can tell ourselves based on the facts that we are safe and there is no chance that we can be seen by others, so this can be avoided. And that's great news!

Guess what! It looks like someone is spying on your phone screen. Do you have any junk software or malicious programs on your phone?

The good news is that these can be avoided as much as possible by using some regular software to check and clean up the phone. In addition, for each software, there are actually some options such as turning off the microphone and camera, which can be selected in the application settings.

The good news is that it's not scary to encounter difficulties. The even better news is that we can find solutions when difficulties arise, which can greatly reduce your personal psychological pressure.

And there's the exciting opportunity to explore more resources for psychological counseling in your city! You might even find a counselor who's a perfect fit.

So, for your medication question, what type of mental health problem has been detected in a regular hospital? You can also organize this part into text, combine it with what I mentioned above that you want to tell me, and click on my personal homepage to ask me a question. I would love to help you sort it out in written form as a heart exploration coach!

I really hope that my answer can give you some emotional comfort!

I'm excited to hear from you! I wish you all the best!

Hello!

After reading your description, I totally get where you're at!

First of all, you wrote in your description: "Because of a bad past experience, even though I have left that place, I am still constantly affected and troubled." This is an avoidant mentality, which is also an instinctive behavior. It's fascinating how our minds work! Just like the description in books on microexpression psychology, behavioral psychology, and criminal psychology, when you don't want to see something you don't want to see, you instinctively cover your eyes with your hands. When you have had a bad experience, you instinctively run away.

You may have escaped the immediate incident, but the problem has not been solved. This kind of stigma is like a problem that will accumulate over time and become a burden. In feudal society and novels, this is called the "demon of the heart." But don't worry! If the "demon of the heart" is not removed, it will manifest itself in your current state. At this time, an old saying from the ancients is very useful: "He who rings the bell must also untie the knot." The good news is that you can resolve the problem yourself!

Second, you wrote in your description: "Because there are not many psychological counseling resources in my city, I tried it a few times, and that counselor may not be suitable for me and did not completely help me." I don't know which city you are in, but I'm excited to help you find the right resources! It is true that counselors are not yet widely available, but there are many options out there. In many second-tier cities and even in remote cities, there are very few such resources, but there are still plenty of other options. This is because people in these places lack an understanding of mental illness, and even the understanding of psychological counseling is linked to mental illness. Often, at the beginning, verbal medical treatment can be replaced by drug treatment, but there are so many other options!

The good news is that there are plenty of ways to release that pressure! Dancing, singing, drinking, and other behaviors are great ways to let it all out. But what if you're looking for something more? That's where a counselor can help!

You also mentioned in your description that after a few attempts, you realized the counselor might not be the best fit for you and that they couldn't help you completely. You also said you were afraid of the phone during online counseling, afraid someone could see you through the phone camera.

"The first thing you need to do to solve problems through counseling is trust. Why do many people have misunderstandings about psychologists? The main reason is distrust. When you go to counseling with too much skepticism, every description you give is incomplete, which causes the problem to deviate from its original course. The psychologist is unable to make a correct judgment, and you also feel that the psychologist is incompetent. Then someone will exaggerate their experiences and describe them to the people around them, and then a prejudice against the psychologist will be formed.

As the saying goes, good news never travels fast, but bad news travels fast!

I've got some great advice for you!

1. You've got this! According to your description, what you need to do is build up your psychological strength, which is also a matter of trust. This will have a direct effect on solving your problem.

2. Learning to face your past experiences is actually the easiest way to do it! Sure, time cannot be turned back, but you can do it through imagination or other means. The simplest may become the most difficult, but you can do it!

3. The great news is that you can find a city with lots of resources for psychologists to live in, which will really help your condition!

The above content is for your reference only!

Hello, I'm Coach Yu. Let's talk about this.

Security is a feeling of confidence, safety, and freedom from fear and anxiety. It's also a feeling of satisfaction with one's needs in the present and future.

If we grew up in an unsafe, hostile environment, these experiences will often continue to affect us until we grow up. We may worry that relationships are unsafe and hostile.

Our feelings about relationships are often influenced by how we feel about ourselves and others. If we feel we are bad in many ways, we will worry that other people just don't like us.

When we feel angry or have strong emotions towards others, we worry about being seen or that others will find out and react badly. We feel unsafe and hostile. When we suppress these emotions, we feel uneasy.

I'm afraid of going out and being seen by those people from the past. Online counseling is afraid of the phone, and I'm afraid of being seen by others through the camera.

Past experiences can affect current relationships. Even if you leave, you can still be affected.

Ask yourself what happened, what you felt, and what the scene was like.

Have you ever asked for help?

We can ask ourselves what they would say if we expressed our feelings.

Adler said that past experiences don't matter. What matters is how we see them. We must have courage to look ahead. We have grown up, and life will progress towards our ideals.

We can challenge ourselves with people close to us. Talk to your parents. Tell them what you think and what you want from them. This can help you feel better and help you express yourself better. Sometimes doing this can help you feel better.

We can also calm our emotions. When we notice negative emotions, we can say "stop" and then ask ourselves, "What am I worrying about? That's not true."

When we let go of our burdens, stop forcing others, and gain an objective understanding of ourselves, we will not be swayed by external voices and judgments. We will face problems and difficulties with equanimity.

Love yourself. The original poster is aware of themselves and has good values. Take care of your body and your feelings.

If you need help, find someone you trust to talk to. You can also find a counselor or join a support group. It's okay to feel this way.

If you want, you can make an appointment at a regular hospital for a physical exam.

Use the weekend to read, study, and learn more. Get out and meet people too.

Recommended book: "Know Thyself, Accept Thyself"

I'm so sorry, but since you've shared so much about your experiences, I can't give you advice that's tailored to your specific needs.

Overall, based on the psychological characteristics you described, it seems like you might have a phobia.

A phobia is also known as a terror neurosis. It's an abnormal fear and nervousness that a patient experiences when facing certain situations, objects, or interactions with others. This can lead to physical symptoms such as blushing, shortness of breath, sweating, palpitations, changes in blood pressure, nausea, weakness, and even fainting, which can result in avoidance.

It's totally normal to feel this way! It's just that the fear response is excessive or unreasonable, but it still occurs repeatedly and is difficult to control. As a result, you might try to avoid the object or situation that causes the fear, or endure it with fear, thus affecting your normal activities.

From a classification point of view, your behavior is considered "social phobia," where all fearful situations are related to social interactions. For example, you might be afraid of meeting people, which is totally understandable!

We don't yet know what causes phobias. Research suggests that they may be related to genetic factors, temperament factors, physiological factors, and psychosocial factors.

I can see you have a good understanding of yourself and know to seek help proactively, so I don't think you've reached the level of a mental illness.

You mentioned you're taking medication. Have you had a professional diagnosis at a regular hospital? It's not really appropriate to take medication on your own just because of the advice of a counselor. A counselor can't prescribe medication.

I'm not sure what kind of analysis and judgment the previous counselor made of your psychological condition. If it's only a phobia, there are lots of ways to help, like psychotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, adjusting unreasonable thoughts, and systematic desensitization therapy. Medication is only used in more severe cases.

I really think it would be a good idea for you to go to the psychology or psychiatric department of a major hospital with a family member (just to be safe!), so you can get a proper scientific diagnosis.

If you're dealing with a mental health issue like schizophrenia or a serious psychological problem like moderate or severe anxiety, it's really important to take your medication on time, just as your doctor has prescribed.

If it's a general psychological problem, or if you seek help from a mental health professional when you're in a stable period, you'll be happy to know that the effect after intervention is still very good!

I just wanted to say, basically, that that's all for now. I really hope you get better really quickly!