19-year-old boy, should I get "extensive knowledge of society"?

The questioner presents a fascinating case.

I commend you for maintaining a composure that belies your inner turmoil, for your capacity to think critically, for your courage to challenge authority, and for your benevolence and sense of justice. The question you have posed is, in fact, a profound one, reflecting a fundamental philosophical proposition. The path of growth for us Easterners is, in essence, one of understanding the world, governing the family, ruling the country, and then the world. Chinese literati emphasize the unity of knowledge and action. However, there is also the confusion of "even a three-year-old knows how to do it, but an eighty-year-old can't." Why do they know but can't do it?

It would appear that a certain kind of experience is lacking here.

"One should read ten thousand books and walk ten thousand miles."

The life motto of "reading ten thousand volumes and traveling ten thousand miles" is likely familiar to the questioner. Knowledge is an intellectual process, whereas wisdom is a moral and emotional one, involving feelings and perceptions. The mother expresses concern that the individual may experience difficulties in interpersonal relationships and suggests that they consume more social news. This perspective is informed by the mother's personal life experience. She has witnessed many instances of societal conflict and subconsciously hopes that the individual can develop the capacity to protect themselves by watching the news. Her approach involves generalizing from particular instances. News has a specific and immediate nature. Is the violence, PUA, abduction, and discrimination that the individual observes on the internet a general phenomenon or a specific one? Have these particular instances genuinely occurred in their immediate surroundings, or are they being repeated daily?

Reality is in a state of constant flux; there is no inherent problem with supplementing one's knowledge to ensure personal protection. However, if one becomes excessively cautious, it may result in a lack of motivation to engage with others.

In this context, I am reminded of an allegorical story we were all taught at an early age, "The Little Horse Crosses the River." The narrative concerns a young horse that was transporting wheat to the mill for the first time and was compelled to traverse a modest river. The horse consulted with two other creatures, a squirrel and an aged cow, who offered their respective insights on the depth of the river. The squirrel and cow both provided contrasting assessments, with the squirrel claiming the river was deep and the cow asserting it was shallow. The horse was initially uncertain about how to proceed. However, its mother advised it to simply test the river's depth. The horse, emboldened by its mother's guidance, proceeded to wade into the river. This action revealed that the river's depth was neither as profound as the squirrel had claimed nor as shallow as the cow had asserted.

This is the personal experience he has gained through practice. The river is analogous to society, and the news is analogous to the experiences of various animals. It is neither possible to believe everything nor to dismiss everything lightly. By participating in social practice more, we can gradually establish our own principles and wisdom about interpersonal relationships.

The questioner indicated that he is 19 years old this year and that the pandemic has been ongoing for three years. Consequently, it is likely that he has spent the majority of his time at home. In normal circumstances, individuals can engage in social practice after reaching the age of 18. The optimal period for personal growth and development is during periods of leisure, when individuals can work hard, learn, interact with society, and contribute to social construction. However, the pandemic is gradually receding, and the functioning of society will gradually resume its normal pace. It is probable that the enthusiastic questioner is eager to participate in the economic recovery and to navigate the challenges of life with courage and wisdom.

[Society is human nature]

As social animals, humans adhere to certain norms and rules in their social interactions. Psychology, the scientific study of the mind and behavior, investigates the intricacies of the human experience. The inquisitive individual in question evinces a keen interest in reading, a strong appetite for knowledge, and a sense of enthusiasm about entering society. It would, therefore, be prudent for them to engage with some literature on psychology and undertake some theoretical preparation. We would like to suggest a recommended psychology course for this individual: a free course on the Yi Psychology platform, entitled "Three-Minute Psychology." This course allows the individual to learn about psychology in short, daily segments.

The course comprises over 400 episodes and addresses a comprehensive range of interpersonal relationship issues. When confronted with uncertainty in this domain, it is advisable to conduct a search according to the relevant topic or to pose a question on the platform, as has been done today. In such instances, a multitude of knowledgeable and dedicated individuals are available to provide insightful responses.

My name is Zhang Huili, also known as the Sunny Dolphin. It is my hope that the responses I provide will prove beneficial to you. Should you find them to be of value, I would be grateful if you would indicate your approval by selecting the "thumbs up" option.

Hello! I hug you from all sides.

First, we need to understand social knowledge.

You can't say when children should learn about society. It's best to start with a simple understanding of society, humanity, and relationships. Then, as they grow, they can learn more.

Many parents protect their children from the bad parts of society. When children grow up and enter society, they are easily deceived and frustrated.

But society won't indulge him.

Society is not your mother. It will not pamper you.

So while you give your child a good life, you should also let them know that the world is cruel. Others won't indulge you, they may deceive you, and some may be inhumane.

Children should learn this in kindergarten. They will learn to follow the rules, compromise, and get along with others.

In primary school, teachers take better care of him. He doesn't eat alone. He's criticized if he breaks the rules. His classmates give him nicknames.

Parents should guide, lead, and protect their children.

As children grow older and read more, they form their own views on life, values, and the world. But they may need to face challenges to fit in. This can help them become more emotionally intelligent.

The world is not nice. There are still bad things happening in places where it's not sunny. That's why there are police, prisons, and the law.

You should know how to understand social knowledge, but you disagree with your mother.

Read books to understand society and human nature better. I suggest reading sociology, psychology, philosophy, and classic literature. Then think more to reconcile yourself with society. The world is not perfect, but it's not our fault.

There are good places and kind people.

Talk to a counselor. You're 19, probably in high school or starting college. Universities have free counseling, so go to your school and ask for someone in charge.

You can also find free counseling services in your community.

This way, you don't have to let your mother pay for you or tell her. It's not lying; you're just choosing not to share.

You are self-disciplined. You can control your emotions.

I am a Buddhist and a pessimist, but I try to be positive. I love the world.

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I can see that you and your mother have different ideas about social knowledge. It seems like there's even a language barrier, which might be causing some confusion.

I'd love to try to analyze the situation and make a few suggestions!

[A way to understand social knowledge]

As the questioner describes, "My mother tells me to watch the news to gain a broad understanding of society, otherwise I won't get along with people in the future and suffer." This is indeed a way to understand and perceive society, but it's not the only way!

This is all down to differences in cognitive styles. Cognitive style basically refers to the typical way in which the questioner or your lovely mum perceives, remembers, thinks, solves problems, makes decisions, and processes information.

The lovely folks over at the psychology department have come up with a way of understanding how our minds work. They say there are two different ways we process information. One is more influenced by our own thoughts and feelings, and the other is more influenced by what's going on around us.

Let's take a moment to understand the differences between these two cognitive styles.

People with a field-dependent cognitive style are influenced by what's going on around them and by other people. They see things as a whole. This is more like your mother's style! She thinks that watching the news is a great way to understand social knowledge.

People with the field-independent cognitive type are the opposite. They're not easily influenced by things like the environment and other people. They have their own knowledge framework and they like to work independently, analyzing problems on their own.

It's the same with the news about a beating case. You have your own independent analysis and feelings about it.

For example, you can also do your own analysis and judgment of the personal value of "related books" and "online information."

[Suggestions for Comprehensive Self-Awareness Training]

It's so important to recognize that the main conflict between the questioner and his mother mainly stems from their different ways of perceiving things. With that in mind, it's suggested that the questioner should, on the basis of his current way of perceiving things, more comprehensively cultivate self-awareness and fundamentally solve the problem.

One is to accept all kinds of feedback. In life with my mother, I openly accept feedback from her. Even though this feedback might not always be totally accurate or unbiased, it helps me see myself from a really comprehensive perspective.

The second thing you can do to help yourself is to write down three things you're grateful for, three things you're working hard on, and record your inner state. This will help you feel happier and more satisfied, and it'll help you feel less negative.

And third, be a good listener! When you become a good listener, you'll also become more adept at listening to your inner voice and becoming your own best friend.

I really hope this helps you in some way.