Deliberately alienating oneself from former friends is a bit contradictory. Is this not a narrow-minded approach?

Hello, question asker! I just wanted to say that I think you're doing a great job. After reading your statement, I want to give you a big, big, big thumbs up!

It's so great to see that the questioner has developed a good sense of self, set appropriate boundaries for themselves, and has a sense of independence and propriety in their relationships. I have to admit, I'm a little envious!

When you were a student, you were always up for playing with anyone who was willing to join. You were always really enthusiastic and sincere, even if you and the other person had very different personalities. This just goes to show how accepting you are of other people's differences and how warm and sincere you are!

But after working and some recent explorations and changes, you feel a little different. You don't want to compromise or agree anymore, you want to follow your heart, and you are more aware than before of the right way to get along with others, to give and take, and not be overly nice to others. Well done, my dear!

When you were a student, there was no conflict of interest or power struggle between people, and you could be sincere and unreserved with others. It was totally fine to set your boundaries broadly!

But now that you're working, people are no longer as simple as they were as students, and you come into contact with more and more people, all kinds of people, with interests, rights to correct or divide. It's important to remember that you can't be friends with everyone, and that's okay! You just need to tighten your boundaries appropriately.

It's totally normal for friendship and colleague relationships to be deep or shallow. Even if you and someone aren't on the same page, you can still chat, take pictures, and keep in touch. You've done a great job!

It's okay to recognize that you're not the same person, you don't like him, and you have every right not to be close friends with him. At the same time, you've also managed not to dislike him, which is great! This is the personality of a magnanimous and reasonable person, so there's no way you're narrow-minded.

Questioner, you're great! Be bold and be yourself, and don't doubt yourself. You will have a bright life!

I'm so proud of you! Keep up the great work.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm modest and self-effacing, and I try to stay true to myself.

This is a sign of growth.

When we were young, we always wanted to grow up. We thought it would be really cool to be able to earn our own money, make our own decisions, and decide for ourselves what we wanted to do. We were so impatient to grow up that we looked forward to it. And after we finished school and started working, we realized that we had indeed grown up.

But growing up isn't as cool as it used to be. We still have problems with relationships, we're still frustrated because work isn't going well, and we're still sad because we don't earn enough to spend. It turns out that adults aren't as happy as kids. We find that our temperament has changed, that we're not as enthusiastic as before, and that we're not as lively and active as before.

However, all these problems are just a minor topic in the process of growing up. You're not being selfish or narrow-minded; you're just more aware of who you are and what you need. So it seems like a very good thing. Before adulthood, you add to your life; after adulthood, you subtract from it. It's enough to remove the unimportant and keep the important.

As you move forward, you'll meet a better version of yourself.

❀So when you're faced with problems like the ones you mentioned in your description, remember that this is not a bad thing. In fact, by refusing to spend time with people we don't want to get to know, we can spend a lot of time on the relationships we want to cultivate, as well as pleasing ourselves and doing the things we like.

As we grow up, we'll gradually learn that some things in our lives are essential, while others aren't. When we learn to say no, we'll feel an incredible sense of relief and joy. Just as you affirmed your own state in your description, no matter what that one thing is, just do it with your heart.

Take it slow and give yourself the green light to simplify your life, let go of what you don't need, and avoid getting too attached. You'll feel a lot better for it. Don't doubt yourself. If you don't want to have a deep friendship, there must be your own reasons and justifications. Trust your judgment, be firm in your choices, and avoid internal conflict.

Life is beautiful, so share the sunshine with someone who gets you.

Best,

Good morning, host.

I'm here to help and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Let me fly.

It seems that the original poster is going through a period of reflection and re-evaluation, which may involve distancing himself from previous friendships. This process can often be accompanied by feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt. I can relate to these feelings and understand that they can be challenging to navigate.

I would like to extend a supportive gesture to the original poster.

Perhaps the confusion of the original poster lies in the original poster's definition of a friend. If the other person is not your friend, do you still feel this way? I'm not sure what kind of person the original poster considers a friend. At least, in my heart, I don't consider the other person a friend, and I wouldn't expect the other person to be my friend either.

It is undeniable that we all need friends in this world. However, it is not always possible for everyone to be friends with each other. There are many reasons why this might be the case, not just because one person wants to be friends with another. If two people do not get along, it is perfectly acceptable to have less contact in private, except in some public places.

Additionally, I believe it's important to recognize that our impressions of people can evolve over time. It's understandable if the original poster has a strong initial opinion about whether to associate with someone, but it's also possible that circumstances might change in the future.

If you're not quite ready to take the next step, it might be best to maintain a little distance for now.

As the original poster said, you are an individual, not a public car wash, and anyone who wants to be your friend is fine. We also have choices. In fact, I think this is also very important. What friends we choose determines what kind of lifestyle we lead.

I hope this is helpful, and I would be grateful for any feedback, likes, or followings.

Greetings.

Through interactions with A, one's innermost thoughts and feelings are revealed, and changes in psychology, perceptions, and emotions are observed. In interpersonal interactions, enthusiasm and sincerity have consistently been maintained, despite initial reluctance. The mask is now removed, and accommodation and agreement with others are no longer desired. Instead, the heart is followed, and compromise for others is no longer a priority.

Concurrently, an internal conflict emerges: one's inclination towards this aspect of self is evident, yet apprehension persists regarding the merits of this transformation and the potential for being perceived as narrow-minded.

Indeed, it is commendable that you have the courage to alter your behavior in order to align more closely with your authentic self. Additionally, your willingness to engage in introspection and to recognize your own sensitivity is noteworthy.

Wu Zhihong posited that "a person's life is about living out oneself." The process of learning to think and explore is undertaken with the objective of developing a deeper understanding of the self and moving closer to a state of authentic self-expression.

As we embark on the journey of self-discovery, we may encounter a voice that challenges our beliefs and undermines our self-assurance. This voice often originates from the familiar confines of our past experiences and reflects the opinions of others.

In essence, as long as one does not impinge upon the autonomy of others, each individual possesses the prerogative to determine their own interpersonal boundaries. It is imperative to heed the voice of one's conscience and to embrace self-acceptance and self-respect, irrespective of the ultimate decision. Attempting to resolve the inherent ambiguity of interpersonal dynamics through a singular, absolute choice is futile and can lead to a state of internal conflict and the dissipation of one's life force.

The selection of different options will result in disparate outcomes. For instance, if one opts to be sincere and enthusiastic even when interacting with individuals whose personalities differ from one's own, the consequence of this choice may be that one experiences some degree of disapproval. However, it will also lead to the formation of positive relationships. Conversely, if one chooses to forego the conventional notion of reciprocity and instead adhere to one's own principles in determining interactions and boundaries, one may feel a sense of empowerment and gain self-confidence. However, this approach may also lead to criticism from those who perceive it as being narrow-minded and difficult to interact with. From this perspective, the evaluation of choices is not contingent on their inherent goodness or badness. Instead, it is essential to consider one's intentions and to accept the consequences of one's actions.

It is my hope that Hongyu's reply will prove beneficial to you. I am grateful for your inquiry.

Dear, I hope this finds you well. Best regards,

First, congratulations on recognizing the boundaries between yourself and others. It's normal to have doubts, but they're unnecessary if you doubt yourself just because you don't like it.

We socialize for many reasons. In addition to exchanging material goods and interests, we also socialize for fun and to stay in touch with family.

All of this is about meeting needs through social interaction. We get material goods, information, and exchange emotions. This forms small energy cycles.

People interact to achieve self-consistency. This means balancing and positively operating one's internal cycle through external interactions. We instinctively feel repelled by interactions that make us feel uncomfortable. We may not know where this emotion comes from, but we can feel it.

You feel that she is different from you. You continue to verify this view in subsequent interactions. As a result, you decline her invitations and requests for help.

Our perception of others is complex but traceable. Intuition and experience are the main causes. This impression is also referred to in psychology as the "first cause effect." It may be reversed, confirmed, or remain the same.

How we deal with things affects how we interact with others. If we change our perceptions, it's like "suspecting your neighbor of stealing your axe." But we usually stick to our judgments because we have an emotional brain that makes us identify with ourselves.

We usually form small groups based on interests and hobbies. This is the social version of "love me, love my dog." It's because we need emotional choice.

You might miss out on chances to meet new people, but this depends. You need to be open to different personalities. This is why in traditional literature, it says, "A gentleman's friendship is as indifferent as water." Water is not tasty, but it can hold everything. It is tolerant and generous. It can be guided by circumstances and nourish living things. Good interactions are nourished by interactions, not just consumed.

You don't need to force this kind of experience. Stick to your heart, like the original poster is doing. It's enough to know what you've done and why. Don't limit yourself with strict rules. Making friends is about emotional needs. If you never click with the other person, you'll still be depressed. The loss will outweigh the gain.

Life is not one-way. Know what you're doing, why, and how. Be flexible. A happy mood gives you energy.

Hello!

I like you just the way you are!

You say, "You now have your own ideas. You want to follow your heart and are more conscious of how to get along with others. You like this side of yourself, but sometimes you doubt if you are narrow-minded.

I understand your worries. You weren't like this before. You were easy-going and pleasing to others. As you grow and explore yourself, you'll discover you prefer to be yourself. Accepting yourself takes time. A little self-doubt is part of this process. Don't worry.

We can choose our friends and our lives. We need to take time to get to know people and decide if we like them. We can stop being friends with people who are bad for us and keep the good ones. This is natural. You might like friend A at first, but then you realize they're not on the same page as you. You don't want to get close to them, so you slowly distance yourself. This is a good result. You've made the right choice. Congratulations!

I like you just the way you are. Be yourself, follow your heart, and meet someone you like. Don't try to please, don't be angry, don't be easygoing, and don't agree with others.

Confident.

Your true self will make your life better!

Follow your heart! Go forward!

I hope the questioner stays real and outstanding.

Best wishes! I love you!