What should I do if I don't like the feeling of being together and don't like my boyfriend anymore?

Dear Question Owner,

From the description provided, it can be inferred that the relationship-should-i-break-up-5591.html" target="_blank">boyfriend is experiencing a high level of anger regarding certain actions on the part of the girlfriend. Additionally, he may be experiencing regret over the expenditure of a significant amount of money on her. This may be perceived as a form of resentment, leading him to lash out in anger. Alternatively, it could be a result of his having other intentions or a proclivity for intimacy with other individuals. This is, however, merely a conjecture, as he may be attempting to avoid her scrutiny by preventing her from viewing his phone. He may also have other motives, such as the intention to separate from her without justification and to evade her discovery of his problems. Consequently, he may resort to expressing his anger in a hostile manner.

The preceding represents a mere speculation on my part.

It is this author's personal opinion that:

[1] It is recommended that you communicate actively with your boyfriend and inquire as to the cause of his anger.

It is an inevitable aspect of romantic relationships that couples engage in disagreements. However, persistently exhibiting a lack of self-control in the form of anger and aggression towards one's partner may indicate that the latter holds negative sentiments towards the former, or that they find certain aspects of the relationship disagreeable. In such instances, it is crucial for the aggrieved party to inquire about the underlying cause of their partner's anger. This can be done in a detached and objective manner, without allowing emotions to cloud the inquiry.

[2] It is essential to approach the relationship in a rational manner.

It is not uncommon for women to experience heightened emotional states, which can impede their ability to think rationally. To ascertain the underlying issues, it is essential to examine one's emotions objectively. This process may reveal whether the boyfriend harbors the intention to end the relationship, despite lacking a compelling reason, or if he is seeking compensation for the financial investments he has made.

[3] It is imperative to respect each other's boundaries.

In any relationship, both individuals must establish their own boundaries, limits, and principles. It is not advisable to access one's partner's personal communications without consent. A trusting partner would not object to such an action. However, if the partner is contemplating a potential separation, it is likely that the individual will experience emotional distress.

[4] It is imperative to learn to express one's feelings and needs.

In this situation, it is imperative to express one's feelings and needs to the other person regarding certain actions. For instance, one might say to the other, "Your actions have caused me profound sadness, and I am uncertain as to how I can make you happy."

It is evident that you also exhibit distrustful behaviors towards your boyfriend. It is possible that you met on the Internet or entered into a close relationship without sufficient prior acquaintance. However, it is a fundamental tenet of all relationships that mutual understanding and an accurate assessment of the other person's character are essential. This necessitates the ability to make sound judgments and to make rational choices. It is my belief that forming a close relationship in this manner will significantly diminish the challenges you currently face.

The aforementioned perspectives are solely my personal opinions, and it is my hope that they will prove to be of some assistance.

Hello, question asker! From your description, I'd love to help you figure out whether your problem is that you don't like the person or you don't like living with him.

1. You move in with your boyfriend because you miss him so much!

A little over a month ago, I went from school to see my boyfriend. He'd rented a homestay for us to live together. Before we went, we were so excited to see each other and couldn't wait to meet!

This sentence shows that you care about the other person and like them very much. If you didn't like them, you wouldn't have left school to live with them. At this point, I suspect that you just chat with each other online a lot, and you have never really spent any time together.

You went to see him with all your heart and all your feelings for him.

2. Conflicts in your relationship

As you get to know each other, you start to argue. After the initial excitement, you start to take care of each other. At this time, you feel that "there is not the slightest feeling of being in love."

He gets angry with me all the time, pinches me, and says it's a joke, but I don't like that feeling. He also criticizes me and glares at me whenever I don't do something perfectly, which is really frustrating!

At this time, you realize that the other person is not the same as the one you initially imagined. We all have bad days sometimes! So how do you communicate with the other person?

Since I'm a student and he's working, he's been really generous and has basically paid for my expenses. I'm not sure how much it's been, but I think it's been at least 6,000 yuan. I don't know if I like him as much as I used to.

This shows that you are still not independent and are more or less financially dependent on him. I'm so sorry to hear that. How did you feel when he told you this? Have you told him?

You have different ideas about cooking, and when you work hard and cook, he won't eat it, saying that you don't have to cook if you don't want to, that he can eat takeaway anyway. I don't like takeaway, though, and I think it's not nutritious. If I cook, you pick at it, and if I don't cook, you say I don't love you. I'm very clingy, and every time I cling to him, he feels uncomfortable. Either he wants to have sex with me or he won't let me cling to him.

This passage describes your differences in cooking. You both have different habits, which is totally normal! When things are different, how do you communicate?

I don't think you dislike the other person, but I can see how your differences and the other person's comments could make you feel hurt. It's natural to feel bad when we're not getting the comfort and attention we need.

It can be really tough to get along with someone who brings you emotional value that makes you feel down.

I totally get it. When you feel like this, do you ever start to think that you don't like this person?

I totally get where you're coming from. In the beginning of any relationship, it's all good. But as you get to know each other, you realize you have different cultures, personalities, habits, and ways of dealing with things, which can cause a lot of confusion in a relationship.

I know it can be tough, but the good news is that there is a way to resolve these confusions. It's all about effective communication. The two of you just need to find a way to get along.

It's only natural to feel down and doubt a relationship when you feel rejected or excluded.

I really want to help you, so here's my advice:

1. When the other person criticizes you, it's so important to tell them how you feel and what you would like them to do.

2. When two people can't agree, it's time to find a way to make both of you happy. For example, if you love to cook, then cook for yourself. If the other person doesn't like the food, then just tell them you don't have to eat it. I'm happy with it, and you can also order takeout to solve it, or cook together. It doesn't matter if you cook for yourself; what matters is that I'm serving you.

3. If you're a student, I've got some advice for you! It's probably not a good idea to move in together too early. The longer you live together, the less your partner will cherish you, because they'll always think that you're using their hard work and money. It's really important to respect your own feelings at all times. Are you two living together with the intention of getting married?

4. If the analysis isn't what you want and you feel like you don't like the other person, I really hope you can leave in a way that's clear and honest with the other person. Be the kind of girl who respects your feelings and loves yourself.

Dear Questioner, Reading your words is akin to engaging with a friend in person.

After reviewing the details of your relationship with your boyfriend, I have not yet identified a key factor: the sense of common purpose between you and your boyfriend. In an intimate relationship, a lack of shared purpose over an extended period can make it challenging to sustain the relationship. Therefore, when you both encountered obstacles to varying degrees and sought assistance, this was a significant and timely adjustment. You handled it well.

Let us examine the shared sense of purpose between you and your boyfriend based on your description.

In your initial remarks, you indicated that you relocated to your boyfriend's residence approximately six weeks ago. Prior to this, you had rented a homestay arrangement to reside together. You further stated that you had been eagerly anticipating this opportunity and were eager to meet. This statement reflects a strong expectation of a meeting between you.

You then state that upon your arrival, your partner was preoccupied with work and only had time to accompany you shopping and for lunch during the first few days. After that, you were left to your own devices in the homestay. Initially, you spent your time watching TV and cooking, while your partner ate and returned in the evening. However, you later recall that you and your partner frequently ended up arguing over seemingly trivial matters.

In light of the above, I would like to inquire as to whether you and your boyfriend engage in a post-argument review. By "review," I refer to a process of re-examining the content of the argument and identifying both positive aspects and areas for improvement, with the aim of facilitating a smooth and constructive progression in the relationship.

Please continue reading. You state, "We both contracted the flu, and he was unable to attend work as well. We provided care for one another and remained together for a week, engaging in leisure activities and consuming nourishment daily. There was no discernible indication of romantic feelings." I am interested in learning how you conveyed to your partner that you did not experience these feelings of love during that period.

Despite his assertion that his actions are intended as humor, you find them objectionable. The question, therefore, is how you might convey to your partner that these behaviors are not acceptable to you.

Despite your best efforts, you have not received the feedback you were hoping for. How can you communicate your discomfort with this behavior to your supervisor?

You also referenced some of his particular habits during your time together. It appears that regardless of your actions, he will consistently identify areas for improvement and negatively impact your feelings.

You have indicated that you are inclined to be overly attached to him. However, each time you do so, he experiences discomfort and consistently brings up topics that you do not wish to discuss.

Based on the aforementioned information, you have indicated that you wish to terminate the relationship, yet you are reluctant to do so. Additionally, you have expressed a desire to revisit the manner in which he initially pursued you, which has led to feelings of inconsistency in his behavior.

After considering all the information, I would like to share an important observation: you focus on the other person's actions and input, but you neglect your own needs and contributions.

You primarily utilize the "deliberate ingratiation" mode in your communication with him. When the other party experiences the benefits of being ingratiated by you during the communication process, they will request more and more from you without restraint in subsequent communications. The weakening of the sense of boundary between you caused by unrestrained requests will result in a loss of control over the relationship. Even the most successful relationships will falter without a clear sense of boundaries.

It is evident from the description that he has been good to you at times. However, in managing an intimate relationship, it is more important to get along with each other than to be good to each other. In terms of getting along, both parties have points that are worth adjusting. The choice of whether or not to try to make adjustments is yours.

Please find below a few words of advice to help you overcome the current difficulties in your relationship.

It would be beneficial to set a common goal for this intimate relationship, if possible. Some considerations for this goal could include:

a. What are your expectations for this relationship?

b. What are your shared objectives for this relationship?

It is important to retain a certain degree of flexibility and independence in the management of the relationship.

It is important to establish clear boundaries in the relationship and agree on how these will be respected.

It is more beneficial to make personal adjustments than to engage in conflict and attempt to alter the behavior of others.

If there is a mutual compatibility between two individuals, they may choose to enter into a marital relationship. Conversely, if there is a lack of compatibility, they may opt to terminate the relationship.

This is the extent of my response to your confusion.

Regardless of the outcome, it is important to prioritize your own well-being.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hello.

You and your boyfriend have been living together for a short time, but you don't like the way it feels, and you no longer like your boyfriend. What should you do? Let's sort this out together.

You were in an online relationship before you started living together. Your boyfriend has treated you very well, mainly in material terms, and you feel looked after.

This is the passionate stage where both sides see the good in each other. You imagine that the other person is good in other ways because of one aspect that is good. This is called the "halo effect" in psychology.

Let's be real. Most of the time, you're living in a fantasy world, imagining a better future.

However, living together during the holidays will bring you into the real life of cooking and cleaning. From the online world to real life, the strengths and weaknesses of both sides will be revealed. At this time, we will mainly see the aspects of the other person that make us feel bad. We will complain and blame each other. We will consider the other person's complaints and accusations as a sign that they no longer "love" us. We will want to give up the relationship.

This is the second stage of love: the stage of adjustment. It is a necessary stage. As the "disillusionment" of the beautiful image of the other person occurs, you must consider your relationship from the following aspects:

(1) You must accept the other person's shortcomings.

Everyone is imperfect, with their own strengths and weaknesses. When we see the other person's strengths, we must accept their weaknesses. Even if their weaknesses make us dislike them, we can still tolerate them.

(2) You must be able to communicate well when there is a conflict and find a way of getting along that everyone is comfortable with.

It is evident that there have been numerous conflicts during your time together. For instance, there have been disagreements about how to meet each other's needs and how to take care of each other.

You must decide how to spend money together. You also need to discover each other's needs, meet each other's needs, express your feelings, and express your needs.

These things must be done with care during the adjustment period.

(3) Psychological boundaries

Everyone has their own privacy. You must decide what can be shared with the other person, what cannot, and what privacy of the other person you think you have the right to know.

After you have thought about all this, communicate with your partner and decide whether to stay together.

I am confident that this will be helpful.

Best wishes!

Good day, question asker. My name is Evan.

Provide the questioner with encouragement and support. How should you make a decision when it comes to maintaining a positive relationship with your boyfriend and addressing negative feelings in an intimate partnership?

It is essential for the questioner to understand their expectations and requirements from an intimate relationship. It is also crucial to assess whether the boyfriend is able to fulfil these expectations. If the answer is negative, or if the relationship gives the questioner a negative feeling, it is necessary to consider the options available.

It is not possible for anyone else to provide the correct answer. The questioner must listen to their own thoughts and emotions. These will be important in determining the future direction of the relationship.

From the questioner's account, it appears that the questioner's boyfriend is primarily focused on achieving his desired outcomes through this intimate relationship. In an intimate relationship, differences in needs and contributions can lead to challenges in maintaining a smooth and mutually beneficial dynamic. It's essential to ascertain whether the questioner's boyfriend is aware of the questioner's needs and the nature of the relationship with the questioner.

If you are aware of the needs of the questioner, can they be met effectively? What are their motives? It is important for the questioner to be aware of these factors.

As the question was posed on this platform, I would also like to offer the questioner some brief advice.

It is important to understand the motives behind your boyfriend's actions.

It is important to note that the boyfriend's behavior and accusations are often not the fault of the questioner. The questioner is under no obligation to completely obey him. In many cases, these behaviors may be the result of intimate interaction patterns brought to him by his original family. Alternatively, he may be lashing out or attempting to exert control.

It is not uncommon for the questioner to experience emotional responses in the context of her boyfriend's estrangement and accusations. The boyfriend's actions towards the questioner are driven by underlying motives, and it is essential for the questioner to assess the trajectory of the relationship and determine how to navigate the emotional dynamics between them.

The boyfriend's accusation indicates a perception that the questioner has not reciprocated his contributions to the relationship. This could be due to a belief that he has provided more than his fair share of effort, or it could be a result of a perception that the questioner has not made any meaningful contributions to the relationship.

It is important for the questioner to carefully consider the motives behind her boyfriend's actions.

Once issues arise in an intimate relationship, it is important to consider the role that the questioner's boyfriend's attitude may play. It is essential to recognize that a healthy intimate relationship requires the joint efforts of both parties to maintain. unilateral efforts are not a sustainable solution and can lead to fatigue over time.

Additionally, the questioner should consider whether there is an equal dynamic between them and their boyfriend, and whether both parties have equal status in the relationship.

Please convey your feelings.

The boyfriend's actions will not only negatively impact the questioner's emotional state but will also have a detrimental effect on the stability of the intimate relationship. The questioner may wish to consider initiating a conversation with her boyfriend to discuss her own attitude towards the relationship and what she hopes he will do to improve it.

The questioner will only consider modifying their current intimate relationship when they are dissatisfied with it. They may attempt to communicate their feelings to their boyfriend. If the questioner truly wishes to terminate the relationship or if it is no longer fulfilling their needs, they must carefully evaluate whether to separate or remain together. The questioner and their boyfriend have identified issues in their communication style as a primary cause of the current situation.

It is advisable to refrain from publicising your intimate relationship until it has reached its conclusion.

Given the difficulties currently being experienced in the intimate relationship, there is a possibility that the questioner may be dissatisfied with their boyfriend's attitude. This could result in a desire to share their emotions and experiences with their family and friends, as well as posting about it on social media. However, it is important to recognise that no individual should be responsible for making decisions about one's romantic future. If the questioner still wishes to maintain the relationship, this could lead to others forming opinions about the situation and attributing blame to the intimate relationship.

Do not disseminate information about the matter to the general public. However, you may choose to share details with an individual who can assist in resolving the issue and provide guidance.

Disclosing the situation to friends and family may provide a sense of temporary relief. However, this may lead to feelings of remorse and a resurgence of painful emotions.

Due to the large number of individuals offering advice to the original poster (OP), there is a proliferation of opinions, making it challenging to ascertain the most appropriate course of action. If a friend recommends a breakup, and the OP follows this advice, it may prove difficult to reconcile future interactions with this friend if the OP and their boyfriend reconcile.

In making your decision, follow your heart.

Family and friends can provide advice on how to navigate challenges in intimate relationships, but ultimately, the decision rests with the individual. Regardless of whether it's a breakup or staying together, the individual is the sole arbiter of their experiences, and these experiences are not influenced by external factors.

Ultimately, the decision is the questioner's to make. While input from others is valuable, it is the questioner who must ultimately decide. While others may offer ideas on how to view a situation differently, the decision is still the questioner's to make. It is therefore important to follow one's heart.

Once you have calmed down, you should make a decision.

It is evident that the questioner has reservations about her boyfriend's behavior on numerous occasions. Many individuals find it challenging to accept a lack of recognition in an intimate relationship. However, it is crucial to avoid hasty decisions. I advise the questioner to take the time to reflect before making a decision.

It may be beneficial to take a short trip for a few days to allow time for reflection and to avoid making any major decisions, such as breaking up with someone or making other significant commitments. After a period of calm, it is advisable to consider whether the decision being made is in the best interests of all parties involved, rather than acting on impulse and potentially regretting the decision in the future.

The questioner may wish to take some time away to allow for a cooling-off period and to consider their options. It is possible that the questioner is experiencing strong emotions at this time and may be inclined to make a decision without due consideration. However, if the questioner takes the time to calm down and then speaks their mind, they will be less likely to regret their decision.

Allow time to facilitate the healing process.

In the event that this relationship has caused harm to the questioner, it will take time for the questioner to heal. It is important to note that the healing of emotional trauma may not be as fast as the questioner thinks. In fact, it will take a long time before the questioner can truly regain confidence and love in life. Regardless of the continuation of the intimate relationship, even if the two parties reach a consensus and work together, it will take a long time to return to a "normal" life and restore the original trust and affection between the parties.

It is not possible to determine the direction of this relationship. Regardless of its continuation, the outcome is not a positive one. Even in the context of relationships, the questioner needs a significant period of time to process the situation and come to terms with the emotions involved.

It is essential to recognize that the questioner must be mentally prepared to move forward with their life, and that the individual who can facilitate this transition may differ.

Regardless of how the questioner handles this intimate relationship, it is of the utmost importance to follow one's true thoughts. Only time will provide the questioner with a definitive answer.

It is my hope that the questioner will take care of their body when dealing with their relationships. It is possible that this unfortunate experience has left the questioner feeling drained, both physically and mentally. However, it is still important to prioritize self-care. Should the questioner experience any psychological issues following this relationship setback, it is essential to seek the guidance of a qualified professional. This is an important aspect of maintaining overall well-being.

It is important to recognize that life is not always straightforward. It is essential to appreciate and value every moment.

I hope this response is of assistance to the original poster.