Avoidant personality, social anxiety, sensitive nature, complex human nature, how to cope with it?

Good day!

I'm pleased to hear that you've taken the time to reflect on your own experiences after learning about the differences between supportive and draining relationships.

I hope you will find these thoughts helpful to consider.

From a psychological perspective, a supportive relationship is one that is based on cooperation, joint efforts, and mutual benefit. In contrast, a depleting relationship is one in which one party depletes the resources of the other, creating an imbalance.

In interpersonal relationships, it may be beneficial to consider taking the initiative to establish supportive relationships, as this can potentially promote positive cooperation and growth. Similarly, avoiding or transforming depleting relationships could also be advantageous in improving the quality of relationships and personal well-being.

In a supportive relationship, everyone you mentioned—the husband, son, and current work colleagues—strives to provide help, support, and resources to each other in order to achieve a mutually beneficial outcome, allowing everyone to gain something from the relationship.

It would be beneficial for people in supportive relationships to cherish them, express their gratitude in a timely manner, and try their best to give back to each other.

This can help to strengthen the foundation of mutual trust, which in turn can lead to a deeper mutual respect, trust and understanding, and a better cooperative atmosphere.

It is also possible to maintain good communication and transparency by sharing one's needs and expectations, setting goals and plans together, and supporting, understanding, and encouraging each other in the relationship to work together to achieve common goals.

In a transactional relationship, one person may sometimes rely on the other for support, help, or resources without always reciprocating or contributing as much as they could.

It is not uncommon for these relationships to be short-lived and unstable, which can potentially lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and imbalance.

It may be helpful to clarify your bottom line and needs in expendable relationships in a timely manner. This can help you avoid being over-consumed and learn to refuse unreasonable requests.

You might also consider communicating with the other person, expressing your feelings and needs, and exploring ways to improve or adjust the relationship.

It is still important to set clear personal boundaries, protect your own resources and time, and avoid over-consumption.

If you find that you are unable to improve a relationship that is draining your resources, you may wish to consider seeking support and advice from others. You may also wish to think about whether ending or transforming the relationship might be a solution.

If you are an avoidant personality with a tendency towards social anxiety and sensitivity, you might find it helpful to try the following ways and specific measures in your life:

First, it may be helpful to accept your own character traits and tendencies, understand that avoiding social situations is a natural reaction, and try not to be too hard on yourself or feel confused.

It is important to recognize that everyone has their own unique way of dealing with social interactions and relationships.

You might also consider finding social groups that share your interests, as this could help to reduce social pressure and make you feel more comfortable and confident in an environment where you share common interests with others.

Secondly, you might like to consider gradually challenging your comfort zone. You could set yourself a few small, achievable goals and give yourself a little treat each time you complete them, to encourage yourself to gradually face social situations.

For instance, you might consider exposing yourself to mild social situations by attending small gatherings and going out with friends.

It is important to remember that this will gradually expand your social boundaries step by step, but it is also essential to ensure that you are comfortable.

It is important to respect your own comfort level and personal boundaries, and to allow yourself enough time and space to gradually adapt and cope with social relationships.

Given the different paces and approaches that people take, it is possible to build and maintain social relationships in ways that suit you, and to seek support and help when you need it.

It may be helpful to set aside time for rest and relaxation, and to learn relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga, as a way of relieving anxiety and stress.

If your "avoidant personality, social phobia, and sensitive personality" continue to affect your normal life and work, it may be helpful to seek the support of a psychologist or therapist. They can provide guidance and advice on how to cope with social phobia and a sensitive personality.

For instance, cognitive behavioral therapy, psychological education, and skills training may be beneficial in such cases.

We hope this is helpful for you.

Hello, my name is Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey, and I'm your Heart Exploration coach.

Learning is a wonderful way to break through the fog and broaden your horizons! Understanding is about becoming better and more accepting so that we can live in harmony with life.

Adler once said something really interesting: all troubles stem from interpersonal relationships. Have you ever thought about trying to understand your own fears and insecurities when facing a relationship that consumes you? It can really help you to be more aware of what you are afraid of and what actions make you feel relaxed. You might as well try asking yourself!

I came across an article on the Yi Xinli platform that I found really helpful. It was about how the key to avoiding a relationship is not being able to guide the relationship to your advantage. It was so interesting! It really helped me understand how we can make adjustments when facing a relationship to help us feel more comfortable.

As an individual, it might be helpful to think about what kind of breakthrough you're hoping to achieve through learning. As the saying goes, it's better to have no book than to believe in all books! If learning itself makes you feel more anxious, maybe taking a little break wouldn't be a bad idea.

Regarding the confusion of the questioner, I would gently suggest:

It's so important to understand the issue of avoidance. When we avoid things, it's often because we're afraid of conflict. But if we can reduce our expectations of a bad outcome, it can help us to think more positively. This can really help to reduce anxiety and give us the courage to face things head on.

It can be really helpful to try to understand social phobia objectively. It might be a good idea for the questioner to think about where their social phobia stops.

Even the most outgoing person will have moments of unease in a certain situation. For example, they may be enthusiastically performing on stage, but when it comes to interacting with the audience, they become completely silent. Even the bravest person will feel a little embarrassed sometimes. Understanding your own definition will help the questioner better understand where they stand.

It's so important to understand the nature of sensitivity. People who are sensitive often overthink and catastrophize, but they can try to tell themselves that this is not true, try to be less sensitive, and reduce the association of "it's related to me," especially in bad relationships. In fact, other people don't pay as much attention to us as we think, so there's no need to worry about that!

I once went to work without knowing it myself, wearing two shoes for three consecutive days. It was only on the third day that I noticed I was wearing different shoes, and I'm sure the original poster will be fine too!

It's okay to avoid relationships and ways of interacting that make you feel uncomfortable. In fact, it might even make you feel relaxed and happy! It will be difficult at first to try to say no to unreasonable demands, but when you actually say it, you will realize that it is no big deal.

It's so important to try to accept yourself, because there's no such thing as a good or bad personality. We can all find a way of learning, growing, and getting along that suits us perfectly! It's also good to remember that nobody's perfect, and we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Accepting our strengths and acknowledging our weaknesses will help us to be more self-consistent.

Hey there! We all know that having high expectations of others can sometimes lead to self-defeating behavior. But there's a way to reduce this and focus more on your own life. Try separating tasks into three categories: other people's business, your own business, and the business of the universe. This simple trick can help you feel more in control and happier!

If it's not within your capabilities and you don't have the will, you might try being polite but distant.

It can be really helpful to keep an emotional diary. This can help you understand your emotions better and reduce emotional depletion. It can also help you become more aware of the triggers that make you feel bad, and try to avoid them, so that you can be more positive.

I'd highly recommend reading the following books: "The Courage to Be Disliked," "A Change of Heart," "Cognitive Awakening," "5% Change," and "I Just Like the Way You Can't Stand Me But Can't Do Anything About It."

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, I'm Jokerev. Not everyone knows how relationships affect us.

This may affect you emotionally, but it is also an important step in growing as a person.

We can't change other people, but we can change how we respond to them. If someone is draining your energy, set healthy boundaries. Say no to unreasonable requests, respect your feelings, and reduce contact when necessary.

Try to understand and accept their limitations. Everyone has their own story and reasons. Perhaps they have become "consumers" unintentionally.

When choosing friends, look for people who respect, understand, and support each other. A true friend will help you when you need it, give you advice when you're confused, and celebrate your successes with you.

Joining interest groups, volunteering, and other activities helps you meet friends who are like-minded and supportive.

In relationships with relatives, be polite and kind, but also firm. Let your relatives and friends know what you need from them.

There's nothing wrong with being avoidant, socially anxious, or sensitive. Challenge yourself by taking small steps to improve your social skills. Practice your interpersonal skills in a safe and comfortable environment.

Psychological counseling is also a great way to learn more about yourself and how to manage your emotions.

Appreciate the people in your life who support you, like your husband, son, and colleagues. Also, take care of yourself. When you treat yourself with kindness, you'll attract kind people into your life.

The art of living is balance. Handle relationships well and stay emotionally stable. Every effort is a step towards a better life.

Come on!

Dear Sir/Madam, I am pleased to make your acquaintance.

After studying psychology, you have gained some insight into relationships, which is really great. However, as you have realized, many relationships are energy-draining. "After some comparison, I feel a bit chilled, and I realize that my relationships with relatives and friends are all energy-draining relationships." Therefore, since they are energy-draining and make you feel chilled and uneasy, you can try to set some boundaries and reduce contact with them, so as not to be disrupted in your stable life.

As an alternative, consider modifying your approach to these individuals. With family members, for instance, you may opt to communicate with them when needed but avoid becoming overly invested or meeting with them excessively.

When forming new relationships, it is beneficial to seek out individuals who share similar interests, values, and personalities. It is important to recognize that quality is more important than quantity when it comes to friendships. If you find yourself in a situation with someone who is draining your energy, it is crucial to recognize the need to disengage and maintain a healthy distance.

Those with avoidant personality and social phobia can still lead fulfilling lives. Relaxation and enjoyment are key, and there are many ways to achieve this. Reading, writing, painting, listening to music, and walking are just a few examples.

Select your interests and immerse yourself in them. Socialization is not the sole purpose of life. You also have valuable relationships with your family and work colleagues. When you spend time with them, you should feel content and happy.

Everyone has their own unique way of life. It is of the utmost importance to identify a way of life that is both personally fulfilling and sustainable. "Happiness is to cultivate your own heart, not to cultivate the eyes of others." Do you agree?

I would like to recommend the following book: "Modern Man in Search of His Soul." The author, Carl Jung, is a prominent figure in the field of psychology. This book presents his insights and analysis on the psychological state of individuals in modern society. I hope it proves beneficial.

This is the integration of knowledge and action, and it is my hope that we will enjoy a lifetime of happiness.

If the questioner hadn't studied psychology and didn't know these technical terms, they wouldn't be troubled. Their lives would be the same.

Psychology is a double-edged sword. There's nothing wrong with learning about psychology. It can help you understand your own psychology, emotions, and feelings. However, if you use psychology to compare your situation, you'll fall into the pit of psychology and suffer.

The original poster has now put so many labels on herself that it is difficult to remove them.

Knowing what those situations are does not mean you can decide 100% how to live your life. The questioner's description of an avoidant personality is incorrect. There is only one avoidant personality type. There are three types of personality: introverted, extroverted, and ambivert. I've studied psychology for more than ten years, and I've never heard of the avoidant personality the questioner is talking about. I don't know if I've learned too little.

However, introverts can socialize normally even if they don't talk much. They can choose to make friends with either extroverts or introverts. If you have to be selective, it usually means that you can "get along" and talk together, and naturally you can become friends.

If you can't get along, it doesn't matter if the two people have similar personalities or are nice to each other—they still won't be friends. Conversely, no matter how nice and capable you are, there will always be people who like you and people who don't.

Life is about more than just the necessities. It's also about work, entertainment, and leisure. I want to know how the questioner lived before studying psychology and how they live now. No one's life is always smooth sailing. It's a case of solving one problem today and tackling another tomorrow, one problem after another.

Life is full of disappointments. It's already pretty good to have one or two lucky and smooth things. Accept your current troubles and accept the various aspects of your life. Put the unnecessary things aside for now.

Live in the present. Do your best to do what you should, what you want to do, and what you can do. This will naturally lead to a good life with fewer worries. As for your personality and character, those that are not suitable for eating and drinking can be treated as hobbies. There is no need to invest too much energy in them unless you want to pursue a career in this area.

This is my personal opinion and should be taken as such.

Good day.

From what you have shared, I can appreciate your perspective.

If I may respectfully offer my perspective, the issues you've outlined — avoidant personality, social phobia, sensitive personality, and complex humanity — are all psychological concerns. Each of these problems is intricately connected in some way, while also maintaining a distinct direction.

It is akin to the idiom described by the ancients, "the lotus root is severed but the lotus root is still connected." These states are not treated with medication, so the idiom described by the ancients is "a heart disease needs to be treated with a heart medicine," and the heart medicine here refers to a result.

Or perhaps the most desired outcome in the hearts of people suffering from mental illness. In ancient times, there was no such thing as counseling or guidance, because for the people at the bottom of the social hierarchy, being able to eat was their only pursuit. Only the people at the top would suffer from mental illness, wanting more, demanding more, and possessing more. It was precisely because of this process that the best way to solve psychological problems was to keep them a secret, and the best way to keep a secret was to "die." Therefore, in ancient medicine, mental illness was limited to theoretical heart disease that still required heart medicine.

Secondly, you wrote in your description that you have learned what a supportive relationship is and what a draining relationship is since studying psychology. After comparing the two, you were shocked to discover that your relationships with relatives and friends are all draining relationships. You also realised that only your relationships with your husband, son, and colleagues at your current job are supportive. From this description, it can be seen that you have lost sight of who you really are. If I were to describe you in one idiom, it would be "seeking trouble". You studied psychology because you had questions in your heart that you needed to interpret. When you really knew the answers, you became confused. This is like a story written during a brainstorming session: "A seeker of knowledge searched for famous teachers in order to gain knowledge, and also received advice from many scholars. As he learned more, he became more confused, more afraid, and more ignorant of everything." You have forgotten your original self in this psychological state.

In closing, I would like to address your question and suggestions.

1. How might I continue to face these relationships?

It might be helpful to consider that what you need when facing all kinds of relationships is to forget what you have learned. Sometimes the face of a relationship is not that complicated; it is just a matter of perspective. If you can "retard" and stop thinking about the relationship between each other, then even complicated problems can be solved.

It might be helpful to remember that it's not always possible to make everyone happy. Sometimes it's more important to focus on your own happiness than on trying to please other people.

2. How might one go about choosing friends and dealing with relatives?

There are many ways to choose friends. One general piece of advice is to choose people with whom you have things in common, whether that be a similar language or set of values.

When it comes to relatives, it really depends on your personal values. There's no one right way to do things.

It might be helpful to keep in mind that when it comes to choosing friends or dealing with relatives, the only relationship between the two is what they can give you. This could be a useful standard by which to judge them.

3. How might someone with an avoidant personality, social anxiety, and a sensitive personality best navigate their lives?

People with avoidant personality traits may have experienced feelings of rejection from an early age, and they may have been socially isolated in certain situations. They may also have a limited number of close friends. Although they may have moments of social anxiety and fear of rejection when they are in unfamiliar places, they still have their own family and close friends, and there are also moments when they can relax in familiar circles.

It is important to note that while avoidant personality and social phobia may share some similarities in their symptoms and causes, avoidant personality is generally considered to be more serious than social phobia. It is also helpful to understand that while shyness and introversion are often associated with avoidant personality, they are not necessarily indicative of it. Many individuals may initially display behaviors associated with shyness or introversion during their formative years, but with time and support, they often begin to demonstrate positive growth and resilience during adolescence and adulthood.

Overall advice:

1. It may be helpful to consider that having too many ideas and demands about certain things can sometimes be unproductive. Sometimes simplicity is best.

2. One of the most effective ways to solve problems is to be courageous and give it a try. It might be helpful to take a step that you have never taken before.

3. Reflect on your original motivation for studying psychology. It is possible that the seemingly trivial matters of life might lead you, with only a superficial understanding, to misunderstand the content of psychology.

Please note that the above content is for reference only.

Hello, I'm ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. You've noticed the complexity of human nature. Many of your relatives and friends are in a relationship of consumption, and they may be like black holes, absorbing your energy and your value.

They are slowly taking away your time, energy, and emotions, and you may become depressed. This will affect your quality of life. If you have noticed this, it is time to make changes.

We need to know two words: "information filtering" and "bluntness." When dealing with your relationships with relatives and friends, we must know how to filter out some information and unnecessary interactions.

For example, relatives and friends often gossip about family matters or compare themselves to others. Every year, it's the same topics, and we need to filter out the ones that don't help us much.

And be able to avoid unnecessary interactions. We don't need to believe everything others say.

If you only listen to one side, you'll be ignorant. If you listen to both, you'll be wise. Filter out some things.

Ditch people who aren't important to you, like those who invite you to pointless dinners or tea parties.

Only maintain friendships or relationships that are worth it. Don't take everything someone says seriously.

This kind of bluntness is not anxious and does not dwell on the details. Even if people say harsh things or cause anxiety, we can maintain this kind of bluntness.

If someone says something over the top, I can stay calm and think about it. Maybe they're not as reasonable as they say.

This way, you can stay neutral and objective in difficult relationships.

You know you have supportive relationships with your husband, son, and colleagues at your current job. For these, try to maintain them. For others, remain neutral, filtering out unwanted information.

Avoidant personalities can also take advantage of their avoidance, avoid unnecessary interactions, and social phobia and sensitivity can also help you better identify right and wrong. It is recommended to seek psychological counseling and advice, to gain a comprehensive understanding of your strengths, and to take the Life Foundation psychological test to discover your personality. Good luck!

What?