A 14-year-old girl, how to help her 6-year-old brother develop a good character?

Dear question asker, It is akin to meeting an individual in person when reading their words. From your writing, I discern a robust sense of self-awareness and a resolute determination to assist your younger brother. I will delineate my perspective, with the hope that my response will prove illuminating.

It is evident that you possess the qualities of a commendable sister, exhibiting a profound sense of self-awareness and a compassionate disposition towards your brother. Your description evinces the influence of your parents and sister, a legacy that has been transmitted across generations. In your relationship with your brother, the interpersonal dynamics shaped by your interactions with your parents will inform the patterns you establish with others. You have discerned that your behavioural pattern bears resemblance to that of your sister and parents. It is, therefore, crucial to identify the underlying emotions that accompany these behaviours.

Awareness of one's own actions is an essential first step. It is important to view oneself through a developmental lens, recognizing that one's behavior is not fixed but can be modified. With dedicated practice, this pattern of behavior can evolve into a more constructive and beneficial approach, positively influencing the younger sibling.

One possible course of action would be to attempt to communicate with your brother. When you experience a loss of temper or an angry response, allow your brother to express his thoughts. Once you have heard his thoughts, you should attempt to separate the two of you and allow yourself a period of calm in a separate space. You may then wish to attempt to explain to him the meaning and consequences of the matter at hand. Should you be unable to control your emotions or to teach your brother effectively, you may wish to observe whether any of your relatives have a particular aptitude for teaching children. You could then communicate with them and express your thoughts, with a view to reaching a better conclusion and decision.

Best regards,

The world and I love you.

Good day. My name is Xiang Er.

After reading your question, I am overcome with a sense of sadness. I am deeply moved by your understanding, yet simultaneously, I feel a profound sense of heartbreak for your understanding. It appears that your understanding has led many people to forget that you are merely a 14-year-old girl. What should have been considered by your mother has now fallen on your shoulders.

Prior to the birth of your younger brother, you perceived a lack of maternal and sisterly affection. Your sister frequently reprimanded and belittled you, and your mother's apparent indifference suggested tacit approval of her actions. Your father was compelled to work to support the family and was unable to provide protection. It is plausible that you experienced feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and fear, which subsequently shaped your inferiority complex, cowardice, and high sensitivity.

Following the birth of your younger brother, you perceived a resemblance to your sister. You feared that your younger brother would exhibit the same resentments you had experienced. Despite your apparent animosity towards your younger brother, you hold a profound affection for him. Recently, you have entered a second rebellious phase during adolescence. During this period, children develop a stronger sense of identity and seek the trust and respect of adults.

However, your parents have never paid any attention to you, and they have not coordinated the relationship between you and your younger brother. This has led you to perceive your brother as a potential source of loss, which has resulted in feelings of animosity towards him. Additionally, your sensitive nature has made you acutely aware of your brother's differences, including indications of inferiority and weakness at school. This has led to feelings of sadness and concern for his well-being, as well as a fear that he may exhibit similar traits as you.

Xiang Er proffers a modicum of counsel.

It is evident that the methods of education employed by one's parents are not without shortcomings. It is not possible to assume the role of a parent and replace the love that a younger sibling requires. However, as an older sibling, there is an opportunity to demonstrate love in a manner that is distinct from that of a parent. One such approach could be to offer more substantial praise and encouragement, and to engage in open communication about one's emotions, thereby fostering a sense of connection and warmth between siblings.

It is possible to instill positive moral qualities in one's younger brother and to enter into a gentleman's agreement with him. However, it is also essential to establish clear boundaries and expectations.

2. While spending time with one's younger sibling, one is simultaneously engaging in a mutual interaction. This provides an opportunity to enhance one's self-confidence. One can, for instance, utilize the technique of mental suggestion and verbalize affirmations such as "I am the best" or "I am strong" in a mirrored reflection. Additionally, collaborative problem-solving and the exploration of shared interests and hobbies can facilitate the development of each other's strengths.

It would be beneficial to attempt to establish a peaceful relationship with your sister. It is possible that she felt you were attempting to deprive her of her belongings, which may have prompted her to employ drastic measures to safeguard her perceived status and alleviate her distress. It should be acknowledged that she was also a child lacking in knowledge at the time, and therefore unable to distinguish between right and wrong. Furthermore, her mother did not provide her with guidance on how to handle such situations.

It is important to remember that you are also a child. In the event that others do not love you actively, it is essential to learn to love yourself. It is my hope that you will become stronger and increasingly happy.

Furthermore, it is recommended that you receive physical affection in the form of hugs.

Greetings.

What methods might be employed to educate boys in accordance with these characteristics? The following suggestions are offered for the consideration of parents:

First and foremost, it is imperative to provide your child with unconditional love and support, while simultaneously fostering a spirit of exploration and curiosity.

When children demonstrate an interest in their surroundings and seek to gain further knowledge, parents should not only refrain from expressing annoyance at their inquisitive nature, but also provide encouragement and respond to their queries. In the event that parents are unable to provide an immediate answer, they can inform the children when they have acquired the necessary information.

Many renowned scientists developed their creative abilities from their curiosity during childhood. Parents must foster this nascent wisdom in their children.

In responding to a child's inquiries, it is preferable to refrain from providing a direct answer and instead indicate the means by which the child can ascertain the desired information independently. This may entail conducting experiments or consulting relevant literature. Parents can engage in these activities with young children.

This approach allows parents to foster their child's capacity for independent problem-solving, imparting effective problem-solving techniques while also nurturing their love for literature and intellectual curiosity, thereby emphasizing the value and advantages of reading.

In cases of children destroying toys and equipment, it is important to avoid indiscriminate punishment. Instead, a comprehensive analysis of the situation is essential. While encouraging their natural curiosity and spirit of exploration is crucial, it is also vital to instill in them a sense of appreciation for things and respect for the efforts of others.

Some children disassemble toys and appliances out of curiosity, attempting to discern their internal structure and operational principles. Some children even ingeniously repurpose toys. This is an early manifestation of their creativity, and as long as they are not deliberately destroying things, they should not be scolded but instead provided with guidance. However, it should also be noted that some children destroy objects purely out of vandalism, such as smashing chairs and breaking bowls. Parents must not condone this behavior but instead intervene with firm disapproval.

In conclusion, when addressing a male child's "deviant" behavior, it is essential to conduct an objective analysis of his motives, prioritize affirming and fostering his positive attributes, and, based on these premises, provide him with appropriate guidance. If the child perceives that you understand and respect him, he will be receptive to your guidance and utilize appropriate methods to explore and problem-solve.

Secondly, it is of the utmost importance to instill self-control in your child from an early age.

It is important to note that while boys tend to engage in physical activities such as football and tag, which can be beneficial, the relationship between study, cultural activities, and sports must be managed effectively.

Some boys also exhibit a lack of patience, a propensity for mischief, an inability to sit still, a lack of attention in class, a proclivity for instigating trouble, and a tendency to engage in conflict at the slightest provocation. It is therefore crucial to cultivate in your child the capacity for self-restraint.

One can begin by engaging in activities that capture the child's interest. For instance, one might allow the child to engage in board games, which require a certain degree of calmness, patience, and concentration. Other activities, such as standing on one leg or walking on a balance beam, can also be considered sports games that train patience. When playing these games, it is recommended to first allow the child to set a goal (for instance, counting to a certain number before stopping) and then to encourage them to work hard to achieve this goal.

In regard to the cultivation of self-control, it is of paramount importance to instill a sense of responsibility in children, as a sense of responsibility enables an individual to exercise rational control over their actions. This can be achieved by initiating the inculcation of responsibility in the context of everyday life, beginning at an early age. Parents should encourage their children to perform household chores within their capabilities and should make them aware that this is their duty.

In accordance with the age-related characteristics of the child, it is essential to establish specific requirements pertaining to various aspects of their life, including studies and work. It is also crucial to ensure that daily tasks are completed without fail. Furthermore, it is vital to seize every opportunity to foster positive qualities in the child, such as compassion for others and affectionate behaviour towards younger individuals.

The establishment of a routine is an effective method for fostering self-control in children. It is recommended that they develop regular habits from an early age, including engaging in vigorous play when it is time for recreation, focusing on academic tasks when it is time for study, resting when it is time for repose, and adhering to a consistent routine. When parents provide appropriate guidance and maintain strict standards, children will develop positive habits of self-discipline and self-motivation.

Thirdly, it is essential to provide children with constructive outlets for their excess energy.

It is recommended that parents organize beneficial extracurricular activities for their children, such as sports, cultural activities, and technology. It is important to note that boys have a great deal of energy, and if they are not guided to utilize their excess energy in constructive ways, they may engage in inappropriate behaviors, such as vandalism and physical altercations with others.

Fourth, it is recommended that heroic figures who are both beloved by children and have educational significance be established.

Boys have a proclivity for emulating and venerating heroic figures. Many boys, in particular, hold a profound admiration for the valiant characters depicted in literary works such as "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms," "Water Margin," "The Three Heroes and Five Righteous," "Flying Daggers," and "Shaolin Temple."

Children often lack the capacity to discern between right and wrong, and if educational standards do not keep pace with this, they may only admire and emulate the combative and martial arts aspects of these figures, and even adopt undesirable habits from society, become victims of fraud, and ultimately, stray from the path of righteousness. Therefore, parents should analyse the characters in these works for their children, so that they can recognise that the most valuable quality of these heroes is to support the righteous and eliminate evil. It is advisable to introduce more stories about contemporary revolutionary heroes so that children can learn from the right role models.

In addition, when educating boys, parents must refrain from employing harsh tactics.

This is a common pitfall for many parents. Harsh methods of education are very harmful to children. They can damage the relationship between parents and children, lead to the development of violent, cold-hearted, and aggressive behaviors, encourage the initiation of conflicts with others, and even contribute to the onset of criminal behavior.

It is imperative that parents refrain from employing excessive force.

Additionally, it is crucial to avoid raising a boy to be neither fish nor fowl. Some individuals believe that raising a boy like a girl will increase his chances of survival. This is evidenced by the practice of giving boys girl names, dressing them in girls' clothing, and limiting their playtime with boys. These boys are groomed in a manner that aligns with traditional feminine norms.

Such practices are detrimental to the child's psychological development and character building. It is abnormal to have a masculine body but a feminine mind.

It is imperative that a boy should never be deliberately made to appear less masculine. He should be encouraged to display the character traits that are typically associated with the male gender, including fortitude, decisiveness, initiative, positivity, and a spirit of enterprise.

It is recommended that parents guide their children's mischievous tendencies towards constructive forms of development and exploration. This can be achieved by encouraging participation in group activities that facilitate appropriate play and games.

I hope this information is useful to you. Best wishes, The world