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Always immersed in your inner world and neglecting the outside world. Do you need to make adjustments?

junior high school fantasy internalization comfort self-examination
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Always immersed in your inner world and neglecting the outside world. Do you need to make adjustments? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

It seems to have started in junior high school. At that time, I always wanted an older sister who could chat and play with me, so that I would not be lonely. So at first I fantasized about having an older sister. Before going to bed, she would often ask me, "How was your day?

Are you unhappy?" I also tell her about my worries, but at the time it seemed like I only talked to her when I went to bed.

Then there are the constant comments from others that I seem to be daydreaming or frozen all the time, which I have actually noticed myself. It seems that I really don't care much about what's going on in the outside world. Now I don't just have one character in my inner world, but two or three. But they are all internalized from the good experiences I have had in real life.

For example, if someone in real life says to me when I'm sad, "You're sad, aren't you? Let me give you a hug. It's okay," (very gently and slowly), I might deliberately recall this experience over and over again, and then remember it (the tone and voice).

When I have this need for comfort, I recall that sentence, and in reality I lie on the quilt or hug the quilt, but imagine that I am lying on her shoulders and then say this thing that I encountered in reality in her voice and tone of voice. (Play this voice in your head, either hearing voices or imagining her talking.) For example, "Today you really wanted to do this thing well, but you didn't, and you're a little sad and a little self-blame, aren't you?

Here, I'll give you a hug. Then I'm actually lying on the bedclothes, but it's just as comforting as if I was lying on her shoulder. I feel understood and a little aggrieved, and then I might hug the bedclothes even tighter (as if I were hugging her even tighter), and I feel really good.

Sometimes I may not have encountered any setbacks in reality, but when I feel like I need to do this, I will imagine it like this.

Sometimes when I'm walking along in life, I like to reminisce about what people have said. Then I'll find myself walking past an intersection when I was going to turn the other way, and when I come to my senses, I've already gone past it. And I don't even know how I managed to do it, I just completely ignored the outside world.

It's also the case when I'm in the car with my family and they're talking about things that don't interest me, and I might unconsciously start talking to the people inside my head again.

Apart from the fact that I like to talk to myself, I also pay too much attention to myself, always examining why I am the way I am and why I do the things I do, and I don't care about what's going on in the outside world. I like to study myself, for example, trying to figure out why I feel a strong sense of liking and admiring someone when I first meet them, or when I'm depressed and sad, I observe that my emotions will calm down after I talk to myself to comfort myself, or I observe that when I fantasize about becoming the character I want to be, I feel very energetic and want to walk around and imagine it over and over again.

In fact, it has improved a lot after work. Most of the time, when I'm busy or stressed, I'm still in control. When I'm with friends I can let go and not be so immersed in my inner world.

However, if it is some boring work, or some work in between, it is a casual thing to enter the inner world.

Liam Christopher Hughes Liam Christopher Hughes A total of 178 people have been helped

Hello. I can sense your confusion from your words. First of all, I want to give you a hug and hope that my answer will be helpful to you.

First of all, we'd like to thank you for trusting us enough to share such intimate feelings. We understand that everyone has their own inner world, and we believe that the kind of inner dialogue and role-playing you describe is actually a very natural way to process emotions and experiences.

It can help us to understand and digest real-life events and to seek comfort and support. The methods you mention, such as remembering kind words from others and recalling them when needed, could be seen as a form of self-soothing, a mechanism that humans have evolved to cope with difficulties and challenges.

It is not uncommon to find that focusing on the inner world can help us to escape from stress and feel more comfortable and secure. This is simply a way for you to find balance and comfort in your inner dialogue.

It might be helpful to consider that the behaviors you mentioned, such as building a support system within, can potentially contribute to maintaining a positive emotional state when facing challenges in life.

However, if you find that you are regularly disconnecting from reality, or if this behavior starts to affect your daily life and work, it might be helpful to consider whether you need to adjust this habit. For example, if you find that you are missing important information or making mistakes because you are distracted, it could be beneficial to find a way to balance your attention between the real world and your inner world.

In light of these descriptions from the questioner, we can explore a few modest suggestions together, with the hope of being of some assistance to you.

You might consider setting aside a dedicated time to focus on the inner world, just as you would schedule any other activity. During this time, you could allow yourself to think, reminisce, and fantasize freely.

This may help you to focus more on the real world at other times.

It can be helpful to be aware of the difference between reality and fantasy. When you notice that you are daydreaming, you might try gently reminding yourself to return to the present situation.

You might find it helpful to set an alarm, take notes, or simply use a self-reminder.

You might find it helpful to try mindfulness meditation. This is a method of training attention and awareness that can help you to gain better control over your thoughts and become more present.

You might find it helpful to spend a few minutes each day focusing on your breathing or body sensations and keeping your thoughts in the present, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

It might also be helpful to keep a record. You might like to try keeping a diary when you have important thoughts or feelings.

This may assist you in organizing your thoughts and reviewing them when needed.

It might be helpful to consider that, although you mentioned communicating with inner characters, real-life social interactions are also important. It could be beneficial to ensure you have enough social activities, which may help to reduce your reliance on the inner world.

It might be helpful to accept that you have this habit and that it is normal. It's also important to remember not to be too hard on yourself, as everyone has their own way of coping.

You might find it helpful to explore new interests and hobbies. Engaging in new activities or learning new skills can help distract you and increase your connection to the outside world.

If you feel that this pattern of behavior is beginning to interfere with your life, or if you would like more strategies to manage it, you might consider seeking help from a counselor.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with emotions and stress, and there is no need to worry as long as this behavior does not interfere with your daily life. However, if it becomes a problem, it may be helpful to consider ways to balance your inner and real worlds.

Take a moment to relax, connect with your heart, and then consider whether any adjustments might be beneficial. Offer yourself a gentle embrace once more.

I hope my answer is helpful. I wish you well in all your endeavors.

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Zara Zara A total of 6622 people have been helped

Thank you for sharing your inner world and experiences. Many people have a rich inner life, but it can be expressed in different ways.

It depends on how you see things and how it affects your life.

Look at your inner world in a positive way. It can help you understand yourself, deal with emotions, and be creative.

Many people use visualization and inner dialogue to cope with problems, find solutions, or gain comfort.

If you become too focused on your inner world, you may need to make some adjustments. This doesn't mean you have to give up your inner world, but you should find a balance that allows you to enjoy your inner world while also dealing with real life.

Practical advice:

Set aside time for inner dialogue and imagination.

Do more things outside. Sports, socializing, and traveling help you focus on the outside world.

Meditation and mindfulness can help you be more aware of your surroundings.

Seek support if you're struggling. A counselor or psychotherapist can offer advice and support.

Your inner and outer worlds are important. Find a balance so you can enjoy your inner world and deal with real life.

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Comments

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Hector Miller Forgiveness is a way to make our lives a journey of love and forgiveness.

I can totally relate to feeling like you need an older sister or someone to connect with on a deeper level. It's comforting to imagine having that kind of support, especially when you're younger and feeling lonely. Sometimes I create these imaginary conversations too, just to feel less alone.

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Cherry Jackson To forgive is to see the value in every human being, despite their mistakes.

It sounds like your inner world has become quite vivid and populated by characters from positive experiences. That's a beautiful way to cope and cherish moments. I also tend to retreat into my thoughts when the outside world feels overwhelming or uninteresting. It's almost like creating a sanctuary where you can always find peace and understanding.

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Evelynne Miller Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go.

The way you replay comforting interactions in your mind is really touching. It's as if you've developed a unique selfsoothing mechanism that helps you process emotions and situations. I sometimes do the same; even without real setbacks, imagining support can be incredibly soothing. It's interesting how our minds work to protect us and bring comfort in our own ways.

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