At two years old, my parents divorced. Why did I become a bad child?

Hello, question asker! I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. I'm sending you a hug from afar to comfort you.

After reading your question, I was shocked by what you've been through. You've worked hard and grown up fast. At such a young age, you've faced more than your share of challenges. Now that you've finally grown up and entered high school, life has really been too difficult for you. I hug you again to comfort you.

You were only two years old when your parents divorced. Your father took you and your sister, but he was not good to you two. He did not truly love you, care for you, dote on you, pay any attention to you, or fulfill his responsibilities as a father. He was an incompetent and irresponsible father. Fortunately, your mother did not get custody of you, but she still took you in from time to time to make up for the loss to you, give you her love, and care for you and take care of you within her abilities. She has tried her best to be a good mother. However, in the face of her own failed marriage, she may also feel powerless, helpless, and hopeless inside. She is also a victim.

You are a sensible and good child, especially sensible. You know to think of your mother, and I praise you for that. I also feel very distressed for you. You are so sensible that you take all the suffering on yourself and bear it alone. Your mother has a new family and has her own children, and you don't want to trouble her anymore, so you choose to stay away from her on your own initiative. What a great kind of love this is!

You are a child, but you have done so much already. You have sacrificed so much to help your mother and her new baby. You are a good daughter and a good sister, and I applaud you.

No hardship in life is wasted. It will eventually come back to you in some way. Your father has formed a new family, and your stepmother is a snake in the grass. She doesn't even spare you and your sister, the two children, and plays mind games with you. Her behavior may create some trouble in your lives and add to your already difficult situation, but you will get through it. Try a little harder and fight back.

You must study hard and arm your minds with knowledge to make your lives easier in the future.

Question asker, I love you and I know you can do it!

Greetings.

The act of embracing you evokes a sense of familiarity and understanding, which, in turn, may evoke feelings of sadness.

I am also a child from a divorced family. In contrast to your situation, my mother and biological father terminated their relationship. I resided with my mother and had no contact with him. I previously believed that having a father was preferable to having no father at all. Consequently, during my childhood, I secretly envied other children.

With the benefit of hindsight, I now believe that my mother's decision to terminate the pregnancy was the correct one. There are cases where the biological father is not a positive influence on the child.

It is imperative to understand that regardless of the underlying cause, it is illegal for the biological father to abuse you. You have the option of reporting the incident to the police. While this may not address the root cause, it can garner attention from the community and law enforcement. The collective concern, assistance, and pressure from society can influence your stepmother and biological father to alter their behavior.

Furthermore, it is in your best interests to effectively stop domestic violence.

It is important to note that men are often inclined to be careless in such matters. In the event that the stepmother harbors suspicions, it would be prudent to take the initiative to reinforce communication with the biological father. It is crucial to avoid allowing him to be privy to only one side of the narrative and to ensure that he is not kept in the dark while he engages in bullying behavior alongside the stepmother.

It is recommended that communication with the mother be maintained, and that the truth about the situation be conveyed. As the child is not yet of an age to present only positive information, there is no need to feign strength.

As a mother, I can attest that regardless of the number of younger children I have, I will never cease to love and care for the older ones. However, due to the inevitable limitations of personal energy, the level of care I provide to the older children may undergo a slight reduction. This does not imply that the mother's love for the younger ones will diminish or replace her love for the older ones.

In conclusion, it is important to acknowledge the sense of loss that children may experience when their parents start families of their own. It is common for children to feel left out or excluded from their parents' new relationships. However, it is crucial for children to recognize that this does not mean they are losing their parents' love. Instead, it is a natural part of growing up and developing a broader family structure. It is essential for children to shift their perspective from feeling like they are losing their parents' love to embracing the reality that they have more step-parents to love them, more people to love them, and more siblings to love each other.

One's views and thoughts on the living environment will affect one's actual actions.

For example, if one adopts a mentality of rejecting the new child, it will be challenging to act in an affectionate manner towards the child. In such a scenario, the step-parents, driven by their natural instinct to protect their child, may also become distant towards the individual in question. This way of thinking is ultimately detrimental to the well-being of all parties involved.

Furthermore, the stepmother and stepfather are not affectionate towards the child because they lack emotional investment. Over time, however, their affection will gradually increase. It is not realistic to expect that the stepmother and stepfather will "treat you as if you were their own" from the moment they arrive. Such expectations would be as implausible as asking an uncle or aunt to call the child "Dad" or "Mom" in the street.

The formation and development of a positive emotional relationship between individuals requires time and a gradual approach.

If one treats those in one's immediate vicinity with a lack of acceptance and hostility, this energy will eventually manifest in a negative manner. Therefore, it is only through demonstrating trust, care, and warmth towards one's parents, siblings, and other family members that one can ultimately foster a harmonious environment and benefit oneself.

Please accept this 360-degree embrace.

Your parents divorced when you were two years old. Subsequently, your father remarried and had children.

Subsequently, your mother remarried and gave birth to another child. Currently, you are a high school student, yet you may perceive that your parents have entirely disowned you.

It appears that your position within the family unit has been eliminated. The family of three is now complete.

I empathize with your situation. Please accept my condolences and allow me to offer you a 720-degree hug.

As a high school student, you are experiencing distress that is inappropriate for your age. Based on your inquiry, it does not appear that you are a morally deficient individual, regardless of whether your father's assessment aligns with your self-perception.

The child in question displays a lack of love, sensitivity, kindness, and a sense of being adrift.

What is the optimal course of action in this situation?

Frankly, I am uncertain as to the optimal course of action. You are still in high school, require parental support, and are dependent on your parents for tuition and living expenses. It is likely that you are not yet in a position to support yourself financially.

You indicated that your father is abusive, yet you did not mention the circumstances of your mother or your sister. Is she employed? It is likely that your sister is currently the individual with whom you have the closest relationship.

This is the reality you face, a reality that is somewhat helpless. The optimal course of action is to pursue a rigorous academic curriculum, enroll in college, secure employment, and become self-sufficient.

This may appear to be a helpless situation. Indeed, life often presents us with challenges that seem insurmountable. However, it is important to recognize that there are ways to navigate these difficulties and find a sense of control. While it may seem that resignation to fate is the only option, this is not the case. There are ways to embrace the situation and find ways to improve it.

However, accepting one's fate does not entail giving up on oneself. It entails refraining from dwelling on the past and instead focusing on devising strategies for optimising one's circumstances and effecting positive change.

You may consider this to be an unconventional approach, but in the circumstances that prevail at this time, the most effective course of action is to pursue your studies. By doing so, you will be presented with the opportunity to effect a change in your circumstances.

In addition, it is possible that your mother is unaware of your thoughts and feelings, so you may wish to discuss these with her. Similarly, it would be beneficial to ascertain the level of support that your sister is able to provide.

As a minor, you are entitled to request assistance from your family members. You may do so with the assurance that you are acting in accordance with your rights. However, it is important to recognize that your requests may not always be met.

It is therefore likely that you will need to develop a greater capacity to love yourself.

I am a psychological counselor who experiences fluctuations in mood, oscillating between periods of depression and periods of optimism. I extend my love and appreciation to the world.

Hello!

I'm really touched by what you've been through. I can only imagine how hard it is for a child when their parents divorce, especially if both parents remarry.

It can feel like the whole world has abandoned you, especially when you're going through a tough time. Even though your parents are still there for you, it can feel like you no longer have a home. I can understand why you might be confused about the concept of home.

I can tell you've always longed for a home, sweetheart.

From what you've told me, it seems like the people around you don't really care about you and you don't feel safe. I know it's tough, but I'm here for you and I know you'll get through this.

There are still so many wonderful things in life waiting for you to discover! You haven't met your Prince Charming yet, and you haven't seen the wicked stepmother fall yet. So, why commit suicide? It's obvious that they made a mistake, and they should have to bear the consequences. But you shouldn't have to bear the consequences, too!

Let them face the consequences of their mistakes. You haven't done anything wrong, so live your life to the fullest!

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. Domestic violence is never okay, and it's important to know that you don't have to go through this alone. There are legal options available to you.

I really think it would be a good idea for you to tell your biological mother about your father's domestic violence and record evidence of his violence. That way, if you go to court, the court can award custody to your mother.

And remember, study hard! I'll say it three times because it's important. Don't punish yourself and ruin your life because of the mistakes of adults. You've got this!

Not every child will be loved by adults. And that's okay! Not every child is lucky enough to be loved. But that doesn't mean they aren't loved by someone.

Read more books to go further and see a wider world, my friend!

Don't you worry, everything will slowly get better. Every day when you wake up, you should be grateful that you can see the sunshine outside your window.

Because there are so many people who will never get the chance to experience the world again.

And finally, I wish you all the joy and good health in the world!