At 31, should I use my parents' hard-earned money to go to graduate school? Shouldn't I be working pragmatically?

Good morning, My name is Yang Quanlì, and I am a listening coach. Thank you for your question.

From your statements, I can discern feelings of helplessness, frustration, and confusion.

It is commendable to plan to continue to improve your education after graduating from school. This demonstrates motivation and a willingness to work hard, which are valuable qualities in any professional setting.

From your statements, I can discern that you have a range of emotions. You experienced significant changes in your family during your formative years, and I understand that these have had a profound impact on you. You are driven to alter your circumstances and address the aspects of your life that do not align with your preferences. It is possible that, at this time, you have not yet identified a more effective approach to achieve this.

You are at a relatively mature age. As we all know, our parents and significant others provide us with psychological nourishment during childhood. After growing up, especially after the age of 25, we can provide our own psychological nourishment. The divorce of your parents is a change in their relationship, and it has nothing to do with you. You are still you, and you don't need to blame yourself.

There are numerous avenues for enhancing one's qualifications. The first step is to ascertain the underlying motivation for pursuing this goal. Is there an immediate need to achieve it, or is there an opportunity to plan a more gradual approach?

Please indicate whether you are currently employed or pursuing full-time studies. Which of these options will have the least impact on your current lifestyle?

What are the positive aspects? It is important to understand the motivation behind your decision to ensure that you are making an informed choice.

Regardless of your decision, it is essential to ensure that you can live with it. I can personally attest to this, as I also faced the challenge of taking the postgraduate entrance exam.

Once the objective and rationale have been established, it is crucial to define it in concrete terms and ensure its feasibility and implementability. Enhancing one's education is a strategic move towards a more promising future.

Regardless of circumstances, we have all matured, moved on from the past, reconciled with it, embraced the present, and learned to find happiness within ourselves. The world and I support you in this endeavor.

Dear Sir/Madam, It is uncommon for a question asker to provide such a comprehensive account of their upbringing in order to pose a query. It is therefore reasonable to assume that the question asker either possesses a profound understanding of psychological counselling or is a highly trained professional who was proficient in reporting to their superiors. However, there are two significant inconsistencies in the question asker's description:

The individual in question is working hard in a major urban center, and there is a notable discrepancy between information technology operations and sales. However, the individual is competent and performing well in sales. He is undoubtedly a courageous and straightforward person in the workplace. He relocated to his hometown and obtained employment, but he did not remain in the position for an extended period. He also mentioned that he has severe social anxiety.

I'm uncertain about the best way to proceed. I had assumed that the ability to communicate effectively and interact with people was essential for success in sales. I'm unsure if your social anxiety was present from the outset or developed later in life.

Secondly, the questioner progressed from a junior college to an adult undergraduate program and then to an MBA graduate program. It was a somewhat circuitous route to academic excellence, but the questioner considers himself to lack the requisite "skill." If "skill" is defined by one's ability to earn a high income, the questioner has already demonstrated it—his sales income is not insignificant.

You are dissatisfied with your upbringing and bitter about your father's decision to attend a junior college instead of a university when you were applying for university. As you mentioned, you feel your father's love for you diminished when he helped you choose a junior college with lower tuition fees. You value your father's love over your academic qualifications. You attribute your academic setbacks to your parents' absence, lack of attention, and unfavorable school culture. The root cause is your parents'. They did not pay sufficient attention to you and, when they did, they steered you towards an unfavorable path, resulting in greater expenses than your peers. Your parents should be held responsible. Even if your father disapproved of your MBA, he should have supported it. Your mother should have used her pension to help you, but she did not. She supported you in your studies, but she lived in the house with you, and you still had to pay the mortgage. Parent-child relationships seem to be a process of debt and repayment.

To maintain a close relationship with your parents, it is essential to demonstrate mutual respect and understanding. This can be achieved by fostering a "symbiotic" relationship, where both parties contribute their unique strengths and values to the relationship. This approach allows you to feel their love and support.

However, you still appreciate your father's efforts, which is why you are reluctant to pursue graduate studies. Even if you do relocate to the provinces to obtain an MBA, you intend to return to provide support for your mother. You also recognize the importance of making your own decisions and accepting the consequences. This is an invaluable quality that will contribute to your growth.

Obtaining a master's degree does not guarantee an improved quality of life in the future. Conversely, not pursuing a master's degree does not necessarily indicate a lack of value in one's life. Just as financial investment from a parent is not a prerequisite for demonstrating love, one's character, independence, and integrity are intrinsic factors that contribute to a fulfilling life. Just as familial ties influence a parent's instinct to love their child, there is no need to seek external validation.

Ultimately, I am not in a position to offer you advice. The answer you seek is within your own heart. Best regards,

Hello, Thank you for sharing your concerns. You mentioned your past experience of studying and the support your parents gave you. You also mentioned that you want to apply to graduate school, but you are unsure.

You're still torn, so I give you a hug. First, release your emotions. Second, be less torn and more certain.

Studying is important, but so are other skills and professions. What's more important is a person's conscientiousness, sincerity, and kindness. This is something to think about.

Further studies are good, but a high degree doesn't guarantee a good job. Having a high degree doesn't mean you'll have a good job. A degree doesn't directly lead to future success.

Finally, I want to talk about how you should think about your future.

All of these are not problems. The key is to have an attitude of enthusiasm for life, to believe in yourself, to be able to control everything, to love yourself and also to love others. That is, we cherish our lives and every opportunity, and we have a happy life every day. On this premise, no matter what decision you make, I believe that it is the best for you.

Take care of yourself first, then make a decision. You won't regret it either way.

Good luck! We'll be in touch if you have any questions.

Hello, friend who is about to complete your graduate studies! You've come so far, and I know you can do it. Completing your goals and dreams is an important step if you want to continue your graduate studies. This will benefit you and your family in the future. You have two options: use your parents' money or go to work. I know it can be tough, but using your parents' money is a great way to reduce their burden. And don't forget to exercise your independence by trying to earn your own money as much as possible!

We're all adults here, and we can all do some part-time work. It's important to be thrifty and frugal, and we can all agree that the money we earn can be put to good use. We all know that it's not easy to live on a budget, and there are times when it gets tough. So, it's best to save first and foremost. I'm sure all teachers will understand and support this. Not only will it ease the pressure on your parents, but it will also give you more motivation. And isn't this the perfect way to find a job and live in the future? You've probably faced some tough challenges, but don't let them get you down. It's like walking into a ball of string and not being able to get out. We just need to grit our teeth and persevere, so that we can exercise our ability to live independently. We've already gone through primary school to university, and we must never give up.

I think it's a great idea! It doesn't affect your studies and you don't need money from your parents, right?

The most important thing is to complete your studies. It's all about setting priorities, and it's not a problem at all! But we all know how easy it is to get a little sidetracked sometimes.

In a nutshell, your studies should always come first, and earning money is a great way to support yourself while you're studying.

I don't find it difficult to work part-time while studying for a master's degree. When I was in college, I also did some part-time work, and I think it's a great idea if you can go on to graduate school! You'll be able to show off your amazing academic performance. We can also do tutoring. These are all very practical and stable sources of income. If you want more living expenses, you can make money through these channels.

I'm a member of the post-80s generation. I had a really tough time going to school. I didn't have a father, and only my mother worked to help support me. We didn't rely on any financial support from relatives because they never intended to look after me in life and only thought that I would amount to nothing. My grandfather didn't give me a single penny, and I won't even mention my uncles and great-uncles. They were quite well off and wanted to look down on others. If my father were still alive, my family would be even better off than this. As for relatives, I haven't contacted them in years. I'm not sure if you're wondering how I managed, but I'm happy to share!

My dear friends, if you're facing financial challenges and need help with college costs, you have the power to earn it yourself. We all have the ability to make money, and we can also train ourselves to adapt to society ahead of time. If we go to college and our family's financial situation is not good, we can rely on our own abilities to reduce the burden on our parents.

And guess what? We can also learn a lot of knowledge in the process of part-time work, which is also of great benefit to our rapid growth! We can even earn living expenses with these specialties.

Parents are our biggest supporters. Even though our families aren't complete, that's something our parents had to deal with. We just need to look forward to a brighter future! I know that friends are facing some tough challenges right now. Currently, I'm not in a position to help, but if you could come to me for a year, I'd love to support you. Let's work hard to earn money for ourselves, for our parents, and for a happy life. Let's push ourselves and not fall behind!

Our parents are the most important people in our lives, and we're so lucky to have them! They look after us, help us grow up, and make sure we live happy, carefree lives. They're also there for us when we're facing difficulties, and they're always there to welcome us back to a happy life when we've overcome the storm. I believe that good friends will help us overcome all this, and they'll welcome us back to a beautiful, happy life when we've faced our challenges. With the right conditions, we can become outstanding people in the future!

High school is long gone, and we're re-exploring the future together! The direction you choose to develop yourself after the age of 30 and the strength you continue to exert are also choices that a person must make. The road ahead is still long, but it'll be worth it! Choose the right direction and continue to exert yourself, and there will still be many opportunities for success in the future.

Greetings!

After reading your detailed description, it is evident that you are experiencing difficulty in reconciling your personal aspirations with the challenges of reality. It would appear that you are uncertain about the optimal course of action.

In order to gain a clearer understanding of these two conflicts and their implications for oneself, it would be beneficial to engage in a collaborative process of sorting through the complexities involved.

One can only make a choice when one has a clear understanding of the factors that are most important to them.

1. Your education is your primary source of regret. You have unfinished aspirations and events that you must address if you are unable to make amends.

For a variety of reasons, you did not study with sufficient rigor to achieve the grades you needed to attend a four-year college. Consequently, you were compelled to attend a junior college, which you are reluctant to accept.

The aforementioned regrets and remorse are primarily manifested in the following points:

1. Attending the third year of junior high school in one's hometown without parental supervision and engaging in unproductive behavior resulted in an unsatisfactory performance on the middle school entrance exam, which has caused significant remorse.

2. For three years of high school, I was in the lowest-performing class in the entire school, allowing myself to be carried along with the prevailing currents and squandering three years of potential. I contemplated making a more strenuous effort, but ultimately did not take action. I may have a sense of helplessness and powerlessness.

3. Subsequent to the college entrance examination, it was possible that you might have attended a third-tier university; however, your father was of a different opinion and selected a junior college for you. You believe that the issue is not the major, but rather your father's apparent lack of affection for you. It is possible that the loss of your education and your father's love are the aspects you are most concerned about.

The current situation presents an opportunity to address past regrets regarding one's education. Simultaneously, there may be a desire for one's father to provide financial support and cover tuition fees as a demonstration of paternal love.

Should you succeed in achieving both, your educational level will be enhanced, your aspiration fulfilled, and your resentment towards your father may be assuaged.

In the event that one does not obtain the desired outcome, there is a possibility that one may subsequently develop a rationale and justification for not striving for it. This could result in a prolonged state of self-pity, accompanied by the tendency to blame one's father.

In order to pursue further studies, it is necessary to overcome an emotional attachment to one's father and an obsession with academic qualifications.

Secondly, it is more straightforward to overcome practical challenges than to address psychological issues. The process of overcoming difficulties is also a process of overcoming psychological barriers.

The following practical difficulties contribute to your hesitancy:

1. In terms of age, the individual is approaching the age of 31, and may perceive a lack of time or qualifications as obstacles to pursuing further studies.

2. After many years of employment, you have no savings and are currently unemployed. You have a mortgage to pay and are in a quandary regarding whether to pursue a postgraduate degree or to work. Further education may result in increased stress.

3. Your parents are divorced, and your father has assumed the responsibilities of a stepfamily. He lacks the financial resources to support you in pursuing further studies, and his assistance is limited. If you intend to undertake graduate studies, you are concerned that it will exacerbate the challenges your father is already facing.

4. My mother has a limited retirement income and presents with some psychological issues, which precludes her from providing financial or emotional assistance.

There were numerous challenges, both intrinsic and extrinsic.

The overcoming of difficulties is contingent upon the presence of a robust psychological disposition.

Consequently, overcoming difficulties can be conceptualized as a process of resolving psychological obstacles.

3. Having achieved your aspirations, surmounted adversity, and secured the prerequisites for unimpeded advancement, it is imperative to fortify your psychological fortitude to navigate the future with equanimity.

Should you elect to pursue further studies, a period of one year would be relatively brief.

Your father has indicated his willingness to bear the financial burden of the tuition fees, which are relatively high, but within his means.

Upon graduation, the challenge of securing gainful employment will emerge.

Prior to your employment, you identified the following issues:

These include interpersonal conflicts, weaknesses in character, a missing personality, the eruption of conflicts, a decline in performance, the loss of goals, the dissolution of a relationship, the encountering of a work bottleneck, the deadlocking of interactions with colleagues and leaders, resignation, and quitting without notice.

I have a severe social phobia. During this period at home, I secured employment, but after one day, I realized that I was unable to adapt to the demands of the role. I was so overwhelmed by the prospect of interacting with others that I decided to resign.

Subsequently, should these issues remain unresolved from a psychological perspective, they may resurface in the future.

Those who prioritize psychological well-being while pursuing their master's degree are more likely to attain both academic success and psychological well-being upon graduation. This achievement marks a significant transition in one's life, often accompanied by a renewed sense of purpose and resilience.

Should one ultimately elect to forego graduate school and continue working, it would be prudent to prioritize psychological well-being as a means of enhancing one's professional and personal quality of life.

It is my sincere hope that the above response will prove beneficial to you.

My name is Yan Guilai, and I am a practicing psychologist. I hope that your aspirations are realized.

I sense that the questioner is experiencing a significant internal conflict. On the one hand, he values his education and is contemplating taking the postgraduate entrance exam despite his junior college degree. On the other hand, his current financial situation may not be conducive to supporting this decision. Additionally, his age, the mortgage, and the responsibilities of caring for his mother may be contributing factors. It's understandable that the gap between the ideal and the reality of his situation is challenging to navigate. It's not uncommon to face such difficulties when pursuing a long-held aspiration.

There is a popular saying that ideals are full and reality is skinny. This suggests that our ideal life should be very rich and full of satisfaction, but in reality it is very different from what we think. Having an ideal provides a clear sense of purpose and direction, and when you have time to reflect, you can consider how far you are from your ideal. This allows you to examine and understand yourself, identify your strengths and weaknesses, and know where to start. Through continuous efforts, you can gradually achieve your goals. After achieving your goals, your self-confidence will also deepen. Looking back on your hard work and the ups and downs in the process, you will feel that your life is so rich and full of satisfaction.

No matter how good an ideal may be, it is based on real life. Without the support of the basic conditions of real life, it may be challenging to realize an ideal, no matter how good it may be. I can relate to the original poster's situation. At that time, I had to pay off the mortgage and study at the same time. I had to work and study at the same time, so I had to find a job that allowed me to have enough time. However, the salary of such a job was often not very high, so I could only look for it within a limited range.

I was fortunate to have gained a great deal of work experience before I began my studies, which made it relatively easy for me to find a job. While others chose to relax after work, I devoted almost all of my time outside of normal working hours to studying. I persisted with this approach, and gradually acquired more and more knowledge, which equipped me with the skills I needed to pursue my future aspirations.

I believe it would be beneficial for the questioner to gain an understanding of the underlying reasons for their attachment to academic qualifications. Additionally, it may be helpful to take a step back and assess the challenges in your life. Try to identify the most pressing issues and those that can be addressed at a later time.

If you feel you can solve it yourself, then go ahead and do so. If you feel you cannot, it may be helpful to discuss it with your family and see if they can assist you in finding a solution. It can be beneficial to seek help from those close to you when you feel you need it.

In my personal opinion, an MBA is more suited to a management role. Having this qualification may open doors to management positions. It's worth considering whether you're adaptable and interested in working in this industry.

Given the wide range of personalities that exist, it is likely that your ability to adapt to society will also vary. Some individuals may find themselves in high-level positions, while others with MBAs may find that their qualifications are not as immediately valuable as they had hoped.

I can imagine that you are currently facing some challenges, particularly with regards to your mortgage and the cost of living. It is understandable that these are your top priorities. Have you considered the option of selling your house if you are unable to pay off your mortgage? Otherwise, the bank may take possession of the property and it may be sold at auction.

It might be beneficial to consider pursuing software engineering at the outset. This could potentially lead to a relatively straightforward path towards employment upon graduation.

My relative studied software testing at a junior college (the score was not as high as it could have been, but she was able to enroll thanks to her household registration in the city), and graduated in three years. She then participated in a training program that made it relatively easy for her to find a job. She also worked very hard and changed several companies.

Those seeking financial gain may find greater opportunities in computer science.

With a modest investment of time and resources, she could pursue a training program and gain employment as a tester. This is a promising career path that could lead to immediate job opportunities.

My relative found that many of her classmates had bachelor's degrees, even from well-known universities, but that the job prospects for some majors were relatively narrow. This led them to consider a change in career and enroll in this training. After graduation, they were able to pursue a career as a software tester.

The above represents the opinion of one family and is provided for reference only.

After careful review of the original poster's text, it is evident that navigating this journey has presented significant challenges.

The questioner appears to be undecided between the options of utilizing their parents' financial resources for graduate school or pursuing employment to generate income.

Should I pursue postgraduate studies, I currently lack the financial resources to do so. I will likely require financial assistance from my parents, a prospect that causes the questioner considerable concern.

I am 31 years of age and consider myself an adult. I believe I should be independent.

My parents invested significant effort into securing a livelihood.

I am experiencing a sense of guilt for causing my parents to bear the consequences of their past actions. I did not prioritize my studies in junior high and high school, and I accumulated wealth prematurely, but I ultimately paid the price for my vanity.

Furthermore, the original poster raises an important concern regarding the potential long-term implications of their current decision. Will it prove to be a hasty regret, or a prudent choice? If it is a rash regret, it is likely that the original poster will find it challenging to forgive herself, given the numerous other areas of regret she already has.

I am 28 years old, have purchased the only property in my family, and have established a settled lifestyle. I have a monthly mortgage of more than 3,000 yuan, but I have been unemployed for almost three years. In those three years, I have earned an adult undergraduate degree and will graduate next year.

Furthermore, I have applied for graduate school. I regret not studying harder in the past. My current level of education is a source of frustration. I can only apply for an MBA or similar at a junior college. I am determined to study full-time to compensate for my shortcomings.

Regarding graduate school, I applied to a school outside the province. I am unable to leverage the connections from the MBA program. In discussions with my full-time classmates, I have discovered that they are also unemployed.

I am seeking advice on the best way forward.

I must admit that I am somewhat confused. I also have a severe social phobia. I attended for one day but was so overwhelmed by my fear that I was unable to continue.

I am 31 years of age and am faced with the decision of whether to pursue further studies or to enter the workforce. Given my circumstances, I am unsure if I should commit to full-time study or simply seek employment to generate income.

My father is covering the tuition costs, and I took out a student loan to address an immediate financial need. I will complete my studies within a year.

From this, it can be seen that the pursuit of education is the questioner's primary focus, and the tuition fees are not a significant concern. Even if you do not require your father's support, there is also the option of a school loan, and it is only one additional year, which will soon pass. The potential for earning money sooner or later is not a significant issue for one year.

It seems likely that the questioner is not torn between whether or not to spend their parents' money on school, but between whether to go to school or work. The real dilemma may be whether they will be able to find a job after spending a year and a lot of money on an MBA.

If I am unable to secure employment at the conclusion of my studies, I will be forced to explain this to my parents and myself. I am 31 years of age.

I hope my reply will be of assistance to you. Best regards,

Dear question asker, I can perceive the confusion you are currently experiencing. I extend to you my utmost support and encouragement.

The issues you are currently experiencing are related to your personal growth. I extend to you my sincerest support and encouragement.

The current dilemma is whether to utilize the financial resources provided by one's parents to pursue graduate studies or to seek employment. The latter option is arguably more pragmatic.

In light of the fact that you are currently in receipt of a scholarship covering your tuition fees and that you will complete your studies in one year's time, financial considerations should not present a significant obstacle.

Subsequently, you relocated to Shanghai and were employed there for a period of seven years. You encountered interpersonal conflicts and were involved in disagreements with colleagues and superiors, which ultimately resulted in your resignation without notice.

Subsequently, the subject will develop severe social phobia.

It is my assessment that the psychological trauma resulting from your previous employment in Shanghai requires greater attention.

Otherwise, even after completion of the one-year postgraduate program, a significant degree of apprehension regarding the search for employment is likely to persist.

It is, however, important to note that a lack of employment is not a viable long-term solution.

It is therefore evident that addressing the psychological trauma caused by previous work relationships represents a dual solution, both temporary and permanent.

In light of these considerations, what course of action would be most prudent at this juncture?

It is recommended that you seek the assistance of a professional counselor, who can formally address the psychological trauma resulting from your previous work relationships.

The consultant is better positioned to adopt a third-party perspective, maintain a non-judgmental outlook, and adopt an objective attitude, thereby providing the questioner with more pertinent, useful, and constructive advice.

It is my sincere hope that the problem you are currently experiencing can be resolved as soon as possible.

At this juncture, I am only able to offer these suggestions.

It is my sincere hope that my above answer is both helpful and inspiring to you. As the respondent, I endeavor to study assiduously each and every day.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to all our esteemed colleagues and clients.

The world is changing! Academic qualifications are gradually becoming less valuable, opening up new opportunities for graduates and PhDs looking for work. It feels like even the highest academic qualifications are not as good as having a job that suits you. In the past, even a junior college graduate could find a reasonable job and become a civil servant with a stable income.

There are also some "iron rice bowls," which are positions that everyone loves. Nowadays, even a PhD student would be thrilled to get a position as a city management officer, which shows that people are becoming more and more attracted to such positions as "iron rice bowls." You are now faced with such a choice: do you want to continue working or do you want to continue studying for a postgraduate degree?

But if you had already been accepted to graduate school at the time, you must have put in a lot of hard work, so it's understandable if you're having second thoughts. However, graduate school tuition is quite expensive, and it feels like it costs a lot of money for just one year. If you don't feel like going to graduate school, you might have already missed out on the best opportunity. But no matter what choice you make, you'll learn from it and grow as a person.

Even if you choose not to pursue a graduate degree now, you may still feel very sorry for not doing so. But if you choose to pursue a graduate degree now, you'll be ready to face the various anxieties, depressions, and pains of the graduate school experience head-on!

The truth is, we all have a tendency to dwell on the past. But here's the good news: you get to choose how you respond to any given situation. Pursuing a master's degree might not guarantee success, but it's a great way to challenge yourself and grow.

The postgraduate process is full of exciting challenges and opportunities, but it can also be emotionally intense. It's not uncommon for people to feel a bit overwhelmed or down during their postgraduate studies.

So this is something to consider. Your parents are divorced, your father can't help you much, and you always feel bad about your education level. But guess what? You can still make the best of it! There's no way to go back to your senior year of high school and repeat the year, but you can absolutely make this the best year of your life!

You are also aware of your character's weaknesses, personality deficiencies, and various bottlenecks that may cause frustration within you. But you're ready to face them head on!

You also suffer from severe social anxiety, and your mother can't help you much. So you have to toughen up and make decisions for your own life. Finally, I can see that you have a mortgage, which is a lot of pressure. It's better to learn short-term skills to accumulate wealth. The above is for reference only. Everyone's life is up to themselves to decide and take responsibility. No one can know what the future will bring. In short, you have to take your fate into your own hands and hang in there. You can do it!

ZQ?

Hello! I'm Yan Shiqi, and I'm so happy to have this chance to help you with your questions.

After reading your story, I get the feeling that your main aim right now isn't to go on to postgraduate studies, but to find yourself.

Over the years, your parents' relationship has made you feel insecure and deprived of the warmth of a family, which has made you afraid of growing up.

Finding a job is tough, but a junior college degree or an adult undergraduate degree is actually enough to find a good job. Of course, you definitely need to work hard and put in the effort, because there are always better people working harder.

And when all this doesn't go as planned, the questioner wants to escape the pressure and confusion about the future by entering school to study through postgraduate entrance exams.

If you want a good future, there are lots of ways you can make it happen! You just need to work harder and face it bravely.

The questioner should be a hardworking person who knows how to work hard, but sometimes we all need a little courage to face the challenges ahead.

Now, the questioner can think about applying to become a civil servant or a teacher. Then, they can ask themselves if they really want to go to graduate school.

You can think about how your father is feeling and what your family needs, and you should also be a good, respectful child. But if you really want to go, your father will definitely support you.

It would be really helpful for the questioner to think about what kind of life they really want to lead.

Your parents may not have been able to give you a warm home, but it's clear they love you both very much!

Take a deep breath and try to calm down. Think about what kind of future you want. The book Just Do It can help you visualize your future.

So, what's the difference between you now and you in the future?

I know you want to achieve your dreams, but is graduate school really the only way?

Find a job you love and listen to your inner voice.

I've attached my experience below. I also graduated from a junior college, and coincidentally studied Business English. I worked in foreign trade for many years and did quite well!

Guess what! My adult undergraduate degree is also in English, and I'll be receiving my diploma when I turn 30.

Right now, I'm also thinking about going to graduate school. I'd love to study psychology, which is totally in line with my future goals!

But I'll definitely pay my own tuition fees because my dad is no longer around.

It's so great to see that we have so much in common! I would really encourage you to take some time to think about what you truly want for yourself.

I do feel a little sad about these years, though. I wish I'd listened to my dad and got a teaching certificate and more certificates to give myself a stable social status.

I'm sharing it to help the OP avoid making the wrong choice.

I really hope this helps! That's my answer.

I've looked at your growth experience and your current situation, and I think the best thing for you to do is work steadily first, and then talk about further studies. I understand your desire to obtain a high degree. From your growth experience, because of the reasons of your family of origin, you had some confusion during your adolescence, which caused you to take some detours. You didn't study as hard in high school as you could have, and although you worked harder in college, due to the academic system, there were still shortcomings. So when you entered society and the workplace, you suffered from a series of consequences due to inferiority complexes and anxiety.

Even so, I can clearly see your awareness. You have a relatively clear understanding of your situation, whether it is the situation of your parents or the current situation at home. I think you have actually made a choice, and you are just looking for a kind of recognition to bless your choice and justify what you need to give up for the time being. I totally get it!

All ideals are based on economic realities. I don't think a high degree necessarily leads to a high income. There are many so-called returned overseas students, master's degree holders, or doctoral graduates around us. They don't necessarily get a high degree of recognition at work because of their high degree. There are many people who don't study the right subjects. Look at the deliverymen at Meituan, for example. How many of them are master's degree holders? Not everyone can apply what they learn in school. Some people are even only suitable for studying. Once they are in the workplace, they have difficulties communicating with others, and their abilities are not as good as their academic qualifications.

I can see that although your education is not very high, it is sufficient. You were once a sales expert with good results, which shows that you are capable and have no problem communicating with others. This is a basic requirement for survival in society, and you have this ability.

We all have our own unique journey to navigate through life. Sometimes, the challenges we face can be a result of our family of origin. But, the good news is that we can heal these wounds by embracing a stable life, our own inner strength, and by reconciling with our parents and ourselves. So, let's ask ourselves, how many 30-year-olds are there in life?

The years gone by are gone for good, but don't fret! There's always hope for better happiness in the future. You've got this! With a little bit of money, you'll have plenty of time to admire the beautiful moon in the sky.

My dear child, you have already seen your mother's weaknesses and your father's helplessness. You have realized that you want to become strong, and I encourage you to do so. Hard work is the only permanent education. When you have handed in a perfect answer sheet to society's university, all the regrets of your youth will become your wealth.

Hello, I'm Jianlin, a psychological counselor.

Your passion for learning is admirable. I take inspiration from your drive to better yourself.

You have a strong desire to read and get a better diploma, and I admire you for that. First of all, I applaud you.

You are positive and sunny, and you know you are full of confidence and looking forward to the future.

If you want to improve, you need sufficient financial support. You've had some experience, and now you want to learn more. It's only natural that you'd want your family to give you adequate support.

When we ask our parents for something, he doesn't support me in this. And he rejects you for no good reason, which is very frustrating.

At the same time, your father had to support the new family on the meagre income he had left, as well as the entire household expenses and the burden of raising children. In the midst of such conflicts, you felt that your father no longer loved you.

You also analyzed your father's financial situation and the heavy burden he bore. You recognized the need to balance your personal interests with your father's family responsibilities.

You even doubted your father's love for you! When you wanted help and didn't get a satisfactory answer.

Your current situation has caused serious dissatisfaction and ambivalence!

By the time you're 30, you should be able to stand on your own two feet. For a student, this is the beginning of a career. You've gained work experience and worked hard at various jobs.

But then, in the middle of your career, you hit a bottleneck and lose your job! You want to improve your qualifications, but your father says he can't meet your demands in this situation.

Let's look at it from a legal perspective. Parents are only obliged to support their children until they turn 18. In Chinese tradition, they also have to give up financial support for marriage and children.

Obviously, for our path of learning, it is far more than that. We are now thirty and established.

From this perspective, there is absolutely no reason for us to ask our parents for anything. Let's be logical here. My father is just a small self-employed business owner.

He also has to bear responsibility for the future of the family he will later form and the children. Putting aside the fact that the family is being reorganized, he is now responsible for the same things he was at the beginning. So his choice is not wrong.

We must respect and understand his hard work and difficulties, including his refusal to share his innermost feelings with you.

I believe it is particularly difficult. We must understand him even more.

As I said before, at 30, you're supposed to have a career and a family. You're responsible for supporting yourself, your family, your kids, and your parents.

From this perspective, we should not add more burdens to him. When we ask our fathers such questions, it is...

Did you think about it?

As I said before, we must not add to our fathers' burdens. We must solve our practical problems. We are facing various employment and social pressures.

Our expectations are rising, and rightfully so. The higher the diploma and knowledge, the better for our future development! If we work and study at the same time, we should support our studies with the compensation we get from our work and the work itself.

We have to develop and look forward to our future, and we are also responsible for our current lives. We can't just be full-time students like we were as children and teenagers and enjoy the process.

The days of being like this are over. What greets us is more social responsibility.

When we have an idea, we must consider how to solve the problem from our own reality. At the same time, we must understand and tolerate our loved ones from another perspective.

You'll only then realize how precious their love is. How do you feel?

Your father made the decision he thought was right when you sought help for some of the difficulties you encountered at school and at work. You felt a sense of conflict and loss.

We have analyzed our difficulties together and provided suggestions to help you. Thank you!

Dear questioner, I hope you're feeling better now. I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Has your problem been solved?

Let's take a little step back and talk about an old topic: accepting yourself.

You were hurt when your parents remarried. For various reasons, you ended up in a bad class at a bad school. You didn't like the environment, you didn't like the people there, and you couldn't accept it but couldn't escape it either. I know it was tough. I've been there. Your anger and sadness burned you up.

But no one can deny that you are a person who thrives on challenges. Adversity has not brought you despair, but a stronger yearning for a better life. So within your capabilities, you chose Shanghai, sales, and continuous learning and improvement. You even bought a house! You know, you have done a very good job. You have done your best. You are great. You deserve a hug from yourself!

To sum up, adversity has hurt you and made you into the amazing person you are today. You are a beautiful rose that still grows wild with scars, a mountain rat with low self-esteem, and a proud lion.

We can accept ourselves, our environment, and our current situation, and we're here for you if you need a listening ear.

Then, on this basis, figure out what you want, sort out what you can get, and if you can't yet, then how can you get it? All roads lead to Rome, it's just a matter of the length of time and the difficulty of the process.

So, what do you really want? Do you really know? I'm here to help you figure it out!

A diploma? A good job?

Is it being able to easily pay off your mortgage every month, or earning a monthly income of several hundred thousand yuan? Is it financial freedom? Whatever your goal, we're here to support you!

Or could it be inner peace and self-confidence, and harmonious relationships with others? Or perhaps it's being able to reconcile with your father?

Take a moment to think about what you truly want in your heart of hearts.

When we really figure out what we want, we may need to make some trade-offs. It's so easy to just go with the flow and chase after superficial things, ignoring what we really need.

Let's say we've always been chasing after A, but after some analysis, we find that what we really want is B. Do we still want A? Do we keep half or 30%? Do we go after B or just ignore it? Or, do we try to make an effort to see if we can?

This means we get to think and make choices based on our actual situation.

Finally, when we know exactly what we want and how much we want it, all that's left is how to get it. The methodology depends on the situation, and there's no way for us to go into the details.

But one thing I know for sure is that when you figure out what you want and start taking that first step, a wonderful sense of happiness and security will follow. There is nothing better than living according to your heart's desires!

Having problems is totally normal. When problems arise, it's a great chance to figure out what you really want. This is your opportunity to move forward. Seize it, and you'll get closer to yourself. Security is something you give yourself.

I really hope this helps! Also, if your worries have seriously affected your daily life, I suggest seeking professional psychological counseling, which will be more targeted. Best wishes!

Hello, young person, who has been working hard! I admire your determination to improve yourself.

From your limited space, you can feel two things: one is about you. In high school, you were in a class with poor resources, but you never gave up hope. You knew you would find a way to get into a good class and you wanted a good future. You did not have your family's support, but you made it work anyway. You got into a third-tier university and chose your favorite major, English.

However, your father chose a software major for you, even though he thought that a major in English was useless. Nevertheless, you studied hard, and after graduation, you went to Shanghai, where competition is fierce.

You're going to take the postgraduate entrance exam because you want to continue pursuing your dreams. You have the strength inside you to make it happen! I'm rooting for you and giving you a big thumbs-up!

Let's be real. Your father hasn't been there for you. Maybe he has his reasons, or maybe he's just limited by his own horizons. He didn't help you switch classes in high school, didn't unconditionally support you in getting a bachelor's degree, and now that you want to take the postgraduate entrance exam, he's saying it's useless and won't support you!

It's normal for you to be angry with your father and complain about him. He is your father, and children naturally have expectations of their parents. You have every right to feel upset when these expectations are not met!

Let's get back to you personally. You are now 31 years old and can be your own father!

The state has many policies and regulations to support entrepreneurship and learning. If you're determined to go to graduate school or start a business, just do it! It's never too late to start.

You know what? From a psychological point of view, your internal strength is more than sufficient. In this world, there are still many people who are insufficient in this regard. They need to go a long and difficult road to replenish their internal strength before they can set off again.

So, thank yourself and cheer yourself on! You can do this. Just go ahead!