A 24-year-old woman, confused about the future and family relationships?

You are 24 and still young, but confused and uncertain. As adults, we can differentiate from our original families and break away from yours.

Your parents divorced young, and you don't talk to them much. Parent-child relationships can affect you later in life. You may not want to go to work now, and this sense of boredom may also be related to your parents.

Relying on your parents at home makes you feel good. It's nice to get what you want without having to work for it. Meanwhile, your father and aunt have a new family, and you feel like you're part of it.

You don't take the initiative to get involved. You don't communicate with them about many things. You're not sure what your main complaint is.

You can think about improving your relationship with your family, finding more motivation to work, or finding a better boyfriend. Everyone has their own path to follow. Find the path you want to develop and take the Life Background Psychological Test to figure out your inner thoughts.

ZQ?

Good day.

The original poster:

After a thorough review of the post, it is evident that the author is experiencing a range of emotions, including sadness and confusion. It is also clear that the author has taken the initiative to seek assistance and gain a deeper understanding of their situation.

It would be beneficial to gain a deeper understanding of your father's perspective and adjust your approach to the relationship accordingly.

I will now proceed to share my observations and thoughts on the aforementioned post, which I believe may prove beneficial in helping the poster gain a more comprehensive understanding of the current situation.

1. Learn to seek proof.

From the aforementioned post, it is evident that my father advised my younger sister to resume her studies in a year's time, and that you should also establish a romantic relationship. Despite your advanced age, you have not yet experienced the bond of love and have not yet chosen a life partner. The aforementioned poster has interpreted this as an indication that my father desires you to select a partner with a suitable residence.

I am aware that the host has implemented numerous changes this year with regard to her father and aunt. However, the outcome is as follows.

I empathize with the host's sadness.

However, from an objective standpoint, our perceptions are merely our perceptions. The host may attempt to ascertain the truth by inquiring with her father about his actual thoughts.

It is important to be mindful of the way in which you express yourself. You may choose to engage in lighthearted conversation or to speak with your father directly about your feelings.

This may facilitate a better understanding of your needs on the part of your father.

Furthermore, the post indicated that the individual had previously been a source of burden to their parents. Regardless, their father permitted this behavior. As you have matured, it is evident that you require a substantial amount of resources to navigate this developmental stage.

Furthermore, your father provides that support, does he not? It would be beneficial to seek out these positive resources.

It is not uncommon for men to be reluctant to express their feelings.

2. Do not neglect your own needs.

As noted in the original post, the individual in question is 24 years of age and has been gainfully employed. They have reached the age of maturity.

It is important for adults to take responsibility for their own needs, emotions, and lives. When we require love and attention, we should be able to satisfy those needs ourselves if others are unable to do so.

Even if others are unable or unwilling to provide love and support, you can still love and care for yourself. You are the only person who truly knows yourself and your needs.

You are best positioned to identify the type of love and companionship you require, as well as your individual needs. By addressing these needs, you can fill the inner emptiness that may result from a lack of self-care and self-love.

It is important to understand that while we cannot control other people, we can control ourselves. It is more beneficial to focus on self-development than to rely on others to do so on our behalf.

This places the destiny and emotions firmly in our own hands, which is undoubtedly a more favourable position.

3. First, generate income.

Next, we will address work-related matters. In the current job market, there are numerous employment opportunities, but it can also be challenging to find a position that fully aligns with one's expectations.

In light of the current circumstances, I believe the most prudent course of action is to focus on securing a stable income. Once that is achieved, it will be possible to live independently, regardless of the circumstances.

Is that not correct?

In the case of earning a living, we can work hard to improve ourselves in a number of ways, including professional knowledge, emotional management, interpersonal skills, and personal style. We can all learn and grow. In this way, we may find that we are becoming more confident and attractive.

I hope these words are of some help and inspiration to the original poster. My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a certified psychosynthesis coach.

Hello, dear. From what you've said, it seems like you're struggling with depression. It sounds like you're struggling to find meaning and passion in your life. You seem to be going through the motions each day, without much hope or love in your family.

Let's start with a warm hug and then take a look at what's on your mind.

?

1. Internal conflict:

Internal conflict: 1.

Internal conflict happens when two forces within a person are at odds. It arises when what a person thinks they "should be" clashes with what is actually the case in reality.

Context:

"I should be happy," but I'm not; "I want to fit in with my father's new family," but I don't feel at home...

It seems like there are two sides to you right now, constantly fighting. It's like a tap that's not properly screwed in, dripping non-stop. All that internal conflict is draining your energy.

We all have limited energy, so where is the time and energy to do something more meaningful and important?

If you want to be happy from now on, take a look at what you're trying to hide right now. Pick something that's easy to see, admit your own shortcomings, and get rid of the lies that drain your energy.

Take a good look at what you're proving. Be honest with yourself and admit that what you're proving is actually what you lack.

2. Loneliness:

Loneliness is a feeling that you experience when you feel isolated or alienated from others or society at large.

It's a kind of self-isolation, a severing of connections, a kind of escape. When you isolate yourself from others, you end up feeling pain, like you're in a kind of passive isolation.

The reason for loneliness is that you can't connect with yourself because you can only connect with others and give yourself a good opinion if you connect with yourself.

"Connecting ability" is a key factor in distinguishing loneliness from isolation.

As you mentioned, you experienced your parents' divorce at a young age and didn't have much communication with them. Your introversion is just a way of protecting yourself. Without the love and support of your parents, you learned to protect yourself with your quiet demeanor.

A person's sense of security between the ages of 4 months and 3 years mainly comes from the relationship between the parents, their companionship, and the parenting style. In China, when a parent's marriage fails, it often harms the child, leaving them insecure and lacking the ability to love and connect with others.

Some people don't know how to love or show love, and some don't even know how to accept love. When love comes along, they run away, even though they long for it in their hearts.

Some people don't know how to love or show love, and some don't even know how to accept love. When love comes, they run away, even though they long for it in their hearts.

?

3. Happiness:

3. Happiness:

Happiness comes from the smallest things, not from mountains of gold and silver. The best way to reduce internal conflict is to focus on your inner self and what's going on inside you. When you do that, you'll find that your outer life will improve too.

Emotions can also make us feel happy. Feeling love is happiness, and a deeper level of love is what we call "great love"—compassion.

Emotions can also make us feel happy. When we feel loved, we feel happy, and when we love deeply, we feel great love—compassion.

Emotions are like thoughts in the brain. When we understand our emotions, that's when we feel love.

When our emotions are in a good place, it's love.

When you feel all your emotions, it's important to welcome them. They'll come and go, but if you resist them, they'll become tangled up.

When you accept your emotions, you're essentially experiencing happiness because happiness is all about how you feel.

Why can't you experience happiness?

People often find ways to isolate themselves from the world, which can lead to feelings of loneliness.

For instance, a house has walls, but people don't necessarily need them.

For instance, a house has walls, but people don't need them. You need a sense of security before you can tear down those walls.

It's better to focus on developing yourself than seeking external validation. A person with a strong inner self doesn't need to rely on material things or emotions to feel secure. By embracing their vulnerability, they can connect with others and the world around them.

Happiness comes from focusing on the inside, growing through learning, being our own "significant other," and providing the "psychological nutrition" needed for physical and mental health and growth—a sense of security, the ability to love, and the ability to connect with others.

I hope this is helpful to you, and I want to let you know that I love you and the world loves you too.

I hope this is helpful to you. The world and I love you.

If you want to keep in touch, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'll be in touch and we can work together one-on-one.

Hello, host. I can see from your description that you may be feeling a bit down, unhappy, and powerless, but I also see a more positive you. I feel that your heart is becoming stronger because I can see that you've been responding to the little whales in a serious way, and I'm really touched.

I think you've probably heard the saying, "Unhappy people spend their whole lives trying to recover from their childhood, while lucky people are healed by their childhood for their whole lives."

You may have experienced a lot in your childhood, which also made you feel some unpleasant things. But now that you have grown up, you are slowly being healed by your childhood. It's a wonderful experience and process.

Based on your question, I'd also like to share some heartfelt words with you. I hope they'll warm you up and give you strength.

(1) Parents divorced, lack of communication with them. From this incident, I think what you lacked more as a child was love from your parents. At that time, you were probably still young and had a lot of things you wanted to share with your family, but your father's role was often rational, lacking a bit of warmth, and it was also difficult for you to open up your heart. Over time, these things were buried in your heart, and you became an "introverted" child.

— It's possible that your inner child is still the same introverted one who hasn't grown up. You can do more meditation exercises to connect with her, give her the love she lacked as a child, and let her feel warmth and grow.

(2) I don't want to go to work. It feels meaningless. I'm curious—what are your thoughts on your current job?

Do you think you'll still feel this way? From what you've told me, I can sense a depressed mood. It may be because in the past, many emotions were suppressed inside, so when there is a little disturbance or influence from the outside, it will trigger the consumption of internal energy, which will lead to a sense of powerlessness and weariness.

——These may be due to the fact that when you were a child, your parents were unable to give you that strength, and the lack of an internal link with your parents resulted in a lack of mental strength. However, I can see that you are already changing now, and you can communicate more with your father. This is a very commendable action, and I think you will have even greater gains in the near future.

(3) Your father says he wants you to marry an ordinary man. From what you've said, it seems like you feel your father wants you to spread your wings, but you're not sure you're ready because you think your father might be doing it because your younger sister is coming back to school.

I think my father is not the best at expressing his feelings, but he does care about you. He knows he can't take care of you forever and hopes that someone will love you well. He doesn't expect that person to be rich and famous, just ordinary and kind. I think the topic of "acceptance" is something we all have to learn in our lives: to accept our fathers' ordinariness, to accept our own ordinariness, to accept that we have to grow up, etc.

(4) Your aunt has done a lot for the family. I can see that you are actually very sensible, learning to communicate and learn to contribute to the family. You can see how hard it is for your aunt, and now your attitude towards them has also improved.

This is all about your growth. We're all responsible for our own lives. Nobody can replace us in our pain, tears, sadness, and sorrow. That's how our hearts become stronger and more resilient.

My dear, I'm sending you a big hug. I really hope that everything in your future life is wonderful, just as you wish. ?

Dear Sir/Madam, I am sorry to read your words and feel that they reflect a certain sadness.

The less than optimal experiences from your childhood have had a certain impact on you. Family relationships were not harmonious, you observed your parents' divorce, and you transitioned from acceptance to change, from indifference to helplessness.

The questioner appears to be preoccupied, yet he presents his thoughts in a calm and assertive manner.

Despite residing with my father, we seldom engage in in-depth discussions. Conversely, I observe that my father, despite his limited financial resources, is burdened by numerous concerns.

This year, the questioner took the initiative to implement changes, establish communication, and contribute to household tasks. While many aspire to a life of poetry and dreams, we are simply ordinary individuals striving for a simple and happy life.

??

I am also interested in the questioner's dating and marriage prospects. It is my hope that the questioner will meet someone who can provide happiness, care, and protection. I am confident that this will happen.

The two previous unsatisfactory relationships were merely paving the way for a more fulfilling one.

It is important to remember that the ultimate objective is to achieve happiness. It is advisable to avoid rushing into marriage.

It is important to be thoughtful and rational in your communication with your family. Prepare well for discussions, choose your words carefully, express your feelings honestly, and engage in constructive dialogue.

I would like to extend my best wishes to the original poster for success in all future endeavors.

Hello, question asker!

I've read through your issues and I get it. You feel helpless about your family's situation and confused about your future. Let me give you a warm hug first. ?

We're just chatting and having a conversation.

You're 24 now. You can start to become more independent, both mentally and financially. Give it your best shot, even if it's tough or you're tired. It's not a good idea to rely on your parents. Your dad's financial situation isn't great, and how long can he rely on you?

2. From what you've told me, it seems like your family life wasn't very good. You grew up experiencing your parents' divorce, and now you're living in a reconstituted family. Your relationship with your family members is average, not very close, and there's not much communication. You don't usually help your family with household chores. So, it seems like, in your upbringing, no one guided you correctly to help you establish a good outlook on life, and that's why you now have so many confusions and problems. But the good news is that you've become aware of these problems and want to make a change.

3. It seems like you haven't really figured out your outlook on life and values yet. At this age, you should be pretty independent and mature. After reading what you wrote, I feel really sad and sorry for you. It's easy to imagine what kind of experiences you had as a child. My advice is: don't waste your time when you should be working hard.

4. You said you're worried about people talking behind your back, which shows you're still quite sensitive. You care a lot about what others think and say about you. But despite your worries, have you really done anything about it? You can't control what others say about you, but you can try to change yourself, to become a better person, and do what you should do. Don't worry about the rest.

5. Your father was right—it's not realistic for you to find a man and get married right away. But you can still communicate well with them, express your true thoughts, and let them understand and sympathize with you. After all, you are family, so don't treat yourself like an outsider. This way, you won't always feel such psychological pressure, and the internal conflict won't be too great, which will still have a very negative impact on your physical and mental health.

6. About the future: We don't know what the future holds, but there are definitely opportunities and challenges. There may be gains, but there may also be setbacks. Don't worry about the future; just work hard! You can set yourself a goal and keep working towards it. Reward yourself when you achieve it, and you'll be more motivated.

The fact that your family is getting smaller is a real problem. You can work hard to improve your life and rent your own place. That way, you won't just marry someone just because you have nowhere to live. What do you think?

In short, you have to live well, work hard, and everything will be fine!

I hope this helps. All the best!

Hello, question asker.

I just want to give you a hug right now. I want to focus on you for a minute and show you that you matter.

There's no right or wrong when it comes to domestic matters, but there are feelings of love and lack of love.

From what you've told me, it seems like you're still feeling a bit anxious and fearful.

After your father and aunt got married, they had a daughter, your younger sister. Your younger sister needed to live with her parents after school, and you, the original resident of this family, were a little fearful that you would be displaced, as if you had been abandoned, and twice too. The first time was when your parents divorced without consulting you, and you became what you didn't want to become. This time, your father also ignored your feelings and told you to move out.

Your father's advice was to get married right away and have a place to live, but he didn't say much else. It seems like he'd been putting up with and backing down all along and hadn't gotten anything in return. From your father's advice, you can sense that in his eyes your love is unrealistic.

So, after two failed relationships, your father's advice is to find a man who is honest and practical. This also makes you anxious, obviously. What kind of person is your father talking about?

You haven't learned this lesson from your life script. Marriage is your experience of your parents' divorce. So, when you're looking for a partner, you feel that someone will be unconditionally good to you to make up for that part of the loss. But if the other person keeps giving but doesn't get a signal or response from you, their energy is also limited, and they'll want to escape this pattern of love.

Two people together are like a battery with a cathode and an anode. They provide a long-lasting source of energy for each other.

At this point, rather than feeling sad, it would be more productive to consider how you can live independently.

This is something you need to think about right now. Your father just tells you that you've grown up and that you need to be more independent. Maybe you're not ready to grow up on the inside, but you have to do it overnight. It's tough, but you have to do it.

It's also worth noting that what others say about you doesn't matter much. We all have a tendency to see ourselves in a certain way, and others often have different perceptions.

Everyone's different, and the worst part is that they all have their own opinions.

The best way to get them to see you differently is to become your own person. When you move from being dependent on others to being someone who can help them, it shows that you can take control of your life.