A nine and a half-year-old boy, how to deal with his uncontrollable emotions during the foreign teacher's class? It's too tormenting.

Thanks for the question.

I understand that your child is now 9.5 years old and in the third grade. At this age, kids start to figure out what they want to do and then work towards it in small steps.

There will be hiccups along the way, but these will also teach the child how to tackle them and gain even greater growth.

First, you need to figure out if your child is actually interested in taking foreign language classes.

What's the child's attitude towards English? Does he enjoy it?

Is there any time left in the day for learning?

Are the foreign language classes something your child wants to learn more about and asks for? Or are they something you're making them do to keep up with other kids?

This question is to figure out if taking foreign language lessons is something I want to do or something my mom wants me to do.

There's a big difference between the two. The former is something that comes naturally and will inspire a greater sense of responsibility in the child. The latter is something that has to be done and is driven by a sense of guilt.

If your child isn't interested in the activity, have you thought about spending the same time doing something he's more interested in?

Second, if it's really necessary to do this, the child is now facing setbacks and needs parents to show them how to face them.

The child knows what they want but doesn't know how to get it, so they scream in frustration. There's a long way to go between these two extremes, and parents need to guide their children patiently.

It's important to acknowledge your child's feelings. Try to teach your child to express their feelings verbally, rather than through shouting and tantrums.

"There were quite a few words in this class that you didn't know how to answer. You looked pretty worried, so I'm guessing you felt pretty bad."

"You were upset because you didn't get all the answers right this time."

It's important to understand what your child is really trying to achieve based on how they're feeling.

"Do you really want to get the teacher's prize?"

"You really wanted to get all the answers right?"

Parents should focus on how to solve the problem and provide the child with the support they need.

"How can we help you recognize all these words?"

"Mom, could you do something to help you remember these words?"

It's important to let your child know that it's normal to fail and that success requires a lot of hard work.

"If you don't spend enough time going over them, you'll probably forget them quickly."

"There are things we really want to do, and we need to put in the work to achieve them."

On top of that, parents can set a great example for their kids, whether it's emotional control or learning habits.

It's not wrong for kids to have emotions. It's a normal thing. How do parents handle their kids' emotions?

Should you blame or scold?

Should we compromise or give up?

When you understand why a child is feeling a certain way, you'll see that they really want to do well. It's not that they don't want to succeed, but that they don't yet have the skills to do so.

Parents should help their kids understand two things: what they want and what they can't do yet. Then, show them how to bridge the gap between the two: how they can do it.

This process should also be completed independently by the child. Parents can guide the child to think it through and help them find their own solution.

If we can help our kids deal with their emotions in a reasonable way, they'll learn to do the same with their own emotions and understand why they're having a tantrum.

Also, when we face challenges in life, big or small, we can share with our kids how we've handled similar situations ourselves.

We can't let problems get us down. Even if we don't solve them right away, we always have the ability to improve the current situation.

I hope this is helpful.