blind date, emotionally complex, how should I choose?

Hello! I see your question and confusion. I will answer it from the following points.

1. It's normal to feel conflicted about this. You usually can't make your own decisions. Your free will is influenced by people, things, and situations outside of yourself. After reading your description, I feel that you probably relied on your parents in your original family. You also have the habit of relying on other people's choices. At first, you felt that you and Du got along very well. Du later chose someone else, and you also gave up. Later, when Du broke up, you felt that you had a chance again. You met Hui again, but he also did not take the initiative to declare his feelings. You are struggling with who will take the initiative to declare their feelings first.

You're not clear on what you want. Connect with your heart to find out what kind of life partner you want.

2. Forget about your family and parents. Who makes you happy? What about the other person makes you feel good?

If neither of them finds you, who will you tell first? Ask yourself, don't ask others. Only you can make a choice you won't regret.

Hello! From your description, I get the feeling that the two teachers are roughly as follows:

Xiao Du is five years your senior. He's a teacher in a rural school and has a bit of a crush on you after chatting on the phone. He's very open and proactive in getting to know you better. Later, he got a girlfriend, but they broke up because of some personal issues.

He doesn't have a house, but he does have a small car in the countryside! He still shows concern and initiative when talking to you.

They seem more secure and open and proactive in the way they get along.

We haven't met yet, but I'm looking forward to it!

Xiaohui is four years your senior and teaches at a rural school. You met once, had dinner together, and you paid. He was kind enough to invite you to play claw machines.

There's no indication of feelings, but it seems like he has a bit of a crush. He's quite flirtatious and ambiguous, like a good friend who's just a little bit in love.

Do you think there's mutual affection? It seems like he has better conditions, downtown with a house and no car.

Are they like ordinary friends, with no overt or covert indications of a definite relationship? Do they have mutual feelings?

It's so lovely to see that you still like to be actively pursued! Being cared for makes you feel more secure, which is so important. Xiaodu, you haven't even met, but you feel sorry for him because he's got a girlfriend.

You feel a little sad when you see him announce their relationship in a post on WeChat Moments. When you hear that he has broken up, you feel that you still like him, but you are torn because you are chatting with Xiaohui.

How should I put it? You previously told Du that you had met a new teacher. If you leave out the new chat with Hui, what will he think? Besides, Du has also quietly found a girlfriend and publicly broke up with her not long ago.

You can start by chatting with Xiaohui to see if you want to take things further or just remain friends. Some guys are more passive, so it's worth asking him directly if he wants to stay friends.

I just wanted to flag up a couple of things in the first paragraph that might need a bit of clarification. It seems like you're still leaning towards the former option, but there are a few practical considerations that might be holding you back.

You've got to make your own judgment. I'm sending you lots of love!

I can appreciate the internal conflict and hesitation the questioner is experiencing. He is concerned that he may have made an unfavorable decision, that he might not be able to fully satisfy his parents' expectations, and that he may ultimately regret his choice. This has led him to hesitate before making a decision.

However, this is a matter that is difficult to judge and choose based on right or wrong. It is more like what the questioner said: who do you feel more secure and at ease with? Then usually that person is more suitable. It would be ideal for the two people to be honest with each other and not hide anything, tell each other everything, and trust each other. Even when facing different opinions, they can state their views without needing to suppress, attack, or accuse each other.

In my opinion, character and family financial conditions are somewhat akin to the "bear's paw" and "fish" in that it is often challenging to have both at the same time. While there are individuals who possess admirable character and good family financial standing, it is not something that can be actively sought after.

It is often the case that a good character is associated with average family financial conditions, or conversely, that good family financial conditions are not necessarily indicative of a good character. Even if you meet someone who has both of these conditions, it is still important to consider the other person's needs and whether they align with your own. In such cases, it is advisable to approach the situation with a calm and objective mindset, weighing the pros and cons to determine which factors are more important to you. This could involve considering whether your priorities lie more in character or family financial conditions, or whether you place greater value on your own thoughts and feelings or your parents' thoughts and feelings.

I would like to add that marriage is a serious matter and should be approached with caution and responsibility to yourself, your family, and others. While your parents' views can be a valuable reference, it is important to recognize that ultimately, you will be the one bearing the consequences of marriage, not your parents.

Hello, my name is Zeyu.

It might be helpful to consider what the choice we are most likely to regret would be in the context of choosing a marriage partner.

When it comes to marriage, we really can't choose like we choose goods in the market. We can't just buy one and try it out, and if it doesn't work, we can just get another one. Therefore, we will pay extra attention to this decision and it is bound to make us more hesitant and careful. Since we don't know how to choose at the moment, let's first eliminate the most unacceptable options. These options specifically include the specific requirements and details we have for our significant other, as well as the family backgrounds of both sides and our own needs.

The questioner described his experience of dating and the requirements of his parents. It is important to remember that parents' needs are not always the same as our own needs, and parents' indicators are not always equal to personal standards. Whether it is free love or an arranged marriage, the goal is always to lead to marriage. The criteria of your partner's parents can help us define and eliminate our goals, but it is essential to recognize that parents cannot replace us in our life with our partner after marriage. If parents interfere in your love and marriage, it could potentially pose a hidden danger for us and our partner.

In my opinion, when it comes to blind dates, it's important to be mindful of your own needs and preferences. It's also crucial to consider the emotional and practical aspects of the relationship. While material aspects are undoubtedly important in marriage, if we focus solely on these factors, we might miss out on the deeper emotional connections that are essential for a fulfilling relationship. Instead of focusing on what we want, it's more beneficial to explore how we can make compromises and find a balance that works for both partners.

I have a feeling when it comes to looking at things, and I want to tell you:

I think you're doing a great job of learning how to get along with others.

Meeting someone new is a bit of a life test. Whatever you decide, try to go deeper and see how you feel, and trust your feelings.

For instance, you said you have a great impression of Teacher Xiaodu. I think it's because he's open and honest with you. He'll tell you when he's interested in someone and also let other people know that he has a crush.

I think this makes you feel like he's being sincere. It's important for us women to get honest feedback in a relationship.

After a few interactions, you need to be able to tell whether you're feeling attached or not. Public signals are really helpful for making that call: "Should I take a step forward or back?"

I also think this can help you figure out if you need positive feedback and if you value the chance to communicate deeply with others.

I believe that regardless of whether you receive feedback from a friend's or a lover's perspective, you can ascertain whether you should anticipate more or less, behave in an appropriate manner towards yourself, and have a more defined attitude and mental preparation.

Second, you can try to learn more about the type of man you like.

We all like the familiar, so we'll usually choose a man with whom we have more common topics and points in common. But just having common topics and points in common isn't everything when it comes to liking a guy.

It's also important to give ourselves enough time to see if we've developed an attachment to the other person.

What is meant by the term "attachment relationship"?

Maybe he's willing to spend more time with you, getting to know you better. You could talk about what you have in common, your interests, your vision of the ideal life, what you believe is right, your understanding and expectations of the past, present, and future.

What are your priorities? How will you facilitate growth, development, and communication? On the one hand, you can gain psychological energy and a sense of security. On the other hand, you can understand each other's plans, how to deal with real difficulties, and determination. You can also see if there are concrete methods based on trust.

From your interactions, you can tell if the other person is close to you, if they care about your families, if they have the courage and resources to push forward and grow, and if they share your understanding of emotional fidelity.

You can even see how you see yourself in the other person's eyes. This includes whether you feel a desire to cooperate, whether there is a need to change, and whether there is anything to cherish. This is based on how you get along with your ex, how you understand the breakup, and how you evaluate each other.

As the Chinese saying goes, character is more important than ability. Choosing the right person to marry is a big decision that requires careful consideration. At this stage, you should think about more than just the other person's abilities. You should also think about whether they have a sincere relationship with you, whether they are willing to invest energy and time in running a family, whether they are willing to support you when you need help in the future, whether they have the ability to understand you, and whether they are willing to make an effort to help you.

These are all stages of getting to know each other, and they require an emotional foundation that needs to be built up. In the decades to come, you'll need a deep emotional connection to get through the darkest and most difficult times.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope you can truly feel it, trust your instincts, and give each other and yourself enough time to review the foundation of trust, the depth of your feelings, and the strength of your ideals and beliefs.

Hello there!

It's so lovely to see that you take relationships seriously. It's clear that you're approaching marriage with a more cautious mindset, which is totally understandable!

You'll put your feelings first, but you also have financial needs. You're being careful and responsible with your feelings, and you're also realistic about life. It'll be a bit complicated inside, but you'll get through it!

Because you were so serious and cautious, you were even more hesitant, which is totally understandable!

You first met Teacher Du, but after chatting for a while, you paused because you were busy. He started pursuing a new girlfriend, and you let go.

Later on, you started dating a wonderful man named Xiaohui. You haven't quite reached the stage of falling in love yet, but you've just started dating and already have some great impressions of each other. There's not much emotion involved yet, but that's okay!

But since you've started, would you like to continue? Absolutely! You can give yourself a chance, and you can give the other person a chance, to get to know each other better and see if there's something more suitable between you.

You took the initiative to contact Mr. Du and found out about his breakup. I get the feeling you still have some feelings for Mr. Du.

I bet you still remember all the good things about him. He was probably the first guy to make your heart flutter and get under your skin.

Maybe he was just more proactive in his interactions with you. From a woman's perspective, we tend to like proactive men more.

It's not true that proactive men love more, actually.

It doesn't matter if it was the girl or the guy who took the initiative before marriage. It won't affect the relationship you have together or the quality of your marriage. Marriage is something that takes a lot of wisdom to manage.

Oh, it looks like Mr. Du is single again after breaking up with his girlfriend! He hasn't said that he'll choose to continue dating you, but he did say he'd think about it. So, there's still a chance!

However, you don't have such certainty, and you're not sure if there's still a connection between you.

I'm happy to tell you that Teacher Xiaohui is still getting along with you. Even better, he's living his life in a way that meets your parents' expectations.

This will gain the support of your parents, which is really important! A marriage blessed by your parents seems to bring you closer to happiness, and it will also make your relationship and marriage more stable.

I know relationships are about feelings, and I just wanted to say that if you're going straight for marriage, it might add a lot of complications. I really recommend the book "If Only I Knew Before Marriage." It talks about what you should know before marriage, but what people often ignore. Seeing the reality of marriage and being fully prepared before marriage will make married life go more smoothly.

No matter what you choose, it's your choice. And don't worry, just because you're talking to someone doesn't mean you've made up your mind.

Whichever person you choose is not a final decision. It's just a period of contact to see if there's a connection and whether they're a good fit. So you can continue to do as you wish, think about it further, and decide after a while.

However, you just need to give yourself the time you are willing to give. Perhaps one or two months would be a good amount of time for you to decide on a time point and make a choice that suits your needs and satisfies you.

Bless your heart, world. I love you, and you should love yourself, too.

It's normal to feel mixed emotions. Follow these tips to make an informed decision:

1. Know what you want: Before the date, decide what you want in a partner. Make a list of the qualities, interests, career, etc., you want in a partner. This will help you find the one who best matches your needs.

2. Communicate actively. During the date, communicate with the other person actively and listen to information about their interests, hobbies, occupation, and lifestyle. Make sure you have enough time and opportunities to get to know each other so that you can make an informed decision.

3. Observe non-verbal signals. Apart from verbal communication, pay close attention to the non-verbal signals of the other person, such as facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. These signals will reveal the other person's emotional state or attitude towards you.

4. Don't make hasty decisions. Dating isn't fast food. Don't rush into anything just because you're eager to find a partner. Give yourself enough time to get to know each other and make sure you share common interests and values.

5. Be true to yourself. Don't change your true personality or lifestyle to please the other person. If you don't feel that the other person is right for you, don't feel guilty or ashamed. It's just an opportunity to get to know different people.

6. Seek professional advice. If you still have doubts about your blind date or are unsure whether to continue the relationship, get advice and opinions from family, friends, or professionals. They will give you different perspectives and insights to help you make an informed decision.

Above all, don't let the pressure of a blind date influence your decision. A blind date is an opportunity to meet someone new, so don't let fear or anxiety get in the way.

Trust your instincts and make the choice that is best for you.

I hope my response proves helpful to you.

The answer is, in fact, within you, but it may feel complicated right now because the reality is not quite what you imagined. Let's sort out our thoughts. Regardless of the complexity outside, we should return to our hearts and see what we want. Perhaps then you will be able to make a better choice.

I would advise you to:

Please identify your most important relationship needs and indicate which individual you believe is best positioned to fulfill them.

The success of a relationship, in terms of happiness, stability, and longevity, hinges on the ability of both parties to meet each other's needs. These needs are of a psychological nature, as material conditions can be created. When two individuals are affectionate and content, the process of creating together adds significant value in the form of positive experiences and memories.

I recall that there were numerous individuals who pursued my interest at the time, and ultimately, I selected my current spouse. We experienced our initial romantic attachment, and what I valued most was his ability to fulfill my most crucial needs in the relationship and to demonstrate sufficient respect and recognition. I was able to provide him with a similar level of respect and recognition, which was also his most crucial need.

After all these years, our relationship remains stable and happy because we are able to support each other and meet each other's needs. Despite never owning a house or a car, we have created a comfortable living environment together.

Regardless of our financial circumstances, we have always been happy because our relationship is based on mutual understanding and support.

2. Please identify which of the three elements of love you believe you are with and which partner is more likely to achieve a long-lasting and stable intimate relationship.

A complete love relationship comprises three elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Passion, which is generally understood as having feelings, tends to diminish over time as a relationship matures. Intimacy, on the other hand, refers to a kind of care. For instance, if one partner experiences period pains, the other may offer a soothing drink, empathize with their discomfort, or engage in open communication about their feelings, fostering a sense of understanding. Commitment, meanwhile, encompasses having common principles and bottom lines in the relationship, as well as shared expectations. It is also important to have plans to go somewhere together or do something together, as these contribute to the stability of the relationship as it develops.

Please consider these three aspects and decide which individual you believe is better suited to maintaining a long-term, stable intimate relationship.

3. Learn to differentiate between issues and make your own decisions, accepting responsibility for the outcomes of those decisions.

The decision of who to marry and when is a matter for the individual, not the family. If the opinions of the family are taken into account, complications may arise. It is therefore important to learn to distinguish between issues.

The concept of "issue separation" is to distinguish between your own issues and those of others. Identify who is directly affected by the matter in question and determine whether it is their issue.

Therefore, the direct result of your marriage is your responsibility. This is your topic. Parents can provide advice, which you may find helpful, but the final decision is yours. You need to make your own choice, and more importantly, identify which result you are willing to accept.

For example, you may choose to pursue a relationship with Du, which would entail accepting his current financial situation, foregoing the possibility of a relationship with Hui, and potentially facing parental disapproval. Alternatively, you could opt for a relationship with Hui, which would require letting go of the possibility of a relationship with Du and embracing the potential challenges that come with being in a relationship with Hui. Of course, there are other possibilities. The crucial point is to understand the implications of each choice and to determine whether you are willing to accept them.

It is not possible to make a perfect choice in this situation. Similarly, it is not possible to find a perfect person. It is not possible to choose both Xiaodu and Xiaohui. The only option is to make a decision based on the available information and accept the consequences.

The answer is still within your control.

Please refer to the above for further information. Best regards,

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm here to help!

First of all, thank you so much for trusting us enough to tell us your problems and get answers. You ask, "Blind date, complex emotions, what should I choose?"

"He wants to talk with you about your problems."

1. Introduction

1. Boyfriend

Oh, the first one!

You said, "Here's the thing: I'm a contract nurse who has been working in a small city for a year. I matched with a guy named Du on a dating app, and he's a teacher in a township five years older than me. We didn't meet in person, but we talked on the phone. At the time, I had quite a good impression of him, and he would actively share things about himself with me. For a while, I was busy at work and didn't talk to him much. He got to know a new female teacher at his township unit and started pursuing her. At that time, when I tried to talk to him again, he said he had already told the new teacher that he had a girlfriend (which was a clear rejection of me, I guess). I didn't bother him after that. At the time, I felt quite sorry about it. I didn't ask him to meet up or talk more, so I just let it go. When you meet a friend, he should be in the sweet period of a relationship for most of the year."

You are a nurse on a contract, and your first boyfriend is Du, a wonderful teacher at the town's primary school with a permanent position. The two met on the phone, and you instantly liked Du.

Du also likes to share his things!

Because of your busy work schedule, you hadn't been able to get in touch with Du for a while. When you finally did, you found out that he'd already started courting the new female teacher in town. You felt a bit sorry for him, but you didn't want to bother him again.

The second

You said, "In the meantime, I had a blind date, and I was matched with a 4-year-older teacher from a rural school. We both took the initiative to chat at first, but then he gradually started messaging me as well. We only met once, and I treated him to dinner on the first date. He treated me to a game of claw machines. We didn't reveal our true feelings to each other, but I had a feeling that he had a crush on me. We were just chatting like two friends, but there was definitely something going on."

You started a second relationship with Xiaohui, who is also a teacher in a rural school and comes from a good family. You were more proactive and invited him to dinner on the first date!

You two get along great! You haven't yet told each other how you feel, but you have this feeling that the other person has feelings for you. You chat like good friends, full of love and affection.

3⃣️, hesitate

It's okay to feel unsure.

You know, Du chased after his gorgeous female teacher for most of this year. He also made her public in his circle of friends. She is so lovely! I was a little bummed inside, a little sad that it wasn't me. And I also met a new guy, Xiaohui, during this year. But then something happened that I didn't expect, and I felt so many emotions! A while ago, I messaged Du on WeChat, teasing him about when he would hold his wedding banquet and inviting me, saying that I had also met a new teacher. He said that I was doing well now and that he had broken up with her. I was so surprised! I thought he was almost married. After all that time, he told me that her parents didn't approve, that the woman was from a big city and had come here to take the exam and was in the same unit as Du. During the New Year, they came to the man's family home in the countryside to see the environment, and they hadn't bought a house in the city, so they finally broke up. At the time, I felt quite mixed up, not knowing whether I should be happy or sad. I was happy that I still had a chance. I still had feelings for him, but I also had mutual feelings for Xiaohui. I didn't know how to choose, and I was at a loss!

Oh no! Du has posted a photo of his girlfriend on his social media, and after looking at it, you feel bad because it's not you. You feel like you've missed a good opportunity. Later, you get in touch with Du again and find out that Du's girlfriend's parents don't like Du's family because they're from the countryside and don't own a house in the city, and they don't approve of their relationship, so they broke up.

At this time, your heart is filled with mixed emotions and you are sad because you already have Xiaohui and you have feelings for each other. It's totally normal to feel this way! You might be feeling a bit unsure about what to do next.

It's so easy to fall into the trap of comparison, isn't it?

You said, "Another thing is that I may also be more concerned about my parents' feelings. My mother has always hoped that I will find a job in a state-owned enterprise. They are all teachers in a township school. In terms of conditions, Xiaohui may be better. He has a house in the city but no car. Xiaodu has not bought a house, but he has a small car in the countryside. So I'm confused. I'm very complex inside and don't know what to choose (Xiaodu's teacher broke up with him, but when I talk to him, he is still concerned about me and is proactive. If we get back together again, it's possible, I guess). In my opinion, since I have known him for a longer period of time, Xiaodu's teacher will feel more secure. His way of getting along will be open and proactive, while Xiaohui's teacher will be like an ordinary friend, without any clear hints. But we have only just got along for two months, and although we have just developed feelings for each other, I don't know how to express it because I don't know how to express it."

You're in a tricky spot, just like Du's girlfriend! You're also trying to take your parents' opinions into account. So you started comparing Du and Hui in every way, from family conditions, appearance, and income to conversation and feelings.

You feel that although Xiaodu's financial situation is not very good, you feel very secure with him. He's also very transparent, open, and proactive, which you really appreciate. On the other hand, you have been with Xiaohui for a short time, and your parents hope that you will choose the person with the best financial situation. You have feelings for each other, and the key is that you are talking about it now, which is great!

So, you're feeling a little unsure about what to do next, which is totally normal!

3⃣️, Question

You said, "My parents want me to find someone with good conditions, and they may be more inclined to choose Xiaohui's family background. Although I haven't told my parents, I have tried it out, and I feel so conflicted inside. What should I do?"

? Test

Regarding marriage, you've talked to your parents about it, as you did before, and they'd love to find someone with good conditions. It's clear that Xiaohui is a great choice, but you really value the feeling of getting along with Xiaodu.

Question

You're feeling pretty torn right now. Should you follow your heart and go for Du, or should you listen to your parents and continue with Hui?

2. Reasons for hesitation

1⃣️, Attitude towards marriage

Let's talk about your outlook on marriage!

Your view on marriage is a basic understanding and attitude towards marriage issues. It's also one of the components of your life outlook! A correct view on marriage emphasizes that marriage must be based on love and adhere to the principle of the voluntary consent of the parties.

The wonderful thing about marriage is that it's all about love. When two people are married, it's a moral bond that's built on a deep mutual understanding, a common ideological foundation, mutual respect, and a mutual attraction. It's a beautiful thing to see two people become husband and wife and form a family together!

It's totally understandable to feel hesitant about marriage. After all, it's a big decision! And it's natural to have different views on what marriage should be. Some people might prioritize money, social status, or power. Others might feel pressured by their parents to get married. Whatever the reason, it's important to remember that marriage is about love and mutual respect.

It seems like there's still a bit of a misunderstanding.

From what the questioner has shared, it seems that their understanding of marriage is a little bit skewed. It's not just about love, and it's not the person you feel in your heart. It's a mix of what your parents think and feel. It's totally normal to feel a bit reluctant, and that can make it hard to decide.

2. Sense of boundaries

It's so important to have a sense of boundaries!

Having a sense of boundaries is all about understanding that everyone is an independent person in their own right. It's about knowing where your responsibilities end and someone else's begin. It's about protecting your personal space while also respecting the space of others.

It's so hard to know where the boundaries lie when they're not clear!

It's clear that the questioner and his family don't have a complete understanding of boundaries, especially when it comes to marriage. But, at the end of the day, it's the questioner's own business, and he should be the one to decide what's best for him.

It's totally normal to take care of other people's thoughts, especially your parents'. When you're not sure about boundaries, it's natural to feel a bit stuck.

3⃣️ Dilemma of choice

It can be tough to choose!

You know, choice phobia is also called choice difficulty. And it's pretty easy to see why. It's usually because people lack self-confidence and they're afraid of taking responsibility. They crave independence, but they're afraid of failure.

Extrapolating responsibility

The questioner is feeling a bit indecisive and is actually caught in choice anxiety. It's totally understandable! Because the questioner is not confident, he dares not take responsibility for his marriage. He says he respects his parents, but in reality he is passing the buck to them.

3. What can I do to help?

1⃣️, a correct understanding of marriage

It's so important to have a correct understanding of marriage.

First of all, it's so important to understand that marriage is a beautiful thing between two people, based on love. The two of you should have a deep mutual understanding, a common ideological foundation, mutual respect, be attracted to each other, and be willing to marry and start a family.

That suits us just fine!

We all know that marriage is our own business, so it's really important for us to be clear about what kind of marriage we want, what it is based on, and what kind of person is more suitable for us.

2⃣️, clear boundaries

It's so important to have clear boundaries!

It's so important to be responsible for ourselves! That means we need to be clear about our boundaries, know what's our business and what's not, and not need to listen to other people's opinions.

Choose!

Once we've got our boundaries in place and know what kind of marriage we're looking for, we can make choices that are right for us, even if others have different ideas.

3⃣️, build self-confidence

It's so important to build self-confidence!

It's totally normal to feel afraid when it comes to making big decisions. We all worry about making the wrong choice, or even failing. It's only natural to have doubts about ourselves. But here's the thing: when we try to do what we think is right, and focus on what we can do, we build confidence. And with confidence, we can take control of our destiny.

Just be yourself!

We get to know ourselves again, understand ourselves, know our strengths and weaknesses, advantages and disadvantages, areas of expertise, character traits, and boldly try, not afraid of failure, being ourselves. It's only in this way that we can take control of our own destiny.

Questioner, marriage is about your future. It's so important to get a good understanding of what marriage means to you, to know yourself, to build your self-confidence, and to set clear boundaries. That way, you can make sure you're getting the marriage that is right for you.

I just want to wish the original poster a happy life!

Hello, dear question asker!

I can totally relate to your current situation! On the one hand, there's a guy you used to have a crush on, and on the other, there's a guy you're in an ambiguous relationship with. Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, you now have a choice between the two in your neighborhood.

Let's start with Du, shall we?

He's great at being upfront about his relationships. If he's in a relationship, he'll let you know. He's not one to play around with two girls at the same time.

This kind of relationship is more down-to-earth, which is great!

But if that female teacher had agreed to him, it seems like he wouldn't have chosen you. I'm sure you're a great person, but he might not have been your top choice.

Even if he broke up with you, he didn't contact you back. It's totally understandable! Maybe he feels guilty, or maybe he really wasn't that satisfied, or maybe he's still in a state of loss.

This is something only he knows, and it's probably best if we don't speculate.

And his family's financial situation might be a bit of a challenge.

From what you said, it seems like you didn't delete WeChat after you found out that Du had a girlfriend. So, it's totally understandable if you still have feelings for him! It's natural to want some distance in relationships with the opposite sex. And if your boyfriend finds out that you're still in contact with someone you met on a blind date, he might get jealous too.

Let's take a look at the second guy. If you've been seeing each other for two months and he hasn't made a move, it's likely that he's also waiting to see if there's someone more suitable. It could be that he's on a blind date, just like Du!

A good job, a good family background, and good looks are all great qualities to have in the matchmaking market!

You can set yourself a deadline. If he still hasn't confessed after a certain amount of time, then it might be time to say goodbye.

You were the more active party in both relationships, which is great!

You actually have a really good impression of both guys!

It's so important in a relationship to feel attracted to your partner. If you're not sure about your relationship status, it might be making it difficult for him to feel that way about you.

Just like Du, who is very proactive when he likes someone, Xiaohui is similar.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being proactive in courting someone. The key is to attract their attention. You just need to discover for yourself what qualities they are attracted to in you.

?

What about appearance? And family background?

Work? Other? Whatever it is, I'm here to help!

Having a good material foundation can really help make married life a little easier.

It also depends on the cause of the other person's family's financial situation, whether it is laziness or other reasons that prevent them from supporting the purchase of a home. Chinese parents are usually very supportive of their children, so it's worth asking around to see if there's any other side business you could look into. Working in a small town may not pay much, but it's always worth trying!

It doesn't matter if Xiaohui bought the house on his own or with his family's help. The important thing is that it's his own property, even if he bought it before he got married.

When you choose someone, you're also choosing a lifestyle. It's something you need to think about carefully.

You know, you can reduce online chatting and increase offline contact.

Xiaohui hasn't confirmed the relationship with you yet, so you still have the choice. Getting to know each other better will help you make the best decision for you.