After joining the company, I want to make the best effort to get along well with everyone. Is there no true friendship in the workplace?

It's totally normal to feel the way you do at work and in social situations. We all have different personalities and preferences, so it's only natural to have different reactions and feelings when getting along with others. Please don't be too hard on yourself or doubt yourself. You're doing great!

First of all, you mentioned that you try your best to get along with everyone, which is a great attitude to have! Getting along with people does require joint efforts from both sides, though. Just showing enthusiasm on your part won't necessarily get the same response.

It's totally normal to feel like you have a problem when you're trying to get along with people. It's just part of life! Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can't get the same level of response from others.

Secondly, you mentioned that some colleagues give you the impression of being aloof and serious, which may be due to their personality or emotional state at the time. It's so important to remember that everyone has their own emotions and states, and sometimes it may not be directed at you personally.

So don't worry too much about how they're doing, and don't let it get you down.

Finally, regarding the specialty food you brought, it's possible that your colleagues didn't respond the way you expected for various reasons. But that doesn't mean they didn't like or value your gift! Maybe they have their own way of expressing themselves, or maybe they were just too busy to respond in time.

You could try bringing it up in a relaxed way, like, "Hey, have you tried the specialty food I brought? What do you think?"

This way, you can avoid making the atmosphere awkward and get their feedback.

In short, getting along with people is a process of continuous learning and experimentation. It's okay not to care too much about other people's reactions, and it's also okay not to negate yourself because of temporary setbacks.

Keep up the great work! Stay enthusiastic and sincere, and learn to accept and respect the differences in others. I'm sure you'll find a way to socialize that suits you, and you'll also meet people who truly understand and value you.

Hi, great question!

You feel helpless and confused. You don't know how to build good relationships with your colleagues. You want to be popular at work and get attention from everyone. Your goodwill hasn't worked, so you're disappointed and doubt yourself. Let's explore together to see what's going on.

[All-or-nothing thinking]

From "proactive goodwill" to "self-doubt," there's an "all-or-nothing" mindset. "All" means you're loved, "nothing" means you're not. Think about it. Are there any relationships where you neither like nor dislike each other?

Most of your colleagues like you because you work together. You brought your hometown specialty to your colleagues to make them notice you, but it didn't work. Why?

What did you learn from this?

Do you put it in the common area or your colleagues' desks?

How can I improve next time? I think if you give it to 10 colleagues, 8 will thank you, 5 will say it tastes good, and 1 will say thank you but refuse.

If someone rejects you, it will make you feel worse than if they accepted.

[Emotional regulation]

It's normal to feel loss when you interact with someone who is cold and serious. However, your inability to regulate negative emotions hinders your interpersonal relationships. You can observe this in your daily life and accept that rejection is not your fault. It's just that the other person is different from you.

Why are you so sensitive to rejection and neglect? One possibility is:

[The state of omnipotent narcissism]

Babies from birth to 6 months old are in a state of "all-powerful narcissism." They believe that everything can be achieved and all needs can be met. If these needs cannot be met, the baby will feel helpless. This can affect them in their future lives and cause them to retreat to a state of "all-powerful narcissism."

This concept is for your reference only. You may not be in this situation, and you can learn more by reading books and seeking help from psychologists.

I hope this helps.

I'm your friend, Potato Maling. Thanks for listening.

Dear Questioner, I can empathize with the predicament you have outlined.

Firstly, it is important to recognise that interpersonal relationship issues are a common occurrence in the workplace. However, it is essential to understand that everyone's expectations and requirements in this regard differ. Some individuals may be content with a basic level of interaction, while others may aspire to form genuine friendships at work. The reality of the situation often depends on the input of both parties, as a relationship requires mutual effort and understanding. It is therefore crucial not to undervalue your own needs and contributions.

Secondly, it must be acknowledged that in the workplace, work ability is of greater importance than interpersonal relationships. Some individuals may possess a short temper, but if they are highly proficient in their work, others will still interact with them. This is particularly evident in technical fields, where individuals possess abilities that others do not. The supervisor will have to maintain a positive image. I am unaware of the specific nature of your work, but I would advise you to enhance your work ability and value. Initially, once you have organised your time effectively and achieved fulfilment, you will have no time to consider other matters. Secondly, your ability will also improve. If you can gain the recognition of those around you, it will also be of significant benefit to your career. At that point, you may find that others will naturally seek to work with you.

Thirdly, I would advise you to enhance your sense of self. People are afraid of loneliness, and this can be attributed to a number of factors, including insecurities and a lack of confidence. It is important to note that there is no stigma attached to eating or shopping alone. It is essential to learn to be comfortable with solitude. On the other hand, it is beneficial to expand your social circle. This can be achieved by working hard at your job, improving yourself, maintaining good relationships outside of work, and participating in activities such as book clubs and interest classes. These provide an opportunity to meet people with common interests, which can facilitate the development of deeper friendships.

The above represents my personal opinion in response to your question. I hope it will be helpful. If there is anything I have overlooked or misrepresented, I hope you can understand. Thank you.

My name is Ava, and I am a whale. I believe that there is always something positive in the world to make you feel that it's worth living.

Dear questioner, The present situation is beneficial. It is important to be grateful for the opportunity to engage with others.

From perusing your description, it is evident that you are perplexed about the nature of workplace relationships and harbor a modicum of disillusionment.

Let us embrace each other and engage in discourse on this subject.

1. To ascertain the underlying motivation behind this behavior

It is evident that you are sincere in your efforts to communicate with colleagues and foster positive relationships. However, it is important to recognize that the dynamics of the workplace often dictate a certain level of reciprocity in interpersonal interactions.

Once this harsh reality is acknowledged and accepted, a sense of inner calm may emerge.

Furthermore, it is essential to identify the underlying reasons behind this inclination to proactively initiate relationships, which often proves to be a source of fatigue. What are the genuine motivations underlying this behavior?

One must discern and analyze the specific reasons oneself. The following are a few examples of potential reasons: a lack of internal security, a fear of loneliness, a constant need to be accompanied when doing things, or a hope to get some help at work through friendship.

2. Enhance your personal development

In the workplace, personal ability is still a significant factor in professional advancement. Therefore, it is advisable to invest as much time as possible in self-improvement. It is important to identify areas of professional development, explore potential career paths, and ascertain the skills that would be beneficial to acquire.

One might posit that maintaining a sense of purpose and engagement with one's own activities could potentially mitigate the influence of external reactions on one's own sense of self-worth.

Concurrently, regardless of external responses, this process, although challenging, serves as a catalyst for personal growth. When one can relax and detach from external reactions, focusing instead on one's actions, one can choose to give rather than "please," and have no expectations of external responses, thus reducing the likelihood of being hurt.

3. Self-love

One might posit that the reason individuals are so concerned with the responses of others is because they have expectations of themselves. It is hoped that through one's own efforts, others will recognize, appreciate, or respect one's actions.

However, it is only when one recognizes oneself, appreciates oneself, and respects oneself that others will treat them in the same manner. It is not the case that the more one gives to others, the more they will give to one.

Consequently, when others do not provide what is desired, it serves as a reminder to love oneself.

It is not necessary to attempt to reconcile differences with all individuals, as it is unfeasible to do so. Given the diversity of preferences, habits, beliefs, and values among individuals, it is inevitable that there will be discord with some.

Even the Chinese currency, the renminbi, is not universally accepted. Some individuals also view money as devoid of intrinsic value.

It is not advisable to attempt to achieve harmonious relations with everyone, as this will inevitably result in fatigue and the inability to obtain one's desired outcomes. Instead, it is more beneficial to cultivate internal harmony and self-acceptance. When an individual is internally aligned and at peace, they will experience a sense of fulfillment and a reduction in external expectations and demands.

When one is not driven by expectations, one is not vulnerable to hurt. Furthermore, when one is not driven by expectations, one is able to give without expecting anything in return, which allows for the creation of comfort for oneself and others.

In conclusion, the root cause and the solution to this problem reside within the individual. It is imperative to cultivate self-love, self-sufficiency, and the capacity to appreciate and recognize oneself. Additionally, it is essential to consistently enhance one's inner energy, which will also attract individuals with high energy levels.

It is my hope that this response is of some assistance to you, and I wish you the best of luck!

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach. I encourage you to embrace your potential and pursue your goals with enthusiasm. Life is a journey of growth and fulfillment, not merely a means of appreciation.

I empathize with your situation. You are not trying to ingratiate yourself with your colleagues; you simply want to get along with them. As a newcomer in the workplace, you are still in the process of accumulating your own life experience. Let's share and discuss.

?1. Lack of response indicates a dead end.

When you receive no positive response from people, it can lead to feelings of being lost. Initially, you have provided without receiving an equal "reward." It is important to recognize that even a small gesture can be a valuable contribution.

Secondly, your focus on your circle of friends has also served to confirm certain of your thoughts. These include the view that they are less concerned about maintaining relationships than you are, and that there is no such thing as true friendship in the workplace.

It is only natural to feel frustrated when needs are not met. This can lead to feelings of doubt and self-denial, and even to the question of whether one deserves sincere friendship and acceptance.

"Seeing" the emotional satisfaction you want to obtain through your emotions will help you identify alternative sources of fulfillment. In addition to obtaining it through colleague relationships and interactions with each other, you can also turn "seeking outside" into "cultivating within" and nourish yourself.

You are deserving of friendship and love, respect, and recognition from others. You have the right to a wonderful life and a more and better life.

?2. Develop a repertoire of techniques and strategies that align with your personal style and preferences.

You take the initiative to extend goodwill to others, demonstrating your sincerity, for example, by inviting them on a trip. You bring your office colleagues specialty products, thinking that it will foster closer relationships, but they don't even express gratitude, which makes you feel isolated and at the same time lament the lack of connection between people.

It may be beneficial to consider a different approach to interpersonal relationships. One strategy could be to bring back souvenirs from your hometown. This allows everyone to participate in a "generalized system of preferences." Additionally, expressing gratitude to colleagues with whom you have a closer relationship in private can foster loyalty and growth.

Consider your experience in a WeChat group. When the group owner sends a message, few people respond because the owner is communicating with many people at once. There is no expectation for individuals to respond. However, if it is a private message, it is a direct, one-on-one communication. Would you not respond in this case?

It is not our general practice to read the group WeChat New Year's greetings. However, we do pay attention to greetings sent point-to-point with your name in them.

3. Increase your sense of inner value.

As previously stated, in addition to acquiring it through positive colleague relationships and interactions, you can also transform "external seeking" into "internal cultivation" and nourish yourself.

Your value is determined by your own subjective evaluation of yourself and is independent of external factors. The assessment of your performance by others, whether positive or negative, represents their personal opinions, which may not align with objective facts.

Additionally, it is important to be authentic. If you are extending a kind gesture to a colleague, it is because you genuinely want to, not because you feel obliged to.

It is important to let go of these expectations, be yourself from the heart, and maintain a normal colleague relationship with them. There is no need to deliberately be close or distant. While it would be ideal to develop a friendship, it is not a prerequisite for a professional relationship.

Similarly, there is no obligation to reciprocate a congratulatory gift. I will not make things difficult for you because you did not give me a gift. I will return it at the appropriate time.

Take the time to develop your own independent thinking skills so that you can eventually find your own way of surviving in the workplace.

I hope the above is helpful to you and beneficial to the world. Best regards,

Should you wish to continue our dialogue, you are invited to follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

The foundation of a great relationship is that you can provide each other with what you need. If it's a colleague, in addition to emotional value, there's also a sense of gain. If you want to build a fantastic relationship and friendship with a colleague, do you need to get emotional value or a sense of gain from it? Which need is greater?

If you're not looking to gain benefits from your colleagues, but rather to build a strong emotional and friendship bond, and everyone gets along well, then think back to your university days. There was no relationship of interest between classmates, but that didn't stop you from developing friendships with everyone! At that time, you only had to consider whether you were compatible, whether you could give each other emotional value, whether you liked it or not, and whether you disliked it or not. It was a simple, enjoyable process!

So, it's the same with colleagues! You don't need to deliberately cater to each other, invite them out, give them gifts, or find topics to chat about to develop a friendship. These are things you are not willing to do, according to your description, just to get emotional value in return. But, you can exchange friendship for doing things you don't like! You have done things you think you should do but don't like to do, and you are already unhappy, regardless of whether the result is as you wished. Not to mention that you have not received positive feedback, so you definitely cannot get the emotional value you expect. That can only mean that this approach will not work. But, there's a better way!

Your colleagues are not obliged to accept your goodwill in its entirety. They may not feel like going out with you, they may not see the need to do so, they may not want to find topics to chat about with you, they may not like or care for your special products, and they may even feel burdened by having to repay the favor. But this just shows that what you give your colleagues is something they don't need, so they are unable to reciprocate the friendship you expect. And that's okay! They don't want to be that tired, and there is nothing wrong with them.

Ready to develop a friendship? It's as simple as giving the other person what they really need, not what you think they need!

If you give in exchange for material value and don't get positive feedback, it just means that what you're giving isn't what they need. This is an opportunity to find out what they need and give it to them! Colleagues usually have more need for material value than for emotional value, so focus on that.

In terms of benefit value, if you focus on your colleagues' interests, you will usually have a good relationship. However, if you have no benefit value for your colleagues, or even a competitive relationship, including competing for the top performance, competing for the position and promotion opportunities, competing for the appreciation of the leader, shirking responsibilities and trying to pass the work you don't want to do to others, there's still plenty of room for improvement! In such a relationship, can sending specialty products and treating your colleagues to meals make them willingly share their performance bonuses or promotion opportunities with you for the sake of friendship? Absolutely!

So, think carefully about what you really expect from the friendship you expect from your colleagues. What are the needs of your colleagues?

Now, think about what you can give them in exchange for emotional and material value. Once you have thought about this, you will know how to establish friendships with your colleagues!

In the workplace, your value is to create value! If your presence affects others' ability to create value, your kindness to others will not earn you emotional value. Meals, gifts, and conversations will have no value to them.

Once you grasp the power of interests, you can draw a relationship icon that shows how your interests connect with your colleagues' needs. This lets you see who you can become friends with and who you might not be able to connect with. It's an amazing way to understand your relationships!

Greetings,

I have carefully considered your message and can discern your caution, the goodwill you wish to convey, and your expectation of an equal response.

The question of whether interests and friendships can coexist in the workplace is one that is likely to elicit a variety of responses, based on the experiences of the individuals in question.

After further reflection, it appears that the friendships we have in our lives that are particularly close are not necessarily related to our interests. When our interests are introduced into the dynamic, the nature of the friendship may undergo a transformation. We may begin to perceive a shift in the balance of giving and receiving, and may even question the underlying motives of those involved.

The question thus arises as to who is in control of the relationship: the friendship boat, or something else? In some cases, the relationship has been completely upended.

From this perspective, the primary objective in the workplace is to achieve results, and the development of interpersonal relationships is an additional aspect. If such relationships are present, they are viewed as advantageous; if not, that is also considered to be within the normal range.

From a psychological perspective, those seeking personal growth may benefit from exploring the following questions:

What personal experiences have shaped your desire for professional friendships?

In what ways was the conviction that "good relationships are the key to success in the workplace" inculcated in you?

What is the definition of "good relationships"?

How might one ascertain whether others espouse similar values?

In the event of a discrepancy between one's own values and those of one's colleagues, how might one proceed in making a decision?

What effect would such a decision have on one's professional life?

What measures might be taken to alter these influences?

The preceding section has addressed several key considerations that may influence one's professional trajectory. However, there are additional factors that warrant examination.

One may continue to explore one's own identity. As one gains a deeper understanding of oneself, one's self-critical tendencies will diminish, leading to greater comfort and ease in one's professional environment.

It's totally normal to feel a bit disappointed and drained when it comes to making friends at work. After all, professional relationships are often more formal, and it can be easier to see where people's interests and social boundaries lie. But don't worry! This doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or that there aren't any real friendships in the workplace. We've all been there! Here are some tips to help you through these feelings:

1. Be patient! Workplace friendships may take a little longer to develop and may not be as close as friendships in your social circle. It's okay! Just accept this and adjust your expectations of workplace friendships.

2. Self-reflection: Take a moment to understand why you feel disappointed and drained. Could it be that your definition of friendship is a little too idealistic?

Or maybe you're just not sure about your social skills? Self-reflection is a great way to help you understand your feelings better and find ways to cope.

3. Be genuine: We all know how hard it can be to be the one who always initiates things. It's so important to be genuine and friendly, though. You never know, your sincerity and friendliness might be remembered even if others don't respond immediately.

4. Find common interests: It's always a great idea to try to find topics or activities that you have in common with your colleagues. This can help you build deeper connections!

5. Accept boundaries: We all have our own social boundaries and preferences. Some people may not be into frequent social activities, or they may prefer to focus more on work when they're at work.

And remember, it's so important to accept these boundaries and respect their choices.

6. Expand your social circle: Don't limit yourself to socializing in the office! Try joining social activities outside of work or joining an interest group, which can help you meet more like-minded people.

7. Focus on personal growth: It's a great idea to focus your energy on personal growth and professional development. By enhancing your skills and abilities, you can increase opportunities for interaction with colleagues and potentially forge friendships based on shared goals and respect.

8. Seek support: If you feel lonely or need a helping hand, don't be afraid to ask for advice or help from colleagues or other people at work. You'll be surprised how much you can connect with others through shared problems and experiences!

9. Stay confident: You are worthy just as you are! Your value and strengths are not affected by others.

10. Professional help: If you find you can't cope with these feelings on your own, please don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. They're there to provide strategies and tools to help you better manage your emotions and build self-confidence.

Remember, building friendships takes time and patience. You can't always control the outcome, but that's okay! Focus on your own happiness and career development. And remember, sometimes the best friendships appear in the most unexpected moments.

Hello, question asker!

I can tell you're feeling a little confused about this, so I'll answer your question from my own experience.

It can be tough to find true friends in the workplace. After all, everyone goes to work to make a living, and we all come from different backgrounds.

After all, everyone has different backgrounds and experiences, which naturally leads to different ways of understanding the good intentions of others.

The workplace is a whole other ballgame than school. Everyone's got their own interests, and that's okay! I'm there to make money, and I'm not there to make friends.

It's totally possible to make friends at work! But it's also true that most people in the workplace know that when you leave the company, the colleague relationship will also come to an end.

I would gently suggest that the author focus on doing a great job and not worry about getting involved in relationships at work.

Of course, it's always great to get along with people! It's very likely that colleagues you can trust will become good friends. Just remember to keep it within the workplace as much as possible.

It's just that because so many people have gone out into society to work, they're a little more cautious about their personal lives. After all, as the saying goes, there's no harm in being a little suspicious, but there's no harm in being cautious!

In short, if you're lucky enough to find someone you click with, you'll be great friends. If you don't, that's okay too! It just means you'll never be friends, no matter how hard you try.

I really hope this helps! I'm so happy I could answer your question.

Good day, Thank you for your thoughtful question. I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. I am not sure of the nature of your company. Different types of companies, such as foreign, state-owned, or private enterprises, may have varying work cultures and atmospheres. It is likely that we will develop different mindsets in different work environments.

Some people in the workplace have to overcome many challenges to achieve success, while others simply aim to establish positive connections and foster better relationships with colleagues, hoping to gain some friendships. Having a larger support network can also be beneficial in other aspects of life.

It is also worth noting that there are individuals who may not be as invested in their work as they could be, or who simply see their role as a means of earning the required social insurance and housing fund contributions. Regardless of the specific objectives of the work in question, it is likely that everyone will gather in this office.

It might be said that everyone has a different mentality and different goals.

It's possible that you've encountered someone who may not be inclined to pursue a friendship. If they do wish to develop a connection, they might begin sending signals after a period of time has passed, seeking feedback on your personal and friendly behavior.

For instance, if you bring them souvenirs as a way of extending an invitation to spend time together, there is a possibility that they may reciprocate by offering you food, sharing something interesting with you, or even spending time with you. However, it is important to note that this is merely a possibility and may not necessarily reflect reality.

It would seem that none of the colleagues in this company have displayed such behavior thus far. This suggests that your expectations may differ from those of the other person. It's possible that your expectations are to make friends, while the other person's expectations are simply to focus on their work and view this as a matter of business.

It is also possible that the other person is genuinely interested in developing a friendship.

It is also possible that if they discover that their energy fields are not particularly similar during their time together, this can also happen. For example, if they really just want to do their job honestly at the beginning, then they may initially refuse your invitation, or politely decline some of the gifts or food you give them.

If they don't reject you at first, it may be because they accept your goodwill and your invitation. However, as you get to know each other, you may find that there are subtle differences that are hard to express in words. It's also worth bearing in mind that people with different moral standards may not get along.

This is the case with many things. While having a good vision and a kind heart can certainly contribute to a positive outcome, it's important to recognize that everyone has their own demands, habits, and hobbies. If the two of you don't already have a mutual understanding where you can discuss anything,

It is possible that there may be some challenging aspects to becoming friends, and this is something you may wish to reflect on. It can be difficult to try your best to get along with everyone, as we all have our own temperaments. Some people may be open to being invited again after you take the initiative, while others may not.

Some people are very serious in their official dealings and rarely smile. It can feel like a very depressing work atmosphere when you're not given any response when you give people local specialties. It's important to remember that it's not always your problem, but you may find it helpful to connect with one or two or three or four people who really care about you.

If someone cares about you, they will respond to you. If they don't, it may be challenging to make friends in this kind of atmosphere. It's possible that their energy field is aligned with the company or the job, as some positions naturally require people to work independently.

Or there may be a sense of competition. It is understandable that everyone is focused on their own interests, which can make it more challenging to form friendships. For instance, individuals in sales or technology development roles may still be mindful of each other's performance as colleagues, or be cautious that the other person's research and inventions may be slightly superior to their own.

It is also worth noting that the company's system allows for a certain degree of competition within the group, which may contribute to a shift away from the close-knit, collaborative style of friendship and cooperation that some may prefer. In contrast, there are companies that do not prioritize competition and instead embrace a more cooperative approach.

It might be beneficial to consider fostering collaboration between positions in various departments, as this could potentially facilitate the development of friendships. Given the minimal conflicts of interest and the relatively similar ranking structures, it is possible that the overall atmosphere in the company may be more harmonious, with a greater sense of teamwork and collaboration.

It might be helpful to consider that there is not much to be gained from focusing on conflicts of interest or competition for rankings. When we encounter a problem, it could be beneficial to take a step back and think about external problems. Rather than focusing on our own challenges, it might be more productive to consider how we can support others. It's important to recognize that we have done our part and to allow others to contribute in their own way.

If others don't respond to him, perhaps we could put it aside for now and try not to always try to get along with everyone. It's okay if there are some people she just doesn't want to get along with. I also recommend that you be able to have the necessary psychological counseling or psychological counseling to make you feel more at ease.

Could I just check with you about ZQ?

Good morning.

I can appreciate your frustration. It's evident that you've invested a great deal of effort, but it seems that your efforts are not being reciprocated. This frustration is quite significant, and you've begun to question your ability to connect with others, wondering if you're not likeable.

I am sorry to see you so distressed, so I am offering you a gesture of support and encouragement. I want you to know that I do not hold you responsible for this situation.

I assume you are relatively new to the workplace. I imagine you were highly regarded in school, with excellent interpersonal skills and a large network of friends. Many of your classmates were likely eager to establish connections with you.

Upon entering the workplace, you anticipated that you would be able to maintain the same level of social interaction you had at school. You assumed that if you continued to make friends in the same way you did before, you would gain a lot of friendships. However, you quickly realized that your colleagues were not as receptive as you had hoped.

The female colleague you met at your previous company will not take the initiative to engage in conversation or extend an invitation. You have joined this company, but the two female colleagues are even more indifferent and extremely cold, which makes you feel very frustrated.

As newcomers to the workplace, we recognize the importance of familiarizing ourselves with the work environment as soon as possible. We often seek guidance from our senior colleagues and are open to forming connections with a few individuals to facilitate a smooth transition and maintain a productive pace. The workplace culture emphasizes collaboration, and fostering positive relationships with colleagues is a valuable asset in our professional growth.

It would be beneficial to investigate why your colleagues did not respond to your proactive invitations, conversations, and gifts of hometown specialties.

1. Corporate Culture: There is minimal emphasis on teamwork or corporate culture, and management discourages the formation of cliques or exclusive employee groups.

As a result, colleagues tend to avoid forming close personal relationships with each other.

2. Personal habits of colleagues. Some colleagues may be overlooked or excluded from social interactions in the workplace. They may have experienced exclusion or negative interactions in the past and may be particularly cautious in forming new relationships.

Your special enthusiasm and friendliness may be misinterpreted as ulterior motives and a sign of scheming.

3. There has been minimal interaction between you and your colleagues, resulting in a lack of familiarity. Similarly, your colleagues have limited knowledge about you, your character, and your background. Additionally, they are unaware of which individuals within the company you are closely connected to.

Concerned about potential exploitation, they refrain from hasty actions and may take a moment to assess the situation.

Given that we are in the same department and will eventually become colleagues, it is important that we coexist peacefully. While it may not be feasible to establish friendships with our colleagues, it is essential that we work harmoniously and effectively.

It is also important to understand our own needs in the workplace. In addition to the basic requirements of having a job and an income, what do colleagues mean to us?

What is the significance of indifference and rejection from colleagues?

It is not uncommon to find that, despite one's best efforts, it is difficult to establish a friendship at work. This is particularly the case when colleagues are in the same department and there is a competitive element to the relationship. When there is an opportunity for promotion, it is natural for individuals to compete vigorously.

Furthermore, establishing a friendship or friendly relationship in the workplace is a rare occurrence. It is not feasible to achieve such a relationship through unilateral efforts.

Furthermore, it should be noted that the workplace is primarily concerned with professional relationships, and the formation of friendships is indeed a rare occurrence.

"Try your best to get along with everyone" is a challenging expectation to meet. Relationships are complex, and no matter how hard one tries, it is not possible to have a positive relationship with more than two people.

These expectations are high, and it is important to maintain a healthy sense of self-compassion. Adapting to a new identity and environment is a natural process, and it may be helpful to prioritize work initially.

As you gain proficiency in your role, you may gradually become more familiar with your colleagues and gradually integrate into the team.

It is important to understand your own capabilities and limitations. We have done our best, and we have acted in accordance with our predetermined goals. However, we cannot be held responsible for outcomes beyond our control.

The reasons behind this are particularly complex, and we can also take the time to observe them. Is it the corporate culture, the leadership style, or a personal issue?

Additionally, you can expand your network by connecting with colleagues in other departments who do not have competitive relationships. In summary, it is important to accept the current situation, embrace your strengths, learn to manage your time effectively, and focus on your personal growth.

I believe in the world and in you. I also believe in your ability to love yourself.

Dear questioner,

My name is Liu, and I'm a listening coach.

From your statement, I see a girl who is enthusiastic, sincere, and eager to make friends at work. You treat your colleagues well and expect a response, and rightfully so. However, it seems that time and time again we hit a "wall" in workplace relationships, and every time we give, we don't get the response we expect. We feel disappointed and frustrated, as well as self-doubt, but we shouldn't.

First, it is only natural for us to desire good relationships in the workplace.

It's no secret that having close friends at work is tough. It might sound harsh, but it's the truth. Even when we know this, it's only natural to have high expectations.

When I first entered the workplace, I was eager to get along with my colleagues and cared about what others thought. I often questioned whether I was being too sensitive. Later, I worried if I was being too accommodating. Despite no major conflicts, poor workplace interpersonal relationships make "going to work" a more exhausting and draining experience. An unstable state of mind can also lead to a lack of attention, and it seems that the most important goal of doing one's best at work has also been blurred. In my comprehensive assessment of myself, being good at getting along with others has accounted for too large a proportion.

Needless to say, I have since adjusted and grown, and reading your words brought this experience back to mind.

Good workplace relationships make us feel comfortable in the workplace. We must not allow the fear of being marginalized to stand in our way. The workplace is full of pressure to survive and compete. Potential anxiety will always be present, but we can conquer it.

In the workplace, we work hard to get along with others because we want friends, not to be left alone, and to be welcomed.

It proves something.

2. We all have good reasons for wanting to make good friends at work.

(1) The anxiety of being alienated.

One of the main challenges that many friends face when they first enter the workplace is navigating interpersonal relationships. Just as we were taught at school, some parents will tell their children that you not only have to study hard to get good grades, but also get along well with others. You can't be marginalized; you should be affirmed and recognized in this environment to show your "goodness." We also carry this kind of psychological pressure when we enter the workplace. In order to avoid being an outsider, we often try very hard to gain the goodwill of others.

(2) The desire for close friends and loneliness

Many people absolutely need to socialize, and the modern pace is actually really fast. If our work occupies most of our lives, our main field of communication with others will be the workplace. In some cases, the only space we can interact with others is the workplace.

The emotional need to gain friendship is strong, and the environment that allows opportunities to make friends and get to know them is relatively scarce.

Loneliness and the desire to share can become a very strong driving force. This is why you will be proactive in showing goodwill to others and enthusiastically inviting them to hang out together on the weekend.

If the other person has their own stable social circle and isn't motivated to develop a friendship with a colleague,

We will feel alienated.

3. Based on your situation, I am going to give you some suggestions, which are based on my experience and which I think you should take on board.

(1) Socializing is not like taking an exam, where you can get full marks if you work hard. Making good friends is actually not easy, and it's not something we can completely control.

I can see that you've tried your best, and I can also see your disappointment. Some things are indeed difficult to force. You're right, making friends is also a mutual and equal relationship. There's no solution if the other person doesn't take a single step forward, even if you take 99 steps.

Let me be clear: it's not because you're not good enough.

From your description, it's clear that you're a very giving friend in real life. You're enthusiastic and generous with sharing, and you care about and consider the feelings of others. Social interaction is a mutual interaction of wills. Everyone has their own criteria for choosing friends and different strengths of will. Therefore, in the relationship you mentioned, the other person's willingness to make friends is not strong. This doesn't make you a bad friend.

Don't fall into the whirlpool of excessive self-denial.

We must consider why we are so obsessed with relationships that don't respond to us. One strategy for dealing with such relationships is to lower our psychological expectations.

(2) Understand the "boundaries" that naturally exist in the workplace. In an environment called "work," making close friends is not the main task for everyone. And we must establish some boundaries.

You must also adjust your emotions.

We have a right to expect that our work will improve our quality of life. Many of our basic demands in the workplace are that we obtain our rights and also assume our obligations according to the labor agreement.

A materialistic drive alone is not enough. People do a job because they have their own outlook on the cause, and their ideals or even beliefs about a cause will drive us to become a better version of ourselves.

Many friends have clear boundaries at work. Outside of work, people have standards for choosing a spouse and principles for choosing friends. Everyone gathers together to form a team and work together for various reasons, but they may not necessarily become close friends. Everyone's most basic role is "colleague." Colleagues have their own private lives, and everyone has their own boundaries about whether they agree to let others enter their interactions outside of work and become involved in more personal emotions.

It is crucial to understand that respecting the boundaries of others is essential.

If this isn't the relationship model the other person wants,

We must ask ourselves: is it really necessary for us to be the ones to take the initiative?

You are always the one taking the initiative, and it can be exhausting. Don't let the lack of a warm response make you feel like you're giving too much. This feeling often appears in our adolescence or even earlier, but you can overcome it.

We should talk to someone we trust or a professional psychologist to understand the psychological issues and motivations behind it. Regardless, when you're exhausted, you must prioritize guarding your energy.

(3) Love yourself in the same way you treat others. You are your own best friend. Develop friendships with like-minded people outside of work.

You must also learn to laugh alone, to be alone, and to feel growth in the dialogue with yourself. Many friends are often very strict with themselves but very lenient with others. Take the initiative! That kind of enthusiasm is always on you, and the strength of giving is returned to you. Don't care too much about other people's comments; you deserve to be noticed.

From a different perspective, the way we treat others is the way we expect to be treated. So, treat yourself a little more kindly.

You don't have to limit yourself to making friends at work. Expand your social circles! Get involved in activities you're interested in and develop some hobbies. This can help you feel less closed off and boost your self-confidence. And shared interests are a great way to build friendships!

That is my answer in its entirety.

Thank you for reading.

I am a listening therapist at Yixinli.

I'm here to listen. Talk to me.

Good morning, my name is Gu Daoxifeng, and I am a heart exploration coach.

While it is beneficial to have a large network of contacts, excessive enthusiasm may lead to suspicion among others. It is important to strike a balance between building relationships and maintaining professionalism.

The questioner might consider whether they would feel uneasy if an unfamiliar colleague suddenly asked them to go out to dinner and shopping. It is important to recognise that people are influenced by others, and that if the colleague is of the opposite sex, there may be additional concerns. For example, what if the colleague wants to pursue a romantic interest?

The workplace is a place where ability is valued. Will the questioner's over-involvement in interpersonal relationships make the other person feel that the questioner is not doing their job? It is important to remember that work comes first and friendship comes second.

It is important to remember that the motivation behind trying to be nice to others may not be about what you want to give, but what the other person wants. Otherwise, even if they accept your gesture, they may feel too much psychological pressure and may even feel annoyed. It is also worth noting that they may not be that familiar with each other, and there is more of a burden of thought.

Human resources administration is perhaps a little more sensitive, as it involves evaluating employees, paying wages, and deciding who to keep and who to let go. If a particular bias is shown, it could cause unease among employees. It is possible that the information would not be well received by the boss.

In addition to the administration's apparent indifference towards the questioner, how are the relationships between the questioner and the other colleagues? Is there a general dislike of getting closer to the questioner, or is there a minority who hold this view?

It is important to remember that we cannot please everyone. It is more realistic to assume that some people will like this approach and some will not.

Consider why you want to maintain a good relationship with everyone. How will investing too much energy in interpersonal relationships affect your work?

Ultimately, companies prioritize results over relationships. Without demonstrated performance, regardless of the quality of the relationship, it is ultimately inconsequential.

As a woman in the workplace, it is advisable to avoid individuals who display excessive enthusiasm, as there is a possibility of misinterpretation. It is essential to consider whether one's actions have caused misunderstandings in others.

Taking the initiative at every opportunity may appear to be a cheap way of doing business and may not be valued. It may also lead capable colleagues to question the questioner's ability to get things done. An alternative approach would be to complete the main task first and then attempt to deepen the relationship once a rapport has been established.

It is only possible to maintain a close connection with people we like. The questioner should consider whether their approach to deepening the connection with the other person is task-oriented or genuinely invested. When the other person senses sincerity, they may have a different attitude.

It is important to develop a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. This will enable you to build a more stable core and become more confident. If you are pleasing, uneasy, and cautious, this may be perceived by others as a weakness and could result in them belittling you.

As Adler observed, difficulties often arise from interpersonal dynamics. By lowering our expectations of others' responses, we can improve our sense of ease. It's important to remember that individuals who like you will do so regardless of your actions, while those who don't like you will remain indifferent regardless of what you do.

I would like to suggest the following reading material: "When You Begin to Love Yourself, the World Will Love You Back," "Between You and Me," and "The Courage to Be Disliked."

Best regards,

What does it mean to "get along" in a professional setting?

As the world gets bigger and I become more aware of what I want, I find that the problems I used to have with people are becoming less and less.

Or, when we have to think about getting along with colleagues, it's often because we have to interact with people we don't like at work. It's not easy to develop an intimate relationship with someone you don't like in your circle of friends.

If this is the case, it'll become clearer what boundaries need to be set and how to reach a consensus on working together, without getting hung up on the fact that you want to change this person.

Once we understand this, the only thing that needs to change is our mindset. We can say, "I don't like him, but no one is asking me to like him." Can we work with someone we don't like?

This is a kind of ability that helps you be more rational and mentally resilient, so you can accept things as they are and focus on the task at hand, rather than getting distracted by someone you don't like.

On top of that, there's another thing to think about: Do I always dislike others after spending time with them and seeing their flaws? If so, you might need to adjust your idea of what it means to like someone.

People who are unable to enter into intimate relationships often lack the ability to tolerate others. When they see other people's shortcomings, they tend to magnify them and dislike them. This can prevent them from forming friendships or romantic relationships.

Getting along with people you don't like at work is a big topic. We move from school to society, from a student mindset to a social mindset, and see a change in mood in different roles.

When I was in school, I was pretty focused on my relationships with teachers and peers. But when I started working, I realized that not every relationship is as simple as "do I like them or not?" We have a lot of different roles that require us to navigate various relationships. Some are professional, some are friendships, some are intimate, and some are none at all.

We've learned a few things about getting along with others from our own life experiences.