A 19-year-old female student, currently studying at a second-tier university, majoring in primary education, and does not want to get married and have children.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm a modest, self-effacing person who is consistent in my actions.

Everyone deserves to love themselves.

Make room in your heart for some sunshine.

The world can be pretty tough on most of us. We're all trying to make a living and find happiness. So, it's not surprising that many people like us are struggling while working hard. As they say, the heroism of life is the ability to love life after recognizing the truth of life.

From what you've said, I can see you're going through a lot of ups and downs. But it's not all doom and gloom. You have love in your heart and you expect to be loved, so you're not a pessimist. So let's get rid of the labels we've put on ourselves and find a way to meet love and meet more interesting people.

When you meet love, don't set a precise standard for yourself. You might not know if you'll have children in the future, and you're still young, so enjoy the innocence and beauty of life. Having children is because you've met someone you want to be together with for the rest of your life. You want to create more possibilities, more differences, and more love in your life, so the thought of having children is actually very complicated, and we don't need to think about it for now. Just enjoy your youth.

The relationship between me, my work, and my marriage.

Life is about the network we've built for ourselves. It's this network that requires us to handle various relationships. So every day we're creating, repairing, adjusting, and maintaining relationships. Our relationship with work is the one that gives our lives the most meaning. Many people find their own meaning and value in their work, but our meaning goes beyond that.

So, it's important to have a broader perspective and think about the bigger picture, including our work.

We gradually understand the meaning of life through our experiences, what we gain and what we lose. We'll meet someone we can trust and start to change. We'll also have moments of insight and adjust our thinking after experiencing things. All of this is possible, and we need to experience it, feel it, and appreciate the beauty of the world to realize it's worth it.

The only person who can free themselves from this pessimistic mindset is themselves. During the Kangxi period, there was a Princess Lan Qier. She encountered love and developed her own heart at a young age. Later, she was married off by her father as a marriage envoy for the sake of the country. Initially, she felt a sense of sadness when she got married, but the love and family she gained years later brought her joy.

The road of life is a moving target, so it's best not to be too pessimistic too soon.

Wishing you the best!

Hello, I'd like to offer you a 360-degree hug if you'd like.

You're only 19 years old, so my advice is to not think about the future, but to focus on the present and enjoy each day. As for whether or not to get married, it might be helpful to take some time to reflect before making a final decision.

I must admit that I am not an especially optimistic person. When I was in junior high school, I often felt that the prospect of living to the age of 30 was daunting. I was not particularly eager to live to 30 and was rather resigned to the idea of dying after turning 29. As it turned out, I am now in my 40s, and I am still living in this world, albeit with a certain degree of ambivalence.

My daughter also asked me to at least accompany her until she is 80 years old. If I do that, I may become known as an older parent.

To be frank, I never imagined that I would invest so much of myself in a child and feel such a strong attachment to her. Of course, in return, I have received her unwavering love and the joy of seeing her creative spirit flourish.

As we reach middle age, we may come to appreciate that life is not simply the accumulation of major events, but rather the gradual accumulation of many small, unremarkable moments.

I often wonder if I had not gone to Guangdong to "save the country by taking the high road," would I have become a civil servant in our county and led a stable life with a future that was clear from the beginning?

If my husband had asked me out back then and I had said no, would that have had a significant impact on the rest of my life?

In short, it is often difficult to predict which of our decisions, ideas, or sudden insights will have a significant impact on our lives. It is possible that a seemingly inconsequential choice at the time might eventually influence our future.

For instance, I have enjoyed reading since middle school. During my time in college, I read a variety of books at a fast pace, including works on martial arts, science fiction, romance, sociology, history, humanities, and philosophy. While there were many books, I felt that the quality was not as high as I had hoped.

As a result, I have now become a writing coach. I find that compared to other people, I have a broader range of knowledge, which I can integrate more easily. I can also see the underlying logic more easily.

I believe that all of this is the result of my previous reading, which I would describe as careless and purposeless. At the time, I did not anticipate that it would have such a positive impact on my future. However, I now feel that those readings have shaped me into who I am today.

At that time, I was perhaps not as forward-thinking as I could have been.

After sharing my thoughts, I would like to suggest that it is not always necessary to think so far ahead or to rush into making decisions. It can be beneficial to live in the present, to do the things you enjoy, and to meet friends with whom you can empathize. You may find that the rest will fall into place with time.

I am a counseling psychologist who tends to view things in a somewhat pessimistic light, but I also have moments of optimism. I love the world and all of its complexities.

Hello. I can clearly see your inner inferiority and depression from your description.

You don't want to get married and have children, and you don't know how to talk to your parents about it.

The real issue here is that you're not bothered by not getting married and having children. It's your parents.

You just don't know how to explain it to your parents. But you do know that you don't have to meet other people's expectations and that you have the right to make your own choices in life.

Is it really the world that is being harsh on you?

Our relationship with our parents is our relationship with the world.

You believe the world is too harsh on the unintelligent because it only values results.

In your world, this "world" is harsh on you. They don't love you, but they love the result you produce.

A second-class degree is not what they want, and you feel inferior, self-blame, and guilt as a result.

So, is your world really the world of reality? If not, then who or what is it?

This explains why you hate being restricted and prefer freedom. It also explains why you have been unhappy for so many years.

You're determined not to have children because you don't want him/her to be unhappy like you?

It is not your fault that your parents are troubled and suffering.

You don't want to get married because you don't like anyone, and you don't want children. If you get married without children, you know it will cause your partner too much trouble and pain. You don't want him to change for you, so you simply don't get married.

You know you still look forward to a beautiful relationship based on mutual understanding, and you're open to getting married.

On the other hand, you are afraid that if you don't have children, you won't be able to meet your partner's expectations. You are afraid of causing them pain, and you don't believe that the other person will like you for who you are.

You know your parents love you, but you feel guilty because you feel you've disappointed them and caused them pain.

Your relationship with your parents has made you feel worthless, like you'll disappoint and hurt others, and like no one will be happy with you.

You don't know that everyone has the right to make their own life choices and that it has nothing to do with other people, including the people closest to them.

It is normal for parents to have expectations of you. You do not need to feel self-reproach or guilt if you cannot meet them. Parents must learn to accept this.

My child, you must let go of your parents' expectations of you. Live your life boldly and be true to yourself. This is not a betrayal of your parents or your family. You have done nothing wrong.

You don't need to rush into making decisions about marriage and children.

It's too early to know if you'll meet someone who loves you, get married, and have children.

The future holds so many possibilities, so there is no need to rush to tell your parents your thoughts.

Start with small things and express your feelings and needs to your parents more often.

Parents are not as vulnerable or easily hurt as you think.

On the other hand, parents are not easily hurt, and it is normal for them to feel this way. Give your parents time to process their emotions.

Your parents will respect your choices if they really love you.

Best wishes!

Dear Question Asker,

Indeed, individuals possess the prerogative to select their own lifestyle. However, the primary concern is often the means of persuasion to convince one's parents. Given the role of parenting in shaping an individual's identity, it is understandable that the last thing one would want is to cause distress or sadness to one's parents.

First, it is essential to identify the underlying reasons for the lack of interest in marriage.

Some individuals are reluctant to marry due to witnessing marital discord among their parents or other influential figures during their formative years. This can instill a fear of marriage, influencing their perceptions of love and matrimony. Conversely, some individuals hail from relatively stable and supportive families, yet they remain disinclined to wed.

If one is able to live a fulfilling life independently, there is no inherent problem with remaining single. It is important to note that cohabitation does not necessarily guarantee happiness. For parents, this can be a cause for concern, particularly when considering the potential for their children to face loneliness in later life.

One might inquire as to the potential consequences of loneliness in the absence of companionship.

2. Construct a list of the most significant aspects of your life and indicate their relative importance.

It is recommended that you attempt to leave your parents and your familiar circle of life after graduation. You should then live and work alone for one to two years, during which time you should endeavor to become a fully functioning adult.

One can only gain a foothold in society and in life through a firm belief and by engaging in activities that yield tangible results.

Otherwise, such statements are devoid of substance and represent mere fantasy.

Parents express concern that their children may be overly optimistic, prompting them to seek involvement in their children's lives.

In order to reassure one's parents, it is essential to have a plan, set goals, and demonstrate the ability to survive.

A life list may include the following elements:

A stable and high-quality life, a continuously growing personal income, and a foreseeable and executable career plan.

Stable and healthy relationships, personal growth, and financial security in old age.

This section must be detailed and comprehensive. Only through such specificity can parents be reassured about their children's future.

3. Determine your identity and then disseminate your plan to your parents.

It is essential to be clear about one's life goals, the necessary accomplishments, the desired achievements, and the desired lifestyle. These elements should be conveyed to one's parents in a specific and clear manner.

In other words, it is imperative to demonstrate to one's parents that one possesses the capacity to lead the life one desires and to achieve personal fulfillment.

4. As modern society progresses, women are becoming increasingly educated and acquiring higher status. Many women are no longer reliant on men for financial support. They are able to earn their own income, provide for their families, purchase property and vehicles, and acquire the items they desire. This has also led to an increase in women who do not view marriage as the sole means of establishing independence.

If one wishes to pursue an independent path, it is essential to be capable of supporting oneself and caring for one's parents. When parents observe that their child is leading a fulfilling and contented life, they will eventually come to accept the reality that marriage is not a priority for that child. Is it not the parents' primary desire for their child to experience happiness? Are they, in fact, forcing their child to make a decision?

Ultimately, you have not yet completed your academic studies, and there are many years remaining. It is entirely normal for you to indicate that you do not wish to marry. It is also normal for you to change your mind one day when you meet someone you really like. You have the right to live your life according to your own wishes, and this does not indicate a lack of courage or ability.

Ultimately, regardless of the decision one makes, as long as they are genuinely content, that is sufficient.

Parents desire nothing more than to see their children achieve genuine happiness.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello, my dear friend! I'm a heart coach, and I'm here to listen to you with all my heart and warmth.

I really admire your carefree attitude! If you truly have no attachments and spend your life carefree, achieving self-fulfillment at work and enjoying the happiness of family life while accompanying your parents, it is also a wonderful state of life.

My dear friend, I don't know exactly what you've been through. It's so sad to hear you say you haven't been happy for so long. It's hard to find things to cherish when you feel so alone. I'm here for you, and I'm sending you all my love.

It's totally normal to feel a little lonely and look at the world with cold eyes sometimes. We all want the care and warmth of others, but it can feel like we're being artificially "rejected" and excluded. And it's totally understandable to want to pursue a spiritual level while also wanting to be free and not tied down.

I just want to let you know that growing up can bring out all kinds of emotions, and that's totally normal!

As you said, you are just 19 years old. Each stage of life has different life issues. Youth should be full of hope, passion, and vitality, but you are acting too maturely, surpassing the thinking and perception of life that should be expected at this age.

You know, you admit that you are pessimistic at heart. This is totally your pattern! We all have our own inherent patterns: patterns of behavior, emotions, and thinking. And we bring these patterns into our various relationships.

It's so true! When we focus on the good, we're happy. But when we dwell on the negative, we're sad and depressed.

This is why, when faced with the same thing, some people are happy and others are sad.

But why do most people tend to look at the negative things? Well, it can be explained by something called evolutionary biology.

Ancient humans lived in the jungle, where they were constantly exposed to sudden dangers. Some people were more safety-conscious and paid more attention to dangerous things, such as where there were lions, tigers, poisonous insects, and snakes. This type of person would be vigilant when focusing on dangers.

The other kind of person assumes that focusing on the good things in life, such as flowers, beautiful scenery, and delicious food, seems to make people happy because they are all good things. But which kind of person is more likely to survive? It must be the person who focuses on dangerous things who is more likely to survive.

So, from this principle of evolutionary psychology, we know that our ancestors were so clever to focus on the dangers.

"Any behavior requires a specific time frame." But today, we don't live in the jungle anymore. If we follow the jungle way of life, we'll only survive, not live!

What can you do to live a little more and be happier? It's simple: take a moment to look around you and express your gratitude for all the good things in your life.

I'm so happy to tell you all that this is the most effective way to make you happy!

Those who can do this are called "optimists," while those who are always focused on dangers and deficiencies are called "pessimists."

Seligman, the father of American psychology, found some really interesting differences in the way happy and optimistic people think, compared to pessimists.

Pessimists:

Pessimists:

1. You tend to see difficult or unpleasant things as something that will stick around for a while, while you see good things as more of a passing thing.

2. You see difficulties as just part of life, and good things as the exception.

3. When it comes to achievements, they tend to think that they got there because they did something right, rather than because of their natural talent. And when it comes to mistakes, they often believe that it's because they're not quite there yet, and that it's down to human problems.

Optimists think the opposite!

1. Try to see difficult or unpleasant things as just temporary. And remember, the good things are there to stay!

2. They tend to think that good things are the norm, while difficulties are isolated and exceptional.

3. You're so good at recognizing your own abilities and giving yourself credit for your achievements! But, you might need a little more support when it comes to mistakes. It's easy to think that mistakes are just accidental events that have nothing to do with your abilities.

My dear, using your current level of thinking to approach marriage, family, and even life and death in the future is a kind of perception. In just a few short years, you'll have so much more life experience and a richer social experience. I'm sure you'll have new perceptions then, too!

Looking at marriage, family, and life and death again will be a different perspective. I know you now see love and marriage as a shackle, or even something you don't need in your life, but I'm here to tell you that you're wrong!

As time goes by, you'll grow older, your parents will grow older, and your friends will grow apart. These feelings will naturally change as a result.

As a person develops, they gain more space, more choices, and more freedom in life. Their inner thought framework is no longer limited, and they truly have the power to live their life on their own terms.

Your parents are the people you love most. They're always there for you, and you can talk to them about anything. They have so much wisdom to share about love, marriage, and family. It's like having a family meeting, where you can hear about their experiences and learn from them.

I really hope this has been helpful for you, and for the world! And I just want to say, I love you ?

If you'd like to keep chatting, just click 'Find a coach' in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to keep talking with you one-on-one!

Good morning,

I would like to express my envy first. The age of 19 is a period of significant personal growth and development. When I reflect on my experience at that age, I recall being a reserved individual with a strong sense of ambition and a vision for the future. Despite my efforts to enhance my personal growth, I also felt constrained by the expectations of the external environment. However, I managed to find ways to express my unique qualities and contribute to the world in a modest yet meaningful way.

If I were in my current position, I would advise the 19-year-old version of myself to pursue opportunities for enjoyment, exploration, and diverse experiences, while embracing a more enthusiastic and dynamic approach to life.

I apologize for the digression. You mentioned that you have spent the majority of your life alone and that you enjoy solitude.

From a fundamental perspective, you exhibit pessimistic tendencies and have not been happy for an extended period. You value autonomy and avoid situations that restrict your freedom.

You feel that you are not as intelligent as you would like to be, and that the world is unduly harsh on individuals who are not as intelligent as it deems necessary. Reading these words, I am reminded of a child who grew up in isolation. You may be highly sensitive, and it seems that you still have a great deal of sadness. You feel somewhat disappointed with the world.

It is possible to perceive that the world, and potentially those in one's immediate circle, may assess the value of individuals based on criteria such as intelligence. There may also be a sense that if one does not meet certain standards, they may be overlooked or even dismissed.

There is a discrepancy between your self-perception and the external perception of you. You may experience disappointment and sadness due to a perceived discrepancy between your actual self and the external perception of you. The external perception may be influenced by a set of standards that are perceived as superior to your actual self.

It is possible that these feelings of pessimism and isolation originate from a lack of genuine understanding and visibility. When one feels misunderstood and detached from their social circle, it can lead to a sense of disappointment and sadness.

A sense of lacking roots or attachments. It's as if you were a passive observer, witnessing the less favorable aspects of the world, feeling that you don't belong, don't want to belong, and prefer solitude, engaging in a straightforward activity that aligns with your values.

I postulate that your unease regarding marriage and children may be rooted in the aforementioned emotional state.

It appears that the prospect of marriage and childrearing may help to resolve this internal issue. Marriage represents a transition from a state of loneliness to a more connected and fulfilling relationship with another individual.

Children represent an even greater responsibility and bond. It is possible that you have no hope of ever truly connecting with another person.

Marriage and having children appear to be a significant concern for you at this time. They seem to pose a substantial risk to your emotional well-being, potentially triggering feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. This is likely why you are seeking to address this issue at the age of 19. You may be considering discussing the matter with your parents or making a decision not to get married and have children in the future. This could be a way of removing a source of anxiety for your heart.

It is important to note that the prospect of marriage and childrearing is not an imminent concern at this stage of your life. However, the mere mention of this distant event may have already caused some unease in your heart. This is why it has been placed on the agenda so early, in the hope of resolving this issue.

It is possible that your unease is not about marriage and children, but about leaving your solitary state and connecting deeply with other people. You may be pessimistic about this.

It is possible that you are experiencing a sense of isolation and a lack of connection with others. This can lead to feelings of being alone and misunderstood.

If your inner sense of loneliness is not acknowledged, it can manifest as a perception of the external world as cold and unwelcoming. This can lead to a sense of being alone and lacking a sense of connection.

It is important to recognize that feelings of loneliness often originate from an inner self that is not seen or connected to itself.

My experience has shown me that the ability to form deep connections and gain a deeper understanding of others is contingent upon first developing a strong sense of self-awareness and self-connection. This entails recognizing and embracing the unique identity and qualities that define you in every moment, regardless of how you may appear to others.

It is possible that you may feel that you lack the requisite intelligence, that you are mediocre, that you are sad, that you are upset, that you are not attractive, or that you are vulnerable. Regardless of your circumstances, you can take the time to understand, accept, and be with yourself in a positive way. You can also take the time to appreciate your own existence and to accept yourself fully.

This will result in a deep sense of happiness arising spontaneously from within. When you deeply see and understand yourself, you will naturally be able to deeply understand and accept those around you. You will naturally be able to establish a genuine connection with those around you, which will be very nourishing and happy, and will not become a fetter.

However, the more challenging aspect is to acknowledge the genuine, imperfect self and to confront and accept the vulnerable self with its inherent fears and needs.

I apologize for not addressing the question of marriage and children. However, I believe this is a topic that warrants further discussion. I hope my input is helpful. Best regards,

Hello, young lady. I can see you're feeling a bit confused, and I'm here to offer you a hug.

I believe what you are experiencing now are some issues related to your personal development. If I may, I would like to offer you a warm hug again.

It might be helpful to consider whether your current feelings about marriage and children are influenced by your family of origin.

I'm curious about what your parents' marriage was like.

Could you tell me a little more about their relationship?

If the relationship is not particularly harmonious, you may feel that marriage could be a hindrance to love and therefore choose not to pursue it.

If this is the case, you might benefit from seeking professional psychological counseling.

It's also possible that you haven't yet met the person you're looking for.

I can relate to the feeling of not thinking you'll ever get married, like I did before I met my husband.

It wasn't until I met my current husband that I began to consider the possibility of married life.

I think that when you meet the right person in your life, your views on marriage may evolve.

I would gently suggest that you reconsider your current outlook. You mentioned that you have ruled out marriage and children, but perhaps there is room for a more positive perspective.

I truly hope that you will be able to find a solution to the problem you are facing soon.

I hope these suggestions are helpful and inspiring to you. I'm sorry I can't think of more at the moment.

I hope my answers above will be helpful and inspiring to you. I am here to offer my support and I study hard every day.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to you and wish you the best.

Give the questioner a big hug from afar!

Let's dive into the questioner's description!

I'm 19 years old, a second-class university student, and I'm teaching! I've never been in love and don't expect to be, but I'm excited about my future!

I value spiritual things and I'm excited to explore them! I hate being bound, but I'm open to new experiences.

I've decided not to get married because I don't like anyone and I don't want children. However, if I did get married and didn't have children, it would cause my partner a lot of trouble and pain. I'm happy to say that I don't want him to change for me, so I just don't get married!

I'm a realist, and I'm not the smartest person. I haven't been happy for many years, but I'm excited to see what the future holds! Spending time with my parents and best friend is enough for me.

I'm not looking to get tied down!

I'm so excited to have a serious talk with my parents! Even though I won't be getting married, I'm going to live my life to the fullest and work hard to be happy.

I really hope they can accept my choice!

A message to the original poster:

First of all, I absolutely love that the questioner has such in-depth thoughts about his life!

At 19 years old, you have already chosen your own path for the future and know exactly what you want. This is an amazing advantage that not many people have!

You know what you want, and that's great! The only problem is that your parents don't approve of your current thoughts. But here's the thing: getting married or not is just a choice of lifestyle. We can choose different lifestyles, but we also have to consider what preparations we need to make for our future lives alone.

Even if you've already made up your mind and are determined to go down this path, try communicating with your parents!

This is a conflict of values, and it is a challenge for both sides to convince the other in the short term. But one thing is certain: if you are determined to go your own way, there is nothing your parents can do to stop you. At some level, they just want you to be happy, and another part of it may be that they want to arrange your life because of the influence of worldly views. So this is a core conflict. In the process, you need to understand how your parents' own marriage is like. Both sides can have more communication about their views on marriage and love, which is a great opportunity for you to learn more about your parents' perspectives.

"I've never been in love and don't expect to be. I value the spiritual."

I've never been one for being tied down, and I like my freedom. I've spent a lot of time on my own since I was a kid, and I usually like it that way. I'm not interested in marriage because I don't have any romantic feelings towards anyone, and I don't want kids. But if I got married without having kids, it would cause too much trouble and pain for my partner, and I don't want him to change for me, so I just don't get married.

I hope you can choose one career for your whole life! I'm a pessimist at heart, and I'm not the smartest person. I haven't been happy for many years...

...

"

Your language is too negative and pessimistic. It seems like you're making judgments based on your own views, but it's possible that your views will change. You've been influenced by your education, family background, and society, so your views might be a little distorted.

1. Everyone looks forward to love. People are curious about the unknown and want to experience it. But after facing reality, we often lose that optimism. We deceive ourselves by not expecting anything and not hoping for anything, which can make it difficult to find balance.

However, you feel unworthy or complain about society because you think you don't have what others have. What you really need to adjust is your own state of mind.

2. Not getting married and having children is a personal choice. If you meet someone who thinks the same way as you, you'll probably end up together. But that doesn't mean that your way of thinking will be accepted by others. It may just be a reflection of your current state of mind.

Once you meet someone you like, or someone who likes you, your standards and ideas will probably change. So don't set too many limits on yourself.

3. Parents both want their kids to be happy. They can't stick around forever, and they'll be gone before you know it. They won't make you do things you don't want to do, but they will worry about whether you'll be happy without them.

We can choose our own lifestyle, but we can't base our happiness and freedom on the suffering of others, especially our loved ones.

To you with grand plans, I've got a few tips and tricks to share with you!

1. He was already studying at a second-tier university at 19! He's an excellent child who has grown up to be an adult.

2. You're such a smart, perceptive young lady! I wish I had your depth of thought when I was your age.

3. You've chosen a great major, and I can see that you're doing really well in your career. I'm sure you'll become an amazing teacher in the future and have lots of successful students!

4. I just had to say congratulations on having parents who love you. You are such a sweet, filial child, and it's so touching to see.

5. It's totally okay if you don't want to get married! It's your life, and you should do what makes you happy. Just remember that the people who love you will respect your thoughts and feelings, no matter what.

6. When it comes to whether or not to tell your parents, or when to tell them, my advice is to take your time. It's the school year, so there's no need to rush. It's important to focus on the task at hand, and I'm here to support you every step of the way!

7. Marriage and love require fate. If one day, you meet someone and let go of your insistence to accept a relationship, it is also unpredictable. There are no absolutes in the world, so don't worry! Just go with the flow, don't cling to it, and don't give up, just go with the flow.

I know it can be tough, but try to keep a sense of detachment. This will help you not to feel pressured and to stay calm.

I wish you all the best in your own career and in building the life you want!

Hello, landlord!

I understand the owner's thoughts. Everyone has the right to choose the life they want!

Life is the result of choices.

You must accept the consequences of your choice, whether you make it actively or passively.

The host is now 19 years old, and life is just beginning.

The future will undoubtedly bring more challenges.

I believe that the host may face some challenges in the future if they choose to remain single. Similarly, there may be difficulties if they choose to get married.

I'm simply expressing my personal opinion for your reference.

You have the right to choose to be single.

You need to get past your parents first.

If your parents have a very traditional mindset and believe that a happy life is only one where you have married and had children,

At first, there will be a lot of friction and conflict. The original poster can convince her parents, even if they don't support her.

You need to make your parents accept your choice without causing a rift in the relationship.

Filial piety is the foremost of all virtues. As a child, you should do more to make your parents feel at ease and reassured, and do less to make them worry.

But being single doesn't mean you're not filial. You can choose to be happy whether you get married or not.

Parents want their children to be happy and for their lives to be fulfilling.

Second, you'll have to navigate the relatives and friends hurdle.

Once you've passed the test of your parents and a few years have passed, your friends and classmates will all have gotten married and had children.

They're all busy with their husbands and children, so they won't be able to talk to you much about parenting issues.

Your relationship with your parents may gradually become distant. When you see their envious looks, you must remain unshaken and stay true to your original choice.

And finally, we must address the issue of elderly care.

We don't raise children to support ourselves in old age, but we will have to rely on them to a greater or lesser extent.

You may not be financially dependent in your old age, or you may end up unable to move.

You need to decide who you want by your side when you go to the hospital. At the very least, you want someone who can help you with the admission formalities.

You choose to get married.

Let's be real, marriage has its challenges.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a crucial aspect of marriage.

After marriage, the most difficult hurdle for a woman is not only related to her own personality and values.

The mother-in-law's personality and values also play a significant role.

If you can get past this hurdle, you'll be fine. If you can't, life will be miserable.

Childbirth

The man's family values passing on the family name, and the woman goes through labor for ten months, saying that giving birth is a trip from the gates of hell.

The period of adjustment and the period of monotony are inevitable.

The birth of a child transforms a two-person world into a three-person one, with the majority of time devoted to the child.

It's easy to neglect each other's needs and feelings, and conflicts are bound to arise. Life gradually becomes dull, passion fades, and the sense of responsibility towards the children intensifies.

There is no doubt that the joy of raising children outweighs the hard work.

Old age is the final stage of life.

You have survived the teething problems and the period of monotony. Your children have grown up, gone to university, got married, and had children of their own.

And you will enjoy the happiness of old age with your spouse.

However, this is not a given. There is also the possibility that your relationship with your partner will break down during the adjustment period, and that your later years will be miserable.

In other words,

You can choose to be single or get married.

You will face many problems along the way.

The landlord decides which problems are more bearable.

You still choose to do it after anticipating future problems.

You will never feel fear or dread, no matter what kind of life you choose.

I refuse to choose any of them and I refuse to be a part of any of them.

I wish you a happy life!

I am warm June, and I love you, the world!

Hello!

Host:

I am Zeng Chen, a heart coach. I have read the post carefully, and I can feel the complexity of your feelings, and I am excited to help you work through them!

I also want to commend you for being so courageous and proactive in expressing your doubts. This is a great step forward in understanding yourself better and making choices that align with your true desires.

I'm really excited to share my observations and thoughts in the post, which I think will help the original poster to look at the issue from a more diverse perspective!

1. Story

After reading your post, I was instantly reminded of the incredible story of the actress Sun Li! In an interview, Sun Li once said, "At one time, she was also prepared not to get married, and the reason seemed to have something to do with her upbringing."

"It was only later when she met Deng Chao that she chose to get married. In this story, Sun Li's perception has changed, and it's so inspiring to see how her views evolved!

And this is a totally normal cognitive development!

Our perceptions change as we gain new and different experiences, which is a wonderful thing! In the post, the original poster mentioned that they are now 19 years old and going to university. At this time, we have plans and thoughts about the future, which is great. But maybe we don't have to set limits for ourselves right now—the world is our oyster!

This also reminds me of the incredible author of "The Second Sex," Beauvoir. She was an unmarried person who firmly defended her beliefs right from the start!

But after meeting the other half, he also changed his beliefs for the better! And after getting married, he wrote the masterpiece, "The Second Sex."

I want to make one thing clear: I'm not saying the original poster's thoughts are wrong.

Instead, let's look at ourselves from a broader perspective!

2. Get ready to sort out your own views on marriage!

The original poster mentioned in the post that they have never been in love and don't expect love. They value the spiritual level of things, which is really cool!

He's a free spirit who loves having the space to explore and grow. He's spent a lot of time on his own since childhood and is perfectly content with that. He's not interested in getting married because he's not ready to settle down and he's not looking to have kids. But if he did get married without having kids, it would be a big change for his partner, and he's not looking to change who he is for anyone else. So, he's just going to keep doing his own thing!

After reading this information, you can first understand the thoughts of the original poster. But here, perhaps we can sort it out together and make some assumptions—and it's going to be a great process!

This may help the original poster understand themselves better. Let's take a look together! Imagine there's someone who respects you, has a good spiritual connection with you, doesn't restrict you too much, gives you personal space, and doesn't want children.

So, what would you choose in this situation? This kind of hypothesis and association is a great way to help the poster explore and understand themselves better!

3. Absolutely, you should definitely try to listen to your parents!

The original poster mentioned in the post that they'd like to have a good talk with their parents. Although they won't be getting married, they're excited to live and work seriously and be happy!

I really hope they'll accept my choice! We all want our parents to accept and understand our choices.

If parents can support us, that would be the best state of affairs!

And what if the parents have different opinions? That's totally normal! The original poster can find common ground by chatting about different topics.

It's so important to listen to what your parents are thinking and see how they react!

This way, communication may be less intense, which is great! We can then proceed to the next step of communication based on their response.

Absolutely! You should definitely pay attention to the methods of communication. If the host is interested, they can definitely check out the communication model in "Nonviolent Communication," which I think will be really helpful!

I really hope these ideas will be of some help and inspiration to you!

Hello! You asked when you should talk to your parents.

You said you've never been in love and don't have anyone you like. My advice is to meet someone you like, experience a breakup, and talk to your parents again. It's never too late.

If you talk about it now, mature parents will agree with you on the surface, but they'll secretly laugh at you for not growing up yet and still being able to rely on you. They'll also expect you to go back on your word in the future.

Some parents may worry that you will go your own way, but they can't accept this and will inevitably try to instill their values in you. Don't turn your parents into your teachers too early!

Some parents may need to grow up and accept that their children will not fulfill their unfulfilled dreams. When this happens, they may become depressed and more likely to treat their children harshly, leading to disharmony in their family relationships and becoming a new source of worry in their lives.

You say you are pessimistic at heart, and your writing shows this to be true.

A thoughtful and rational girl, these thoughts are the result of careful consideration. The idea of not getting married among young people nowadays is definitely not an isolated phenomenon.

It must be a product of the times. The divorce rate has remained high in recent years, and life is too stressful. The older generation has not set a good example for the younger generation. Many middle-aged people who have been married for 20 years still do not understand how to run a marriage. Young people cannot experience a happy marriage, and the Internet is constantly filled with scandals of infidelity.

Another point that should be considered is that there are so many other things for young people to do that falling in love is a waste of time and energy. Therefore, not getting married may be the wise choice.

But the fact is, we humans are social creatures, and we are meant to live in relationships. Being single is a choice, but more importantly, it is a choice for a period of time. Good luck to all the young people out there.

Hello! I just wanted to give you a big hug and encouragement. Reading your content made me feel like I've met another me in the world! I'm so happy to share this with you. I'm about to graduate from university, and I'm so lucky that, like you, I have parents who love me very much. I've discovered that sometimes parents may have guessed your plans before you even say anything!

My family is so supportive! When I told them I was getting married, they were not only not surprised, but they also seemed to know about it a long time ago. They told me not to put pressure on myself, which I really appreciated. Over the years (I was in high school when I talked to them about this), they would actually reassure me every now and then when we talked about life. They said I didn't need to get married and have children, that my life was my own, and that I would decide for myself whether to fall in love, pursue a career, or what path to take in the future, as long as I was happy. If I feel happy being alone, then I will continue to enjoy my solitude. When I want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, I will go after love courageously. Never be bound by set facts, and never be blinded by the current situation.

You're 19, probably a sophomore, and you're not looking for a relationship right now. That's totally okay! But it might be a good idea to start thinking about your future. When you have that open heart-to-heart with your parents, you can also let them know that you're a very clear-headed and rational person. Parents just want the best for their kids, and they're probably worried about your future. When you're young, you should just go for it and do whatever you want to do. So don't miss that urge to have that open heart-to-heart talk with your parents. Whenever you feel ready, really want to talk about it, just go and talk to them. Maybe after the talk, not only your parents, but even you yourself will suddenly realize that this may also be a kind of growth.