Born in the countryside, with a weak family background, afraid of being bullied, how to adjust one's mindset?

Good day, classmate.

I have carefully reviewed your description and can appreciate the concerns and challenges you have outlined. However, I also recognize the determination and resilience you have demonstrated in striving to alter your perspective. I commend you for your courage in taking this step.

As humanistic psychologist Adler once observed, the significance of an event is not determined by its occurrence, but rather by our interpretation of it.

Our circumstances include being born in a rural area and having a less than optimal family situation. These factors are not within our control. However, our response to them is a key determinant of our future.

In other words, we have the option of accepting our circumstances and adapting our behavior to fit them.

Naturally, we have the option of selecting a more confident, hard-working, and self-improving approach, while also striving to excel in our studies and interactions with others.

The most effective way to improve one's circumstances is to enhance one's personal capabilities.

I highly recommend you read the book The Courage to Be Disliked, which provides a profound analysis of human nature in relation to inferiority.

The book posits that our sense of inferiority is what enables us to exceed our own expectations.

Consequently, the circumstances of being born in a rural area with limited resources may not be a disadvantage, but rather an opportunity for growth and development.

I hope that my colleagues will make their own decisions. I have a lot to think about, and I want to express my gratitude to the world and to you.

From your written description, it is evident that you perceive the countryside to be inferior to the city. Additionally, your father's handling of situations has instilled a sense of inadequacy, particularly in terms of providing protection for you and your sister.

At the age of 21, you are still young and have many possibilities. It just depends on whether you are willing to embrace change. In fact, everyone has some degree of inferiority complex, which they may hide in different ways.

For example, consider ways to enhance your personal strength. Given your age, I will share my own views on this topic, which you may find helpful as a reference.

First and foremost, we are in an era of value exchange. It is imperative that we approach people and things with a purposeful mindset. In both academic and professional settings, individuals with positive energy and intelligence are able to foster connections and gain the trust of others.

Such individuals are also held in high regard and are able to influence others through their strength of character. How can you enhance your own personal effectiveness?

This may be something you should consider.

Secondly, the internet offers numerous opportunities for self-improvement. Those who are willing to invest the time and effort will undoubtedly see positive results. For instance, developing high emotional intelligence through effective communication is a valuable skill.

A kind word is like a warm winter, and those who know how to speak nicely have also improved themselves through learning. There is a certain method to everything, and when you understand the skills of handling things with a high EQ, your interpersonal relationships will also greatly improve.

Do not expend time on those superfluous brief videos. Instead, consider viewing more videos on high emotional intelligence and psychology. I encourage you to do so.

Next, enhance your value by obtaining certification. Leveraging the internet to develop new skills will expand your employability and make you a highly sought-after candidate.

It is also worthy of respect. People are not concerned with your background; they are interested in your current capabilities.

Therefore, it is important to study hard.

Finally, when you reach marriageable age, you should seek out a partner who can motivate you to enhance your personal growth, equipping you with the knowledge to navigate the nuances of marriage and family education. Later, when you have children, you will also require a foundation in family education. Don't you feel like there is so much to learn?

Investing in yourself is the optimal investment, and there is no time like the present to learn! Low-quality companionship is no better than high-quality solitude!

It is recommended that you begin by making changes to yourself.

Hello!

Your message shows me a young man full of passion, who wants to change his family situation! You are courageous and able to recognize your own problems. I applaud you!

You mentioned fear of being bullied and feeling inferior. These are normal feelings.

The famous psychologist Adler studied how inferiority affects the human psyche and defined concepts like inferiority complex and inferiority feelings.

In his book "Inferiority and Transcendence," Adler explains the feeling of inferiority: "Each of us has a different degree of inferiority because we all find ourselves in a position that we would like to improve. If we maintain our courage, we can free ourselves from this feeling by improving the situation."

No one can tolerate feelings of inferiority for long. They must take action to relieve the tension.

Reading this, you may understand that our feelings of inferiority and fear are valuable because they give us hope that we can become better.

How do we become better?

This passage answers that.

What do we need to do to improve things?

Here's my answer:

We need to face our hearts, our inadequacies, and our shortcomings!

For example, you are afraid that others will look down on you because of your home, but you cannot accept it. Similarly, when others point out our shortcomings, we feel bad or even angry, but that is also when we cannot accept these shortcomings.

Why are we afraid, uncomfortable, or disgusted?

We don't have the courage to face our shortcomings. We want to be perfect, but we're not. We have strengths and limitations.

We need to face ourselves, understand ourselves, and accept ourselves. Then, our views will change, and so will our inner world.

Improving the environment is about improving your state of mind!

You can accept yourself.

A positive and loving attitude is a good choice.

There are two sides to everything. When we feel inferior or angry, we think negatively. But if we look for positives and learn from our mistakes, we can overcome them.

Learn about positive psychology. I think it will help you!

I hope this helps!

Best of luck!

April 1, 2022

Hello!

At first, when I saw the title "Born in the Countryside," I was like, "No way! Don't label yourself with a geographical term!"

After opening this page, I have a much better understanding of your story!

It turns out that you are actually very open-minded and can get along well with the people around you, which is great! "I also have classmates from the countryside, and I don't feel that they are inferior.

"There is a wall inside, and a good drainage system. There is a city within you that lives its own life.

But this wall is not very strong, and you are afraid that you cannot protect yourself.

You used the word "weak" to describe your parents. From the perspective of a bystander, this is due to the love you have for your parents, which makes you want to help them improve.

You're also observing how your parents are raising your younger sister, and it's going great! It seems that your parents have the same influence on you and your younger sister, so your relationship with your younger sister will be fantastic. You can establish more unified values and warm each other.

Guess what! The limitations of parents don't only occur in rural areas. They also happen in big cities!

When you judge the cause of a certain limitation, that may be correct, but here's the good news: you can choose to shed this limiting layer and live a better life with more backbone! Let yourself absorb the good nutrients of history and society.

Self-education is the absolute best way to refine the essence and discard the dross!

I have recently been reading about the fascinating scientific research results related to the Yangshao culture. It's a truly splendid civilization from the Neolithic Age!

At that time, every household lived in the countryside, and their pottery evokes the idealism of having a grand vision and a starry mind.

Absolutely no need to be inferior! Just remain humble and keep on keeping on!

No need to feel guilty, just keep forging ahead!

There's absolutely no need to be harsh! Just remain calm and positive!

No need to worry! Just stay high-spirited!

I wish you could find the key to unlock the treasures of the spiritual world!

Good morning, my name is Xin Tan and I am Coach Fei Yun. I will provide you with a warm and attentive ear as you share your story with me.

I empathize with your situation. Your self-confidence has been influenced by your background, family circumstances, and your parents' strength, which has led you to perceive yourself as inferior to other students.

As you mentioned, you have a high level of self-esteem, which is why you are concerned about the reactions of others. At the same time, you are also very honest, admitting that you are somewhat hypocritical and do not want your classmates to see your family situation when you video chat with your parents.

"Everything that happens is bound to help me," at least from the above, I can see that you are positive, enterprising, and unyielding, as well as being truthful and honest. I believe you have the potential to be a valuable asset to our team.

Let us examine these issues and their solutions.

First, we will examine the concept of an inferiority complex.

An inferiority complex is a form of self-evaluation that leads to the belief that one is incompetent and weak. This often results in a feeling of inferiority compared to others. However, research has shown that this self-evaluation is inaccurate. There is no significant difference in ability between individuals with and without an inferiority complex.

An inferiority complex is a form of self-evaluation that leads to the belief that one is incompetent and weak. This often results in a feeling of inferiority compared to others. However, research has shown that this self-evaluation is inaccurate. In fact, individuals with an inferiority complex often possess the same abilities as those who are confident.

Everyone has their own inherent patterns, which they initially observe and learn from their family and parents, and which they often bring into their various relationships.

I recommend the book Inferiority and Transcendence for your consideration. The renowned psychologist Adler experienced feelings of inferiority from an early age. This book posits that we all possess an inferiority complex, and that a certain degree of perceived inadequacy provides the impetus for action and a drive to excel.

Confidence is defined as having faith in oneself and a positive outlook on the future.

A person's self-confidence is closely tied to their sense of self-worth. Self-worth can be defined as a subjective evaluation of oneself. A child who is frequently affirmed, praised, and approved of by their parents will typically exhibit a high sense of self-worth and confidence.

It is likely that children who are constantly criticized and rejected by their parents will become easily hurt, sensitive, and suspicious, and will develop a low self-esteem.

As children, our parents served as our primary source of emotional support and guidance, providing us with the psychological nourishment necessary for healthy development.

As adults, we have the opportunity to serve as our own significant others and nourish ourselves.

The most straightforward and impactful method to enhance your self-worth is to consistently provide yourself with constructive feedback, affirmation, praise, and acceptance.

How can we optimize our personal well-being and achieve greater happiness?

It's a straightforward process: take stock of your current situation and express gratitude for what you have.

It's a straightforward process: take stock of your current situation and express gratitude for what you have. This is an effective method for achieving happiness.

Individuals who demonstrate this quality are often referred to as "optimists," while those who consistently dwell on potential risks and perceived shortcomings are typically regarded as "pessimists."

Similarly, optimism and pessimism are habits and patterns of life. Psychological research has demonstrated that optimism can be cultivated. One key reason why optimists focus on what they have or what is good is because they feel secure enough.

It is therefore possible to transform a pessimist into an optimist by enhancing their sense of security. The opposite is true for the pessimist, who focuses on negative things. One fundamental reason is that they feel insecure about the world, the people around them, and the environment they are in.

A sense of security is a psychological need that stems from a desire for stability and safety. It is characterized by a sense of confidence and freedom from fear and anxiety.

A sense of security is the anticipation of potential physical and psychological risks, coupled with an understanding of one's capacity to navigate these challenges.

This feeling is often expressed as a sense of certainty or a sense of control.

Security can be enhanced through both external and internal means.

External factors that contribute to a sense of security include a robust social security system, financial stability, and influence.

(From your text, it is more emphasized that the inferiority complex stems from parental influence, manifesting as external seeking and external attribution, such as material things or others. Once these external sources are removed, individuals may experience disappointment or despair.)

Inner: Individuals with a high sense of self-worth demonstrate confidence in their ability to navigate future challenges and believe in their own capabilities.

An individual with a high sense of self-worth is capable of leading a carefree and stylish life, even in the absence of social welfare protection, a favorable background, appearance, or material advantages.

An individual with a high sense of self-worth is capable of leading a carefree and stylish life, even in the absence of social welfare protection, a favorable background, appearance, or material advantages.

I would like to direct your attention to my article, "It turns out that the root cause of psychological problems is it." You can find it on my personal homepage.

I would like to direct your attention to one of my articles, entitled "It Turns Out That the Root Cause of Psychological Problems Is Itself." You can access this article on your homepage by following the link below.

A comprehensive definition of self-worth is provided. Security is derived from an individual's sense of self-worth. Enhancing self-worth can foster a sense of security. The perception of value can be enhanced through both external and internal strategies.

I hope the above is helpful to you. Best regards, [Name]

I hope the above is helpful to you. Best regards,

Should you wish to continue the dialogue, please click on the "Find a Coach" link in the top right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will then be happy to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

If you wish to continue the conversation, please click the "Find a Coach" button in the top right corner or at the bottom of the page. I will then be able to communicate with you further.

Go out and bring back success, my friend!

Even though the rural environment might not be the easiest place to live, there are actually not many people who truly laugh at the countryside from the bottom of their hearts. It's just that you might feel a bit down on yourself sometimes.

If your family is not well-off, the first thing you should think about is how to change the situation. You are an adult now, and you should shoulder this responsibility. Don't worry about what others will think. You've got this!

It's totally normal to feel like your father is weak, but you can't let that stop you. Every family needs a pioneer to lead them towards prosperity, and you're perfectly suited to be that person!

If you leave the countryside to study, start a business, and become successful, your family will still be the same, and the people will still be the same. But you'll no longer feel inferior because you've changed yourself and have the ability to change your family!

Learning and growing is the most important thing you can do!

Always remember to keep a smile on your face and put your own learning and growth first.

Show your courage! The strong never dwell on what fate has given them; they only care about what they can create with the resources they have. You'll understand that the greatest resource for success is courage only after you succeed.

So, being born in the countryside is your destiny, but not your fate. And you have the power to change it if you want to! Many people don't change because they accept their fate and don't believe that it can be changed. But today I tell you that fate is fixed, but it can be changed.

Once you know that destiny can be changed, I think the rest is a matter of having the courage to do it. And I'm here to tell you that you can do it!

Wishing you all the best!