A 30-year-old single woman feeling depressed, how can I get out of it?

Firstly, the fact that a member of the opposite sex is pursuing you indicates that there must be something about you that the other person recognises. Given that the other person has a family, it is possible that he is simply seeking to satisfy his physical needs and is therefore willing to trade material things in exchange.

However, it is evident that you are experiencing feelings of distress and a sense of helplessness, and it is clear that you are rejecting his unreasonable demands. Nevertheless, your actions demonstrate that you possess a set of positive values.

In a recent study, the Global Sexual Happiness Index Survey revealed that 70% of Chinese individuals expressed dissatisfaction with their sexual lives. Additionally, Professor Pan Suiming of Renmin University of China found that one in every four couples reported experiencing a lack of sexual intimacy in their marriage.

The ratio is noteworthy.

In reality, men are inclined to pursue women they find attractive, particularly those who are physically appealing. For wives, some men believe that after having children, their wives will prioritize their children and may consequently disregard their husbands' feelings, which can lead to infidelity on the part of the husbands.

It is therefore recommended that the criteria for choosing a spouse be conveyed to him in a reply.

First and foremost, it is my hope to find a man who possesses a positive outlook on life and a sense of responsibility. While the law can undoubtedly protect the institution of marriage, it is ultimately incapable of holding a person's heart.

Secondly, love is the precursor to marriage, and there are six experiences that are inherent to the marital experience: the pain of childbirth, the pain of the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the seven-year itch, marital grievances, the fatigue associated with raising children, and the hardship of parenting. It is my hope that my future spouse will be able to navigate these experiences with me.

3. If I remain in this relationship, where is our future? I am not willing to sacrifice my happiness for the sake of avoiding the pain of another woman.

4. The family of the man I like must possess the following qualities: 1. Understanding and harmonious; 2. Filial and grateful; 3. Positive and progressive.

5. Some individuals assert that a life devoid of matrimony is incomplete. However, it is challenging to ascertain whether any individual's life is, in fact, complete.

The question thus arises as to whether married life is necessarily happy. Finally, gratitude is extended for the love demonstrated. It is this writer's preference to be regarded as a work partner, and it is hoped that a mutually satisfactory working relationship can be established.

I am curious to know your opinion on this matter.

Dear Question Asker,

It appears that the company's vice president conveyed his ambiguous sentiments to you.

This resulted in an emotional breakdown.

Is this an accurate interpretation?

The perception of oneself as a more traditional girl

Such harassment has the potential to cause significant distress and negatively impact one's emotional well-being.

It is evident that the emotional crisis may be associated with interactions with the opposite sex.

Furthermore, the question of how intimacy is established is also pertinent.

The issue of sexual morality was also a factor in this situation.

Ultimately, your sexual morality and perception of appropriate contact with the opposite sex were both affected.

When an individual adheres to traditional gender roles and interacts with the opposite sex in a conservative manner, the likelihood of being victimized by that same sex increases.

Such circumstances may evoke feelings of being overwhelmed, which in turn may prompt uncertainty regarding the appropriate response.

Should one concede too readily, the possibility exists that the other party may exploit the situation to their advantage.

If one engages in a courageous defense but is preoccupied with one's own safety, one may inadvertently create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What is the most effective method for disrupting this pattern?

The initial consideration is:

In the absence of any prior contact, it may be the case that

Anxiety is a result of an overestimation of the likelihood of catastrophic events.

Or alternatively, the assumption that such events have already occurred.

In such a case,

It is possible that this is related to your own hypersensitive personality traits.

In the event of such an occurrence, it would be prudent to consider the following:

What measures can be taken to prevent further damage and ensure one's protection?

From the material, it appears that the level of shock was minimal.

In such a scenario, it is imperative to exercise greater caution in the future to safeguard one's well-being.

In the event that the individual in question persists in his harassing and inappropriate behavior,

It is imperative to refrain from providing the other individual with any opportunity for fantasy and to decline their advances in a direct and clear manner.

It is imperative that your attitude be decisive.

Secondly, it is imperative to refrain from granting the other individual any degree of privacy, thereby preventing them from exploiting the situation to their advantage.

It would be prudent to exercise caution when he attempts to gain access to your personal space by invoking the pretext of work.

It may be advisable to bring along a few colleagues, if necessary.

Thirdly, in the event that the individual in question persists in his refusal to express remorse despite the advice provided,

It would be prudent to consider the possibility of seeking legal protection.

It is also important to consider the preservation of evidence.

Ultimately, if an internal conflict persists and escape from it seems impossible,

If the individual displays emotional vulnerability, experiences significant disruptions in sleep patterns, and exhibits a notable decline in their capacity to engage in daily social functions, it may be necessary to consider the possibility of a traumatic syndrome.

If this is the case, it would be advisable to seek the guidance of a qualified professional.

I am Counselor Yao, and I will continue to provide you with support and assistance.

I am Counselor Yao, and I will continue to provide you with support and assistance.

Some people say shocking things that affect your inner values. They may seem nice, but they don't really care about you. Maybe they just want your body, even if they say they like you. They have a family.

It's wrong for a married man to say such things to other women. Don't give him the chance to hurt you. You're rejecting him, and you don't need to waste your work on him.

Thirtysomething unmarried women are depressed.

Often suffer from insomnia, overeat, and don't want to do anything.

You're exhausted and just want to sleep. The vice president wants to chat with you.

Depression

Internal conflict

Know your work plan. Work is the most important thing. Everything else is just a passing cloud.

Professional rationality and certainty are important in the workplace.

We all have weaknesses.

figuring out your own position takes work.

Maybe he's just using his wealth and power to get started. He might seduce you through his connections. You might feel embarrassed during the process. He might take advantage of you.

He blames himself but also makes unreasonable demands. He wants you to be his mistress, which is terrifying. He hasn't thought this through.

You have your own thoughts.

We can't look directly at the values of such people. We also need to stay away from them.

He thinks like an open relationship. He knows you can't be someone else's mistress because it's demeaning and will mess up your life.

You are already very broken inside, and there may be too much discomfort. If possible, get psychological counseling. See what you need, find glory in work without relationships, prepare for rejection, and find a good backup job. Also, talk to a heart exploration coach.

ZQ?

Hello there, I totally get where you're coming from.

I can see you're in a tricky spot right now. I totally get it. You don't want to lose your job, upset your boss, or become someone's plaything.

Your persistence and choice have actually protected you, and they fully demonstrate your dignity and principles. It is precisely by adhering to this bottom line that you have left yourself ample room to properly handle problems in the future. You're doing great!

You have your own career, your own standards for choosing a spouse, your own principles, and your own social circle. If you feel satisfied and comfortable and are willing to live this way, just stick with it, my friend!

In life, people and things like the vice president are just an episode for you, allowing you to experience the dangers and difficulties of the world and learn a lot of lessons. From another perspective, it's also a good thing!

I really think you should talk to your parents or your best friend. It would be great if you could tell them how you feel and what you're thinking. They'll be able to give you some really good advice.

Secondly, stick to your principles and look after yourself. That's your greatest asset!

Third, try to keep your distance. Before you know it, they'll naturally stay away from you, and your colleagues will stop gossiping.

Fourth, if they're pushing you hard, changing units or locations is a great option. If they don't let you stay here, there will be other places that will. You can still live a happy and enjoyable life!

I truly believe you can handle these problems and create a wonderful life for yourself.

I'm so happy to be able to help you with this second issue!

Dear Hello, I'm thrilled to share some responses to your questions!

First, let's talk about harassment by a superior.

I absolutely believe that every woman should speak up when she experiences harassment in the workplace. I know that the other person is the boss, the deputy general manager, but before becoming a boss, he must first be a person.

His demands on you and even his behavior seem to me not only rude but also lacking any basic sense of decency. If I were not here, I might say something that is a bit too strong, but your boss not only has no concept of marriage, but also shows a great deal of disrespect for women themselves.

But you have done nothing wrong! I agree with you, and I'm here to support you in staying in your job.

The good news is that you can resolve this! The experience is still there, but you can choose to let it be on your mind or not. If you don't resolve it, it will have a big psychological impact on you in the future. But if you do resolve it, you can move forward with your life and career!

Moreover, according to our labor law, the employer has the right and obligation to protect the legitimate rights and interests of the workers, which is great news for you! Resignation will distance the employer from the victim and bring the employer closer to the abuser, which unfortunately puts you in a disadvantaged position when defending your legitimate rights and interests in the future.

This will do you no good, but there are plenty of other options out there that will help you!

And when it's the right time, go for it! Take legal action to protect yourself. You deserve to be treated with respect in the workplace.

I firmly believe that the other party's behavior constitutes sexual harassment. I'm excited to share three key pieces of advice!

(1) Get that evidence! Audio or video, whatever you need to have proof, go for it! And don't forget to get those chat records.

(2) Consult a lawyer! Both China's Civil Code and Labor Law clearly stipulate that employers should protect individuals.

I have a feeling that I know what's going on here. I think you're afraid of being the center of attention. You're worried about being the subject of people's gossip, so you've never spoken up. But this kind of torment has been eating away at you, taking root and sprouting. This is not good for you. It will only torture your nerves.

My dear, you absolutely have to express yourself! You haven't done anything wrong. You didn't agree to his demands. You have to fight for your own peace of mind!

(3) Be brave! You didn't choose to speak up the first time, and it may be difficult to do so later. I understand this conflicted mentality, but you are the one living your life, and staying silent will only make him act more aggressively. So, be brave and speak up!

You can do this! His behavior is just a yoke on you, and you can get rid of it.

Second, let's talk about exhaustion.

I mentioned one reason earlier because the long-term harassment by your supervisor has mentally burdened you.

I think there's another reason, and it's an exciting one! You're constantly subconsciously telling yourself that the other person is your boss and you cannot offend him.

Maybe you're one of those quiet people who didn't know how to solve the problem when it first came up. You may be used to keeping your grievances to yourself, but there are ways to stand up for yourself!

You are tired from all the amazing things you've been doing!

I've got two pieces of advice for you!

(1) Take a temporary leave of absence! The pandemic might be keeping you from going elsewhere, but it's giving you the chance to safely spend a day without work, go to the movies, get a good night's sleep, and listen to music. Do whatever you can to relax!

(2) Talk to your friends at home. If not, I really hope you can get a pet! It could be a flower, a dog, or even a cat.

And there's more, honey! The workplace is changing, and women can now protect their legitimate rights and interests. All you have to do is pick up that weapon and use it!

If you choose to take legal action after collecting all the evidence, even if you have to quit your job, you should also let the company give you the option of compensation. This is your chance to stand up for yourself and get the compensation you deserve!

You absolutely have to learn to stand up for your rights, say what you want, and do what you want! Don't hesitate for a second!

The other party is your boss, but once you leave the company, he is just a person—and a person you can do anything you set your mind to!

You absolutely have to learn to love yourself!

Have a nice weekend!

From your statement, I can see that you are in despair and feeling helpless at the moment your world view collapsed, your questioning of real life, and the shattering of your vision of a beautiful love. But things still happened, and we still have to face it and solve it. I'm glad you were able to use the platform to solve things you couldn't solve on your own.

I will give you the following answers, which I am certain will be helpful.

First, we must address the issue of boundaries in workplace relationships between men and women.

This is a common issue for women in the workplace and it's a problem. If you have a good male boss who's attentive to you, it's hard to resist this kind of charm.

When something like this happens, we have no choice but to advance or retreat. Staying put is not an option. It reflects high emotional intelligence, high psychological quality and tolerance, and the ability to withstand social pressure in case of misunderstanding by others.

I don't know if you've crossed the line, but I can see that you're disgusted by this matter. You want a love, marriage, and family that truly belong to you. You don't want to become someone else's third party, let alone hurt another innocent female. But there are too many scumbags in real life, and they will set us up with traps, making us the target of public opinion. We were also victims originally, but because we lacked social experience, we were pushed to the forefront and became the target of everyone.

First of all, your approach is not contrary to common sense. You didn't want to refuse the leader because you were worried that he would trip us up at work. But it was precisely because of your first compromise that he became more and more demanding.

If something like this happens again, you need to put out the fire before it gets out of control.

Second, find out what he thinks and ask him how he would handle the current situation in the family. Don't be humble or arrogant, and throw the question back at him. His answer will show you who he is and what he's like.

His answer will undoubtedly disappoint you and make you feel incredible. This is normal in the world of men. Men are animals who think with their lower bodies. They need a lover and a confidant in their world. His wife is his lover; you are his lover!

This is what a control freak looks like in a man's mind!

Fortunately, your values are different from his, and you stopped in time. You must be feeling very painful inside, wondering why there are such people and such thoughts in the world.

The world is full of all kinds of things, and we can only find people who share our values as friends. Don't care too much about the rest. He's helping you recognize the dark side of the world.

Second, I'd like to address your current situation and state of mind.

From your statement, it is clear that you are struggling with your current situation. You feel like you're in a dilemma, but you need to make a name for yourself and establish your authority.

Be rational about your feelings for your boss.

You need to make a quick decision without getting too emotionally involved or angering him. We can't afford to get involved with such a villain, but we can avoid them.

You must communicate well with your supervisor. Explain your reasons and your position. Record these words as evidence for the future in case he bites back at you.

If he can part ways amicably, that's the best outcome. If he's a persistent pest, make sure you keep this evidence safe.

Be dedicated to your work.

Work is important, but so is the work environment. It's clear that following such a leader will not lead to a good outcome. It's time to jump out of here, find a more upright leader, learn more professional knowledge, and learn more workplace skills. Just like Dong Mingzhu's assistant, following the example of someone will lead to a similar future. What do you think?

Let's talk about your inner emotions.

You must be feeling really bad right now. This is something that is difficult to overcome no matter who it happens to. But you can overcome it. You have to find a way to face it and solve it. With many things, we can't just see the bad side or the good side; we have to observe the other side as well.

You experienced it and stopped in time. You learned a lesson and understand the world better. This is good for your growth.

You need to give yourself time to heal. Get a new relationship, embark on a new journey, or take on some busy work. Don't give your mind time to dwell on the past.

This is a breakup you don't approve of. It goes against your values.

Take a vacation and go on a trip for a few days. See the beautiful world outside, the beautiful scenery, and everything that is good.

You can and will learn to remember those beautiful moments and forget those unpleasant pasts.

You can change to a new job and start a new career. Follow your heart and be happy! Don't settle for less than you deserve.

You need to get out soon!

Hello! I'd love to hear your thoughts on what has happened in the past six months. From your description, it doesn't seem like there has been any substantial development in your relationship with the vice president. It seems like it has always been his unilateral demands and actions, which is totally normal!

You seem to find it hard to refuse him, and perhaps you are also afraid of refusing him, but at the same time you have to put up with the comments of your colleagues. But guess what? You can do this! You can put your foot down and say no. And you can do it with confidence. You can say, "I appreciate your input, but I've decided to go in a different direction." You can do this!

You can examine yourself: What do you find difficult, what are you afraid of? If you have not developed an intimate relationship with him, if you have not destroyed someone else's family, it is he who is making the mistake, not you. You need to be clear about your position on this point and not blame yourself too much. You've got this!

If it has developed and you feel that you and this person have different worldviews, which is a matter of principle, it is wise to withdraw at any time. You have the right to choose, so don't let yourself get deeper and deeper into it!

In this matter, the vice president has been actively pursuing you and using his position to pressure you. Don't be afraid! This situation basically constitutes workplace sexual harassment. You are the victim, and you must refuse when the time comes. You have recently felt depressed, suffered from insomnia, and used overeating to relieve anxiety and other emotions because you have been caught in self-blame and powerlessness. But you can get out of this rut!

You've got this! The vice president is the one at fault. After you've clearly refused, if he still harasses you, you can report him to the higher authorities. This is to protect your own basic rights.

If you feel like you're having a tough time getting out of a depressed mood and you're struggling with serious insomnia, it's a great idea to check out the psychiatry or psychiatry department of a local specialist hospital for a consultation. You'll be back on track in no time! And while you're there, you can also have a psychological consultation to help you let go of the burden in your heart.

I wish you all the best! Have an amazing day!