A girl in the dorm stole something from me. How should I deal with this?

This matter is straightforward. The questioner is troubled for a reason. It likely has to do with how they've felt about this classmate in the past. To resolve this, they need to understand their emotions.

I firmly believe that regardless of how strong the bond between the two individuals was in the past, it is only a reflection of what once was. It does not necessarily indicate that it remains unchanged in the present. After all, individuals' perspectives evolve with age and shifts in the social landscape, and a certain stage of thinking cannot be sustained indefinitely. If the questioner adheres to the same mindset and approach from their school days when examining their classmates and the dynamics between them, they will inevitably face the current challenges and be unable to comprehend some of their classmates' actions.

Being able to work means being an adult, and adults have to take responsibility for their actions. Stealing from others is already illegal, and it's not something that children can just take for fun. Such behavior also reflects a lack of boundaries in his mind with others. He treats other people's things as if they were his own, taking what he wants without considering other people's feelings or the consequences it will bring to himself.

I've been in a similar situation before. A colleague in the same dormitory took the more than 100 yuan I had placed under the mat while I was taking a shower. When I returned from the shower, I found it was gone. I asked him, but he denied any knowledge of it. At the time, he was the only one in the dormitory. I knew he'd spent a lot of money on medical treatment during that period of time and was living a very tight life and needed money, so I told him that I was going downstairs to the police station to report the matter.

I stayed downstairs for about half an hour before coming back. He told me he found it under the mat. I didn't say anything. I knew he'd found it, and I knew he'd returned it. He was worried, scared, and struggling internally. That's enough to offset any responsibility for his behavior.

I believe the original poster should speak with him. Ask him if he is having difficulties in life. Tell him about losing your things. Ask if he knows about it. Tell him that if he loses things again, he should report it to the security guard at the factory or call the police. Give him a warning. It is up to him whether he takes it seriously and makes corrections. He needs to face this problem and think about it. No one else can assume responsibility for it.

I am Gu Yi, and I maintain the same modest and unassuming demeanor that I have always exhibited.

Betrayal of friendship

From the description, it is evident that you possess a benevolent nature. Assisting classmates in securing employment is not a practice that is embraced by all. Contemporary society is characterised by a reluctance to intervene in the affairs of others, largely due to the uncertainty of the individuals one might encounter. This has led to a decline in interpersonal intimacy.

However, it is evident that you possess a high degree of emotional intelligence and the capacity to tolerate and accommodate a multitude of challenges. It is, therefore, imperative to ascertain whether your actions are aligned with your stated values and whether you are adequately assertive in defending your rights and position. It is crucial to strike a balance between your inherent benevolence and a more assertive stance.

Many issues in life are not readily apparent in day-to-day interactions. They may only become evident when individuals interact in more significant ways. This underscores the importance of assertiveness. It is crucial to express emotions when necessary and to remind others when appropriate. If minor offenses are overlooked, it may provide an opportunity for others to engage in more reckless behavior.

It is recommended that the following advice be considered.

It is advisable to take action promptly and communicate in a positive manner. While it is beneficial to provide assistance, the understanding of the other party is not a significant concern, as one must adhere to their own moral compass and strive to maintain consistency.

The ability of the other person to cherish the item in question will determine the longevity of the relationship. A healthy relationship is one that is mutually beneficial, and it is important to be content with oneself.

Regarding these minor habits of your classmate, you may choose to discuss the matter directly or identify an appropriate opportunity to request that he return the item. It is possible that he may offer numerous justifications for failing to say goodbye, such as "I simply borrowed it and forgot to inform you," or "I assumed you would not mind." Dear OP, it is important to remember that if you truly respect someone, you will say goodbye before using the item in question.

Any subsequent assertion is merely an attempt to justify his actions.

One must not be afraid of the potential for harm. As adults, we are capable of discerning the quality of our social interactions and the individuals with whom we engage. Over time and through experience, we can and should cultivate circles of individuals who are conducive to our personal growth and well-being. This process of self-selection and acceptance is both beneficial and responsible.

One should engage in activities that are considered to be of value and beneficial to those who are worthy of such interactions.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Thank you for your inquiry. I am Yufei, a listener at Yixin.

One might inquire as to the nature of the motivation underlying the desire to assist friends or classmates. Is it merely an obligation, or is there an underlying sentiment that if one provides assistance, the other will be grateful and may potentially repay the favor at some future point? Even in the absence of any tangible reciprocation, the act of assisting a friend can still foster a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect.

Now, your friend has engaged in an act that may be perceived as lacking in politeness or conventionality. Moreover, he has stolen your belongings, which is a highly problematic action. Additionally, you have indicated that your attempts at communication with him did not yield the desired result.

The question thus arises as to how this problem should be solved. If this person does this on purpose,

In regard to the issue of theft, I have reservations about the character and personality of the individual in question. In other words, I question the principles that guide his actions.

In general, an individual with good character would be unlikely to engage in theft from others. Therefore, it is advisable to maintain a firm stance on this matter.

In other words, to avoid greater losses, it would be prudent to inform him in a firm manner that should he engage in further theft, you will be forced to involve the police. Should he refrain from further theft, this may prove a more favourable outcome.

Should he persist in this behavior, it would be advisable to cease extending him any courtesy. One might also consider informing the security office at one's place of employment or contacting the police directly.

It is my understanding that stealing is stealing. If the perpetrator is a child, the behavior may be a matter of habit. However, if the perpetrator is an adult, the behavior may be indicative of a deeper issue. In the case of a child, stealing may be a result of ignorance.

However, if the perpetrator is an adult who continues to engage in theft despite having commenced gainful employment, it is plausible to hypothesize that the underlying cause may be intrinsic to their character. In the event that this matter is perceived as being of significant gravity, it may be advisable to adopt a forthright approach in addressing it.

The longer one maintains a relationship with an individual exhibiting antisocial behavior, the greater the potential for personal harm. In accordance with the principle of preventing further losses, it is advisable to terminate the association.

One may be concerned about the nature of a friendship between two individuals. Should one provide a firm explanation and the other demonstrate a willingness to listen, this may be an effective approach. However, should the other individual not demonstrate such willingness, it may be advisable to consider severing the friendship.

There are numerous methods for terminating a relationship. The optimal approach for interacting with individuals who exhibit problematic behavior is to disengage from them.

It is imperative that we learn to protect ourselves.

I appreciate your inquiry. The aforementioned methods may be perceived as excessively absolute, ruthless, or principle-based. However, I believe this represents a viable approach to consider.

The advice I provide is as follows. It is possible that other teachers may have different ideas and suggestions. These can be combined and a preferred approach selected to address the problem. It is my view that we are all adults and therefore responsible for choosing our friends. At the same time, we must learn to protect ourselves. I am concerned that this friend's approach may be perceived as somewhat aggressive.

It is recommended that one should choose to align oneself with that which is good and beneficial, and to eschew that which is harmful and destructive. Those who are in proximity to that which is red will themselves become red, and those who are in proximity to that which is black will themselves become black. Mencius' mother relocated on three occasions in order to select a neighbourhood that was conducive to her son's upbringing. It is similarly recommended that one should choose to associate with individuals who possess good character.

Good day, my name is Teacher Yuxin.

From the process you described, I initially assumed the individual in question was male. However, upon further reflection and review of the title, I concluded that the individual was, in fact, female.

I am unsure if you share this perception, that she is like a boy. Perhaps you would say that you are simply using "he" instead of "she" by habit, but in the eyes of a dynamic psychotherapist, there is a psychological dynamic behind any phenomenon.

Additionally, there is a sense of observing events at the educational facility. It was only after returning to the premises to verify that an incident had occurred in the dormitory that the situation became clear.

I am unsure if you also perceive the individual as being of a younger psychological age than their physical age.

When there is a significant discrepancy between an adult's psychological age and their physical age, it can often feel challenging to comprehend their situation. However, by setting aside their external appearance, accessing their inner self, and employing the cognitive and behavioral patterns typically observed in children, it becomes possible to gain insight into their circumstances.

Please indicate the approximate age of the individual in question in terms of her inability to consider the feelings of others, her inability to take responsibility for her actions, her tendency to take what she wants for herself, and her gender ambiguity.

If the other person is mentally in the infant stage, it is challenging for non-professionals to provide effective assistance. Despite your best efforts to offer guidance and support, the impact may not be sustained, leading to feelings of frustration.

It may be advisable to suggest that she seek professional assistance.

If you do not intend to become involved in her personal affairs, it is advisable to maintain a distance that is comfortable for you and to protect your own legitimate interests and psychological boundaries. This is responsible behavior.

It can be challenging to navigate a situation where you're paired with a roommate who doesn't follow the established norms, especially when it's someone you've introduced yourself to. I can sense the frustration and helplessness the questioner is experiencing.

In the question description, the questioner used the phrase "knowing how to repay a favor." It is only natural to want to express gratitude for help received.

Perhaps it would be helpful for the questioner to consider what actions of the roommate are causing them to seek gratitude. It might also be beneficial to reflect on the expectations that the questioner has of the roommate.

Could I ask you to clarify whether you helped her because you want her to be grateful, or whether you helped her so that others can see your abilities and value?

In the description of the question, the questioner listed the roommate's less desirable habits, including making noise while other people are sleeping and not taking out the trash.

It is understandable that her actions are affecting the quality of others' rest. However, more information is needed to understand why she is not taking out the trash.

If there is only one trash can in the dormitory and the roommates take turns taking out the trash, could I ask whether she might refuse to take out the trash when it's her turn? Or does each person have their own trash can and she might refuse to take out her own trash?

The information provided is incomplete and requires further clarification. If everyone takes turns taking out the trash, it could be perceived that this roommate is not following the established rules and may potentially impact others. Conversely, if each person is responsible for disposing of the trash, and this roommate does not take out the trash, it could be assumed that this may also affect others.

I wonder if I might ask whether there is anyone else in the same bedroom. How did they react?

Could I ask you to consider whether you have a heart of integration towards this roommate?

It would be helpful to know whether this roommate has been found stealing other people's things as well.

Has she ever been accused of petty theft? It seems that she was caught stealing from you after you stopped speaking to her.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider this situation. If your roommate were to steal from you at this point, could it be a question of her character, or might she be trying to send you a message?

Could you please clarify how often this has happened and how much value you place on these items?

I believe you have the option of talking to your roommate about this. Before doing so, it might be helpful to take a moment to calm down, state the facts without any judgment, and talk about how you feel.

It might be helpful to see what your roommate has to say in response. If your roommate does have some habits that you find challenging, you might consider creating some space between you or adjusting the bedroom to make it easier to avoid each other.

I hope this is helpful. Best regards!

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan.

People have different ideas about friends. Some have different personalities, while others have different views. A true friend is someone who thinks for the person they're with. The questioner introduced a job to a friend, but the friend got angry and even stole from the questioner.

True friends help and care for each other. The questioner can examine whether their friends are worth continuing the friendship with.

The original poster introduced her to a job after school, but she stole the original poster's things. Regardless of the good or bad of this behavior, it seems like repaying kindness with enmity. How to handle this friendship requires serious consideration by the original poster.

Take photos as evidence of the theft and find out why. If it's revenge, consider ending the relationship. Talk to her privately. As a friend, remind her of the consequences of stealing and stop her from continuing down the wrong path.

I'll give you a little strength by patting you on the shoulder. How do you know if your friends are worth keeping?

How should friendship be handled? Here are some suggestions:

Examine this friendship.

There are different kinds of friends. Some are helpful, some are ordinary, and some are false.

Confucius said, "Three friends are helpful, three friends are harmful. A friend who is straightforward, a friend who is forgiving, and a friend who is knowledgeable are helpful."

A kind, tactful friend is good, but a flattering, deceitful friend is bad.

It is good to make friends with people of integrity, honesty, and knowledge. It is bad to make friends with people who flatter, slander, and sweet-talk.

"

The questioner can think about their relationship with friends and what friends have given them.

A true friend has many other qualities.

Friends don't always say what you want to hear, but they'll listen if you're having a hard time.

You feel relaxed with friends.

Friends support you.

Friends keep in touch all the time.

Friends share good and bad times.

Friends care about your health and safety.

Decide if a friend is worth keeping.

As mentioned earlier, friends can be good or bad. How do you know which type of friend you have and if it's worth getting to know them better?

Think about whether this friend wants something from you. A bad friend may:

They'll talk behind your back.

Use you to climb a social ladder.

Use you to get close to someone.

They might use your resources or use your intelligence.

They want information from you.

They only approach you when they need something.

Beware of jealousy among friends.

Sometimes jealousy can ruin friendships. True friends will overcome it and put friendship first.

If your friends don't celebrate your good grades or find fault with you when you get them, they might be jealous. If your friends won't help you, you'll have to keep giving in to them. They'll only think about themselves.

Sometimes friends do things to damage friendships because of jealousy.

Stay away.

If your friends make you feel uncomfortable, they're not thinking about you. Consider keeping some distance.

The friend has stolen things, which is bad for your friendship. You should take photos, persuade her not to steal, supervise her, and let her return things. You should also warn her that if she keeps stealing, you will take measures to protect your rights.

Don't spread your friend's mistakes among friends. Let her stop her wrongdoing, keep your distance, and keep a close eye on her. But also try not to ignore her or stop talking to her.

This is childish and may make your fake friends angry and cause them to gossip.

We can't always read other people's minds, but we can spend more time with good friends. Think about whether you want to keep your current friends. It's not easy to start a friendship, but it's also not easy to end it.

If you're sure the other person is a hypocrite, break off relations with them.

I hope this helps.

Hello again, host. I'll answer your question again. After reading your info, I feel sorry for you for having to go through this because of your friend's carelessness. You were really enthusiastic when your classmate introduced you to his workplace. You were grateful to this person, but it was worrying that he had a poor character. In the collective dormitory, he didn't care about other people's feelings.

You've warned him before, but he's gone so far as to steal from you. He's repaid kindness with hatred, leaving you feeling trapped. After all, you introduced him yourself, and this kind of behavior makes it impossible for you to explain yourself to your colleagues or yourself.

From their perspective, it's all about them. They never consider how their actions affect others. From a professional standpoint, their ego is too strong and their superego is too weak. Their actions aren't constrained by the environment or public morals. They're arbitrary and self-centered. In a nutshell, it's psychological immaturity. They may be adults, but they act like three-year-olds. Most three-year-olds are also self-centered and can see things from another perspective.

If you think a colleague might need some help, you can suggest they speak to a psychiatrist to make sure their mental state is healthy. If they're okay, a short pain is better than a long one, and it's better for you and the unit.

You'll learn from your mistakes. You might be more cautious when making friends and examine these individuals' abilities, character, and personality from multiple perspectives. You'll avoid these types of incidents from happening again.

I'm looking forward to seeing you in 1983! Best regards, [Name]

You are a kind and considerate person who cares about other people's feelings. You not only introduced your classmate to a job when he needed one, but you also considered the impact of their actions on you.

I appreciate your kindness, but kindness has its limits. I especially like the saying that kindness should also have a sharp edge.

Kindness does not mean tolerating your boundaries. If someone disturbs you while you sleep, especially if they make a point of making noise, you must remind them. If your dorm has a rule about taking out the trash once a day, you must remind them if it is not taken out on their day.

If you find out that he stole something, you should ask for it back.

It's better to offend a gentleman than a villain. Sometimes it takes skill, too. If someone steals from you, don't point out why. Start looking for the item in your room, with your roommates there, and make it clear you've lost something.

If this classmate really steals things or affects you, you must be more cautious about this friendship. You are what kind of friend you have, and you should be proud of that. Don't let a bad friend affect your image.

These are your decisions to make, and you need to make them yourself. Life is yours to live, so don't compromise yourself!

Good morning,

The questioner found themselves in a challenging situation when they encountered a "theft" issue with a classmate who had also become a colleague. While it's understandable that the relationship might make it difficult to address the matter, it's crucial to recognize that the issue of "theft" cannot be overlooked. It's essential to report and address it promptly to protect one's legitimate rights and interests.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the classmate's behavior and the way he approached the problem.

When the original poster secured a stable job with the help of the classmate, the classmate did not express gratitude or reciprocate the favor by assisting the original poster in addressing his challenges. Instead, the classmate engaged in destructive behavior and a vindictive mentality. This is a regrettable act and approach. From the perspective of the original poster, who was also a classmate, it must have been a difficult and unexpected experience, as the giving and the receiving were not equal. While we help others out of a warm heart and do not expect a return, such blatant "theft" is not an act that should be committed. At the same time, theft is a crime, and if the report is successful and the circumstances are serious, the perpetrator can be sentenced.

In light of these circumstances, it seems that the actions of the classmate may be perceived as inappropriate and incorrect.

How might we best approach this situation?

1. It would be advisable to gather evidence and state your position.

From the previous questioner's description, it seems that the classmate has a number of bad habits and has already affected other people. It would be beneficial for his behavior to be corrected, otherwise he may have to leave the current environment. Although he came through the questioner's introduction, it seems that the questioner's understanding of the classmate is not as comprehensive as it could be. This lack of understanding may have resulted in some difficulties. Therefore, in the event of serious theft, it may be advisable for the questioner to consider other options than simply alarming the thief. It may be more constructive to collect evidence one by one, preferably along with human evidence, and to ask colleagues to testify together. When there is sufficient evidence to report the matter, it will be easier to have a constructive conversation.

2. It is generally advisable to stand firm on matters of principle.

It is often the case that those who are less considerate when they are close to others are more vocal when they are far away. This can be seen as a narrow-minded approach. It can also be seen as a lack of empathy, as they are unable to put themselves in someone else's shoes and think from their perspective. When it comes to matters of principle, it is important to establish your own position without letting sentiment influence you. It is also important to avoid becoming entangled with each other, as we all have our limits. Instead, it is helpful to set a clear boundary that works for you.

It is also possible that the classmate may seem harmless, but in reality may have some problematic tendencies that make it challenging for them to listen to advice and make necessary changes. When the original poster feels that they are on their own, they can report the other person together with their colleague after collecting the evidence properly, and avoid associating with the person with problematic tendencies.

3. It may be helpful to focus on protecting yourself, rather than trying to change the other person.

It can be challenging to alter one's personality and even more difficult to modify one's habits. While littering may seem minor, it can symbolize the sum of many students' actions. This is a complex habit to change, and it can only be transformed gradually through genuine self-awareness. The question asker might benefit from maintaining a respectful distance and avoiding unnecessary negotiations with the other person.

In the case of theft, the person who is targeted is likely to be the one who responds the most severely against their classmates. However, the thief's actions usually have long-term effects. It is possible to collect evidence and observe the other person's actions calmly. When conflicts arise in life and harmful boundaries are crossed, it may be helpful to set dormitory standards together with your colleagues. It is important to remember not to compromise or give in. If you actively oppose improper words and actions and your colleague's belongings are stolen together, you can report all the collected evidence directly. Having the support of others can help to reduce concerns about your classmates' retaliatory psychology.

In conclusion, it seems that the classmate has crossed a line and may have violated the rights and interests of others. It might be helpful to collect evidence and report the incident directly to the police.

I wish you the best of luck!

Good day. I am Fei Yun, a Heart Detective coach.

It is understandable that you are experiencing distress. You assumed the role of an intermediary due to your enthusiasm and trust, which consequently placed you in a position of responsibility. As a result, your actions have become inextricably linked to the positive or negative conduct of this individual. Furthermore, the other person is a source of significant inconvenience due to their lack of attention to detail. This includes disturbing the rest of others, exhibiting poor hygiene, and failing to maintain personal cleanliness.

She presents a significant challenge in numerous ways. Let us examine the issue together.

?1. It is understandable that the other person's behavior evoked an emotional response.

As her introducer, you are acutely aware of your responsibility to ensure that she behaves in a manner that reflects well on you, brings you credit, and maintains your integrity (not to mention your own reputation) in the eyes of your leader.

However, due to a lack of attention to detail, the situation has resulted in a breakdown in unity between colleagues and has created a negative impression. As the individual who introduced them, you also feel ashamed. The notion that "like attracts like" is a widely held belief, and the fact that she is your classmate only adds to the gravity of the situation.

However, it can be posited that "everything happens for the best," and that even the most unfortunate circumstances may be viewed in a positive light. Furthermore, the experience of the "recommendation" has demonstrated that a kind disposition is not incompatible with responsibility.

Furthermore, the individual in question has been observed to engage in theft, which presents an additional challenge in navigating these complex circumstances. Given the need to maintain the other person's dignity and reputation, it is not feasible to directly confront the situation.

However, her actions have exceeded the boundaries of morality.

The fact that she is perceived as "immoral" and "disobedient" has placed you in a challenging position, and this is where the real emotions lie.

2. How should the matter be handled and the relationship with the other person?

In the event of a theft, it is advisable to ascertain the value of the item in question. In the case of an insignificant trinket, a tactful approach may be employed. For instance, one might inquire, "I must confess that I have been somewhat forgetful recently and cannot recall where I placed this item. Might it be that you placed it in your drawer, closet, or even at night while sleepwalking?"

Provided that one refrains from confronting the individual in person, it is possible to avoid causing distress. Some individuals engage in petty theft as a result of a perceived need. The items they steal are of little intrinsic value, yet the act itself holds significance for them.

If the item in question is of considerable price and value, then it should be treated differently, as it is tantamount to a criminal act. Regardless of whether the issue pertains to the maintenance of a school friendship or the individual's future, it is imperative to engage in a sincere and forthright dialogue with the other party.

This is also a means of providing assistance to the individual in question.

It is imperative to consider the matter in great depth. After all, the hearts of people are often far apart. In the event that the other person is unwilling to admit the truth, it is not always possible to be certain that what has been lost is truly one's own.

Once the matter has been addressed, it may be advisable to create a reason to distance oneself from the individual in question, to observe the other person's behaviour, and to consider reporting the matter if necessary. It is important to recognise that, as the primary party involved, it is crucial to maintain control of the situation.

It is my sincere hope that the above will prove helpful to you. I extend my warmest regards to you, and to the world.

Should you wish to continue the discussion, please click on the link entitled "Find a Heart Exploration Coach," which can be found in the lower right-hand corner of the page.