Why do I have feelings of attraction towards the same sex?

Hi there! I'm happy you've reached out for help. I hope my input can be useful for you.

You should be commended for having such a clear awareness of your physical and mental reactions and changes when dealing with same-sex and opposite-sex friends. Good awareness is the first step to making positive changes.

When you're facing the same situation, try to notice what's behind the physical tension and heart palpitations. What experiences and feelings have you not felt at other times during your growth process? For example, what were your feelings and experiences when you were growing up with your father?

It's important to understand your anxious, sleepless emotional state. Don't avoid it, reject it, or deny your emotional feelings. If your anxiety and insomnia are causing you a lot of pain, you can try taking deep breaths to relieve the harm of emotional intensity on your body and mind. This will also help you to better experience and feel your emotions and explore the hidden needs behind them.

You can also keep an emotional diary to record your emotional experiences in writing. This can help you to better experience and feel your emotions, become aware of your emotions, and explore the needs hidden behind them. This way, you can seek better responses and ways and methods to satisfy your needs. For example, you can try to relieve your anxiety through relaxation training. Or, you can try to gradually face the situations that make you anxious directly through desensitization. You can do this at a weak level and gradually increase the intensity until the situations that make you anxious no longer make you anxious.

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you.

Dear Question Asker,

I reviewed the issue you outlined on the platform. You indicated that you appear to have romantic feelings for the same sex, accompanied by a heartbeat acceleration and slight chest tightness, which intensified after you entered college. You feel a desire for closeness and intimacy, yet you also exhibit resistance to intimacy, with concerns that you may be gay. What are the underlying issues?

Please find a brief summary below:

1. You are currently facing a dilemma. You have a romantic interest in a person of the same sex, yet you are also concerned that you may be homosexual. You feel repulsed by the idea of engaging in sexual activity with someone of the same sex, which makes you reluctant to pursue a closer relationship. How can you resolve these two conflicting psychological issues?

2. One possible approach is to eliminate certain possibilities. If you are not gay, then your resistance may be unwarranted. As you have acknowledged, you may have previously closed yourself off and not fully experienced the feeling of friendship. Now that you have met a same-sex friend with whom you have a natural connection, you may be seeking closeness. It is important to note that attraction to the same sex does not necessarily indicate a gay orientation. In fact, many individuals resist sexual intimacy with someone of the same sex. The key factor in determining sexual orientation is the desire for intimate contact. By eliminating the possibility of being gay, you can gain clarity and reduce obsessive thoughts.

Normal interpersonal interactions do not distinguish between men and women. You are free to make friends of the same or opposite sex. Since you prefer not to be alone, you can go out more often and meet more friends in the future. The more friends you make, the more your thoughts will change from before. Try not to let yourself be alone, and when you are alone, let your mind wander. There is no need to worry. You are doing just fine!

I hope this information is helpful. Best regards, [Name]