A 20-year-old girl is anxious about her flat chest; how can she live out her true self?

Dear questioner, I extend my gratitude for your inquiry.

In light of the aforementioned query, it is my intention to engage in discourse on the subject matter.

1. An examination of the relationship between anxiety and body image.

In response to the question, "How can a 20-year-old girl who is anxious about her flat chest live her life to the fullest?" and "Now that I'm 20, I've never been in a relationship. Because I'm attractive, flat-chested, and even have no armpit hair, I always appear to be a young girl,"

"I am not comfortable with this identity. I have discovered my sexuality, but I am self-conscious about my physical appearance."

It is evident that the subject in question is experiencing a range of emotions that require further examination. What, then, are these emotions? It would appear that the subject has identified feelings of anxiety.

Nevertheless, this approach is insufficient for elucidating the nature of the emotions in question. Consequently, the questioner must undertake a more profound investigation into the emotional state in question.

For example, what other emotions are associated with anxiety?

In the event that one is uncertain as to the nomenclature of emotions, it is possible to conduct online research and maintain an emotional journal. This process facilitates the processing of emotions, the comprehension of their significance, and the attainment of a degree of self-healing.

With regard to body image anxiety, it is possible that appearance anxiety may also be a factor. In essence, these concerns can be attributed to an underlying issue with one's gender identity.

Given that you have been in counseling, you have the opportunity to discuss this matter in greater depth with your counselor. It is possible that you will receive the answers you seek and learn to accept yourself.

2. The topic of conflicts with parents in college is worthy of further discussion.

It can be argued that conflicts with our parents are an integral part of the maturation process, and therefore, inevitable and acceptable.

The crucial point is how one accepts and allows, and how one subsequently resolves the issue. This is a valuable lesson to practice.

It is not inherently frightening to experience conflict with one's parents, nor is it inherently problematic for such conflicts to assume drastic forms. The primary issue lies in our reluctance to accept or allow these conflicts to arise, and our tendency to suppress them. Consequently, when they reach a point of uncontrollability, they manifest in an uncontrolled manner.

Therefore, it is imperative that we learn to accept, allow, and accept the natural occurrence of facts.

3. What is the recommended course of action?

In consideration of the entirety of the problem, it becomes evident that you are particularly susceptible to the words, actions, and emotions of your parents. This is evidenced by your mention in the question of being raised by your mother, which suggests that your relationship with her is highly integrated, lacking a sense of boundaries.

In such cases, it is necessary to permit the separation of the mother from the child in a symbiotic manner. The highly integrated mother-child relationship, which is also a symbiotic relationship, can result in the phenomenon of symbiotic strangulation, whereby one individual's body is compressed by the other's spirit.

This is a significant issue that requires urgent attention, as it is also highly dangerous.

Adult children are destined to learn the skills of coexistence and separation, as well as emotional differentiation, in their relationships with their parents. This is how they can live their own lives and take full responsibility for their own lives.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned responses prove beneficial to you. I extend my warmest regards to you and to the world at large.

Hello, my dear, I'm Coach Xinfan. Thank you for sharing your feelings, and I'm happy to discuss this topic with you.

From your words, I can sense that you are experiencing some self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-acceptance challenges as a result of your evolving views on sex.

As you have grown into adulthood, you have come to appreciate and please yourself more and more. Your understanding of sex has also evolved beyond the ideas instilled in you by your mother when you were young, and you have come to your own understanding of it, while also developing a desire for it.

I admire your courage and the progress you've made. These experiences reflect your desire for love and acceptance, as well as your pursuit of independence and autonomy.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to understand the public's attitude towards sex.

The topic of "sex" is influenced by our traditional thinking and education, and is often considered "obscure," "private," and even "dirty" and "unspeakable."

As you mentioned, when you were younger, your understanding of sex was largely shaped by your mother's influence and education, which may have involved some challenging aspects.

It is perhaps fair to say that we are all used to measuring a person or an event using our own values and standards. This seems to be particularly the case with sex, which is rooted in our upbringing, education and level of self-awareness.

It is perhaps fair to say that we are all used to measuring a person or an event using our own values and standards. This seems to apply as much to sex as to anything else, which we might say stems from our upbringing, education and level of self-awareness.

I feel this may be a judgmental response.

While judgment can be a helpful tool, it can also lead to rigidity and the formation of "limited beliefs." Fixation, which can be defined as a solidified obsession caused by limited cognition, can manifest as stubbornness or a "persevering belief."

It could be said that "fixation" has the potential to make life unfluid, distort relationships, and even destroy them.

If a person is fixed, it may limit their ability to perceive the world in a way that is open to new possibilities. A fixed person may lose the flexibility to adapt and grow, becoming rigid in their views and hindering communication in relationships. Once fixed, they may find it challenging to listen and understand the perspectives of others. To truly listen, it's essential to let go of any preconceived notions and embrace a more open mindset.

It could be said that a similar situation occurs with our understanding of sex. Due to the influence of fixed ideas and limited beliefs, we may inadvertently lose out on potential opportunities and choices, and our sense of personal space and autonomy may become constrained.

Through learning, you have gained the ability to understand yourself better and have come to recognize and affirm more aspects of yourself.

It might be helpful to consider things from a few different angles and look for a few different perspectives on the problem. This could help us see more truths about the problem and thus have more choices.

From the perspective of a mother, it could be said that the generation of her parents was somewhat conservative and perhaps less informed about matters of a sexual nature.

?2. About inferiority complex.

? 2. About inferiority complex.

It is natural to feel inferior at times, but this feeling is often a sign that we have the desire to improve and change. A certain degree of inferiority can serve as a motivating factor for personal growth, and it is important to recognize that there is no need to reject our own inferiority.

It's possible that your feelings of inferiority and anxiety about your figure may be related to a lack of self-perception, self-affirmation, or self-acceptance.

I believe that confidence is about having faith in yourself as a person and being confident about the future. I am a very good singer, but I don't look the part, and I don't let that stop me from pursuing my passion.

It could be said that confidence stems from a positive sense of self-worth.

Self-worth is a subjective evaluation of oneself, not influenced by external factors such as the opinions of others, material possessions, or external situations. However, during our formative years, we may have experienced rejection, criticism, or blame from those who held significant influence in our lives, such as our parents. Over time, these experiences can shape our internal perception of ourselves.

Self-worth is a subjective evaluation of oneself, not influenced by external factors. However, when we were young, we may have experienced rejection, criticism, or blame from those who mattered most to us, like our parents. Over time, these experiences can shape our internal perception of ourselves.

People with a low sense of self-worth may be more susceptible to external influences. A glance from someone else or a negative comment could potentially lead to feelings of sadness or depression.

People with low self-esteem may find themselves lacking in certain ways, which can lead them to rely on external sources for guidance.

It is often the case that we seek external, material, and other people's evaluations in order to fill the emptiness inside. However, this can sometimes result in a loss of what we want. It may therefore be helpful to consider cultivating inwardly, enhancing a sense of value, and practising self-affirmation and self-acceptance. This could enable us to love ourselves and others better.

It may be helpful to consider transforming external pursuits into internal cultivation and achieving self-growth through learning.

You may find it helpful to read "Low Self-Esteem and Transcendence" and "The Courage to Be Disliked."

If I might suggest a way to achieve inner cultivation, it would be to:

1. It would be beneficial to start by remaining aware.

It might be helpful to consider whether your pattern is optimistic or pessimistic, whether you tend to complain or be grateful, whether you attribute your experiences to internal or external causes, and whether you seek external or internal improvement.

2. Many people are accustomed to fulfilling their desires or avoiding their inner fears through the pursuit of material things, money, power, and reputation.

If I may suggest, perhaps it would be beneficial to take a moment to face and transcend your desires and fears through meditation and other methods.

3. Psychotherapy can be a helpful way to heal yourself.

It is not uncommon for fear to be a misperception. The lack of love caused by the trauma experienced during growth can often lead to greed. In order to satisfy these desires, one may have to work hard to get what they want from the outside world. All of this can become an obsession within the heart. Once these obsessions are healed, one can live freely.

You may find it helpful to read "The Bond of Motherly Love" and my article "It Turns Out That the Root Cause of Psychological Problems Is It."

It is my sincere hope that the above will be of some help to you. I also wish to express my love for you and for the world.

It is my sincere hope that the above will prove helpful to you. The world and I send you our love and best wishes.

If you would like to continue communicating, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

If you would like to continue communicating, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello!

I'm so excited to talk to you about how to live your life to the fullest! It's clear from your description that you've taken the initiative to seek psychological counseling and come here to ask your question. You've described your feelings and psychological state so clearly. My dear, you are very brave and you are also very good. I applaud you!

Bao, after reading your long description, I think I've figured it out! The problem isn't whether or not the external secondary sexual characteristics are obvious. The key is whether you can slowly explore and understand yourself through continuous inner growth, regain self-awareness, slowly heal the inner wounds, unwind from your family of origin, and reconcile with yourself. Then you can freely choose the life you want!

? Embrace reality and accept it!

I believe you have already begun to understand a lot of this through counseling! There is also the way you interact with your parents, which you mentioned, that is, "parasitism," which is a dependence and symbiosis in psychology. Here is a reality that you have to admit—you and your mother were once one, and she has deeply influenced the way you view the world now.

Then, if you want to change this reality, you need to start developing your awareness and inner strength! You have the power to gain your own strength and break free from your mother's restrictions. You can live your life with a new perspective! This is something we can all do, and it's an exciting journey.

? Learn to be an "observer" of your daily life, and observe your own actions and thoughts.

This is what psychology calls "perception" and "awareness." In your daily life, you can observe which part of your behavior is more like your mother's. "Oh, so this is how I used to look at things!" Then remember, don't judge it—it's just a behavior! There is no good or bad.

Then, get ready to try other methods to experience this different behavior and the different feedback it brings you!

And finally, the most important thing of all: learn to accept yourself unconditionally!

Accepting reality is a great way to live! It means acknowledging reality and accepting all the possible negative consequences it may bring. In this way, the problem stops here and doesn't continue to create new problems and troubles due to resistance and non-acceptance of reality!

And there's more! We're already in college and away from our parents!

No one can blame us for being wrong for a long time (¬㉨¬) because we have so much time to try new things and make our lives fulfilling!

Finally, there's another way to change your emotions! It's called rational emotive therapy. It's a way of changing the way you think about things so you can gradually accept them. Let me give you an example. If something makes you very unhappy, ask yourself what it made you feel and what made your emotions become depressed.

And now for the best part! We can think about how to take care of our emotions and do things that make us happy.

I really hope my answer is helpful to you! The world and I love you!

Hello!

It's great that you're aware of the repression of sexuality and desire. It's a big step to seek advice and explore yourself. It's a courageous step towards becoming yourself.

And as you've grown up, it seems like you've developed some issues with the part of yourself that's a little girl. It's as if that little girl is holding you back from becoming who you want to be.

The psychological and physical development of women goes through the stage of female identity, which comes from yearning for and learning from mature women. But more importantly, it comes from identifying with the "female identity." I can see that you long for growth and yearn for the image of a mature woman. However, it seems to be accompanied by some denial, including a rejection of the current girl part of you, as well as a rejection of your own mother. As you said, you even reject women. These have created some internal conflicts.

The term "female identity" encompasses more than just sexual characteristics. It also includes an individual's inner qualities and the feminine aspects that are unique to girls. A woman's appearance is not solely defined by having full breasts. A slender and petite figure can also be a form of feminine beauty.

"Living your own life" means knowing, understanding, and accepting yourself. It's great that you're seeking counseling and becoming aware of your own inhibitions. By constantly challenging your preconceived notions and restrictions, you'll become more confident and mature!

Dear girl, I just wanted to say thank you so much for being willing to share your own experiences and feelings. I truly believe that when you realize what the problem is, you've already solved it by a large extent!

⭕️ Problem: repressed desires, misogynistic sentiments, anxiety about having small breasts, inability to live one's true self

⭕️ Analysis: The questioner has done a great job of reflecting on their own experiences. It's clear that their views on gender relationships have been shaped by their early interactions with their parents. As we grow and develop, we gain a sense of independence and learn to think critically. Our exposure to the world around us broadens our horizons, and we begin to question the authority of our parents and realize that what they say isn't always entirely correct. This can be a confusing and anxiety-inducing time.

I'm happy to help with some tips for the questioner!

1. It's time to focus your attention on yourself, not your parents. You're already 20 years old, so it's important to believe in your own ability to be independent and make your own judgments. Parents are no longer the authority; you are your own authority. No one knows you better than you do, so it's essential to always pay attention to your physical and psychological feelings, accept them, and try to satisfy them. This is an important step in nurturing yourself.

2. It's also true that physical release can bring psychological release. So, why not try releasing yourself from small things, such as singing loudly, dancing (you can release yourself by dancing alone), or learning to put on makeup?

It's so important to remember that psychological repression of sex will definitely lead to physical repression.

3. Build self-confidence! We all have our own unique qualities, and that's what makes us special.

In your everyday life, you'll see that even if someone isn't the most attractive, they can still be confident, smile a lot, and treat people gently. We're naturally drawn to that! But then there are people who are very attractive at first glance, but their words and actions are just not for us. That's okay! We all have different preferences. What matters is being true to yourself and being confident in who you are. And that's a great advantage! So, smile sweetly!

It's so important to focus on our strengths and let go of the things we can't change. When we do that, we can find peace and happiness. If you take a step back and look at things from a different perspective, you'll see that you're already amazing and the world is a beautiful place.

I hope you have a wonderful day, and that you feel relaxed and happy!