At 32, feeling lifeless, how to find a suitable psychologist for yourself?

Good morning. I am grateful for the opportunity to address your question.

First of all, it might be helpful to recognize that you are currently experiencing some distress and frustration. It is beneficial to understand yourself, but it would be even more beneficial to understand what has happened to cause this current state to be worse than before. Let's explore it together:

It would be beneficial to complete some preparatory work before moving forward.

It would be beneficial to gain an understanding of the common therapies used in psychological counseling before choosing a suitable counselor. Once we have a grasp on the fundamental techniques associated with these therapies, we can select a counselor who is adept at a particular therapy that resonates with us. It would also be advantageous to ascertain whether their approach and educational background are the result of extensive, systematic learning.

Some of the more common psychological counseling therapies include:

★1. Hypnotherapy: This is a psychological treatment method that uses hypnosis to make the seeker's scope of consciousness extremely narrow, and uses suggestive language to communicate directly with the subconscious to find the root cause of the problem and eliminate pathological psychology and physical obstacles. Hypnosis can effectively promote a person's potential abilities. Some psychological treatment methods now use hypnosis to treat some psychological disorders, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety and depression, Internet addiction and drug addiction, emotional problems, insomnia, etc.

The psychodynamic approach is a technique that belongs to the school of psychoanalysis. Some of the common techniques that are used in this approach include (1) free association, (2) dream analysis, (3) empathy and counter-empathy, and (4) interpretation.

Family therapy, also known as family treatment, is a psychological treatment method that targets the family. It coordinates the interpersonal relationships between family members, and through communication, role-playing, alliance-building, and identification, it seeks to improve the family's psychological function and promote the psychological health of its members by taking into account the interdependent effect of the personalities and behavior patterns of family members.

Sandplay therapy is a form of psychotherapy that uses sand, water, and sand toys in creative imagery to create a "space of freedom and protection." A series of various sand tray images reflect the communication and dialogue between the conscious and unconscious minds of the client, as well as the healing process, physical and mental health development, and personality development and improvement inspired by this.

5. Painting therapy: This is one of the methods of psychological art therapy. It offers the painter the opportunity to express repressed feelings and conflicts in the subconscious through the creative process of painting, and to gain relief and satisfaction in the process of painting, thereby achieving the effect of diagnosis and treatment.

★6. Gestalt therapy: This psychological treatment method places great emphasis on the idea that people are organized wholes, and views the mind or behavior as an integrated process of emotions, thoughts, and actions. Gestalt therapy is also known as Gestalt therapy. Gestalt therapy attributes the main causes of psychological disorders to the following:

It may be helpful to consider that sometimes, when we find ourselves in a challenging situation, we might unintentionally replace action with stubborn and rigid thinking. Similarly, it's not uncommon to find ourselves rejecting the present reality, reminiscing about the past, and looking forward to the future.

It would be beneficial to consider the possibility that blaming others and believing that one and others should not be like this may stem from a lack of acknowledgment of the reality of oneself and others. Similarly, it might be helpful to explore the potential connection between a lack of responsibility for one's own decisions and the aforementioned issues.

★7. Narrative therapy: This approach is closely linked to the postmodernist trend in contemporary philosophy. It suggests that the objective reality we perceive may be subjective, meaning that the facts or truth we observe may be influenced by the method or observer used. Additionally, language plays a significant role in shaping our understanding of facts and truth, and our background environment can also have a strong impact on this process.

★8. Rational Emotive Therapy: A psychological therapy that aims to help the seeker resolve emotional distress caused by irrational beliefs. It is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy. This theory suggests that what causes people emotional distress is not external events, but rather cognitive content such as people's attitudes, perceptions, and evaluations of events.

Beck cognitive therapy posits that cognition produces emotions and behaviors, and that abnormal cognition may contribute to the emergence of abnormal emotions and behaviors. Cognition may serve as an intermediary between emotions and behaviors, and emotional and behavioral problems may be related to distorted cognition.

It is thought that the "dysfunctional assumptions" or schemas formed by people's early experiences determine people's evaluation of things and become the norms that govern people's behavior. These norms are said to exist in the subconscious, without being noticed by people. Once these schemas are activated by some kind of severe life practice, it is believed that a large number of "negative automatic thoughts" will appear in the brain. These thoughts are said to rise to the conscious world, which in turn may lead to emotional depression, anxiety, and behavioral disorders.

Rogers' person-centered approach is based on the idea that human nature is fundamentally good, that people can be trusted completely, and that all people have the potential to achieve self-realization and self-growth. This approach suggests that people can learn to understand themselves and solve their own problems without direct intervention from a counselor. If placed in a special counseling relationship, people may be able to grow through self-guidance.

It would be beneficial to consider ways of expanding the implementation of these therapies.

Finding a suitable counselor is not an easy task. However, with prior preparation, we can build a framework in our minds and gain a general understanding of which therapies we accept and are willing to cooperate with. This can help improve the effectiveness of counseling.

##Self-understanding##

It seems that the questioner is currently experiencing a certain degree of chaos and confusion, which may be attributed to the fact that the current counseling is still in its preliminary stages of "discovery and seeing." It is possible that the reason for the pain is that the individual currently lacks the strength to accept such a real self all at once, which has disrupted their balance. It would be beneficial for the questioner to continue attending regular counseling sessions and to cooperate with the counselor's intervention techniques, as this may help to gradually improve the situation. Additionally, it may be helpful for the questioner to record their feelings, inspirations, and thoughts after each counseling session, as this could potentially contribute to the progress and effectiveness of the counseling.

The above represents only my personal opinions, and I hope they will be helpful and inspiring to you!

I'm grateful for your support.

Hello, question asker.

You have consulted with a counselor several times and have been open with them. This is a courageous step. You sought help when you needed it. While the experience wasn't perfect, you gained valuable insights. You're more proactive than those who avoid seeking help. This is something to be proud of.

You have also sought help from numerous online and offline counselors, including those at the hospital's psychiatric department. You have invested a great deal of money and believe you have gained clarity in life.

But life has lost its momentum. I used to live life blindly and arrogantly. After consulting and talking about my problems countless times, I discovered different problems with myself every time I communicated. Now I have given myself a lot of negative labels: lazy, comfortable, arrogant, vain, wanting instant gratification in everything, irresponsible. I have spent every day of the past year in torment, and I have even had thoughts of suicide when I was alone to escape.

The initial consultation was nothing serious. I was just anxious. Every counselor said I was wise.

I prefer to communicate with male teachers. The unified view is to lie down, look at the present, but now I feel powerless. My interpersonal relationships are almost zero. My boss has gone from having expectations at the beginning to ignoring me now. Every day I just go to work mechanically, punch the clock, and then find somewhere empty to sit. I am going to change this.

It's clear from your counseling experience that the more you think you are counseling, the more powerless you become. You started out just anxious, but then you became limp, stopped maintaining relationships, and your boss didn't like you anymore. You like to be alone and withdraw to a place.

You have also given yourself a bunch of problems: laziness, comfort, arrogance, vanity, the need for instant gratification in everything you do, a lack of responsibility. It's clear that you've turned yourself into a "patient," regressing, becoming powerless and helpless, with no motivation for life or work. You've even had suicidal thoughts.

From this analysis, it is clear that you have identified with these problems too much. This has caused you to hit yourself, lay flat, and become unable to move.

It's also possible that the counseling went too fast. Before you could process all the negativity, you were back in counseling, discovering new problems, and the cycle continued. You were overwhelmed by these negative traits.

Counseling can also help you experience and recognize the feeling of helplessness from your early years. Once you see this state and emotion, you can understand and accept it.

You don't like this feeling. You want to change. You want to find a new counselor.

Find a resource-oriented, positive psychology background counselor. Don't keep digging up the "ancestral grave" and looking for shortcomings with a magnifying glass. Find resources and treasures, and look at things from a different perspective. Your negative emotions will change.

Furthermore, regardless of the type of counseling you receive, it must be realistic. The objective of therapy or counseling is to return to reality, understand your situation, and acknowledge your emotions, rather than avoiding or withdrawing. Even if you do withdraw, it may only be temporary.

Dear question asker,

After reviewing your account, it is evident that you are experiencing a sense of powerlessness and helplessness, particularly in regard to your motivation and overall sense of purpose in life. This feeling can be quite disconcerting, as though you are striving to escape but are unable to do so.

1. Anxiety

Anxiety is defined as a state of unease, apprehension, or worry that can be triggered by the absence of a specific object or situation. In contrast, fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger, often accompanied by a specific object or situation.

It is my contention that anxiety is a universal phenomenon, manifesting to varying degrees in all individuals. When experienced in moderation, anxiety can serve as a motivating force, prompting individuals to persevere in challenging endeavors. However, when excessive, anxiety can have detrimental effects on both mental and physical health. Anxiety can be attributed to a multitude of internal and external factors.

External factors, such as entrance exams, relationships with classmates, teacher interactions, work-related stressors, interpersonal dynamics, and marital relationships, can all contribute to the development of anxiety.

There are three primary categories of reasons for the development of anxiety disorders: personal, physical, and deeper reasons. Personal reasons include factors such as personality and psychological characteristics. Physical reasons, on the other hand, encompass illness and other physiological factors. To illustrate, consider an individual who is consistently distressed by work-related issues, perceiving their leaders as excessively harsh. Over time, this may lead to the development of insomnia and anxiety.

The development of anxiety disorders is caused by a complex interplay of internal and external factors, with internal factors, especially personality, playing a significant role.

2. How might one identify a counselor who is a suitable match for their needs?

Firstly, based on my own experience, it is preferable to select a counselor with whom you have had prior contact. For instance, you may have attended a class taught by this individual or participated in a salon led by them. Having already established a rapport, the counseling process is likely to proceed more smoothly. This is due to the psychological phenomenon of identification, whereby your subconscious already perceives the counselor as a trustworthy and capable individual capable of assisting you in resolving your issues.

Subsequent counseling sessions are facilitated by the subconscious mind.

Some individuals may be reluctant to meet with a counselor in person, citing various reasons. One potential solution is to at least view the counselor's photo. This approach may offer a more reliable impression than relying solely on information about qualifications, studies, and training background. This is because the subconscious mind processes information in an image-based, emotional mode, while qualifications and education are rational analyses that do not belong to the subconscious mind but to the conscious mind.

To illustrate, when presented with an image of this individual, one may experience a sense of comfort and openness, leading to a willingness to confide. This emotional response is not unwarranted.

One might inquire as to why there is such an emphasis on the subconscious and feelings. In reality, the majority of psychological issues originate from the subconscious and have minimal correlation with the conscious.

In essence, selecting a counselor signifies the inception of counseling. Psychoanalysis posits that when an individual chooses a counselor, empathy is instilled.

Secondly, the counseling session commences following the selection of a counselor. Counseling represents a profound exchange between two individuals. The most pivotal element is trust, which entails the belief that the counselor is capable of providing assistance and assistance in extricating oneself from a challenging situation. Two key terms emerge from this: trust and hope.

Trust is akin to being willing to divulge one's most intimate secrets to another individual.

It is important to note that belief alone is insufficient. A counselor must also provide hope to their clients. This hope is contingent upon the counselor's professional knowledge and charisma.

Such factors can facilitate the client's ability to extricate themselves from their predicament.

3. Reflect on the knowledge gained from each counselor.

It is my contention that each session of counseling will yield some insight, inspiration, and gain. It would be beneficial to spend some time writing down the feelings and inspirations that each session of counseling brings to you.

Please describe the rationale behind your decision to seek multiple counselors. Additionally, please identify any counselors who provided a positive experience.

What precipitated the cessation of the counseling? What characteristics would you seek in a future counselor?

For example, the ideal counselor would be a woman in her late forties or early fifties who exudes a friendly demeanor.

In general, if an individual experiences a sudden loss of motivation, it is likely that there is a psychological factor at play. What, precisely, is the underlying cause? In such cases, the three main areas of consideration are physical, environmental, and psychological factors.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon find a suitable counselor and regain your vitality.

Good day, host. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am Orange, a listener at Yixinli, and a Samsung answerer. I hope my answer is helpful to you.

First and foremost, the individual in question has undergone significant personal changes.

Over the course of more than a year, talking and consulting has led to significant changes in your understanding and perception of yourself. However, it should be noted that each consultant has a different level of expertise.

His educational institution is distinct from the norm. Additionally, you have a history of changing counselors and listeners.

Therefore, you do not have a stable object relationship. Please consider the following question.

The question is why you want to change counselors and listeners. What are your counseling goals?

Please identify the specific issue you wish to address. Additionally, please describe the type of counselor and listener you believe would be most beneficial to your needs.

Please give this question your full consideration. It may prove more beneficial than a great deal of advice from other sources.

As I am asking you questions, it is important that you give them your full attention and consideration. Your responses may not be directly related to the counselor's abilities or other external factors.

Secondly, I empathize with your current sense of helplessness.

From your correspondence, I understand that you are currently single. What is likely on your mind is resolving a relationship issue.

Interpersonal relationships can be classified into various categories, including friends, colleagues, intimate relationships, and relatives. If your objective is to address this aspect of your life,

It is relatively straightforward to identify a counselor with the requisite skills. Many listeners on the platform can also assist you in this regard.

It is crucial to first stabilize yourself. This can be achieved by seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor, establishing a trusting relationship, and maintaining a weekly counseling session. This process is highly beneficial for personal growth and development.

Furthermore, it will be of significant assistance in addressing your current feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. Everyone requires an opportunity to make changes.

There are occasions when we may find ourselves in a situation that we would like to change, but are unsure of the best way to do so. I believe this may be the case for you at the moment.

That is why you are particularly interested in finding a counselor who is a good fit for your needs to assist you in overcoming this challenge.

It is important to note that change requires courage and strength.

It may be beneficial to first consider your future direction. Once you have identified your own path, you will be better equipped to embrace change.

You may wish to consider beginning your search for a counselor or therapist with whom you can work for an initial period of time. I have changed counselors on numerous occasions.

I have been seeking a consultant since 2017. I empathize with your frustration with changing consultants and your expectations of consultants. Therefore, frequent changes of consultants may also be related to our own problems that need to be solved.

However, many issues require a clear and thorough analysis before a more suitable counselor can be identified. It is my hope that the questions I have raised will prompt your own reflection and provide valuable insights.

I have lost my motivation. I used to be able to live my life blindly and arrogantly. After countless sessions of counseling, I discovered different problems with each communication. I have given myself many negative labels: lazy, comfortable, arrogant, vain, wanting instant gratification in everything I do, irresponsible. I have spent the past year and more in torment, and I have even had thoughts of suicide when I was alone to escape.

The questioner's description shows the impact of counseling on you. You may lose motivation in the process, but you will find a counselor who matches you. You can still see your expectations and hopes for counseling and the part of you that hopes to grow in counseling.

If you're confused about how to find the right counselor for you, I can help. Here are some ideas that will help you find the right counselor for you.

1. Review past counseling experiences, identify your counseling preferences, and confirm the direction of the next counseling session.

Since last year, I have been thinking about getting in touch with a psychological counselor, and I have tried several.

These attempts have provided the questioner with invaluable first-hand and intuitive information on selecting a counselor. They have learned that they prefer to communicate with male teachers, seen the impact of various problems in their lives on them personally, and identified their current expectations and needs for counseling.

This will help the questioner to experience and feel intuitively in the future when selecting a counselor.

Counseling schools and techniques will inevitably lead to differences in counseling practices. However, the feelings and experiences in counseling are extremely personal. This is an important dimension of choice for the match of counseling.

The questioner must consider their own bottom-level interpersonal needs for a counselor based on their own needs in interpersonal interactions, such as warmth, sensitivity, and feeling safe.

Once you know what interpersonal needs you are unwilling to touch on, you can immediately determine what you don't want.

Second, you must consider your goals for seeking psychological counseling and determine whether there are alternative paths and methods that can achieve your goals other than individual psychological counseling.

From the comments and replies, it is clear that the questioner is becoming increasingly reliant on psychological counseling. This reliance itself is a perspective that helps you understand what kind of goal you hope to achieve through psychological counseling.

If it is interpersonal interaction or training, in addition to the professional services of individual psychological counseling, the questioner should participate in some mutual aid groups or group psychological counseling. This is less expensive than individual counseling and allows for more multidimensional interpersonal interactions. The questioner should also consider some psychological growth workshops or watching some psychological growth courses. These will help the questioner achieve goals other than psychological counseling.

The method and the form both serve the goal.

3. A walking stick cannot replace walking on your own two feet. Open communication with the counselor during counseling is essential for growth.

The initial consultation was not that serious. At the time, I just felt anxious. Then, every counselor initially said that there was nothing wrong, that I was relatively wise, and that I preferred to communicate with male counselors. The consensus was to just relax and be in the moment. But now I feel so powerless.

These consulting experiences also show that the subject has encountered difficulties in the consultation. There is one unifying characteristic to these difficulties: the subjects all say that there are no problems, they are all relatively wise, and they all agree that the point is to just lay back and look at the present.

These "du"s will undoubtedly be a breakthrough when starting the next consultation. A new relationship is established with a new consultant, and these past consulting experiences will also become the material for interaction between the subject and the new consultant.

The client can work on breaking the stagnation caused by "both" together with the consultant through honest communication and interaction.

I am not exploring human nature. I am exploring the human heart, and I care about it. I wish you well.

Hello, host!

Reading your question, I feel a rush of depression/i-would-rather-my-parents-die-early-and-then-miss-them-after-they-die-how-do-i-reconcile-these-conflicting-emotions-7231.html" target="_blank">conflicting emotions: a sense of powerlessness, but also a hint of unwillingness.

If you were really lying down, you wouldn't be here asking questions! The fact that you can ask here shows that there is still some hope inside.

But life is not a drama or a novel, and there are not so many stories of growing against the odds — so you're in good company!

Initially, I have a feeling, which may not be right, that the original poster is in a state of depression. But I want to give you a warm hug anyway!

I really think the original poster should go to a specialist hospital for a check-up to see if they need any extra medication. It would be great if they could also get psychological counseling!

Sometimes, there really is a match in psychological counseling! I'm sure you'll find yours soon.

If you haven't found a counselor who suits you, no problem! Try doing something you can do now, like going for a jog or writing. The host's writing is actually very clear, and you can try free writing. Find the strength to heal in writing!

I'm sure the poster will get out of this current state soon!

Hello, friend. You seem lonely. I mean you're alone in a way. You have your own thoughts, but few people understand you.

Your family and friends have high expectations of you. You try to meet them, but they don't approve of your goals. They criticize you, so you don't share your thoughts with them.

From an early age, we are told to study and work hard. Then our hobbies are labeled as "useless" and we are told to give them up. It's not that studying and working hard is wrong, but those "useless" things are really who we are.

Our lives are full of joy-deep-conversations-with-the-opposite-sex-yet-feel-unease-skip-if-you-enjoy-moral-judgments-12897.html" target="_blank">judgments.

Lazy and good for nothing.

Actual: likes food and fun.

Lazy and hates hard work.

Actual: I prefer to enjoy life than work hard at things that don't matter.

Judgment: gain without effort

Reality: I deserve good things (water, air, sunshine). The most precious things are free.

What we like and love can bring us joy. Joy is the driving force of our lives. We often reject things we like and love because they don't bring us financial rewards. But that's who we are.

You're caught in a trap. You're being asked to give up the things you like and do the things you don't like. This is draining your life.

I am 32 years of age and am currently engaged in preparing for examinations. The preceding few months were marked by significant challenges due to the demands of examination preparation and the emergence of certain difficulties at my place of employment. This led to a period of depressive symptoms, a loss of interest in various activities, and a general sense of low mood.

I concluded that this approach was ineffective and sought the assistance of a counselor. Previously, I had undergone counseling, which I found to be generally beneficial, except for the counselor's tendency to speak at a rapid pace.

On this occasion, I made a request, with the hope that the assigned teacher would speak slowly, thus allowing us to address any issues that may arise.

The teacher I found to be an excellent fit for my needs, and we have continued to meet for counseling on a weekly basis until the present time. While I still face practical challenges, I can attest to a significant emotional recovery.

Perhaps the most significant lesson learned during this period is the importance of self-acceptance. With guidance from my teacher, I have gradually begun to confront some of the issues I have been avoiding.

It is challenging to confront the issues that have been overlooked. The experience is akin to being pricked by a needle, with a sense of being on the brink of an emotional explosion. In such moments, one might question whether the teacher will be similarly affected. However, with time and practice, one can develop greater tolerance when faced with difficult questions.

Discussing one's personal experiences can convey the message that it is acceptable, that everything will be fine, that problems may persist, but that one can become stronger and more open-minded.

One might term this "chicken soup for the soul." Best of luck.

Hello! I'm so happy you've asked for help. I'm here to support you in any way I can. I also want to congratulate you for being able to grow and improve yourself with the help of others.

It's totally normal to lose motivation after continuously consulting for a long time. It's not because the consultation is ineffective, but because you've become more aware of your shortcomings and the need for change and growth through continuous consultation. However, if you haven't consistently consulted a counselor for a relatively long period of time, you haven't been able to make as many changes as you'd like. Growing and changing through self-awareness takes a relatively long period of time, but you've got this!

Each unscheduled consultation will help you gain more self-awareness and understanding. But if you rush through it, you'll only realize which beliefs and problems are troubling you. To make changes and grow, you need to accept things as they are. So, when you end the consultation quickly, you're also avoiding the emotional and psychological pain that comes with awareness. You're not accepting, avoiding, and rejecting the problems that trouble you, right?

So, the best way for you to change your current sense of powerlessness, anxiety, and inferiority is to try to accept those deficiencies, inadequacies, and beliefs that trouble you, such as occasional laziness, vanity, the desire to be satisfied, arrogance, etc. These are things you've become aware of through counseling, and they're all part of your true self. Try to get along with these parts of yourself, experience them, and become aware of and feel what the real needs behind these behavioral needs are.

For example, think about how it would feel to be respected, accepted, welcomed, appreciated, and admired. What better way is there to satisfy these needs?

For example, try to cultivate some interests and passions for yourself. This will help you feel more in control. Work hard to improve your professional skills. This will help you become irreplaceable in the field you love and are good at. Try to cultivate harmonious and intimate interpersonal relationships. These could be with your parents, your partner, or your friends. Try to learn to better accept yourself. This will help you see both your shortcomings and your many bright spots. You can cultivate confidence and enhance your sense of self-worth by keeping a gratitude journal.

You can also try to directly express your true emotional feelings and needs to your close family and friends to gain their strong emotional support and response. This can be a great way to get the love and understanding you need! Of course, you can also keep an emotional diary to record your awareness and corresponding emotional feelings generated by counseling in writing. This can be a helpful way to better perceive, understand, experience, and sort out your emotions, explore the hidden needs behind them, and thus seek a better way to respond.

So, when you notice you're feeling distressed, even though it can feel really uncomfortable, it's important to try to be kind to yourself. This doesn't mean avoiding, denying or rejecting your feelings, but rather accepting them and trying to manage their intensity by taking deep breaths. This will help you to connect with your emotions in a more positive way and accept them as part of who you are. Only when you begin to accept your true self will you have the strength to make positive changes.

If you're struggling to face your emotions alone, it's okay. You don't have to do this alone. You can seek help from a professional counselor. They'll support you, make you feel safe, and help you find the courage to face your pain. But remember, this transformation from awareness to acceptance and change is something you have to do on your own.

I really hope that sharing my experience can give you some support and help.

Good morning, My name is Liu Qian, a psychological counselor and a listener on the Yi Xinli platform. I am honored to participate in this discussion with you.

The challenge is identifying the most suitable counselor.

From your experience, you can probably see that the previous consultation was unsuccessful. You also believe that was merely an illusion of lucidity.

Assigning oneself so many negative labels is akin to undergoing an operation. Some counseling may merely identify your hidden wounds, but not address them. It's an improvement over concealing them, as they won't become infected again.

It must be acknowledged that the psychological counseling industry in China is currently not very well regulated. As a result, the market is full of both competent and inexperienced practitioners. Therefore, when choosing a counselor, it is essential to focus on the counselor's professional abilities.

If you are unsure of where to begin your search and are concerned about finding a reputable practitioner, registering with the psychiatric department of a hospital may be a suitable option.

It is crucial to maintain eye contact throughout the duration of the working relationship. If there is a lack of compatibility, it will be challenging to continue the collaboration.

However, I have read your post several times and feel that your real need is not only to find a suitable counselor, but also to place all your hopes on counseling. Therefore, I advise you to be more discerning and find a reliable teacher.

It is important to note that one counseling session is unlikely to result in significant growth. Therefore, the more competent the counselor, the higher the fee.

However, it is not necessarily the case that a higher fee indicates a superior ability. Furthermore, it is often not professional ability alone that determines the effectiveness of the counseling, but rather the quality of the counseling relationship. Therefore, chemistry is still the most important factor to consider.

Best regards,

Hello, question owner!

I can see that you're facing some tough challenges, and I want you to know that I'm here to support you. I admire your determination to make positive changes in your life, whether it's through online or offline efforts. You've taken the first step by recognizing your need for self-awareness. I see this as a significant step from where you were to where you are now. When we're open to exploring ourselves, we pave the way for growth and understanding. In your message, you've identified some qualities you feel are holding you back, like "lazy, arrogant, vain, and irresponsible." It's natural to feel this way when we're facing difficulties. It's understandable that you feel a lack of motivation to change. This can lead to feelings of confusion and anxiety.

I'd like to start off by asking you all a question. Can we accept our imperfect selves?

Each of us has a unique background that shapes who we are. Our original family, environment, education level, and the people around us all leave their mark on us. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and some of us are more aware of them than others. When we explore ourselves, we discover our strengths and weaknesses and work to improve them. This can make us better versions of ourselves. It's a good habit to have high expectations of ourselves. So, let's give ourselves permission to embrace a process of change, to accept our shortcomings, and to coexist peacefully with the thinking habits that have been with me for more than 30 years. When we realize that they're popping up, I believe that we're actually changing little by little.

I'm so happy to see you're getting psychological counseling!

Psychological counseling is a bit like traditional Chinese medicine: there may be lots of different reasons behind a symptom. We just need to find out what triggered it, and that can take a little time. If you can, I really hope you can first make an appointment with a counselor you trust, whether online or offline, so that we can explore together and help you. I really hope this advice will be useful to you.

And finally, I just want to wish you a happy life! I want you to give yourself permission to be imperfect, because you are perfect just the way you are!