Am I destined to meet people like myself?

Perhaps the questioner could benefit from some additional clarity on these two questions.

Many women and men find themselves grappling with these two questions.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether it is true that you will meet the kind of person you are. This can be understood from the perspective of life scripts.

It is thought that before the age of one, when we cannot yet speak, we form our draft scripts, such as attachment scripts, under the influence of our parents. According to Berne, the founder of the life script theory, children often find the prototype of their own script in a story, such as a myth or a fairy tale, between the ages of three and six.

It could be said that as we begin to speak and listen to stories, we may find or imagine a story to write our life script.

If a girl has a Beauty and the Beast script, she may find a boyfriend or husband who is like a beast and hurts her, while she herself keeps hoping that this beast will turn into a prince. Similarly, if a boy has the script of the frog prince, he may find a girl who will mistreat him (such as emotional abuse and abandonment), and then he can become a prince.

If a girl's script is that of Snow White, it is possible that she may remain sexually frigid until the arrival of a prince willing to kiss a woman lying in a coffin.

If a girl has the Cinderella script, she may find herself playing the victim. However, if she has the winner script, she may eventually win and move on from that role. If she has the loser script, she may spend her whole life fantasizing about meeting a prince to rescue her, but the prince may not be able to catch up to her.

It could be said that the phrase "you will meet people of a similar ilk" implies that you will attract a partner who shares similar characteristics and traits, depending on your life script and the role you play in it.

In a general sense, one might also categorize script roles into three main groups: victims, saviors, and persecutors.

It seems that individuals who feel like victims internally (what some might call a "victim complex") may attract those who are inclined to rescue or persecute. Similarly, someone who appears to be a rescuer but is actually a victim internally may attract someone who appears to be a victim but is actually a persecutor.

And the same could be said of the reverse situation.

It is also worth considering that there may be a number of reasons why a high-quality woman often falls in love with a less admirable partner.

It is possible that this woman is high-quality because she has been successful in some way, perhaps in her studies or career. This could mean that she has an omnipotent narcissistic fantasy of being "capable of anything." It is also possible that she is falling in love with a scum because she is driven by a motive of conquest. She may believe that if she can conquer this scum, it will make her even better.

It is also possible that there may be a motivation to save, such as the desire to turn this man into a good man. This could be seen as a Beauty and the Beast script.

It is also possible that some women who appear to be attractive on the outside may actually have a lot of self-doubt inside. In such cases, when they meet a man who sweet-talks them, they may fall in love with him regardless of whether he is a scumbag or not, as long as they feel loved. This could be an example of the Grey Aunt script.

It is also possible that quality women have previously focused all their energy on how to make themselves better, have relatively little emotional experience, and are more gullible.

It is also possible that there are other factors at play, and that these possibilities may have an impact simultaneously.

One of the more challenging aspects of identifying a script is determining whether it recurs. If this high-quality woman consistently engages with individuals who may not align with her standards, it could be an indication that her script is influencing her behavior. In other words, it could be a form of "compulsive repetition."

It is worth noting that life script theory represents one of the core concepts of interpersonal communication analysis. The story of "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist" was also informed by this analytical approach.

It might be helpful to define a life script as "a plan for life made in childhood, reinforced by parents, proven by life experience, and brought to a conclusion by choice," as Berne suggests.