A fifth-grade girl enjoys changing rules and threatens her mother with her grandparents?

Good day. I am Strawberry.

From the question and the comments, it is evident that the questioner is a teacher. The role of a homeroom teacher is multifaceted, encompassing not only the imparting of knowledge but also the nurturing of students' physical and mental well-being. The question pertains to a fifth-grade girl, a developmental stage marked by the emergence of strong independent thoughts.

It is often asserted that parents serve as role models for their children. Based on the girl's observed behavior and attitude, it can be inferred that she exhibits characteristics of a spoiled child. It is even conceivable that her conduct at home may be similarly unreasonable.

It can be argued that without the involvement of adults, children are more likely to engage in undesirable behaviors. The environment in which a child grows up and the manner in which they are educated by those around them can have a significant impact on their development.

Following the conclusion of the class period, the girl contacted her mother to request that she collect her. Her mother did not arrive promptly. It is uncertain whether the girl's mother had promised the child at home that she would retrieve her after class, but she did not fulfill her obligation. This behavior should not have occurred on a single occasion. Consequently, the child may have formed the impression that she was being disregarded by her mother. She may have developed alternative perceptions. The mother believes that engaging in other activities is of greater importance than picking up her child.

The girl employs an imperative tone of voice when speaking to her mother. Is this due to the family's proclivity for communicating in this manner, or is it a reflection of the child's imitation of her mother and subsequent treatment of her in a similar fashion?

As the child's homeroom teacher, the question you have posed demonstrates your concern for the child and your desire to provide assistance.

First and foremost, it is imperative to establish communication with the child's mother.

If one wishes to assist a child, it is insufficient to rely on one's own efforts. The relationship between teachers, parents, and children is said to form a triangle, with each member playing a vital role. Consequently, in addition to the aforementioned questioner, parents who can facilitate positive change in their children are of paramount importance.

The questioner can begin by attempting to comprehend the typical interactions between the child and his or her parents. This will assist in identifying the patterns that the child typically exhibits when interacting with family members at home. The questioner's attitude towards the child should not be influenced by the child's attitude towards his or her mother. However, the child's actions, such as attending class at his or her own discretion and providing minimal notice when he or she is uninterested in attending class, can disrupt the questioner's arrangements. Additionally, the child's actions may demonstrate a lack of respect for the teacher and appear arbitrary.

If this persists over an extended period, the child will develop a personality that is challenging to accept, and she will also experience significant social difficulties. It is important for the parents to be made aware that this is not beneficial for the child and to observe how the child's parents respond to this issue.

2. There are three fundamental principles.

With regard to the child's attitude towards the classroom, a lack of motivation to attend class will not only impede their learning progress but also result in the knowledge they should learn remaining at a standstill due to their prolonged absence from the educational setting.

As the child's homeroom teacher, it is the responsibility of the questioner to inform the child that punctuality is expected in accordance with the established class schedule. Respect for oneself and for the authority of the teacher is essential for the child's success in this endeavor. Cooperation from the child's parents is also necessary for the child to understand the importance of following the established class schedule.

3. One must simply do one's best.

The formation of a child's character is primarily the responsibility of the family, with the educator serving as a supporting figure. In this case, the educator's role is to facilitate the process, as certain changes cannot be enforced through mere desire.

The child threatened her mother with physical violence and demanded that she be picked up immediately. She also contacted her grandparents to request that they assault her mother. Based on her behavior, it can be inferred that the child's family members, with whom she has frequent contact, have shaped her character into one that is both domineering and inconsiderate.

This is not a transient phenomenon. If there is a problem with the education in a family, it is likely that the family members will be self-aware. If the child's behavior does not affect other children, then the questioner may choose to continue to be the child's homeroom teacher, identify further opportunities to engage in conversation with the child, and endeavor to impart knowledge regarding the appropriate outlook on life and behavior. It would then be possible to ascertain whether the child is able to accept the content of the conversation.

It is my hope that this response is of some assistance. Best regards,

Hello!

You seem like a responsible homeroom teacher! This child's behavior has caused you some anxiety. Do you feel helpless?

There's nothing you can do?

In the book "Meeting the Unknown Self," everything is divided into three categories: my own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven. This helps to clarify responsibilities and rights.

Let's talk about this. Whose business is it that "she doesn't come to class on time and makes up any excuse for missing school"?

This is between the girl and her parents. Parents like this don't stick to their rules and let their children do whatever they want. This is a lesson for them, and they will have to pay for it in the future. Keep a record of the reasons for the truancy and communicate with the parents. If this continues, it will affect the child's academic performance and growth.

The class teacher can handle this. We can't control everything.

You must have been watching the girl for a while. She's been using her grandparents to blackmail her mother.

These episodes have aroused some emotions. What emotions come to mind? This child's behavior is infuriating.

No one would accept this child's behavior. The girl is separate from her behavior.

We accept the child, but not her behavior. Would it be better to look at it separately?

This way, we won't judge the child too harshly. When we're aware, we may find a bright side to the girl! There must be a reason for her to act this way. After the teacher-student relationship improves, ask the child why she treats her mother this way and what she thinks.

Ask the child directly. They may be able to clear up your doubts. What the child says may be different from what we think. There may be a reason for it.

I hope this helps!

Hello, question asker!

From what you've said, I can see you're confused, helpless and at a loss. I can also sense your desire to change the situation. I hope my analysis will answer your questions and help you solve your problems.

(1) It's worth noting that the questioner, the girl's homeroom teacher, didn't blame her from an authoritative perspective. Instead, they approached it from a seeker's perspective, trying to help the girl improve her character and play a good role in her growth. Let's then analyze and think together.

(2) The girl is very willful, "keeps calling to remind" and "always doesn't come to class for some reason," without the slightest regard for her mother's situation or consideration for other people's feelings. But the mother doesn't consider the child's feelings either, right?

The agreed-upon time came and went, and the parent didn't show up to pick up the child. There was no explanation given. The child then thinks that there's no need for an explanation for truancy. If they don't want to go to school, they won't go.

(3) It's important to remember that nothing is ever as simple as it seems. To get to the root of the problem, we need to be patient and dig deep to look beyond the surface.

I'm not sure if the original poster has noticed that the mother and child are like the person and the mirror. The mother's irresponsibility can also lead to the child's willfulness and misbehavior. And when the child calls and asks his grandparents to beat his mother, is that also a reflection of the mother's parenting style?

Did the mother also make the child aware of her mistakes through violence?

?‍❄️? Kids reflect their moms' issues like a mirror, which is how intergenerational issues play out. But people often focus on the kids, which creates bigger problems. For example, kids may think, "I'm not allowed to be accepted and exist."

At this point, they also need to be affirmed and recognized by the authority figure in their world so that they can affirm their own existence.

(4) The girl's so-called recklessness and wilfulness are also a challenge and test of authority. Maybe she doesn't have a good guide to show her exactly how to deal with "authority," that is, teachers, parents, and other elders. At this time, the question owner needs to step up—whether through the classroom or by setting a good example outside of class—to guide the girl and make her realize that she should respect her elders and not provoke them at will.

(5) When would the questioner know if the girl was skipping class? Could science orientation classes help?

As the name implies, science classes are meant to spark kids' interest in scientific research and scientific thinking. But can they truly pique their interest in science? Or does spending time at school, rather than playing outside, hold more appeal?

Maybe the questioner can understand the girl?

The girl is very individualistic, which makes it tough to guide her. I do think, though, that educating her can help the questioner make great progress. This is also a good test that God has given the questioner.

I hope my answer helps the questioner. Best of luck!

Good day, host. My name is Xiang'er.

After reviewing your description, I have concluded that you are a highly commendable educator. In today's society, where professionalism is often overlooked, you not only fulfill the responsibility of imparting knowledge, but also prioritize the character development of your students outside the classroom. I commend you for your dedication and commitment to your students. However, I am also concerned about the current state of family education.

I empathize with your situation. You have identified behavioral issues with your student and are understandably concerned. You are seeking ways to assist your student but feel constrained in your ability to do so. It is evident that the student's behavior is influenced by the educational guidance he has received within the family.

1. The student's parents did not come to pick up their child, despite prior arrangements. It is unclear why they did not contact the school until after the school day had ended. There may have been a lack of communication between the mother and daughter regarding this matter, resulting in the daughter's misunderstanding of her mother's decision. The daughter was unable to comprehend why her mother was unable to attend. Similarly, the mother did not consider the needs of her child, and the daughter expressed a strong desire for her mother to come and pick her up.

2. The daughter continued to call because her mother did not come to pick her up. This may indicate a lack of trust in her mother's promises, or perhaps a residual effect from a previous experience. It is also possible that the daughter is impatient and wants to exert pressure on her mother.

When her mother did not come to pick her up, the daughter used an "imperative tone of voice" to assert her superiority in the family. She believes that what she says is an order and has a strong desire to control. Additionally, the daughter threatened her mother, saying, "Let grandpa and grandma beat you." If this sentence were to come from a young child, it might be perceived as a lack of understanding. However, a fifth-grader threatening her mother with this sentence indicates that her mother may also have issues in her original family. It is possible that her mother has consistently been the controlled party in her original family. It is also possible that her grandmother and grandfather prioritize their granddaughter, which has led to her mother having no authority at home.

The student frequently fails to attend school with minimal notice. It is my assessment that her family has neglected to establish clear rules regarding education, allowing the student to act at her own discretion and to believe that she is in control of the situation at home.

In writing this, I am deeply concerned that the lack of appropriate family guidance may have had a detrimental impact on this child.

The following are suggestions from Xiang'er.

Arrange a meeting with the parents to discuss the child's situation at home. During this meeting, inform the parents of the current problems the child is facing and the potential consequences. If circumstances allow, conduct a home visit.

While the influence of teachers may be limited, it is nevertheless a factor that should not be overlooked. It is important to demonstrate care and attention to students, communicate with them individually, and listen to their concerns. It is essential to determine whether the student is unaware of the rules or is intentionally violating them. If so, it may be necessary to adjust the approach to address the underlying issue.

Furthermore, it is important to reiterate the school rules, such as the required advance notice for a leave of absence.

In terms of fostering positive relationships with your parents, you may wish to consider providing them with some helpful advice, a brief note, or a small notebook. The notebook can be used to convey your private messages.

I am confident that the student will recognize your concern and appreciation in due course, and I hope that the issues can be resolved as soon as possible.