An 18-year-old high school girl, what should she do when her parents oppose her relationship with another girl?

Give a hug to the one who's caught in a dilemma, my friend.

First of all, I think it's really important for you to be able to distinguish between friendship and love, or at least try to distinguish between these feelings.

I read what you wrote, and your parents saw it and didn't approve, so they told you not to have such thoughts.

It's totally normal to feel like you can't control yourself because your parents don't let you think this way. It's also totally understandable to feel like you are gay and even more reluctant to talk to boys.

The relationship between two people of the same sex can be really lovely. It's often even better than a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's a close friendship. It's also important to figure out whether it's a super friendship or love between two people of the same sex.

There are so many different ways to define love, but the three most important things are intimacy, passion, and commitment.

When you're ready to take the plunge and start this relationship, I'm sure you've already got a lot of things in place for your future. Your studies, your work, your knowledge base, your ability to be independent and excel.

After all, it is a forbidden love, and the one who gives will definitely have to put in more than the usual. I just want to check in with you and make sure you're prepared for that.

Don't let other people's disapproval get you down. It's not your fault! It's just a difference in perception due to the era, knowledge, social relationships, and his cognitive perspective. So don't worry, just be tolerant of each other.

And remember, there's no need to rush to judge whether you are or not. These things are not a big deal. Let him take his time and let things settle down, and you'll know whether you are gay or not.

But before you do, I'd love for you to help me prepare materially for being gay.

And finally, I wish you all the happiness in the world!

You're an adult now, but you're not quite there yet in terms of being completely independent from your parents. You still need their help to survive, so they might not always agree with everything you do that doesn't align with their values.

It's possible that because the proportion of same-sex relationships is even lower, around 5%, they feel that the minority should not be like this, should not become a minority. Or perhaps their parents think that you should not do such things and do not want you to suffer more grievances and discrimination in the future.

It's so sad to see some of the violent online comments that people write. Those trolls can argue with the sky and the earth, and it can make us feel really uncomfortable and even cause us trauma. You're such a great high school girl, and your main task right now is to study hard.

As for falling in love with a girl, that's your choice, but try to make sure you're spending your time and energy in the right way. It's probably best not to be in a relationship all the time or to tell your parents too much, because they might not be ready to understand and support you.

It's totally normal to not be interested in the opposite sex at this age. You'll probably start to figure out what you like and don't like as you get older. It's like a kind of "preference." We only have one life, so it's really important to be able to find your own preferences. Parents' prohibitions may also become a kind of "Romeo and Juliet effect" that fuels the fire, that is, the more you forbid, the more you want. It is recommended that parents still adopt an open-minded attitude, and you should also focus on your studies. Love should be experienced slowly and steadily, and you should first experience your own emotional changes. Good luck!

ZQ?

This is a challenging question to answer, as I am unable to fully empathize with your situation. However, I will endeavor to provide some guidance based on my understanding and experience.

Firstly, homosexuality, as a minority sexual orientation, is relatively uncommon but should be respected as a natural and free aspect of human sexuality.

Nevertheless, it is challenging for parents or other individuals to fully comprehend, let alone accept, this situation, particularly if it involves their own daughter. It is essential to recognize the complexities of familial relationships and the unique perspectives that parents bring to the table.

Secondly, it is important to note that you are only 18 years of age. Based on your statements, it appears that you have already had more than one same-sex romantic partner.

The phenomenon of same-sex attraction is influenced by a multitude of factors, including an individual's upbringing, family experiences, and even genetics. It is not feasible to determine whether a particular action is morally right or wrong, and it is premature to examine one's entire past. However, it is important to recognize that individuals are still developing and that even if they identify as heterosexual, they may not fully comprehend the nuances of love or the physiological aspects of sex.

Thirdly, it is unclear whether your current state and feelings align with a homosexual orientation. It is possible that your current attraction to females is merely a preference, rather than a sexual inclination, and that you have not yet fully explored the potential of heterosexuality.

It is therefore important not to form premature judgments or conclusions. The formation of habits can have a significant impact on an individual's future experiences, particularly if they are placed into a particular group, especially one that is perceived as a minority. Such a categorization can lead to a series of challenges in various aspects of life, including academic pursuits and professional endeavors.

It is recommended that you engage in a period of reflection regarding your current relationship status and feelings. It is advised that you refrain from making hasty decisions regarding your identity and that you consider the possibility of developing a relationship with a male classmate with whom you have a positive connection.

I recognize that my suggestions may seem unconventional and even radical, but I am genuinely invested in your well-being and believe that these recommendations could prove beneficial. I am optimistic that with time and effort, your situation will improve.

Personal public account: Qingnian JIA2020 (Pretentious Young People), looking forward to maintaining contact with you.

One Psychology Answering Questions Hall is a supportive community where the world and I love each other.

Hello classmate,

Hug you because you are depressed by your parents' lack of understanding of your feelings, and you will definitely have a hard time sleeping tonight.

Your story made me realize something important: love is simply the feeling of loving someone.

First of all, others may not understand, but you must know for yourself what you like, what you need, and what you choose. If you really like her and she really likes you, and you two are indispensable to each other in this relationship, then you are unswerving.

Your inner strength is unbreakable, even if there is opposition from outside forces.

If you're still unsure, you should reconsider the relationship. You're still in high school and haven't experienced society yet.

She's there for you when you're lonely and happy. You like her a lot, and before you know it, you're very dependent on her.

Second, in college student mental health education, there is a class called "Don't mistake friendship for love." I'm not denying your feelings, but you need to think about it from another perspective to be clearer about your feelings.

I am certain you will understand yourself better.

Ultimately, when faced with a lack of understanding from family members, it's crucial to recognize that we and our parents inhabit different eras, with distinct thoughts and experiences.

They can't accept this, so I'll have to take the initiative. As a high school student, there is no way to exist outside of the family, so you can only compromise with your parents first. We have to accept that their way of thinking and perspective on issues is different from ours. This is a problem of the times, but they still care about you and love you very much.

The college entrance exam is coming up soon, so don't let these emotions affect your preparations. You will succeed in your studies and choose what you want to do in the future, make yourself happy, and put your parents at ease.

Hello, high school student. You're in a wonderful time in your life!

You say your parents don't approve of your relationship with a same-sex partner and keep a close eye on your contact with girls.

They are not controlling you or making you feel unfree. They may not accept the fact that you are gay, and you may feel that they don't understand you.

From my experience as a parent, there are a few reasons why parents may act this way.

1. You are still in high school, and they are worried that your love life will affect your studies and have a negative impact on your future.

2. Parents still see homosexuality as an unaccepted sexual orientation. Your parents probably feel the same.

3. It is normal to want society to be more accepting of homosexuality, especially your parents' recognition and acceptance, so that everyone can be happy.

4. Think about the future. You will be able to support yourself and have more freedom of choice if you study hard now and continue your education in the future. If your parents still object, you can reassure them while living your own life with your lover.

Your parents' worry is a sign of their love and concern for you. Despite the discomfort, you can be confident that their love for you is genuine.

It's normal to have emotions at your age. Love is a wonderful feeling, whether you're gay or straight.

You must strengthen your abilities to make more good things continue. This is the only way to pave the way for the future.

You will be able to handle it with time.

Hello, question asker!

Your sexual orientation is shaped by your upbringing in your family of origin. It develops from the oral stage to the genital stage and then to external stimuli, including men's infidelity, which repels you from men. For example, your mother's complaints about your husband influence your sexual orientation. There are three aspects that shape your sexual orientation: family environment, online information, and psychological perception. This is beyond reproach. The recognition and tolerance of homosexuality also differ in social and cultural backgrounds. Places with a strong cultural atmosphere, densely populated places, and avant-garde thinking are more accepting and tolerant of homosexuality. However, due to China's national conditions and the concept of reproduction over thousands of years, people's tolerance of homosexuality is extremely low. Therefore, homosexuality is considered to be an abnormal manifestation of sexual orientation and is suppressed by the public. Starting from this cultural background, it is understandable that your parents would stop you from doing this.

You're facing a conflict between your own inner needs and your parents' disapproval of same-sex relationships. How do you find a balance between the two? It's also about how to deal with the constraints of your inner needs and external rules.

How can you convince yourself cognitively?

We can't make choices for you, but we can work through your emotions and inner needs together. And sexual orientation can change.

Don't put pressure on yourself. Normalize the situation, follow your heart, and if there are conflicting issues that can't be resolved right now, just set them aside and deal with them when you can.

For now, focus on your studies and aim to get into a good university. You know, knowledge really can change your fate. With a different perspective, you might even have a different opinion on this matter. If your sexual orientation remains unchanged, and you are also capable of handling your own affairs better, you'll be just fine, right?

If you agree with me, focus on learning, set aside controversial topics, and make yourself stronger, more capable, better, and more confident. The higher your position, the broader your horizons. By then, you'll be in a position to decide what to do.

I'm here to guide you, and I love you.

Good day. I extend my support and encouragement to you.

From your brief question, I can ascertain that you are a courageous individual. It is commendable that you are unafraid to associate with people of the same sex and to inquire about this matter.

Your parents have not permitted you to consider this option, but you are unable to refrain from doing so. You are experiencing feelings of anger and injustice. You are unsure of the appropriate course of action.

I would like to take this opportunity to share my views.

First and foremost, the environment in which parents were raised and the moral values they accepted make it challenging for them to accept same-sex love.

In the past, same-sex relationships were not permitted, even if only considered.

This is an unavoidable consequence of their upbringing. Consequently, they will instill similar values in their children.

Secondly, parents are likely aware that same-sex relationships are not widely accepted in the general public, particularly in the context of the current mainstream Chinese mindset.

It will undoubtedly be a challenging journey, and they will undoubtedly have concerns about your future and the potential rumors and criticisms you may encounter along the way.

I recall responding to a comparable inquiry on Yixinli some time ago, posed by a mother. I advised that the issue is not an inability to accept homosexuality, but rather an inability to accept one's child being gay.

This mother is convinced that this is her genuine opinion.

Consider this scenario: If your neighbor's child were to experience same-sex love, would your parents be concerned? It's unlikely they would be, and they might even advise the neighbors to refrain from interfering excessively with their child.

However, if such an incident were to occur to you or your child, I believe that any parent who loves their child would naturally be concerned for their wellbeing.

Even in relatively open countries like the United States and Europe, the act of "coming out" is a matter that requires caution, as there is social discrimination. For example, some individuals hold anti-gay views and discriminate against LGBT people. There is little that can be done about this, as it runs counter to the heterosexuality that is necessary for the survival of the human race.

Therefore, parents may be concerned that your chosen path will be challenging. They may also experience feelings of shame. This is unavoidable given that people are social creatures, and we all interact with others in various social contexts.

This means that we cannot afford to ignore the opinions of others.

Given your upbringing in an era of individualism, you are likely to embrace individuality and be less influenced by external opinions. In essence, you believe you have the autonomy to make decisions without external input.

It is understandable that you may not comprehend why I cannot be my own master.

It is important to note that we do not operate in isolation; rather, we interact with and are influenced by others. It is therefore essential to consider the opinions of those around us. However, it is also possible to disregard the opinions of others, provided that one is internally consistent.

In essence, self-coherence entails a sense of personal integrity and autonomy. It signifies a willingness to embrace one's own identity and actions without undue influence or external pressure. At the same time, it allows for a clear boundary between one's personal beliefs and expectations and the external validation or recognition sought from others.

It requires courage to be in the minority in society. It is often perceived as safer to align with the majority, and not everyone who desires to stand out is able to do so.

Chinese social morality and customs are generally quite conservative. For further information, please refer to the reports on same-sex wives, which are available for review. The number is quite significant.

The rationale is straightforward. From a male perspective, the dual pressures of parental expectations for an heir and personal social image often necessitate the pretense of heterosexual marriage. However, sexual orientation is an inherent aspect of identity that cannot be altered. Consequently, women in such marriages often become victims of circumstances beyond their control.

As a middle school student, you want to be yourself while also seeking approval from others. I commend your courage in pursuing your authentic self, but I must advise against your current actions.

The current social environment is not yet sufficiently tolerant to accommodate acceptance of same-sex love. While there has been notable progress, the process of changing customs and perceptions is a lengthy one.

I must respectfully disagree with your assertion that you should go against the whole society on your own.

You are, of course, at liberty to express your same-sex love, but please do so discreetly and do not expect recognition from others. After all, no one else is obliged to do so.

As I have gained more life experience, I have become more accepting of the prevailing moral values in society. While there are still many aspects of these values with which I disagree, I do not challenge them or engage in debate.

I will also agree with the assertion that the sun rises in the west.

I am unsure if you fully comprehend the situation, but I am providing you with the relevant information regardless. It is important to understand your parents' perspective and to respect their views. You are entitled to hold your own beliefs, but it is not reasonable to expect approval from others or to challenge societal norms. Your priority should be your studies.

I am a licensed psychological counselor with a fluctuating outlook on life, oscillating between periods of depression and optimism.

Hello, classmate. I can see you're feeling a bit confused right now. I'm here to offer you a warm hug and some gentle guidance.

It seems you may be experiencing some relationship difficulties. I'm here to offer you a warm hug and support.

It is understandable that your parents may feel a certain level of discomfort when they see you with another girl, as they have a traditional view of relationships. However, it is important to remember that you are an individual with your own preferences and that your relationship should not be defined by their expectations.

It is also worth noting that you are currently in adolescence, a time of great psychological and physical changes.

It's possible that what you're experiencing is same-sex attraction, rather than homosexuality.

Additionally, your parents are concerned that your current romantic involvement may impact your academic performance.

After all, you are currently a high school student, and you are about to take the college entrance exam. It is understandable that your parents want you to focus on your studies.

I would gently suggest that you focus your energy and time on preparing for the college entrance exam.

I would like to reassure you that it is never too late to start a relationship after you get into college.

I truly hope that you can find a solution to the problem you are facing soon.

If I may be so bold, I would like to suggest that perhaps these are the only things that I can think of at the moment.

I hope my answers above are helpful and inspiring to you, my fellow student. I am striving to be the answer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to the world and to you.