17-year-old girl, recently always can't help but feel angry, not sure if she is ill?

Hello, dear student! You seem anxious, overwhelmed, helpless, and powerless.

You're still able to do your online classes, homework, help your parents with your younger sister, and cook and do the housework. You're amazing!

You're still a student and feeling stressed and annoyed about the pandemic. Your dad doesn't understand you, your mom is busy, and you're feeling ignored.

The pandemic has made life difficult for many people. You are stuck at home, feeling unhappy and isolated. This can make you feel irritable and even unwell. I understand your situation and I want to help. I want to give you a hug!

Dear student, The pandemic has caused many to worry and feel anxious. You can find ways to relieve your emotions and reduce stress.

Do your own thing: paint, dance, jump rope, play chess with your sister. Call friends, chat on WeChat, talk about your troubles. Call the One Psychology listening hotline.

We are happy that our country and government are working hard to stop the epidemic. Healthcare workers are also doing their jobs well. We believe that the epidemic will soon pass and our lives will return to normal. Let's wait for the dawn to break!

Hello, classmate. I'm a sophomore too. I hope my reply helps.

You've done a great job taking care of your sister when your parents are busy. You're helping your parents work without stress. You're also balancing your studies with taking care of your sister. You've done a great job balancing the two.

Second, this month, the pandemic, online classes, and caring for your younger sister will affect your emotions. You will feel depressed and uncomfortable.

When you are impatient, calm down. Listen to music, read, walk, talk to a friend, and express your emotions.

Parents love their children but don't always know how to show it. They work hard and are tired, so they might not notice your emotions.

Talk to your parents when they're resting. Tell them what's on your mind. They might not notice your emotional needs otherwise.

Stay strong, sister!

Hello, question asker! I'm Enoch, the answerer. It seems like you're anxious because you can't control your anger and feel like you might be sick. Your father doesn't understand you and your mother doesn't respond quickly enough. You're sad because of this. I'm here to support you.

Let's look at why the anger is there.

1. Feelings during the pandemic

The pandemic has affected many people's studies, lives, and work. Some are anxious about losing their jobs, their children's studies, or how their family will get along. The questioner is anxious about the impact on his studies and getting along with his family.

Before, the questioner only needed to go to school and do their homework to feel like they had done their tasks. They were also very regular at school and with their teacher. However, after returning home, they may need to help their parents with their younger sister, which affects their studies. Their father does not understand them and their mother is very busy. Therefore, the questioner feels more helpless in their family environment.

2. The questioner's schoolwork has been affected, and their parents can't help. They even have to share the burden with their parents, which makes the questioner angry and upset, even though they want to but can't.

The questioner's parents are also inexperienced. Parents usually feel that their children need care because they are young. After their children go to kindergarten at age three, parents can start working. Older children only need to be picked up and dropped off at school on time and supervised with their studies. Even older children can help with household chores. But now they have encountered a special situation, which is that the children's learning at home actually lacks the help of a teacher, and parents need to provide some help. Older children are not parents when it comes to taking care of children, and they lack professional knowledge and experience. Therefore, it is normal for the questioner to be angry. They should have received guidance and help from their parents, but they did not. They should also help their parents share their worries. At this age and in this era, it is really extraordinary for the questioner to behave in this way.

However, parents may not be able to take care of the questioner. They also hope that the questioner can forgive his father and try to understand his mother's difficulties.

3. Normal pubertal development

The questioner is now in adolescence, a critical period for forming role identity. They were already troubled in the process of exploring their own role and had many thoughts about their expectations for their future life. Now, they have added the roles of being a good student, a good child, a good sister, and to some extent, a good parent. At the same time, they have also taken on responsibilities that they are not qualified for. It is normal for the questioner to feel angry and aggrieved in this chaos.

Here are some tips for the questioner:

1. Find a way to study and take care of your younger sister.

The questioner should think about when they can take care of their younger sister. If they can't study, it will affect their mood, studies, and future prospects. It will also create a burden for their parents. The questioner should take care of their studies first. Then, they should help their mother take care of their younger sister after school. If the questioner can't help their parents, they should tell them. Then, they should let their parents think of other ways to take care of their children.

2. Talk to your parents patiently to get your mother's help.

The questioner's father is confused, so he talks to his mother instead. She's busy, so he tries to find a good time to talk to her. He says he's stressed about school too, but he can't help. His studies are suffering, and he's feeling sick. He hopes his mother can understand him. He helps her with chores in his free time. If that's not possible, he suggests asking relatives to help with childcare.

3. Know your environment so you can handle it.

The pandemic has lasted several years, and the virus keeps changing. We don't know how long online classes will continue. The questioner also doesn't know how long they'll have to deal with their parents and sister at home. I hope the questioner can think about how to cope with their environment. First, try to do what they should do as best as they can. Complete their studies and don't upset their teachers or father. The father's personality may be hard to get along with. If they upset the teacher, it will affect their studies. If they upset the father, he'll blame himself and hurt them more. The questioner needs to learn to protect themselves. Second, talk to their mother about taking care of their sister and their studies. Ask for her help. Finally, if there's no other way, accept the situation and try to become stronger. Ask their mother for child care experience so they can comfort their child. In the process of getting along with their sister, they can enjoy sisterly interaction.

I hope the questioner can relax and focus on their own lives. If their mother can't help, they should seek other support. There's always a way out, and setbacks can help the questioner.

Greetings.

Embrace the child, but refrain from crying.

The majority of individuals express love with intricate stipulations due to their (and their parents') inability to discern love. Those who love profoundly tend to convey their requirements with measured love, frequently resulting in a state of opposition and contradiction. The most efficacious method to alter this phenomenon is to confront emotions and express them accurately.

What are the underlying causes of this anger?

The subject is presented with an appealing ice cream dessert, which the subject desires, but the subject's parents prohibit the subject from consuming it. Instead, the parents instruct the subject to be patient. The subject experiences negative emotions, including anger, frustration, and sadness, due to the inability to express and understand emotions.

It is important to recognize that children often have difficulty understanding emotions in a nuanced manner. During this developmental stage, they may exhibit anger, which can be challenging to discern.

If one is unable to cope with negative emotions, they will accumulate and, when they reach a certain level, they will become a constant source of anger (e.g., when one sees one's sister). This is because unresolved emotions cause inner restlessness. One is unable to feel emotions well when doing things, and mistakes are made without realizing it, which results in strained relationships.

The question thus arises as to how one might repair emotions.

It is essential to enhance one's emotional self-awareness and gain a deeper understanding of one's own emotional state.

In this section, I propose a method of reflection. A day's life can generate a multitude of emotions. One can maintain a record of these emotions, identify those that are unreasonable and inappropriate, and determine areas for improvement. It is essential to calm down and identify the root causes of these negative emotions. What factors contribute to this emotional state?

To illustrate, I once observed a colleague who was exhibiting behaviors that could be perceived as "difficult." Despite the minimal disruption caused by this individual, I found myself losing my composure and responding emotionally. Subsequent reflection revealed that my typically patient demeanor could elicit such an "angry" response whenever I encountered someone exhibiting "difficult" behaviors.

The reason individuals find the behavior of others to be "pretentious" is that they are subconsciously recalling their own experiences of feeling negatively about themselves and their circumstances when they were younger.

The individual in question can observe their inner self and identify the source of their emotions. In the event that their parents have instilled negative familial values, they can courageously express their emotions without concern for whether their parents genuinely care or choose to disregard them. The initial and most crucial step in restoring emotional equilibrium is the release of emotions.

Moreover, it facilitates a deeper comprehension of emotional nuances.

For example, the questioner repeatedly mentioned feeling angry about many things, rather than using other words. It is also possible that there is a lack of awareness of emotions. Our emotions are volatile and diverse. I may experience a variety of emotions, such as helplessness, sadness, and frustration, because my teacher asked me to resubmit my homework. By perceiving and understanding more emotions, I can express emotions more effectively and adjust my behavior accordingly.

It is essential to exercise one's emotions and, based on this exercise, to cultivate an ability to feel emotions. Through the process of communicating with friends, one can gain insight into the nuances of different emotions, thereby enhancing one's comprehension of emotional nuances and fostering effective communication with others while considering their feelings.

& foster amicable interpersonal relationships.

An unfavorable communication experience can impede our ability to communicate effectively, hindering our capacity to listen and express our feelings and thoughts. Instead, we may resort to behaviors that are perceived as unkind, accusatory, or complaining. Frequently, the impact of such interactions can be misguided. Fundamentally, in the context of spiritual communication, we may find ourselves unable to establish effective communication and a healthy emotional connection.

One can attempt to maintain a steady state of mind, communicate with others in a positive and patient manner, express care and acceptance, and observe the frequent appearance of smiles on the faces of friendly individuals. A smile can facilitate interpersonal connections and foster polite greetings. Additionally, one may be more inclined to empathize with friendly individuals.

At the age of 17, I am still a minor, and it is to be expected that I am not yet capable of handling emotions in a mature manner. This is not a cause for concern. It is advisable to allow yourself a little more time to develop this ability. We can provide ourselves with the kind of care that our parents are unable to give, which will help us to feel better. Anger is simply an outward manifestation of our need to protect ourselves. The important thing is to learn how to release the emotion of anger.

I encourage you to proceed.

Hey there! After listening to your description, I can appreciate your anger and the powerlessness that follows.

Your anger is understandable. It's mainly caused by your own needs being ignored and suppressed for a long time.

From what you said, it seems like you understand your parents' struggles. Even though your dad hit you, you don't blame him too much. You just said you can't feel his love, but you can feel your mom's love and her fatigue.

Deep down, you crave your parents' love but also resent them. You bottle up your feelings and don't speak up. This pent-up anger is like a spark that could ignite anything, as you say, and turn you into an explosive mixture. This spark can be anything or anyone, such as your younger sister, being cut in line, or being asked to resubmit your homework.

When you finally can't help but vent your grievances in an argument, this is actually a signal to your parents to ask for help. You're hoping that they'll see your inner exhaustion (having to help your parents with the children while also taking care of your own life and studies) and the signal that you long for more love and consideration from your parents. But, once again, they don't see it, and your father even beats you up.

So, you feel helpless and powerless after getting angry, which makes you think that even if you express your needs, no one will understand. This is called "learned helplessness." Your needs will be ignored, unmet, and even suppressed for a long time. Over time, you will forget your own needs, choose to ignore them, choose to give up fighting, and enter a state of helplessness. Your needs will be suppressed even deeper, and your anger will become more intense.

It's not that you're naturally irritable. It's that you've been suppressing your needs for too long and feeling helpless for too long.

On the surface, you don't get along with your younger sister, but in fact, her presence makes you think about the self that once also needed to be loved by your family. On the surface, you argue with your parents, which makes you seem inconsiderate and unfilial, but in fact, you have been trying to help out by taking care of your younger sister as much as you can while taking online classes. You don't feel your father's love, but you don't blame him too much. You see your mother's love and her fatigue. You are afraid to go for counseling, worrying that you will waste your family's money. All of this shows that you consider the feelings of your family.

My advice to you is to go to the school's counseling center or a professional counseling center or counselor in the community for counseling. If you're worried about the results, you can first find a teacher you like and admire to confide in for two reasons:

It's okay to let off steam, get angry and express your frustration. Once you've done that and feel better, you'll find you can control your anger and get back on track with your studies and life.

You'll get professional advice on managing your emotions from the counselor or school teacher, who'll also pass on what's going on with you to your parents. You might not be able to express your feelings to your parents yet, but the counselor and teacher will give your parents advice from a professional psychological and educational perspective, so you can more accurately express your true feelings. That way, you'll have allies.

You've gradually learned from counselors and teachers how to express your needs to your parents in a way that's appropriate for the situation and in a way that's not too emotional. Even if you don't have the assistance of counselors and teachers in the future, you'll be able to communicate with your parents on your own, achieving the goal of mutual understanding and consideration.

Seventeen is a time of growth and opportunity. Don't let depression hold you back from opening up. Choose a good mentor, a counselor, or a teacher you admire, and let them help you flourish!

Hello!

Host:

I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I read your post and understand your anger.

You have also faced your problems and asked for help, which will help you understand yourself better. This will help you to change for the better.

Next, I will share my thoughts on the post.

1. Anger may be caused by eating too much.

The poster is irritable and annoyed. He can't control his anger, even when facing my younger sister. I think it's hard. It's good that I eat well and do well in my studies at home. When I read this, I understand the poster's anger.

Let's look at why we're angry.

You mentioned that eating three meals a day at home and doing well in your studies is already good.

You also have to take care of your younger sister. Taking care of a child is tiring. When you are tired, you get angry.

Anger shows you need to give and receive to keep a balanced relationship.

There are so many things to do and I'm busy. We can get angry easily.

Maybe you were about to do your own thing, but then something came up and you felt interrupted and drained. You felt like your own initiative was being undermined, and this can make us angry.

Another reason for anger is a lack of understanding and love. Many people expect their parents to understand and love them.

We want our parents to see us in what we do. When they don't, we get angry.

It's because expectations weren't met.

These three things can make us angry. The poster can look at these three things.

2. Learn to express your anger in a reasonable way.

The poster felt angry when someone cut in line in the morning and again when the teacher told them to submit homework again in the afternoon. They felt powerless and sad, and cried.

Why are you angry now? Maybe you expect things to happen your way.

They may have been suppressing their anger. When they're tired, they don't have as much energy to suppress their emotions, and their anger may come out and cause trouble.

So, let go of your expectations. You can't control other people, but you can control yourself.

When we realize this, we can change. We also need to learn to express our anger in a reasonable way.

I don't know how you used to express your anger. One way is to keep a diary.

Express your anger, write it down, and express your feelings. This often helps.

3. Learn to satisfy yourself.

From your post, I can see that you feel unloved. My father can't, and my mother can, but she gets impatient when I'm clingy. When she cares for me, I'm scared.

I understand you, but I also feel that parents aren't very good at loving.

People can't give what they don't have.

If parents don't have enough love, they can't give us enough love. What should we do?

We can love ourselves and meet our own needs. The original poster is only 17.

I'm almost an adult. If I learn to love and satisfy myself, my needs will be met and my anger will subside.

I hope this helps and inspires you.

You're worried or angry because of things that have happened recently, like your parents asking you to do things or the problems with online classes. You've been very tired.

If you're tired, it's easy to lose control of your emotions. You're not an adult yet, but it's hard to take care of a child. You also have to take care of three meals a day and manage your studies.

The 17-year-old girl has been angry.

♣Parents give you medicine for the baby at home for a fee.

It's annoying to take online classes. You want to hit your younger sister.

Trouble

Anger

Dealing with many things yourself made it easy to feel uncomfortable and suffer when things were too complicated. Sometimes we had conflicts with our parents, and we saw your father use physical violence against you.

Family experiences can be painful.

Rest and work moderately.

Prolonged low mood can lead to depression.

You're unhappy and depressed. If you don't talk about it, it will make you feel worse. You need to talk about it.

Like rivers, we need outlets to flow to the ocean. Without them, we harm ourselves. We must face our problems and think about our future.

You may feel uneasy. Things can't always be done your way. Even small things can hurt your feelings. You may lose interest.

You may be feeling depressed. If you don't get help, it could affect your studies. You don't want to go to school, which could also affect your studies. Parents aren't perfect, so don't expect too much from them.

As children, we sometimes have to please our parents. Parents can also be very tired. Nowadays, people have to take care of the elderly and raise children, which is tiring. Both sides need to understand each other better. I recommend that you take the necessary psychological health test to see how you are doing. I also suggest that you talk to a psychological listener or heart exploration coach.

ZQ?