At 32, do you still have the capital to start over?

Dear questioner, I hope this finds you well. I'm not sure how your moderate depression in 2020 has developed, but I hope I can give you some strength and show you more warmth and hope.

From what I know about you, I think you're really brave for quitting your job in 2020. You seem to have a strong inner strength and confidence, which makes you decisive. Your subconscious mind is probably telling you that resigning from your job as a college counselor is the right thing to do and that something suitable will come along in the future.

That's why you're so decisive.

You're a standout, take responsibility for your emotions, and choose to invest time in nurturing them. When you landed your current job as a high school teacher, I believe you've also been very responsible in your work. You're not arrogant and don't view this job through the lens of worldly values, which makes you even more impressive!

As someone who's lived in the south for a while now, I know how it feels to be homesick. But I think your question is more about feeling like you don't belong in this area, especially as a 32-year-old single person without a suitable male development partner around.

I think this problem may be due to the fact that many people think that outstanding young women have high standards. I don't know what your criteria for choosing a spouse are, but you may want to think carefully about your attachment to the north or your hometown, or the main reason why you seem to be hesitant about choosing to live in the north again.

It seems like you're feeling a bit lonely on this side of Zhejiang and you're looking for a sense of belonging. You may think that there are more resources in the north.

Of course, your network in your hometown and your network of friends in the north seem to be more helpful than if you were to rebuild relationships in the south on your own. Then you have to ask yourself if you can accept the help they give you.

And are you willing to accept it long-term? You might need to realize that a person's motivation and sense of belonging aren't simply determined by regional differences.

I'd like you to consider the advantages you'd gain by taking the initiative to build relationship resources in your own area. Think about it!

Maybe if you really go back to the north, you'll still feel a sense of loss. After all, where your heart is content is where you belong. You may have to take the initiative and make things happen. This way, whether you develop in the south or decide to return to the north, your social network can be opened up, and it can also bring you intimacy and a sense of belonging.

When it comes to starting over, whether it's at work or in a close relationship, the most important thing is to give it a go while making sure you've got your basic needs covered. Many of the best things in life come from trying, failing, and trying again, and from building up your energy.

Make a good plan, set a good goal, secure the basics, be brave, and just go for it. You'll be amazed at what you can achieve. The key is how you do it, and you'll feel at peace with yourself.

I hope this is helpful.

I would like to extend a supportive gesture to the questioner. In terms of age, I am a few years older than the questioner, and in terms of experience, I have also navigated the challenges of severe depression, anxiety, and obsessions gradually until today.

During this process, I found myself changing jobs and moving around quite a bit, driven by a desire to learn and grow. I encountered a few setbacks and faced my fair share of rejection and ridicule along the way. However, I remained determined to persevere, even when I felt tired or faced challenges. In time, I was able to achieve my goals. I would like to reassure the original poster that change is possible, life is still long, and there is always room for improvement.

At this age, it can be helpful to consider what one's life is for. Is it for the simple pleasure of pleasing others, or is it for making one's life more fulfilling, more exciting, more secure, and more peaceful? Having a clear line of thinking and being able to follow it firmly and clearly can help avoid many detours and make one's path smoother and easier.

Depression and anxiety are not necessarily a negative force in our lives. They can be seen as parts of ourselves that are tucked away in an inner "little black room." To identify which part is causing distress, it can be helpful to engage in self-reflection, understanding, and adjustment. If words can describe these feelings, they can be used. If words cannot fully capture the experience, it can be beneficial to think about the feelings and then describe or express them through behavior. It can also be helpful to try to maintain an objective and accepting perspective when examining and understanding ourselves. This can help us gain a more accurate understanding of our true selves and challenge any negative beliefs we may have about ourselves.

If I truly were as inadequate as I sometimes feel, how could I have become a counselor and a teacher? I need to understand the roots of this intense self-doubt. Is it something I've always had, or did I absorb it from others and make it my own?

At one time, I also had some negative self-perceptions, feeling that I was not as capable as others. However, I also had a strong sense of self-worth, believing that I could accomplish tasks that many people could not. My thinking was somewhat paranoid. Over time, as I engaged in continuous learning, experienced the fulfillment that comes with learning, and interacted with others outside of learning, I gradually moved away from depression and anxiety. I am now more engaged in activities that bring me joy, and I don't have as much time to dwell on negative thoughts.

I truly believe that you can do it too. To achieve this, it would be helpful to adjust your physical and mental state first, accept and be aware of your inner emotions, make a plan for your future life, find your own path in life, and think and act this way. With these steps, I am confident that things will improve.

Hello, question asker! I'm Evan, and I'm here to help.

It's totally normal to feel unsure about your career future and to feel stuck. When it comes to the future, it's not always easy for others to give detailed answers. The good news is that you can find and grasp your own life by taking the time to explore and discover.

I'm here to give you a little encouragement and strength. It's totally normal not to have a plan for your future career. Often, it's because we don't know ourselves well enough and aren't sure if the path we're on is right for us. But you know what? You can only go as far as you know. So, find a path that suits you, and you'll be able to go further and further.

From the questioner, I see a reflection of myself. There are so many resources and acquaintances in a certain city, but you have to go to an unfamiliar city to start over and adapt again. There is a job with a decent salary in the original place, with familiar friends and resources, but you have to come to an unfamiliar city to face various situations that you are not familiar with. It really can be said to be difficult to describe in words. Sometimes when you encounter problems, you don't even have a way to solve them. I can really relate to that!

In an unfamiliar city, everything has to be started from scratch and adapted to. I can understand the current suffering of the questioner. But no matter what, it is so important to follow your heart! The questioner can think about it: when you are old, looking back at past decisions, what do you want to be remembered for, and what impression will others have of you?

I wish I could give you more advice, but since the question was asked on a platform, I can only give you some simple advice:

Just be honest with yourself, my friend.

It's so important to be honest with yourself about your current choice. We all have different reasons for choosing certain industries. Some people pursue certain careers just to earn money, while others do so because they're good at the work.

Everyone's career goals are different, so it's really important to be honest with yourself and ask yourself: What do you want to do at the moment, and what is your purpose in wanting to do this job?

I'd love to know what your motivation is for pursuing this career.

What can I get out of this career?

I'd love to know what you hope to gain from this career!

We'd love to know how competitive you think you'll be in this occupation!

What do you think you need in this career? We're here to help!

It would be great if you could jot down your interests and resources!

It's also a great idea to write down your hobbies, what you'd like to develop in the future, your resources in a certain area, and the life you'd love to lead in the future. A career is a great way to better survive and live. If you love your family, a career might not be your greatest love.

It's just something we all need to do to survive and live our best lives! There's no need to stress about your career. Instead, focus on the people and things you love. They'll help you stay on track with your goals and interests. And if you have resources in a certain area that can help you reach your career goals quickly, go for it!

It's always a great idea to take relevant career test scales!

These tests can be really helpful for figuring out if a certain type of work is a good fit for you. Some of the most popular ones include the MBTI, PDP, and other personality or career test scales.

These scales are just a helpful guide, and there are so many possibilities out there! It's not about following the scales exactly, but rather about finding what truly resonates with you. What do you want to do, and what do you like?

Take a moment to think about where you are in your life right now.

As the old saying goes, "At thirty, you stand on your own; at forty, you have no more doubts." The questioner is already 32 years old, which is a great age to be! We all play different roles every day, or label ourselves with different behaviors.

So, let's think about what you understand about yourself and what role you play in society. Our roles may include "son," "engineer," "boss," "programmer," "baking enthusiast," and so on.

Take a moment to jot down all the different roles you play in life on a piece of paper. Then, think about which one sticks with you the longest and which one you feel is the most important to you.

It's so important to think about the role you want to play in the future.

Some roles may be played by the questioner for the rest of their lives, such as "son" or "teacher." These are the nouns that can be used to describe you as a person when you leave this world.

Then, think about which roles you feel are really stressful and are having a negative effect on your life. You can definitely remove these roles in the future!

You can help yourself by thinking about the things you want to accomplish. It's totally understandable that you feel the job of a teacher is stable and respected, but you don't like this kind of work. It can be really tedious, and it's no surprise that it makes you feel stressed.

I'd love to know if the question asker is considering a change of jobs because their current role isn't a good fit for them. It would be great to hear what job they'd like to do!

Take a moment to think about why you want to take on this role.

Take a moment to think about why you're in your current role, or why you want to be in a future role. To create a life plan, it's important to be clear about what your top priorities are right now.

It's so important to think about the roles you continue to play and the roles you want to fill in the future. What are the reasons for you to take on these roles?

I know this might sound a little morbid, but it really works! One way to get the questioner to think about these reasons is to imagine your funeral. Who will be there to celebrate your life?

The questioner can imagine how people will judge you. It's okay to feel nervous about this! Perhaps the thing the questioner most longs to hear is that you are a good doctor and that others revere you.

I'd also love to hear your thoughts on other parts of the question!

Stay optimistic and face your choices. No matter what you choose, I know it'll be tough to leave your comfort zone. When faced with a choice, I'd say follow your heart! Decide whether to continue working within the establishment or seek an advantage in resources. Which is more beneficial to you, or is there a possibility of combining the two? This requires careful consideration by you, but I'm here to help!

I really hope my answer can help the questioner!

Good morning,

It is important to note that everyone is particularly sensitive to the concept of "identity anxiety." This state of both identification and resistance is what causes people to feel pain and suffering. It is rare for individuals to be able to adapt to the present and take practical steps. The transformation of identity is often closely related to one's work, and it requires our ability to comprehensively consider all factors.

At 32, is it feasible to pursue a new opportunity?

Clearly, 30 is a threshold, at least an invisible one in people's minds. When entering this city, some people have a clear goal in mind, while others are "pushed" in. The difference is that people who advance with a goal and a plan are better prepared, and when they mobilize their mental resources for their goal, they are more able to follow their hearts and generate the driving force to move closer to it. People who are pushed in are not adequately prepared, at least not mentally. As a result, when they encounter difficulties and feel it difficult to move forward, they tend to accept it as a matter of course.

For those who have already reached this age, is there nothing they can do? Not necessarily, as there are still options available. However, it is important to avoid unnecessary detours. By combining previous work and life experience with a clear mind, one can enhance one's discernment, respect one's true wishes from the heart, and plan for the future. This allows one to prepare for the future and avoid futile fantasies and idealism.

Firstly, it is important to address your depression head-on and dedicate your full attention and care to doing so. One of the key characteristics of depressive mood is a loss of confidence in the future, negative thinking, and a degree of pessimism. As a result, your daily life may not go as well as you would like, and you may feel more tired. It is essential to seek targeted treatment for your depressive mood (which can be combined with medication and adequate recuperation). Try to engage in activities that boost your energy levels, shift your mood, and gradually move away from negative and pessimistic thinking.

The problem owner's situation has been diagnosed as moderate, but they have returned to work prematurely without a full recovery. In fact, their internal pressure may actually increase rather than decrease, because their own emotional distress still exists. At this time, they should need the understanding and support of their family members even more. It may be better to wait until the symptoms subside a bit, take a job with not too much pressure, and slowly get back to work.

The significance of career planning

In 2022, 10 months after joining the company, the first half of the year was spent experimenting with various tasks, while the second half was marked by sudden changes in requirements, templates, and the way titles were evaluated and appointments made. There were also various problems, bugs, management chaos, and time confusion at work that made me feel unsettled, and this led to the idea of finding another job.

As a northerner in the south, I feel a sense of alienation from this city, a sense of unreality in the present, and dislike for the unit. However, I recognize the necessity of survival in this environment. I am not as happy as others because I have a position, and I am reluctant to discuss the specifics of my role in this unit. There is a persistent sense of self-negation and inferiority.

Career planning is the first lesson that adults face when entering the workforce. However, the ambiguity of career choices can lead to setbacks, which is normal. It is important to consider the impact of the external environment objectively. However, if integration is still difficult after a long period of adaptation, it may be necessary to reconsider the suitability of the job. The source of burnout, whether external or internal, can be identified through self-awareness. Factors such as environmental influence, cultural differences between the north and south, work system anxiety, and low work accomplishment can all contribute to burnout. Understanding the reasons for burnout in detail is essential.

From the questioner's mention of a sense of disconnection from the city and a feeling of unreality in the present, and not being able to rejoice like others who have knitted, it can be inferred that the questioner does not feel a sense of belonging in the current work environment. A sense of belonging is a core strength that allows us to settle down and work when we start a job.

It is therefore important to remember that whether it is the degree of fit with career choices or a sense of belonging at work, it is not always necessary to make a choice immediately. Instead, it can be helpful to listen to the voice inside you and see where it is leading you. Following the direction of your heart can help you to identify the right path for you, even if it involves facing difficulties and obstacles. Having a clear sense of direction can help you to generate motivation to move forward despite the difficulties.

Given the issue of missed opportunities and the loss of human resources, each choice carries inherent risk. There is no need to demand absolute certainty or to blame oneself for past decisions when current results are not optimal. This approach may result in an excessive focus on the past, hindering future confidence. At 32 years old, the current society, with its abundant opportunities and connections, still offers significant potential. However, it is essential to maintain an optimistic outlook while clearly defining goals and consistently motivating oneself to advance. This approach can lead to notable success.

*Emotional dilemma

If you give a strong man with four limbs a ball to catch, he will catch the first one with ease. However, when you throw two more balls at him, he will have a challenging time catching them. If you throw three, four, or five balls at him, he will be completely overwhelmed.

Is there a time in our lives when we are like this man, sometimes losing our rhythm because we are carrying too many tasks?

When there are health concerns and you are not yet proficient in your role, those around you will have more negative emotions. At this time, if you consider emotional issues, you will have even less energy to consider them seriously. It is only common to feel overwhelmed. Why not learn to first let go of your inner burdens, sort out the situation in front of you, prioritize the problems, and then consider other things?

It is possible that the questioner is concerned about the issue of age. However, it should be noted that the overall pace of life has accelerated in today's society. Nevertheless, the rhythm of life cannot necessarily be quickened. This is due to the pressure faced by individuals, as well as the limited energy available to them. Consequently, it is essential to conduct a thorough search and engage in thoughtful reflection. Only by doing so can individuals assume responsibility for their future.

Ultimately, I advise the original poster to allow themselves the space to reflect and consider their options. There is no need to rush; take your time. Whether it's work or relationships, as long as you're prepared, the opportunities will present themselves.

Best regards, Please accept my best wishes for your continued success.

I have found that sharing insights and experiences in a thoughtful and reflective manner has become a natural habit for me. I often find myself engaging in this practice even when I am not actively speaking to another person.

I am delighted to have had the opportunity to connect with other northerners in this online space.

I believe that only those who have experienced the challenges of being away from home can truly understand the difficulties involved.

By chance, I recently had the opportunity to connect with you online, and I would like to respectfully address some of the confusion you have expressed.

I believe that what we are facing now is not entirely unreal, but perhaps it is perceived as such.

It's natural to idealize things or people at first. Before we become part of a situation or truly get to know someone, we tend to think too highly of the situation or person. Over time, though, we often find that reality differs from our initial impressions.

We would be remiss if we did not mention that the current reality has not deceived us. Rather, it is simply that our personal cognitive abilities are insufficient. Consequently, when faced with this society that you are not entirely satisfied with but have to integrate in order to survive, regardless of your ultimate career choice, you will ultimately be unable to escape reality.

It's possible that you may feel like you're the unfortunate one all the time. If you do, I can honestly tell you that it's not necessarily the case. There are likely many people facing similar challenges in ways you can't see. They may have anxiety and complaints, but they choose to face reality directly because, after experiencing it, they realize that although reality can be difficult, it's the real life.

It would be wise to remember that resources are your advantage. It is also worth noting that investing resources in the wrong place may have the unintended consequence of making your advantage less competitive.

We have discussed the authenticity of the present. I would now like to talk to you a little more about resources. Once you realize the authenticity of life, it becomes easier to understand the resourcefulness of reality.

No matter what occupation you are in, what level of education you have, or how much life experience you have, it is inevitable that there will always be competition wherever there are people. In any competitive environment, there will be individuals who possess certain resources or advantages that allow them to excel. While these individuals may not be outstanding in every way, they often have the potential to grow and succeed rapidly in such an environment.

I believe it is due to the assistance of resources. To use an old saying, it is because of the help of important people. These so-called important people are a kind of resource advantage that one can only hope for but not seek. No matter how indifferent you are, this resource advantage can really help you out at times.

If you don't have any resources in the south and you want to accumulate resources on your own, it's certainly possible, though it may be challenging. I hope you can carefully consider the pros and cons and make the best decision for you.

Everyone's life trajectory is unique, and it's important to recognize that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to life.

Thirty years old can feel a bit awkward from a certain perspective. It's not young, but it's not old either. Some people will tell us, quoting the words of the sages: "At thirty, one should have established one's career."

If you have not yet reached the traditional age for marriage, I believe it is important to remember that everyone's life journey is unique. It is not possible to compare one life path with another. I encourage you to follow your heart and trust your instincts. As long as you feel it is the right decision, you should feel confident in pursuing your dreams.

It is often difficult to determine what is right and wrong in life, as there is no absolute conclusion. In some matters, only oneself truly understands oneself, and what others call understanding you is just a fleeting comfort.

If I might offer a few final words, I would like to suggest that life is a continuous series of dots, and that there is no absolute conclusion to be drawn. What is right and wrong in life is relative, and there is no one way of understanding it. We must all find our

Life is a continuous series of moments, each of which contributes to the larger picture.

I believe that every step you take now

If I might make a suggestion, I think it would be helpful to consider each point in your life.

If I might suggest, the dots are connected to form a whole.

This is what makes up your life.

Each dot is worthy of respect and consideration.

It would be inaccurate to suggest that there is a perfect point.

It is also worth noting that a line is never perfectly straight.

I believe there is natural beauty.

Hello, host. I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

From what you've shared, I can sense your current distress, confusion, and dissatisfaction, as well as your denial of your current work and life. I hope you can feel some warmth and support. I also sense your inner positive strength. Despite your current situation, you've shown a willingness to work hard to find a job to reassure your family. And you've found a job that is challenging for many people to handle. This shows that you have capabilities that you may not fully recognize.

Indeed, doing a job you don't like and working in a place you don't really like, I think I would probably be in a similar situation. You are already very good at what you do and you are already working very hard. But if we want to break the pattern, it might be helpful to find a direction for ourselves, because if we work in the wrong direction, we might not reach our goals.

If I might offer you some advice, it would be this:

1. Perhaps we could try accepting ourselves first, and then finding our own goals and direction, in order to inspire our inner motivation and passion for life.

Yes, it would be beneficial to first identify our goals in order to determine our direction. Before we can determine our direction, it may be helpful to accept ourselves, accept everything about ourselves, accept our current situation, accept our imperfections, and especially accept the shadow side of ourselves.

When you can face this comprehensive, true, and objective self, you may also find the courage to consider the life you want to live and the direction you want to go.

You mentioned that you'd prefer not to discuss your current role. Could you please elaborate on the underlying beliefs that contribute to this self-denial and inferiority complex? Or, if you're comfortable sharing, what might be the underlying idea that makes you feel you're not good enough?

Could it be that the work you are doing now is not as valuable as you would like it to be? Or is it perhaps not aligned with your ideal self?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider some alternative perspectives on this situation.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what kind of life we want. Do we want to work to meet the expectations of our family, or do we want to take care of our own needs?

As the movie "Silence" suggests, we spend our whole lives trying to escape the expectations of others and become our true selves. You might consider putting aside the expectations of others and asking yourself what kind of life your true self wants to pursue and what you can do now to live that kind of life.

When you have a deeper understanding of yourself, you will gain insight into the kind of person you want to become. Over time, you will find your direction and goals, the kind of work and things that will bring you happiness and enjoyment, no matter where you are.

2. It would be beneficial for us to consider adopting some methods to help ourselves relieve and balance our emotions, with the aim of fostering greater harmony and stability in our hearts.

I'm curious if your former psychiatrist or counselor might have offered suggestions on daily methods of emotional release. It's as important to nourish our spiritual selves as it is to nourish our physical bodies, and this can help to maintain our mental health.

It would be beneficial to adopt these methods as our way of life, so that our emotions can flow and we don't always remain stuck in them.

You might find it helpful to use these methods to help you vent your emotions on a regular basis:

It may be helpful to socialize with friends who can provide support and encouragement, and with whom you feel comfortable.

You might consider going for a workout, doing those sports you enjoy, and relaxing your body and mind through exercise.

Writing can be a helpful therapeutic practice. You might find it beneficial to write down your inner feelings and thoughts on paper, without worrying about whether the handwriting is clear and neat, or about the logic of the content. You can express your feelings as much as you like.

Writing can be a therapeutic activity. You might find it helpful to write down all your feelings and thoughts on paper, without worrying about whether your handwriting is clear and neat, or about the logic of the content. You may wish to express your feelings as much as you like.

One way to release your anger might be to hit a pillow or a sandbag.

One technique that can be helpful in releasing emotions is the empty chair technique. This involves placing an empty chair in a room and assuming that the person you want to talk to is sitting in it. You can then express yourself to the chair, whether it's anger, frustration, or anything else you're feeling.

3. It is important to take responsibility for our own life issues, distinguishing between what is another person's issue and what is our own. It is not helpful to take on other people's issues. At the same time, we also need to take full responsibility for our own choices.

It is important to remember that every aspect of your life, from your work to your living situation to your future marriage, is a matter of your own choosing. You have the power to make your own decisions and to accept the consequences of those decisions. While your parents may have their own views and ideas about your work, your life, and your emotions, it is up to you to decide how you live your life and to take responsibility for the choices you make.

This is what psychology refers to as "issue separation." The direct consequence of an event is the issue of whoever bears it. Therefore, it could be said that your work and your life are your issues, rather than those of your family, as you are the one who bears the direct consequences of these choices.

It is important to remember that we have many choices in life, but we must also accept the consequences of our decisions. For instance, if you continue living in a city you dislike and working in a job you dislike, you will have to face the consequences of that choice. Similarly, if you choose to quit your job and move to a city you like, you will have to deal with the risks involved in quitting your job and the concerns of your family. Alternatively, you can choose to continue working in your current city but find ways to make your work more interesting and motivating, connect with people you enjoy spending time with, and engage in activities you enjoy. This will require you to overcome some challenges, but it can also lead to a more fulfilling and enjoyable life.

It might be helpful to remember that nobody is perfect, and that's okay. We all have to make our own choices and accept the consequences. Is that not a more straightforward approach?

Please feel free to refer to the above as a point of reference. Wishing you the best,

You're thirty and established, just thirty. Now you've reached a threshold, and it sounds like you're experiencing a period of professional burnout, or even a period of exploration, where you feel an unreal sense of your current career.

I feel like I want to get away from it all, you know? You used to be a tutor for undergraduates, and now you are a vocational college teacher.

I've heard that teachers at universities generally have less pressure than those at primary and secondary schools. This is probably because primary and secondary school students need to advance to the next level, from primary school to junior high school, from junior high school to high school, especially the college entrance exam. Teachers at primary and secondary schools obviously have more pressure.

I can see that things aren't going so well for you at the moment. It's totally normal to feel a bit lost and unhappy in a job you don't enjoy. I'm here to help you work through these feelings and find a way forward.

You might want to think about moving away. There's absolutely nothing to be afraid of when you quit your job! The most important thing is to have a plan for what you're going to do next. At the moment, you're working in the south, but you don't feel a strong sense of identity with the city. So it would be a great idea to arrange some future work plans in the north!

And your friends still have resources, and it seems that their connections are stronger in the north.

So you might want to consider looking for work in the North District. It seems like a big change to switch careers now, but you know what? It's never too late to start something new!

But don't worry, there are still jobs out there! The key is to find the right one for you. And it's best to find a job that you can do for a long time.

I'm really sorry to have to tell you that, due to various reasons related to the market, all walks of life seem to be withering.

It can be really tough to find a job that meets all your expectations, can continue to operate in the long term, and also offers a reasonable salary, social insurance, housing fund, weekends off, and so on. Two years ago, you were going through some moderate anxiety and depression, and you were also afraid of other people "pointing fingers" behind your back. It can be seen that your situation at the time was still quite worrying.

No matter what happens in the outside world, your health and mental stability are your best friends. They're useless if they're not protected, and we need to be in good health and have a stable state of mind to face the outside world.

If you're feeling negative about your current career, inferior, and lacking a sense of identity, it can be tough to know what kind of career is right for you.

I really think you should take a career personality test and a career needs test to get a more comprehensive understanding of yourself. And if you feel that you prefer working in the north, you can look for northern cities on recruitment software to think about what your next job will be. You can even allow yourself a period of time to think about it. During this period, you can keep your current job and not resign.

You can always quit when you're ready. It's okay to ask for help at work, especially from those friendly colleagues who are more experienced. This can help distribute the responsibility and reduce the pressure. It might also help with your current stress and feelings of disconnection. Best of luck!

ZQ?

Hello, question asker. From your description, I can tell you're feeling depressed, anxious, numb, and powerless.

Doing a job you don't like just to keep up with the Joneses can really take a toll on your mental health.

You're worried about what other people think of you, but you don't know why you're living, so you can't find meaning in life. You're numb and empty, unable to escape.

Who are you living for?

You're worried about how your work will be affected and whether people will talk about you behind your back, so you quit your job without notice.

You wanted to take some time to adjust your state of mind, but you were worried that your family would be worried about you and would be happy to see you. So you took a job you didn't want just to please them.

Your work is a compromise to keep your family happy and make ends meet, not something you're particularly good at.

You feel pretty disappointed in yourself, doubt yourself, and feel like you're not as good as you could be.

But at the end of the day, it's your life. Is it really worth it to spend your whole life trying to meet other people's expectations and living for everyone else?

Do other people's opinions really matter that much? Are they all right?

Is it really possible to satisfy everyone and be happy?

☞ Let go of your expectations of others and focus on living your own life.

I'm not happy because I have a job, and I don't even want to talk about what I do at this company. There's always some self-denial and inferiority.

It's clear you're not happy in your current role. Why not try letting go of the expectations of your family and everyone else, and ask yourself what you really want?

Start with the little things and live according to what's really important to you.

Work isn't the be-all and end-all. Don't push yourself to improve just to meet the expectations of your family and others.

When you're tired, take a break. After work, find something you like to do, have a cup of coffee, get in touch with nature, breathe in the fresh air, and feel the present moment.

When you decide to let go of other people's expectations and start to see, accept, and respect the real you, you may find a different way of living.

Wishing you the best!

I note that your query was submitted at approximately 1:00 a.m. today. It is likely that you were still grappling with these circumstances in the middle of the night, resulting in significant disruption to your sleep.

After reading your description, I feel a sense of both relief and genuine sadness for you. The reasons for my relief are as follows: (1) you have an enterprising side, you are not content with mediocrity, and you are even a bit restless, always pursuing the life of your dreams; (2) when it comes to marriage and choosing a spouse, you are not willing to settle for just anyone, and you will not marry just for the sake of getting married, nor will you easily lower your standards.

It is unfortunate that you have experienced a sense of alienation from the city and have encountered difficulties integrating into the local culture. Additionally, your sentiments regarding your role at the company, coupled with the pervasive feelings of self-denial and inferiority, indicate that you have encountered challenges in truly identifying with your work. Furthermore, the pressure and anxiety associated with being an older unmarried individual are sentiments that I can deeply empathize with.

You posed two questions: one is "How might I disrupt the current pattern?" and the other is "At 32 years of age, do I still possess the financial resources to embark on a new venture?" It must be acknowledged that these are both significant and challenging inquiries, and it is not straightforward to provide definitive responses.

We will initially address the second question: "At 32 years of age, does the individual possess the financial resources to embark on a new venture?"

In my estimation, the answer is affirmative. I am reminded of Louise Hay's assertion that "a new career can begin at any age, especially if you do it for the joy of it."

(Hay, L. (2008). Rebuilding Your Life. Translated by Xu Keru. China Aerospace Publishing House, p. 56.)

Naturally, those who are truly motivated to embark on a new venture must be prepared and willing to work diligently.

We will now proceed to address the initial inquiry: "What is the optimal method for overcoming the impasse in the present circumstances?"

Firstly, it seems evident that you and your current workplace are a suitable match. After all, how else could you have met last year and been working together for over nine months? Despite your feelings of inadequacy and a lack of recognition, it is clear that the workplace requires your input and that you have already dedicated a significant portion of your life to it.

Should you opt to depart from your current place of employment, it is recommended that you dedicate each day preceding your departure to bestowing blessings upon the workplace, its personnel, and even the objects within it. This practice is believed to bestow good fortune and even miracles upon the individual.

Secondly, it is acknowledged that northerners may experience a sense of cultural dissonance when residing in the southern region. This is understandable, given the significant cultural dissimilarities between the two geographical areas. Individuals from the northern region who relocate to the south may initially perceive the local conditions as unfamiliar and may encounter challenges in integrating into the social fabric of the southern communities.

Should you be resolved to return to the north to work, I am entirely supportive of your decision. The fundamental purpose of our lives is to pursue happiness.

Given your relative youth, there is no need for you to compromise your personal values or suppress your individuality. You have the autonomy to pursue a life path that aligns with your personal goals and preferences, including the choice of where you wish to live. You possess the capacity to make decisions that are right for your unique circumstances.

Thirdly, it must be acknowledged that regardless of one's geographical location or occupational status, there will invariably be aspects of life that are perceived as unsatisfactory and challenges that must be surmounted.

In your description, you indicated that in 2020, you experienced moderate anxiety and depression. The cause of this is unclear. In which city were you residing at the time? Was it in the south or the north?

It is encouraging to note that, despite the challenges encountered over the past two years, you have demonstrated resilience in navigating these difficulties.

It is recommended that the individual in question adopt a more tranquil demeanor and undertake a comprehensive reevaluation of their past experiences and current thoughts. It is advised that the individual temporarily set aside their concerns regarding romantic relationships and marriage, and instead prioritize self-improvement and positive change. It is further suggested that the individual establish specific deadlines and tasks to guide their progress.

1. The individual should endeavor to marry before the age of 35, unless they are already in a committed relationship.

2. It is recommended that you continue in your current position for a minimum of three additional months.

3. Engage in active participation in spiritual workshops or psychological counseling group workshops, or receive one-to-one psychological counseling for a period of one to two months.

4. Within the subsequent two-month period, it is recommended that the individual engage with at least one or two self-help books on spirituality.

5. List the ten most important objectives you wish to achieve in the future, which will serve as a source of motivation.

Hello, dear question asker!

I'm so happy we met! It's like fate brought us together.

I just want to give you a big hug from afar!

I'm really sorry to hear you've been feeling unhappy at work. I'm also worried that your family is feeling anxious because of work issues, that you're struggling to adapt to your new environment, and that you're worrying about your personal problems.

I'd love to ask you a few questions!

1. Is work your thing or your family's thing?

2. I'm really curious to know if your family members want to see you happy at work or not.

3. What has the southern city brought you? What are your advantages in the south?

4. Do you like yourself as you are?

I'm 32 too, and I ask myself these same questions!

I've never been satisfied with my work, and I care a lot about what other people say. Recently, though, I've figured it out. I am my own person, and I'm so happy I've realized that! I know my parents will worry about what I will do if I quit my job, and others will ask why I don't go to work anymore. But I just want to live the way I like, and I'm so excited to see what my future holds! My happiness is what my parents want to see, and I'm so grateful for their love and support.

You're in your prime at 32, let's cheer together! You can imagine what kind of life, work, and partner you want. Draw it out or write it down, and work towards that goal!

I really think you'll find the book "The Secret" helpful, as I shared with you recently.

It is evident that you are experiencing anxiety and difficulties in adapting to practical situations. You are unable to communicate your concerns to your family and seek a mutually acceptable solution. You are torn between navigating your professional relationships with colleagues and leaders and your deep-seated desire to be authentic and engage in work that aligns with your abilities and competencies.

Anxiety and depression are symptoms that can be understood as manifestations of underlying conflicts. If an individual is uncertain about how to make a choice, psychological theory suggests that it may be helpful to identify and understand the conflict that is driving the generation of these symptoms or the formation of inherent patterns. In some cases, individuals may lack the strength to be themselves, may be afraid of failure, may worry about external comments, may be unable to face and take responsibility, or may carry it in a repressed way. In these instances, the inner pain and loneliness may only be experienced by the individual in question.

There are methods of coping with these issues. The first is to become aware of one's true thoughts and feelings, to seek out trusted, safe friends, loved ones, or professional listeners, to express oneself, and to pour out one's heart. This will result in a reduction of negative emotions that are suppressed inside, a stabilization of emotions, and an increase in time for reflection. However, it is still necessary to decide for oneself where to go and what to do. It is important to have a goal and not become overwhelmed. There is a great deal of fatigue in the world, and the worst thing is to be tired of one's heart. In order to present the best version of oneself to others, one must carry a heavy load and move forward.

Additionally, it is important to accept one's imperfect self, particularly at the age of 32, provided that one has some feelings and a desire to change. It is never too late to make a change. Life is a long journey, and it is essential to pursue one's goals, recognize them, and act upon them. This approach can significantly enhance one's quality of life.

It is imperative to love oneself and to refrain from placing undue emphasis on external opinions, as they are ultimately a reflection of one's own perception. The world is a vast entity, and I am committed to utilizing my professional expertise to provide you with the utmost assistance. I wish you the best of luck.

My anxiety/since-childhood-ive-always-felt-invisible-why-do-i-constantly-feel-overlooked-by-others-11164.html" target="_blank">child, allow me to offer you a hug. You indicate that you are 30 years of age. You appear to be experiencing a high level of anxiety. I believe I would still be attempting to find a suitable match if I were 50 years of age.

I find that amusing.

I believe you are a person of high moral standards. You even resigned from your position as an undergraduate counselor without notice, due to concerns about the potential impact on your work and the possibility of being the subject of gossip. In today's society, it requires courage to resign from a job.

It is not the case that all those who leave their jobs and change careers are better off. In fact, the majority of people find it increasingly difficult to make a living after leaving their jobs, particularly if they change industries. Everyone has to start over again. It is inevitable that a novice will not be able to compete with someone who has been immersed in the field for many years.

For this reason, some middle schools offer a career planning course. This teaches children how to identify their interests and link them to potential careers, how to navigate discrepancies between academic and practical learning, and more. This provides children with a clearer future path and a stronger sense of purpose.

Given your experience of navigating a challenging period in a vocational high school, I commend you for your resilience and ability to handle problems with ease. Every unit inevitably faces its own set of challenges, and the issues you encounter in this unit may also exist in another. If you tend to avoid facing problems, it could lead to a higher frequency of job changes in the future. This can result in feelings of not belonging or disappointment with your work. Instead of focusing on your next job, I encourage you to excel in your current role and take ownership of your responsibilities. When you can effectively handle your current job, you gain valuable insights and growth that cannot be achieved through a step-by-step approach. This is the experience and knowledge that shapes your professional journey.

In regard to your single status, I advise you not to decline any blind dates. You have indicated a preference for northerners, and I believe there are northerners in the city where you work.

In the context of love and marriage, however, character, values, and personality are of greater consequence. Geography is not a significant factor in such matters.

It would be beneficial for you to take the time to identify your genuine requirements. Could I ask you to consider why you are drawn to northerners? Is it simply because they are tall and strong?

His masculinity? His proficiency in Mandarin?

Is his responsibility to his family the determining factor? Or is there another reason?

Once you have resolved these issues, you will likely realize that what you truly desire is a man of a specific type, not necessarily a native of the north. If the individual in question is a native of the north and meets your expectations, it may be a more suitable match. Alternatively, if there is a suitable native of the south, that could be an opportunity worth exploring.

Two significant life events are falling in love and getting married, as well as pursuing a career. You previously mentioned experiencing moderate depression. I hope you can overcome this challenge as soon as possible. It is more beneficial to focus on your needs rather than dwelling on them. Whether it is work or love, identify your requirements and search for the ideal match. Then, confront the situation courageously. I want to start working and gain a sense of accomplishment, which will also eliminate any time for worry. Wouldn't that be a more positive approach? As you sought assistance on this platform, you also expressed a desire for more responses to alleviate your loneliness.

Additionally, you may find it beneficial to utilize the platform for networking and knowledge acquisition. With time, you will begin to emerge from your current situation and identify the subtle indications of hope and positivity that exist within your life.

After reading the description, I could see the anxiety and bravery of the questioner in real life. She seems calm on the surface, but inside, she's in turmoil. She quit her job after being diagnosed with depression 20 years ago. She didn't find much personal fulfillment in her work, and a series of work situations were different from the past. It's not easy to work and live in a foreign land. I admire her perseverance and ability to seek a way to change her thinking and break the deadlock.

When you're in a foreign land, you need friends.

I can really relate to the challenges the questioner is facing, especially when you're in a new place and don't have any local connections. A few years ago, I relocated for personal reasons and initially felt quite isolated. I found that joining volunteer groups aligned with my interests helped me to slowly start building connections. I paid it forward and gradually made more and more friends. While I've since made new friends, I haven't kept in touch with most of my original network. However, a few friendships have continued to this day, and I've benefited a lot from them!

My advice to the questioner is to try to make more friends with similar interests and to expand your social circle without forcing yourself. It's like the ripple effect: you might be surprised by the results. The best resource is yourself, and the best psychologist is life. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

We all face conflicts in life, and it's important to resolve them with wisdom and compassion. It's crucial to be self-aware and aware of others, and to act for the good of ourselves and others to achieve the common good!

At 32, do you still have the resources to start over?

I firmly believe that it's never too late to start, that hard work doesn't necessarily lead to success, but that success does require hard work. At the age of 50, I came to understand the will of heaven. The worst that can happen in life is to be a late bloomer.

Dora Kalff, the founder of sandplay therapy, didn't start studying psychology until she was 45. Sandplay therapy is currently a popular psychological treatment method internationally, but how many people know that it was founded by a single mother who had no formal training and didn't even have a university degree?

Ruth Ammann, former president of the International Sandplay Therapy Society, got into the field at 50. Before that, she was an architect, and after that, she went to the Jung Institute for training and embarked on a spiritual journey.

There are tons of similar examples. Japanese trend master Kenichi Ohmae thinks that 50 is the time to "restart" your life. He says, "At 50, don't be a withered tree, be a flower blooming in the wilderness!"

Give your life some wisdom and nutrients, and help the next generation to grow. As the ancients said, "Without small steps, you cannot go thousands of miles; without small streams, you cannot form a river or the sea."

Do your best and know your limitations. The questioner is now 32 years old and has a bright future ahead of him!

Just my two cents, for whatever it's worth.

Wishing you peace and safety.

Dear questioner,

My name is Kelly. I have carefully read your question and attempted to address each point individually. Please accept my apologies in advance if I make any mistakes.

[Undergraduate Counselor]

The questioner experienced anxiety-induced depression when she was a counselor. There are clearly unprocessed emotions here.

I am certain that the questioner is a person with a strong sense of responsibility. Here is something to ask yourself:

1: A counselor is a position of great responsibility that requires handling many emergencies. You are only 32 years old now, and you were also young at the time. If you have a strong sense of empathy, you can undoubtedly perceive the stress and suffering of many others.

2: Your kindness is evident from your fear of affecting others. But dear questioner, there are many people suffering from depression in the workplace. Let me be clear: depression is not that different from the common cold.

Our teacher, from the Department of Psychology at Peking University, was depressed when she was a student there. She was ridiculed, and she made it clear that doctors get sick too.

You are a person with emotions, despite being a counselor. If you have psychological confusion, see a psychologist. Solve problems in a timely manner.

3: You're putting too much pressure on yourself. What caused the counselor's anxiety? It could be a number of things, like not adapting to a new place, confusion about relationships, or living far from home. Identify what caused the anxiety and work through it.

4: I believe your anxiety is caused by worrying about the future, and your depression is due to struggling to communicate with others, which causes conflicts and internal conflicts within you.

5: I boldly assume that if there is still emotional pressure and confusion, it is likely caused by depression. You should pay attention to it.

6: Let me be clear: depression is something everyone has. It just lasts longer. I also have depression, and I have made peace with it by facing it positively and understanding the reasons for it. Many outstanding psychologists have these psychological problems. Understanding depression correctly is like understanding a cold: don't resist it or be afraid of it. Jung, Horney, and Freud also had psychological confusion.

[Senior high school teacher]

The questioner has been actively looking for work during the pandemic and has already found a very good job. It's great to see that there are still opportunities out there, especially given the growing number of unemployed people.

You are very good at this.

Stable work helps us find a sense of value and meaning.

You just haven't adapted fully to the work at school yet. The questioner can focus on a certain field and do a good job at what they're doing right now while they figure things out.

I have friends who are teachers and only teach one subject for their whole life. There are also classmates who are good at handling interpersonal relationships and move towards administration. You can do the same.

From what I can see, the questioner is working to ensure the happiness of his family. He is clearly very considerate of his family. Work is our own business. We must find the meaning and value of work to stay motivated.

It is also crucial to love yourself and be aware of your emotions. Family is important, but we must focus on the present. How are you doing in this job?

You know yourself best.

"The person is in the south, but their heart is in the north."

The questioner stated that he was unable to integrate due to cultural differences between the north and the south. I understand you very well, which indicates that you are nostalgic.

A teacher at Harvard University shared that he once had a visitor who could not integrate into Harvard. The visitor felt that everyone was very good and that he was not good enough at Harvard to keep up with his studies.

The teacher said, "You can get into Harvard University, which is so difficult to enter, but you haven't yet adapted. You were once the best in your local high school, but you refuse to forget your past. Your heart is still in the old place, even though you are in Harvard."

The past is the past, and it's beautiful. The questioner can go to a school in the south. It's not that the questioner is outstanding, but it's also impossible to get a job there. They mustn't forget their own outstanding qualities.

The north and the south are just a process of adaptation. Everyone will have such conflicts and cultural divisions. They will then develop a new life in a different culture and environment and find their own happiness.

I advise the questioner to

1: If you are confused, find a counselor. You will find the reason for your unhappiness together.

Read as much as you can to enrich your life. Join a book club if you want to.

3: Be a slashie, find your interests, and do what you love.

4: Embrace the southern culture, embrace the differences, and embrace the future with curiosity.

5: Find some positive colleagues and chat with them after work. Do what you can.

6: About the love lesson:

I strongly recommend the words of Liang Yong'an, a teacher at Fudan University: whether you are single or in a relationship, happiness is best. (Being single has its own happiness, and being in a relationship has its own happiness.)

7: Everyone is inferior, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Know your own strengths and don't be afraid to use them. You can go from the north to the south, and you can also get a job in the civil service.

Low self-esteem drives us to become better versions of ourselves. There are also advantages to being self-deprecating. It motivates us to work harder and be more humble.

8: Everyone is equal. People from the north and south have their own merits, and human nature is the same. As the ancients said, it is hard to find a true friend.

When you're away from home, you still rely on friends. Make sure you're surrounded by people with good moral character.

People respect and help each other without any distinction between high and low.

9: Explore unfamiliar cities, streets, and alleys, browse bookstores, old streets, and feel close to it.

10: Grow and learn together.

Embrace the resources of the present and move on from past opportunities.

You have many advantages, and you should recognize your own strengths. Just as I see you, you are a valuable person.

Congratulations!

I am Kelly.

The world loves you, and I love you too.

Hello!

Your question made me think many people will have similar problems.

It's been tough.

I'm hugging you!

I'd love to chat and give you comfort and inspiration.

1. Be understanding and calm.

The past two years have been tough.

You quit your job in 2020, looked for a job in 2021, and struggled to adapt to your new job this year.

It's hard to understand if you're not in the situation.

You survived and are seeking help and change.

Good job!

We will feel unhappy and doubt ourselves at work.

We get anxious sometimes.

Don't rush to make a decision. Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge how hard this is for you.

Comfort and encourage yourself, just like you would your best friend.

Once we calm down, we can think about what kind of work and life we want.

We can help ourselves face difficulties better when we're rational.

Focus on your strengths and make comparisons.

When we're emotional, we only see our flaws.

Write a list of what you have:

Work brings income, education, age, and advantages.

You're only 32.

If we think we're getting older, we'll be unhappy.

Our beliefs about age limit us, not age itself.

You can always start over.

Make a list of what you want.

What kind of work do you want? Finding a boyfriend? Money? Be specific.

Comparisons help us focus on the most important things.

Sometimes, we want to escape when we're bored or unhappy. But if we don't face our problems, they'll still be there even if we change jobs.

Focusing on our strengths helps us find a good way forward.

❤️3. Be confident and accept yourself.

When we feel inferior, we are easily bound by difficulties.

When we nourish ourselves with vitality, we can face difficulties and believe in ourselves.

And respond.

Everyone gets anxious and confused sometimes. Be kind to yourself and don't worry too much.

Look at your situation and surroundings.

Comparing ourselves to others helps us see what's changeable and what's not. It also helps us not stress about others' excellence.

It helps you adapt to your environment.

Or find something better.

We will be ready for anything, even if we move or change jobs.

We all experience burnout.

You will be dissatisfied with your work.

Knowing ourselves helps us stay calm and take action.

Just share these.

Read The Remarkable Me if you're interested.

Best wishes!