A remarried family with a girl, and so many things remind me of sadness?

Hello, question asker!

From what you've said, I can tell you're a good man. Even though you're in a blended family, you love your wife's child just as much, if not more.

The child is very picky about what she eats. You try every means to switch with her mother to cook for her. Even if it is your own child, the father may not be able to do so as attentively. Well done for your sincere efforts!

Her mother likes to spoil her by buying her snacks. You've communicated with her mother many times. Just like today when you went to the supermarket with her mother, you wanted to buy some fruit for the child to eat, but her mother insisted on buying chocolate. You said that if she ate chocolate, she would eat less staple food. You really care about the child's health, but she said, "I can see now that it's not your biological daughter, that's why you're like this," and then she said that she wouldn't spend a penny on you in the future. She makes you feel sad and upset when she acts like this. You feel misunderstood despite your good intentions, and you feel very aggrieved.

I can really see where you're coming from. At the end of the day, it's her mom's distrust of you that's worrying her. She's afraid you might have second thoughts about the child. It's her own lack of security. She's experienced a failed marriage, so she doesn't trust men. She feels she owes it to the child. That's why she acts this way. She thinks meeting the child's needs is the same as showing love to the child, whether reasonable or not. She's never thought about the consequences of this. Is this what you're most worried about right now?

You're a responsible, caring man who treats her children as if they were your own, so it's no surprise you have so many anxieties, worries, and concerns. You always hope to take good care of your children and let them grow up healthily. However, due to her mother's distrust or differences in parenting philosophies, you're now very hurt and don't know what to do.

Have you ever thought that even the most compatible couple will have different parenting styles and often disagree? My advice is to learn to let go when it comes to your child's education and life. I'll support you as best I can. Over time, if she can let go of her grudges and trust you completely, she'll be able to face your child's growth rationally and may even seek your help. At that time, she'll definitely listen to you.

From now on, you should let go, focus on your loved one, show her more care, give her enough security, and put your relationship first. I think your family life will improve, and you'll be able to solve many of your child's problems.

I hope my answer gives you some ideas.

Wishing you the best!

Hello. I can see that you have some conflicts with your spouse because you don't agree on your daughter's eating habits. In similar situations, your partner doesn't understand you. You are really thinking about your child's health and are well-intentioned, but your partner doesn't understand you, which makes you sad. I understand you.

Conflicts in relationships happen when people don't see eye to eye or understand each other.

You don't understand or appreciate each other. You only understand yourselves.

What should I do?

First, understand the other person. She's forming a family with children and has a lot of psychological trauma, including guilt and overcompensation towards her children. She satisfies her children's material needs to compensate for her lack of love and make up for her mistakes. She loves her daughter. See how much she loves her daughter.

If you disagree, talk to her. Explain that you understand her and that you're sorry for her daughter's actions. If your spouse doesn't understand you, and you think your relationship is more important, listen to her.

The relationship between husband and wife is the core of all relationships. Manage your relationship well, work together, and face difficulties together. Look for the good in each other. Negotiate and agree to listen to your partner this time, and her the next. The family will benefit more from listening to whoever has the better idea.

Show more concern for her and her daughter. This requires wisdom, observation, and expression skills. Also, establish boundaries. The relationship between the new family members needs to be nurtured. When your spouse and her daughter truly see that you have made a lot of effort for them, they will trust and understand you. Good luck.

Greetings, question asker. My name is Teacher Zhang, and I am an intern listener on the Yixinli platform.

The issue at hand appears to pertain to the upbringing of the second wife's daughter. However, the underlying concern is arguably more fundamental, namely the mutual trust, communication, and understanding between you and your second wife.

The statements made by the child's mother, "I can see that you either don't consider her your biological daughter or you can't stand her," are imbued with a complex array of meanings.

1. The mother is concerned that you do not genuinely accept and love your daughter because she is not your biological child.

2. The mother is concerned that the second marriage and the reconstituted family will be unable to provide the child with a satisfactory quality of life, which she believes will have a detrimental impact on the child.

3. The mother is concerned that you do not have a positive regard for children and is fearful that you will treat the child in an unfavourable manner.

Subsequently, she exhibited anger, disappointment, and even sadness. The subsequent words and actions, in turn, caused the subject to experience sadness.

When many women remarry, the primary consideration is not whether they love each other, but whether the other person can love their children, accept their children, and treat them well. Divorce often results in feelings of guilt and responsibility towards one's children, leading to the belief that ending the marriage has caused harm and distress.

Consequently, upon entering into a second marriage, there is a heightened concern and apprehension that the new spouse may not provide an optimal environment for the children, potentially leading to further distress. This explains the occurrence of seemingly minor issues, as previously mentioned.

In light of these concerns and apprehensions, can you begin to comprehend the rationale behind the other person's actions that evoke a sense of sadness in you?

From your account of the situation, it is evident that you are a person of integrity and do not exhibit the characteristics that the mother perceives as problematic. However, your actions and expressions have led to misinterpretations, disappointment, and sadness on her part. It is important to recognize that women and men differ in their thought processes and emotional responses. Women tend to be more emotionally sensitive and prone to emotional distress in the face of challenges, while men often approach problems with a more logical and reasoned perspective.

It is therefore incumbent upon the man to resolve these issues that cause his wife concern and distress. He is in a position to perceive more clearly and respond in a more rational manner.

It is not necessary to be overly concerned with the dietary habits of one's children, nor is it productive to engage in disputes with one's spouse about this matter. The decision regarding the children's diet is ultimately the mother's prerogative, and it is essential to provide her with unwavering support. Even if one's actions are motivated by a desire to promote the children's well-being, if the mother does not acknowledge or appreciate them, it is unlikely to elicit gratitude.

It is not possible to alter the manner in which the mother treats the child; doing so would have a detrimental impact on the relationship between the couple.

Conversely, if one offers support and cooperation to one's partner, the other will experience feelings of love and understanding. When the other person feels the love and understanding one has for them, the relationship will become more harmonious and improve. Many problems will no longer be perceived as problematic.

Life is inherently challenging, and it is often more beneficial to have a partner with whom to navigate these difficulties than to face them alone. Given that you are married, it is advisable to collaborate with your spouse in order to more effectively cope with the challenges of life.

I wish you the best of luck!

In stepfamilies, the parent with custody feels they must protect the children from hardship. If the other parent is mean to your children, you won't accept it and there will often be arguments.

They worry the other person is being bad to the child, so they argue.

The original poster needs to know that a 14-year-old is going through a rebellious phase and that there have been major changes in the family.

Adults should understand the child's anxiety, powerlessness, and insecurity.

Demanding the child follow a strict diet will make the child feel threatened, like you don't like them, find fault with them, and increase their sense of insecurity.

The child has two reactions:

The first is timid and does whatever you say.

The second child will be picky eaters and rebellious.

If the child's mother is also in a difficult situation, it will lead to more arguments.

The questioner should be patient with a child of this age and show them you are a good father.

Children this age have sensitive emotions and strong opinions. They need to be talked to slowly and gently, not suddenly.

The questioner should talk to the child's mother to make sure everyone in the family knows the rules.