Is a relationship that starts from a desire to protect and sexual needs healthy? I don't know what to do.

Understanding emptiness and the void:

Online relationships like nude chat are unhealthy and disrespectful. They can hurt her and destroy trust and intimacy.

Good that you've realized the problem and stopped.

However, you said you've been chatting with other girls on social media, which is also bad for your relationship. This will make her distrust you.

Honesty, loyalty, and respect are important for a healthy relationship.

If you want to improve your relationship, I suggest you take the following steps:

Be honest with yourself. Admit the problem with your behavior and thinking. Be aware of the negative impact on your relationship with your girlfriend.

Think about why you flirt with other girls. You may need help.

Stop flirting with other girls. Protect your relationship by focusing on your girlfriend.

Talk to your girlfriend. Tell her how you feel. Listen to her. Work together to find a solution.

Build trust by showing loyalty and respect. It will take time, but you can do it if you want to improve the relationship.

Respect and care for each other, and support each other when facing difficulties. Handle the current situation and build a healthy, stable, and supportive relationship.

Hello! I'm so happy to be able to answer your question. I really hope some of my suggestions can help you.

You're in a good place right now. You're aware of what you want and you're ready to embrace a more positive outlook on life and the dating process. That's great! It's a wonderful thing to be able to look at things this way. You're on the right track. I'd highly recommend that you seek help from a psychological counselor offline to assist you in improving and sorting out a sound outlook on life and learning some healthy sexual knowledge.

It's so important to understand that there are three possibilities when it comes to falling in love or engaging in sexual behavior.

One is out of love. Love develops between two people, and intimacy is established.

As we go through this process, it's only natural that we'll engage in intimate behavior and even have sex because we like each other.

The second is curiosity about sex.

It's so important to have good sex education when we're growing up. If we don't get this, we can end up being really curious about sex. Even when we're physically developing, our bodies will go through some normal changes. When these changes happen at the same time as our curiosity about sex, it can lead to some pretty intense situations. These can be about sex, or they can be about socialising or getting along with other people.

And finally, the third is the least appropriate situation, which is simply having intercourse.

This part of the source of sexual behavior has several possibilities, as we've already discussed. It may start out of liking, or it may come from curiosity about sex. There is also the possibility of promiscuity, which is something we'll talk about later. Regardless of the situation, the starting point of sexual behavior is

This part of the process can be referenced to the Indian brothers. They can even have sex with animals! They are completely creatures that think with their lower bodies, and this includes us humans. Some groups of people, like the sea kings, are like this too.

So, here we are! We met on the Internet, which gave us a great chance to get to know each other better. We started off with just a first level of contact, and before we knew it, we were forming a mutual liking or dependence. It was a wonderful feeling! However, we both had some unhealthy perceptions and curiosity about love and sex, which made it a bit tricky.

As we get to know each other better, we start to move towards the second level, where socializing starts with sex, but also adds some factors from the first level. This is totally normal! We may be more inclined to focus on the sexual content in the mode of getting along, while less understanding is gained on the soul level.

You're ready to make a change, and I'm here to help! Let's take this chance to look at our views on marriage and love, as well as sex in a new light. We'll get a fresh, scientific understanding that will help us make positive changes.

Once we've made these adjustments, we can go back to our current relationship and think about whether we really have feelings of liking or love for this girl. It's also a good idea to talk about other topics during the relationship to understand each other better.

As time goes by, feelings will develop. It doesn't matter how we first met, whether it was online or as a sexual partner. What matters is the love that follows! If we really like each other and the other person likes us too, we shouldn't question each other or ourselves about our intentions. Just enjoy the relationship and the emotional companionship!

Now, let's talk about loyalty.

It's so important to understand our own views on loyalty in romantic or marital relationships, regardless of our motives or the process.

It's so important to recognize when we've crossed a line in our relationships. When we realize that we've been unfaithful, whether mentally or physically, it can feel really shameful. It's natural to think that what we did is wrong and that we shouldn't have done it. That's why it's so crucial to take a step back and assess what we need to do to make things right. It's not easy to admit when we've done something wrong, but it's so important to do so. We need to be honest with ourselves and with our partners. We need to communicate and work through our feelings. We need to show respect for our partners and for other people in our lives. It's okay to feel ashamed. It's okay to feel like you've done something wrong. It's okay to feel like you need to make things right. It's not okay to stay in a relationship that's causing you pain.

I really hope that through some self-reflection and the help of professionals, you can make some great improvements to your cognitive system. And I also hope that you can make some timely adjustments in your romantic relationship to help you understand each other better.

I love you, world! And I love you too!

Dear Question Asker, I have reviewed your question and the previous response from the teacher. I believe the teacher has already provided a comprehensive explanation, so I will not reiterate it here.

I would like to cite a quote from the film Lost in Translation: "Love is not about control and demands; it is about acceptance and respect."

Your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend exerted more control and demanded more from her in terms of sex and money. This led to feelings of disgust and discomfort, and she hopes you will show her more respect and acceptance. You previously discussed sex frequently. From her perspective, it's easy to perceive you as seeking a sexual partner, not a romantic one. This makes it simple for her to associate you with her ex-boyfriend.

Furthermore, your tendency to engage in ambiguous online conversations with various individuals, including your current romantic partner, indicates a lack of emotional fulfillment in your offline life. This desire to compensate for this deficiency through virtual interactions is a form of transference. Notably, you initially initiated contact with your current partner through online means.

Despite the duration of your relationship, the emotional void within you remains unfulfilled. The geographical distance between you and your partner has forced you to resort to online communication as a substitute for in-person interaction.

While the issue may appear to be a matter of love, the underlying cause is the emptiness of your emotional reservoir, which manifests as irrational behaviors. These behaviors, however, have not resolved the underlying issues but have merely exacerbated them.

From my personal experience, your situation may be related to some kind of deficiency in your early experiences in terms of relationships or intimacy. In order to resolve your relationship problems, it is essential to address this underlying issue. I recommend that you consider scheduling an appointment with a professional psychologist at the school's psychological counseling room.

Good day. I am pleased to see that you have requested assistance, and I hope that my input can provide you with the support and guidance you seek.

I commend you for your perceptiveness in recognizing your own state of mind, needs, and behavioral patterns in interactions with the opposite sex, as well as your decision to seek assistance.

For boys of this age, sexual desire is at its peak. It is therefore natural to allow and accept a great interest in sex, which is an instinctive need after physical development matures. In the absence of one's girlfriend, it is common to seek other members of the opposite sex to satisfy this part of one's legitimate physiological needs. When one feels guilty about this with one's girlfriend, one may attempt to restrain one's actions through one's own subjective efforts or try to respond and satisfy this part of one's needs in a better way.

As an example, you may wish to consider releasing some of the pressure by engaging in physical exercise, or you could choose to distract yourself by indulging in your interests and passions.

While the contact with your girlfriend is based on your response to and satisfaction of her needs as a member of the opposite sex, it is important to remember that she is also an adult with independent capabilities. The way you interact with each other, especially in a relationship, is something you both voluntarily agreed to. Additionally, you entered her life when she was emotionally hurt, which likely made her feel understood, considerate, accepted, cared for, protected, and loved to a large extent. Otherwise, she would not have kept in touch with you all this time.

To rephrase, initially, it may appear that you opted to be with her to fulfill your own objectives. However, this is also an unavoidable consequence of the evolution of your relationship. It is unnecessary to experience heightened remorse and guilt due to your clear intentions of spending time with your girlfriend.

Furthermore, you have consistently demonstrated respect for your girlfriend, particularly in her absence. Your feelings of guilt regarding your ambiguous interactions with other individuals on social media indicate that you value her, care for her, and respect her. It's evident that you're seeking a more effective approach to fulfill your genuine physical and emotional needs.

It is important to avoid labeling yourself as having questionable values or as a betrayer of your girlfriend. You may wish to consider discussing your true thoughts and feelings with your girlfriend. You may also find it helpful to record in writing your feelings about spending time with this girl over this period of time. This will assist you in better perceiving, experiencing, and processing your emotions over this period of time.

It would be beneficial to transfer the excitement and emotional satisfaction gained from maintaining an ambiguous relationship with the opposite sex to some of your passions and interests. When your life is sufficiently fulfilling, the sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, and pleasure you can gain from it will increase.

One option is to make a pact with your girlfriend that during this period of study apart, you will both devote more energy and time to studying, with the goal of bettering yourselves. During this period, you can maintain communication with each other. If, after graduation, you both still have feelings for each other and this period of living apart has not affected your relationship, you can then decide whether or not to get back together. Currently, neither of you is yet capable of taking responsibility for your future, and you are both uncertain about the future of each other's lives. What are your thoughts on this matter?

All expectations of a romantic partner are projections of our internal deficiencies and lack. We have not attempted to fulfill these expectations through our own learning and growth. Therefore, it is essential to take back the expectations of that part of your needs that you desire to be responded to and fulfilled by your romantic partner and give it to yourself through your own learning and growth.

I suggest you read "Will You Be Okay When You Grow Up?"

It's normal to want to protect her. Everyone wants to protect their loved ones. She craves protection because she has been hurt.

If you want to protect someone long-term, you have to be able to do it for a long time.

Online chatting can lead to misunderstandings. If you can, end the relationship and talk face-to-face. You may just be enjoying the thrill, not really like the girl. When you return to reality, you'll feel she's not as attractive.

You're a bit of a playboy. I hope you can restrain yourself.

If you want a stable relationship, you need to control your emotions. Many students learn about sex early, but you are still students. The most important task is to study. If you spend a lot of time on relationships, it may affect your studies. You can take care of your relationship when you have time after your studies.

You two have immature views on relationships. Many girls have been hurt in relationships and don't believe in love anymore. Treat people well. Don't force girls to do anything they don't want to do.

In a relationship, you need to give and work together to be happy.

Long-distance relationships are hard, but if you love each other, you can make it work. Best wishes.

1. Issues of values

You mentioned online nude chatting and flirtatious chat behavior, which are definitely not good for you. It's so important to be aware of this, and I'm here to help you with that.

I totally get it. I know how hard it is to deal with the guilt and ambivalence you're feeling.

First of all, I just want to say how well done you are for being aware of your own actions. It's a great first step to realise that your actions are problematic, and it shows you have the ability to reflect on yourself.

I want you to know that there's no fundamental problem with your values. You're doing the best you can in a difficult situation.

However, while you are aware of the problem, you find yourself stuck. The good news is that there is a way out of this dilemma and you can find inner balance again! All you need to do is take positive action and seek support and help.

I really think you should take some time for deep self-reflection and explore the root causes of these unhealthy behaviors. It would be so helpful for you to talk to a professional counselor. They can help you understand your inner needs and psychological state, and gradually break free from your predicament.

I totally get it. Guilt is totally normal. It's your moral judgment and sense of responsibility for your actions.

However, if you feel too guilty, it might get in the way of your growth and change. So, in this process, I encourage you to accept your past and focus on positive actions in the future.

2. Long-distance relationship analysis

It's so important to feel attached to someone and to want to protect them, especially in a relationship. These are natural emotions, but it's how we handle them and express them that matters.

For couples who are apart, it's important to remember that facing the challenges of time differences and distance requires a special approach.

First, let's chat about attachment and the desire to protect. Attachment just means that you crave an intimate connection with your girlfriend, which is totally normal!

It's also important to remember that your attachment in a long-distance relationship should be based on mutual respect and understanding, not control or oppression. Make sure your attachment is based on genuine concern, not on a desire to control her actions.

And remember, protecting your desire should also be expressed as caring for and supporting her, rather than restricting or interfering in her actions.

Secondly, it's so important to communicate openly when you're facing challenges because of time differences and distance. If you can establish a regular way of communicating, it'll help you stay in close contact.

Trust and support are also super important in this process! Try to understand your partner's situation and emotional needs, listen patiently to their thoughts and feelings, and offer support and encouragement.

And there's more! Finding common interests and activities can also strengthen the bond between you. Sharing a common passion, such as a movie, book, or sport, can enhance mutual understanding and emotional communication, thereby alleviating the loneliness and anxiety caused by being apart.

And finally, remember to stay positive! Long-distance relationships require more patience and trust, and both of you need to work together to overcome difficulties. You've got this!

It's so important to trust each other's feelings and commitment. Give each other lots of positive support and encouragement, and face challenges together as a team!

3. Some helpful tips for growth

It's totally normal to have feelings for your current girlfriend, but it's also okay to feel a little unstable. We all need to feel loved and protected, and it's great that you want to do that for her. But it's also okay to chat with other girls on social media in an ambiguous way, even if it makes you feel guilty. We've all been there!

It's time to take a deep breath and think about what you really want and need. Think about your responsibilities in the relationship and towards your partner.

First, it's really important to think about what your girlfriend needs from you. What kind of support and care does she need from you?

It's so important to think about whether you can take on these responsibilities. If you don't think you can, it might be best to consider breaking up with her to avoid causing her further harm.

Second, it's really important to think about what you need from this relationship. Are you just enjoying her company and wanting to protect her, rather than truly loving her?

It's great that you're interested in sex! It's just important to be clear whether you're willing to respect her thoughts and feelings in this regard. If there are huge differences in values between you, then your relationship may face some challenges.

Finally, it's really important to think about whether your actions are violating your girlfriend's trust and ethics. If you feel like these behaviors aren't right, it's time to stop and take responsibility for yourself.

It's so important to think carefully about your feelings and needs, and to respect your girlfriend's thoughts and feelings too. If there are huge differences in values between you, it might be time to take a step back and re-evaluate your relationship.

It's so important to take responsibility for yourself and be accountable for your actions.

I really hope you can stick with it. By changing your values and code of conduct, you can gradually create a healthy and respectful communication model.

Remember, you can change and grow! With determination and a willingness to seek support, you can move towards a more mature and healthy life path.

Good day.

From what you've shared, I can appreciate your perspective.

Regarding your question in the title, "Is a relationship that starts with protectiveness and sexual needs healthy?" it could be said that this relationship may not be as healthy as it could be.

Let's start by discussing the desire to protect. In a relationship, this desire can be an act of compassion. When it occurs, it can often result in one-sided devotion. This kind of behavior can develop in three different ways: 1. The person who wants to protect may end up devoting themselves entirely to the other person, which can result in the two parting ways. 2. The devotion may be momentary and driven by a feeling of compassion, which can be temporary. 3. The devotion may continue and sustain itself, which can make the person appear lowly in order to influence the other person. This approach may result in an enviable married life, but it can also lead to cracks in the relationship.

It would appear, then, that the probability of this relationship being healthy is less than 20%.

Secondly, you mentioned in your description that you both studied in Chengdu, but she later moved to Jiangsu and studied in Shanghai. Based on the description of the region, there might still be a chance for you both, but it might not be as stable as you hope. You and the other person are both students, and it's true that students nowadays are more mature. It's understandable that their understanding and demand for sex will be broken early out of curiosity.

It is worth noting that the other person's romantic experience involved a boyfriend who treated her poorly. While this was the norm for the first two or three months, it later transformed into a more problematic dynamic. Her ex-boyfriend, as she described it, treated her as an outlet for his desires and a human ATM machine. This kind of romantic process is not uncommon. In today's world, many people find inspiration in the protagonists of film and television dramas, particularly female students who may be less experienced in navigating love and, as a result, more vulnerable to deception. The description also suggests that the first three months are a normal phase, akin to bait in fishing. It is, therefore, important to consider whether treating someone poorly at the beginning will lead to a long-lasting relationship.

Perhaps if things had been done differently, she would not have encountered these issues afterwards. In this process, she is a person who has been hurt.

From a psychological standpoint to the physical and financial, she is the victim. In your description, you wrote that you wanted to protect her, so you added her on WeChat and chatted with her frequently. Later, you wanted to have a naked chat with her, and she was somewhat reluctant, but she agreed. You had known each other for less than two months and met because she moved house. You had sex, but later, whenever you talked to her about sex online, she became angry easily (in fact, when we had known each other for more than a month, she was very resistant). She said she didn't like it online. Here is a suggestion for you: If you want to have a long-term relationship with the other person, you should avoid sexual topics and topics such as borrowing money in your words as much as possible.

It is possible that he can have a relationship with you despite her resistance to sex. It could be that she doesn't dislike you; perhaps your actions or your image have impressed her. This is a positive sign. If you are unable to impress the other person, it may be challenging to sustain the relationship.

In your description, you wrote that you feel you don't have a crush on her, but that you want to protect her, that you don't want her to get hurt, and that you like her company. You also mentioned that you recently started chatting with some girls on social media (during the cold period with her, and now we're in frequent contact again). You feel that this is also a kind of cheating, but you find it very exciting. It seems that you don't feel in love in terms of emotional handling of the method. You have always maintained a sense of compassion. From another perspective, you have a certain desire for fantasy because of the other person's story. Your so-called behavior of wanting to protect and deal with it is more because of the inner desire pointed to by the psychologically-driven need for sex.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that you are still a child yourself, and that you don't feel any sense of responsibility for your love life or your emotions. This could be seen as acting recklessly. As long as you are not cheating on your partner, you won't feel any guilt.

It is understandable that you have had sex with the other person out of sympathy, and it is challenging for you to move on from it now. While staying together for three consecutive years might work, it is important to recognize that this long-distance relationship is complex and difficult to end.

I would like to make the following suggestion:

1. It might be helpful to face your emotions. If you really want the other person to talk about the future, it might take some time to maintain that.

2. If you feel this relationship may not be destined to last, you might consider hoping that she meets someone at school who truly likes her. That way, she can pursue her own romance, and you can find peace.

3. It is important to note that the need for psychological and sexual behavior is not necessarily a psychological problem. If this behavior is causing you to deviate from your usual thoughts and actions, it may be helpful to seek guidance from a mental health professional.

Please note that the above content is for reference only.

It's totally normal to have these feelings when a relationship is new. It's not necessarily unhealthy to have protectiveness and sexual needs at the beginning. The key is how the relationship develops and deepens.

It's so important to remember that emotional connection, mutual respect, trust, and communication are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. I'm here to help you sort things out and guide you on how to move forward.

1. Take some time to reflect on your feelings and motives.

Take a moment to think about what your feelings for your girlfriend are based on. Are they based on genuine love and care, or are they more about a desire to protect or a sexual interest?

A healthy relationship is all about mutual respect and a deep emotional connection.

It's always a good idea to take a look at your own behavior and see if it's in line with what you expect from a healthy relationship. If you notice any confusing or unclear behavior, it might be a sign that you're feeling unsatisfied or that there are some unmet needs in your current relationship. It's totally normal to feel this way, and it's definitely worth exploring the reasons behind it.

2. Let's work on improving communication!

It's so important to be open and honest with your girlfriend. Share your feelings, doubts, and concerns with her, and listen to her feelings and needs too.

Open and honest communication is a wonderful thing! It can help you build a deeper emotional connection and resolve any problems that may exist.

3. If you'd like some extra support, you can also check out professional psychological counseling.

It might be a good idea to think about seeing a counselor. They can help you understand your feelings and behaviors better, give you strategies to improve your outlook and behavior, and help you grow in your relationship.

4. Self-growth and self-reflection

It's so important to invest in your own personal growth! This could be anything from developing new interests to learning new skills or increasing your self-awareness. Self-growth not only boosts your self-confidence, it also makes you more mature and stable in a relationship.

5. Define and maintain boundaries.

It's so important to define and maintain healthy boundaries in any relationship. This includes identifying and respecting each other's needs and comfort zones, as well as avoiding behaviors that hurt the other person.

6. Building trust

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Work on building and maintaining trust by being honest about your thoughts and feelings, and respecting and trusting your partner.

It's totally normal for relationships to change and grow over time. You can help your relationship become even healthier and more fulfilling by taking the time to reflect on and improve.

And don't forget to care for and respect your own needs and feelings too!