An 18-year-old girl, has a poor relationship with her family, why does her mother always drink?

Dear child, From your description, it is evident that you are facing significant challenges. It is important to recognize that no mother is perfect, and it is not uncommon for children to experience difficulties in their relationships with their mothers.

However, alcoholism of the kind observed in your mother is relatively uncommon. Consequently, you will encounter greater difficulties in addressing these issues than others might.

Social workers, elders, and doctors have criticized you for failing to provide adequate care for your mother. It is my assessment that they believe you are the primary caregiver in this family and therefore responsible for managing the household.

It is commendable that you have taken the initiative to encourage your mother to seek medical attention. Your actions demonstrate maturity and responsibility. Ultimately, it is her decision whether or not to comply with the advice of a medical professional.

It is particularly challenging for a child when their mother engages in behaviors that are perceived as decadent, given the expectation that a mother should serve as a protective figure. Nevertheless, you are now 18 years of age.

You are already an adult, and I believe you are capable of taking care of yourself.

You are reluctant to allow your mother to leave when she indicates her desire to do so. It is evident that you hold a profound affection for your mother and exemplify the qualities of a dutiful child. Indeed, it may be beneficial to allow for a period of separation at this juncture.

It is important to note that the individual in question is still relatively young and therefore requires the opportunity to mature and develop independently. Once they have reached an age and level of maturity where they are capable of providing adequate care for their mother, the issue will no longer be a source of concern. Furthermore, when the individual possesses the necessary strength and financial resources, they can compel their father to seek medical attention.

One potential solution is to hire someone to provide care for him. Therefore, the difficulties are temporary, so the first step is to focus on improving your own well-being.

At this juncture, it is prudent to prioritize one's own well-being. It is not the responsibility of a child to assume the role of caregiver for a parent. A mother has her own familial and social support system. It is imperative for you to learn to let go of the burden you are carrying and to prioritize your own health and wellbeing.

It is imperative that you cultivate resilience and fortitude.

Good morning, dear child.

My name is Yi Ming, and I'm a heart exploration coach.

I empathize with your situation and would be delighted to converse with you further.

1. Perhaps it would be helpful to stop forcing change, as this may make it more likely to happen.

I can appreciate your desire for your mother to stop drinking.

"Due to past experiences, my mother has unfortunately broken many glasses when she was under the influence and has made a few mistakes along the way. When I was younger, I was left with some challenges because of my mother's actions."

You love your mother very much, and you feel that her actions are misguided, yet you feel powerless to correct them.

It's not uncommon for us to hold onto our own wishes, hoping that our mothers will change.

It is not uncommon for children to resist their parents' advice, even when it is given with the best of intentions.

Unfortunately, the result is not as effective as we would like.

I'd like to share with you that change has its own rules.

Sometimes, things are not always as we expect.

Perhaps we could consider that, just like you, yelling at your mother, "I told you not to drink!" might not be the most effective approach. What do you think the result would be?

It's important to remember that just because we tell her not to drink, it doesn't necessarily mean she'll listen.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider your reasons for wanting your mother to refrain from drinking.

Could it be that we have certain expectations of our mothers?

It is also worth noting that refraining from drinking may have numerous objective benefits for mothers.

It's fair to say that nobody likes being told what to do.

Perhaps the first step would be to stop asking your mother to change.

I understand this may be challenging for you at 18.

It can sometimes feel as though our hopes are in conflict with our own wishes.

It may be perceived that if one does not care for one's mother, it is an indication that one does not love her.

I respectfully disagree.

Perhaps the most important thing about loving someone is to allow them, rather than demanding them, even if the demand is for their own good.

2. It might be helpful to try doing your own thing and slowly learning to grow up.

You are 18 years old, you have an anxiety disorder, and it can be challenging to manage your emotions.

It would be beneficial to find ways to manage your anxiety in a positive way.

Could I ask if you are taking your medication as prescribed by your doctor?

Could I suggest that you consider whether you are in a position to see a psychologist or receive psychotherapy?

As our own anxiety improves, we may find that our anxiety about our mother drinking eases naturally as a result.

We can only do what we can do ourselves, without seeking help from outside or trying to change others. This is the attitude of taking responsibility for oneself, which can be a helpful way of thinking.

It is beneficial to recognize that when we are open to introspection and willing to accept ourselves, we can have a positive influence on those around us.

We no longer ask our mother not to drink, which is not to say that we approve of her actions, but rather that we are able to move forward in our lives without being consumed by our internal struggles.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider not fighting with your mother in your head.

Perhaps it would be helpful to learn to surrender to the truth and start acting on it in a positive way.

I understand it may be challenging.

As Byron Katie often says, "Our thoughts about the problem may cause us pain, but the problem itself is not the source of our distress."

I believe the book "A Single Thought Can Change Everything" offers valuable insights and I would suggest it as a resource for you.

My dear child, if I may suggest, take your time and let your anxiety subside.

It is also possible that the situation with your mother drinking may improve.

Could there be a possibility that your mother is also feeling anxious because you are feeling anxious, and that she is trying to relieve her anxiety by drinking?

If your mother is reluctant to change, it may be helpful to consider ways of respecting her. It's possible that by respecting her, she may come to recognize that the issue is her own. If she were to decide to make a change, for instance, if she chose to stop drinking, it might be easier for her to do so.

My dear child, I gently suggest that you try to allow for a mother like this, and allow for the distance between her and the mother we expect. Then I believe your mother will feel comfortable, and we will also feel at ease.

Please take as much time as you need.

I hope this finds you well.

Hello, child. I'm hugging you from afar.

You're worried about your mother drinking too much and the harm it'll do to her body. You're also worried that she doesn't listen to you and can't change her problem.

Everything has a cause and effect.

Why is the mother drinking so much? Was it because of her anxiety/my-husband-is-ugly-has-poor-performance-lacks-desire-and-our-marriage-has-become-like-living-with-a-roommate-what-should-i-do-1801.html" target="_blank">marriage?

She was devastated and turned to alcohol? You haven't mentioned the father, so I can only guess.

Or is it work or a loved one? This is a turning point.

We often turn to alcohol when we can't face things. It gives us a short-lived relief, but makes things worse.

You love your mother, but you're an adult now. You can't help her, so you shout at her. This doesn't help.

We can talk to our mother when she's not drinking to understand why she drinks so much. Or we can get help from people outside the family.

If we know our emotions, we won't hurt ourselves or others.

You said, "There are no friends around to guide my mother, and I wish someone knew that my mother's behavior was wrong." Then why?

Why is everyone around her so indifferent to her behavior?

I don't know what's going on in your family, but I hope you can get help to help your mother.

You also have an anxiety disorder, which makes it hard for you to deal with your mother's alcoholism and constant anxiety.

We also suggest a 6-step method for managing your emotions.

1. Stop fighting with your mother and yourself. Accept what is happening.

2. Breathe. Find a quiet place and breathe deeply until you feel calm.

3. Observe. Emotions affect the body.

When you feel an emotion, notice which part of your body is affected.

4. Soothe: Put your hands on the area that's uncomfortable, focus on it, and breathe in warmth.

Breathe out until you feel softer and less uncomfortable.

5. Talk to your emotions.

Ask yourself why you're feeling this way. Don't fight or avoid your emotions, just accept them.

6. Response: When you're calm, imagine a wise person is right in front of you. Ask them how you should respond.

Finally, here's a quote:

Anger, sadness, and fear are cries for love.

A mature person can express needs and desires without emotion.

I hope this helps.

I am Yun Qing, and I love you all! Be well!

Hello.

Your mother drinks a lot, which makes you upset. You tell her to stop, but she doesn't listen. This causes tension in the family and makes things worse between you and your mom.

Understand yourself and hug yourself.

We all know that drinking too much is bad for you! I understand your worries about your mother. You have trouble controlling your emotions and get angry easily. You feel that your mother's drinking causes a lot of trouble and you get blamed for it. The more you want her to stop drinking, the more you demand it of her.

But this will also put a lot of pressure on your mother. If you influence each other like this, it will create a vicious cycle in your relationship. Obviously, rude rebukes will not get your mother to stop drinking. What do you think?

Why does Mom always drink? Have you ever asked her?

Moderate drinking is fine, but excessive drinking is bad for you. Some people drink to feel happy, while others drink to feel better.

Alcohol helps her escape reality. Your mother may have a lot of inner suffering, worries, and just want to relieve it through alcohol.

She doesn't want to change, so why don't you? Try changing your mindset and attitude, and face your mother again.

A mother and daughter are connected. We know we can't rush these things.

When you're with your mother, don't be too tough or impulsive. Accept that she drinks and adjust your emotions. If you can, talk to her in a relaxed atmosphere.

Alcohol can make people more open and willing to confide in others. You can talk about your feelings and realize you love each other.

Talk about the problems to help your mother understand you. If you slowly persuade her, she may be more willing to accept and change. What do you think?

Give your mother moral support by encouraging her to get involved in something meaningful, to interact with people and engage with society. Give her something to do, a sense of purpose, and the feeling that she is needed. I believe she will no longer be able to drink.

If someone who drinks regularly wants to quit, don't ask them to stop drinking right away.

This is unrealistic and unscientific. Persuade someone to drink and quit in a rational, reasonable, and humane way.

You need to drink less and do regular check-ups. This requires self-control and support from your family.

The process will be difficult, but with love and confidence, you can help your mother break free from alcohol dependence and return to a normal life.

I wish you both happiness and health!

Hello.

You are currently living with your mother, and her lifestyle and drinking habits are unacceptable to you and have triggered anxiety in you.

However, despite all your efforts, you are unable to change your mother's drinking habit. The negative consequences of her habit are closely related to you, as if you were personally experiencing them, causing you pain, even more pain than your mother.

It is unacceptable to live apart from your mother. This problem binds the two of you and makes neither of you comfortable.

This is nonsense. It's like zero-distance love, which is a mutual torment and drain.

You love your mother. You want her to become the person you expect her to be, just as you expect yourself to be. You also feel a strong connection with her, as if the two of you were inseparable.

You need to accept that instead of getting your mother to change and adjust in the better direction you desire, you have instead put yourself under a lot of pressure. This is making it difficult for you to control your emotions, and you feel some anxiety. You also have some obsessive thoughts and emotions. You are hoping that someone will persuade and restrain your mother's behavior, so that others will see that she is indeed in the wrong, and that your efforts will be supported and recognized.

The teacher's advice to you is this:

1. You must take care of your emotions and take care of yourself first. Then, you can help your mother.

2. Don't take sides or criticize or force your mother to change her behavior and habits.

Tell your mother what's on your mind. Be honest about how you feel. Let her know what happened after she got drunk and how it made you feel. Then, tell her what you want her to do.

3. You must gradually move from symbiosis with your mother to self-separation and differentiation.

4. It is essential to provide the mother with appropriate guidance and support to encourage her to take initiative in her own life and assume responsibility for her actions.

Greetings,

I am fortunate to be in a position to offer counsel.

From the written description provided, it is evident that the subject in question has a positive regard for her mother, despite past experiences that have negatively impacted her perception of her mother. It can be postulated that the subject's mother's alcohol consumption and subsequent intoxication have contributed to the deterioration of the positive image she had of her mother.

On the one hand, you observed that she would engage in behavior that you perceived as foolish after consuming alcohol. On the other hand, her actions prompted accusations and criticism from those around you, which you found unacceptable. Subsequently, you indicated a desire for your mother to seek psychological treatment. What led you to conclude that she might benefit from such intervention?

Has an objective analysis been conducted to determine whether she may have an anxiety disorder, or is it because she has had this diagnosis before?

Thus, two significant challenges emerge: on the one hand, the image of your mother is being undermined, and you are facing criticism from those around you due to her behavior; on the other hand, you are deeply concerned about your mother's anxiety disorder and hope that she will receive treatment to improve the current situation between you.

Let us examine each of the aforementioned scenarios in turn to ascertain a viable solution.

First and foremost, the primary source of distress is the observation of one's mother behaving in a manner that is perceived as foolish after consuming alcohol, and the subsequent criticism from those in one's immediate social circle. It is evident that a profound respect for one's mother is held, and that the understanding of individual differences is acknowledged.

From your perspective, it is unacceptable to be questioned by others, particularly by your mother, about your mother's behavior.

Once an individual has recognized that they are unable to accept a particular situation, they may choose to employ specific methods and strategies to assist in managing their emotions. It would be beneficial to ascertain whether your mother has been consuming alcohol for an extended period of time.

It is likely that abstaining from alcohol would be challenging for an individual who has a regular consumption pattern and whose mother frequently consumes alcohol to excess. It is important to note that, for a woman, consuming alcohol in moderation is crucial, as excessive alcohol intake can lead to significant personal harm.

It is therefore recommended that the focus be placed on her health. This could be achieved by informing her that excessive alcohol consumption is detrimental to her wellbeing, expressing hope that she will spend more time with you, and encouraging her to adopt a healthier lifestyle. It is important to note that excessive alcohol consumption can lead to feelings of distress and that there are numerous potential risks to her health. It is hoped that she will take responsibility for her life.

Firstly, this is the initial aspect. Secondly, following the actions of your mother, which were perceived as foolish by medical professionals and social workers, you were subjected to criticism. It was implied that you lacked control over your mother and that, as her child, you should have monitored her more closely. You were held responsible by all parties involved and found it challenging to accept this internally.

It is evident that individuals often perceive and interpret situations differently. What we experience may not be immediately apparent to others, who tend to view matters from their own perspective. Consequently, when confronted with criticism or suggestions from others, it is crucial to exercise discernment and avoid hasty self-blame. Instead, it is essential to engage in a rational and objective analysis to assess the merit and value of the other person's feedback.

If the advice provided is beneficial, it can be accepted with an open mind and integrated with one's own ideas to develop a novel approach. However, if the advice is merely based on the individual's own perspective and is unjustifiably critical, it may not be necessary to devote significant attention to it.

It is imperative to recognize that our primary concern is the well-being of our mother. It is our intention to ensure that she does not experience undue hardship.

The aforementioned represents the initial level. Subsequently, the second level is the decision to have your mother undergo psychiatric evaluation.

You believe your mother suffers from an anxiety disorder, and you also have an anxiety disorder yourself. This does not preclude the possibility of being attacked by others, as previously mentioned.

Please provide the name of the hospital where your anxiety disorder was diagnosed and the conclusion reached by the medical team.

If so, is your current stage of the illness in need of pharmacological intervention or related psychological counseling? Are you currently taking any medication on a continuous basis?

In the case of anxiety disorders and depression, early detection, diagnosis, and treatment are of the utmost importance. In the event that a diagnosis has already been made, it is essential to persevere while simultaneously engaging in further reading on spiritual and personal growth, with the aim of facilitating a swift and effective recovery.

Has a diagnosis of anxiety disorder been confirmed for your mother? Alternatively, have you conducted an objective analysis of her situation based on your actual circumstances and reached the conclusion that she is experiencing a similar condition to yours?

In the event that your mother does in fact suffer from an anxiety disorder, it would be advisable for you to take her to a general hospital for diagnosis.

If, from her perspective, she believes she is not ill and does not require medical attention, then it would be beneficial for you to communicate your genuine feelings and medical condition to her.

Additionally, you have expressed concern that some of her behaviors and practices may be indicative of depression, which could be a potential source of anxiety. You may wish to discuss this with her to gain a more objective understanding of the situation and ascertain whether there is a genuine underlying anxiety disorder.

This approach allows for a more measured response and facilitates the identification of potential mental health concerns. Our primary objective is to gain insight into your internal experience. The emergence of these symptoms can be attributed to the misperception of your actions by others, leading to self-blame and a heightened state of vigilance regarding your mother's health and her well-being. You perceive a correlation between your mother's illness and your own, and this has instilled a profound sense of anxiety about her condition.

These factors contribute to the hysterical behavior that is frequently observed in the present context, which leaves the individual uncertain about the appropriate course of action. It is hoped that through the analysis of communication conducted today, a suitable solution can be identified. With regard to health, it is essential to obtain an early diagnosis in order to facilitate the most optimal timing for treatment and to prevent excessive concern about the potential presence of underlying issues.

I wish you the best of success.

Should you wish to continue the dialogue, you are invited to click on the link labelled "Find a coach" located in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. This will enable you to communicate with me directly.

One Psychology Answering Questions Hall Mutual Aid Community, World, and I Love You >> https://m.xinli001.com/qa

The World Health Organization says that the best amount of alcohol to drink is zero. If you drink more than that, it can affect your health. It's clear that your mom has had a lot of problems because of drinking. It's also affected the quality of her life.

It's so important to remember that excessive drinking is harmful to our health and can even lead to drinking mistakes. If you always drink, or even become addicted, you may develop a fixed pattern of drinking to relieve anxiety. This can only make you feel more miserable, which is quite worrying.

? You are now 18 years old. Girl. Family relationships are a bit rocky, right?

It's totally understandable to feel angry when you see your mom drinking. It's not okay to break things when you're angry, though.

We all make mistakes. You've been through a lot and been criticized along the way. It's okay to have a shadow.

☪️☪️☪️☪️ Relieve anxiety through healthy and sustainable means

☘️☘️☘️☘️Drunk

We all know that drinking isn't good for our health. It's a shame that not everyone chooses to escape from the paralysis of alcohol. Maybe your mother is like this too?

☪️☪️☪️☪️ We all get anxious sometimes. It's totally normal! But there are ways to feel better that don't involve drinking or other unhealthy habits.

It's also important to remember that addiction to substances like alcohol or drugs requires professional treatment.

☁️☁️☁️☁️It's also important to find a healthy way to express your anger.

It's true, your mom made a mistake and shouldn't have done that. We all have our limits, and it's okay to not be able to drink or to lose your cool all the time. If you're feeling anxious, it's important to acknowledge that and find ways to calm down.

It might also help to chat with a psychologist or therapist to help you feel more in control. We can't always control everything that happens to us, and you have your own worries and way of living your life. But it can take time for a mother to change her ways.

You have your own anger, and when you give advice, your mother is also very angry. So she also says a lot of angry things, making you feel her own distress and that she may also be on the verge of a breakdown. I know it can be tough, but you're doing a great job!

Maybe it would be good for both of you to try to find a happy middle ground, to understand each other better, and to not let anything get in the way.

You love your mother very much, so you must also give her the appropriate freedom. It's like someone who has smoked for their whole life – it's hard to quit. It's easier to go from frugality to luxury than from luxury to frugality. Those addictions have formed shackles that cannot be broken. If you want to break free, you must find a substitute, such as a healthy drink, or a life that is more in line with her inner expectations.

ZQ?