After high school, I became introverted and could not integrate into the group. Was it my fault?

It is important to note that being introverted is not a personal failing. Everyone has unique personalities and social preferences. Introverts often prefer to be alone and think deeply, but this does not mean that they cannot have meaningful relationships or successfully integrate into groups.

However, if you feel you are having difficulty socially or are being bullied, this could be a cause for concern.

Firstly, it is important to note that workplace bullying is unacceptable. If you are being bullied, it is important to understand that it is not your fault and that you have the right to seek help. The following tips may be helpful:

1. Record the evidence. If feasible, document the time, location, method, and individuals involved in the incident.

2. **Seek support**: Speak with a trusted individual, such as a colleague, family member, or friend. They can provide emotional support and may also be able to offer guidance.

3. Report bullying: Most companies have anti-bullying policies in place, and you can report these behaviors through the appropriate channels.

4. **Professional assistance:** If the situation is affecting your mental health, you may wish to consider seeking professional counseling.

5. Know your rights: Be aware of your rights at work, including the right to be treated with respect and fairness.

With regard to your introverted personality, you may wish to consider the following methods to enhance your social experience:

1. Take it one step at a time. Begin with smaller social events and gradually increase your involvement.

2. **Shared interests**: It is advisable to join clubs or groups with people who share your interests, as this will facilitate the establishment of common ground.

3. **Self-acceptance**: Accept your introverted personality and recognize that introverts can also form deep relationships.

4. Communication Skills: Develop and hone your communication abilities, including active listening, nonverbal communication, and effective expression of emotions.

5. Self-Improvement: Enhance your social skills through reading, online courses, etc.

It is important to remember that change takes time. Everyone has their own pace and timing, so it is essential to find a way that suits you to adapt and grow.

If you feel that your current work environment is not suitable for you, you may wish to consider seeking a more inclusive and supportive work environment as an alternative. It is important to take care of your mental health and take positive steps to improve your situation.

Hello, question asker. I can tell from your question that you're not happy with your current situation. It seems like you were previously more accepting of not being able to truly integrate into a relationship, but now, at work, this seems to be causing you some distress. You mentioned that you are currently being bullied. What's the specific situation like?

You also said that you became more introverted and didn't like to talk much after high school. Did that have any impact on you?

When you talk about these things, I can sense your sadness, grief, and maybe even a little powerlessness. You get a bit annoyed just thinking about going to work, and it feels like you can't make a good start. Bad relationships are formed, and it's hard to change them.

You say that sometimes you really want to quit your job, and I get it.

These emotions make the questioner feel pretty uncomfortable at work, so now it's time to face them. So, do you want to escape or face it?

I think it takes courage to come here and ask a question, and at the same time, I think you're motivated to make a change.

If you're ready to make a change, now is the time. You can find a professional counselor to help you through a short-term listening session or a longer counseling session.

It doesn't matter if you're introverted or not, or if you want to integrate with others. What matters is being true to yourself, reducing internal conflict, and making yourself happier.

All the best.

It is important to remember that you are not alone in this experience. Many people find themselves in this situation at some point in their lives, particularly during adolescence and early adulthood, when their understanding of themselves and social relationships is constantly evolving.

It is important to remember that feeling like you don't fit in or are being bullied is a painful experience, but it is not your fault.

It is important to remember that being an introvert is not a flaw; it is simply a personality type. Introverts tend to be more thoughtful, good listeners, and have deeper personal feelings. While being introverted does not mean that they cannot integrate into a group, it may take longer and more effort to establish deep interpersonal relationships.

It is important to remember that workplace-bullying-feeling-constrained-how-should-one-heal-15310.html" target="_blank">bullying in any form is unacceptable. Verbal abuse, exclusion, and other forms of unfair treatment can have a negative impact on a person's mental health over time.

If you find yourself in a situation at work where you feel you are being bullied, it is important to remember that you are not to blame and that you have the right to seek help and change the situation.

We hope the following suggestions will be of help to you in improving your situation:

1. It might be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or professional (e.g., a counselor). They can provide emotional support or give professional advice.

2. **Build self-confidence**: Consider developing your interests and skills to boost your self-confidence. It's important to remember that everyone has their own unique value and abilities.

3. **Small steps to socialize**: It is not necessary to try to integrate into the group all at once. You can start with small interactions, such as building friendships with one or two colleagues.

4. It is also important to be aware of your rights in the workplace and to know how to seek help or take action if you are being bullied.

5. It might be helpful to consider career development. If you feel that your current work environment is not a good fit for you, you may wish to explore options that could provide a healthier, more suitable work environment.

6. **Psychological counseling**: If the situation is serious, it might be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional counselor to assist you in navigating these emotions and experiences.

It is important to remember that change does not happen overnight. Taking action is always preferable to remaining stuck in a situation that is not fulfilling. You have the right to live a satisfying life, and it is important not to give up on finding the support and resources that will help you achieve this.

It is often the case that there is no absolute right or wrong, just different perspectives. It may therefore be helpful to focus on doing what we can and what we should do well first, and then deal with the rest as it comes.

1. It's important to recognize that both introverts and extroverts have their strengths and weaknesses.

It's important to remember that extroversion and introversion can vary greatly from person to person and from situation to situation. Just as an extrovert may feel constrained in areas or situations where they're not as comfortable, an introvert may also be able to speak eloquently in their familiar fields. It's always wise to avoid rushing to label ourselves.

For example, at work, it might be helpful to consider whether our own work is meeting the standards we set for ourselves, rather than focusing on whether others are treating us fairly. If we feel we are not performing at our best, it's important to recognize that the workplace does not support individuals who are not engaged in their work. When we are unable to do our job well, it's valuable to take a step back and reflect on why that might be. Is it because the task is challenging, or is it because we have not yet fully mastered a certain skill? If the task is within our abilities, it's essential to give it our best effort. If we do a good job and encounter someone who is deliberately trying to harm us, it's important to remember that people with skills will never go hungry. Having a certain level of skill is the foundation for our own success, and it's something that no one else can replace.

2. How might we best navigate interpersonal relationships?

It is challenging to please everyone, so it is important to learn to accept our own shortcomings, be open to feedback from others, embrace change and improvement where it is beneficial, and choose to focus on what is most important to us.

I believe that the value of getting along with others lies in sincerity. Even if there is sometimes an element of exploitation, that is only natural. We can replace exploitation with an exchange of equal value. It is like when we get along with others, we definitely want the other person to be down-to-earth, have a bottom line, and abide by certain rules. When we can achieve this, we have already established a certain foundation.

At the same time, we have the opportunity to improve ourselves, develop some hobbies, and allow ourselves not to be limited by certain ideas. Often, in a group, it is not necessary to blend in in order to get along, but to have one's own independent value. After all, dispensability and indispensability are different. So it would be beneficial for us to figure out how to become more useful.

My name is Mo Xiaofan, and I offer heart exploration coaching. If you have any concerns or would like to discuss something, you are welcome to choose the heart exploration service on your personal page.

Hello, I'm a Heart Detective coach, Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey, and I'm here to help!

I've been there, done that, and got the T-shirt! I once witnessed a classmate being beaten up by a group of people. I can understand the questioner's unease about being bullied, and I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. Let me give you a big hug!

Absolutely! There are bad people and good people in every environment, whether it's school, society, or the workplace. If we always focus on the negative, it will make us more negative.

The bully may be more fragile than the person being bullied, so they use this barbaric method to prove their sense of control and vulnerability. That's why they always bully the honest people who don't fight back—it's a sure thing!

Oh, I bet something happened to the questioner in high school that made him introverted! Or was it just because he had seen bullying and was worried about his relationships?

Do you want to know how to avoid being bullied? It's simple! Just show that you have a backbone. When you do, the other person will think twice before doing anything.

There's a great saying: the way others treat you is up to you. You have the power to decide how you want to be treated! Bullying can be either zero or infinite. When you show that you are not to be bullied, the other person will stay away from you. So when you face unreasonable demands for the first time, try saying no. This may help the questioner defend their rights.

The world is a vibrant place, filled with people seeking profit. It's a dynamic environment where everyone is striving for success. In the workplace, interactions that add value emotionally and professionally are highly valued. So, what kind of conflict of interest has the questioner had with their colleague that they feel bullied?

The questioner may try to step outside of their own perspective and objectively look at the conflict with their colleague. It's a great idea to ask yourself, "Do the other person's assessment indicators conflict with my own?" When the other person's indicators are different from the questioner's, it is often easier for conflicts to erupt. I also often drink with others at work because the butt decides the head, and each person works hard for their own assessment.

It's time to figure out if the other person is intentionally making things difficult for you or if it's simply a case of differing job functions. When we try to adopt a non-judgmental perspective, it can help the questioner view and solve the problem more objectively.

Ask yourself: is the current interpersonal relationship not going well because there is a real conflict about to erupt? Or is there a moment when you don't like each other in the process of interacting with colleagues?

Is the other person having a hard time because his work needs have not been met, or is it because the other person is more difficult to get along with? Either way, there's a chance to make a positive change! Try to observe the way the other person gets along with individual people, which may help the questioner see the difference.

Ask yourself: could this job and its salary support your passion? Every company has people you don't like, so the questioner may not have to care too much about this person.

I'm sure there are plenty of colleagues who would be perfect for the questioner! Surely there are more people who have a good relationship with the questioner than people who don't!

Absolutely! Focusing on the positive aspects of your work is a great way to help you adjust to the situation.

Adler said it best: All troubles stem from interpersonal relationships. What the questioner needs may not be recognition from others, but acceptance from oneself. When we accept ourselves, we can live our best lives because we are different from others!

Absolutely! Focusing on the most important goals in your work is a great way to reduce the emotional drain of interpersonal relationships. After all, the value of work can bring us benefits, while interpersonal relationships can lead to self-defeating emotional consumption.

Make yourself the best you can be, and when you become an authority in a field, the other party will respect you more! As Zhang Xiaofei once said, "When you are popular, you will be surrounded by good people." The workplace is the same way!

I'm so excited to recommend this amazing book: "Just the Right Amount of Solitude."

Wishing you the very best!

Hello, I'm Coach Yu, a heart detective, and I'm thrilled to discuss this topic with you!

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of interpersonal relationships! Alfred Adler, the brilliant founder of individual psychology, once proposed an intriguing idea: that all human troubles originate from our relationships with others. It's because we're all naturally afraid of being disliked and hurt in these relationships that we often develop an inferiority complex.

In fact, the inferiority complex that plagues people is often not an "objective fact" but a "subjective interpretation." This is great news! It means that we can change our mindsets and truly integrate into relationships. We can stop believing that "introverts are unpopular" and "extroverts can win the favor of others."

So, the challenges in our relationships have just opened a door that can lead us deeper into our hearts and help us see the "real self."

As the original poster said, after high school, my personality became introverted, I didn't like to talk, and I became even more withdrawn in college.

Let's take a trip down memory lane! When you raised an idea or a request, did your parents respond with encouragement or with a serious rejection?

When children receive negative responses frequently, they will lack self-confidence and be in a state of unease and anxiety, which will affect their social integration and interpersonal relationships when they grow up. But there is hope! We can choose to challenge ourselves with familiar or close people first, such as family members and close friends, and try to start with a relaxed self-introduction, expressing needs in simple language, so that we can improve our confidence through action. Sometimes creating a breakthrough can break a cycle. Let's talk about acceptance. Everyone is imperfect, and everyone has a side they don't want to touch, which we might call the dark side. People around us don't want to accept it, and we can't face it ourselves. So we put on a mask and disguise ourselves as a character that others like, but we lead a very tired life. But we can change that!

We can choose to challenge ourselves with familiar or close people first, such as family members and close friends. We can even try to start with a relaxed self-introduction, expressing needs in simple language, so that we can improve our confidence through action. Sometimes creating a breakthrough can break a cycle.

Now, let's talk about acceptance! We all have imperfections, and we all have a dark side that we might not want to face. But here's the good news: we don't have to! We can choose to embrace our imperfections and face our dark side. When we do, we'll discover a newfound freedom and joy.

As the original poster said, I used to be a quiet, good person, but I'm now ready to embrace my inner strength! I'm facing some challenges at work, but I'm determined to overcome them.

Let's try something new! We can ask ourselves what emotions and feelings being bullied brings to us.

We can also try to ask ourselves what inner needs are driving the thought of quitting. This is a great way to identify what we truly want and need!

Let's also ask ourselves: What have I done at work that may have led to the current bad relationship? And what are the ideal work and interpersonal relationships?

What can I do?

We can learn to be at peace with our emotions! When we feel anxious, we can take a deep breath and remind ourselves, "This is not the truth!" By allowing emotions to flow, we can prevent ourselves from succumbing to distorted behavior caused by emotional suppression.

Another great way to understand your emotions is through the therapeutic method of writing. It's a fantastic way to express yourself and get to the heart of the matter. Just let your thoughts flow freely and don't hold back! This will help us understand the causes and effects of emotions and also help us clarify the root of the problem.

We can also seek help because we can do this! If this thing is bothering you, it is not easy to overcome it immediately. But you can do it! Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to, to express your feelings and accept them.

If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor, because the inner shadow must be seen and accepted before habitual negative thoughts can slowly disappear. This is an amazing opportunity for you to take control of your life!

We also have the amazing opportunity to enrich our inner selves, discover our own unique value, go out more to experience the real nature, communicate more with friends and family to experience real interpersonal relationships, and chat more with colleagues to experience the real workplace. At the same time, we get to maintain an ordinary heart, because an ordinary heart is a calm confidence, and confidence is a firm ordinary heart.

I'm so excited to recommend this book: "The Courage to Be Disliked"!