A friend is staying at my house during their divorce cooling-off period, and they have poor living habits. What should I do if they don't leave?

Hello, question asker!

It sounds like you're quite aggrieved and depressed. You clearly took in your friend, but not only is she ungrateful,

She is also very picky, and some of her bad habits have seriously affected your life. You are excited to see her move out and make a fresh start!

It's so frustrating, isn't it?

Perhaps it would be helpful for you to reflect on this: could her unwillingness to leave be related to your character, behavior, and interactions with her?

To further explain, you don't seem to have made up your mind to get rid of her, and your kindness and weakness have given her reinforcement, making her feel

A tacit consent!

From the information in the material, it seems that she is a type that enjoys being spoiled and doesn't know how to be grateful. But that's okay! We all have our quirks.

And she believes that the whole world must serve her!

How can you break this pattern and make a change?

This is an exciting time! It requires you to consider whether you want to educate and reform her so that she can live with you, or whether you want her to move out completely.

If it's the former, you may get to continue putting up with it for quite some time! You can help her develop good living habits and regular routines through your education and support.

Good living habits and regular routines are key! And of course, you may have to put in more effort, but it'll all be worth it in the end!

If you want her to leave, try this approach:

If you want her to go, you may need to change your attitude and let her know you're ready to take on the world!

First, be honest and open! Try to get her to share the rent, and tell her clearly about your difficulties.

Second, let her know that you're the head of the family and that you're in charge of this small house. If you continue to live there,

And develop good living habits and take on the responsibilities that go with it, such as cleaning the house and cooking.

Third, if she ignores it, she may need to enlist outside help and mobilize the strength of her family, which is a great way to get things done!

If she refuses to change and insists on staying, you may need to consider using the law to protect your rights. This is an exciting step that will help you gain control of the situation!

I do believe that lazy people can be enjoyable people, and I agree with this point. We can only truly recognize a person's true colors after a long period of time. It does seem that this friend sometimes just lies around all day playing on her phone and doing nothing.

It appears that she may be relying on you for childcare. She is not currently employed and does not seem to have plans to move out and find her own place. This is not an ideal situation. She is an adult woman going through a divorce and should consider setting boundaries for herself. Even close relatives should be clear about their financial arrangements, and even sisters should maintain a distance.

♠Your friend is currently residing with you during the divorce cooling-off period, and it seems that she may have developed some less desirable habits.

♠You rent a room in a house.

♠She tends to sleep in until noon and doesn't go to work.

It would be beneficial to consider setting some boundaries to ensure a healthy and productive relationship moving forward.

I hope you're enjoying this.

In addition, as friends, the other person has been spending time here, and it has become apparent that she has a number of flaws, including a tendency to be lazy, not wash the dishes or mop the floor regularly, and to be selfish at times, without considering the feelings of others.

It might be helpful to talk to a friend about one of her future plans.

It would be helpful for her to think about what she wants to do in the future.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether it might be beneficial to take the initiative to say something firm to encourage her to take action.

It would be best for her to find somewhere else to live if she doesn't want to pay rent. If she wants to stay, she'll have to pay rent and utilities. It might also be helpful to discuss their lifestyles, sleeping habits, and cleaning schedule.

You have helped her a great deal, but she does not seem to be grateful for your efforts. Instead, she has expressed concerns about your abilities in certain areas. She is not particularly active herself, but she has expressed reservations about your level of activity. It is unfortunate that the person who is facing challenges is the first to voice complaints.

It also seems that she may benefit from learning to share, rather than always giving herself the good things. It seems as if her selfishness is already very obvious. At this time, it would be helpful to clearly understand the other person's true state and world view.

It would be beneficial to choose the right tree for the right bird. Those who associate with the red will become red, and those who associate with the black will become black. It would be helpful to take a good look at what the other person's true nature is. Everyone has their own character traits, and it might be worthwhile to get to know her again.

If she still doesn't move, it might be helpful to be firm and suggest that she consider making a change within three days. Some people may require a little encouragement before they're ready to take action. You might also consider speaking with your parents and other relatives and friends to see if they have any insights or suggestions. Let's all try to gently guide her towards a positive change.

Could I ask you a question, ZQ?

Hello, questioner!

It's clear you're a kind and compassionate person! You did well to help your girlfriend through her difficult emotional time and let her move in with you.

But you're also pretty stressed out because you've realized that your girlfriend has thrown off the rhythm and state of your life, and a lot of your living habits just don't mesh. Given the friendship, it's not really a good idea to tell her more, but the other person also doesn't seem to have a basic awareness and doesn't even take responsibility for hygiene, cooking, or the rent, which is really tough on you!

Going to work is hard enough, and now there's someone else at home who needs looking after... It sounds like you're a bit overwhelmed!

The divorce cooling-off period should be 30 days. Has she already passed that period?

Have you talked with her about her future plans?

It's important to remember that friends should help each other, but there should also be a limit. From a practical point of view, if you live together, you can agree on a few conditions with her. For example, you can decide to pay rent together, have the same schedule, take turns cooking and cleaning the house, and so on.

These are all things that can be discussed. You can clearly explain your expectations without getting emotional and add your feelings on top of the facts. For example: "I'm really tired every day after work, and I also have to clean up after the two of us. I can't take it anymore..." This way, she will understand you, and she will also take on the responsibility that she should.

If she complains about the space, suggest she look for something bigger.

If she doesn't like your cat, you can joke with her and say, "The cat is very important to me. It's been here for a long time!"

You said your parents know each other. Could you ask her parents to speak to her, so they can remind her of how she should get along with you?

You also need to learn to say "no." In the business world, if you don't know how to set boundaries, you'll end up taking on more than you can handle.

You can tell your girlfriend directly which of her behaviors you don't like and don't accept. Let her know that you're not happy with certain behaviors of hers, not that you don't like her as a person.

I hope you can get what you want!

I understand you, but I'm angry after reading the full description. I feel sorry for you and your dilemma.

You are considerate and think about your relationship. You help her, but it affects you too. You are still angry and sad, but you don't do anything to her.

But trying to communicate with her ex-husband is like confirming whether she is acting in an extraordinary manner or has always been like this, and then making a decision?

I could be wrong, and I'm trying to figure it out with you.

This may involve self-boundaries.

Self-boundaries are limits in a relationship. They are the limits within which neither person transgresses.

You can help others, and that's a good thing. But there are limits. What can you do, and what can't you do?

You can tell others what you can't do.

Don't judge yourself. Don't feel guilty. Do what you should do and set limits. No one is perfect.

A person with clear self-boundaries can control the situation and feel secure.

Overestimating one's power

Some people are afraid to refuse and speak harsh words. They think it will have bad consequences.

You may not be as terrible as you think. The consequences you fear won't occur, and others will respect you more. There might be some short-term awkwardness.

Know your limits, learn to say no, and know your capabilities. There are many ways to solve practical problems.

Know your limits, learn to say no, and know what you're good at. You'll find many ways to solve practical problems.

Dear Questioner,

My name is Yi Ming, and I am a heart exploration coach.

It is particularly vexing to encounter such a friend.

I extend my sincerest regards to you.

Indeed, the situation is quite challenging.

I would be pleased to engage in a discussion with you.

1. It is advisable to establish clear boundaries and to avoid being unduly influenced by her.

You have invested a great deal of time and effort into this situation.

You have already provided her with a substantial degree of assistance.

If one engages in an excessive amount of effort, the result is that one is unable to tolerate the situation any longer.

It is recommended that, henceforth, you establish clear and unambiguous boundaries.

Despite your directive for her to secure housing, she has yet to do so. You may also establish a deadline and indicate that you will no longer extend her leeway.

It is possible to make it clear that all actions previously taken on her behalf were motivated by benevolent intentions.

The situation has now reached a point of intolerance.

Furthermore, it is imperative to adhere to this decision.

For example, one might choose to prepare one's own meals, and so forth.

The manner in which she conducts herself is a matter for her own conscience, but the way in which we conduct ourselves is a matter for our own determination.

2. The manner in which others treat you is a function of your own actions and behaviors.

Mr. Huang Qituan has authored a book entitled "How You Are Treated by Others Is What You Teach Them." Those interested in learning more may wish to consult this work.

Although this experience was highly discomforting, it did, nevertheless, impart a valuable lesson.

This signifies that when one experiences discomfort, it is imperative to convey this in a timely manner, as opposed to merely tolerating it.

It is a common occurrence for individuals to provide assistance to those they consider to be their friends. In order to maintain harmonious relationships with friends, it is essential to demonstrate consideration and reciprocity.

In the event of dissatisfaction with a friend, it is possible to communicate with them initially.

To illustrate, consider the case of shared domestic responsibilities.

A lack of flexibility in the distribution of responsibilities can lead to the deterioration of a relationship.

Over time, a sense of unease will inevitably arise.

All relationships are, to some extent, conspiracies, and it is therefore essential that each party protects their own interests from the outset.

3. It would be advisable to attempt to adopt a more flexible approach.

It is possible that your tolerance in general is the reason for your current situation.

There are numerous methods of self-expression, numerous ways of finding a comfortable position, and numerous problem-solving techniques.

For example, if she states, "She's fussy. She complains that the house I'm sharing is overcrowded and the bed is small..." one might respond to oneself, "That is fortuitous, allowing for a prompt departure from the situation."

In the event of a discrepancy of opinion, it is possible to avoid any feelings of hurt.

Such actions are, in fact, her own idea.

In such instances, it is advisable to refrain from engaging in a futile attempt at reconciliation. Instead, it would be prudent to adopt a stance of detachment and refrain from offering any form of accommodation.

Another example is the assertion that the individual in question is lazy due to a lack of cooking. In such a case, it would be appropriate to inquire as to the specific implications of the individual's failure to cook on at least one occasion.

In the future, it would be advisable to focus on your own needs and concerns rather than worrying about her.

One is not obliged to accommodate her unconditionally.

Additionally, it is advisable to provide her with the opportunity to contribute.

Additionally, if the individual in question does not seek alternative accommodation, it may be appropriate to request that they contribute financially to the current living arrangement.

Such actions may prompt the other party to consider alternative arrangements, including a potential move out.

It is possible to achieve a certain degree of psychological equilibrium.

All relationships can be conceptualized as a form of cooperation.

In the event that the individual in question demonstrates a lack of empathy and is ungrateful, it is not necessary to treat them in the same manner as previously.

Rather, it is a matter of determining what she can offer, what you can offer her, and how you can achieve a greater degree of cooperation.

It is beneficial to establish clear boundaries in a relationship.

Please disseminate this information as widely as possible.

It is imperative to prioritize self-care.

It may be advisable to limit one's interactions with such individuals.

I extend my best wishes to you.

I extend my affection to the world and to you.

Hi there!

As the problem has been discussed further, it's become clear that the person involved has been going overboard with their words and actions. The questioner asks, "I don't know what to do?" at the end, which makes people think the one who did something wrong is the questioner. It also reverses the order, making it difficult to distinguish between the roles, responsibilities, and obligations of the people involved. As a result, the questioner also feels victimized, and the internal conflict is getting worse.

We all need to be tolerant and sincere, but nobody's money is made of wind. A friend of mine is getting a divorce. Why should she enjoy the comfort and peace of having a roof over her head, not having to worry about food and clothing, in someone else's home "without any expenses" and "without contributing", for free?

It's clear that this "friend" isn't taking responsibility for his actions. He's not thinking about how his words and actions might affect others. He doesn't care about the feelings of others, including the questioner.

How can I get along with this "friend" and solve problems?

A friend who wants to be left alone and a friend who doesn't want to be disturbed. The definition of the boundaries-between-the-sexes-and-it-has-always-been-a-concern-for-me-what-should-i-do-4183.html" target="_blank">relationship between friends comes from the introduction of "under parental relations." The foundation is a bit weak, and it's not from the heart. When the foundation is unstable and problems such as "concepts" and "character" appear after getting to know each other, it's only natural that there will be strong disagreements and intolerance.

So, if the friend in question really is someone who "doesn't know how to take care of other people's feelings and has a poor character," the questioner shouldn't blame themselves or dwell on it. The best way to handle it is to firmly end the friendship. Otherwise, it's self-abuse. No one else can help you. However, if the friend's true character is not like this — if they're "lazy and don't want to work," "don't know how to be grateful," and "don't know how to share" — then the questioner can be advised to try to "come clean" with this friend and tell them about their own pressures.

Be patient and communicate with your friend about your position.

If you're hosting someone, you've got to think about food and other necessities. And let's not forget cooking for this guest regularly, which is a bit like raising a child. You can be as hospitable as you like when you're a guest for a while, but if you stay in someone's home for a long time, this is not the "way of being a guest," and others cannot do the "way of being a host." So, you need to be honest with your friend. Long-term solutions like this are not viable, and your energy and financial resources cannot support it. I hope your friend can understand and make other choices. If you really have to live there for a long time, you can share the housework and rent if it is not a problem, but it is not recommended to share a room here because it will also cause new problems.

If your friend makes it clear where she stands and still refuses to leave, it confirms that she has no sense of boundaries and is of poor character. There's no need to worry about a falling out with her. People of poor character cannot be friends. Even if the other person is willing to share the rent and household chores, they cannot stay around. During this period, you've provided food and accommodation and have been able to explain to your parents, so you can defend your own rights.

It's important to be true to yourself and know how to say "no."

The so-called "friend" came by, and the question owner treated him with respect. Since the other person didn't do anything, he didn't want to voice his own opinions. And the friend, knowing that it's common to treat friends well when they visit, felt he had the upper hand and didn't care about his image. He didn't stop his bad behavior.

The questioner has also welcomed this "logic" with his own cowardice, so he's lost his position to defend himself and his rights. He needs to know that not all misfortunes are deliberately arranged by God; they're often brought about by one's own weaknesses. If he doesn't want to continue being "kind to others and be bullied," he needs to dare to say "no." If the questioner had first refused and then accepted, I'm sure this friend wouldn't have been so reckless in his words and actions. To put it more bluntly, it should be the questioner's indulgence.

The way to have a good friendship is to set clear boundaries.

Every problem has its own set of pros and cons. While this "friend"s actions seem a bit passive, they've also made the questioner realize the legal system and social norms. It's not as simple as backing down to resolve problems. Even friends in a parent-child relationship need to have limits. Excessive demands aren't conducive to a friendship. Friends can help each other, but without clear boundaries and a sense of responsibility, the relationship will exhaust the other party and make it difficult to reason with them. A true friend is a gentleman. A gentleman's friendship is as indifferent as water. This is the style and manner that should be present. However, those who only think about their own demands and enjoyment, and are selfish and self-serving, are not true friends.

So, the way to be a friend is to be a gentleman. A gentleman's friendship is as indifferent as water. That's the style and manner that should be adopted. People who only think about their own enjoyment and are selfish "hypocrites" and "pseudo-friends" are not true friends.

If you really understand the previous reasoning, the next thing the questioner will do is stop obsessing over it or complaining while enduring it. Instead, they'll take the initiative to express their opinions, let their friends know their thoughts, respect their own thoughts, and let their friends find another way. Otherwise, the questioner will have to continue to go back and take on the endless task of "accompanying and caring for friends." But don't complain, because the inside and outside need to be consistent. At least, others will look at you differently for your self-sacrifice.

Wishing you the best!

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

Why keep a friend who makes you so unhappy? Why not tell her how you feel?

The questioner's friend is disrespectful, doesn't care about others' feelings, and violates boundaries. She doesn't maintain good boundaries. The questioner should express her dissatisfaction.

When you can't stand it anymore, you tell her to move out, but she doesn't for a long time. She's used to you taking care of her without her having to do anything in return. She's testing you.

This kind of friend is only harmful, so if you want to solve the current problem, you can try some of the following:

1. Say what you think.

If you don't want her to keep her habits and you don't want to end the friendship, you can make an agreement with her to live together, share some housework, and pay rent. If she doesn't like it, she can move out.

Tell the other person you're unhappy with their behavior. If you want to stay friends, do as agreed.

2. There's something hateful about a pitiful person.

The questioner may feel sorry for her and that's why she lives with you. You can also understand why she got divorced by spending time with her.

If she doesn't change, she'll keep having the same problem with anyone she meets. She's also ungrateful and crossed your boundaries, which is why you're unhappy with her.

3. Cut off all contact.

It's better to have fewer friends than more, but this kind of friend doesn't benefit you. Since she still refuses to leave after you've made your feelings clear, you don't need to worry about losing face.

Just pack her things and let her go. This is the most direct method when dealing with such people.

I hope this helps.

Good day, my name is Meng Xiaoxiao. I am grateful that circumstances have allowed us to connect.

From what I have read, it is evident that your friend's presence has had a significant impact on your life, causing inconvenience and affecting your living environment. I understand your discomfort and frustration with her actions.

She is in the divorce cooling-off period and has chosen to reside with you. There may be the following reasons for this:

It is important to recognise that you are worthy of her trust and reliance, and that she feels secure and at ease with you.

The divorce has caused her to regress. In simple terms, she has reverted to a childlike state and requires care, understanding, and unconditional acceptance. Consequently, the five points you outlined in your article will manifest: laziness, pickiness, and a lack of consideration for your feelings.

She is currently requiring time to recuperate and address her personal issues.

Based on the information provided by her former spouse, it is evident that this female acquaintance has assumed a role that was previously occupied by her former husband. It is also apparent that she is facing a divorce, which has likely contributed to her current situation.

The practical issue of how to make your female friend leave your home and stop disturbing your life plan is a significant challenge. Based on your description of your female friend's attitude towards life, she is accustomed to a laid-back and enjoy-it-all lifestyle. It may require a process of growth for her to take responsibility for her life like an adult. First and foremost, she needs to establish the belief that she is responsible for herself, rather than relying on others and taking things for granted.

Conversely, what is the strength of your resolve to terminate the relationship? Do your current resources (financial situation and family and friends) have the capacity to assist you in locating alternative accommodation?

It would be beneficial to ascertain the extent to which your own lack of resolve is contributing to the inability to terminate the relationship. This is an area that requires self-awareness and reflection.

Should the need arise, the questioner is free to select a counselor from the platform to provide guidance on managing current distress, facilitate self-exploration and resolution, and foster empowerment.