Are middle school students still beaten for making mistakes?

Hello, classmate! I can see the confusion you are facing right now, and I give you a big, warm hug!

You're now in junior high school, and while your mom still spanks you when you make a mistake, you're excited to see what the future holds!

Then you find out that your classmates don't get spanked anymore!

It's possible that your mother still has a more traditional mindset and believes that "a dutiful son comes from under the rod."

I think it would be a great idea for you to find an opportunity to have a good talk with your mother!

When communicating with your mother, it is a great idea to start sentences with the word "I" rather than "you."

And guess what? You can also use the methods in the book (Nonviolent Communication)!

For example, you could say to your mother: "Guess what! Today at school I couldn't sit still and my classmates asked me what was wrong. I answered that I had been punished by my mother for a mistake I made last night. They actually laughed at me and said that they were no longer spanked when they went to high school."

I really hope you can understand me. I'm already a teenager, and I feel embarrassed when I make a mistake and get spanked by my mom. But in the future, when I make a mistake, you can talk to me nicely and don't spank my bottom anymore, okay?

I'm really excited to see what kind of feedback your mother gives you after you've said all of the above to her!

I'm really hoping you can find an effective solution to the problem you're facing soon!

Now, all I can think of is the above!

I really hope my answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner! I'm the answerer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Best wishes!

I'm so excited to see what you come up with!

Hello! I'm your counselor, and I'm so excited to chat with you.

It's tough to go through the experience of being beaten up and teased by your classmates. I'm here to listen and help you navigate this challenge.

First of all, you need to understand that being beaten is not a solution to the problem. It may temporarily make you feel scared and submissive, but it won't really help you to change your ways. So, let's find a better way!

And, getting beaten will also hurt your self-esteem and self-confidence, and make you lose face in front of your classmates.

You were so right to tell your mother that you don't want to be beaten! Try to communicate your feelings and thoughts to her in a nice way.

We've got some great suggestions that we think will really help!

1. Choose the right time and place!

It's great that you're talking to your mother about this! Just remember, it's best not to talk to her when she's angry. Wait until she's calmed down and find a private place to talk to her.

2. Express your feelings and thoughts!

Tell her how you felt after being hit! You can tell her you felt scared, wronged, or even angry. Let her know that being hit did not make you change your mistakes, but it did make you feel worse.

3. Make your suggestions!

You can tell her that you are willing to take responsibility for your mistakes, and you really hope that she will not hit you again. You can suggest some other punishments, such as writing a reflection or doing household chores.

4. Listen to her!

It's also a great idea to listen to your mother's thoughts and understand why she hit you. She probably just wanted to discipline you and didn't mean any harm!

5. Ask for help!

If you can't agree, you can ask other family members for help! Your father, grandparents, etc. are all there for you.

Here are some sample sentences for your reference:

"Mom, I know I was wrong and I'm willing to correct it. But being beaten really makes me feel bad, and I don't want to be beaten again in the future."

"Oh, I have a great idea! What if we punish me in a different way? I could write a reflection, do chores, or something else fun!"

"I know you want to discipline me, but I really hope you can respect me."

"If we can't agree, we can ask Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, or our teacher for help!"

When you're having a conversation, remember to pay attention to your tone and attitude! Try to remain calm and polite. Don't argue with your mother, and don't talk back.

You can trust that she will understand how you feel and make changes!

We really hope these suggestions will help you communicate with your mother and avoid being beaten again!

Dear Question Asker,

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a sense of inner grievance. However, you also possess a commendable degree of awareness, which enables you to identify this grievance and confront it with courage.

You have described a situation in which a junior high school student was spanked by his mother for making a mistake. Your best friend inquired about this incident and subsequently expressed amusement. You feel discomfort and humiliation when you learn that the student has not been spanked since junior high school. You desire to communicate with your mother but are uncertain about how to broach the subject. Is that an accurate representation of your situation?

With regard to your inner feelings, it is evident that your primary concern pertains to your reputation as a teenager. The specifics of your relationship with your mother and the educational approach embraced by your family are unknown to me.

Nevertheless, your decision to seek assistance demonstrates courage and commitment to finding a solution.

All problems are potential resources for growth and learning. We are adept at identifying solutions to our own challenges. When faced with uncertainty, what is your initial response?

The source of your confusion appears to be whether junior high school students are still subjected to physical discipline when they leave the confines of the educational institution. This question is contingent upon the specific disciplinary approach employed by each parent.

It is also important to note that parents consider their children's behavioral patterns when determining appropriate disciplinary actions.

A punishment for our mistakes, or a form of education. Errors in judgment are a natural part of the human experience.

It is important to note that each individual's emotional state is unique, as are the familial atmospheres and environments in which they are situated.

In response to your inquiry, it can be posited that you possess the requisite answer within yourself, as you are uniquely aware of the characteristics of your mother's personality.

Firstly, it is this author's opinion that the nature and frequency of an individual's mistakes can be summarized based on whether the same mistake is made often, occasionally, or

It is also important to consider whether the same mistakes are being repeated. It is essential to be aware of one's own state and to make the necessary adjustments.

It is not possible to alter the fundamental characteristics of one's mother; however, it is possible to modify one's own behaviour and attempt to avoid significant missteps. When our mothers observe our changes, they may also undergo a transformation.

Secondly, it is recommended that you attempt to communicate with your mother. Initially, it is advised that you express your feelings in a detached manner, without allowing your emotions to influence your words.

It is also important to listen to what your mother has to say. While everyone may have a point, it is essential to also communicate your own hopes and feelings.

It is unfeasible to expect immediate transformation in one's child. However, they may be able to discern one's words and assist in adopting a novel approach to education.

In conclusion, it is important to recognise that each individual possesses a unique educational paradigm, which may be either beneficial or detrimental. It is essential to develop the capacity to adapt and evolve in a manner that is not unduly influenced by external factors.

Given the inherent differences in individual circumstances, it is inevitable that each person's mentality will vary.

It is imperative to prioritize self-reflection, self-connection, and self-acceptance. While external influences may be present, it is essential to recognize that one's authentic self is the foundation for personal growth and resilience.

Give her a hug first!

Corporal punishment of children is considered inappropriate or even illegal in many countries and regions. Educational experts recommend using more positive and constructive methods to correct a child's behavior. Here are some suggestions to help you communicate with your mother and avoid being subjected to corporal punishment again:

Choose the right time. Find a time when your mother is in a better mood and more relaxed. Avoid bringing up the subject when she is angry or busy.

Tell your mother in a calm and respectful manner that you feel pain, embarrassment, and humiliation when you are hit. Explain what negative effects this form of punishment has had on you.

Propose alternatives. Suggest other educational methods, such as communication, discussion, setting rules and consequences. Make specific suggestions, such as setting family rules and, if the rules are broken, appropriate non-violent punishments, such as limiting certain privileges.

Listen to the mother's point of view. Give her the opportunity to express her views and understand why she chooses to use corporal punishment. This will help you better understand her position and find a solution together.

It is crucial to emphasise the significance of positive education. Make it clear to your mother that positive education methods, such as building trust, promoting communication and developing the child's self-control, are beneficial.

Seek external support. If you feel you cannot communicate effectively with your mother, get help from someone who can, such as a school teacher, relative, or professional counselor.

Be patient and persistent. Change takes time, and your mother may need time to accept new ideas and methods. Be patient and persistent in the process and continue to communicate your feelings and needs with her.

Communication is a two-way process that requires effort and understanding from both sides. Follow the above suggestions to establish a healthier communication style with your mother and work together to find solutions to problems.

Good day, inquiring party.

You were physically punished by your mother for making a mistake when you were in junior high school. When your friend found out, he laughed at you. You learned that most junior high school students are not physically punished by their parents. You felt embarrassed in front of your friend, experiencing a heightened sense of discomfort. You were already in physical pain, and now it's even harder emotionally.

Fortunately, you came here in time to ask a question. I am unsure how you found out about this platform, but I believe it is not widely known among junior high school students. However, I believe you are a highly capable student. Despite the ridicule of your peers, I believe they are genuinely good friends, and you are quite sociable and knowledgeable. You appear to be able to find everything you need on this platform, so I must commend you for your initiative.

Your objective is to learn how to decline your mother's requests in a firm but respectful manner. Being physically assaulted by your mother is a form of public embarrassment. While the embarrassment may seem trivial, the pain and distress caused to your mother is a significant issue. Therefore, it is advisable to negotiate with your mother in a calm and assertive manner instead of resorting to physical violence.

It is important to note that negotiating with your mother may present certain challenges. She may believe that this approach is the most effective, potentially influenced by her upbringing and the belief that children learn from mistakes. Alternatively, you may have made more mistakes, leading her to believe that punishment is necessary to ensure future compliance. These dynamics must be carefully assessed on a case-by-case basis.

You can find a platform here. As the saying goes in psychology, those who are suffering seek help and change. You have come here for help because you are experiencing pain. Therefore, it is easier to change yourself than to communicate with your mother.

I believe this is the case because we are students, learning a variety of knowledge. It is evident that your mother is experiencing distress, and we have come here to seek assistance. I imagine it must be particularly challenging for your mother to witness your current behaviour. I am uncertain if she is aware of your decision to seek help. There is a well-known psychological concept that self-awareness is the first step towards change. You have acknowledged that you have made a mistake and been punished by your mother, which is an example of self-awareness. With such awareness, I am confident that you will identify ways to avoid future mistakes. If you do make a mistake, you will be able to think of alternative solutions and take action to relieve your mother's distress.

Indeed, your objective was to ascertain how to navigate potential conflicts in the future. Is this not the beginning of a transformative process?

You have had the opportunity to review the methods presented by the experts. I am confident that you, as a highly motivated learner, will be able to identify a set of methods that are well-suited for you and your mother to communicate.

There is a common saying that there are always more solutions than there are problems. As long as you are willing to explore different options, you can always find more than three ways to solve a problem when it arises. I will now present three potential solutions.

Firstly, in the event of a mistake, it is advisable to proactively inform your mother of the situation without delay. Secondly, it is essential to determine the most appropriate course of action to rectify the issue. This approach may help to mitigate any potential anger and prevent future instances of physical abuse.

Secondly, it is advisable to engage in more frequent communication with your mother to gradually address the underlying issues. Given your current age and stage of development, it is understandable that you may occasionally exhibit behavior that causes your mother distress, particularly during the tumultuous period of puberty. It is crucial to allow your mother to gain a deeper understanding of your true nature, including your inherent kindness and ability to get along well with her. This will not only facilitate more constructive interactions but also enable your mother to more effectively manage her emotions when you make a mistake.

Thirdly, in the event of an impulse, it is advisable to avoid confrontation with your mother when her emotions are running high. It may be more prudent to disengage from the situation and seek an opportunity to regroup. After a brief period, it is likely that your mother will have regained her composure, and the intensity of her emotions will have diminished.

I would like to suggest one additional strategy. When a conflict arises, you can ask someone you trust to persuade your mother or identify her weak points. You can then leverage this information to influence her behavior.

If you are determined to resolve this issue, utilize your resources, and persevere, you will undoubtedly achieve a favorable outcome. If I may propose an alternative scenario, in which you still experience physical abuse, an umbrella can serve as a metaphorical shield, protecting our hearts from harm. Our mother's capacity to inflict physical harm suggests she is young and healthy. Can you recall an instance of an ancient filial son who was distressed because his mother could no longer discipline him?

I believe that if you utilize your strengths, this situation can be avoided. However, before that can happen, there is a challenging phase that must be navigated. After that, you will still need to employ this method to ensure a seamless transition.

I am confident that you can leverage your own wisdom to enhance your relationship with your mother and avoid any physical altercations that might cause her distress.

I encourage you to persevere. The world and I support you.

Hello, questioner! I am a Heart Explorer coach. Tell me, are you proud and uninhibited?

I have carefully read the problems and confusions you described on the platform. It is clear that you are having problems getting along with your parents. You said you made a few mistakes and were beaten by your mother. After your friends found out, they laughed at you for still being beaten by your parents at such a young age. You later realized that many of your classmates had not been spanked after entering junior high school. You are too old to be spanked anymore, and it's embarrassing. You need to tell your mother this.

It's true that parents don't scold their children much when they grow up. They've grown up and know right from wrong. It's embarrassing to be seen being scolded by your parents. You've noticed this too. Have a good talk with your parents. Ask them not to scold you so easily. Consider your feelings a little.

I'm going to give you some analysis and sorting out.

1. Stay calm.

It's normal to make mistakes. Every child makes mistakes. It's just that junior high is when self-esteem is strongest. The best state is not to physically punish children. Don't hit, scold, or punish them at the slightest provocation. If a child makes a mistake, parents shouldn't hit them on the spur of the moment. This kind of punishment is often counterproductive. It's better to tell your parents to control their emotions and not scold the child.

2. Punish children correctly.

When problems arise, parents should not dwell excessively on minor mistakes made by their children. They can try indirect methods to educate and guide their children, rather than the simple and rude ones, such as giving them a wink, or physical contact, shortening the time they play, etc., to make them learn a lesson. You can also tell your child the true feelings of dissatisfaction inside, and say to your child, "I am very disappointed in what you did!" "I am really sad now!" "Can you not do that?"

You can calm your mood and make the child think from another person's perspective and reflect on yourself.

3. Teach your child not to be emotional.

If you are angry and the child still does what they want and won't listen to reason, you must calm yourself down and respond calmly. If you lose control and scold the child, they will not realize their mistake and will feel hurt inside, making things worse. This approach is certainly not advisable, so you must control your emotions.

4. Guiding and encouraging education is the best way to educate children.

It is a mistake to only punish children and never praise them. There are many benefits to being praised, and children also look forward to being praised by their parents. Many experts nowadays advocate encouraging education. When parents praise their children for a good deed, the children will continue to exhibit good behavior. This is better than scolding and punishing. Every time parents praise and commend their children, the children can once again exhibit the behavior that the parents think is good. The method of educating children is very important. Parents should read more books on this topic or discuss and exchange ideas together. In short, parents should stop advocating scolding and punishing.

I am confident that my answer is helpful. If you require further communication, you can follow me (click on my personal page), select the Heart Exploration service, and communicate with me directly. The world and I love you.

Good morning, my name is Yu, I am a Heart Exploration coach, and I would like to discuss this topic with you.

First, we must address the issue of mistakes. It is important to understand that mistakes are an inherent part of the growth process. If we are not allowed to make mistakes, or are discouraged from doing so, it can have a detrimental impact on our physical and mental well-being.

It is preferable to identify and address mistakes at an early stage, as they tend to have less severe consequences when we are still students. This allows us to seek guidance and correction promptly, enabling us to address and resolve them collaboratively. Additionally, we can learn from the experience and apply the lessons immediately.

However, the original poster indicated that she was physically punished by her mother for making a minor mistake, so let's continue the discussion.

We can inquire of ourselves whether we consistently commit the same infraction each time we receive a disciplinary action, or whether we are invariably subjected to such action each time we err.

Additionally, we can inquire of ourselves whether we proactively acknowledge our missteps with our mothers each time we err.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to consider whether the punishment will facilitate learning.

However, awareness is the first step in effecting change. It is important to recognize whether timely corrective action has been taken following a mistake. While it is not problematic to make a mistake initially, continuing to make the same mistake without recognizing it is problematic.

It is important to have an open and honest dialogue with our mothers. We should be able to tell them that we have matured and are able to recognize our mistakes. We should also be transparent about our efforts to correct and avoid repeating these mistakes. We hope that our mothers will be willing to listen and help us identify the underlying causes of our mistakes through analysis. This will help us avoid making the same mistakes again. It is also essential to be prepared for both positive and negative outcomes. If our mothers accept us, we will feel happy. However, if they are unable to accept us, we should not be discouraged. Instead, we should focus on demonstrating our growth and progress through our actions. We should also look for an opportunity to communicate with our mothers again in the future when the time is right.

Next, we will discuss the importance of setting and respecting boundaries. It is essential to understand the boundaries of others and to establish your own. These boundaries help to distinguish you from others.

It is not necessary to accept everything about each other when interacting with classmates. It is sufficient to accept the parts of each other that make us comfortable. Similarly, it is unreasonable to expect classmates to buy into all of our demands. Attempting to find common ground in a mutually suitable area is a viable approach. The differences between people determine that the overlapping parts of us and other classmates are not the same, and this is also the boundary of our interpersonal relationships.

Ultimately, it is essential to love yourself. Negative emotions undoubtedly impact one's life, yet the questioner promptly identified their emotions and possesses well-defined values. Therefore, it is crucial to prioritize self-care, including physical and emotional well-being.

It is also possible to seek assistance. Given the nature of the issue, it is understandable that it may be challenging to overcome it immediately. It is recommended to identify a family member or friend who can provide positive support and guidance. Should the need arise, it is also possible to seek the help of a counselor, as emotions often require an outlet to relieve the associated distress.

From a psychological perspective, seeing is healing. I am confident that you will continue to improve. I wish you success in your studies and good health.

Good day, question asker.

It would be beneficial to share a warm embrace.

The subject's confusion is evident in his recounting of an incident in which he was beaten by his mother. His friends observed him fidgeting and inquired about the cause of his distress. In response, the subject revealed that he had been beaten. His friends reacted with disbelief and amusement, prompting the subject to realize that many of his classmates had not experienced corporal punishment since junior high school. The subject's dilemma is twofold: on the one hand, he seeks to avoid further beatings and loss of face, and on the other, he desires to maintain a positive relationship with his mother.

The original poster indicated that you were physically punished by your mother. This suggests that you possess a high degree of self-awareness. You discerned that your mother struck you because you had erred and that she did so to rectify the situation. I am intrigued: did you truly engage in an action that caused your mother profound sadness and disappointment?

The underlying motivation behind the hurtful action is love.

The depth of love is reflected in the extent of planning for the future. When someone loves you very much, they will plan for your future. What was the cause of the misbehavior? Your mother is strict, which means she wants you to have a better future. When your mother is unable to care for you, you can care for yourself. Therefore, your mother used the method of corporal punishment to make you realize that in order to survive in society, you cannot engage in wrongdoing without consequence, and it may result in regret for the rest of your life.

Let us now turn our attention to the subject of communication with one's mother. It is a verifiable fact that, in the case of children who have reached the age of junior high school, a significant proportion of parents have ceased to resort to physical punishment as a means of disciplining their offspring. However, this does not necessarily imply that such children are no longer in need of disciplinary action.

It is also possible that this action did not cause significant distress to the mother, but rather that she has become accustomed to disciplining her son in this manner. In order to gain her respect, it is essential to communicate effectively with her. It can be assumed that a positive relationship between mother and son will develop over time.

That will conclude today's session. I extend my best wishes to you and the world at large.