A high school girl, sensitive to others, hopes to let go, what should she do?

It might be helpful to try to comfort your sensitive, conflicted, anxious self.

First, you mentioned that you feel particularly envious when you see beautiful women, others living carefree lives, and others diligently studying. It seems that you unconsciously compare yourself to others and are sensitive to their every move. On the other hand, you feel dissatisfied with your appearance, your life, and your lack of motivation to study, and you feel stressed and remorseful.

I'm not sure if this is correct, but I get the feeling that you want to try hard but are unable to do so.

Secondly, you have mentioned on numerous occasions that you would like to let go. Could you please clarify what you would like to let go of?

Could it be that you are putting too much pressure on yourself? Have you noticed that others seem to have a more carefree attitude?

Could it be something hurtful from your past? This information is actually very important. What exactly do you want to let go of?

Third, it is possible that you are dissatisfied with your current situation, whether it be in school, work, or life. You may wish to escape from the status quo, but feel that you lack the power to do so.

It might be worth considering whether the goals are perhaps a little too ambitious and unrealistic. Similarly, it's possible that the pressure of studying in high school was a little too intense, which may have resulted in a decline in grades.

It might be worth considering whether there were any unmet emotional needs during adolescence. There could be a number of reasons why this might be the case.

Please don't worry. Take your time. 1. It would be helpful to identify the cause of the stress and find an outlet to relieve it.

Perhaps you might consider keeping a diary or exercising?

It might be helpful to consider making friends and confiding in them, or even falling in love with a boy you like as a way of releasing pressure and diverting attention.

2. It may be helpful to recognize your current situation, consider setting realistic goals, and take things one step at a time. Alternatively, you might find it beneficial to simply relax and allow yourself to experience whatever comes up.

It might even prove to be an improvement on the current result.

I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear good news about your improvement.

Everyone can help others by sharing their thoughts.

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun. Let me cheer you up first. Being sensitive is a gift. You say you are very sensitive and easily influenced by others. This is not bad. It shows you have a keen sense of self and others.

You feel insecure because you're influenced by others. Let's look at the problem together.

1. You need role models in high school.

At this age, you pay a lot of attention to how you look to others. You can look around at your classmates and see that some girls have started wearing light makeup, and some boys are paying a lot of attention to their hairstyles.

You need to know more about yourself and want others to trust, respect, understand, and accept you. It's normal to feel envious of girls who look like the people you admire and want to be like them.

Saying "I can't do it" is a way of doubting yourself. It's not that you can't do it, but that you lack self-confidence.

We compare ourselves to others. You saw the prettiest girl at summer camp. Mr. Lao said women are cute, not pretty. You don't focus on your own image.

An interesting article? "Your beauty is not as good as your liveliness." Good character and a good temper show good relationships. You lack self-confidence because you compare yourself to others.

Let's change the way we think. What if we compared our strengths to other people's strengths? The best approach is not to compare yourself to others, but to compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

Everyone is different.

You want to be yourself and follow your own path, but you can't. When you compare yourself to others, you think you're not good enough.

Then you'll start doubting and hating yourself.

If you feel good about yourself, you will be more confident. Everyone is special in their own way. Some people may not like you, but your parents love you and would do anything for you.

We don't just exist to make others happy. We should also know how to please ourselves. To boost your self-confidence, start with the simplest thing: give yourself constant praise.

Find three things to praise yourself for every day.

People who appreciate themselves have good relationships with others. If you want others to like you, like yourself first.

If you accept yourself, others will too.

I hope this helps. I love you.

To continue the conversation, click "Find a coach" in the top right or bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, my child. I hope my answer can help you in some way.

You know yourself pretty well and think about yourself a lot. You know you envy them for some of their characteristics, which is why you're sensitive to some of their aspects. But if we ignore it, it won't go away. Your envy and sensitivity hide your needs. If you don't see and fulfill your needs and desires, you'll still be sensitive next time someone new comes along. So use your sensitivity and envy to understand yourself and see your deep inner needs and desires.

Have you ever wondered why we envy some people? It's because they possess qualities we admire. You may find that you're not envious of just one person, but of many people who embody these qualities. This can be an opportunity to use your feelings to gain insight into what it is specifically about them that you envy.

For instance, you say you envy those attractive women. What specifically are you envious of? Is it their good looks?

Or are they just popular? Or what other qualities?

It's important to be clear about what specific qualities we envy. If you're envious of someone in a very general way, you'll certainly not be able to find a direction. You can only make targeted adjustments by clarifying your inner needs. For example, if you envy someone for their appearance, you might need to accept that it's difficult to change your appearance. But we can also be more specific. For example, we can get in shape through exercise and have glowing skin and a better state of mind through certain diets. If you envy someone for being particularly popular, they might have gained a lot of interpersonal relationships because of their appearance. If we can't attract people through our appearance, there are many other ways. I'm not a very good-looking girl, but I've always had good interpersonal relationships because I'm very good at taking care of my friends' feelings and am willing to help anyone within my abilities.

So, you see? You can only identify your own needs and desires and make targeted adjustments if you're self-aware and reflect on your own behaviour.

To break this cycle, start by being aware of your own feelings and noticing when you feel envious.

Another example: When you see the person next to you brushing up on the questions, what are your inner feelings? Are you feeling a little anxious or envious? Jealous?

All of these emotions can hide your needs. Do you also want to work hard to brush up on your questions like them? Do you also want to learn well?

And so on. These are all things you need to look into. You'll only be able to find the root cause of your emotional fluctuations once you've identified the needs behind your emotions.

Once you've identified the root cause, it's important to address it head-on.

How should we handle it?

First, you need to figure out if you can achieve these needs on your own. If one method won't work, can you achieve this need through other methods, or can you have some alternative needs? If, after your exploration, you feel that this is almost completely impossible to achieve, then you need to learn to let go and focus more on things that are more important to you.

For instance, you might envy someone else's good looks, but the truth is that our appearance is pretty much set in stone. There's no need to dwell on your natural appearance. Instead, focus on identifying the underlying need behind your envy of someone else's good looks. Do you think that if you had a better appearance, you'd be more confident? More popular?

So, even if we don't look our best, there are plenty of ways to become confident and popular. There are countless examples of this. No matter which industry they're leaders in, even if they're stars in entertainment, people don't just judge them based on their appearance, right? What really makes them confident is their own abilities and values, and their inner charm.

I think so.

I used to be just as sensitive as you and was always caught in this cycle. I felt a lot better when I understood the above-mentioned laws and principles. When I have problems in my personal relationships that bother me, I will think about my own needs and desires, understand the real reason, and then make adjustments. It's hard for others to change because they may never change. But as we improve and grow, the people we once envied may no longer be the ones we envy. We will envy new people because they have our needs and desires. So, we will always have people we envy, but we shouldn't resist these things. They are all opportunities to help us understand ourselves.

That's all for now. I hope it's helpful. Best wishes!