22 male, feeling too mature for my age? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Greetings, Upon reading your question and related description, I was struck by a profound realization: that which does not defeat you will ultimately become your most impenetrable armor.

During your rebellious period, you experienced a period of adversity and despair. However, you demonstrated resilience and determination in your recovery.

It is reasonable to posit that the preceding three years must have constituted a significant challenge for you. At the age of 15, the adolescent is undergoing the second phase of separation and individuation, which encompasses the process of disengaging from the maternal figure and the familial unit.

During this period, the child's heart is connected to their parents' bloodline, and they are unable to leave. Concurrently, life enters a period of self-exploration and self-affirmation. The child thinks, "I have grown up, I can break free from my parents' restrictions and be myself, but my parents are not ready to let go of the reins and let you go." As a result of this tug-of-war, the child falls and is unable to get up, which causes significant pain. It is important to note that this is a normal part of development and that it is not uncommon for children to experience this level of distress. At that time, the child just needed to hear, "We are here with you, my child. Will you get up on your own or do you need a little help?"

At that time, a gentle, caring, determined look was sufficient. Instead, the subject encountered their parents' cold stares and rebukes, which caused a significant emotional wound to be imprinted on the subject's heart.

Such experiences may still evoke discomfort, suggesting that if one is still engaged in disagreements over inconsequential matters, it may be beneficial to pursue a process of healing.

You have demonstrated resilience and determination in navigating life's challenges, embracing a life of fulfillment and purpose.

At the age of 20, she successfully completed the entrance examination for a full-time college program without assistance. At the age of 21, she made a full recovery under the guidance of a physician and discontinued the use of all psychotropic medications.

The subject is a 22-year-old male who sustained bilateral fractures of the left leg in a motor vehicle accident while convalescing at home during his junior college internship. He was preparing for the college entrance examination at the time. During this period, he frequently engaged in disputes with his parents. This exemplifies his determination to overcome illness and fate.

It is also possible that your parents experienced a challenging upbringing and did not receive consistent, unconditional love. When a child hurts themselves, they are often seeking attention, love, affirmation, and support from their parents. However, in the ongoing and unconscious power struggle, they may have blocked the flow of affection and neglected the companionship of family love. Consequently, at the age of 15, you were diagnosed with schizophrenia and subsequently experienced a state of depression and anxiety. You also terminated your studies. Fortunately, you received active treatment, which had some effect. After the pain, you gradually improved your attitude at the age of 18. Your parents also began to realize that the price of growth was too heavy. However, you still broke out of the cocoon and embarked on the road to growth.

One must look to the future and strive to achieve a state of self-harmony.

It is evident that you have commenced an investigation into the classical canon. You have endeavored to engage with the Western philosophical traditions of Nietzsche and Schopenhauer in order to resolve your uncertainty regarding the nature of knowledge and to engage in profound contemplations on the essence of life.

Western philosophy addresses three fundamental questions: Who am I? Where did I come from?

These three philosophical propositions are representative of a universal outlook on life and philosophy of life. For each individual, they can also serve as a methodology for navigating their own life.

The question "Who am I?" represents one's orientation towards their own life. This concept is in a constant state of evolution. The self of earlier years is markedly different from the self of today. Therefore, I posit that the self is a positioning that is assigned to oneself at different times. This is analogous to your assertion that you do not desire marriage or children. This represents your current thinking. At some point in the future, you may encounter a partner who will alter your perspective. Therefore, learning philosophy is about maintaining constant awareness of the self and adjusting one's perceptions as they change.

"Where I come from" signifies an awareness of one's personal history, the insights gleaned from it, and one's own thoughts. As you have stated, "Without hope, there is no disappointment."

People are animals, and instinct is about self-preservation and opportunism. Parents can be seen as an older version of oneself, and thus, a source of guidance and protection. However, it is important to recognize that no individual can fully understand another's actions based solely on their instincts. In the face of conflicting interests, self-preservation often becomes the primary motivator. Given the inherent challenges in navigating relationships with parents, it is understandable that some may feel a sense of disillusionment and a loss of hope. These sentiments may stem from a combination of life experiences and insights gained from academic studies. In some cases, they may even require further validation through personal experiences and professional endeavors. However, these reflections can pave the way for a more transformative approach to life and work.

"Where am I going?" - The road to the light. You stated, "I aspire to encounter a soulmate, yet I am uncertain as to the veracity of such a claim."

"I do not aspire to marriage and childrearing. I find great fulfillment in maintaining a small circle of close friends and pursuing activities that align with my personal interests and passions." In this statement, I discern the hallmarks of maturity in your thought process: the aspirational yet realistic expectation of meeting a soulmate, the tranquil acceptance of the circumstances of life, and the practice of maintaining a sense of presence in the present moment. The capacity to seamlessly transition between these two modes of thinking—between idealistic expectations and the acceptance of reality—is a hallmark of personal growth. It is essential to reflect on the journey traversed yesterday, to navigate the path of transformation with purpose and intention today, and to chart a course towards a bright future.

This constitutes the fundamental objective of human existence.

Hello, question owner! When I read your words, I felt a little sadness at first, but then I saw an image of depression-and-a-lack-of-perseverance-16746.html" target="_blank">perseverance, bravery, and not giving up!

At the age of 15, you developed schizophrenia and depression. It's so interesting to me that you experienced this at such a young age! I'm curious about what might have happened during this period to cause such a big blow to your emotions. I just feel that you are living a very depressing life, but I'm excited to hear more about your journey!

At the age of 15, you may encounter a lot of confusion. At this time, you might feel like you need your parents' help, but all you get is cold stares and scolding. It can be tough, but you've got this!

You didn't just accept your situation, though. You actively sought treatment! And from the age of 18, you really started turning a corner. By 19, you had re-established a close relationship with your parents. This surely means that your emotions improved, and so did your relationship with your parents! You saw your parents' "cold eyes and scolding" as mixed with their concern and worry for you. They just didn't know how to express it well, and instead of helping you, they hurt you.

At the age of 20, he made the bold decision to enroll in college on his own after passing the entrance exam. At the age of 21, he made the empowering choice to stop taking drugs. After that, he was involved in a car accident, but he didn't let that stop him! He was determined to review and prepare for the college entrance exam while recovering from his injuries. Throughout his journey, he faced challenges that others might not have experienced. He overcame these hurdles with resilience and determination. Could this be a test from the heavens?

When Heaven entrusts a great task to a person, it first tests their mind, exhausts their strength, starves their body, impoverishes them, and interferes with their plans. But you know what? It may be the darkest before the dawn! You are now walking in the dark, but you're also walking towards a bright future.

You always knew what you wanted and kept going. In fact, you have already surpassed many people! You are self-disciplined, determined, and dare to set off for difficulties. You already have the qualities needed for success. All you need is an opportunity!

From your description, I can tell that your parents' relationship was not very harmonious. But you've grown and learned so much from it! You've developed a resistance to intimate relationships, and you believe that people are inherently lonely. Is this really the case? Let me tell you about an elephant calf. It's tethered to a stake by a trainer since it was young, and its range of movement is only a place with a diameter of three meters. After a few years, the elephant calf grows into an elephant and is tethered to a stake, and its range of movement is still three meters in diameter.

Absolutely not! The elephant has lived in that environment for so long that it no longer has the desire to break free.

Humans are truly extraordinary beings. We stand tall at the top of the food chain because we have the wisdom to reflect and summarize. We experience a vast range of emotions, from the joys, anger, sorrow, and fear common to animals to the other emotions that make us human: joy, delight, happiness, beauty, anger, and irritability. We are emotional beings, too. As children, we need to grow up nourished by family love to be mentally rich. As adults, we need the companionship of love to avoid feeling lonely. The embellishment of friendship opens up a whole new emotional world, which is another kind of feeling.

Life is a delicious mixture of sweet and bitter! You have tasted the bitterness of life, so where is the sweetness?

And then, the sweetness comes along!

Hope is just ahead! Raise your hand and grab it! Your destiny is in your hands!

Greetings. I extend to you a 360-degree embrace.

I recall responding to a comparable inquiry previously; I am uncertain, however, if it was directed to me.

In response to your inquiry, I would posit that you have reached a level of comprehension at an early stage. However, I am uncertain as to the objective of your question.

I recall that during my tenure in junior high school, I was of the opinion that existence was devoid of purpose. At that time, I was of the mindset that living to the age of 29 would be sufficient, which was a rather daunting prospect for a teenager.

Naturally, I have surpassed the age of 29, yet I continue to live in a manner that could be perceived as uninhibited. My daughter has requested that I live to the age of 120, and I have assured her that I will endeavor to do so.

I consider myself to be an optimistic pessimist. While I am pessimistic in my outlook on life in general, I adopt an optimistic approach to specific aspects of my life, such as my relationships with friends and family, my role as a parent, and my interests and activities outside of work. I identify as a Buddhist, although this is not a belief that others necessarily share. Indeed, I frequently feel the urge to lie down and withdraw from the world.

The reason I have not yet relinquished my responsibilities is because I enjoy recognition, which could be perceived as a form of vanity.

I likely fall within the category of individuals who espouse a distinctly Buddhist outlook, yet approach life with a pragmatic and detached mindset. Indeed, the nuances of this complex process have unfolded over time, with insights emerging during my formative years as a student.

Indeed, the growth process is unique to each individual. Some follow a linear trajectory, progressing through school, rebellion, work, marriage, and ultimately, self-realization.

Some individuals undergo maturation in a more abrupt manner. It is not possible to illustrate this process with a single image; however, two images could be used to visually represent the two distinct approaches to growth and development.

Leaping growth is akin to the phenomenon observed in some academic prodigies, who often skip grades. In contrast, others tend to take a more gradual approach, while the academic prodigies often advance at a much faster pace.

From your description, it is evident that you possess a high degree of mental maturity and have made a significant leap in your personal development. You have demonstrated an understanding of concepts that others may only fully grasp after undergoing the socialization process that typically occurs after graduation.

One may adopt a higher perspective when examining one's own self, the behavior of others, the dynamics of society, and the intricacies of relationships.

It is difficult to determine whether this is a positive or negative phenomenon. From my perspective, one potential drawback is that an individual may struggle to integrate into their peer group. While peers may prioritize the enjoyment of a game, an individual who perceives it as childish may face challenges in aligning with the group's norms and expectations.

The advantage is that in the future, one may be able to move faster than one's peers. Indeed, society does not require a great deal of emotion, but is more inclined to require some rational or psychopathic members. By psychopathic, it is meant that the individual is rational, not moved by negative emotions or bad things, and able to stick to one's own ideas.

In an academic setting, it may be possible to avoid such consequences; however, upon leaving the campus and entering society, it becomes imperative to gain work experience. It is therefore unprofessional to act or speak like a child. Those with limited work experience can gain more experience through more practice.

It is, however, somewhat excessive to act and speak in a manner characteristic of a child, assuming that others should exempt you from the usual standards of conduct and indulge your every whim. Many individuals who are new to the workplace are prone to making this mistake, assuming that their superiors should cater to their every need because they are new to the world of work.

However, the primary objective for the employer is to secure the completion of tasks, rather than to oversee the employee's psychological well-being.

One may now posit that the process of being "hit" by society has been circumvented, and that adaptation to societal norms is more straightforward, facilitating personal reconciliation.

However, your apparent reluctance to engage with this subject suggests otherwise. Had you been entirely at ease with the topic, you would not have sought clarification through this question.

It is recommended that you consult with a counselor.

P.S. I pursued graduate studies in political theory and devoted considerable time to reading Marxist philosophy. In retrospect, I am disinclined to recommend such an approach to others. I have come to believe that excessive exposure to complex ideas can diminish one's capacity for enjoyment. Consequently, I now advise those interested in philosophy to pursue a concise understanding of the subject, avoiding an in-depth investigation.

It would be more beneficial to explore traditional Chinese culture, such as the Four Books and the Analects, which are more readily compatible with one's own beliefs and values.

I frequently experience a duality of states, oscillating between Buddhist contemplation and depressive moods. In my professional capacity as a counselor, I endeavor to embody a positive and motivating presence. I extend my love and appreciation to the world.

When I was 15, I was at the height of my anxiety/freelance-illustrator-would-depression-not-diminish-interest-in-gaming-and-leisure-14668.html" target="_blank">depression-2671.html" target="_blank">youth when I suddenly suffered from schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety. I dropped out of school and stayed at home, facing the cold stares and rebukes of my parents. Thanks to active treatment, I improved, and in my early adulthood, I rebuilt an intimate relationship with my parents and enrolled in a full-time college on my own.

From 15 to 22, your psychological journey is pretty much beyond the imagination of most people. You feel mature, but you still want to hear what others think and seek confirmation from others. Maybe you're trying to find another way to affirm yourself.

I hope you find this sharing helpful in broadening your thinking:

1. Relationship with the self

We're born alone, and without hope, there's no disappointment.

You enjoy reading One Hundred Years of Solitude, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, and so on. These great works of philosophy are also full of loneliness and words that are not understood by the world.

In existentialism, there are four main ideas about human beings that are often talked about: death, freedom, loneliness, and meaninglessness. Friedrich Nietzsche was a pioneer, and Arthur Schopenhauer is a key figure in this field.

No one can ever replace another person's pain. It's simply part of being human and it makes us lonely.

Having a profound experience of loneliness at the age of 22 might also be a reference to past experiences.

Maturity of thought means not just thinking about life's big questions, but also having the courage to face them and the motivation to act. From what you've said, I get the impression that you're a lonely traveller and also a warrior who knows what you want from life.

Understanding loneliness and being at peace with yourself is the key to not letting loneliness overwhelm you.

2. Relationship with parents

Morality aside, parents are just like an older friend who is nicer to you.

In the past, your relationship with your parents was pretty confrontational, with you being reprimanded and treated coldly. These days, though, you can regard your parents as older friends who are kinder to you, and you don't expect them to understand you.

"Without hope, there is no disappointment." This probably stems from a choice to give up hope after experiencing too much disappointment. It can lead to a lot of pain and helplessness.

I feel your compassion for all living beings suffering. Maybe your great compassion and love have also blossomed into forgiveness.

3. Relationships with others

The desire for a confidant but the lack of trust in one's confidant probably reflects an understanding of loneliness.

I'm not interested in getting married and having kids. I'm happy with a few close friends and doing what I love.

I'd say that experiencing and feeling life as you walk alone is also a kind of practice.

Psychological maturity might not be that important sometimes. At 22, there are so many chances to experience and understand the clash between the self, others, the external world, and the internal world.

Maturity isn't necessarily a destination; it's more like a journey. Witnessing the changes in yourself along the way is a key part of the process.

I hope this sharing is inspiring for you.

I'm a psychotherapist, not a human nature expert. I just care about the human heart. Thanks.

From what you have shared, it seems that when you are able to go to school, in a better mental state, and things are going well, your relationship with your parents may be more positive.

I wonder if perhaps your parents only accept the good side of you, or if you are in a better mood and treat them better?

From the age of 15 to 22, over a period of seven years, you made significant strides in your recovery journey. You went from being diagnosed with anxiety-and-irritability-is-there-no-way-to-get-married-in-this-life-23755.html" target="_blank">schizophrenia and a state of depression and anxiety to seeking treatment and recovery. You also made the admirable decision to pursue your education, going from being unable to go to school due to illness to self-studying and passing the entrance exam for a full-time college, preparing to go to university. Additionally, you worked on improving your relationship with your parents, and through this process, you learned a great deal and were able to move past the arguments.

It would seem that, within this period, at least three significant changes have occurred that are fairly obvious.

I believe these changes are all welcome and productive.

These changes seem to indicate a growth in maturity of your thoughts and personality.

It may be the case that schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety were perceived as negative before, but it seems that these conditions or symptoms may have been a form of confrontation between you and the two shadows of your parents.

Perhaps we could consider that the schizophrenic side represents the parents, while the other side represents you.

For instance, it could be said that your true self, from the heart and spiritual in nature, is what you truly want and what you truly want to do.

It seems that the parents would prefer you to be something other than who you truly are. This aspect of your personality is akin to the parents' shadow, and it exists under their guidance.

It might be helpful to consider that these two sides of you are not entirely compatible. This could mean that your relationship with your parents is also somewhat incompatible. As a result, you may find yourself mentally separating them, with one living in reality and the other living in another world.

If we consider anxiety to be the parent, depression could be seen as a manifestation of that anxiety.

For instance, your parents may be concerned about your absence from school.

They may not be aware that you are facing some mental challenges that make it difficult for you to continue your education. They are simply asking you to persevere. Your state is depression.

On the other hand, depression can be seen as the parent, while anxiety represents the individual experiencing it.

For instance, you may find yourself unable to attend school due to illness, while your parents are experiencing a period of sadness.

It might be helpful to consider that your active treatment of the disease and your self-study for college entrance exams in order to please your parents could be viewed as states of anxiety.

It is possible that this may be the hidden meaning of the disease and the symptoms that have manifested in you and your parents.

It is important to remember that whether it is an illness or a symptom, whether you reconcile with your parents or quarrel with them, whether you have hope in your parents or are disappointed in them, none of this can erase your mental energy.

It is challenging to maintain mental strength in the face of significant pressure, difficulties, and contrasting attitudes from parents. It requires courage to take one step forward, achieve success, and navigate the challenges that come with it.

The books you enjoy, with their thoughtful approach to issues, may help you to view your parents in a different light and give you a sense of initiative in your own life.

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that you have become more open-minded and relaxed through your experiences, growth, and learning, rather than saying that you are over-mature.

If I might humbly express one concern, it would be that you seem a little lost and lonely.

It's important to remember that this is normal.

It is a natural part of life that everyone will experience loss from the moment they are born.

In particular, it is worth noting that the first separation from the mother can potentially bring about a powerful sense of loss.

It is possible that this sense of loss may accompany a person for the rest of their life, and that it may be difficult to explain in concrete terms.

It is also possible that not being understood by one's parents could contribute to feelings of loneliness.

It might also be the case that feelings of loneliness and a sense of being adrift are the result of unfulfilled spiritual pursuits.

It might also be the case that feelings of loneliness and a sense of being adrift are the result of unfulfilled spiritual pursuits.

While feeling disappointed with your parents, it may help to try to understand that their perception may not be as accurate as you would like, that they have encountered different situations, that their tolerance may be limited, and that they are therefore unable to understand the next generation.

Even if they don't fully comprehend your situation, you can still try to understand theirs.

In terms of your psychological state, it may be possible to cope without your parents' understanding.

It is possible that if parents feel that they are not being understood, they may experience feelings of sadness.

It may be the case that when your situation becomes worse, your parents are unable to accept it.

Perhaps what they are struggling to accept is not your behavior, but rather the situation itself.

It might be helpful to remember that your situation doesn't affect their hearts in the way you think. They're probably hoping that you can get better so that they can feel relieved.

I hope this provides some insight, though I'm not sure if it fully aligns with your perspective.

My name is Yan Guilai, and I'm a psychological counselor. I hope your life is going well!

I give the questioner a big thumbs-up! This thumbs-up is not for anything else, but for the fact that the questioner has experienced so many setbacks and is still strong and "fighting back," and that their thinking has also "awakened." This shows how strong the questioner's inner desire to survive is. Perhaps it is also the inner desire for survival and yearning for a better life that has prompted the questioner to endure setbacks again and again, to get up again and again, and to have the current "let go."

Buddha once said, "All is suffering." This means that there is suffering everywhere in our daily lives. But why is there suffering? Buddha also said, "Ignorance is suffering." This means that there is so much suffering because things are not understood. But if things are understood, if you can't think of something, you don't think of it; if you can't do something, you don't do it, then there will be no suffering!

You can absolutely get the happiness you want! All you have to do is think and do what you can.

The questioner is absolutely right! When the questioner no longer expects their parents to understand them, there are no more arguments between the questioner and their parents. Perhaps the questioner realizes this and understands that if they don't want to argue with their parents, they shouldn't expect them to understand them. However, I personally feel that the questioner only knows this, but doesn't know why it is so. This is what people often refer to as "knowing the what, but not the why." But there's no need to worry about that! Once the questioner understands why, they'll be able to move forward with their life.

The hope that others will understand you contains two messages. One is hope, which here can be said to be a kind of belief, willingness, and expectation within the person's heart. It belongs uniquely to that person's self and is a responsibility that that person's self needs to bear. It has nothing to do with other people, which is great because it means you can focus on yourself! The other is that others understand you. Here the meaning of the message changes. Where does the change lie? It is that whether others understand you or not is still someone else's business. It's a matter of their own choice and decision, which is great because it means you can focus on yourself!

If this person interacts with others with this belief and intention, they will make others feel that this person is forcing control on them and demanding that they do what this person says. This can lead to some pretty intense reactions! They will feel very uncomfortable and will instinctively resist or fight back. They may say things that make this person feel uncomfortable, or do things that make this person angry.

The fact that the questioner has such expectations of his parents makes them uncomfortable, so they argue with the questioner. But here's the good news: when the questioner stops having such expectations of them, the arguing stops!

The good news is that the problem that caused the argument with his parents is not in himself! It's in some of his beliefs and intentions that they cannot understand or accept. And this pattern of getting along with each other may also be the way the questioner's parents usually interact with the questioner.

From the information mentioned by the questioner, it's clear that they had a challenging experience growing up. It's likely that they didn't receive enough respect, trust, understanding, recognition, or acceptance from their parents. This led to a lot of rejection and hurt, which is totally understandable. Unfortunately, this also led to the questioner lowering their expectations of their parents. This is a normal response to such a challenging experience. However, there's a bright side! The questioner has the power to shift their expectations and embrace a more positive outlook.

When the questioner's heart shifts their expectations onto themselves, wanting to rely on themselves to survive and pursue the life they want, something incredible happens. They fall again and again, but they get up again and again, forced to think about life's problems like an adult, forced to "mature." The path the questioner has traveled in 21 years is one that many others may take much longer to reach—and it's been an amazing journey!

Reaching this state of mind does not mean that you will no longer have problems. It simply means that you will have the opportunity to learn and grow from them! The deep subconscious desire for "being respected, trusted, understood, accepted, loved" will still occasionally pop up and trouble the questioner, which is why the questioner wants to find a confidante.

There's a saying that the wise are lonely and the masters are lonely. It means that people with a high level of thinking find it difficult to find people who are the same or similar to themselves. They pursue a life that is different from that of many people, and such a life is difficult to find in the secular world. But there's no need to worry! They can find it outside the crowd, for example, in sacred places and fairy mountains. Therefore, their lives are accompanied by loneliness and isolation, but it's a loneliness and isolation that's filled with excitement and adventure!

If you're looking for a soulmate among the crowd, it's time to let go of your inner "highness" and return to the "world above." Get ready to enjoy the pleasures of life, appreciate the spring flowers and autumn moon, understand the warmth and coldness of the world, and taste the bittersweetness of life. Let your pride go and pursue the life you want!

You may not understand others, but that doesn't stop you from understanding others. It doesn't mean you can't take the initiative to communicate with others to understand why they treat you that way. You can figure out if it's a problem with the other person or if there's something wrong with your own words or actions. Taking the initiative to pursue will always give you more different pleasures and happiness than passively waiting. You hold the power of decision in your hands, and you decide your own life. No matter what others think or say, as long as you live a down-to-earth and secure life, that's enough. And that's something to be excited about!

Hello, my name is Gu Yi, and I'm always humble and consistent.

Let's chat about the feeling of loneliness that's part of being human.

You're only 22, and your youth is still full of beauty. But it seems like the world's complexity and richness haven't made much of an impact on you. It's human nature that's got you seeing through and feeling lost. You're caught between doubt and anxiety, hoping to meet your soulmate.

From what you've shared, it seems like you've had some tough experiences in the past. It's not easy to see the true nature of human nature and loneliness, but you're doing a great job of persevering. Keep up the good work! I hope you can always maintain this curiosity and hope.

Even if we're all familiar with loneliness, we all have our own way of dealing with it. It's only when we've been through it ourselves that we can truly understand the pain and sadness that come with it. It's okay to take a quick look, or to dive deep and gain a deeper insight. Just remember to face it with a positive attitude.

It's so important to find that sweet spot and get the balance right.

A deeper understanding allows you to accept and understand your parents' love in a different way, and your own way of giving back will also be different. We can just acknowledge the existence of love. After all, people ultimately need the warmth and healing of family love, and that's a wonderful thing!

And on top of that, our lives are supported by a certain material foundation. It's so important to go back to reality and embrace the heat and passion of life!

It's so important to remember that no matter how mature we think we are, we'll all have different understandings of life and the world at different stages. So I really hope that the questioner can always have a love and passion for the world, and be curious to discover the beauty of life and the world. That will be a different kind of understanding.

Wishing you all the best!

My child, I offer you a hug. I commend you for being diagnosed with schizophrenia and depressive anxiety, and for actively accepting treatment and making a full recovery. I also commend your perseverance for not attending school after graduating from junior high school, and for being able to study on your own and pass the college entrance exam while undergoing treatment.

If I might be so bold as to say, I would be proud of you if you were my child.

Perhaps we could discuss each point individually, as I feel this might be helpful. I'm not sharing my experience with you with the intention of imposing it on you, but rather with the hope that it might offer you some insight or guidance.

1. It seems that the ups and downs in your relationship with your parents may be tied to how you're being treated. Once you've recovered, you gradually become closer again, but then you have a car accident and are recovering at home, and you start arguing with your parents again. I wonder if your parents sometimes feel that their child is a bit much for them, and they're tired and in a bad mood, which might affect their mood and demeanor towards you?

Similarly, when you are sick, it can be challenging to maintain a positive outlook. At this time, you may find yourself feeling more sensitive and suspicious, which can lead to some difficulties in your relationship with your parents. It's important to remember that there is nothing wrong with having these feelings. You were diagnosed with an illness at a young age, and while it has led to some changes in your life, your parents have been supportive and understanding. They have treated your illness with the care and respect it deserves and have provided you with the opportunity to pursue your studies if you so choose. They have also supported you in other ways, such as helping you to navigate the challenges of supporting a family.

They love you, but they are just ordinary people. They may not always know the best ways to express their feelings, they may not always know how to speak nicely, they may feel anxious when they see you not doing well and have to support the family at the same time, and they may feel lonely when they collapse, thinking about what will happen when they grow old.

I believe that people are very complex creatures. If you take a moment to calm down and think about it, you may find that it's really not a big deal. It's also worth noting that you've gone from being sickly at 15 to healthy at 22.

2. It's wonderful to see you reading Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, and One Hundred Years of Solitude at your young age. It's not often that children this age are exposed to such philosophical literature.

This also raises the question of the origin of mankind. It could be said that all the eating and dressing well ultimately aims to satisfy the richness of the spirit.

If you are open to deepening your inner self, you may find that you understand life better than many people.

3. I respectfully have a different opinion on some points. First of all, parents are more than just friends.

They may not be friends, but they are a source of support in your life. You and they may not even communicate, but they will provide you with the conditions you need to survive, even if they grow old. If you cannot support yourself, they will try their best to support you. This is one way in which family differs from friends.

If you were in a situation where you were poor and destitute, how many people would be willing to support you? It's likely that your parents would be willing to help, even though it might not be something they would be happy about. That's one of the key differences.

It could be said that all your spiritual pursuits are based on the foundation of the worry-free life they have provided for you. Perhaps it would be interesting to consider how your perspective might shift if you had to work and worry about making ends meet. It's possible that your focus would shift from philosophy or close friends to the practical matter of making money.

It could be said that survival is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. If we consider the teachings of philosophy, we may gain a deeper understanding of this concept. When we examine the parent-child relationship from a different perspective, we can see that parents have given much to their children.

4. With regard to one's attitude towards life, it is important to recognise that as long as it does not negatively impact others, it is an individual's right to choose their own path. While human reproduction is a responsibility, there is no obligation for individuals to shoulder social responsibilities.

People who are willing to take on social responsibilities are admirable, but we can also lead morally ordinary lives without causing harm to others. There is nothing wrong with that. In a sense, this is the freedom of the individual.

Whether or not you get married or have children is ultimately up to fate. As long as you don't close yourself off from the world, but rather embrace the flow of life and allow things to unfold naturally, whatever comes your way will be just fine.

No matter what your circumstances may be, a fulfilling and enriching life is possible. When you reach your 100th year and look back on your life with no regrets, that is a truly rewarding experience.

I truly believe you can.

Hello, I'm Xindu.

Buddhism has a saying that we're born into our families because we have karma with our parents. There's a cause and effect.

From what you've told me, it's clear you've had some amazing experiences in life. There have been challenges along the way, but you've also gained some valuable insights and a different perspective on things. This has made you more mature and given you a deeper understanding of issues.

You brought up loneliness, which is a really interesting topic. We're all born naked and then we go through life. If life is a practice or a lesson, then why are we here? Everyone has a different idea about this. Family backgrounds shape our cognitive models, psychological models, and ways of behaving. Just because your parents don't understand you doesn't mean they don't love you. They might just be at a different stage in their worldview. The way they handle relationships and express love or care is only one way.

It's like cooking. An older person or someone from the north will cook northern dishes. They don't know how to cook anything else. They don't know any other ways of doing things. They've done it their whole life. Their mother and grandmother did it too. Then suddenly one day their child says what you're doing isn't healthy. What should you do? Then they'll feel that the child is wrong. Or that the child is messing around. Or that they don't know what to do because it's beyond their knowledge. At this time, people's instincts will protect their own views. Because she's lived like this her whole life. This is a denial. So instinctively there will be resistance. At this time, it has nothing to do with whether you love me or not. At this time, it's just your values, your ideas, and your parents' values and ideas colliding because they're different.

A lot of people will make this generational values clash about love and care.

There's a common belief that parents think children who listen and understand are filial. Children, on the other hand, think that if you love them, you'll fully support them. The core issue is that you have to have the same ideas and thoughts as them in order to be loved and understood. This is inherently impossible unless they're an exact duplicate of you!

I taught a psychology class to children at school before. One of the questions was, "If the world turned one color, how would you feel?" As it turns out, this is a thing.

So, it's best to try to find common ground with your parents. It's important not to let emotions get in the way.

Don't assume there's a lack of understanding or love involved. You can try explaining things from a different perspective.

1: Event – what happened, situation, characters, time, place

2: Incentives.

3: What were your thoughts on the situation? What were your perceptions? What were your initial goals? What did you do or say? How did you feel? What triggered that feeling? What was your focus? How did you interpret the situation?

4: What do parents think? Same as point 3 above.

5: How can we find common ground while still respecting our differences?

Regarding loneliness, we are social animals, but we all need time alone. This is likely a challenge for many of us. There will be times when we feel very lonely and like no one understands us. But just imagine if someone could read your mind, know exactly what you're thinking and what you need, and then meet your needs precisely at that moment. How would you feel?

This is also an interesting way of looking at things.

From what you've said, it seems like you've taken some whole-day college courses and are now studying for your bachelor's degree. It's clear that you have the ability to learn and think deeply.

The world is colorful and prosperous. If our purpose is simply to do our homework and experience the bittersweetness of life, then if it stays the same, it would be boring. It is precisely because of the unknown that it is full of anticipation. It is like guessing a blind box. It is like leveling up in a game. It is not bad to regard the difficulties encountered as fighting monsters and leveling up.

I hope my answer gives you a different perspective. Best wishes!

Greetings, esteemed colleague.

I posit that you are in a favorable position.

It is likely that many individuals who reach the age of 80 or 90 will not possess the same degree of insight as you.

In light of the considerable adversity you have faced, it is evident that your resilience and positive outlook have been instrumental in your personal growth.

In his book Antifragile, Fan Deng posits that antifragility is the ability to withstand and even benefit from adversity. I believe you have achieved this quality.

Antifragility does not entail remaining unaltered when confronted with black swan events; rather, it entails utilizing such events to facilitate personal growth.

You have demonstrated exemplary compliance with your treatment regimen for schizophrenia, anxiety, and depression, and have successfully completed the requisite examinations to gain admission to a full-time junior college and subsequently transfer to a bachelor's program. Despite the occurrence of a vehicular accident during this period, you have exhibited remarkable resilience and an optimistic outlook.

You have ceased engaging in conflict with your parents, as you no longer anticipate their ability to comprehend your perspective.

I consider you to be an admirable individual.

It is evident that you are drawn to the works of Nietzsche and Schopenhauer, as well as to philosophical inquiry. Your contemplation of the meaning of life suggests a keen interest in the philosophical realm. Those who engage with philosophy, particularly Nietzsche, are often driven by a desire to realize their full potential. They are characterized by a distinctive positivity and optimism, as well as a commitment to excellence.

Additionally, your future plans bear resemblance to those of Schopenhauer, who similarly experienced a lack of familial warmth. Regardless of the specifics of your future plans, I am committed to providing you with support.

Given that you are undergoing growth and transformation, it is evident that this is the current state of affairs, which is beneficial.

The future will undoubtedly undergo positive changes.

The future is, by its very nature, open and wonderful.

Let us await the unfolding of future events and the potential for positive outcomes.

I therefore offer my support.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello. Your love/intimate-relationship-confusion-how-has-my-language-hurt-my-husband-2893.html" target="_blank">language is concise and concentrated, and you seem to be taking it in stride. I can imagine the process was difficult, but your positivity has brightened your life.

I'm a psychology enthusiast. I felt moved when I saw your questions, so please forgive me if I didn't put it well! (The following is a long speech. After I finished writing it, I thought about not posting it because it doesn't answer the question, but I wrote it with the intention of being read, so I'm going to post it. You're not obliged to read it, okay?

I didn't answer the question about over-maturity. I just wrote whatever came to mind. Please correct me if I'm wrong!

1. About describing yourself

It's hard to write about your past because people don't want to face their mistakes. I don't want to look back on my life between the ages of 22 and 30. It was a struggle, but I didn't succeed.

I avoid it.

I realized I was avoiding my failures after many counseling sessions.

I don't want to admit I spent 10 years doing nothing. If I don't, I can't move on. It's also a way of indulging in the past and avoiding the present.

You're amazing. You've lived 22 years and written about your life in order. You're willing to face your past and accept it all. (I'm not willing to look back on the past ten years.)

2. About the book

Books are a great way to learn. I read "One Hundred Years of Solitude" in school, but I don't remember much about it.

I've read a few popular psychology books, like "Human Nature," "The Interpretation of Dreams," and "Positive Psychology." I've also read books on time management and learning.

My favorite is Red Chamber.

I started reading full-length novels in junior high school. My Chinese teacher said Qing dynasty novels were close to vernacular, so I started reading them every day, borrowing them from my classmates.

After I grew up, I kept reading it and discovered something new each time.

I also know about Hongxue, which is a field of study about Dream of the Red Chamber. But I didn't feel ready to learn it. I just wanted to, but I didn't know where to start. This year, I saw that Professor Ou Lijuan was teaching Hongxue at National Taiwan University, so I found it and listened to it.

Starting to learn has opened a new world.

Books are wonderful. They comfort lonely hearts, guide students, and nourish the soul.

I'm grateful and happy that I like reading.

3. About parents

I don't think I'm cold-hearted, but I'm always surprised by how much my parents care for me.

I was always surprised. Why were they so good to me?

Why should you give in to me? I don't think I'd ever be good to someone.

I'm still confused about why I'm upset.

For example, even though I was an adult, my parents still got up early to make breakfast. I felt that this was unnecessary. Did they think that I didn't know how to feed myself?

I was grateful and moved, but confused about why they took such good care of me.

I don't know why I think this way. I'm still confused as to why I'm surprised by my parents' kindness.

As a teenager, I had lots of arguments with my dad. I dropped things and he hit me.

As an adult, I withdrew from the family to prepare for the exams. I argued with my father because I was bored and in a bad mood.

These memories and wounds will never go away. They may fade, but the scars are always there.

I can't ignore the pain in my heart.

Just because you can talk about it doesn't mean you're not sad. Life goes on, and I'm more or less passive and negative about it.

My parents gave me life and raised me. They did their best, and I am grateful.

I loved them, but I also had grievances and even hated my father at one point. But as time passed, things calmed down.

4. Empathy

People don't share each other's joys and sorrows.

I agree. We can't empathize with others if we haven't experienced the same thing. Even if we have, we won't feel the same way. I appreciate that people can't understand each other completely.

But you can always try again. If you don't get 100, 99 is not bad.

It takes effort.

5. About loneliness

I agree with the idea of loneliness.

Loneliness makes me feel helpless, but I try to see it as a normal state of life.

Maybe it can be like a container for my time and energy. After a while, it might turn into a jar of fine wine, or it might not. I won't be complacent, but I still find it interesting.

6. About a soulmate

True friends are hard to find.

You have to cultivate a bosom friend.

I don't have friends I can contact at any time. I don't understand myself.

7. About love

I'm confused. I don't love my work because I'm not good at it.

I've attributed it to myself.

When I type, my thoughts fly. I'm happy.

However, I'm afraid of contaminating this "love" and have been afraid to write for a long time. My writing ability has not improved.

I'm trying to write, but it's like learning to walk. I can't hide how much I like it. Even if I write badly, I still want to write. It gives me confidence that I can learn to write well. That's the magic of love.

I don't think I can make a living as a writer, but it's not hard to survive.

I have avoided some topics because I have a mental block or because I disagree with the original poster. As I get older, I fear having different opinions with others because I think it will lead to arguments and hurt me and others. I don't express opposing views and even dread expressing my own views.

I know about these situations in myself. I avoid them because they don't cause me distress.

Thank you for asking. It helped me think.

It's flawed and includes some of my own boring experiences. Please forgive me.

Best,

Greetings. My name is Xin Tan, and I am Coach Fei Yun.

I am gratified and honored to have the opportunity to engage in discourse with you on this subject. Your writing evinces a subtle, appealing melancholy, as well as a quality of candidness and openness that is unusual for someone of your age.

I postulate that this is related to your upbringing. Every life can be written as a beautiful story, and yours must also be very exciting, given the unique life experiences you have had. I can see that you have a good learning ability, thinking ability, and perception.

The title indicates that the emotional state in question is "psychologically too mature," and you are uncertain or unable to fully accept this mature emotional disposition. Let us examine this together, and I will endeavor to empathize with your perspective.

1. Your assessment of being overly mature is accurate.

Some of the adversity you have endured since childhood includes being diagnosed with a mental illness at the age of 15, experiencing the cold eyes and rebukes of your family, and becoming self-taught and completing higher education at the age of 20, a process that continues to the present. During this period, you ceased being dependent on medication, reconciled with your parents, and rebuilt an intimate relationship. You are currently in the stage of home renovation after a car accident.

I commend your perseverance and positive learning ability. This is the optimal way to live: tenacious and powerful, not dependent on anyone, but rather being your strong and confident self.

Undoubtedly, the aforementioned experiences have significantly influenced your value system. As previously stated, the literary works you find most appealing are typically lengthy and complex.

The novel "One Hundred Years of Solitude" is replete with quotable passages. The protagonist, who hates the world and longs to be alone, has undergone a series of emotional and psychological transformations, including a shift from a sense of honor to a nostalgia for honor, and finally, to a sense of despair.

The protagonist is lonely because no one can comprehend his situation when he is at the pinnacle of success, particularly when he is unable to articulate his achievements. The underlying cause of loneliness is the human capacity for introspection and spiritual pursuits. Without these faculties, we are akin to mere automatons devoid of purpose and hope.

Schopenhauer was a renowned pessimistic philosopher. Despite not identifying as a pessimist himself, he influenced others to perceive the world through a negative lens. Nietzsche, another prominent figure in philosophy and poetry, was similarly regarded as an optimistic pessimist, shaped by Schopenhauer's ideas. They could be regarded as heroes who inspired each other.

Nietzsche's essays represent a concentrated expression of his profound thinking.

I posit that the reason you appreciate these works and identify with them so strongly is that you also engage in a great deal of reflection on the subject of life. Their works resonate with you and facilitate the acquisition of a novel perspective on the world.

The aspect that truly resonates with you is the sensation of a suppressed, pent-up inner world, brimming with strength and striving for an avenue to express the intrinsic value of your existence.

Indeed, individuals may experience feelings of loneliness, yet this is not indicative of a negative state. Rather, it is a positive term that denotes a state of solitude, which has been embraced by sages throughout history. This solitude allows for a unique realm of thought that is not accessible to many.

2. Let us proceed to a discussion of maturity.

Life-changing events frequently manifest in one of three ways:

Natural disasters, man-made disasters, blessings from heaven, and learning and growth can be classified into two categories: passive and active.

It can be observed that regardless of whether the experiences in question are active or passive, they share a common feature: a high intensity of emotional experience.

In this state, the processes of thought and the information received are directed directly to the subconscious, where they are stored in memory. As evidenced by the tenacious vitality inspired by the experiences of illness and car accident, this storage occurs in a way that is not entirely passive.

The growth and life lessons that can be achieved in relationships.

The process of growing up is one of change and maturation. It encompasses both intellectual and physical aspects.

As you have come to recognize, this process has enabled you to gain insight into the parent-child relationship, to let go of obsessions, and to understand human nature.

French social psychologist Pierre Bourdieu proposed that the most effective method for assessing an individual's intelligence is to observe whether they can simultaneously maintain two conflicting ideas in their cognitive framework without exhibiting any alterations in their behavior.

Consequently, growth can be defined as a process of continuous intellectual improvement, a process of continuous expansion of the mind, and a process of continuous acceptance.

The capacity to continually extend one's cognitive framework represents a genuine process of learning and growth. The transition to adulthood does not entail utilizing one's acquired knowledge to impose demands on others but rather entails opening one's heart to embrace a broader range of individuals and experiences.

Similarly, as you have reconnected with your parents, you have also gained insights into planning for your future. It should be noted that the decision to get married and have children does not necessarily guarantee a sense of fulfillment or security.

"The result of one's cultivation is an ever-growing sense of tolerance." This allows for the acceptance of circumstances as they are, and with sufficient tolerance, there is the capacity for compassion. This is the means by which inner peace and harmony are found.

The efficacy of learning is not determined by the quantity of knowledge one has acquired, but rather by the extent to which one's worldview has expanded, their emotional capacity has broadened, their interpersonal connections have deepened, and most crucially, by their inclination to engage in further learning.

Given that learning can facilitate continual enhancement of our knowledge and facilitate broader perspectives, learning can be considered a foundational, culminating, and initiating process. I observe these qualities in you.

I would like to extend my sincerest congratulations and best wishes to you as you continue to craft the great novel of your life.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned advice will prove beneficial to you and to the world at large. With warm regards,

Should you wish to continue the communication process, you are invited to click on the "Find a coach" option, which can be found in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. This will enable you to engage in one-to-one communication and growth with me.