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Are they criticizing you with ill intent, or do they genuinely mean well with their suggestions?

Male friend Appearance critique Dressing style Direct communication Friendship dynamics
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Are they criticizing you with ill intent, or do they genuinely mean well with their suggestions? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

A male friend of mine saw me and said I looked like an old lady, and then he directly suggested I change my style of dressing... Is this person treating me as a friend by straightforwardly expressing his true thoughts?

Byron Oliver Gregory Byron Oliver Gregory A total of 611 people have been helped

Hello, question asker!

It's clear that the questioner has some reservations about this male friend's communication style. It's natural to wonder if he's genuinely trying to help or if there's something more to the situation. This has led to some confusion, which is totally understandable!

✅ Why is he so outspoken?

It might have something to do with his personality. People with an extroverted personality tend to speak more directly and frankly. They like to interact with people, which makes them feel energetic.

Introverts often speak tactfully and care about the impact of their words on others. Of course, personality is only one aspect, and emotional intelligence, experience, culture, etc. also affect the way a person speaks. You can analyze his usual interactions with you to see if he often treats others this way. It's possible that you may not realize that this "blunt" way of speaking has inadvertently hurt others, but you can work on it together!

✅ How do you feel about the way you dress?

It's so important to remember that what others say about you is based on their own ideas and opinions. They don't know you like they do! So, don't worry about what others say, just feel comfortable with what you like.

If you're feeling a little unsure about your own style, don't worry! You can learn more about matching knowledge and find a style that suits you, that you like, and that you're comfortable with. This will help you look and feel your best!

✅How can you get along with such a friend?

As a friend, you might try to understand him. There's no ill intent, it's just that the way he speaks is hard for you to accept. Then you need to tell him how you feel. This can help you both work through it and improve things next time. It's also a great way to guide and advise your friend, helping him improve his communication skills.

If you feel like it's just not right for someone you care about to treat you this way, it might be time to think about whether this person meets your standards for friendship. Think about what it means to you to have this person in your life. Then, you can decide if you want to stay friends (maybe as casual friends or just as classmates or colleagues).

I really hope these thoughts can help you, my friend. Sending you lots of love ?

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Leo Knight Leo Knight A total of 2291 people have been helped

Greetings! I extend to you a gesture of affection and support from a distance.

The pain caused by his words is palpable, evoking a profound sense of disrespect and rejection.

From your expressed desire for assistance, it is evident that you attach significant value to his evaluation. Concurrently, you may also perceive the detrimental impact of his impetuous remarks on your physical and mental well-being, evoking a profound sense of disrespect, incomprehension, rejection, disdain, negation, and rejection.

It is evident that you experienced distress as a result of his remarks. However, you did not opt to express your genuine emotions in a forthright and courageous manner at that particular juncture. What are the underlying factors that prompted you to suppress and conceal your authentic sentiments? For instance, you may be apprehensive about being rejected. You may crave acceptance, comprehension, and esteem.

It is imperative to recognize that the assertion made by the individual in question does not necessarily reflect an accurate portrayal of your true identity. It is essential to prioritize your own self-assurance and satisfaction. The utilization of such disparaging language to describe you is indicative of his internal struggles with inferiority and self-confidence, as well as his own lack of acceptance. His actions were driven by a need to protect himself from rejection and emotional distress, which manifested as a form of indirect aggression directed towards you.

Indeed, the reason for your preoccupation with his assessment is indicative of an underlying sense of inferiority and self-doubt, as well as a lack of self-acceptance. When an individual is able to embrace their inherent worth from a place of self-assurance and clarity, they become less susceptible to external influences and opinions.

My name is Lily, and I am the young woman who facilitated the question-and-answer session at the Q&A Pavilion. I extend my love and admiration to you all.

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Comments

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Freddie Jackson To cherish honesty is to cherish the bonds of human connection.

This kind of comment can feel hurtful, even if meant as honesty. Friends should be supportive and considerate with their words.

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Zoey Lily The essence of growth is to see the growth that comes from being more intentional about our growth journey.

Perhaps he thinks he's helping but suggesting such a change so bluntly isn't respectful or considerate of your feelings.

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Uriah Davis A hard - working spirit is a spirit that is always ascending.

It's important to have friends who give honest feedback, but it needs to be delivered kindly. His approach lacks sensitivity.

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Diogenes Davis The measure of a man is what he does with his time.

I wonder if he realizes how his words might come across. It's not always about the intention but the impact on the person receiving the comment.

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Isidore Miller Industriousness is the brush that sweeps away the dust of setbacks.

Sometimes people mask criticism as being straightforward. A true friend would offer advice in a way that uplifts rather than potentially harms.

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