An 18-year-old high school girl, does a child really care about thinness or obesity now?

I extend to you my best wishes for an enjoyable weekend, accompanied by a 360-degree hug.

In response to your inquiry, I was prompted to recall my own experiences during my high school years, when I developed a penchant for monochromatic attire. I sought the counsel of my cousin, who, at the age of 40, gravitated towards vibrant hues, particularly yellow, green, and blue.

My sister is perplexed by my affinity for dark gray at such a young age, and I am similarly perplexed by her affinity for such light colors at such an advanced age.

There is a mutual dislike of each other's aesthetic sensibilities. Now that more than 20 years have passed, I also feel that my own aesthetic sensibilities at the time were peculiar. My sister is on the path to becoming a flamboyant elderly woman and will never revert to her former self.

One reason for the perception of a lack of understanding of one's 18-year-old daughter is the forgetting of what was important at the age of 18. Another reason is the realisation that today's children are different from those of the past, and that there is a generation gap between them.

When confronted with a new 18-year-old individual, our previous experiences and perspectives may prove inadequate. To illustrate, when I wore wide-leg pants in my youth, my mother failed to comprehend my preference. From her perspective, attire should conform to conventional standards of fit, particularly in regard to the waistline.

She remains unable to comprehend, and I simply disregard her inquiries.

My niece, who is in junior high school, wears baggy clothes that my mother deems to be aesthetically unappealing. Fortunately, my mother refrains from commenting on her attire and refrains from interfering with her personal style choices.

It is often the case that adults struggle to comprehend the behaviors of children. This is because adults tend to apply their own perspectives and values when attempting to understand the actions of children, which can lead to misinterpretations. For instance, a nine-year-old child may express concerns about their weight, asking their mother if they are overweight or if their weight is within the normal range.

The child is nine years of age, 1.4 meters tall, and weighs 50 pounds. When one stands in the child's shoes, it becomes easier to comprehend their words and actions.

High school students require recognition, alignment with their peers, and acceptance from their peers to achieve a sense of belonging. When all students within a social group adhere to similar fashion norms and physical characteristics, they tend to gravitate towards this standard, fostering a sense of cohesion and belonging.

Otherwise, they will experience feelings of exclusion and be subjected to significant social pressure.

In regard to children, it is imperative that we provide them with a great deal of understanding, guidance, and influence. It is crucial that we refrain from issuing commands in a brisk and impolite manner. Instead, we should take the time to elucidate our concerns to our children, thereby ensuring that they are aware of our affection and concerns.

I am frequently both a Buddhist and a pessimist, and on occasion, an optimistic counselor. I hold a deep affection and concern for the world and for you.

Similarly, individuals often desire the same material possessions as those they observe acquiring them. For instance, if another person purchases a villa, an individual may also aspire to obtain one through borrowing.

While the content of children's and adult approval may differ, the underlying approach is similar.

In the case of high school students, the most effective approach is one that emphasizes understanding and guidance.

My name is Gu Yi, and I am a modest and unassuming individual, similar to the character I portray.

The teenage years are a period of significant physical and emotional change, during which children begin to develop their own unique sense of beauty.

It is important to understand why children care about being fat or thin.

In today's world of instant entertainment, a significant portion of our information is derived from short videos. These videos often transmit concepts that play a guiding role for our children. They are widely popular, and children are comparing themselves in various ways. As a result, children who should be quietly studying begin to focus on how to become beautiful and pay more attention to their figure and appearance.

In this regard, we can provide more guidance. Schools generally require children to wear school uniforms, and the bulky uniforms cannot accommodate the individuality of each student. At this critical juncture in their senior year, it is imperative for parents and schools to collaborate to provide guidance. When their worldviews, outlooks on life, and values are not yet fully formed, it is crucial to offer them more accurate guidance and a broader understanding of beauty. Wang Yaping, the first female captain, is currently striving to enhance her long-term attractiveness. Being fat or thin does not represent beauty; being healthy is sufficient.

❀Given that our child now values their body weight as a secret and is reluctant to share it with their parents, let alone with anyone else, we should respect our child's developing sense of privacy and help them navigate this period smoothly on the basis of respect. The pressure of senior year studies is high, as is mental consumption, which makes our children have a strong appetite, resulting in a certain degree of weight gain.

This is a typical phase that most children will experience. Once they have progressed through this stage and developed a more refined sense of beauty, they will find it easier to navigate these issues. To support them in this transition, we can provide additional guidance.

How to guide your child's aesthetic concepts.

The age of rebellion represents a critical period for shaping a child's values. It is therefore essential that parents pay close attention to this stage of their child's development. They can guide their children towards a broader understanding of beauty through the use of stories and real-life examples. Additionally, parents can assist their children in addressing weight-related concerns through dietary adjustments. It is crucial for a child's inner growth to develop a sense of trust in their parents and to establish a positive parent-child relationship.

Once a successful and close parent-child relationship has been established, it is possible to discuss beauty with the child. If the child feels that the clothes purchased are not in line with their personal style, it is important to respect their choices when dressing them. However, as the parent or guardian, it is also necessary to guide the child on what to wear for which occasions. It is beneficial to discuss one's own dressing styles with the child and to communicate, accept and exchange ideas with them. This approach allows for a more successful and harmonious relationship between the parent or guardian and the child.

In addition to our role as parents, we can also serve as friends to our children. When a child is concerned about weight, they may not openly discuss it. This can lead to feelings of embarrassment and sensitivity, which can result in the child developing defenses. To effectively support our children, it is essential that we also serve as modern-day mothers.

It is important to allow the child to perceive that the issue he is concerned about is not a significant matter and that he can openly discuss it with his parents without feeling compelled to avoid it. This approach facilitates more effective communication between the child and his parents, which in turn makes guidance more straightforward. It also has positive implications for the child's physical and mental development and future prospects.

Best regards,

Hello, host! I'm July.

After reading your description, I have a better understanding of the question you want to ask, so I'll give you a hug in four dimensions.

From what you've said, it's clear you care about your daughter and want the best for her. You're aware of her concerns about clothes and body image, and you've shared your views on being thin or not. You don't want her to be too influenced by the concept of having to be thin, because you care about her and want her to make her own decisions.

It's true that most teenagers at your daughter's age are very concerned about how they look. Generally speaking, teenagers at this age are influenced by social concepts and standards. Just as many people think that only thin people look good, so do people at this age because they are not fully mature in all aspects. It's easy for them to follow the views of most people, and they also feel that only thin people are beautiful, while fat people are not good-looking. And such concepts are deeply rooted, so it will take time to change them immediately.

In this regard, I've also put together a few tips to help you cope with the current situation. I hope they'll be useful to you.

(1) See if you can find a good time and place to talk with your daughter about how you're feeling and what you're thinking.

(2) Try to communicate with your daughter in a tactful way, not just to express your own thoughts, but also to show her that you care and pay attention to her.

(3) Don't dismiss your daughter's ideas too much, because if you do, she'll think you're wrong and that you don't understand her.

(4) It might help to see things from your daughter's perspective. In general, thin people seem to be more popular than fat people, because many people are visual animals.

(5) Relax, take it easy, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. If your daughter still thinks that being thin is a good thing, then that's fine. At the end of the day, this is your daughter's own business. As an adult, you can just let it go. Interfering will only cause your daughter to resent you. Plus, adolescents need more freedom and privacy. At this time, parents can give them more personal space instead of interfering too much.

I just wanted to say that I love you, the world, and everything in it.

Wishing you the best!

Hello! I just read your text description and I'm so excited to help! I don't understand why a high school girl cares so much about being thin or fat. I think there's a communication problem between mother and daughter that we can solve!

Each stage of a child's development is fascinating! An 18-year-old girl is basically ready to take on the world. What's more important is psychological communication, and psychological understanding is the key. The so-called love of beauty is common to all people, and it is especially obvious in high school girls. At this stage, their inner self-concept is not yet established, and their self-evaluation is still developing. They are not particularly sure of themselves, so they need external recognition, especially from their peers, to constantly stabilize their own recognition of themselves. Therefore, they are particularly concerned about what others think, which is a normal psychological development at this stage, or a stage where they need external affirmation, which will accompany them throughout their growth until they establish a more and more stable self.

As you mentioned in your description, your daughter has a unique style and doesn't like the clothes you buy. She also has her own ideas about what size she wants to wear. It seems that your daughter has her own way of doing things and doesn't approve of your communication with her.

Our parents' perceptions are based on years of accumulated growth and life experience. Our daughters' growth is unique to the experiences they have as they go through the stages of development. This means there's a big difference between parents' perceptions and their daughters' perceptions! So, in the communication process, try to stand in her shoes and look at the problems she encounters. Then, propose solutions that she can agree with based on her way of thinking. I believe this will be more accepted by your daughter!

For example, when it comes to buying clothes, parents can set a bottom line for buying clothes, such as the bottom line style, bottom line price, and the number of purchases to be discussed and determined. After that, the daughter can decide on her own. If she ends up not liking the clothes she chose herself, you can review and reflect with her together, and avoid the pitfalls next time you buy clothes. At this time, you express your experience, so that your daughter can accept it more, and the clothes issue will not affect the parent-child relationship. This is a great way to get your daughter involved in the process and help her feel more confident in her own choices. It's also a wonderful opportunity to bond and have fun together!

If your daughter is feeling a bit overweight, you can discuss an exercise plan with her and lose weight together through exercise! This will be a great parent-child activity. You'll gain health through exercise and slowly gain mutual trust.

Parent-child relationships are an amazing thing! They require parents to spend a certain amount of energy and thought, and it's so worth it. Different approaches are needed at different stages, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. With your patience and effort, I know that the mother-daughter relationship will get better and better!

Hello,

Host:

I am Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I have carefully read the post, and I understand your confusion.

You are actively seeking help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help you understand your daughter's psychology from more perspectives. You will understand and know her better.

I will now share my observations and thoughts in the post, which will help you look at your daughter from a more diverse perspective.

1. Psychological characteristics of puberty

From the post, we know that the poster's daughter is 18 and in the throes of adolescence. So, what are the psychological characteristics of people during this period?

People at this time often pay particular attention to what others think and hope to be liked, recognized, and accepted by others. They want to become what they idealistically see themselves as.

This ideal is often quite "perfect." It's important to understand where this standard of perfection comes from. It's clear that everyone has a different standard.

However, these standards are often influenced by the mainstream media and the judgments and evaluations of classmates.

In today's world, the idea that being thin is better looking is pervasive. Many girls are driven to pursue this ideal, aiming to become "perfect." This is a normal aspect of their psychological development. At this stage, they are not concerned with external factors.

Listen and respect.

There are significant differences in the way the two generations think. Adolescent children want to be respected, and when there are disagreements and differences, it's crucial to show respect.

Children value respect for differences, even when opinions and views differ. We must learn to listen to them.

This will ensure that your relationship remains good. It will also help you understand her better and her inner feelings.

It is crucial to understand that these two points are vital to any parent-child relationship. If the relationship is strained, children will often refuse to listen to their parents and may even reject them. It is therefore essential to prioritize the relationship at this stage.

3. You should try to be friends with her.

Mom and daughter can and should be friends. Being friends means listening to her better and respecting her.

You can share your views on weight loss and your aesthetics together. And as friends, your communication will be more effective.

I am confident that these ideas will be of some help and inspiration to you.

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

From what the questioner has said and asked, it seems that the questioner's child is in high school, while mine is in elementary school. It seems that nowadays, children care a lot about being fat or thin, about beauty and ugliness. Is that really how children feel now? Actually, it's not. This phenomenon has always existed, but children in the past did not directly express their inner thoughts.

This kind of situation in children is what we call appearance anxiety. There are a lot of reasons why kids have this problem. Some say it's because of the standards set by society as a whole. Others say it's because of the way businesses market beauty. They narrow the definition of beauty to fit their own goals. For example, they say that a waist size of A4 is beautiful, or that you can put a gold coin on your collarbone, or that your double eyelids are beautiful, or that you can't be too heavy, and so on. It seems like they think that only the beauty they describe is real beauty. If you don't meet their standards, then it has nothing to do with beauty.

What are the psychological characteristics of today's children?

1. The people and environment the child is exposed to can make them feel insecure.

Kids care about appearance because it's related to the people and environment they usually interact with. If classmates often say, "That student is so fat, I don't know how she has the courage to come to school," or "That student looks so unique, how dare she go out looking so ugly," after hearing so many such criticisms, kids are afraid in their hearts that they too will become the one being discussed, so they want to become the standard of beauty in other people's mouths.

This is also why semi-micro-surgery is so popular these days. Once a child develops a sense of comparison in appearance, it's important as a family member to correct the child's wrong perception in time. It's good for children to understand that everyone has different aesthetic standards and that there is no standard of beauty. We all look different, so being too demanding will make you lose your own happiness. Caring too much about other people's aesthetics may make your body unhealthy, similar to the effects of losing weight.

2. Show your kids respect.

As parents, we should also respect our kids' aesthetic standards. Everyone has a love of beauty, and kids are independent individuals with their own ideas. We shouldn't try to force our views on them, because if our aesthetic standards are too different from theirs, they might resent us.

If a child wants to lose weight, we can talk about healthy ways to do it together, or we can set a time and supervise. We can also interact with the child and make them feel respected. This way, the child will also actively discuss and bring up any ideas they have with their parents.

3. Encourage your child to focus more on their strengths.

Kids can lose sight of their own strengths because of the people and environment they come into contact with. This can lead to a lack of self-confidence. What parents can do is affirm their children more often and allow them to see more of their own strengths.

You can talk to your child about what style they like best when getting dressed and give them some positive reinforcement for making the right choice. This will help your child feel more confident in their decisions and, when they're confident enough, they won't be influenced by other people's opinions and will stick to their own ideas.

I hope this helps the original poster. Best regards,

Greetings.

It appears that children are more sensitive than previously thought.

It is challenging to capture the nuances of parent-child interactions. Consider a mother who is laid-back and does not pay close attention to details, including her child's reactions. The child, on the other hand, is sensitive and craves her mother's recognition and care. If these differences in perception are not addressed effectively, it can negatively impact the mother-daughter relationship.

When purchasing attire, does her daughter truly prioritize thinness or obesity?

From the mother's inquiries and discourse, it is evident that this is not a significant issue. However, from the daughter's perspective, weight may be a substantial concern, given that she is still in adolescence and does not possess a mature worldview. She is more preoccupied with how she is perceived by others and her evaluation criteria are also more subjective.

It is therefore pertinent to inquire as to why a daughter who evinces a clear penchant for evaluation and a craving for her mother's attention appears to be aloof and domineering when she speaks. This may be attributed to the fact that she feels that she does not receive an adequate degree of care and affection from her mother. Consequently, she will recoil slightly to observe the situation as a means of self-preservation. It must be noted, however, that this is an ineffective mode of communication. It thus falls upon her mother, as an adult, to provide guidance, express her inner feelings, and facilitate the flow of her emotions.

How might a mother address her child's unconventional responses or discrepancies?

1. Establish an atmosphere of relaxation and pleasantness conducive to communication.

The optimal parent-child relationship is one that is akin to that of friends. Given that mothers and daughters share a common gender, they are more likely to form a close bond. The mother can serve as a valuable source of guidance for her daughter, while the daughter can act as a trusted confidante for her mother, providing support in navigating life's challenges, including self-doubt, feelings of being out of step with others, and inner turmoil.

In order to facilitate this, mothers must learn to adopt a humble disposition, demonstrate active listening, respect their children, and uphold their children's dignity. Only in this way can children more readily open up to them and confide in them.

2. It is important to be mindful of your child's emotional state and provide assistance in overcoming negative emotions.

The issues of weight, appearance, and beauty are significant concerns for many girls, particularly in the context of material abundance. Children's aspirations for self-improvement may lead to anxiety about weight, appearance, and beauty, prompting them to seek external assistance. This can create a challenging environment for rebuilding the parent-child relationship and establishing communication channels. Therefore, it is essential to prioritize emotional well-being during weekdays, assist children in releasing negative emotions, and develop strategies to resist negative emotions.

3. Establish principles and maintain consistency in one's stance, regardless of circumstances.

What characteristics do children find appealing in their parents?

It may appear that there is no limit to the extent to which children's desires can be satisfied. However, this is often the result of a lack of appropriate parenting perspectives. While children desire greater love from their parents, they also seek parents who are respected and self-disciplined. This will instill a sense of honor in children, motivating them to love life and strive for self-improvement.

Consequently, parents who exemplify positive behaviors for their children are more influential than those who merely espouse empty rhetoric or allow their children to act at will. Parents must provide their children with the emotional fortitude to navigate life's challenges, enabling them to feel a sense of inner security and to draw insights from their parents' actions and teachings. This enables children to apply these lessons to their own lives, distinguish between right and wrong, and make ethical decisions.

I wish you the best of luck.

Dear Question Asker, After reading your description, I would also like to discuss my daughter's experience in her senior year of high school and her perception of aesthetics with you.

First, the child may express discontent over the lack of new clothes. However, upon closer examination, it may be evident that there is no actual shortage of garments, but rather a dearth of a particular favored item.

This is why the adage exists: a girl will never have enough clothes. If you require a rationale for purchasing new attire, it is because the garments you wore last year are no longer aligned with your current disposition.

I believe this to be the case.

Secondly, you stated that she purchased the dress online and that the style is acceptable, but it does not fit. The dress is somewhat thin, and I advised her to exchange it for a larger size, but she declined and stated that she would wait until she lost weight to wear it. Upon reviewing her online shopping history, I discovered that this was the largest size available. Is my child so concerned about being either fat or thin?

It is important to note that perceptions of body image also vary from person to person. During this developmental stage, girls often desire to be thinner, similar to the portrayal of heroines in TV dramas who are considered beautiful, can wear any clothes, and have a high degree of personal autonomy.

I recall that during her third year of high school, my daughter experienced weight gain due to academic pressure. Upon returning from holiday, she faced a significant workload, including numerous tests and assignments.

The only way to relieve stress is to go shopping and purchase several inexpensive items of clothing, stating that she will wear them after the examinations. I did not offer any further advice at the time, merely suggesting that she consider investing in better quality garments in the future, which will be more comfortable to wear.

Now that she is employed, she is also able to select appropriate attire. Personal growth is a process that requires time.

Ultimately, there is a discrepancy between the perceptions of parents and their children. As parents, the well-being of their children is of paramount importance, and other considerations can be addressed at a later stage.

For children of this age, peer approval is a significant factor. Additionally, they may experience envy towards those perceived as more attractive and in better physical condition, regardless of their own circumstances. It is crucial to demonstrate to children through our actions that there are diverse forms of beauty and that personal growth and maturity are valuable.

An individual with expertise and refined taste is inherently graceful. What is your opinion on this matter?