Are humans always like this? How can one break free from the longing for friends?

Friendships can be as simple as shared interests or as complex as a combination of emotions and casual acquaintances. Truly loyal friends take time to develop, and they often emerge when the right circumstances and people come together. Interpersonal relationships are often complex and can feel overwhelming.

I used to be the kind of friend who helped others, and I would help as much as I could. This is a positive attitude, but when you need help from friends, they seem to have disappeared or don't know you, and they act very coldly.

As a second-year high school student, the school closure due to the pandemic also made things pretty tough for you. I couldn't get a lot of things, like classwork and homework, so I had to ask my friends for help. But there were a lot of unexpected twists and turns along the way.

The other person told you to ask the class representative to give it to you directly, but it seemed like they didn't want to help you. You asked her for help, but she ended up telling you to ask someone else. It's pretty obvious that they're trying to avoid helping you, and it makes people think that they don't really want to help you.

It seems like this friend is just trying to avoid helping you in every way possible, which is really disheartening. Playing the game of "tai chi" for so long may also help people understand the true state of this person's heart. You've also given up on her. The once-good relationship can't even get the other person to do a small favor for you, which is disheartening and painful.

Maybe this will help you understand the relationship between this person and yourself, and make any necessary adjustments in the future. Take a look at how to reduce expectations of friends, and focus on those who are righteous and share your values. Our interpersonal relationships are always changing, as are our experiences and choices. Best wishes.

ZQ?

Good morning, question asker!

I'm just a regular girl with no worries, and I hope I can be of some help to you.

I have taken the time to read your question carefully, and I would like to offer you a hug first.

I hope my thoughts and suggestions will be of some help to you.

Perhaps we could begin by analysing the specific problem encountered by the questioner and trying to interpret and analyse it.

Could this be an accurate reflection of how people or society is?

It would be beneficial to consider that when people come to you for help, they will help you if they can. However, when you are really in trouble, it might be helpful to think about how many people will really help you.

If I may, I would like to share a rather unusual experience.

I'm a second-year high school student. Due to the circumstances, my school was closed, but I was able to take online classes. However, I encountered a challenge in accessing the materials I would have received if I had taken classes in person, and this is going to continue for more than a month. When I shared this with my teacher, she didn't seem to be aware of the issue.

I would be very grateful if my good friend could help me get it because she lives in the dormitory and knows me well.

If it isn't an inconvenience, could you possibly hold the exam papers for me? I just need the papers for the two subjects. Otherwise, I unfortunately won't be able to attend the class.

If I may suggest, perhaps you could simply ask the class representative to give it to you.

If you could find two exam papers for me and leave them with the doorman, that would be greatly appreciated.

"Perhaps you could ask the class representative to take the test paper and leave it there?"

Me: First, I don't have WeChat, and second, we're not that close. Perhaps you could ask the other class representatives to look for it and leave it at the doorman's, and I could go get it myself?

[Go directly to the group and add friends]

I must say, I don't bother with her anymore. There seems to be a discrepancy between what I say and what she says.

If I were to get along well with the class representative, would I still turn to you? We've been together for over a year, every day, and I had assumed we were best friends, but it seems that may not be the case.

First and foremost, it's important to understand that it's a matter of courtesy for others to extend a helping hand when needed, and it's their responsibility to do so. There's no reason to take anything for granted.

I can relate to your situation. I also experienced something similar when my uncle passed away due to illness.

My uncle was like another father to me, and I was really sad at that time. I confided in my best friend about it, but she didn't offer any words of comfort because she was preoccupied with her own romantic situation. Even when she saw the message, she didn't reply to me.

Instead, it was a few days before she responded, and her message did not offer much comfort.

She was preoccupied with discussing her boyfriend, which made me feel particularly sad and heartbroken at the time.

On reflection, I feel that others are under no obligation to offer me comfort.

I would like to share some thoughts with you.

In the real world, nobody is obliged to help anybody else. It's important to remember that not everyone's kindness is a blessing, and not everyone's politeness is a sign of good fortune. It's also crucial to not take other people's kindness for granted.

It is always a good idea to be grateful for help that you receive. If someone does not help you, it is not helpful to resent them. It is important to remember that, no matter what, you should always be grateful when someone helps you. It is okay if you are not grateful, but it is not helpful to repay kindness with hatred.

Life can be challenging. We all have our own responsibilities and pursuits, and it's not always possible to be there for each other. There will be times when we're faced with difficulties and challenges, and it's important to have the resilience to navigate these challenges independently. While we can't always control what others do, we can take responsibility for our own actions and decisions.

Everyone has their own pursuits. It's important to recognize that no one can be sure that they will never abandon you, and no one can guarantee to silently protect you all the time. There are some storms and winds that no one will shelter you from, and it's up to you to rely on yourself for everything. It's not a bad idea to consider relying on others, but ultimately, the only way to be secure is to rely on yourself. Those who work hard on their own can stand firm. It's okay to consider relying on others, but the only way to be secure is to rely on yourself. Those who work hard on their own can stand firm. It's okay to consider relying on others, but the only way to be secure is to rely on yourself. Those who work hard on their own can stand firm. It's okay to consider relying on others, but the only way to be secure is to rely on yourself. Those who work hard on their own can stand firm.

It would be greatly appreciated if you could help out whenever you can. If you are unable to help, please be understanding.

You are welcome to contact the student committee, even if you are not yet familiar with each other. With time and practice, you will undoubtedly become more comfortable with it.

There's really no need to be embarrassed. It's perfectly normal for everyone to go from being strangers to gradually becoming more familiar with each other.

It might be helpful to talk to the student representative and try to communicate well.

I'm sure he'll be happy to help. Perhaps you could invite him for a cup of milk tea and a meal at that time.

It's okay not to take it too seriously. If you're not comfortable helping, that's fine. There are plenty of other people who can help out.

My name is Xiaobai, and I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

I encourage you to persevere. The world and I are rooting for you!

Hello!

Give yourself a big hug! Sometimes, people can grow up really quickly because of the way they act. You don't even have to think about it. You can see right through someone if you want to. The shallowest relationship is when you need a little patience and help from the other person. Then you can see what's really going on.

Is this just how people are nowadays? Or is this the result of the current social climate?

If you think about it, it's not really equal because it involves the question of whether the other person has the ability to "love." And when I say "love," I don't just mean "I'm friends with her, so I can be nice to her." I mean truly accepting someone from the bottom of your heart and giving them the ability to love. That's something only people with the ability to love can truly do. So, if they can't do that, they're not really giving.

I totally get it. When you're struggling with your studies because of the impact of the epidemic and you ask your classmates for a little help, but they keep making excuses, it's only natural for your patience to wear thin. Otherwise, they wouldn't have kept making excuses and left you feeling "speechless." At that moment, she probably didn't think about how it feels to be rejected all the time, but she kept on asking because she didn't want to put in the hard work herself. Could it be that this favor is really difficult to help with?

I'm sorry to say that the answer is probably not, but it seems like she really doesn't want to help. Otherwise, she wouldn't have continued to make excuses and perfectly balanced her own feelings in the process, refusing to give in. It's like she's never thought about doing her friend a favor as a friend and put herself in your shoes. At the moment, your friend is coming to you with a very urgent request.

Maybe you're wondering, "What kind of person is this?" You might even think of a very fitting word: "white-eyed wolf." If you had a great relationship with this friend and she needed you, and you were always there for her, then she does fit the description of a "white-eyed wolf." She's become one, that's for sure! But her approach is a bit too simple, which is why you saw through her right away. It's not considered very skilled to avoid important issues and dwell on the trivial. On the bright side, you've seen a person's true nature with minimal effort. The truly skilled don't let anyone see their traces, and the lowly people in society who do make friends basically have no friends. If the skilled can't win against time, they'll also become lonely and desolate.

So, after a moment of surprise, let it go. Her value as a friend has already dimmed in your life. You might feel reluctant at first, but it's okay. It's just your heart telling you that you need to take care of yourself. There's no need to pursue it, and it's normal to feel betrayed.

How can we work through these feelings?

The original poster asks how to give up the desire for friendship. The answer is that there is no need to give it up! We humans are social animals, and the desire for friendship is a very natural emotion. When problems arise, we can solve them reasonably. People who violate the bottom line of friendship can also be removed in time. However, one does not need to give up all the better people one may meet in the future because of one person. Internally, one also needs to get rid of the extreme way of thinking of either/or. One needs to learn to be tolerant and accept some minor shortcomings of friends. As the saying goes, "If water is clear, there will be no fish."

1. It's always good to think about friendships from a different perspective.

When friends have a good relationship, they are as close as family, without distinguishing between you and me. However, when conflicts and friction arise, it's important to be able to reflect immediately. For example, "When I feel uncomfortable when she talks to me," it's good to ask yourself, "Is she only targeting me, or is she like this with everyone?" In other words, is this just a matter of the other person's personality? Then you'll understand the other person a little better, and be able to better understand your friend, so that there are fewer misunderstandings between you.

But when I feel like I'm being singled out, I have to speak up and let the other person know that her actions might hurt my feelings. If she's in a sincere relationship, she'll probably adjust her words and deeds after we talk. It's important to remember that we can't expect someone to deal with our feelings for us. We have to be responsible for our own words and actions.

2. The best relationship is one where you can share both the good times and the bad.

Girls' relationships are different from boys' relationships. While a fight can sometimes make a girl-to-girl relationship stronger, it can also leave scars that take a long time to heal. This is why girl relationships are often more delicate. But it's important to remember that even the best girlfriends need to be tested. Just because you're not tired of being together every day doesn't mean you're best friends. Sometimes, girlfriends are just friends you have because you like being around them, and that can change.

The questioner is someone who really values friendship and loyalty. They care a lot about friendship, but they might not have thought about whether the loyalty is worth paying before. So, it's not too late to find out the truth now! After all, they haven't entered society yet, so they can avoid a lot of unnecessary hardships and troubles. People's feelings are mutual, and friendship also requires mutual efforts to enhance the warmth!

3. It's time to give your friend system a makeover and start building some truly amazing friendships!

The good thing about trouble is that it gives us the chance to grow and learn and become stronger. This is your chance to reorganize your friend system and reset your standards for choosing friends. This is not a bad thing, is it? And those who are truly kind and appreciate the good qualities of their friends will definitely be attracted to each other and build a more stable and nourishing relationship.

Finally, don't dwell on this for too long. It's natural to feel sad, but try not to let your emotions get the better of you. Take some time to contact the class representative and work through your immediate issues. Once you've done that, you can start to think about how to move forward and resolve any remaining negative feelings. Your friend will probably come around eventually.

Growing up is all about learning to handle pain in a way that works for you. It's not about being timid!

I hope you're doing well!

Hello, classmate! I see the confusion you are facing right now, and I'm here to help!

You're going through some interpersonal challenges, but you'll get through them! I'm sending you a big, warm hug to help you through this.

I have read your description carefully several times and I get the feeling you want your friend to help you get the study guides for two subjects. It seems like she is a little reluctant to help you, which is totally understandable!

In fact, our social life is very realistic nowadays! Your friend doesn't feel obliged to help you, which is why she asked you to join the class rep's group and get the exam papers.

I think you could really make a difference by talking to your friend in a more tactful way.

For example, tell her, "I know you're not obliged to get my schoolwork for me. How about this: next time I'll return the favor and get the worksheets you need."

Or, if you and your friend are living in the same dormitory, you can tell her, "When I cook home-style food this week, I'll invite you over to eat; as a small token of appreciation."

When she hears that you'll give her something sweet, she'll usually agree to get the test paper for you!

Otherwise, she'll feel bad in her heart, thinking that even though you're friends, why should she help you?

I totally get it! I used to be just like you. For a while, I lived in a school dormitory and asked my classmates directly to help me with things, but they didn't want to.

Then I learned a fantastic technique, which I told you about above: you can't say it so directly, you have to say it tactfully.

Then I had a lightbulb moment! I realised that if I told my classmates what benefits they could get if they helped me, most of them would be willing to help me.

Anyway, I'm really excited for you to find an effective solution to the problem you're facing soon!

I've got nothing more to say!

I really hope my answers above will be helpful and inspiring to you, young lady! I am the answer, and I study hard every day!

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Best wishes!