Is forgetting something that is particularly bad for me a good thing?

Hello, young lady. I can see you're feeling a little confused right now, so I'm here to give you a big hug!

Don't worry, these are just some growing pains. I give you another warm hug.

You mentioned that when you were chatting with your boyfriend today, you brought up that unfortunate incident a few years ago when you were tricked into pyramid selling by a close friend.

Then you realize that when you bring it up again today, you don't remember most of the details or memories at all.

So you start to wonder whether it's really your memory that's failing, or whether there's some other reason why you're forgetting about it.

In psychology, there's a term that I think you'll find really interesting. It's called "selective forgetting."

It's totally normal! It's usually because the things you've experienced are too painful, so your subconscious mind will automatically isolate that bad experience in order to protect itself.

You're 27 this year, and you're noticing that your memory is getting a little worse.

As we get older, we'll probably start to notice a few other things that bother us. It's only natural to feel like our brains aren't quite up to scratch, and that our memory isn't as good as it used to be.

If that bad experience with pyramid schemes hasn't affected your current normal life or studies, you can choose not to deal with it deliberately.

I really hope the problem you're having gets sorted out soon.

I'm so sorry, but I can think of only these things now.

I really hope my answers are helpful and inspiring to you, young lady. I'm the answer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! All the best!

I would like to offer you a little flower to cheer you up! I have noticed three key points that I believe are worth mentioning: first, "being tricked by a friend into joining a pyramid scheme"; second, "forgetting the details of the past"; and third, "easily forgetting things these days".

It is possible that being tricked into a pyramid scheme by a friend is a result of a lack of clarity in the friendship. It may be helpful to consider that the mistake may not lie with you, but rather with the person involved, who may be unable to see the problem clearly. If I were in a similar situation and encountered the same friend and circumstances, I would probably also make the same mistake.

It can be quite challenging to be deceived by someone you consider a friend. In such a situation, it might be helpful to reflect on whether the trust you place in your friends is truly justified.

It might be helpful to think carefully about what kind of people are true friends, what the difference is between acquaintances and friends, and what level of trust can be given to acquaintances who are not friends.

I hope these examples of thoughts are helpful to you. I encourage you to think of others yourself.

I must admit that I forgot the details of joining a pyramid scheme. If that period of time made you very unhappy, forgetting is a benefit that memory gives you. I'm not sure how much memory capacity there is, but it seems that memory is definitely not unlimited. What is remembered is what is forgotten.

Clearing away painful memories can make room for your knowledge, your happiness, and your experiences. If you can't remember, perhaps it's best to simply move on. Fill your memory with the good things in life, with new things you learn, and with lessons you've learned!

Perhaps the previous experience of not being able to remember has taught us something valuable. It might be helpful to consider that if someone proposes doing something in the future, it could be beneficial to first find out about it online or from family members using multiple channels, and then to consider it properly before making a decision.

I've noticed that I've been having a bit of trouble remembering things lately. I think it might be because I haven't been getting enough rest, or I've been thinking about other things, or I'm just too tired.

It might be helpful to make a list of the things you have been thinking about and see if you can identify any positive impact they are having on your life. If you can't, it might be a good idea to focus your energy on the task at hand.

If you are having trouble sleeping, you might want to consider speaking with a doctor about ways to help you fall asleep more quickly.

Hello,

Owner:

I am Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I have carefully read the post, and I understand your current confusion.

The poster has also bravely expressed his own problems and actively sought help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help him better understand and recognize himself, and thus adjust himself.

I will now share my observations and thoughts on the post, which I am confident will help you gain a more diverse perspective.

1. Please explain your understanding of the word "forgot."

The post mentions forgetting something bad that happened to you. Is that a good thing? Furthermore, recalling the incident leaves you with fragments and images, and you feel like your memories are being rejected. Your heart slowly becomes irritable.

Is this normal forgetfulness due to my poor memory, or is there something else going on?

After reading all this, I want to know how you understand forgetting this word. Different people and perspectives have different understandings of this word.

From a psychological standpoint, forgetting can have two meanings. One is that we repress our emotions and suppress them into our subconscious, rendering them unaware.

This matter has had too great an impact on us, so we do not have sufficient ability to face it. It causes us a lot of pain, so we forget some things to make ourselves feel better. This is a way for us to protect ourselves.

Another way to forget is to let go of the matter completely.

The event may still exist, and we may recall some fragments, but it has no impact on us. This means we have truly let go and come out of this negative event.

The host can therefore feel what kind of feelings he is experiencing at the moment based on his inner feelings, which helps him understand what type of "forgetting" he is talking about.

2. Look to your emotions for answers.

The post reveals that when the poster attempts to recall memories, they can only remember fragments and images. They also feel that something is rejecting their memories, which causes their heart to feel restless. After reading this, I intend to delve deeper with the poster to uncover the reason behind this rejection.

My inner restlessness is trying to tell me something. We should know that our emotions actually carry some information and that they are a bridge to our inner self.

We can discover our own needs by capturing the information in our emotions, thereby deepening our understanding and knowledge of ourselves. The original poster should have a conversation with his emotions.

Your emotions are trying to tell you something. Why do you have such an emotional reaction?

The host should also write these down because writing helps us organize our thoughts and capture information.

Ultimately, I'm unsure if this forgetfulness is beneficial, but I believe it's an opportunity for you to gain self-awareness. I hope this proves helpful.

I am gratified to have concluded perusing your text. Even though we are separated by a digital interface, I can discern the trepidation you harbor regarding your own self-perception: Might this be an instance of selective amnesia?

Alternatively, could it be a self-defense mechanism?

Firstly, you stated that you had discussed the incident with me a few years ago when I was duped by a friend into participating in a pyramid scheme. I was involved in the scheme for approximately half a month, which was a challenging experience, but I ultimately extricated myself from it. In reflecting on this event today, I have come to realize that I have largely forgotten about it.

However, I do recall the dissolution of my romantic relationship.

The term "selective amnesia" is used in psychology, while in the medical field, the term "amnesia" is used to describe the loss of memory for events associated with a psychological trigger.

Two forms of forgetting have been identified: anterograde amnesia and retrograde amnesia. In retrograde amnesia, past events are forgotten, while new memories can still be formed.

Secondly, is this a typical consequence of a poor memory, or is there another explanation? Is there a need to retain this information?

Furthermore, I perceive a decline in my memory abilities in recent years. I am currently 27 years of age.

The pressure of real life is intensifying, and there is a universal longing for beauty. Beauty has the capacity to evoke positive emotional states, both physically and mentally.

At the age of 27, if memory truly is deteriorating, it may be that certain events are not being consciously recalled, or that they are of minimal importance.

Then, how do you cope with this situation? I will describe my own approach, which you may wish to adopt.

For example, one can utilize a sticky note to affix a list of errands to a conspicuous location, or alternatively, one can set an alarm on one's mobile device to serve as a reminder. Concurrently, it is advisable to engage in physical activity.

I trust that I do not need to elaborate further on the benefits of exercise. Would you be amenable to trying it?

It is important to note that encountering problems is not inherently frightening; rather, it is the manner in which one responds to these challenges that determines the outcome. It is beneficial to have a supportive partner who can provide guidance and encouragement during difficult times.

It may be the case that you recall positive experiences because you possess a kind disposition. I extend my best wishes to you.

Indeed, the concept of happiness can be distilled to a mere nine words: a place to return to, a person to await, and sustenance to consume. The notion of tranquil contentment that characterizes the years can be reduced to the image of a hot soup at home and the assurance of a constant source of light.

The questioner's distress is palpable.

Memories of a bad experience fade with the passage of time. However, they are now being awakened.

It is clear that the questioner has a very negative view of this event, and the subconscious mind rejects it.

This is my opinion, and I stand by it.

You need to understand why you feel like you can only remember fragments.

The memory is still in your mind. It has not disappeared.

Bad experiences are often recalled repeatedly in the period immediately after the event. However, life goes on, new worries arise, and people's attention is diverted, so the memory gradually fades into the background.

When you really want to remember something, you will find it difficult. It is the same as when you cannot remember the answer to a test.

These memories will suddenly flash by, and your consciousness will not be able to capture them.

Your memory is not an accurate record of what happened. It is a process of editing, and we simplify and add to our memories. Over time, it is hard to say whether what your memory tells you is true.

You want to know, but you're afraid.

This conflicted feeling also hinders recollection.

The questioner is certain that when recalling, something is resisting the recollection, and their heart begins to feel restless.

Your conscious mind resists remembering, and the questioner is aware of this but unwilling to face it. If the questioner really doesn't feel anything, then it's the subconscious mind resisting.

This is also a kind of protective mechanism. The brain is simply protecting you from having to face a previous experience you may not have been ready to accept.

Why did it suddenly come back to you?

The key node was triggered, so we can recall something. We need a link. When you and your boyfriend talked about this content, it triggered this key point, and the memory came back.

You need to decide if you want to remember it.

It's a matter of opinion. You know how this experience made you feel.

We all know the past is gone forever. Unlike in novels, there is no do-over. Seize the moment!

If you don't try to remember, you will undoubtedly feel very troubled, and the period of distress will be quite long.

Recalling it will undoubtedly bring back bad memories.

It depends on the individual.

My memory has recently been getting worse.

Memory decline is a normal phenomenon. If you don't use your memory often and don't practice memory methods, your memory will likely decline.

Another possibility is that your anxiety and distress are affecting your memory.

The solution is clear.

Dreaming is a way of remembering. When you want to know something or feel something is unsatisfactory, you can realize and reflect it through dreams.

Hello!

Shame is a primitive emotion. We try not to face things that make us feel ashamed. This emotion is thrown into the subconscious.

This is also about what happened with your boyfriend today. You were tricked into a pyramid scheme. You've almost forgotten about it.

You think being tricked into a pyramid scheme is shameful, so you "forget" it. But you remember your boyfriend leaving you the next year, which made you feel worse.

This is because the hurt is fair and just. It has nothing to do with our sense of shame.

When you try to remember the betrayal, you can only remember fragments. This is the subconscious protecting you. Or perhaps you are not strong enough to deal with it. You are rejecting it or not willing to face your shame. When you try to remember, you are in conflict. This is expressed as irritability.

The restlessness caused by primitive emotions is positive. We should ask ourselves how much harm it has caused.

What are the effects on relationships?

Are you suspicious of friends or reluctant to make new ones? Use this feeling to reconcile with yourself and forgive yourself and the friend who hurt you.

To change your state of mind, accept yourself, love yourself, and be tolerant of others. This will help you see things more clearly and feel less shame. This is the process of self-growth.

If someone else brings up the incident, it won't affect you.

We don't judge these things emotionally. If you remember something, sort out the emotions. For example, annoyance is brought about by shame. Identify these emotions, soothe them, allow them to exist, and rationalize them.

Then relax and let the emotions flow. Use love and tolerance to approach them gently.

Don't be hard on yourself or resent others. Let the warm light within you out. You will discover that you are brand new.

This is how we all grow up. You change, and your memory problems will go away.

I am your guide. I love you.

Dear question asker, Please accept this hug from afar. I hope it brings you warmth.

I believe I may have heard you say that forgetting something that was not beneficial to you is important.

It might be said that our memories are not entirely objective. Sometimes, when we try to remember something or forget something, we may feel that we are not doing so successfully.

It might be helpful to remember that our memories are not always as reliable as we think. There's a good analogy for this: it's like a fickle man. When you're together, you're inseparable, but when you part, he doesn't even look back.

It's natural to think that things we remember forever will stick with us forever. But the reality is that we tend to forget things we don't want to remember, while the things we do want to remember fade away over time.

Some people find it challenging to move on from an unsuccessful relationship and experience difficulty finding happiness again.

Some people may find themselves dwelling on a challenging work experience, which could potentially lead to feelings of self-doubt and missed opportunities for growth and improvement.

Some people find themselves preoccupied with a particular cheating experience or deeply affected by a violent encounter.

It's possible that you might be experiencing one of these things. In theory, all bad memories need to be forgotten, but that's only in theory. The human brain is not a computer, and the content stored is not chosen by humans at all.

Could the reason why painful memories are so difficult to erase be that they serve as subtle reminders not to make the same mistakes? It is often the case that suffering can give people the opportunity for growth. To illustrate this, if a child doesn't fall down when learning to walk, how can they walk quickly?

It is perhaps easier to heal physical pain from falling over when learning to walk than it is to heal emotional pain. This may help you to understand how the OP feels right now. You are very brave to be considering this. In many cases, we need to be considerate of ourselves.

The questioner mentioned that memories may not be as clear as they once were.

In the face of the complexities of life and work, many people may find themselves feeling increasingly anxious and confused. During such times, it can be helpful to take a step back and simplify one's life. As the saying goes, trying to achieve too many things at once can lead to feeling overwhelmed. It may be beneficial to engage in activities that bring you joy, improve yourself, and practice mindfulness to calm your mind.

It is important to remember that growing older is irreversible, and that anxiety is not something to be feared. Every day is the youngest day of the rest of our lives.

As the seasons change, the clouds in the sky clear, the rain passes, and the snow melts in the cold valley, giving birth to spring.

I feel as though I've been cleansed, though I'm unsure if my heart is as pure as snow.