32-year-old female, recently found it difficult to get along with colleagues at work, feeling a sense of distance

Hello!

I totally get it!

You've had three job changes, and while it's been a challenge, you've come out stronger and wiser. You've learned that job stability is one of the criteria for measuring excellence, and you're excited to find a role that allows you to thrive.

You were fully committed to each job, so even if you resigned on your own initiative, you will always feel a sense of loss. But that's okay! It just means you're ready for something new and exciting.

However, you believe that interpersonal relationships played a significant role in your first two job changes.

Moreover, you have always been fully committed and dedicated to handling interpersonal relationships and maintaining a good workplace reputation. The changes at work have presented you with an exciting opportunity to build on your previous abilities and make them even more valuable than before! All your previous hard work has become even more significant due to the sudden changes.

Facing this new job, even though the boss and colleagues get along well, you are excited to get involved in new interpersonal relationships as soon as you can! You will unconsciously avoid actions and words that bring you closer to others, but your subjective consciousness has not yet reached this understanding. So you will wonder, why have you recently found yourself feeling a sense of distance at work with your colleagues?

The good news is that the interpersonal relationships you have established in the past have not disappeared. The connections you have accumulated before have simply lain dormant. The even better news is that if you want to get in touch, you can certainly re-establish a good relationship!

I really think this is probably how the incident happened. I really hope it gives you some inspiration!

Wishing you the best!

Hello! Your words are like your face!

The questioner seems to be a principled person who wants to improve but is struggling in their current situation. I give you a warm hug and tell you everything will get better!

"Problems I've had at work."

Have you reflected on why you left your first and second jobs? Could you do this again and still succeed and become an important part of your company?

"The third job is the one I have now. The boss and colleagues are nice, but I don't know how to get along with them."

It takes time to fit in at a new company.

Do your work, coordinate with colleagues, and gain recognition.

If you're running, take part in company or department group activities and become part of the team.

Find a work partner and succeed together!

I love Zen tea and hope my answer helps. Best wishes!

Hello, question asker!

I've changed jobs three times in four years. The first time was because the department I was in was being optimized. Between moving to another department and leaving, I decided to leave.

I left my second job because my leader was using PUA on me. We had a big fight in a meeting, and I immediately resigned.

I'm currently working at my third company. The boss and colleagues are great, but I'm struggling to connect with them. There seems to be a distance between us.

From your resumes, it seems like you're feeling insecure. Psychoanalytic theory suggests that you chose to leave after the department optimization, rather than work in another department.

In reality, you have strong opinions about department optimization. Why was your department optimized? You have some strong feelings about department optimization and you don't agree with it.

So, you left your first company with some strong feelings.

You didn't have time to deal with the emotions brought about by your first company, so you quickly filed them away in your subconscious and moved on to the second company. As a result, your leader's care for you, without being verified for authenticity, was mistakenly perceived by you as PUA.

What is PUA? PUA is an acronym that stands for "Pick-up Artist." It originally meant "an artist who strikes up conversations." It later came to refer to men who have received systematic learning, practice, and continuous updating and improvement to self-improve their emotional quotient. It is now generally used to refer to people who are very good at attracting the opposite sex and making them fall in love, as well as their related behaviors.

The main things to look at are how you start a conversation, how you interact with the other person, and how you build and define the relationship until you get to intimacy and sexual relations.

The basic idea behind PUA is that the person using it is in a position that is inferior to yours in every way. They use PUA to get close to the opposite sex and then further achieve their desired goal. Imagine if the leader is superior to you in every way and you are in the same company. They PUA you. Wouldn't that be self-defeating?

As a unit leader, he should have a higher IQ and EQ.

I think you might be making a mistake in how you're thinking about this.

In your third job, your boss and colleagues are really nice, but you don't feel like you fit in and feel a bit distant from them. You're not sure what's going on.

You think your boss and colleagues are nice because they see your abilities and value you.

You can't fit in with the current atmosphere because you didn't deal with the emotions you felt when you encountered problems in your first job. In that first job, you resisted, and that created a defensive attitude in you. You may have been doing it unconsciously or even consciously, but you released a defensive aura around yourself to protect yourself from being hurt by your workplace and colleagues.

And the second job, you see yourself as a kind of leader. You think you're too modest for the open working environment.

So, how can we change this situation?

First, be aware of your emotions. Emotions are a form of energy that can be either positive or negative, but not good or bad. When an emotion arises, don't resist or control it, but rather appreciate it and feel its effect on our body.

Then, let it out in a way that's appropriate for the situation.

Second, if you're having trouble at work, check to see if the problem is with the leader or if it's something everyone's dealing with.

Be aware of your automatic thoughts and learn to judge things on their own merits, not on the people involved. In a team, don't think you're indispensable.

When you feel an emotion, don't act on it right away. Take a deep breath to calm down and relax. When things don't go as planned, look for the cause within yourself, rather than blaming external factors.

Third, learn from the success of others and grow yourself. For example, check out Carnegie's "The Weakness of Human Nature" to learn how to live in peace with your emotions.

This will help you perfect and sublimate your entire personality, and you'll achieve self-realization.

Fourth, a smile is a great way to improve your relationships with others. Practicing a smile with your lips together in the mirror, getting along with colleagues, doing a kind deed, and lending a hand are all great ways to start building friendships.

Being grateful lets you shine like the light of humanity.

I hope these four steps help you move from white-collar to gold-collar.

I'm Chu Mingdeng, and I love you all!

Hello, question asker.

First of all, I applaud your awakening. You have finally realized that you have a sense of distance in your workplace with your colleagues.

This is very rare and shows that you are excellent at sensing and introspection.

I don't know what your personality traits are. I'm not sure what your attachment patterns are like either.

Next, I'm going to provide a brutal analysis based on psychology.

You have a sense of distance when dealing with colleagues in the workplace. If your company is in the sales sector,

You are in a competitive relationship with your colleagues, and your sense of distance is part of that.

Given that everyone knows each other, the harsh reality of competition is bound to make an appearance when it comes to performance.

This will make everyone on their guard.

Secondly, if you feel a sense of distance from your colleagues, it is likely due to your defenses.

I don't know what your early childhood was like. If you grew up under your parents' demanding expectations,

Your underlying lack of confidence is keeping you at a respectful distance from others. This way, you won't

Your comments are not meant to hurt me.

If you have had several changes of carers or foster care experiences in your early years,

Your interpersonal relationships may also be affected because early attachment patterns have created an inner lack of the necessary

Gaining a deeper understanding of your own communication patterns is simple: practice empathy and counter-empathy. Insecurity prevents you from establishing close relationships with others, and you are always on your guard, taking a cautious approach.

Given the limited nature of the data, if you want to gain a clearer understanding of your own communication patterns, you should find a professional counselor.

You should definitely consider finding a professional counselor to be a mirror and to help you through the counselor's empathy and counter-empathy.

You will gain a clearer understanding of your attachment patterns and personality traits.

Good day, I can see that you are experiencing some confusion. Please accept my best regards.

You are currently experiencing some interpersonal challenges. Please accept this gesture of support and understanding.

I believe that your current work environment may be influenced by the unfavorable experience you had in your previous position, where you were led by a PUA.

The aforementioned experience has resulted in a certain degree of psychological trauma.

As long as it is a psychological trauma, it must be addressed and resolved.

Otherwise, the negative experience will persist and resurface when you least expect it.

It has merely been relegated to the subconscious by the questioner.

The next time you encounter the same person, thing, or object, the negative experience will resurface.

What is the recommended course of action?

I recommend that you seek professional psychological counseling to address the adverse experience of your second job being led by a PUA.

Once you have addressed the negative experience of working with a PUA in your second position and have established positive relationships with your current leaders and colleagues, you may find that the sense of distance diminishes.

I hope that the issue you are currently experiencing can be resolved as soon as possible.

I have no further suggestions at this time.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you. I am available to answer any further questions you may have.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to you and wish you the best.