Conflicts during online classes have caused them to stop speaking to each other. How should the mother and daughter deal with their relationship?

I would love for the original poster to put themselves in my shoes!

The great thing about working from home is that you can fit your work around your life, not the other way around! But with this flexibility comes a few extra steps to make sure everyone's on the same page. Some companies require a video chat every hour to check in on work progress, and some even have the camera on the whole time. This helps supervisors keep an eye on things and make sure everyone's on track. The lines between work and personal time are becoming blurred, but that's not a bad thing! Even when you're not at work, you might get a message from your boss or a customer asking for an update. It's all about being available and ready to jump in when needed.

It's not just one or two days, but a whole week or even a month of working from home!

Maybe she didn't raise her fist in front of the camera, but I bet she was thinking some pretty colorful things about the customer and the leader!

Three years of online classes and home learning, without friends to share your thoughts with, without the most basic social interaction; every day you can only face an iPad or a mobile phone. If you don't understand the class, you don't have the opportunity to ask the teacher, which means you get to learn even more! There are a lot of homework and exams, and you must submit them within the specified time, which means you're really getting to know your subject. Mom and dad are afraid that you will fool around, so they open the door and come in every half an hour to check up on you, which means they're really interested in your progress. On the surface, they bring in fruit, but in reality, they are checking to see if you are playing online games, which means they're really invested in your life.

Maybe you've just finished writing an exam paper and opened WeChat to chat with your classmates to relax a little. But wait! Your mother happens to see you and scolds you, "Have you finished your homework? All you do is chat!"

Online classes are the ultimate test of self-discipline. If you let up for even a moment, you'll be left behind! But you're doing great!

Finish your homework and go to bed early! You've got this! Your eyes are glued to the screen the whole time, but you're not going to go blind.

It's not just one or two days, it's a whole week or even a month of online classes at home! Who knows when it will end?

The child is raising his fist, not to hit his mother, but to express his pain to her. He's hoping to have a moment of respite, hoping that his mother can understand his negative emotions and psychological pressure, and hoping that she can shut up and open her ears to listen to his heart.

The epidemic is having a huge impact on children's mental health, especially on middle school students who are going through adolescence and craving social interaction with their peers.

So, I say we put aside the fist-raising and self-hitting for now and dive right in to explore what the child is trying to tell us! It's more important than worrying about whether to take the initiative to talk to the child.

I'm so excited to share this with you! It's just a suggestion, but I think it could really help.

Dear question asker,

Adolescence and online classes can present a challenging combination, but you are not alone in navigating this terrain. You are not alone on this journey, and neither am I. Let's extend a hand and a gesture of solidarity to all the parents out there who feel the same way.

In response to your inquiry, I advise that you take the initiative to communicate with your child. As an adult, you possess the capacity to regulate your emotions and navigate relationships. Your daughter, however, is still in the process of developing these skills. Your words and actions serve as a crucial source of guidance for her. By taking the lead, you can instill two key lessons in her:

1. When facing any challenge, first identify the root cause and take ownership of your actions.

2. Adopt a firm but fair approach to yourself and others.

Let us discuss the reasons why it is advisable to take the initiative.

1. Gain an understanding of your child.

You indicated that you have always had a good relationship with your child, which suggests that your daughter has consistently demonstrated good behavior and maturity. During the online classes, your child stayed up late to complete their homework, which indicates that they are dedicated and hardworking, and that staying up late to do homework is not unusual for them. It is important to empathize with the challenges and pressures that children face.

It is clear that the learning effect of online classes is not as effective as that of offline classes. While the learning tasks remain the same, the learning atmosphere and interest have been significantly reduced. When coupled with the temptation of facing the computer and tablet every day, this can test the child's self-discipline and learning ability even more, particularly during puberty when internal conflicts may arise. However, the fact that she raised her fist but did not commit an error shows that she has a certain ability to control herself.

It is essential for parents to accept, tolerate, and guide their children.

2. In family and relative contexts, emotional communication is of greater importance than logical discourse.

As a parent, I empathize with your frustration and sadness. It is inconceivable for a daughter to strike her mother, let alone raise her fist.

However, parents must be willing to forgive their children because they are still learning. Mistakes are an inevitable part of the growth process. Each mistake presents an opportunity to identify problems and learn from them.

It is essential to maintain family relationships through a foundation of love and affection. Only when the relationship is smooth will there be a foundation for solving problems. Parents must focus on winning their children over, rather than trying to win them over.

What is the recommended course of action?

1. Unconditional does not imply unprincipled.

It should be noted that parents unconditionally accept their children, allowing them to lose their temper and make mistakes. However, this is not the same as being unprincipled. Once a positive relationship has been established with your daughter, it is an opportune time to educate her on how to manage anger appropriately and to instill in her a sense of right and wrong.

2. Establish effective communication channels.

First, take the initiative to improve the relationship, then express your understanding of her situation and feelings, and finally let her know that her mother will always be available to assist her, accept her, and support her. Express your concerns, and explore ways to improve efficiency in completing homework assignments together, remembering that your daughter is the primary person, and you are only there to provide assistance.

Show her respect, confidence, and support.

The aforementioned opinions are my own, and I hope they will be of benefit to you. I also hope to receive your feedback and discuss them with you further.

In conclusion, I suggest reading "Positive Discipline." I wish you the best of luck!

There are two main issues here. First, you need to take the initiative and talk to your child.

It's good to take the initiative to talk to your child after getting angry. They'll also be willing to respond to your questions. But why didn't you answer later? Because the last question was wrong. After a conflict between parents and children, it's not necessarily the child's fault. You directly asked her to apologize and used a question like this, which forces the child to admit that he is wrong and blames the child for being wrong and not apologizing.

Just imagine you were in my daughter's shoes. At that moment, I would also be quiet because there's no way for the child to communicate with the parent.

The issue is that parents need to have a clear understanding. Parents and children need to be clear on who is in charge. Even if parents make a mistake, children can't just "righteously" yell at them because there's no negotiating position when the two sides are not equal.

So, parents should take a gentle approach and guide their children in this situation.

You started off with a good question, asking the child if he knew why his mother hadn't spoken to his daughter. This is guidance.

So how can we make the follow-up Q&A better? It's about understanding the main issues you need to address. Should we focus on homework or the move to hit someone, which needs to be dealt with more? I believe the mother knows best. You can tell your child how you feel directly. Mom was very sad when she saw your actions that day, and of course she was also very angry, but more than anything she was worried, worried that something had happened to my child, otherwise she would not have reacted like this to her mother. Would you like to talk to mom?

2. The urging of homework during online classes also triggered the incident.

The child definitely doesn't want to work that late, and there is less time for rest. We need to find the cause. Online classes cannot be taught in the same way as face-to-face classes. Students' thoughts can follow the teacher's pace all the time, and they can get distracted.

It's important to remember that kids can't be blamed for this. It's perfectly normal. Even adults have trouble concentrating on online classes all day. This can lead to some knowledge points being missed or not learned, which will then show up in homework. If they don't know how to do it, they'll be slow.

So we learned that the key is to teach kids how to preview and review after class in advance, including focusing on problems and asking teachers or classmates after class.

Another possibility is that there's no atmosphere at home for doing homework, so it's easy to get distracted and put it off. We can try to create a learning atmosphere by not entertaining the child while they're doing homework. That way, they don't feel like they're the only one working.

It's important to put yourself in their shoes. When you're at work, you're the only one putting in the work while your colleagues are goofing off. Even if you're just doing your own work, it's hard not to feel uncomfortable. In addition to the atmosphere, there's also time management and a balance between work and rest.

There's a break time, and when kids have time to play, they're more likely to stay focused when they should be working. She's now fifteen and can plan her own schedule according to the curriculum and at her own pace.

The last possibility is a combination of her behavior and the situation. This is also the most important thing to pay attention to. When a child reaches adolescence, they have their own concerns.

If your daughter is willing to talk to you about it, great. If not, while giving her personal space, also give her support. You can tell her that you were also a girl and went through puberty. If there is something troubling you now and you don't know how to solve it, you can definitely seek help from your mother. It will be a secret between just the two of you, even your father won't know. If your daughter feels trusted and supported by you, there is a high chance that she will open up. Plus, your relationship with her is already pretty good.

I'm ten years older than your daughter, and even ten or so years ago, I would have had conflicts and arguments with my mother. But a mother's role in her daughter's heart is irreplaceable. After a conflict, even as a child I knew I was in the wrong. But adolescence can be about saving face, and I was not willing to apologize. That didn't stop me reconciling with my mother, though. The reason is that my mother would tell me about her childhood. She said that when she was young, she was even more naughty than I am, and her grandmother always chased after her and beat her. She even used to climb trees to hide from her grandmother.

In that moment, it felt like my mother was speaking to me as a child, not as an adult. We were able to understand each other and communicate effectively.