As a freshman, university life is not easy, and you feel lonely?

Hello, questioner!

You've just started your first year of university and are living in a dorm for the first time, in an eight-person room. The new environment, new relationships, and discomfort make you feel lonely inside. How should you deal with it?

Let's work this out together.

Dorm living is all about sharing a space with other people. When you're in a small space with eight people who have different living habits, it's only natural that there will be some conflicts.

How well everyone gets along depends on how well each individual has been socialized. Socialization is about following certain rules of conduct and having a routine. If everyone can act according to these standards and consider the feelings of others, then the relationship will be more harmonious.

In addition to the rules and regulations required by the school, we can create a code of conduct specific to the dormitory to supplement the rules. For example, we can address smoking.

Since only a few students smoke, and secondhand smoke is worse for you, the rest of us can work together to ask the smoker to go outside to smoke. If you're still awake after lights out, try not to make noise so you don't disturb the others.

However, some students may still have trouble controlling themselves. This is where we need to encourage each other and set clear boundaries.

For instance, if a classmate smokes in the dorm, you can kindly ask him to go outside to smoke. It's important to communicate your needs.

College is a great change from high school, with a lot more freedom and a different routine. The school will also provide lots of clubs for college students to develop their skills. It's a good idea to join some club activities according to your interests and use the chance to build your social skills.

For instance, you could visit the library to borrow books and read them. You could also go for a game of ball sports, for example.

These activities are a great way to make friends with people who share your interests. As you gradually adjust to your new environment, you'll feel less isolated.

University is a smaller version of society, and it's a time when students learn to adapt to society. This includes responsibilities, abilities, and social interactions, as well as learning how to get along with others and how to be alone without feeling lonely. People can adapt to their environment very well. As long as we don't give up and learn through practice, we will adapt to university life and, after graduation, to social life.

In this regard, we can learn from books on interpersonal skills, such as "Nonviolent Communication" and "Living a Life of Blossoming." You'll make faster progress if you learn and apply at the same time.

I hope this is helpful.

Best regards!

Hello! I'm Warm-hearted Girl 1219, and I'm happy to answer your question about Yi Xinli.

You're not happy in your college dorm. You have three smokers and one loudspeaker. These behaviors impact you negatively.

I have four suggestions for you:

Get along with your roommates.

The university dorm is where you'll live for four years. Get along with your roommates to have a good time.

Roommates have different personalities, hobbies, and habits. Not everyone can be friends, so we need to understand each other.

Your roommates smoke and talk loudly. You can't change this. If you don't like it, you can tell them.

You can't force them to change.

2. Appreciate your current friends.

☀️At least one of your roommates is a good friend. You can chat with him when you are unhappy.

It's hard to find a friend who's truly there for you at university. Don't worry about who makes the first move.

A friend told me you have to be proactive with friends or you'll drift apart.

3. Don't limit yourself to your dorm room. Go out and see the bigger picture.

If you have trouble with your roommate, join a club.

Before I went to university, a friend from high school told me to join more clubs and interact with more people to become more outgoing.

Clubs and other organizations let you meet like-minded people to improve together. This is helpful when looking for a job.

When you have more friends, you won't care about little things like your roommate smoking and being loud.

You can also let your good friends join your club.

If you need help, you can ask your friends.

☀️You can also encourage your roommates to join a club. This will improve your relationship.

4. Go to the library when you feel lonely.

University is important. Studying should be your top priority. Only by studying hard can you make progress every day.

Everyone gets lonely, even when people are around.

Learning to be alone is the best way to grow. You can only think for yourself when you're alone.

Don't be afraid of loneliness. Go to the library and read!

Reading is how we progress as humans. Books can make our minds and horizons wider.

When you learn a lot, you will feel happy.

I hope this helps!

Good luck! Study hard!

I hope you have a happy university experience.

Enjoy your hard work!

Hello, question asker!

Going to college and living in a dormitory with eight people for the first time, probably also far away from home, these two situations intertwined, make you a little bit uncomfortable. I understand your feelings very well, so I hug you! You will get through this.

This is your first time living in a community of 100 people, and it's clear that everyone has a different personality. You mentioned that there are three smokers in your dormitory, which is true. However, it's important to note that for girls, smoking is not a common habit. Your dormitory accounts for three of them, which is a significant number. You're not used to this situation and feel a bit restricted. This is normal.

You've just started university, so you haven't lived there long, you don't know each other well, and everyone has different habits. Be patient with him in this situation. Don't say much because it's someone else's habits. If you can't stand it, keep your opinions to yourself. I'm sure you'll do the same.

I'm grateful you said having a roommate is beneficial. I don't believe it's essential to make numerous friends; having one reliable friend is sufficient. Having a good friend doesn't eliminate feelings of loneliness. Everyone experiences it, even if they stand out in a crowd, they also have lonely moments. It's normal to feel this way, especially in this new environment.

It's normal to feel lonely and to want to cry. There's no need to beat yourself up over it. If you do, it will only add to the pressure, and that's not a very appropriate way to cope.

You said you were very talkative in high school, and I believe you. You will return to the original you after going through this difficult stage. It is the most important period of adaptation because you have entered a new environment with new friends. Just hang in there. You will change in no time.

You can change. When you notice a problem, you are aware of it in time and then go to a platform like this to ask for help scientifically. This proves how you can make good use of resources to find your own correct solution. You have the potential to make your life in college more fulfilling.

Believe in yourself. You will be happy on a university campus. We must graduate with honors. Then, we will bring our value to the fore. We will no longer feel apologetic about our parents spending money on us.

Work hard. It's your prime time. Enjoy the colorful college life to the fullest!

The world and I love you!

Hello!

Before you started university, you probably had some pretty big ideas about what it would be like. When you actually get there, though, you'll find that a lot of things are different from what you imagined. The environment and the people you meet will all pose some challenges, and you'll need to adapt again. This stage may bring you some uncomfortable experiences, such as depression, loneliness, feeling out of place, and insecurity. But you'll also see that you are still full of enthusiasm for your new life and are willing to work hard and strive to improve.

It's so important to prepare yourself mentally and accept your emotions and state of mind.

It's totally normal to feel a bit out of your comfort zone when you're facing a new environment, especially if it's your first time living away from home and in a dorm with a bunch of new people. You'll have to learn how to take care of a lot of things on your own, and it's really important to try to get along with your roommates and get used to each other. It's totally normal to feel a bit lonely or depressed at first, but these feelings are nothing to be ashamed of. They're just part of the process of adapting to a new environment. Give yourself a lot of love and acceptance, and don't be too hard on yourself. While accepting yourself, you'll also have the strength to adapt emotionally, and you'll find that you don't want to deal with it by escaping.

It's so important to learn to put yourself in other people's shoes and be more tolerant.

Living in a university dorm is all about learning to get along with others. It's important to be tolerant of your roommates' different habits and preferences. For instance, if you don't smoke but your roommates do, it's okay to have your own habits. What's important is that you're respectful of your roommates' choices and can accept their differences.

When we can all learn to put ourselves in other people's shoes and be tolerant of others, we can create a truly harmonious environment. We can't force others to change, but we can do our best to set a positive example and create an atmosphere of mutual tolerance and care.

It's so important to try to express yourself and learn communication skills!

I agree! Living with roommates in a dormitory, there are so many factors that influence each other, and it's totally normal for there to be some bumps along the way. When you're navigating these minor conflicts, it's really important to first establish your own principles for getting along with others. Just remember, you don't have to violate your own principles to be tolerant and caring towards others. And, of course, you don't have to completely sacrifice yourself to gain interpersonal relationships. It's okay to set boundaries and maintain your bottom line. And, communication skills are super important here!

Let's say your roommate is smoking in the dorm and it's not your thing. You can talk to them about it, suggest some solutions, and even make a few rules together. When you're talking, try to stay calm and keep your tone even. Be patient and don't take it personally. You can also chat with other students about the school rules.

It's a great idea to plan your life and studies well, and to expand your living space and your circle of friends!

College is a great time to explore your interests and discover new passions. It's a wonderful opportunity to balance your studies with part-time work or club activities that ignite your curiosity. When you nurture your interests and turn them into strengths, you're not only creating a richer life for yourself but also expanding your social circle. You'll meet people who share your interests, develop a broader network of friends, and gain a deeper understanding of the world around you. It's a journey that makes you more open-minded and tolerant. Embrace it!

You can start now to connect your university life with your future career and life plan. This will help you prepare for the future in a way that's right for you!

The university days are truly beautiful, but they do go by so fast! Many people don't realize how precious time is until they're at the end of their studies. Make the most of it! Cherish every moment and make the most of your time at university to make your life more fulfilling. This richness and fullness can help you slowly open up.

Give yourself plenty of time to adjust.

It's totally normal to take a little while to adjust to a new environment. Give yourself the time you need to feel at home.

I really hope that Hongyu's reply helps you out! Thanks so much for your question!

Hello. I can see you're annoyed, upset, and confused.

As a freshman, you're unhappy with your dorm room, your roommate, and their habits.

You feel lonely and want to fit in, but you're hesitant.

It's normal to feel uncomfortable when you first arrive at college and meet new people. Don't worry or doubt yourself.

You've already started thinking about how to make changes, which is good.

Pain comes from not being accepted.

University life is not easy. You are unhappy with your new environment and even think about not continuing your studies.

You feel lonely and like people don't like you. You can't fit in with the group.

You feel annoyed and bored because everything around you doesn't meet your standards.

Maybe it's not that your roommates dislike or alienate you.

You have never liked all the people and things around you.

You may have had a critical caregiver when you were young. You may have continued this pattern with others.

Let go of your judgment. The world doesn't change based on our thoughts.

Everyone has the right to make their own choices. There's no need to deny or distance ourselves from someone just because they smoke.

If smoking affects you, talk to the smoker to find a solution that suits both of you.

Are you ready to change?

You want to make changes, but you're making excuses.

Maybe you're not ready to change or don't know how.

Follow your feelings.

Try to understand and accept everything around you. Don't judge or blame anyone or anything.

Everyone is different. There's no need to demand that everyone like you or try to fit in.

It's normal to be an outsider. Don't cater to anyone. Do what you should do. If you bloom, the butterflies will come.

Make choices from your own perspective.

Life is your own, and you're responsible for it.

Think for yourself and don't let your parents' ideas make things difficult for you.

Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own lives.

Best wishes!