Am I not suitable for psychological counseling if I'm unwilling to share my innermost thoughts with the counselor?

I believe you may benefit from seeking the guidance of a psychologist.

I wonder if it might have something to do with the way you usually treat people and the fact that you don't easily reveal your innermost feelings. This is perfectly normal. Some people just don't like to talk about themselves and show their true emotions to others.

Given that this is not a typical experience for you, it might be challenging to fully disconnect when a professional is present.

I believe the counselor is objective and rational. Perhaps his approach could be to help you clear your mind, guide your emotions, and discover your hidden dissatisfaction.

Perhaps if he had been able to demonstrate more clearly from the outset that he was actively helping you, you would have felt more at ease with him.

Perhaps you didn't feel comfortable sharing your hidden worries with the counselor. It's possible that you treated her more like a friend you usually chat with about happy things, rather than seeking professional guidance.

If I might offer you some advice, it would be this:

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider your own situation.

It might be helpful for you to seek the support of a psychological professional.

It would be wise to ascertain whether the psychologist has a proven track record of successfully treating clients with similar issues, and to determine his communication style. It is also advisable to arrange an initial meeting in person to assess whether there is a good rapport and to ensure that you are comfortable with him before committing to treatment.

Hello. From your description, it's clear you have some doubts and hope to get answers. Before we discuss this issue, I'd like to give you a big hug to show you I support you.

You say that you "don't want to tell your counselor your secrets" and that "every time we don't want to talk, it feels like we're only talking about happy things. I never say anything about sad things." You also say that in counseling you always "wait for the counselor to ask questions, and don't want to speak up on my own. I also suspect that you "don't think you're suitable for counseling."

You showed great courage in entering into this consultation. Not everyone can do that, so I commend you for your courage! By reflecting deeply on your feelings in the consultation, you have also gained insight into your feelings and doubts about these feelings. This is your insight in the consultation. Without the context of psychological counseling, this insight might not have been so emotional.

You mentioned some of your feelings and practices in the counseling. The best solution is to discuss this doubt in depth with your counselor. As the old saying goes, "He who unlinks the bell must also link it again." See what your counselor will say in response to this question, and at the same time, see what more insights you will gain from this discussion.

This is just my personal opinion, for reference only. Take care of yourself.

Good day, questioner. I perceive your confusion, and I offer you my support.

You are disinclined to inform the counselor of your disquiet; it may be attributable to the configuration of the counseling room.

On occasion, the ambience of the consulting room may prove to be a source of unease for the patient. This may be attributed to the presence of specific items within the room.

It is challenging to articulate one's thoughts and feelings in an environment that is perceived as uncomfortable.

It is also possible that the client does not feel secure with the current counselor.

This may be attributed to the counselor's theoretical orientation.

In the course of my counseling, I have had the opportunity to interact with two distinct types of counselors.

Over four years ago, I attended a counseling session at a counseling center in Shanghai that was not affiliated with this platform. The counselor adhered to the tenets of cognitive behavioral therapy.

Furthermore, the counselor required that I adhere to a specific sequence for addressing the six areas of concern, which I found highly disconcerting.

Furthermore, during one of the interviews, she posed a question that infringed upon my privacy. As a result, the subsequent consultation with her became somewhat challenging.

Subsequently, approximately two years ago, I commenced treatment with a professional counselor on this platform. This counselor is a psychoanalytic dynamist, capable of identifying the fundamental issues underlying my difficulties.

As a result, I am at ease with her and am willing to divulge certain distressing matters.

It is recommended that you consult with a different counselor to address your current issue. This could be a counselor from a different school of thought.

An alternative option would be to seek the advice of a counselor of the same genre but a different gender.

It is my conviction that when an individual discovers a counselor with whom they have a compatible rapport, their current difficulties will be resolved.

It is my sincere hope that the problem you are currently experiencing can be resolved in the near future.

These are the only suggestions that I am currently able to offer.

It is my sincere hope that my above response is both helpful and inspiring to you. As the respondent, I endeavor to study assiduously on a daily basis.

On behalf of Yixinli, I extend my warmest regards to you and wish you the best.

Good morning, I am writing in response to your question.

From your description, it appears that you are experiencing resistance. It is also possible that you are projecting your patterns of intimate relationships onto the counselor. The fact that we are aware of this indicates that we are attempting to explore this aspect of ourselves. The counselor is a neutral party. If you consistently demonstrate reluctance to speak up, it may be beneficial to consider the following:

What are the potential consequences of discussing this matter? What are my concerns?

Is there a concern that the relationship will be adversely affected by this disclosure? Let's consider the underlying reasons for this apprehension.

It is important to determine whether the fear is real. Everyone has the ability to heal themselves. We choose to trust our counselor and ourselves.

Why am I hesitant to discuss my most personal thoughts and feelings with the counselor? And when I do speak up, it often feels like we're simply discussing positive topics, with no mention of the challenges I'm facing.

As a result, you are reluctant to initiate the conversation and instead wait for the counselor to prompt you. This leads to a lack of disclosure of issues that are causing you distress. Consequently, you question your suitability for counseling. You tend to be reticent and avoid initiating the discussion.

What is the most challenging aspect of counseling? Is it a past experience with a counselor that caused distress?

You may also wish to discuss this matter with your counselor. They will be able to help you understand the reasons behind your reluctance.

Please describe the aspects of the counselor's approach that create a sense of distance for you. Discuss with the counselor whether these aspects can be adjusted to better suit your needs. Additionally, it is important to consider whether the counseling approach aligns with your expectations and preferences.

If your current counselor is not an appropriate fit, we can make a referral at your request.

Not wanting to talk is also a defense mechanism. We are afraid of conflict and exposure. Exposure means insecurity and that I am no longer the perfect self. There are times when we want to remain in a perfect persona and live in a self-limiting state.

There is a desire to break free from the situation, but there is also a reluctance to try. There is a lack of belief in one's own ability to improve and in the potential for external redemption.

What are the implications of this disbelief? Could it be indicative of a residual influence from the original family dynamic?

I believe it would be beneficial to consider the potential consequences of this decision. Would the outcome truly be as unfavorable as we anticipate?

Have confidence in your abilities. The situation may not be as challenging as you perceive.

I am currently behind schedule. I am awaiting further instructions from the Psychology, World, and I Love You departments.

Dear, I'm so happy to tell you that your situation is totally normal and nothing to worry about!

1. We may not know the counselor yet, but we're excited to get to know them! It's natural to want to establish a connection and build trust at the beginning. Visiting a counselor takes courage, but it's also an amazing opportunity to grow and learn.

This is all part of my journey to understand myself better. I went to counseling to gain a deeper understanding of myself.

2. You are observing the counselor. Before you don't want to talk about your heart with the counselor, you are actually unsure whether TA will judge you. But you know that you can trust them!

3. You hope that the counselor will ask, which is totally possible! You just need to figure out how to express yourself. If the other person asks questions, then you can gather some ideas for expression. But if the other person doesn't ask questions, then expression seems to become like boiling dumplings in a teapot: you know what to say, but you can't get it out. But that's OK! You'll get there.

4. Going to counseling is actually a driving force—I am willing to change, and I'm excited to see what new possibilities await me! While change is not a comfortable process, I'm ready to face it head-on. Even if we have the will, habits and defenses will ensure that we stay on our old trajectory, but I'm ready to break free from them!

5. Getting to know yourself is an amazing, in-depth process. Your expression is a fantastic point of self-awareness: I don't want to talk about my heart. I only want to talk about my heart. I wait for the counselor to ask, but I still don't want to say it.

To be precise, I've noticed that I'm currently in a place where I'm not ready to talk about my heart.

I am so excited to chat about my heart! I'm really looking forward to the counselor asking, but I'm still not ready to say it.

6. Decide you want to change! A big part of counseling is awareness. If the above expression matches you, then: the solution is clear! I can trust this teacher. I just need to establish trust in those few points. Do I want to change? Absolutely!

Then I get to try a little bit to be in a different state than before! What can I do?

7. Communicate sincerely and have patience with yourself. Trust the counselor and trust yourself. You can do this!

P.S. The great thing is, if the counselor and the client don't match, the counselor can be changed!

Hello there!

"If I don't want to tell my counselor my heart's desires, does that mean I'm not suitable for counseling?"

At first glance, I read your title as if you were not suitable for a counselor, and I totally got the wrong idea! I opened the content and read it again, only to realize that it was only about whether you were suitable for counseling.

First of all, I just want to give you a big hug and thank you so much for being willing to come to the Yi Xinli platform to talk about your thoughts. I'm so grateful for your trust.

I'd also love to know why you were willing to come to a psychological counseling center to talk about your worries. I'm really interested to hear your thoughts on that!

I'd love to know what made you willing to talk about it!

Let's work through this together based on your description:

I'd love to know why you didn't want to tell your counselor your heart's desires and why you didn't want to speak up every time.

I'd love to know what made you decide to seek counseling and how you found a counselor.

I'm so happy you're here! I'd love to know more about your experience with your current counselor. Did you choose him or her yourself, or was he or she chosen for you? If you chose him or her yourself, I'd love to know why.

If you don't want to talk every time, why do you go every time? What do you want to achieve through counseling or by going to a counselor?

It's so important to remember that the motivation for counseling and the choice of counselor will affect whether we, as clients, are willing to open up and talk about our concerns.

♦️ "It feels like we're always talking about happy things, and I never say a word about sad things. I'm always waiting for the counselor to ask, and I don't want to say it myself, and I don't want to talk about the things that make me unhappy."

I'm not sure how many times you've been to counseling, but I'm here for you if you want to talk about happy things! Why do you still go if you don't want to talk about it? I'd love to know what is driving you!

I'd love to know how you feel about your counselor. How does it feel to be in counseling and spend time with them?

It's totally normal to be reluctant to talk about what's making you unhappy, especially when you're feeling insecure and distrusting. I get it! It's a tough thing to do, but you've got this! Don't make things harder for yourself or force yourself to do something you're not ready for. Give yourself enough space and time, and trust that you'll naturally talk about it when the time comes.

It's totally normal to want to solve or figure out what's making you unhappy. We live in a problem-solving society, after all! But remember, slow is sometimes fast, so don't rush. You've got this!

I'm sending you a big hug from afar, and I hope you can find some comfort.

♦️ "Am I not suitable for counseling? Every time it's the kind of person who doesn't want to say a word."

It's totally okay if you don't want to talk. That doesn't mean you're not suitable for counseling. Sleeping during counseling is totally normal. You just don't want to talk. Have you tried counseling in other ways? Things like drawing, sandplay, focusing, movement, writing, etc. could be really helpful.

It's so important to remember that counseling is about more than just talking. Your behavior, feelings, body language, and interactions with the counselor all reveal your inner state. And silence can also have a lot of meaning in counseling.

Sometimes you may not want to talk about something, perhaps because you are not really ready to do so. In that case, there is absolutely no need to force yourself! If the consultation does not have a significant impact on your life and work, you can also suspend it and go back to it when you really want to consult on your own.

It's also important to consider how well you and your counselor click. If you don't feel comfortable opening up, it might be time to find someone else who's a better fit.

In short, you can talk about anything that's on your mind during counseling. It's a safe space to share your thoughts and feelings, and your counselor is there to listen. These conversations are important and can help you work through things.

I hope I've been able to make things clear for you! Here's a quick summary:

1. It's totally normal to not want to talk in counseling.

2. Take a good look at what's driving you to seek counseling. Don't push yourself if you're not ready. Give yourself the time and space you need. And if you feel like switching up your approach or counselor, go for it!

3. Find a counselor who's a good fit for you!

I hope you're doing well! ?

Hi, I'm Happy Niu, your friendly neighborhood psychological counselor!

I want to give you a hug! First, though, I want to praise your self-awareness. You know very well in your heart that you have a problem in the counseling process. But just because there is a problem does not mean that you are not suitable for psychological counseling. It is just that there is resistance and silence in the process. Let's take a minute to discuss why these phenomena.

1. Psychological counseling is an amazing process of "treating illness." To treat an illness, you have to get to the root of the problem. This process is not always a beautiful or pleasant one, but it is always worth it in the end!

Why are you only willing to talk about happy things? Because that is inherently a happy thing! You are willing to reminisce, and someone is there to listen to you and be with you. You feel that the counselor's listening brings you positive effects, such as being understood, accepted, and seen, as well as being accompanied in the present moment. These positive aspects give you strength and comfort, so you are willing to talk!

However, to "cure" a disease, you need to find the root cause. This process is not always a beautiful and pleasant one. It requires us to recall painful memories and moments, and to find out the reasons for their formation. When we encounter wounds, our instinctive reaction is to remain silent and avoid them. This results in silence and resistance. But there is a way out of this!

2. You're holding back because you're still dealing with some negative emotions.

Your willingness to go for counseling shows that you are ready and willing to make changes. Your counselor is not there to coddle you like a child. He can look at your problems with an objective and neutral attitude, accept and understand you, and help you work through anything you're struggling with. We'll sort out the truth together, which might involve facing, avoiding, or evading certain issues, but it'll be worth it in the end!

The emotions caused by this kind of avoidance and escape have not yet been digested, absorbed, and viewed in a positive light. They may be painful and shameful, in short, things you don't want to look at. But you can! As long as your emotions are not dealt with, you will always remain silent on this point. But you can change that!

3. Let's dive into why resistance occurs!

Resistance is a totally normal part of the counseling process. It's a way for clients to protect themselves. When we refuse to expose and change ourselves during counseling, we're avoiding anxiety and denying painful experiences. So, if you're not ready to talk, that's okay! It's a common phenomenon in the counseling process and a sign that you're not mentally prepared yet. It's not that you're not suitable for psychological counseling.

4. Let's make some positive changes together!

a. Have faith in your counselor! They're there to support you through the process of personal growth. They'll help you face the challenges head-on and guide you along the way. They understand your pain and won't rush you through it. A good counselor will gently and confidently lead you to change.

b. Get ready to learn how to relax, face problems, and manage your emotions correctly during counseling!

A good counselor is someone who can give you a sense of security and help you feel relaxed. They can help you relax, face problems correctly, and manage your emotions.

c. Believe in yourself and let go of your illusions!

Your counselor is not a god, so don't imagine that he can relieve you of your psychological problems without pain. Instead, with the counselor's help, you can believe that you can grow, rationally view your problems, and gradually improve yourself!

d. The great news is that you don't have to be anxious or impatient, as psychological counseling is a long-term process.

No matter which school of psychological counseling you follow, it is a relatively long-term process. So don't be anxious or impatient! As long as you follow the plan formulated by the counselor according to the counseling goals, there will definitely be a process of significant change.

You've taken the first step by walking through the door of a counselor, so don't be too quick to deny yourself! Believe in yourself. From a humanistic perspective, the body has its own wisdom. The counselor is there to support you and help you along the way. You are the one who will truly help you solve your problems. Come on!

Hello, host! I'm July.

After reading your description, I have a good idea of the questions you want to ask. I'd like to give you a hug in the four-dimensional space.

From what you've said, I can see that you're going through a rough patch, but I'm confident we can work through it together.

The issue you raised in your description may be that you're hesitant to share your deepest concerns with your counselor because you haven't yet built a strong enough rapport. At the outset of counseling or throughout the course of treatment, the counselor and client gradually establish a trusting relationship. Perhaps at the beginning, you didn't feel you could trust the counselor enough.

So, there are things you're reluctant to tell the counselor because you don't trust them, or maybe you don't have the courage to face some traumatic events. You'll hesitate and wonder whether you should tell the counselor about these things.

It's totally normal to feel this way. You're not sure if the counselor is trustworthy, so you want to take it slow. It might also be related to your personality. You may prefer to have others ask questions and for you to answer, rather than taking the initiative to express your own problems. These possibilities will have an impact on your psychological counseling.

At the start of the meeting, the counselor will use some positive topics to get to know you both and build a better relationship. But the counselor should also be able to see what the real problem is. So, chatting about happy things all the time won't help.

So, right now, it's important to see how skilled the counselor is and whether they can really understand what you want to work on.

But, to sum up, when you feel like you've built a solid rapport with your counselor, you can take the initiative and bring up any issues you want to work on. Counselors aren't mind readers, so you can be proactive and address whatever you're struggling with. This is a great advantage.

I love you, and I think the world should know it!

Just wanted to say hi and wish you a great day!