A 15-year-old girl in 9th grade feels she has a mental illness. What should she do?

You're actually in the thrilling, turbulent period of adolescence! You may have a lot of emotions and feelings that others, and even you yourself, cannot understand. All your emotions and thoughts may be related to the instability of adolescence, but that's totally normal!

Your body is changing, and the midterm exams are just around the corner! This is an exciting time, as you'll be tested by both the midterm exams and the college entrance exams. You may even feel like you've developed a mental illness, but you haven't been diagnosed yet. If you suspect that you have a mental illness, it's best to go to the psychiatric department of a hospital for a diagnosis.

You're feeling anxious inside, thinking, procrastinating plans, and having various concerns, which is totally normal! Your sleeping situation could be better, and there are always things that distract you, but that's OK!

I don't know why you stay up late. Maybe this is a problem that needs to be faced. We can't make ourselves stay up late for a long time. Staying up late is not something we need to stick to. It's best to avoid watching too many fascinating videos before going to bed.

Your various feelings of pride and inferiority are also obvious emotions in your current life, no matter what other people think. You can absolutely make yourself achieve what you can achieve! You just need to have appropriate expectations of yourself to calm yourself down. As a dedicated heart exploration coach, I highly recommend that you take the Life Foundation Color Psychological Test and have a thorough exchange with a heart exploration coach or psychological listener.

ZQ?

Dear Question Asker, From your description, I perceive you to be a motivated, self-aware, sensitive, and lovely individual. Despite the lack of completion of your question, I comprehend your anxiety and your aspiration to achieve a more optimal state with minimal delay. I extend to you a warm embrace.

I have carefully read your text and would like to share my views on a few points.

You express concern that you may be experiencing psychological difficulties. Based on your account, you describe fluctuations in mood, alternating between positive and negative states. For instance, when engaged in enjoyable activities like playing basketball, you perceive the world in a positive light. However, when circumstances do not align with your expectations, you experience a sense of gloom. You may perceive these shifts in mood as a psychological issue. It is important to note that such emotional instability is a typical aspect of adolescent development.

Emotional instability is a characteristic of adolescent development. It is important to accept the current state of affairs and to recognize that there is no need to be overly anxious about it.

Additionally, it is crucial to develop the ability to regulate one's emotions. This is a lesson that individuals must learn throughout their lives, and it is important to understand that achieving immediate results is not a prerequisite.

2. From the text, it is evident that the subject exhibits a proclivity for worry. This manifests in concerns about inadequate sleep the night before school, the ability to maintain attention in class the following day, and the potential negative impact of staying up late. Worrying can be conceptualized as a form of self-protection. By anticipating a negative outcome, the subject may be able to avoid experiencing a collapse when that outcome actually occurs.

However, it is important to recognize that the outcome of any situation can be either positive or negative. Instead of dwelling on potential negative outcomes, it is more beneficial to focus on the present and take action. Additionally, it is helpful to reflect on past experiences and recognize that many of the concerns that initially seemed worrisome have ultimately proven to be unfounded.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether this is indeed the case.

3. You indicate that you create comprehensive plans but then procrastinate and blame yourself for not completing them. Procrastination is a common phenomenon. One can establish modest, detailed objectives and begin with a task that can be accomplished with minimal effort.

Furthermore, it is important to learn to forgive oneself. The process of growth and development occurs through a series of trials and errors.

It is my sincere hope that my opinion will prove to be of some assistance to you. I extend my warmest regards to you and to the entire world.

Hello!

You are smart, sensitive, and flexible as you figure yourself out in your confused teenage years. You love to think and explore, and you deserve praise.

You don't have a mental illness. These thoughts are normal. Many people have similar thoughts and experiences. The most important thing is to accept these thoughts and face them.

1. Don't call yourself mentally ill just because you feel bad.

If we label ourselves, we doubt and involve ourselves. We should be more tolerant and accepting of ourselves. This avoids the labeling effect.

2. Know your emotions and adjust them.

Our emotions change quickly. It's normal to feel happy and then sad. But if we don't know how to change our emotions, we stay stuck in one mood.

Emotions affect our behavior. When we are in a bad mood, we may withdraw and become passive. This can cause negative emotions to arise.

To adjust your emotions, you have to be aware of them. When you're feeling down, accept your emotions and let them pass.

Adjusting your emotions helps them become calm and mature.

3. Think about your thoughts and beliefs. Make changes when you need to.

If you like basketball, you'll think the world is great. If you don't, you'll feel down.

You see things as either good or bad. You can't accept anything in between. When things don't go as you expect, you feel the world is ending.

This leads to self-blame and guilt, and negative emotions.

4. See yourself as you really are.

"I hate people who are worse than me, and I also feel bad when I'm around people who are better than me. Sometimes I feel like I'm not smart enough to learn well. But sometimes I also feel like I'm really smart and that everything is easy for me."

You may find yourself to be a paradox, which is normal for adolescents. You are still exploring yourself and cannot fully evaluate yourself.

You can learn to see the world and yourself as having good and bad sides. Everything can change into something else, and everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

When you can look at things philosophically, you can evaluate yourself objectively and have a stable sense of self.

5. You are methodical and flexible. You do what you need to do.

It's good to plan long-term and short-term, but plans change. Find a way to keep improving. Plan, implement, summarize, evaluate, and re-plan based on goals, and make flexible adjustments.

If you know playing with your phone is bad for you, you can't just quit all at once. Have a plan for how much time you'll spend on your phone each day.

Being down-to-earth means getting a little better every day.

You're young, so take your time. You can do it!

I hope Hongyu's reply helps. Thanks for asking!

Good morning, Thank you for sharing your story.

I can sense the internal conflict you're experiencing. You have the desire to take action, but you find yourself procrastinating repeatedly. You have a clear thought process, but your actions don't align with it.

As you mentioned, you have a wealth of ideas but lack the follow-through to implement them.

This internal conflict arises when there is a discrepancy between the desired outcome and the actual situation. The two opposing forces in the brain result in a constant drain of energy.

Let's take a moment to discuss the topic of procrastination.

Procrastination can be defined as an excuse for rationalization in the brain, a kind of hypocrisy, a permanent resistance to freedom, a sense of powerlessness, and a contradictory state of wanting to do something but not doing it.

There are several reasons for procrastination.

Fear of failure is a significant factor in procrastination.

During the growth process, particularly during childhood, if an individual experienced failure and was severely punished by an "important other" (typically a parent), these punishments left a profound psychological impact. Similarly, past failure experiences resulting in significant losses can also lead to a strong sense of failure, which is known as "learned helplessness."

2. Fear of success:

For example, feeling embarrassed when receiving gifts from friends and having to return them immediately is a manifestation of a lack of sense of entitlement. In business, the best way to avoid failure is to do nothing.

The individual may also display a tendency to rebel against authority. This can manifest as a reluctance to comply with established rules and regulations, as well as a resistance to the conventional norms and expectations associated with authority figures.

3. Rebellion against authority: Individuals in this age group (14-21 years old) tend to exhibit rebellious tendencies.

Rebellious children will resist authority and the mainstream. In order to highlight their individuality, they will do the opposite of what everyone else does. This can also result in procrastination.

4. Unable to let go of dependence: Stuck in the dependence period (8-14 years old)

In a context where there are numerous individuals who rely on them, why should they take the initiative themselves?

5. Perfectionism:

This is indicative of an immature mentality, characterised by a dichotomous mindset in early childhood, whereby individuals perceive themselves as either good or bad, and are unable to accept the nuances of grey. This can manifest as a reluctance to engage in tasks that do not meet their exacting standards.

6. Low energy:

It is important to note that all activities require energy. In particular, 25% of our energy is consumed by chaotic thoughts and unstable emotions.

Use the above information to identify the root cause of your procrastination and implement a solution.

It is recommended that you:

It is recommended that you:

Additionally, self-blame can impede personal growth and development. To foster improvement, it is essential to refrain from self-blame and assume responsibility for one's actions.

There are two primary reasons for self-blame: 1. When an individual's actions have caused harm to others or to themselves, resulting in irreparable losses and leading to self-accusations.

Context:

The second reason for self-blame is when an individual feels inferior to others, compares themselves to others, or is hurt by others and feels powerless to attack them. In such cases, self-hatred may also occur.

A focus on the past can manifest as self-blame, which can manifest as self-hatred. This is the case when an individual feels incompetent, inadequate, or inferior to others.

The nature of self-blame is an inability to accept the facts of the present moment, which diverts energy away from more productive activities.

The essence of self-blame is an inability to accept the facts of the present moment, which is a costly process in terms of energy expenditure.

Responsibility entails self-attribution and self-affirmation. It means recognizing that you are the source of everything and that you can learn from past experiences to avoid similar issues in the future. It also means identifying what you need to do to achieve the desired outcome and then taking action.

Responsibility entails self-attribution and self-affirmation. It signifies that an individual is the source of all their actions and outcomes. It prompts the examination of past experiences to identify lessons learned and strategies to avoid similar situations in the future. It also necessitates the identification of actions required to achieve desired outcomes and the timing of those actions.

Thank you for your attention. Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions or require any additional information. Best regards,

It is important to maintain focus on the present or future, while acknowledging the lessons learned from the past.

Thank you for your attention. I hope the above is helpful to you. The world and I love you.

Begin with smaller tasks and you will find that success will follow.

I hope the above is helpful to you, and I wish you success in all your endeavors.

I hope the above is helpful to you. Best regards, [Your name]

To continue the conversation, please click "Find a Coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hug the original poster.

Your description brings back memories of my own past. I used to have serious internal conflicts, too, and every day was a painful experience.

At that time, I kept a diary in which I berated myself every day. I complained that I hadn't studied hard enough and had wasted my time. I also tried to deal with my inexplicable feelings of loss that day. I attempted to overcome my emotions with reason. By persistently berating and blaming myself every day, I finally stopped. I gave up the habit of keeping a diary.

Once I stopped keeping a diary, I was no longer in contact with the person who had caused me secondary harm. However, I still experienced negative emotions such as depression and discomfort during the day. When I had time, I reflected on why I was suffering and why I was sad. I was able to identify the reasons behind my unwell feelings, whether it was a mistake I made today, time wasted on the phone or computer, or even unpleasant memories of my family. These factors could contribute to my bad mood on any given day.

To change and make life more fulfilling, I plan every day in great detail. I wake up at 7:30, go to bed at 11:00, and arrange every time period and even when to go to the toilet and drink water. Looking at the full schedule, I feel happy and joyful.

However, when it came to implementation, I either procrastinated and nothing got done, or I made one mistake after another and ended up watching my schedule turn into a joke.

Additionally, I sought solace in books about success and "chicken soup for the soul" literature. The authors' excellent writing and passionate stories inspired me, giving me strength and motivation to get started. However, that passion and enthusiasm waned on the way back to the dormitory. I still lacked the knowledge and skills to address the challenges I faced in real life, and the quotes I had read or written down didn't provide much guidance when I encountered practical problems.

I endured a long period of pain and struggle, and I also believed I had a serious mental illness. At that time, I sought to gain others' understanding by destroying myself, in exchange for their guilt or understanding. Sometimes I would wake up crying in my dreams, in which I suddenly accomplished my own liberation. As I wished, I saw the unbearable pain on other people's faces.

I didn't do it (and I'm still alive to prove it). I found another way to destroy myself—I dropped out of school. When I sent my school things home, my parents learned of my intention to drop out of school, and the worst conflict between me and my parents broke out. I finally saw their sad tears and finally revealed the suffering I had been through.

Once I was understood, I was able to redirect some of my self-destructive energy. I stopped obsessing over destroying myself and started seeing reality in the future. I carefully considered my decision and took advantage of the opportunity given by my family to continue my unfinished studies.

After returning to school, I read a lot of books. In those two years, I read nearly a hundred books. It was also then that I started to get in touch with psychology. I quickly realized that psychology is a practical and effective field of study. It provides actionable insights that can help people make changes in their lives. By studying psychology-related knowledge, I also learned why it doesn't work to write in a diary to scold yourself or reflect on the causes of emotions. Writing in a diary or reflecting on negative emotions is a futile exercise. It's a form of rumination that perpetuates negative emotions. Perceiving negative emotions over and over again is no wonder that they keep lingering.

But after learning about psychology, I've also become confused. I'm not sure if I've ever had a serious mental illness because a diagnosis cannot be based solely on one's subjective imagination or a simple psychological scale test. However, if I were to receive psychological treatment at that time, I would probably be diagnosed. After all, Rosenhan had admitted seven normal people into a psychiatric hospital for four years without the hospital noticing. To put it even more exaggeratedly, there are not many "psychologically normal people" in modern society!

After all this, I want to be clear about one thing:

"You're not alone. This problem has happened to other people before, and it will happen to other people in the future. You understand your emotions and can reflect on them. You have your own thoughts about life, and that's good.

Your distress is a result of our improper handling of common adolescent emotional issues. Believe in yourself and the future, and you will overcome these problems. There is no need to worry.

"

Furthermore, we can and should make some adjustments and changes from now on, for example:

1. Replace detailed plans with routines. People don't feel burdened by eating and washing every day because they are part of our daily lives. For the things we want to do, we can also treat them as a routine that needs to be done every day. Just do them every day, miss them occasionally, and continue to do them tomorrow. Just like my previous persistence in reading and my current persistence in meditation, they are just part of our daily lives.

2. Stop internal conflict and focus on the parts that are going well. I am telling you this, and you will unconsciously think of pink elephants. This is how the human brain works.

Similarly, when we tell ourselves not to be sad, angry, or upset, our minds receive the information that we are, in fact, sad, angry, and upset. These instructions are the opposite of what we want to achieve, so we must consider how to make ourselves feel better.

3. Avoid temptation. Self-control, like energy, is a resource that can be depleted. If we waste a lot of self-control during the day fighting the urge to play with our phones, we often can't control ourselves from doing it at night. This does not make us a person with poor self-control. It simply means that our self-control is "low" after a day of use.

4. Don't label. Those who label themselves and others have a relatively "lazy" brain. They are too lazy to pay attention to individual differences and use simple classification criteria to distinguish between individuals. This makes them think and analyze the reasons behind other people's actions less, so that they simply live with prejudices against themselves or others.

5. Focus on concrete things instead of daydreaming. If staying up late makes you feel uncomfortable, think about effective ways to go to bed early. Don't dwell on the negative consequences of staying up late or why you want to stay up late.

If you want to put down your phone and go to bed early, set an alarm for 11:30 pm. When the alarm goes off, get up, take a sip of water, put down your phone, and then lie down to go to sleep. Setting an alarm is not enough.

Let go of the facade, step into the real world, and embrace your authentic self.

Often, we just go with the flow and live up to other people's expectations. We always want to be the perfect version of ourselves, and we focus on our strengths while ignoring our weaknesses, which can make us feel detached from who we really are.

But this often leads to setting goals that are impossible to achieve. We always live in our plans and fantasies, but when it comes to taking action, we never get there.

The real self is about your abilities, your shortcomings, and your zone of proximal development. Staying up late is more harmful to your physical health, but it doesn't affect your intelligence or your work ethic.

When you're really determined to do something, it's tough to get sidetracked by outside influences.

The past is what it is, and the future is anyone's guess. What we can decide is how we act in the present, and with what kind of self we face tomorrow.

You always set a direction in your heart, but in real life, you'll probably get distracted by things going on in your own head and end up making excuses. Inevitably, you'll accept the failure as your own, even though it wasn't.

Great people are great, and ordinary people are ordinary in their own way. It's not helpful to talk about similarities without a historical context or practical life situation. It might give you experience, but it's two completely different situations.

What we expect is what we aspire to, and what we hate may be something we can't achieve. Dreams are beautiful, and we can be excellent.

But it all comes down to hard work and the current situation.

Even the most successful people don't achieve their goals by just daydreaming. They work hard and take action to make things happen. That means accepting reality, your shortcomings, and your mediocrity.

It's tough to bridge the gap between thinking and doing when we expect the best.