Confusion, having experienced a marriage that lacked affection both before and after marriage, merely for the sake of convenience.

Give the questioner a hug! I can feel the confusion and helplessness in the questioner's heart. This marriage has reached the point of divorce, and the questioner knows they need to examine themselves for their own problems. They should think about what kind of marriage partner they want. Only with the right marriage partner can they build the marriage they want.

To find the right marriage partner, you must have a clear idea of what you want. This includes things like height, weight, character, education level, and income. Once you know what you want, you can quickly and accurately find the person who is right for you.

To enter into marriage, you need more than just a marriage partner; you also need a certain emotional foundation. A marriage without an emotional foundation is like a high-rise building without a foundation; it will collapse in a strong wind. That's why the questioner also needs to spend some time with their marriage partner before getting married. They need to get to know each other better and develop a certain level of emotional attachment. Only when they have reached a certain level of emotional attachment and are ready to get married should they consider getting married. It does not mean that they will get married if they get pregnant again as they did last time.

The questioner must examine themselves. They must know what they want to examine, what they did wrong, and what to do after the examination. Do they need to continue making the same mistakes, or do they need to reflect on the mistakes and change what is wrong with them? The questioner must think about this for themselves.

The compatibility of the two parties before marriage affects their ability to enter into a successful marriage. Similarly, the communication and interaction between the two, as well as the expression of emotions, are crucial for a stable and harmonious marriage. It is evident from the situation described by the questioner that both aspects are lacking and require attention.

These are just some of the problems. The most important thing is the questioner's views and expectations of marriage. These will directly affect whether the questioner has an equal status and can express herself normally and easily in front of her partner. The questioner will only know whether she can find the right person within two years and whether she will marry the colleague who is pursuing her when the time comes.

However, if the above problems are not resolved, the questioner will encounter similar problems and similar results regardless of who they marry. If these problems are resolved, the questioner will clearly know what kind of married life they want and have a firm belief and strength in their heart, enabling them to naturally have the married life they want.

The above are my personal opinions, which I hope the questioner will find useful.

Hello, lovely people! I'm Kelly Shui, and I'm here to chat with you about my experience in marriage. I've been through a period of time that I think is complicated and at the same time makes me a little confused. I'd

Hi, I'm Kelly Shui.

[Confused, having experienced a marriage that wasn't emotionally fulfilling before or after]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I think you're really brave for asking this question. It sounds like you've been through a lot and are feeling a bit confused and lost.

Let's chat about it together, OK?

[About yourself]

I can see that you got married after becoming pregnant after a drunken date, and you felt lost. I'm not sure how your family felt about the marriage at that time, and did anyone give you any advice?

It's so true that we may need to do some self-exploration before or during marriage. Many people don't know themselves very well, and they're not sure what kind of marriage they want or what life will be like after marriage.

No matter what happens, it's so important to remember what we've gained from this relationship.

I truly believe that every step in life counts. Many people fall in love for eight or ten years and eventually realize that the other person may not be right for them.

I'm sure you can relate to this, but I'm a person who feels insecure. My early family relationships made it really difficult for me to trust in intimate relationships. I even had countless thoughts of divorce during my marriage! I realized that I still needed to understand and explore myself. I sought out a counselor, and it was so helpful! We talked about everything from mother-daughter relationships to intimate relationships, from childhood insecurities to marital distrust. It was so eye-opening to see how my thoughts and perceptions had limited me in so many ways.

I'm so grateful for this marriage now, thanks to all the learning I've done along the way. I've experienced a lot of pain and confusion, but I've finally discovered that the only way to change myself is to understand my own heart. It's so important to seek professional help when we're in a relationship or when we're facing problems. We're all imperfect, and that's okay! Accepting ourselves, accepting the past, understanding our own strengths and some of the thoughts that hinder us, believing in ourselves—it's all about taking that slow, steady journey of change.

I think it's really important for us to explore and grow as individuals more now. I truly believe that when we understand what we need, we will find the perfect other half for ourselves.

[Growing in a relationship]

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through a divorce. It must be really tough to go through a marriage and then divorce alone. I can imagine it's caused you a lot of pain and injustice.

At this time, I encourage you to accept yourself. What happened in the past is already in the past. Allow what happened to happen. At that time, you were also full of uncertainties about life. No matter what happened, you bravely chose to get a divorce. I admire your strength and courage!

Perhaps divorce would be the best outcome at that time. You understand your own feelings so well! Seeing that you mentioned that a colleague has also been courting you, I think you can get a sense of yourself through the eyes of the other person, and you can also communicate more to see the unknown self in the other person's eyes.

You must be an amazing girl to make your colleague fall for you! It's so great to see love like that. Are you willing to accept the advances of the other person?

I'm really interested to know what you think about this relationship. You said you're not sure yet, but if you can't find someone else after two years, would you marry your colleague?

Maybe after two years you'll have a clearer idea, but it's so important to focus on your feelings right now.

If you're lucky enough to find someone who accepts and embraces you, they'll also open your heart and give you the courage to face a new relationship.

If you can't get in, maybe two years or three to five years, it may not be possible. But don't worry! The most important thing is whether you are willing to honestly face your own heart.

We can be totally honest here and say what we think, including our experiences. I think a person who is honest is also someone who is close to themselves.

Give yourself some extra time to care for her, love her, understand her, and accept her thoughts and past.

And others will also approach you and love you through your own wonderful way of loving yourself!

I'd also like to suggest some books that I think you'll find really helpful: Growing in Relationships, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, A Good Love, A Happy Marriage.

I love you, world! And I love you too!

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug.

I'm glad you asked for help. I hope my advice helps. From what you said, I can tell you're confused, helpless, and want to be understood and supported.

This marriage makes you feel ashamed and resentful. It doesn't mean you're not happy.

Why did you choose to end this marriage? Is it because of shame, blame, or resentment? Or is it because you can't connect with your spouse? Only when you know why you want to end the marriage can you find a new relationship that truly loves and nourishes you. What do you think?

Your colleague likes you, but you've both changed a lot in the past two years. Can the other person accept you as you are now, or is this just a nice idea in your loveless marriage?

Your happiness is in your hands. Learn to love, protect, and cherish yourself. Then you can meet someone who truly loves you and nourish your relationship. Otherwise, you will always hope to receive more love and nourishment from another person, which will make you feel more frustrated and disappointed.

Your desire for this part of your needs to be met by someone else is a sign of your own lack. You must learn and grow to meet your own needs. When you do, you will be able to love and be happy.

I'm Lily, the Q&A Museum's little ear. The world and I love you.