After leaving due to workplace bullying, feeling constrained, how should one heal?

Hello!

From what you wrote, it seems like you've experienced some challenges in your workplace. It's great that you're looking to heal and move forward. Let's work together to find solutions.

It sounds like you've moved on from working with them. This is a positive step, and it gives you more freedom to choose.

Their traumatic influence on you persists. It evokes a strong emotional response.

They make you hate them. So, in this world, who makes you love?

Are you open to trying to connect with the people and things you love?

As they say, "If you keep company with scoundrels, you will become like them." If the happy nerve in your brain is touched, it's a very happy thing for others.

Their story has come to an end for now, and you're at the bottom of the valley, ready to rebound and start over. It's not up to them to decide.

Opening up is a crucial step, and you're already doing it.

Next, you can try to accept your occasional tantrum so that you can slowly regain control of your life when anger gets too strong.

People are special creatures who can reflect on themselves and identify their emotions in a calm state.

Get to know the idea of taking the essence and discarding the dross, and put it into practice.

Work is a great chance to devote yourself to something you believe in. The nature and type of work can go beyond what people usually think.

We can learn from our mistakes and grow as individuals.

It seems like you're unable to see any better opportunities on the horizon, and you're afraid of experiencing similar situations again. These are all understandable to psychology enthusiasts.

It can't be any worse. Tomorrow is another day.

Give yourself a chance to embrace the world!

Hello! I'm sending you a big, warm hug from afar. I can feel your inner feelings of grievance, anger, helplessness, and powerlessness, and I'm here to help!

Allowing and accepting yourself in the present moment can be very painful, but it is also an incredible opportunity for growth and transformation! It is a true expression and reaction of the body and mind after being treated unfairly. Then, try to stay with your emotions, experience them, feel them, and be aware of what needs are hidden behind your suffocating emotional feelings.

For example, if you long to be respected, understood, and treated fairly, there's got to be a better way to respond to and satisfy these needs!

For example, say no firmly but gently. When facing similar workplace bullying in the future, try to bravely and sincerely express your true feelings and needs from the heart. This way, your leader will clearly realize that you cannot be treated this way. Just express your feelings and needs without making any comments on their actions. Let them feel respected and understood!

Second, seize the opportunity to actively improve and grow yourself after work! You can gain strong professional skills and delve deeper into other related aspects. This will make you a talented professional who is good at understanding and irreplaceable. You'll become more competitive in the workplace, which means you'll be a more valuable person!

You've already chosen to resign, but the emotional and emotional trauma caused by being bullied by your supervisor is still there. You can see it in time and respond appropriately by telling your former leader about your true emotional feelings when facing bullying. Write a letter to them and sincerely express how you want to be treated. This is also a better way for you to be able to see, express, release, and perceive the emotions and emotions caused by being bullied. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel!

You have the option of mailing the letter or keeping it. Either way, it will help you better sort out your inner emotions and find a better way to respond to your needs!

I really hope that my sharing can give you some support and help!

I feel sorry for you. You want to be comforted, but I think you really want to solve this problem.

The problems you need to solve can be divided into two main areas:

Dealing with bullies at work.

Second, how to embrace a better new life in the workplace.

Bullying at work: how to deal with it

The work is not divided equally.

In the workplace, human factors often cause unequal workloads, which can cause stress.

This causes all conflicts.

The main way to resolve this conflict is through two approaches.

Speak to your boss.

Make reasonable demands. One is to demand equal treatment.

Second, work should be distributed fairly. Those who do more should get paid more.

Facing colleagues

Everyone is equal. Act in your own interest.

Make it clear to everyone. Fair leadership is important.

Make it clear that your workload is linked to your pay. This will show others that if you are treated unfairly, it could happen to them too.

Find people in the same situation as you and talk about the difficulties you encounter. They will empathize with you.

You can stand with them. Once this is done, you will have allies.

You can stop fighting alone.

2. Be fair to others but not to yourself.

Some people at work are ungrateful and always find fault with others' work.

Show how perfect you are.

Deal with them in private. Tell them what's wrong with their work. You can show everyone if they can show you. You want revenge, but you don't.

The goal is to get along with the other person. You don't want to fight with them.

You settle the issue privately. When the other person notices the problem again, they try to communicate with you privately. You tell them that you will correct the minor flaws that are causing inconvenience to them at the appropriate time.

If polite force doesn't work, fight back with the same intensity.

Don't lose face and become disadvantaged. The war has already begun. If you don't advance, you will retreat. It is either him or you.

The key to victory in a "war" is being fast, accurate, and ruthless. Being fast means quickly identifying the other party's problem. Being accurate means hitting the mark with one strike. Being ruthless means being determined to fight the other party to the end.

Expose the conspiracy.

If you think someone has framed you, get evidence and take it to your leader.

If the leader can't do justice, you'll leave. You can publish this evidence publicly.

The main purpose is to show others you are not to be messed with.

You'll be forced to leave.

Some people may feel your actions affect their interests. These people are often company leaders or more senior employees, who will try to get you out.

People will find out you were framed and fight for justice.

Think carefully before you take this step. It's risky, but better than resigning in anger.

Adapt to the workplace.

List the reasons for your failure at your last job.

Then think of a solution for each problem. Be aware of similar problems in the future.

If they do, you can quickly find a solution from what you learned in the last paragraph. This is the advantage of workplace experience.

1. How to get along with colleagues

Mutual benefit is the key to getting along with colleagues.

Make sure the other person knows you're on their side. Avoid confrontation.

In your free time, you can also share food. Go shopping and singing together to get to know each other better.

This will help you work better together.

2. How to get along with your boss

Tell your leader what you can do to help.

This way, he can place you in the right position and use your skills.

If you're unhappy at work, talk to your leader, but don't contradict them in public.

If you work well, your leader will value you more because you can achieve results.

Let him know you recognize him and are willing to work under him. Reward him with tangible work results.

In the workplace, it's simple to say it's simple, but complicated to say it's complicated.

The workplace is simple when it comes to simplicity, but complicated when it comes to complexity.

Some people like to cause trouble because they're jealous and unhappy.

To gain a sense of existence, you have to engage in relationships. They're good at envying others.

They can only show their own excellence by dragging others down. This is the complicated side of the workplace.

People will always have conflicts.

In the workplace, everyone is there to make money. We must grasp the principle of mutual benefit and win-win results.

It's good when everyone's happy. Working together helps us develop and earn more money.

Why not? Everyone likes mutually beneficial and win-win.

I hope you can use this text to summarize your failed workplace experience and draw on it.

Life is full of possibilities. There are no guaranteed winners. You should know that a single failure doesn't matter. I wish you success in the future and good partners.

I wish you success in your career!

Hello questioner!

I am Sunshine, and I am grateful to have met you at Yi Xinli!

I commend the questioner for their self-awareness in bringing up the crucial topic: "After being bullied at work and forced to leave, I feel very suffocated. How can I heal?"

After carefully reading the question, it is clear that the OP encountered conflict with a leader in the workplace, had their performance deducted, chose to endure, was forced to resign due to the difficulty of dealing with the leader's power and influence, and experienced physical and mental distress/psychological suffocation and chest pain. I empathize with the OP's grievance, helplessness, powerlessness, hopelessness, and confusion. I believe the OP has also experienced much suffering internally and has chosen to come here for help. I commend the OP for their awakening and bravery!

Thank yourself for your "self-help actions." This will bring more possibilities for the "relieving/healing" you want. I have also thought about this topic and I am going to share my reflections and thoughts. I am sure they will be of help to you!

Let's get to the heart of the matter.

We must first address the specific issues the questioner has outlined in seeking assistance. It is essential to interpret and analyze these issues in order to provide effective guidance.

I contradicted my direct supervisor, and she deducted my performance every month for trivial matters. The big boss didn't want to offend anyone or advocate justice, so she smeared me in front of the new leader. The new leader found all kinds of loopholes in your work and magnified every little mistake, making a fuss about it. Hundreds of points were deducted from every performance. I felt that I couldn't win, and I also felt that being an older single person was not good for finding a job, so I kept choosing to endure it. I even resigned in anger after being squeezed. During the handover period, he still wouldn't let it go. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was bullied in various despicable ways for a long time, and even though I resigned, I still feel suffocated. I want to beat them up to vent my anger, but what can I do? You can't really go over there and beat them up. I've been feeling chest pain recently. I guess it's because I'm in a bad mood after resigning and thinking about what they did to me in the past. I'm also very suffocated. How can I console myself?

[1] Workplace bullying is not uncommon. The questioner's description reveals a workplace environment that is not harmonious and even unfair. The questioner's resignation is a direct result of this environment. This is an unfair workplace.

[2] When faced with deliberate "nitpicking" and performance deductions, and considering that I chose to "bear with it" because I am an older single person, I was still squeezed. When I could no longer bear it, I proposed to resign. Now I am worried that my salary will be deducted for some reason. With the previous experience of performance deductions, it is only natural to worry. We'll wait and see. Conventionally speaking, wages are protected by law, so I dare not deduct them arbitrarily.

[3] The questioner must not allow themselves to be pushed around by the strong when they are up against the weak. They were unable to express themselves in time, and their emotional problems were caused by the "repressed anger" brought on by their forbearance, which even triggered the thought of wanting to "vent with violence."

The questioner demonstrated sound judgment by not acting on impulse, which proves they can manage their emotions at critical moments.

[4] The questioner's "resignation/depression/grievance/physical and mental reactions" have been triggered due to conflicts in the real workplace. This may be related to the way the questioner has "learned" to deal with and express emotions. Fortunately, the questioner can now clearly perceive changes in his body and mind. This is a reminder that the questioner needs to pay extra attention to his "emotions and physical and mental changes." This is where the questioner needs to focus his efforts now and in the future.

[5] Emotions are related to the harmony and unity of body and mind. They are also a "barometer" of the state of body and mind. The key to mastering life for a mature person is to first learn to manage our emotions. Then, we must respond to problems encountered in reality in an appropriate and effective way. Finally, we must solve problems in an appropriate way.

The questioner's request for help boils down to this: "After being bullied at work and leaving, I feel suffocated. What should I do to heal?" This shows that the questioner has given it careful thought and accurately summarized it. In other words, managing your emotions is the core. Only by managing your emotions can you hope to manage your life well. Here's how you can deal with it:

[1] Accept all past experiences and occurrences, and gain a deep understanding of the ins and outs. I firmly believe that in such a workplace atmosphere, the choices and decisions made by the questioner are wise, and I applaud the questioner!

It is essential to understand the underlying truth behind one's emotions of injustice, depression, and anger. We have developed ways of dealing with emotions, which ultimately influence our true expression and reaction to the interaction between body and mind.

[2] As the questioner said, when faced with injustice, it is natural that you cannot fight back. You can express your "grief/depression/anger" in another way. For example, you can talk to someone, just like the questioner who came to the psychological platform for help and could write and shout out, or punch a pillow... You can show it through sports and fitness... etc. You can also find a professional psychological teacher/doctor to rule out chest pain and provide necessary help, to help the questioner express the "depressive emotions" that have built up. In short, first let your emotions reach a stable and relaxed state.

[3] When your emotional and physical symptoms have subsided, you can and should face the unfair treatment you have encountered in the workplace. You can find out about the relevant rules and regulations of your workplace, consult a professional lawyer, collect relevant legal evidence, properly resolve your concerns, and get a satisfactory solution.

[4] When facing the future of life, sort out your thoughts, always remain self-aware, discover your own physical and mental shortcomings through this work experience, and try to learn and grow throughout your life. You will find these books helpful: "Let the Past Go with the Wind," "Why Are My Emotions Always Controlled by Others?" and "It's Only Perfect in Imperfection."

The above is a response that combines the questioner's question. It is my personal opinion, and I stand by it. I hope it will spark discussion and lead to more thinking. I also hope it will inspire and help the questioner. I welcome more in-depth exchanges. I pray that the questioner will soon "see the light at the end of the tunnel" and see "the truth," so that they can easily and happily grow into a good professional after an unpleasant workplace experience!

I am certain that the questioner will have a bright future!

I am here to tell you that you can do it!

I am sunshine, the world, and I love you! ?

Hello, dear question asker!

Sending you a big, warm hug from across the screen!

I'm here to help you through this! Being bullied at work is so frustrating, and I'm happy to help you sort it out and heal yourself.

1. Learn to calm yourself down and be your own biggest cheerleader!

As an employee, you might feel like you're at a bit of a disadvantage in the workplace.

The leader might find fault with us, deduct money, squeeze us, or be unfair.

If we encounter a mean-spirited and unjust leader, it might be best to move on.

But now, those hurt feelings are still affecting me.

How are you feeling about that?

It means learning to give yourself a little TLC!

It can be really helpful to try writing therapy when you're feeling down. It's a great way to express all those hurt and resentful feelings that have built up inside you.

Once you've shared your feelings, you can let your emotions flow freely and find a way to release them.

You can also try imagery therapy, which is a great way to let go of those troubles and hurts. Just imagine that they're carried away by the wind and blown far away. You'll be free of those unhappy events in no time!

In the past, the various despicable tactics used by leaders have been exposed, and they have successfully distanced themselves from them, so they will never be hurt by them again, etc.

2. You can try to grow yourself!

Sometimes, we don't get to choose the kind of leaders and people we meet in the workplace.

But you have the power to decide how you want to deal with it.

It's totally normal to feel like that! We've all been there. Sometimes, we're in a bad mood after quitting our job and thinking about what they did to us in the past. It's like our chest is tight and we feel suffocated.

We can choose not to be hurt by them.

It's not the event itself that affects us, but how we perceive it.

You have a great sense of awareness and reflection on pain, and you want to comfort yourself. These are all wonderful resources!

Once you've taken a deep breath and sorted things out, you'll be able to see why you feel so hurt and how to get over it better.

It's okay if you encounter a bad person.

It's so important to learn how to protect ourselves when dealing with people like this.

So, when you find yourself in a similar situation in the future, how can you stay calm, keep a good record of what happened, and stand up for what you believe in?

How can we avoid letting the arrows they shoot at us hurt us?

It's so important to arm ourselves with the knowledge that we are worthy of love and respect. Even when others try to bring us down, we can still see their limitations.

And it's so important to be able to tell the difference between our own issues and those of other people.

Let's dive into how to deal with such a leader, shall we?

I'd love to share a little saying with you:

It's so important to remember that getting angry is punishing yourself for other people's mistakes.

We're not asking you to forgive each other, but we are asking you to see their limitations and do what makes you feel better.

We're not asking you to forgive each other, but we are asking you to see their limitations and do what makes you feel better.

It's so important to recognize your emotions and give them a little TLC. We all have a wounded child inside of us, so it's essential to comfort that little one and try not to let this incident affect your body again.

It's so important to identify your emotions and soothe yourself. It's also really helpful to try to soothe the wounded child inside and not let this incident affect your body.

Take some time to recover, okay?

You can also try to take your mind off things by focusing on the things you like. This should help you feel better.

Please, just share these.

If you're interested, I'd highly recommend watching the workplace drama "Misaeng." It's a great way to see how difficult the workplace can be and also understand the impact of beliefs on us.

Wishing you all the best!