abdl likes to wear diapers and is confused about his sexual orientation

Hello, I'm a Heart Exploration coach. Everything is easy. You like to wear diapers and are confused about your sexual orientation.

You are a boy who has had a difficult relationship with his classmates since childhood, has little communication with his parents, and has wanted to wear diapers since elementary school. You feel uncomfortable when you are not wearing diapers. Imagine the scene of wearing diapers and changing them.

You buy and wear them, get wet, and masturbate. You feel great remorse and take them off.

You still have this fetish. You wear diapers once or twice a week, with a preference for children's pull-ups and briefs. You have never watched an adult video and are confused about your sexual orientation.

You worry that having a girlfriend will make it hard to maintain a normal relationship. Should you tell her about this secret? Can this fetish be changed, or should you just accept yourself? I'll try to answer your questions.

1. Your inner conflicts

The questioner has an obsessive attachment to diapers. They can satisfy sexual fantasies and obtain sexual satisfaction from them.

However, you feel guilty after every sexual act because you feel it is wrong. You have conflicts between your instincts and your morals.

You worry that your love for diapers will affect your relationship, that your sexual orientation is wrong, and that your partner will not accept you.

You can't change your behavior or accept it. You're also worried about how it will affect your social relationships. These are the conflicting thoughts in your mind.

2. Fetish and emotional connection

The questioner should go to a local hospital for a mental health exam to see if they have depression or anxiety.

The problem started in elementary school and has lasted a long time. It's probably because you didn't get enough love from your family. You felt loved through the diapers, so you became attached to them.

Diapers are associated with love and warmth. You have given them special meaning and developed strong emotions.

The questioner can remember the first time this happened and why they've kept it up. This behavior meets your physical and mental needs.

3. Sexual orientation and social development

The questioner can get help from a counselor.

Can you get sexual satisfaction from normal men and women?

If you have sexual urges and emotional needs, your heterosexual orientation will not be affected.

The questioner is single now, and your behavior hasn't affected your life much. If you fall in love, get married, and have kids in the future, you'll need to be honest with each other. You can decide whether to change and accept it based on your situation, but you should respect the other person's wishes.

There's a reason for fetishistic behavior. If you find a better way to show love and warmth, the problem may go away.

Develop relationships, learn communication skills, read books on psychology, and you will grow.

Click below to find a coach to interpret, choose a heart exploration to chat with me, and communicate with me one-on-one. I hope you get rid of your troubles soon. Good luck!

Hello.

I commend you for your self-awareness and courage in analyzing your behavior. Setbacks are a natural part of growing up, and it's likely that the ones you faced were more intense and prolonged. Let's examine our behavior from a psychological perspective.

[Fixation]

Freud's theory is clear: if a certain stage of psychosexual development is overly satisfied or frustrated, it will lead to fixation, which will prevent normal progression to the next stage of psychosexual development. Fixation refers to the degree to which a stimulus is maintained or a psychological pattern or thinking characteristic is repeated.

Freud was certain that personality is shaped by psychological energy, or libido. He believed that children must face challenges or crises as they progress through each psychosexual stage. Unfortunately, a small amount of libido is consumed in resolving these crises at each stage.

However, for most people, there is still enough mental energy to control adult personality. However, sometimes children encounter a particular traumatic experience or over-satisfaction at a certain stage, which can lead to a large consumption or retention of libido.

As a result, the self lacks the energy to sustain normal adult mental functions. Such adults will exhibit the characteristics of that early stage when energy is fixed.

The questioner describes a lack of immunization against the stimulation caused by wearing diapers and the warm feeling after wetting. This indicates a special traumatic experience during the anal desire period at the age of one or two, which resulted in a failed transition to the genital period. The questioner's parents and their parenting style are unknown, but it's likely that they were overly strict.

In his book, The Ladder to Heaven, child psychiatrist Winnicott provides a comprehensive list of children who have suffered emotional trauma and abuse in childhood. He also explains how these painful experiences have affected the development of neurons in their brains. It is clear that even if some children have not experienced obvious, sudden trauma, long-term stress (such as poverty) can also cause irreversible harm to children.

The questioner himself has noticed that due to long-term masturbation, his physical development is thinner than normal. This raises concerns about other hidden dangers to his physical health, such as feeling tired easily, memory loss, poor sleep quality, poor immunity, and so on. With this physical fitness, it is clear that falling in love, getting married, and having children will be problematic. The ancients said: If you can learn the truth in the morning, you can die in the evening.

You must quit masturbation to live a healthy and happy life. This habit is closely related to your psychological trauma, so sheer force of will won't work. You need professional help, including from a local psychiatric department. Some addictive behaviors need medication.

[A proper attitude towards trauma]

From the questioner's description, it is clear that he is still a kind person. He has never watched an adult video, which confirms that he is fixated on anal desire and has not entered the genital stage. This has nothing to do with sexual orientation, so there is no need to doubt it.

However, in this situation, trying to enter an intimate relationship may cause secondary psychological trauma because love is not just about satisfying sexual desire. If you do fall in love, honesty with each other as the relationship deepens and trust is established is the foundation of a stable relationship.

The questioner should seek psychological treatment as soon as possible. This will make it easier for him to navigate the road to love when he meets a girl he likes.

The author of The Neglected Child states, "There is no perfect childhood in this world, nor are there perfect parents." The questioner has no reason to resent their parents for the way they were raised. When we are in the depths of pain, we can appreciate how strong the desire to change is. Psychotherapy and the establishment of healthy sexual and attachment relationships allow us to cut off the intergenerational transmission of "unhappiness."

Everyone has quirks. As long as they don't violate social morality or the law and don't endanger society, there's nothing to condemn. You're right: the first step is to accept yourself and your special experience and hobby. Don't blame yourself, seek treatment and change, and believe you can lead a healthy and happy life.

I am a psychological counselor, Zhang Huili, and I am confident my answer will help you. I am certain you will recover quickly.

Hello! As long as your behavior doesn't hurt anyone, you don't need to worry too much about it.

First of all, sexual orientation is something you're born with and has nothing to do with what you do later in life. So, no matter what your orientation is, just accept it, my friend.

It's totally normal to not know if you're gay or straight. You'll only really know once you've had a chance to live your life and feel attracted to and pleasure from people of the same or opposite sex. For now, just accept that you're you!

Secondly, wearing diapers is just a personal preference. It doesn't affect anyone else, so if you feel more comfortable in them, then go for it!

Just be careful to avoid other people, because there are bound to be a lot of people who will be surprised and confused by your behavior. This may cause you trouble, but don't worry, it'll all be ok!

Again, if you have a girlfriend, it's a great idea to tell her. There's no right or wrong answer when it comes to knowing if it's coming or telling your girlfriend about this habit.

It really depends on how well you know your girlfriend. If she is open-minded, she will definitely be more accepting, but if she is not, she may not be.

As we've already chatted about, this just means you need to steer clear of it for now. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, it's totally fine to have your own little secret!

And who knows, maybe as you get a girlfriend, your current behavior will disappear!

Finally, masturbation is also a normal behavior and there is no need to worry about it. You mentioned masturbation twice, so I think you still have some concerns about this behavior. Don't worry! Occasionally masturbating will definitely not have any effect. But if you masturbate frequently, it will affect your physical health, just like having frequent sex, which will also affect your physical health.

I really hope my sharing can help you in some way.

Hello! I'm Jia Ao. I'm not looking for anything.

You said you didn't get along with your classmates when you were young, you had little communication with your parents, you weren't hugged much, and then you discovered you really wanted to wear diapers. You felt uncomfortable without them, but you couldn't afford to buy any because you didn't have any change. Now that you're an adult, you still really like them. They make you feel warm and comfortable, and you wear them twice a week. But you don't reject interacting with the opposite sex. You're just worried about whether you'll get along with her. You don't know if you should tell her this secret, and you don't know if you can change this preference of yours. What should you do?

I understand your dilemma. This seems strange to others, and I understand your unhappiness as a child. You've always looked for warmth and comfort. If you find it, you can just be yourself. This advice might help.

Let's chat.

1. Accept yourself.

There are many different preferences in the world. Your preference is just one of them. If it is not hurting anyone, there is no problem. Relax, listen to your heart, and accept yourself.

2. Be open-minded.

It's just a preference that doesn't affect others. Since it's something you like, why care? Life is not easy, and who doesn't need a way to relieve stress?

There are all kinds of ways to live your life. Just be yourself and let other people talk!

3. Love what you love.

As for your future relationship problems, including your worries, people are open nowadays. If a girl likes you, she won't care about your quirk. She'll accept you. Someone who loves you accepts you, and anything is possible.

4. A strong heart

The problem you are having should be your choice. If it is not hurting you or anyone else, it is fine. You should take care of yourself. Don't worry too much. Relax and everything will be fine. I wish you the best!

I hope my answer helps. Love,

Greetings, question asker. My name is Evan.

From the author's own description, it can be seen that the author seems to have a special emotional attachment to diapers, and that diapers seem to evoke a distinct emotional response. This raises the question of the origin of this kind of behavior.

It seems plausible to suggest that during the 3-year-old Oedipus period, the parents were unable to adequately address the questioner's separation anxiety or to provide sufficient care for the questioner following the cessation of nappy use. This may have resulted in the questioner forming a unique attachment to nappies. It is possible that this attachment is, in fact, an emotional attachment to that specific period of time.

When presented with a male infant in diapers, the questioner may experience a physiological reaction and feelings of excitement. Could this be a compensatory satisfaction for a lack of satisfaction during the period when the questioner required diapers? During this period, a child's first sexual desire develops, as does the Oedipus complex. If the questioner experienced some form of hurt or trauma during this period, or if their emotional development was not adequately addressed, this could contribute to a fixation on a particular object or attachment to something during this period.

The frigid relationship between the questioner and his parents also indicates that the questioner did not receive adequate feedback from his parents regarding his emotional needs during that period. It is essential for the questioner to carefully examine this aspect of his background. If the questioner desires to compensate for this period of emotional deprivation through self-fulfillment, it is undoubtedly a challenging endeavor.

It is not implausible that the questioner may wish to establish a new intimate relationship in order to compensate for the aforementioned period of emotional deprivation.

In regard to the manner in which one might address their emotional state, the following suggestions are offered:

It is essential to accept oneself as one is.

It is a normal phenomenon to confront one's own inner desires and to harbor negative sentiments toward a particular fetish complex. It is also a normal phenomenon for the questioner to imagine that, during their period of needing diapers, they were not adequately satisfied by their parents, which subsequently led to an obsessive emotional response to diapers.

It is therefore important not to dwell on these feelings of sadness. Instead, it is helpful to recognise that these emotions are a result of the intimate relationship that was experienced during childhood. Only by accepting one's current state can an individual truly understand their innermost desires. If one resists being who they truly are, it is unlikely that they will ever truly find what they truly want inside, namely the kind of care and attention from their parents that they craved during childhood.

It is important to be mindful of one's internal monologue.

It is important to consider whether the questioner has ever paid attention to the true voice within themselves. These thoughts in the mind may have a positive or negative effect on physical and mental health.

What thoughts are impeding the questioner's desire? The questioner desires intimacy, yet their body remains fixated on the diapers. What is the body communicating to the questioner?

In the event of an adverse physiological reaction, it is advisable to seek calm and to listen carefully to one's internal voice. What is the rationale behind the intense preoccupation with the topic of diapers?

Additionally, it is important to avoid excessive self-criticism. The influence of parents on the questioner can sometimes result in the questioner attributing their own shortcomings to personal blame. This can lead to negative emotional states, a lack of motivation, and diminished expectations for the future.

It is recommended that the individual engage in a daily practice of self-reflection, wherein they identify three positive attributes about themselves. This exercise has been shown to enhance self-confidence and mitigate the influence of self-doubting thoughts.

For example, one might posit that the subject in question deserves to be loved, is capable of loving others, and deserves more love.

It is important to pay attention to external situations.

The questioner can observe which circumstances elicit a physiological response. Does the presence of a boy in diapers or a naked boy elicit a response, or is the diaper itself the source of the reaction?

It is important to ascertain whether these situations that elicit a response from the questioner result in feelings of pressure or embarrassment. At this juncture, it may be beneficial for the questioner to engage in a visualization exercise, wherein they imagine the sense of satisfaction they experienced during their own childhood, when they wore diapers. This exercise has the potential to calm the questioner's current mood.

In the event that these circumstances elicit an uncomfortable response, it is advisable to either avoid them or re-enter the situation once a state of composure has been achieved. To illustrate, if the questioner experiences a reaction to the boy wearing a diaper, it may be beneficial to utilize an excuse to leave and engage in an activity that demands their undivided attention.

It is not necessary to deliberately suppress or avoid oneself; rather, one should simply distract oneself from one's current state of mind by engaging in an alternative activity.

It is recommended that individuals practice expressing their needs in an effective manner. This may initially feel uncomfortable, but as needs are effectively expressed, confidence will increase.

It is important to be mindful of one's own verbal habits.

It is common for individuals to express negative emotions when confronted with challenging circumstances. These emotions may manifest as statements such as "I'm so annoyed," "I might as well die," or "I messed up again today." Such expressions reflect a tendency to exaggerate and externalize emotions, which can perpetuate a negative outlook.

Frequently, the mantra also mirrors the subconscious thoughts of the questioner. Paying attention to one's own mantra can assist in comprehending one's inner thoughts.

It is recommended that the questioner avoid the use of such words. In order to facilitate a positive shift in perspective, it is advised to replace negative words with positive thoughts and affirmations. For instance, "terrible" can be replaced with "unfavorable" or "there is still room for improvement," while "disaster" can be replaced with "challenge" or "inconvenience."

It is recommended that the questioner seek psychological assistance.

The questioner's preoccupation with specific matters profoundly impacts the questioner. In the event that the questioner believes that their upbringing has influenced them and precipitated significant discord in their intimate relationships, they may wish to consult with a qualified psychological counselor or other practitioner. These professionals can assist the questioner in confronting their adverse emotions. Prior to seeking counsel, it is advisable for the questioner to ascertain the reputation of the practitioner in question to avoid further distress.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to the questioner.