Curious about other people's families and want to know how other people's parents treat their children?

Good day. Please accept this 360-degree hug.

From your brief question, it is evident that you possess a wealth of knowledge regarding the treatment of children by their parents. However, it is challenging to provide a definitive answer, as we are unable to observe the patterns of interaction within a specific family.

Even when a family is observed in a natural setting, the awareness that they are being watched can influence the way they interact with each other.

If they are unaware that they are being observed, their behavior is natural, but there is no standard for how it is interpreted. The individual involved, the participant, and the observer may all have different interpretations of the psychological and emotional meaning behind the same behavior.

It is important to note that even so-called non-fiction texts, images, and other materials already contain the values and perspectives of the author.

It is generally not feasible to observe family interaction patterns in an objective manner. Even in the case of one's own family, there may be discrepancies between one's own understanding and the intentions of other individuals.

For example, parents may perceive strictness as an expression of love, while children may view understanding and respect as a form of love. These two perspectives may diverge.

As Tolstoy famously observed, while happy families may share certain characteristics, each unhappy family is unique in its own way. Similarly, while happy families may exhibit similar behaviors, they may also experience different forms of happiness.

For example, some families believe that equality between family members is preferable, while others believe that parents should have a certain degree of authority. There is no standard.

It should be noted that the atmosphere of a family is a matter of personal taste. We will now return to the question that was posed.

It is evident that the familial dynamic within your household is not aligned with your expectations. You are seeking insight into the familial dynamics observed in other households and the potential for improvement.

From a psychological perspective, it is possible to discuss the concept of a positive family atmosphere. This can be defined as a family environment where parents are able to accept their children, empathise with them, understand their psychological needs at different stages of development, and guide them in a supportive manner rather than controlling them.

It is essential that the parents themselves are emotionally stable and capable of handling their own issues. This will prevent the child from becoming the weak link and scapegoat in the family. A significant number of psychological counseling cases have identified that the majority of psychological issues in children are related to unresolved issues in the parents.

What solution do you propose? Given the specific situation in your family and the involvement of at least two individuals, it is challenging to implement changes through the efforts of a single person.

Furthermore, it is unlikely that parents will alter their established patterns of behavior and methods of education simply because their children have different requests.

For you both, the key is to find the love and strength within yourself. Of course, you can be open with your parents about your expectations and the kind of relationship you desire. It is important to avoid complaining.

It is important to note that there may be instances of disappointment.

To find the love and strength within yourself, you can build a closer relationship with like-minded colleagues or you can turn inward and build a relationship with your inner self. It is recommended that you read more related books, such as "My Infinite Inner Self," "Inner Child Therapy," "Inner Healing," "Healing Your Inner Child," and so on.

The most crucial relationship we engage with in this lifetime is the one we have with ourselves, followed by our relationships with others and society.

You may also wish to consider speaking with a counselor.

I am a licensed psychological counselor with a fluctuating outlook on life, oscillating between periods of depression and optimism.

Good day, inquirer.

It can be argued that each individual harbors a "child of privilege" within their heart. This concept has been a part of our collective consciousness since childhood.

Regardless of the circumstances, there is a tendency to compare oneself to the perceived standards set by others.

This is related to the traditional educational paradigm that has been widely accepted. As educators and parents, we tend to believe that only through comparison and competition can we gain a clear understanding of the discrepancies between ourselves and others, learn from the strengths of others, and identify our own weaknesses.

Consequently, there is a tendency to pursue the achievements of others, with the hope of attaining a similar level of success through relentless effort. This is a comprehensible phenomenon, and one that is reinforced by the prevailing social and cultural milieu. The capacity to adapt to the prevailing circumstances is also a crucial skill.

One might inquire, however, as to the nature of one's own strengths.

This is a topic that warrants further reflection and investigation. It is my conviction that each individual possesses inherent strengths that are not contingent upon comparison with others.

When an individual focuses on themselves and concentrates on discovering, exploring, and utilizing their own strengths, can they reduce their curiosity about the strengths of others?

It is evident that curiosity is a highly valuable quality. It can instill a greater desire to explore and foster creativity. Additionally, there will be numerous inspirational stories disseminated on various platforms about how exceptional individuals accomplish tasks, which can also satisfy curiosity to a certain extent.

As a mother of two children, I recognize that my views may not align with those of the majority of parents and educators. However, I adhere to the conviction that academic grades represent merely one aspect of the learning process, and not the sole determining factor.

In addition to grades, it is imperative that we value the knowledge gained from our studies, the intellectual horizons expanded, the insights gleaned, and the skills acquired. Using the knowledge I have gained, what have I achieved?

What areas of growth have been achieved? It is this author's position that these are of greater importance than the grades themselves and serve as a foundation for settling down in society as an adult.

I am curious to know your opinion on this matter.

I extend my sincerest wishes for your happiness. I am Chen Jia, and I extend my love to the world at large.

Hello, question asker. My name is Evan.

The author's own narrative states that the elementary school teacher advised the author to learn from the female classmates who excelled in school. This prompted the author to develop an interest in how other people's families treat their children. Now, the author is in high school. During this period of growth, has the author not attempted to comprehend other people's families?

You want to get to know these classmates because you're going to high school. Girls are better at school than boys in elementary school because elementary school is all about memorizing basic material. High school is more about logical thinking. You're curious about the families of outstanding girls because you want to know how they do it.

The questioner likely experienced something negative in their own family and is seeking to compare it with other people's families to gain insight into how they raise their children.

Pat the questioner on the shoulder and give them a little strength. Let them know that doing well at school is about having the motivation to study. They have the drive to succeed, and while family education plays a part, it's ultimately up to the student to have a clear goal for their future and know what they want.

The questioner needs to understand their own motivation for learning. What do they want to get out of it? They go to see how other people educate their children, but what do they hope to gain from it? They also need to look directly at their own heart.

When you truly face your own needs, you will generate energy and find your own motivation to move forward.

Since the question was asked on a platform, I will give some brief advice on the question.

Know yourself.

The questioner should stop envying girls who do well in school and wonder how their families educate them. Instead, they should get to know themselves clearly.

Knowing exactly what kind of person you are, what your qualities are, and what you want is essential. Write down all your qualities and strengths on a piece of paper to gain clarity.

For example:

I am curious about outstanding people.

I will learn from people who are good at what they do.

I explore myself.

I am very patient, and I immerse myself in things I recognize.

I like reading.

You have many strengths and qualities. Don't worry if you can't think of them all at once. Just take your time and write. When you remember something, write it down.

List your achievements.

Know yourself by listing some of your past achievements. The questioner also has many achievements to list, no matter how small. These are all achievements in the questioner's life.

These achievements will undoubtedly give the questioner a clearer understanding of themselves. For example:

You will pass the high school entrance exam.

You learned to ride a bike without being taught by your parents.

List your achievements and recognize your strengths.

Discover your own motivation for learning.

The questioner must identify the purpose of their studies and their future aspirations.

Write down what you want to get out of learning.

It is crucial for the questioner to confront their true self. If the questioner wants to gain money through learning, they should write it down honestly. The same goes for those who want to gain the approval of others through learning.

Write down which subjects you excel in and which you enjoy. Then, map out your future career, the education you'll need to pursue it, and the university you'll attend to make it happen.

Once the questioner has sorted out their thoughts on learning, they will undoubtedly be full of motivation to learn.

You need to exercise more.

No matter what happens in your studies, you must exercise more. Comparing yourself to other outstanding students is inevitable, but you must not allow this to affect you negatively.

Get active! It's an effective way to resist negative emotions. If you want to get rid of these emotions and cheer yourself up, then get active. Go outdoors and get in touch with the fresh air and sunshine. Get yourself moving!

It will be hard at first, even harder than when you are in a negative mood. But you will get through it. Soon you will feel energetic and your mood will no longer be so low. You will feel happy again.

Exercise will speed up blood circulation and deliver plenty of oxygen to the brain, making you feel more comfortable and relaxing your nervous system. When you exercise, your brain will secrete a substance that makes you feel happy, and you will experience this feeling after you exercise, encouraging you to use exercise to dispel negative emotions.

Talk about your worries.

When you encounter setbacks and need help, you have two options: yourself or friends. But remember, you have to seek and accept help from others if you want them to come to you.

You need to find someone you can talk to heart-to-heart. If you don't want to share your thoughts with the people around you, you can also find a psychological counselor or psychological consultant online. If the counselor's advice doesn't help you, you should consider confiding your worries to other counselors. They will help you change your mood.

Accept yourself, no matter what.

Do more of the things you like. Find the goal and meaning of your life's struggle in the things you like. Accept your current bad state. When you are in a low mood, do something to please yourself.

Make yourself happy, and eat something sweet. Sweet things make you happy, and they're good for you. It's important to be happy without hurting others.

Don't let negative emotions fill your life.

The questioner still has a long way to go. They must embrace themselves, show themselves love, believe in themselves, and they will surely be able to embrace a new future. They must be true to themselves, learn to express their feelings sincerely, and they mustn't care about what others think. I am certain that the questioner's future will be full of sunshine.

I am confident that my answer will help the questioner.

Everyone has the potential to be a source of inspiration. Whether you ask a question or provide an answer, your words can provide insight and guidance to many people, and this is our shared strength.

Good morning, I am Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun. I understand your interest in why all the girls were so successful in school during their primary years. At the same time, you are curious about their family dynamics, self-discipline, and independent learning habits.

It is beneficial to maintain a sense of curiosity and eagerness to improve, however, it is important to recognize that the achievements of an exemplary female figure may evoke a negative emotional response. The aim of this exercise is to gain insight into the underlying reasons behind this phenomenon.

1. All actions are driven by a positive motivation.

As a high school student going through puberty, I am even more eager to explore myself and care more about my image in the eyes of others. I find myself asking questions such as "Who am I?", "What can I do?", and "How am I different from others?"

This evokes memories of your primary school days, when certain girls were singled out by the teacher for their academic achievements. Those who were not praised may have experienced feelings of loss, frustration, and even self-doubt and self-negation.

This will inspire you to learn about the lives of these girls who are excelling in school. It is the "comparison" that motivates you to think this way. In the process of comparing with others, it is easy for us to feel envious or jealous.

Whether you envy or are jealous, there is a limiting belief behind it, and that is "I'm not good enough." You feel "unworthy" and inferior to others, with the internal belief that "it's hard not to know."

It is unavoidable that comparison will occur, but comparing oneself to others can easily result in feelings of frustration and powerlessness. It is possible to switch to comparing oneself to one's past self, which allows for the recognition of growth and changes, as well as the development of strength and confidence.

2. Prioritize external factors and then shift your focus to internal elements.

From a psychological perspective, curiosity can also be seen as a form of "peeping tom."

As with the reporting of celebrity private lives by entertainment journalists, the content is often distorted and manipulated, yet the public still consumes it, driven by a general voyeuristic tendency.

You are interested in learning more about the lives of these girls with good grades, including their family lives and family atmosphere. Based on your observations, it can be assumed that these girls come from relatively good family environments, as evidenced by their academic performance and the level of attention and time their parents dedicate to them.

It is also important to ensure that their family conditions are optimal, including access to sufficient food and clothing, the ability to fulfill their desired needs, such as musical instruments, a diverse range of books, and other resources.

Regardless of your personal vision, the desired family atmosphere should be clearly defined. As the saying goes, "There is no royal road to learning." While hard work is undoubtedly a key factor in the learning process, external factors such as luck and environment also play a significant role.

It is important to focus on your own growth and development, as seeking external solutions may lead to frustration and unmet expectations. The most effective approach is to invest in yourself, enhance your skills, expand your knowledge, and become your own primary source of support.

In your spare time, you may wish to consider practising meditation as a means of cultivating the ability to love yourself and connect with yourself. You may also find it beneficial to engage in free writing, allowing your thoughts to flow without censorship.

You may also find it beneficial to read books that inspire and motivate, such as "The Courage to Be Disliked," "You Are the Answer to Everything," and "Parenting the Inner Child."

I hope the above has provided you with new perspectives, more choices, and that you will accept my best wishes for success in all your future endeavors.

Should you wish to continue the dialogue, you may click on "Find a Coach" in the top right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will communicate and grow with you on a one-to-one basis.

Dear Question Owner, It appears that you continue to place a significant emphasis on academic performance. It seems that you have established a certain standard for yourself, namely the attainment of good grades, and I commend your dedication and motivation.

Concurrently, the instructor anticipates that all students will benefit from the exemplary female students in the class. It is evident that you have listened. In addition to learning their own learning methods, it seems that you also want to understand their family atmosphere, and you feel very uncomfortable. Do you feel oppressed at home and not understood? It may even affect your learning state.

You have indicated that you are seeking solutions to the issues you have raised. I will endeavour to explore these with you.

1. Please describe the learning environment that you find most conducive to your academic development.

Please describe your familial relationships and your expectations regarding familial treatment. How do you hope your family will treat you in order to make you feel more relaxed and confident?

2. It appears that you have ambitious academic goals and aspire to learn from the most accomplished female students. Have you considered engaging in a dialogue with them? This approach could potentially yield valuable insights.

3. Furthermore, it would be beneficial to ascertain whether there is a correlation between academic performance and personal qualities. It is important to recognise that academic excellence does not represent the full scope of a person's abilities. It would be advantageous to identify any unique strengths or qualities that set you apart from others. Additionally, it is worth considering whether others would also be interested in learning from you.

4. In the event of a setback, it is crucial not to hastily dismiss oneself. Initially, it is vital to identify the underlying cause of the issue and to explore potential avenues for improvement. Secondly, it is beneficial to seek out sources of enjoyment in the learning process. When one experiences the positive aspects of learning, it becomes increasingly straightforward to persevere. It is also helpful to reflect on past experiences where difficulties were successfully overcome, in order to gain insights into how one can navigate similar challenges in the future.

When an effective method for overcoming learning difficulties and problem-solving is identified and implemented, and when progress is achieved, confidence in one's abilities and self-perception will undergo a positive transformation.

5. In addition to family members, it would be beneficial to identify other individuals with whom you can discuss your stress. It is important to express your thoughts and feelings. Once you have processed the psychological distress, you will feel more relaxed and your mood will improve.

It is not uncommon for students to experience frustration during the learning process due to poor performance. It is particularly challenging for them to maintain motivation when they are compared to high-achieving peers. It is essential to recognize that the primary responsibility of educators is to facilitate academic success for all students. Consequently, their evaluation systems are primarily based on academic performance. It is crucial to acknowledge that learning is only one aspect of our lives and a skill that enables us to lead better lives. If we are able to live fulfilling lives, it is not detrimental if our academic performance is not exceptional. Alternatively, if one aspires to excel academically to improve their quality of life, it demonstrates an understanding of the value of learning and a higher level of motivation. The subsequent step is to identify a solution. In summary, the overarching theme of our lives is to lead fulfilling lives. Learning is not the sole determining factor in this pursuit. Do you agree?

Hello, question asker! From your description, I can feel your inner curiosity, longing, and confusion—and I'm excited to help you explore them!

A 17-year-old high school boy, who was eager to learn and grow, found himself in a unique position. While his grades in the first and second years of elementary school were relatively poor, he was inspired by the girls who consistently demonstrated excellence in the classroom.

So, you are curious about the lives of outstanding girls, want to understand their family lives, and feel their family atmosphere. It makes you feel a little uneasy when you don't know, but you're excited to find out more and do something about it! Is that right?

I'm excited to help you clarify your question!

On the one hand, you were a poor student in the first and second years of school. What about your academic performance now?

On the other hand, I'd love to know what you hope to gain from understanding the family lives of outstanding girls!

They feel that it is the family that has influenced them and made them outstanding, and they are eager to understand and experience that kind of family environment. They want to know how outstanding people live and get along with each other so they can find the root cause of their own poor academic performance and turn it around!

Let's dive in and see your own limiting beliefs!

From your description, it seems that you have a lot of limiting and unreasonable beliefs inside you that affect your current thinking — but you can change that!

First of all, you're curious about such girls now because the girls in the first and second grades who did well in class were all girls!

So, subconsciously, do you think that the fact that you are a boy is also the reason for your relatively poor grades, or that boys are not as good at studying as girls?

This belief makes you think you can't surpass the girls in terms of academic performance. But you can! It may also be one of the reasons affecting your academic performance.

Second, it seems that you believe girls with good grades are all excellent girls!

Good grades are not the only measure of excellence!

A good person is often measured by many qualities and abilities, and true excellence is never measured by a single, absolute standard.

↗️ Your family of origin is not perfect, but it's perfect for you!

You are really interested in the family environment and atmosphere of girls with good grades and are super eager to understand it!

It's great that you've started to see how your own family of origin has shaped you!

You're on a mission to find out what makes their families different, and you're excited to find the answer!

But here's the thing: every family has its own unique set of challenges, and no family is perfect.

And there's more! Your family of origin is only a part of your life, and it doesn't completely determine your future.

☺️ Focus on learning from the strengths of others!

If you want to understand the other person's family of origin in order to solve your own dilemma, then you've got to try to observe how those you consider to be outstanding have made themselves so!

Get in touch with them, observe them, and learn from their attitude towards problems and their methods of solving them!

And you can become a better person!

Wishing you all the best!

Dear questioner,

My name is Kelly. In response to your question, I believe it is beneficial to be curious about other people's families. It seems you have a natural curiosity and a desire to learn about the unknown. Perhaps we can explore this together and see if we can find a way forward.

I would be happy to share my own experiences with you.

[About poor grades in elementary school]

It is important to remember that poor grades in primary school do not necessarily indicate a deeper issue. For instance, some children may display mischievous behavior, and not all students have access to tutoring, which can contribute to academic gaps when they enter primary school. My daughter did not have tutoring before primary school, and her grades were not as strong in the first two years. I gently explained to her that she was different from other children and that it was normal for her to have less experience with tutoring, which could have contributed to her initial struggles.

Every child is different, and my daughter was no exception. She enjoyed drawing, and from the start of elementary school, she took on the role of publicity officer.

Some of the more talented athletes were selected to serve on the sports committee.

There were many children in elementary school who struggled with their studies, including myself. I also found mathematics particularly challenging, but I am grateful that this did not have a lasting impact on me.

On the other hand, I have always had a fondness for Chinese and reading has always been a source of great enjoyment for me. I began reading extensively during my elementary school years and it remains one of my most cherished pastimes.

If you enjoy something, it might be helpful to persevere, as you may find that it brings you a sense of fulfilment.

My daughter, who faced some challenges in elementary school, is also preparing for the college entrance exam this year.

I wonder if I might pose a question to the original poster that I hope will encourage reflection.

1: The original poster has the option of going to high school. Perhaps you can recall that when you had good grades in elementary school, you did not go to high school?

2: It is important to remember that poor grades in elementary school are not indicative of future success. You are now a high school student, and with that comes the opportunity to prove yourself.

3: When we were young, we wore open-crotch pants (we eventually outgrew them as we grew up, but it was a fun phase).

4: You are you, and you are wonderful just the way you are.

I would like to suggest that perhaps learning from girls might be beneficial.

I'm sure your teachers care about you.

It might be helpful to consider learning from girls. Many girls are more sensible from elementary school to high school, and their habits are also better. The process can be challenging, but I have seen many boys reverse the trend. You could make a few good friends and ask them for advice on learning methods, or see if some habits are better.

It might be helpful to be honest with your high school classmates. If you are willing to study, help your classmates more often, be enthusiastic, and be cheerful, you will likely be well-liked. You could also consider expressing your appreciation for your classmates directly.

For instance, one might consider assisting classmates in a proactive manner.

2: It might be beneficial to read more books (interacting with classmates about literature could also be a valuable form of interaction).

3: Perhaps you could try finding something you like and getting appreciation from others (such as sports, music, painting, playing a musical instrument, recitation, writing essays, etc.).

4: The law of attraction. You are excellent, and I believe that others will also take the initiative to find you. I think you are a person who is good at thinking, otherwise why would you come to Yixin to find the answer?

5: I believe that people who can think and take action are great.

I've heard it said that a goal without action is a daydream.

I would also like to express my appreciation for your efforts, and I will acknowledge them positively and offer praise once more.

I wonder if I might ask whether you think that's awesome?

I wonder if it would be possible to find out a little more about other people's families?

I recall that I was similarly curious about other people's families. During my time as a student, I often spent my summer vacations with my classmates, visiting their homes to play and eat.

Dear questioner, I'm not sure if you mentioned this, but I'm guessing you might be interested in learning more about how other families raise their children.

Perhaps you would like to see other happy families and learn how they raise their children?

Do you feel there might be room for improvement in your relationship with your parents?

I hesitated to share this, but it's important to acknowledge that every family faces its own unique challenges. Behind a hardworking student may be a competitive mother.

It is not uncommon for students who are self-disciplined to have parents who are similarly strict. I have met the mother of one of my daughter's classmates, a civil servant, who has always been quite strict with her children.

And she began to display some rebellious tendencies.

There is also the daughter of a teacher, whose parents are quite strict. Since junior high school, her classmates have rebelled, being competitive and unwilling to admit defeat.

My daughter is an average student. While I believe good grades are important, I hope she can develop the ability to think independently, face setbacks with resilience, and become a kind, optimistic, and healthy individual. I am grateful that, with dedication and hard work, she has been able to excel in her studies and pursue her educational goals, from high school to university and now to graduate school. Each step has been her own choice, and I am proud of her for making these decisions.

We are fortunate to have a deep mother-daughter bond, where we appreciate and respect each other.

I have confidence in my daughter's ability to work hard for her life goals, and I respect her right to make her own choices.

✍️ Advice:

If you are curious, you might consider going on vacation to see and feel the atmosphere.

2: If you are preoccupied with your studies and lack the opportunity to connect, you might consider reaching out to your classmates or their parents.

3: Even if we are curious about other people's parents, we tend to love our own parents the most. Although my mother is very strict and always scolds and beats me, I still love my parents, even though I also feel aggrieved and angry.

4: During your adolescent years, it would be beneficial to read more to broaden your horizons. I kindly suggest that you avoid letting me nag you (reading more biographies is a great way to gain insight into the family lives and growth stories of celebrities, and they often contain valuable lessons).

I have found that reading can be a great source of healing. It is interesting to note that many of the world's great people have had unhappy pasts, yet they have persevered and achieved great things.

For instance, one might consider the biography of Russell or the insights of Mr. Irwin Yalom, a renowned psychologist.

It might be said that pain is sometimes a valuable experience.

I encourage you to continue exploring life with curiosity, asking more psychological questions, or participating in community learning.

I hope you have a wonderful time learning!

My name is Kelly.

I would like to express my love and appreciation for the world.

Dear little man,

Your question is fascinating and definitely worth exploring!

Curiosity and the desire to learn are the incredible driving forces behind human progress! They need to be nurtured and guided so that we can all make the most of them.

To say that it needs to be nurtured means that when it comes to things you don't understand, don't pretend to know, but admit what you don't know. At the same time, however, you should have some respect for the boundaries of exploration. Take your curiosity about outstanding girls and your desire to know what other families are really like... This sense of exploration born of interest is in itself not at all offensive, but when we express it, it can easily cause misunderstanding in others, such as offending others' privacy, peeping, and not always comparing yourself to others, but to yourself. In fact, maybe we were really just curious in the first place, but because of the misunderstanding, we feel embarrassed.

So, let's learn to be matter-of-fact and try to understand some of the taboos of exploration through questioning and curiosity! That way, we can avoid unnecessary trouble and embrace our curiosity.

When it comes to coping strategies, such as the choice of people to turn to for help, it's so important to find people who are gentle, non-judgmental, and able to listen. When we ourselves are unsure of boundaries, we need support and affirmation from the people we turn to for help, at the very least, not to discourage our curiosity and exploration.

And the best part is, when this spark of intellectual curiosity exists, it can be guided in a beneficial direction! For example, it could be your curiosity about girls your age. There are so many possible directions it could take, such as how to establish positive interactions, how to learn to share resources, and how to complement each other's strengths!

There are so many fun and easy ways to make friends! You can start by making friends with someone and inviting them over, or you can join a small group activity that parents are organizing. You can even join a study group!

Dear Questioner, I appreciate your investment of 30 coins to pose this intriguing question: "What is the typical family environment of an exceptional girl like?" It would be challenging to ascertain this information otherwise.

It appears that you have a preconceived notion about the family environment of exceptional girls, and you are particularly eager for this notion to be either confirmed or refuted. Regardless of whether it is confirmed or refuted, it is akin to a deductive question: if A is true, then B must necessarily be true.

Some might suggest that to gain insight into the familial environment of an exemplary female, one need only inquire of her directly. Alternatively, one might consult literary works to gain a deeper understanding. These methods are, in fact, quite straightforward.

Upon initial observation, I found your question to be somewhat amusing. However, upon further reflection, I realized that it was not as straightforward as it initially appeared.

In essence, your query pertains to the question of identity, albeit in the context of a question that appears to be about another individual. This bears resemblance to the A and B argument previously discussed.

The hope to understand oneself through others is a common experience among individuals facing an identity crisis at the age of 17.

The question of whether it is preferable to be a boy or a girl is a complex one. Furthermore, the question of how a boy can be good and how a girl can be good is similarly multifaceted.

One might inquire as to why girls are praised for exhibiting these traits, whereas boys are criticized for displaying similar characteristics. There are numerous questions that arise from this phenomenon.

I comprehend the rationale behind your inquiry, which necessitates a comprehensive approach to addressing this significant aspect of your life. It requires a gradual and meticulous examination, a process of contemplation and reflection. In addition to your personal growth trajectory, it is essential to consider the experiences of the boys and girls in your immediate environment. Their observations, emotions, thoughts, and aspirations, as well as your own, must be taken into account.

If the issue does not significantly impact one's current life, it may be advisable to simply let it be, as the answer may eventually manifest. However, if the issue has already had a significant impact on one's life, causing insomnia or other disturbances, it may be beneficial to seek professional assistance to gain insight into the underlying causes of this restlessness.

Hi there!

I'm happy you brought this up and shared your thoughts!

From the first or second grade of elementary school, you were told by your teachers to look up to girls with excellent academic performance. Since then, you've had this image of girls with excellent academic performance in your mind, and it's made you curious and fascinated.

You might feel like the atmosphere in your family isn't so great, and you think this might be related to your personality and academic performance. So you're curious to know what kind of family atmosphere outstanding girls grow up in, and you'd like to have such a family atmosphere.

At 17, boys and girls are more interested in the opposite sex. They may be constrained by external evaluations or concepts, so they're hesitant to directly express their curiosity and interest in the opposite sex. They may unintentionally demonstrate it in other ways.

No matter what the reason, at this age you're curious about what it's like to be around amazing girls, you want to experience a family atmosphere, and you may have expressed your interest in and attraction to the opposite sex and shown your longing for a family atmosphere.

In reality, just go with the flow and interact with girls as they come along.

At this age, you may be curious about girls and a little nervous around them. You may also have a girl you like secretly. Try to relax and take the initiative to communicate with girls about your studies and life. You can also talk about topics related to each other's families. As long as you show respect and sincerity to the other person, and the relationship is natural, you will gradually get to know the opposite sex better and lay a foundation for entering a close relationship in the future.

Do your best to grow and be the best you can be.

If you want to pursue an outstanding woman, you have to be outstanding yourself. That means having self-confidence, a healthy physique, and enhancing your abilities in all aspects. You can also do some self-exploration, learn about psychology, and explore how your own family of origin affects you. That way, you'll grow and improve your level of mentalization.

Get to know yourself better, work on your life goals, and go after the life you want.

I hope Hongyu's reply helps you out. Thanks for asking!

Hello, I'm Jiang 61.

Thank you for sharing your curiosity. You are surprised that girls do so well in elementary school and wonder if it has anything to do with family life. You feel trapped and sad in the current family atmosphere. Let me give you a hug and let you feel the warmth from afar. I will then answer your questions.

I. Physical characteristics

17-year-old high school boy. He did poorly in 12th grade of elementary school.

The girls in the class get the best grades. The teacher says they should learn from them.

You said the girl's grades are good and she is praised, while the boy's grades are poor and he is criticized. This is caused by intellectual development and is common. It is related to human physiology.

1. Three stages of intellectual development

Stage 1: 0–1 year

Girls like people, so they play and talk more. Boys like toys, so they play with them more.

Stage 2: 1–3 years old

This stage is a time of rapid growth for both boys and girls. Girls develop socially, with an interest in communication.

Girls are sweet-talking, like to interact with adults, and ask why. Boys are interested in sports and exploration, and like to run, jump, build with blocks, and play rough.

Stage 3: 3–7 years

Girls in kindergarten and the early stages of primary school have better memories, concentration, planning, social skills, and public speaking skills than boys.

Boys are good at logical thinking.

The intelligence of primary school children changes a lot after age 3.

2. Brain development

Boys and girls differ in intelligence because of when their brains develop and how they use them.

Left and right brain

The left brain controls sensation and movement in the right half of the body, language, writing, comprehension, expression, concept formation, symbol manipulation, and self-control. It is rational and values logic and rules.

The right brain controls the left half of the body, visual-spatial activities, painting, music, art, emotions, intuition, imagination, and figurative thinking. The right brain is emotional and focuses on intuition and artistry.

The left and right brains are connected by a structure called the corpus callosum, which helps them work together.

How fast kids develop

Girls' brains develop faster than boys' from the womb. After birth, girls are better at language, reading, concentration, and manual skills. This is more obvious in kindergarten and elementary school, where girls are 6 to 12 months ahead of boys.

Girls have a larger corpus callosum than boys when they are children. This means their left and right brains are closely linked, and they tend to use both sides of the brain at the same time. Boys have much less of a link between their left and right brains, and most of the time they only use one side to think. This means boys tend to perform less well than girls in many areas.

Girls use their left brain more, have stronger language skills, and have an advantage, while boys use their right brain more and have stronger spatial thinking skills. This advantage remains with boys until they become adults.

Boys and girls have different interests and abilities at different stages of education. In elementary school, girls are more mature, have better language skills, and are favored by teachers. Boys are more playful and have fewer concerns about their studies. Teachers will have a harder time with boys.

Parents are no exception. They don't understand boys and often misjudge them, which hurts their confidence. Boys can't yet tell right from wrong, and they think they're no good at anything, which hurts their future development.

2. Family atmosphere

I'm curious about the lives of outstanding girls. I want to know about other people's family lives and feel the family atmosphere. It makes me feel bad when I can't find out.

The family atmosphere may affect boys' and girls' learning, but not always. You want to know about the family life of outstanding girls. Do you think your family atmosphere is why you're not doing better?

You feel bad in this situation.

Pygmalion effect

The Pygmalion effect is when a teacher motivates a student to achieve a goal.

The Pygmalion effect is when a teacher's expectations affect a student's performance. If a teacher believes a student can succeed, the student is more likely to do so.

A happy family is good for children.

A happy family helps children learn, but there are other things that matter too. Parents should build a good relationship with their kids, look after their health, encourage their interests, and get them involved in activities and chores.

Some children from happy families are still unhappy. This is because their parents pay too much attention to them. They don't learn to take care of themselves. When they leave home, they are unhappy. They worry that they will not be able to live on their own. They try to do things that are too difficult for them. This makes them feel worse.

3. Learning ability, methods, and motivation

Learning problems are caused by many things. The most important thing is whether your internal factors are positive. If they are, they will help you learn.

Internal factors include ability to learn, appropriate learning methods, and motivation.

Learning ability is the psychological makeup needed to learn. It includes perceptual observation, memory, reading, and problem-solving.

How well you learn is a reflection of your overall learning ability.

Learning methods are ways to learn new things quickly. They are now getting more and more attention because they help people learn and understand things better.

Everyone learns differently because we're all different. There's no one right way to learn. You have to find what works for you. There are some ways that work well for most people. These are called universal learning methods. They include memorization, dictation, shorthand, and taking notes. These are useful for most students.

Motivation is a factor that affects how students learn. It has two parts: learning needs and learning expectations.

You know that learning is about who, for whom, why, and what your interests are. Once you know this, you will be motivated to learn.

4. Solutions

What's the solution?

Let's talk about the problem and the solution.

1. Forget the past.

Let go of the past. If you don't, you'll always be burdened by it and unable to move forward.

2. Find your own way of learning.

Your intelligence doesn't determine your academic performance. The key is your learning method. If you think you're a "poor student," the difference is in your learning method. Different subjects and types of knowledge require different methods. Find a method that suits you, and you'll achieve excellent results like most students.

Everyone has a way of learning that works for them. One way is memorization. There are also other methods like previewing, reviewing, and answering questions. If you keep up with these, your learning will improve.

3. Motivate yourself

Set learning goals.

Set your own learning goals and break them down into short-term goals. For example, if you are in your second or third year of high school, what are your goals for this semester? What are the stage exams? Divide these into small goals to achieve one by one. Give yourself a small reward for achieving each goal.

Know why you're learning.

Knowing why you want to learn is key to success. If you choose to learn something because you're interested in it or because you need it, that's your learning motivation.

When you're motivated to learn, you'll think about why you chose this project, find solutions, try them, find a solution, and persist. You'll feel accomplished and motivated to keep learning.

Talk to a friend when you feel unmotivated to study. They can help you feel better and help you continue studying.

Have a good learning attitude.

It's not easy to maintain a good learning attitude. You need to approach problems correctly and get encouragement and support from parents. Think of learning as your own business. Work hard to overcome difficulties and believe that you will make progress day by day.

Keep yourself motivated.

To stay motivated, reward yourself for your achievements.

Stay in a good learning state.

4. Accept the challenge.

If you are strong, difficulties will be weak. If you are weak, they will be strong. They are a barrier to learning. If you are afraid, your learning will be hindered.

If you face challenges and find ways to overcome them, you will make great progress and learn in new ways.

5. Be confident.

Boys are naturally more logical than girls. Girls are good at memorization and language, but high school education requires more than just memorization. Comprehension, logical thinking, and holistic thinking are more important than rote memorization.

Boys have an advantage in learning subjects like physics and math. They can understand things more easily, so their grades improve quickly.

This is a characteristic of boys. You are in this stage, so give yourself confidence and believe that your self-esteem and self-confidence will gradually be built up.

Don't envy people with better families or past successes. That's in the past. Now is the time to apply your strengths. You are in control of your destiny.

Use your strengths to gain confidence. Believe in yourself.

I'll give you some things to think about.

I hope the questioner does well in school!

Hello!

I can tell you're feeling some worry, and I'm here to help!

1. Take a moment to reflect on the reasons for the past.

In elementary school, the teacher praised the girls in the class who got good grades, and you were so inspired by their success that you wanted to be just like them!

In this memory, I can feel that you are a child who is eager to learn and grow. With the right guidance and encouragement, you have the potential to achieve amazing things!

Teachers are always looking for ways to improve the overall grades in the class, and one way they do this is by promoting the best students. While this may sometimes have some counterproductive effects, such as making other students feel compared and stressed, it also provides an excellent opportunity for parents to step in and provide the support their children need to relieve the pressure.

2. Observe the present

Now that he is in high school, the academic pressure is also heavier. He also has high expectations for his academic performance, and you hope that his academic performance will be even more outstanding, so that he can steadily advance to the next stage of learning in life.

So you associate good students with the kind of family environment in which they grow up!

You envy them, which shows that there is a very simple and unadorned place in your heart, which can also be transformed into the heart of a child. It means that no matter how old you get, your heart remains pure, you dare to pursue your dreams, and you become more and more determined in your principles—and that's something to be excited about!

In Chinese classes, we're going to teach you some of Confucius's most inspiring thoughts! "Zhongyong" is the way of life in our amazing China.

Instead of seeking outside, explore yourself from within!

When I think of the word "curiosity," the first person I think of is Leonardo da Vinci. He was an absolutely wonderful person!

People are born with curiosity, and you are no exception! Some people's curiosity becomes numb, but you are not one of them.

So you should definitely see that there are so many things that are totally worth affirming about yourself!

And let's not forget the importance of curiosity! It's a great way to learn more interestingly.

Different family environments can have an impact on a person's self-confidence. This makes some of your concerns understandable, but don't worry!

You're doing great! Keep up the good work. When you focus on your own growth, and use positive thinking and knowledge to overcome your fears and worries, you will increasingly enjoy your studies and life. Kudos to you!

Grades are temporary, so don't worry too much about short-term results! When you encounter setbacks and failures, you'll know how to get up and move forward. It's a long march, but you'll do it with energy and spirit!

3. Take care of yourself!

I'd love to know how your interactions with your family are going!

You can absolutely choose to express your feelings and try to communicate with your parents!

If you feel a bit oppressed when expressing your feelings to your family, don't worry! You can always talk to a teacher at school you trust.

The internet is a great place to find platforms that offer mutual support! Just be discerning and critical of some netizen comments.

Take care of yourself! You've got this!