Did living together before marriage and then splitting up make him seem heartless?

I can feel the sadness, frustration, anger, and pain in the questioner's heart. I personally don't think it's helpful to measure a person by whether they are "unemotional" or "emotional." Everyone has emotions, and it's just that the degree to which they can be perceived after being expressed differs. If he really was an unemotional person, I don't think the questioner would have fallen in love with him in the first place, let alone given him gifts.

The term "unemotional" is often used to describe someone who seems to lack emotional expression. This person may appear cold and unsympathetic, with a firm attitude and resolute actions. While they may seem unsupportive, it's important to remember that everyone has their own way of processing emotions and expressing them.

It's not that common in real life to find someone who's willing to stick around after a relationship has ended. It's usually because the other person feels hurt, their emotions have been worn away, and they've lost hope. They're at their wit's end and act out of desperation. Since there's no hope, there's no need to keep developing emotions.

From what the questioner has told us, it seems that the other person always responds with silence and cold violence when they encounter problems. This shows that they are really struggling inside and lack a sense of security and confidence. At the same time, they hope that their expression of inner emotions through silence can be discovered and understood by the questioner. This is their way of saying, "I won't argue with you or compete with you, this is my love for you." They don't realise that this is not what the questioner wants, nor do they know what the questioner wants. They just naturally express it as they think.

It's pretty clear that this kind of silence isn't going to help anyone communicate effectively. I think any girl in her shoes would find it pretty tough to handle, to be honest. It might be helpful for the questioner to think about how she usually treats her boyfriend and how she treats him when problems arise.

It's totally understandable why he's acting the way he is. It's related to a lot of different things, like how he was raised, his mental state, how he thinks, and how he expresses himself. It's also related to how you treat him.

If you keep doing this and it happens more and more often, he'll just get more and more frustrated. So it's probably for the best that he's leaving you and breaking up with you. He's trying to avoid losing control of his emotions and hurting himself, and he's also trying to avoid doing extreme things that hurt you.

I just wanted to say that this isn't the result you were hoping for, and I know it can be really tough when it feels like it's your own fault that the other person doesn't recognize, accept, like, or value you.

Intimate relationships are also a type of interpersonal relationship that must follow the laws of interpersonal relationships. If you want others to treat you a certain way, you must learn how to treat yourself and others. If you want to have a happy, fulfilling, harmonious, and stable love marriage, you must learn how to get along with the opposite sex, express your inner emotions and thoughts, and how to treat yourself and the other person. You must adjust and change your way of thinking and expression.

If these issues aren't resolved, the same situation might happen again, even if the questioner falls in love again in the future. These are just my personal opinions, but I hope they're helpful for you!

Hello, I am Song Huihong, a psychological counselor. From what I can see, you view your boyfriend as your future marriage partner, live together before marriage, often quarrel over trivial matters, and after the quarrel, he tends to withdraw and doesn't speak. It seems that you often initiate communication before making up, and he has mentioned that you keep pestering him.

You value your relationship with him and took the initiative to communicate with him and say kind things. However, when he said that, it did upset you.

This time, due to a minor disagreement, you expressed that you and he were not the ideal match for each other. The following day, you attempted to communicate with him on numerous occasions, but unfortunately, he did not respond to your calls.

On the third day, he relocated and did not accept any of the gifts you had given him. This has left people feeling rather cold.

It seems as though he may have fallen into a period of distress. Perhaps it would be helpful to ask him if he is feeling particularly cruel or indifferent.

I believe you may be feeling a sense of detachment and indifference from him, which is understandable given the circumstances. Hugs to you!

Problem analysis:

I believe you have a strong affection for him, which may explain why you interact as if you were married and live together. You mentioned that you often have disagreements over minor issues, and this time you also said that you feel they are not suited to each other.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that he is right. Usually after every fight, he doesn't communicate, and it could be perceived as cold violence not to speak.

I could see that after the argument, you were trying to express your feelings about the situation and your desire for change in your relationship with him. He, too, was upset and expressed his frustration in a way that was hurtful to you. The next day, you tried to contact him several times to communicate.

From my perspective, it seems that you may be the one saying things that could potentially hurt the relationship, as well as the one trying to repair it.

It appears that when you are upset, you may say things that could potentially harm your relationship. However, upon reflection, you attempt to communicate with him again. I am uncertain if this is typical for your communication style.

It appears that you may have expressed your feelings in a way that was perceived as angry, and that you may have treated him as if he were your future spouse. However, he did move out of the house on the third day.

It seems that the situation may have caught you off guard, which could be why you're not seeing the relationship as clearly as you could be.

I am seeking advice on how to proceed if we have broken up after living together before marriage.

First, it might be helpful to reflect on how you met and how you got along. This could help you understand what kind of man you like and what kind of man you are suitable for.

Could you please share what you think you might learn from this relationship?

Secondly, it is important to maintain a stable mood. When you feel angry about a conflict between you and your partner, it is helpful to learn to calm down and control yourself from saying things that might hurt the relationship. While you may feel better in the moment, you may find that you have to put in more effort to repair the relationship later on.

Third, it would be beneficial to learn communication skills. It is inevitable that two people will disagree when they get along. When this occurs, it is important to calm down and express your thoughts and needs in a calm tone of voice.

It is important to be seen, heard, and understood in an emotional relationship in order to build and maintain a healthy connection.

Fourth, mutual understanding and trust. It would be beneficial to consider your thoughts of him as a future marriage partner and express them in your attitude and words.

It would be beneficial to affirm him more often, allow him to experience positive emotions with you, and facilitate mutual nourishment between you both.

I hope you will meet someone you love and who loves you in the future. I wish you all the best.

Hello, I am a heart exploration coach, Fly. I'm here to help you blossom, not for appreciation.

I understand your frustration, anger, and reluctance. After all, you loved each other and were close enough to live together. However, you didn't anticipate the other person's decisiveness, lack of reservations, and absence of nostalgia for the past. This makes you feel sad: how could you fall in love with someone so ruthless? What really happened? Let's examine it.

1. We must not use our standards to judge others, let alone demand them.

Everyone has their own values and outlook on life, and it is easy to use your own opinions and feelings to judge a person or an event.

You were in love, and it's normal for young lovers to argue. Even if you said "break up," you still have feelings for each other. You need to communicate with each other and achieve emotional flow.

However, the other party did something very ruthless. If they said no, then they broke up. They then refused to communicate or even cut off contact. And after that, they moved out of the house without taking away any of your "memories" together.

This makes you feel incredible, and you even doubt whether the love, togetherness, and intimacy you once had was true love. If it was true love, it's inconceivable that anyone could be so ruthless.

This is about looking at things from your perspective, at your relationship, at this relationship, and at the attitude and methods of solving problems.

You are not him, so you can't know what he's thinking. But I'll tell you what I think. He's probably seen the incompatibility between you long ago and is just waiting for the right opportunity. His upbringing, his parents' marriage, and their approach to things have made him like this. He's not callous; he's just a firm and simple person who doesn't drag his feet. He believes that love is love, and if he doesn't love you, that's it.

2. You are not nostalgic for the person, just the emotional investment you made in the past.

You are aware that you are also reviewing this relationship and that you have some responsibilities. For example, you are willful, you do not understand or tolerate the other person in trivial matters, and you say "break up" without thinking. You are angry and venting your emotions. In the other person's eyes, especially some straight men, you think you are "telling the truth."

If you don't speak or act from the heart, you'll easily misunderstand each other or be stubborn. For example, you'll contact the other person after the breakup, which is a sign of weakness. Put yourself in the other person's shoes when it happens.

In the recent hit movie "The Story of a Rose," Zhuang Guodong, the rose's first love, was deeply influenced by his parents' approach to relationships. It's clear that the other person's approach to things is also related to his or her family of origin and the model of his or her parents.

You have been heartbroken and are undoubtedly sad. However, you are allowing the other person's heartlessness to "stick" to you, which is a way of distracting yourself from the pain of being heartbroken. Focusing on the other person's "mistake" will not make you feel no pain and forget the pain.

My dear, the pain is still there, and you will feel it. I want to make it clear that when you are in pain, you are not pining for the other person. You are pining for yourself and all the sincerity you have put into this relationship.

You deserve love. No matter what.

3. Here's how you'll deal with it next.

Summarize the past experience, review it in time, see yourself and the way you get along with the other person, and take the initiative to take responsibility for yourself. That means being able to make changes to the result. This is maturity and growth.

No matter what the outcome is, you were sincere when you had it. You experienced a passionate love, and you have added a valuable asset to your life experience.

"No matter the past, no questions about the future." You must live in the present to respect your happiness and take responsibility for your life.

The book "Become a better you after a breakup" demands the following of you: Stop for a moment, take some time, and let go of all the feelings from the past. Because of these feelings, you are constantly investing in the relationship that has passed.

Jump in place, feel the strength within, throw off the burden you've been carrying, and find the feeling of being relaxed and at ease.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. The world and I love you.

If you want to continue the conversation, click on my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service," and I will grow together with you one-on-one.

Hello! I'm listening.

It seems like you always give in and take the blame in every argument you have with your boyfriend. This time, not only did he not try to stop you, but he also refused to communicate, cut off all contact with you, and moved out, leaving all the gifts you gave him behind.

It's so sad to see how his lack of communication and cold violence made you feel aggrieved. And his lack of remorse and ruthlessness made you feel cold. It's so understandable that his lack of reminiscence, compared with your longing to marry him, made you seem deeply attached to him. And his ruthlessness and indifference made you unable to accept it, and even begin to doubt it.

From what you've told me, it seems like you have a pattern of behavior that goes something like this: you argue, get angry, say no to your boyfriend, and then he really obeys and breaks up with you. You then try to hold on to him and beg for peace, but what you want in your heart isn't always consistent with what you say.

It seems like you have a pretty clear idea of how you want him to respond to you, and when he doesn't match up to that, it can be tough. I totally get it! For example, after you said you were breaking up, your boyfriend really should have responded to you, tried to keep you, not moved out of your home, and not returned all the gifts you gave him.

Then, here's a question for you:

1. He has so many behaviors that don't match your expectations, and you're not happy with his response. I'm sure he'd love to know what he can do to make you happy!

2. Have you had a chance to chat with him about this?

3. I'm curious, what did he think when he heard you say that? Have you had a chance to ask him?

Hello! I'm Qi Ao Bu Xun, your Heart Exploration coach.

I understand how you feel. You dated him with the intention of getting married. He was so cold when he broke up with you.

Why is your boyfriend so cruel to you?

You don't understand why he's being so decisive and ruthless. He broke up with you and moved out without trying to stop you. Does he really want to end everything? And why is he leaving?

Have you been arguing for a long time? You argue over small things and then don't talk. You're in a cold war. You only make up when you take the initiative. Why didn't he turn back this time?

Did he really meet all your expectations before leaving?

In a relationship, it's bad to be cold and silent. It's better to argue. Is this his personality? Or is it because of something else?

Two people in love should talk a lot. Even if they are shy, they will be excited about their partner. Is it true that you aren't a good match and he's moved out? Talk to him to find out what's going on. It's better to talk than to dwell on it. You've been in love, so let's part on good terms.

Is a lover who says goodbye easily cruel and indifferent?

Stay calm. He's being cruel, but the breakup is real. Face it bravely.

When facing a breakup, try to remain calm and rational. Give yourself positive mental suggestions. A breakup is a mature choice. Even if the other person seems heartless, what if they really don't love you? Treat the situation calmly and avoid emotional decisions.

Adjust your mood. Breaking up is painful, and your relationship should be strong. It takes courage to choose to live together. You are in the "breakup withdrawal period," which is painful. Give yourself time and space to adjust and heal. Don't dwell on the past. Since the other person is heartless, why bother? You have to try to start over. Meet up with friends and family, participate in social activities, and do relaxing exercises. Find ways to rediscover the joy in life. Try not to stay alone.

If he doesn't want to cherish you or your relationship, why should you try to hold on? It's better to part ways! After a breakup, temporarily cutting off contact with him may be necessary. This will give you both some space and time to grow independently. If you live together and have some things in common, you can negotiate an allocation and clean up. If you need to handle some common affairs, you can entrust a friend or family member to communicate on your behalf. It is most important to completely cut ties from a spatial perspective.

Get help. Breakups are hard and take time to get over. Don't face it alone. Talk to friends and family. A counselor can help you work through your feelings.

No matter how you and your ex-partner handle the breakup, you must maintain respect and courtesy. He may be cold and ruthless, but there is nothing you can do if your feelings for each other have run dry. Breaking up is painful, but you have to accept it and move on.

Loving someone is hard work, but being loved is bliss. All disappointments in love will eventually be rewarded. His leaving is a loss for him. Perhaps the person you love but who doesn't love you may not be right for you. You deserve better.

All missed opportunities and mistakes are meant to wait for the right person. San Mao said in a book, "I love you, it has nothing to do with you." If you don't love me, that's my business. I can show my love.

I hope this helps. If you want to talk more, you can contact me via my personal homepage. The world and I love you.

Hello, dear questioner!

I can see from your question that you're feeling pretty confused and unsure of what to do right now. It seems like your ex-boyfriend's behaviour towards the end of the relationship was a bit cruel and indifferent, which is totally understandable. I'm here to support you through this.

There could be a number of reasons why the man is acting so cold and ruthless.

It's possible that he has avoidant personality traits. When he's faced with conflicts and contradictions, he might choose to avoid them rather than face and resolve them positively. He might respond by being cold and violent, or by refusing to communicate. The ultimate breakup and decisive departure are also extreme manifestations of this avoidance behavior.

It's possible that in the past, he's been through a lot of ups and downs in the midst of arguments, and has been unable to express his feelings effectively. When the opportunity to break up arises, he chooses to quickly cut off contact to protect his emotions and avoid being hurt again.

It's possible that he's not quite there yet in terms of emotional processing. It can be tough to maintain a rational and positive communication style in the face of conflict, especially when it comes to handling a breakup. It's something we all have to learn as we grow and evolve.

My advice to you is this:

My dear friend, I'm here to offer you some advice.

[1] It's okay to feel sad, but you have to accept that he's gone and that he's not coming back. Try not to dwell on the past. If you're ready to move on, you can always try to get in touch with him again to see how he's doing. If he's still not interested, accept it and move forward with your life.

[2] It's time to start caring for yourself! Pay more attention to yourself, take care of your body and mind. Eat well and get plenty of sleep, do some exercise or take part in activities you enjoy, put energy into yourself, let go of the past, and love yourself well.

[3] It's so important to take a moment to reflect on how you've grown, what you've learned from this experience, and how you can apply that to future relationships.

[4] You can seek support, share your feelings with friends and family, gain their support and comfort, and consider seeking the help of a professional counselor to help you get out of this difficult situation.

It's important to remember that the end of a relationship doesn't mean that you're any less valuable. It's just one experience in life. There will be other opportunities in the future to meet someone who will cherish you more. Start loving yourself now, and believe that you deserve someone better and more outstanding.

Hello!

Pat on the shoulder.

I want to understand the problem owner, but we've already separated. Is the other person "cold" or "heartless"? Does it matter?

He wants to understand her actions to protect the relationship. But he's leaving, so what's her decision?

A few years ago, people were talking about whether girls in love should be more proactive. For years, girls had been passive in love, which had made it hard for them to be happy. They had tried flattery and catering, but it didn't work.

Is the questioner's "passive" grasping an active relinquishing of rights in the relationship?

The answer is that the questioner does not love themselves. This makes it difficult to fight for one's rights. In this relationship, the boyfriend has always fought for his rights. He has managed the relationship in his own way. When he decided to leave, any attempts to persuade him to stay would only prove that he was right.

If you can see this, you need to re-examine the relationship and see what's causing the imbalance. Without more information, it's hard to know what to do about previous arguments over trivial matters. However, your boyfriend's refusal to communicate is clearly hurting the relationship. Everyone handles emotions differently, and his behavior isn't necessarily indifferent. From his perspective, it may be a way to better resolve conflicts.

Women usually feel emotions first when cutting off communication, so they can't communicate rationally. Men usually use the "time out" method when they encounter problems. They need time alone to think. Here, the boyfriend repeatedly seeks communication and avoids it. This shows he has a self-unsolvable conflict and negates the relationship.

A guy thinks a girl yelling at him is the end of the relationship. The girl doesn't know this, so when it happens, the guy stops communicating. Is the problem with the girl?

The boyfriend has his own idea of the relationship and is blocked from expressing his emotions. This is usually related to early experiences. The boyfriend's rejection is not the girl's fault. It's not a rejection of her self-worth.

We can't control others, so we need to accept our feelings, understand conflict, accept ourselves, and learn to love and care for ourselves. This will help us avoid harm and grow in the relationship.

If you're in a relationship, you'll have good times and bad times. It's normal to feel hurt or confused when things aren't going well. But if you try to ignore these feelings, they'll only get worse. It's important to accept your emotions and try to understand yourself better. In any relationship, there will be things you don't like about your partner. This is normal. It's also normal to have different expectations from your partner. But if you try to ignore these things, you'll never improve the relationship.

I hope these answers help you.

Best wishes!

Hello, I hope this message finds you well!

Everyone's got their own way of dealing with love, and it's often shaped by their personality, past experiences, values, and current mindset. From what you've shared, I can sense the sadness and confusion you're feeling during this breakup.

Wishing you all the best!

I'll share what I know and what I've experienced, and we'll look at what the possible causes are and what to do about it.

First of all, words like "heartless" and "cold" are often subjective and hard to quantify. In your case, you felt his reaction to the breakup was too cold and he didn't show the lingering and pleading you expected, which made you feel ignored and hurt.

However, from his perspective, he may also have his own thoughts and feelings.

From a psychological standpoint, his decision to engage in a cold war and cold violence may be due to a lack of effective communication skills or a fear of further conflict. This avoidance behavior may not be indicative of indifference or callousness, but rather a coping mechanism.

However, this behavior often makes the other person feel ignored and disrespected.

As for why he didn't try to stop the breakup, it might have something to do with his views and expectations of your relationship. Maybe he was tired of the relationship or disappointed in it, or he thought there were some problems between you that couldn't be fixed.

In this case, he may have felt that breaking up was the best option, even if it meant causing you heartache and disappointment.

Also, just because he moved out and left the gifts you gave him behind doesn't necessarily mean he's not attached to you. We all deal with things differently, and some people may prefer to express their decisions and attitudes through actions rather than words.

Maybe he thinks leaving the gifts behind is a way to show respect for you, or he hasn't figured out what to do with them yet.

Generally, his behavior may not be due to indifference or callousness towards you, but rather influenced by his own personality, experiences, and current psychological state. However, this doesn't mean you should accept his behavior or tolerate his indifference.

It's important to communicate and understand each other in a relationship. If you're confused or hurt by his behavior, try to communicate with him honestly to understand his thoughts and feelings.

It's also important to pay attention to your own needs and feelings and make the best decision for yourself.

From what you've told me, it seems like you're feeling resentful and hopeless after having to go through repeated arguments and reconciliations with him. This time around, you've come to seek help with awareness, and I encourage you to focus on self-care and self-love. If you feel like you need more support, I recommend connecting with a professional marriage and family therapist. They can provide guidance and advice tailored to your specific needs.

You'll get through this. The world and I love you!

Hello! From your story, it's clear that you're the one who's always taking the initiative to keep the relationship going. The other person seems to be in a more passive role, avoiding and dealing with conflicts in a detached way, but then accepting when you go to make up.

While it's true that you can't put a price on the emotional investment in an intimate relationship, there are some basic expectations that you can meet to show respect for the relationship and be responsive to your partner in interactions. When these expectations aren't met, it's only natural to feel aggrieved.

You mentioned that you see him as a marriage partner and long-term companion, which shows that you have a lot of plans and expectations for the future in the relationship. You've invested a very important part of your life in your expectations of him, and it's clear that you have a lot of hopes for the future. When you broke up, you were probably also expressing some of your pent-up dissatisfaction, hoping that he would make some effort, such as trying to keep you or showing that he cares about and accepts your emotions.

But it seems that he has completely ignored your feelings, left without taking the gift you gave him, and abandoned your past without a trace. This has undoubtedly deeply hurt you, not only destroying your expectations for the relationship, but also making you feel emotionally that your past efforts have not been valued. But, you know what? You can choose to see this as a positive thing! You can choose to see this as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. You can choose to see this as a chance to focus on your own needs and desires. You can choose to see this as a chance to embark on a new journey of self-discovery and growth.

It doesn't matter what he really thinks or whether he is a cold and indifferent person. His words, deeds, and actions are very negative for the relationship. You are the one who proposed the breakup this time, but his actions may still make you feel betrayed and abandoned.

You want to find out what kind of person he really is, and perhaps also hope to give yourself an explanation or direction. If he is just a cold and heartless person, you will choose a way to deal with the breakup (for example, give up on getting back together?). But if he has other reasons, then you may want to try to get back together again, or feel a little comfort in your heart!

I don't know what you have in mind exactly, but I'm excited to find out! This is just a guess, but I would also like to invite you to focus on your feelings.

Changes in emotional experiences and life situations can be absolutely amazing! They can be sweet and enjoyable, and they can also help us to better understand ourselves. As for what to do next, perhaps you can first sort out what your core needs are in an intimate relationship (for example, is it deep understanding?).

Companionship? Absolutely! Growing together? Definitely!

Material security? Something else? Whatever it is, you can find it!

If you want to get back together, it's because your needs can be met in this relationship!

Then think about what kind of person you want to become and what kind of intimate relationship you want to have. Do you get closer to your ideals in your relationship with him, or does it always drain you and take you away from your ideals? If this was your sister in this situation, what would you say to her?

Absolutely! Love and care for yourself well. You deserve it! When you love yourself, you'll have all the energy you need to build the life you've always dreamed of.

Hello, question asker! My name is Rose, and I'm here to listen and support you in any way I can.

From what you've said, I can sense your frustration and reluctance in the present moment. From your perspective, the other person's actions may seem harsh.

From the other person's perspective, however, it's not quite the same. He has simply chosen to leave a situation that did not align with his preferences.

Dear, I understand that it's difficult to accept the person you once were in this relationship. It's natural to feel hurt and angry when you've been treated so coldly and violently. It's important to remember that the other person was also hurting and that it wasn't your fault.

1. I believe you gave this your all.

No matter what the outcome of this relationship is, I believe you must have once truly given your heart to someone. And you were talking about getting married and living together.

But no matter what your goal is, the outcome is full of possibilities. While we all want happiness, there are also results that are not as good as we hoped for.

The result of today's situation is not what we had hoped for. It is a reality that we must accept in order to move forward.

2. While love is a simple concept, it can become quite complex when it enters our lives.

Love is a wonderful thing. We enter it with our own fantasies and visions of a beautiful life.

However, when two people come to recognize the truth, they may find themselves facing a number of challenges, including differences in living habits, attitudes, and perspectives on various matters. It's as if they're engaged in disagreements over seemingly minor issues, perhaps because they haven't yet developed a communication style that aligns with each other's needs.

Love is just the beginning. As any relationship progresses, it's natural for challenges to arise. This is when it's essential for both partners to be open to facing these issues together and finding solutions.

It is also important to recognise that both you and the other person will bring your own psychological issues into the relationship. Many unfinished issues within yourself, once encountered in a relationship with another person, can become intensified and more complicated, making it feel as though they cannot be resolved. Living like this for a long time can be very painful, and it is understandable that you might choose to stay away.

If you encounter a problem, he may respond in a way that is cold and violent. This is something he needs to work through on his own. Similarly, you may need to learn how to handle your emotions and deal with your problems and the problems in your relationship with him in an appropriate manner.

3. If you were to ask me whether I believe the other person is heartless,

I understand that if I were to say that the other person is really heartless, it might seem like I'm doing you a favor. However, I also know that this might not make you happy, and it might even make you sink deeper and deeper into the swamp of blaming the other person.

Dear, It's important to remember that losing a relationship is not about who is right or wrong. It's a matter of two people. When there is only one side, it can lead to the relationship ending. Now that it's over, it might be helpful to learn to accept the result and let go of the past.

It is likely that what suits you will always be by your side, and what doesn't will eventually drift away. It is possible that someone who truly loves you will love and stay with you no matter what you are like.

4. While love is a beautiful thing, it is perhaps even more beautiful to love yourself.

It's natural to feel abandoned and unloved when the other person initiates a separation. However, it's important to consider whether continuing the relationship will ultimately lead to greater distress.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider whether continuing would result in a more painful life. It might be helpful to be grateful that the other person left on their own accord, allowing you the opportunity to wake up and meet the love that is truly right for you.

Dear one, everyone is worthy of love and deserves the best. And you are even more so. Perhaps it would be beneficial to let go of the past and start anew. You may even encounter a sweet relationship that will surprise you. Anything is possible.

I wish you well, and I hope that the world and I can show you a little love.

Hello, question asker.

You've just been dumped, and you're feeling pretty down. When your boyfriend actually moved out, you felt a chill.

You've been looking at this as a long-term partnership and future marriage, and you have strong feelings for him. Even though you broke up, you still have strong feelings for him, but he didn't even look back at you.

It really makes us girls feel cold. I'm sending you a hug from afar, hoping you can feel some warmth.

When you and your boyfriend have a disagreement, he never communicates with you after each argument. It's only when you take the initiative to communicate with him that you can resolve the issue.

It seems like he's always been evasive in the relationship. Maybe he thinks his silence will stop you from arguing and prevent further conflict.

You also think his indifference is cold, emotionless, and cold-hearted. This makes you think he's very ruthless.

He left because you broke up with him and didn't look back. He fled far away and never came back, without a trace of nostalgia. Such decisiveness and rationality make you feel too cruel and unbearable.

Men and women are different, and he's very different from you.

Even if you say goodbye or decide to break up, you'll still be attached to him. You'll also think about going back and re-evaluating, and you'll hesitate a few times, thinking about the good things about him, missing his scent, and feeling the warmth of his memories.

In short, you're reluctant to let go of him and the relationship. So his sudden departure makes you feel that he's being cold and ruthless.

Maybe from a guy's perspective, especially a straight guy, they really mean what they say. They say they're splitting up and there's no going back, no hesitation, no tenderness.

Even if it's tough, it has to be done right. In his opinion, if you hesitate, it's like dragging your feet and acting like a scoundrel.

So our tenderness, our deep affection, and our indecision are all seen as capricious and demonic by them.

From a woman's perspective, a fight or a breakup

All we need is for our boyfriend to persuade us nicely, and we'll change our minds. All we want is for him to show he cares about us.

From a man's perspective, a woman who brings up the idea of breaking up is essentially breaking up.

Since the woman no longer wants her boyfriend, the man needs to let her go. Since the woman is ending things, he needs to leave without making a fuss. He can't be seen as a bad guy, and he can't make her think he's a scoundrel.

This time, he'll probably just run away and not come back. He doesn't want to face you, argue with you, break up with you, or drive you away. Now that he's far away, he's also ensuring his dignity.

It's important to remember that, no matter what the relationship is, we should focus on our own needs. We may need to take a step back, connect with ourselves, and think about what we truly want.

Are you thinking about breaking up or staying together? Do you still love him and need him, or do you want to avoid the pain of a broken heart?

It's up to you to decide what to do next. The key is to understand your own feelings and whether you and your partner are right for each other. Is this something you want to continue?

If you decide to stick together, what changes and efforts do you need to make to make the relationship stronger in the future?

I love you, and I think you should love yourself too.

Good day. I extend my utmost support and encouragement in this challenging time.

The issue is compounded by feelings of anger, confusion, and helplessness. Living together before marriage indicates that the original intention was to pursue marriage.

However, during the course of your relationship, you often engaged in heated discussions, which often resulted in the other person becoming cold and violent, and refusing to communicate. It was only when you initiated communication that things would improve. During the most recent discussion, you expressed your desire to terminate the relationship, and the other person agreed, moved out immediately, and stated that the dissolution of the relationship was already a done deal.

It appears that you are awaiting the other party's request for you to remain in the relationship. You have consistently viewed the other party as a prospective marriage partner. However, this instance has prompted you to perceive the other party as excessively ruthless and indifferent.

Your question is whether he is a very cruel and indifferent person. To be frank, this is a challenging question to answer.

From your perspective, the other person's actions appear to be extremely ruthless, and they seem to exhibit similar traits. From their viewpoint, it's possible that they ended a tumultuous relationship, and a clean break may be beneficial for both parties.

The specific characteristics of the other person are irrelevant. What matters is how you respond to the situation now that the other person has made the decision to end the relationship and is unwilling to reconsider, and how you adjust your own mindset. In other words, how do you proceed with your life after a relationship that was headed towards marriage has ended?

I am unaware of your age, the duration of your relationship, or the personalities of the two of you. However, it appears that the other person is not interested in continuing the relationship. The reason for its dissolution is inconsequential; the outcome is definitive. Acquiring further information will not assist. If you believe that the other person is callous and indifferent, then treat them as such.

It is not advisable to expend further time and resources attempting to rekindle the relationship. Instead, it would be more beneficial to focus on future prospects.

It is of greater consequence to focus on the present and future. With regard to the past, which is unalterable, it is sufficient to accept the outcome.

While it is beneficial to investigate the reasons, it is important not to become overly focused on them. The objective of this investigation is to prevent similar mistakes from occurring in the future.

In your case, the dissolution of the relationship has resulted in adverse effects. You may wish to consider consulting with a counselor to address these issues. From the limited information provided, it appears that there may be a lack of clarity regarding expectations in an intimate relationship, communication in an intimate relationship, and the desired nature of the relationship. It would be beneficial to seek guidance from a counselor.

I am a counselor who experiences periods of depression and periods of optimism.

Dear Questioner, Greetings. I am writing in the hope that I can offer you some assistance.

It is my sincere hope that you will derive some solace from this gesture of virtual comfort.

From your description, it appears that there may be an issue with your communication style. You have indicated that he tends to react in a hostile manner rather than actively addressing issues or communicating effectively.

This mode of communication is clearly dysfunctional in that it does not afford either party the opportunity to express and comprehend the other's perspective. However, you frequently assume the role of the reconciler, which suggests that you may be more accommodating and willing to concede in the relationship.

Nevertheless, an extended period of unilateral giving without a response may result in feelings of fatigue and disappointment. The fact that this time you proposed the dissolution of the relationship and he did not attempt to dissuade you may have intensified your feelings of heartbreak and unappreciation.

He opted to accept the dissolution of the relationship directly and subsequently vacated the premises, which served to exacerbate your sentiments of disillusionment, resentment, and a sense of being undervalued.

In light of the dissolution of the relationship, it is imperative to prioritize the process of letting go of the past and redirecting one's attention toward personal growth and well-being.

It is important to accept the reality of the situation and recognize that the breakup has become a fact. Attempting to rationalize or speculate about the reasons for the breakup or whether the former partner is genuinely a cold individual is unproductive and will only exacerbate distress and impede the ability to move on.

It is important to allow oneself to experience the full range of emotions that accompany a breakup, including sadness, anger, and loss. These feelings are normal and should not be suppressed. Instead, it is essential to identify safe and effective ways to express and release these emotions.

In light of this experience, it would be beneficial to consider the following questions in order to facilitate the development of more fulfilling and resilient intimate relationships in the future.

The significance of communication: It is essential to evaluate the role of communication in your relationship. Do you identify any instances of miscommunication or misunderstanding?

What strategies can be employed to enhance communication in a manner that facilitates the full and effective expression of feelings and needs by both partners?

Personal Growth and Boundaries: In relationships, it is important to consider whether one is overly reliant on one's partner or neglecting one's own personal growth. The establishment of a healthy intimate relationship necessitates the presence of clear personal boundaries and a willingness to support each other's growth.

It would be beneficial to consider ways of achieving a more harmonious balance between personal growth and relationship development.

The question of emotional needs and fulfillment is an important one in any relationship. It is essential to consider whether one's own emotional needs are being met and whether one is aware of these needs and able to express them in the relationship.

Additionally, it is crucial to consider the emotional needs of the other individual and strive to fulfill them. By doing so, a supportive and fulfilling environment can be established through collaborative efforts.

Conflict Resolution: How do you address and resolve conflicts when they arise? It is important to note that approaches such as cold wars and cold violence are not conducive to the resolution of conflicts in a healthy manner.

It would be beneficial to consider how to manage conflicts in a more constructive manner, with a view to maintaining harmony and stability within the relationship. It is recommended that the following texts be consulted: The Five Languages of Love and The Five Abilities of Love.

The aforementioned considerations facilitate a more mature and rational approach to future intimate relationships.

May you enjoy good health.

It would be great if someone could tell you that he is a very ruthless and indifferent person. It would be even better if we could all scold him together, saying, "How can you be so ruthless and indifferent?"

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to help. I think you'll feel better if you...

But will you really feel better? I'm here to help you figure that out.

It's okay, it doesn't matter whether he is a very ruthless and indifferent person. What matters is what you think, what you feel, what kind of love you want, and what kind of person you want to marry.

"I treat him as my long-term partner and future marriage partner." Do you think this way because you love him?

It's so hard to be with someone who is always arguing, not communicating, coldly violent, and not speaking. It can feel really cold when you break up with them.

So, if you end up marrying him and you're still constantly arguing, and he still doesn't communicate with you and speaks to you in a cold, violent way after every argument, how long are you willing to stay with him?

Take your time to think about your answer.

Even if we admit that he is a very ruthless and indifferent person, he still can't achieve your happiness.

If you're ready to accept this, we can move on to the next step. Let's take a look at what you're likely to argue about and why you feel cold.

I'd love to hear about the types of minor things you argue about! You can write them down in a notebook, and also write down your respective viewpoints.

It's so interesting how our views on the little things can reflect our values!

For example, a girl buys a bag and happily shares it with her boyfriend, who says that girls spend money recklessly.

If I like a girl's point of view and I can afford it, I'll buy it. I just think money is meant to be spent!

Your boyfriend has a different view on money. He believes that money should be spent wisely, on useful things.

In the above example, the view on money will probably lead to other conflicts in the future.

You can definitely work through this together! Take some time to think about what your different views and values are, and then you'll be able to figure out what's causing the conflict.

As a general rule, people who share the same values tend to get along for a long time.

When you argue, you tell him that you probably aren't a good match. It's okay, we all get angry sometimes without thinking.

You were feeling a little upset and he didn't try to stop you.

He moved out of the place you live in, and he didn't take any of the lovely gifts you gave him.

You suddenly feel a chill. It's not just that he didn't try to stop the fight; he didn't even seem to care.

You try to reconcile after an argument and reach out to him after moving away, but he rejects you.

It's so sad when you feel cold and your partner doesn't seem to miss you at all.

Have you ever felt like you're facing a cold wall? It might be because of the different attachment styles you have.

It's so true that the way we interact with our mothers as children affects how we respond in intimate relationships as adults.

It's possible that your boyfriend has an avoidant attachment style.

People with this type of attachment often suffer from "dependence" and may appear to be extremely independent, afraid of getting close to others, and choose to withdraw or reject the other person when they are in pain. It can be really tough when this happens! The partner may feel unheard or unobserved, and feel dispensable and ready to be abandoned at any time.

And you might be an anxious attachment.

People with this type of attachment usually develop strong feelings quickly, find it hard to be independent, and may show strong attachment tendencies (such as the need for frequent contact). They may never feel close enough, break boundaries, and often scare people away with their desire for support and reassurance. It can be tough to navigate these waters!

When you see your differences, it's so freeing! You can let go of your emotions and make a new decision.

I know it can be tough, but what can you do to make yourself happy when you can't change him?

I really do hope your love life is absolutely wonderful!

Hello, I've read your description. It seems like you and your boyfriend often argue over trivial matters. After this argument, you said, "Maybe we're not a good match," and he agreed, moving out quickly without a trace of nostalgia.

You originally saw him as a long-term partner and future spouse, but after what he did, you feel pretty cold and think he's a pretty ruthless and indifferent person. Breaking up with a lover is tough, especially when you have expectations of entering into marriage. I understand your state of mind very well!

Let's try to stay calm and think it through together.

1. Two people who are initially unfamiliar, whose paths cross at a certain point in time, see each other's good points during their initial contact, become attracted to each other, get to know each other, fall in love, and finally get married. Is this what marriage is all about? The moment the two people confirm their romantic relationship, the red thread between them appears, binding the two together.

When a couple first starts getting along, some behaviors will be like tying red threads together to make them thicker and stronger, while others will be like cutting the threads, making them thinner each time. Eventually, the threads will become thick enough to tie the knot, but if they are cut, the couple will part ways.

It's not impossible to re-tie a severed red thread, but it takes a lot of effort. Even if you do tie it back together, if you don't do it right, there'll always be a knot left, and you'll have to get rid of it.

2. We all have our own upbringing and background, which affects our characteristics, style, and habits. There are things that attract us to each other, and there are also things that repel us. This is a fact. When there's a certain distance and a certain frequency of contact, and when you're in love, you'll see more of the other person's good points and enjoy the pleasure of emotional attachment. When the passion subsides and you're close to each other, the real person will appear in front of the other person. There will always be areas of mutual repulsion, disagreements, and conflicts. However, when these are discovered, they won't affect the red line. What's important is how we view and behave, which will determine whether the red line becomes thicker or thinner.

3. Respect and acceptance are two things that go hand in hand. The most basic form of respect is recognizing that the other person is a living, breathing individual with their own unique background and characteristics. We all want a friendly and comfortable environment where things happen according to our own wishes and expectations. However, when two people have different perspectives, like A and B, and they disagree, if they both stick to their own views, it can strain the relationship. Every time there's a disagreement, it's like cutting a few red threads. Even if the two people make up later and don't reflect on, discuss, or resolve their differences, the points of contention that led to the conflict will still be there. They'll just be hidden under the surface. This kind of reconciliation doesn't really mend the relationship; it just makes the strained threads a little looser.

4. We all have different opinions and preferences, and it's only natural to want to feel good about yourself. So, it's important to find a way to bridge the gap. Communication is often the best solution because it allows us to understand each other's thoughts, concerns, and needs. Whether or not you reflect on this afterwards, whether you think from the other person's perspective, and whether you find ways to take care of each other's feelings and experiences will determine whether the action you take will tie or cut the red thread.

It's a bit of a paradox, isn't it? We're asking the other person to do it first, to compromise first, and to consider us first. No matter what the other person thinks, if you do it first, you'll be taking the first step to tie the red thread. You'll gradually be guiding and creating a good atmosphere and habit.

The above is a general rule of thumb. The questioner can review the course of your relationship. After this argument, the boyfriend moved out. Perhaps the most direct trigger was when you said, "We're not suitable for each other," but this was just the final blow that severed the relationship. In fact, for a long time before that, the relationship had been getting thinner and thinner as it was repeatedly damaged.

I think it's important to remember that initiating a breakup can be very damaging. It's not something you should do lightly, especially if you don't really mean it. It's also not a good idea to do it in order to express strength or initiative, or to threaten and make the other person pay attention.

Ultimately, it's worth taking a step back and reflecting on how you got along with each other in the past. It's important to be able to recognize not just the other person's shortcomings, but also your own shortcomings. This will definitely help you in your future romantic and marital relationships.

I hope this is helpful! I'd also love to get your feedback when it's convenient so I can keep learning from experience, improve my abilities, and help more people.

Best regards!

Greetings.

After reviewing your account, I can comprehend the emotional state you are experiencing.

In your initial description, you indicated that your boyfriend and you frequently engage in arguments over inconsequential matters. Following these arguments, he tends to refrain from communication, remaining silent, and even accusing you of nagging. This behavior suggests that the adage "it takes two to tango" is indeed applicable in this context. However, it is essential to define what you consider trivial.

One might inquire as to whether the individual in question would prefer salt or water, electricity, or gas.

Given this state of affairs, what remains to be argued about? What topics are worthy of debate? If this matter were not present, would it still be considered trivial, or could it be equated with a significant issue in one's partner's life?

Furthermore, the lack of communication exhibited by one partner can have a detrimental impact on the relationship between couples. This lack of communication can, in fact, be a significant contributing factor in the dissolution of relationships. When a partner describes the other as "obsessive," it is indicative of a deepening sense of disgust towards that individual.

Secondly, in your account, you stated that you informed him that you believed you were incompatible. He did not attempt to dissuade you, but rather concurred with your assessment and the two of you terminated the relationship. The following day, you attempted to communicate with him on numerous occasions, but he did not respond to your calls or messages.

"I believe he was exhibiting a lack of emotional warmth. He departed without hesitation, a pattern that emerged during previous arguments. He would often adopt a detached demeanor and refuse to communicate. On numerous occasions, I initiated contact before we reconciled. He vacated the premises immediately, on the third day. Upon my return, I discovered that he had not retained any of the gifts I had provided. I experienced a profound sense of heartbreak." His actions indicated a definitive departure. While this behavior may not be inherently cold-hearted, it was likely influenced by the circumstances, a phenomenon known as psychological fatigue or Murphy's Law.

This is an illustration of the effects of frequent conflict. An apt metaphor for this phenomenon is that of a cup. A glass of water represents the capacity for love, while each argument represents a minor disruption. When a cup is covered in such cracks, the result is a weakened and vulnerable vessel.

Consequently, if one wishes to avoid emotional distress, it is advisable to disengage from the situation, at least to prevent further harm.

In your subsequent account, you stated that you contacted him again and received a dismissive response indicating that the decision to move out was final. You perceived this response as indifferent and lacking in sentiment, particularly given his previous treatment of you as a long-term partner and future spouse.

It would be beneficial to inquire as to whether he exhibits a high degree of ruthlessness and displays a lack of warmth and empathy.

From the aforementioned description, it can be inferred that the other individual is, in fact, exhibiting behaviors that could be perceived as cruel. When viewed in the context of the entirety of the relationship thus far, it may not be accurate to conclude that the other person is cruel, but rather that they have already ceased to invest in the relationship. As the adage suggests, there is no greater sorrow than a heart that has given up on life.

In light of the numerous analogous cases, it is plausible that the other party's decision may prove optimal for both parties involved.

It is recommended that:

1. Despite the lack of encouragement for cohabitation prior to marriage, it does facilitate enhanced mutual understanding between partners.

2. The description provided is insufficiently detailed. In order to resolve the issue at its root, it is necessary to gain a comprehensive understanding of the emotional process, identify the underlying issue, and then implement a solution. The most effective approach is to seek the guidance of a qualified counselor in a one-on-one setting.

3. Emotions must be managed, and they are also directly related to personal growth experiences and personality. Adjusting oneself is the responsibility for future emotions.

The aforementioned content is intended for reference only.

Dear Questioner, After reviewing your experience, I empathize with your situation.

It is important to recognise that relationships are not always straightforward. They often involve navigating unknowns and challenges. The sudden change in behaviour you described, including the cold violence after the argument and his subsequent agreement to break up and move out, can be difficult to accept. It can feel as if the warmth has vanished overnight.

However, it is important to note that this does not indicate that he is a cold-hearted individual.

Individuals have varying approaches to emotional expression. He may be less adept at articulating his feelings verbally, or he may perceive communication during an argument as detrimental. His avoidance could indicate that he is also seeking answers, albeit through a different process than you.

He elected to address the dissolution of the relationship directly, likely after a period of deliberation, and determined that this was the optimal course of action for all parties involved.

It is normal to feel confused and vulnerable in this situation. However, it is important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and to have a healthy, equal relationship. To support you through this challenging period, I would like to provide some specific and actionable suggestions that you can refer to as needed. I hope they will offer inspiration and help you find a method that suits you.

Self-healing: Find a quiet moment, prepare a cup of hot tea, and engage in a quiet conversation with yourself. Record your feelings, whether they are anger, sadness, or disappointment, and allow them to flow onto the page.

This process will assist you in releasing emotions and gradually finding inner peace.

2. Emotion Management: It is advisable to learn some emotion management techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. When experiencing an emotional state, it is recommended to utilize these methods to calm oneself and avoid making impulsive decisions.

3. Seek support. Do not hesitate to communicate with your family and friends about how you feel. Their understanding and support will be invaluable to you.

Should you require further assistance, you may wish to consult with a psychologist.

4. Reflect and Grow: While the relationship has come to an end, it has also provided an opportunity for personal growth. It is important to take time to reflect on the experience and evaluate your role and performance in the relationship.

What improvements can be made in future relationships?

5. Set new goals: To facilitate a speedier recovery from the current situation, you may wish to consider setting new goals. These could include a promotion at work, progress in your studies, or the cultivation of a personal interest.

By focusing on achieving these goals, you will find that life remains full of hope and opportunity.

6. Stay positive: Despite the frustration and disappointment you may currently experience, it is important to believe in the power of time. It will facilitate the healing of your wounds and ultimately lead you to a relationship with someone who truly values you.

Maintain a positive outlook and have confidence in the belief that the future will be more favorable.

Dear colleague, The world of relationships is complex and ever-changing. While we cannot control the actions of others, we can choose how to face and deal with them. Each time you grow and transform, you will find it is the best reward for yourself.

Please be assured that with time, the pain will subside and more suitable individuals and circumstances will emerge. In the days to come, may you be able to embrace your vulnerability and courageously pursue your own happiness.

You are worthy of a better situation.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

First of all, thank you for your trust and willingness to tell us your problems and get answers. Regarding your question, "After living together before marriage, did he break up with me because he is a heartless person?

"After reading your introduction, I have some thoughts that I will discuss with you.

1. Introduction

1️⃣, arguing

You say, "My boyfriend and I always argue over trivial matters. After every argument, he doesn't communicate, he uses cold violence, and he doesn't say a word. He even says that I'm the one who's always nagging him."

Let's call it what it is: cold violence.

Your boyfriend often argues with you over trivial matters. His way of dealing with it is to avoid communication, refuse to speak, and use cold violence, claiming that you keep pestering him.

My thoughts on this matter are as follows:

The questioner needs to consider why he behaves this way after a fight. Is it related to his personality, the habits of his family of origin, or his views on the relationship?

2. After

Rant

You said, "This time we had another fight, and I told him that we might not be suitable for each other. He didn't try to stop me, and he just said, 'Yes, we are,' and we broke up."

After the last argument, the questioner said, "We're not a good match anymore." This was clearly an angry remark made during the argument, and she had no intention of breaking up.

However, your boyfriend responded, "Indeed." He has seriously considered your relationship.

So, seize this opportunity and move on. You really broke up.

Reconciliation

You said, "The next day, I tried to contact him many times to communicate, but he ignored me. I felt that he was being cruel, saying that if we broke up, it would be for real and he would not hold back at all."

The questioner also took the initiative to contact and communicate with her boyfriend the next day as usual. Her boyfriend ignored her calls and messages.

The questioner is convinced her boyfriend is being cruel, and that they broke up without hesitation. This proves her boyfriend is determined to leave.

It makes me feel cold.

You said, "Because of the previous arguments, he would go cold and violent and refuse to communicate. In fact, many times it was me who took the initiative to talk to him before we made up. He moved out immediately the third day. When I got home, I noticed that he hadn't taken any of the gifts I had given him. I contacted him again, and he just coldly replied that moving out was a done deal."

The questioner is undoubtedly sad. They took the initiative to speak and make up every time they had a fight.

However, this time, my boyfriend was decisive. On the third day, he moved out and took all his things with him, except for the things I had given him.

The questioner felt a chill in his heart, contacted him again, and was told that moving out had already become a reality. I knew this was coming.

3️⃣, Question

You said, "I feel cold. I don't think he's at all nostalgic. He's always treated me as his long-term partner and future marriage partner, but I didn't expect him to be nostalgic this time. Is he very ruthless?"

"He's a very cold-hearted person."

You said you wanted to get married.

The questioner believes she has been getting along with her boyfriend with marriage as the goal. However, she never expected him to treat you and handle your relationship this way. You are asking if your boyfriend is cold and ruthless.

2. Analysis

1️⃣. It is due to his personality.

People with calm personalities

He is slow and deliberate, cautious, gentle, and stable, and he seeks harmony.

He has many positive qualities, including being easy-going, adaptable, thoughtful, and tolerant.

He has three main disadvantages: he is slow and lazy, not easily repentant, and he doesn't like to express himself. He also stands aloof.

His behavior is as follows:

The questioner is mistaken. She doesn't understand her boyfriend's character. She thinks he likes to use cold violence and never takes the initiative to reconcile. In fact, it has something to do with his taciturn character.

He has his own thoughts about your relationship and usually chooses not to express them, preferring to stand aloof and watch.

2. Habits of the original family

The native family is the family in which one is born and raised. The atmosphere, traditions, and customs of this family, as well as the role models for children and relationships between family members, all influence how children will behave in their new family.

The original family is the family in which one is born and raised. The atmosphere, traditions, customs, role models, and relationships between family members all influence how children behave in their new family.

Life circumstances undoubtedly influence.

My boyfriend uses cold violence to deal with conflicts after they arise. This shows the state of his life in his original family. I believe his family is also like this, which has affected him. He doesn't know how to deal with conflicts, which leads to his use of cold violence against you. You need to take the initiative to reconcile.

This is how his original family has influenced him.

3️⃣, Relationship management

Romantic relationships

Love is an emotional exchange between two people. They develop a strong relationship because they feel attracted to each other. This is a process of caring for, loving, supporting, sharing, and being with each other.

Relationship Management

The questioner stated that her goal is to get married. So, I want to know what efforts she has made to establish a relationship with her boyfriend. I also want to know what efforts she has made to develop mutual attraction, caring for each other, loving, supporting, sharing, and companionship.

It is clear that the questioner values the relationship and the other person highly.

You've clearly made efforts to maintain your relationship with your boyfriend. But why did you still end up breaking up? I'm sure there are other key things you're not aware of that have affected the handling of the relationship, leading to his decision and ultimately your breakup.

3. What to do

1. Understand the reasons for the breakup.

Understand the reason for the breakup.

There's a reason for the breakup. We said from the start that we weren't right for each other, and there was something about the relationship that made us feel unsatisfied, which led us to think and say this. There are other reasons that can lead to a breakup, and we need to figure them out to see the real reason.

Here's the solution:

Once we know the reason for the breakup, we can find a solution. We can either continue to salvage the relationship or find the right way to get along in the next relationship.

2. Maintain the relationship.

You need to build a relationship.

A good relationship requires joint effort from both parties to establish it. It must be maintained together, which means caring for each other, loving, supporting, understanding, being tolerant, being committed, sharing, and being there for each other.

A relationship can only develop and become mutually attractive when these conditions are met.

Maintaining relationships is essential.

It is crucial for maintaining a relationship and is the key to moving from dating to marriage. Many people fail to make it to marriage because they neglect relationship maintenance.

To maintain a relationship, you must understand and accept your partner, invest in the relationship, and communicate effectively.

3️⃣. Effective communication

Effective communication is essential.

Communication is the exchange of information. It is the whole process of conveying a message to a communication partner with the expectation of a desired response. If this process is achieved, effective communication is complete.

Verbal and non-verbal messages are both part of communication. It is the non-verbal component that often carries more weight than the verbal one. Effective communication is of great importance in dealing with intimate relationships and complex social relationships.

Here are the steps to effective communication:

Effective communication involves four steps.

Step 1: Express your feelings, not your emotions.

Step 2: State your needs, not your complaints. Let it be known that you are angry.

Step 3: State your needs, don't make assumptions about what the other person wants.

Step 4: State your goals, don't dwell on your current situation.

It is normal to have conflicts, and effective communication is the most important way to resolve them. In the past, we used to argue to resolve our differences, but now we resolve our differences through effective communication, and we do so to avoid arguing and reach a consensus.

The questioner states that the breakup has already happened. However, complaining will only make us more angry and emotional. Therefore, a good solution now is to find the cause of the breakup, find a solution, establish a good relationship, pay attention to maintaining the relationship, and resolve conflicts and disagreements through effective communication. This is what we need to do now, establish a new type of interpersonal relationship, and avoid past events from recurring.

I wish the original poster a happy life!

Dear S, From your description, I can discern your attachment to your boyfriend and your disappointment. You appear to expect feedback from your boyfriend, but it seems that he consistently fails to meet your expectations. Instead, he seems to be very unemotional and does not attempt to communicate with you. It is evident that you and your boyfriend are both active and passive in this relationship. Best regards,

Those who are passive in their communication often give the impression that they are indifferent to the situation at hand, which can lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration, and anger in the other party. It is evident that the boyfriend is in a passive and resistant state in this relationship. Is it possible that he is attempting to use cold violence to force a breakup?

Firstly, it is important to note that the establishment of a close relationship between two people must be based on mutual understanding. This allows for the effective resolution of any issues that may arise during the course of the relationship. If handled well, the relationship will become stronger. However, if only one party is willing to give and keep giving without caring, the other party will not feel valued and may even feel that the relationship is a burden.

It has been documented that on numerous occasions, you provided him with the opportunity to cause you harm, yet he failed to acknowledge your benevolent intentions. A partner who is unable to offer you positive emotional value and who consistently evokes negative emotions is indicative of an unhealthy relationship.

It would be prudent to consider whether this relationship is going to last. There is a possibility that you and your partner are not well suited to each other. If this is the case, I would be supportive of a breakup.

Secondly, in our daily lives, we should not have high expectations of others outside of our immediate circle. Setting expectations too high can lead to disappointment. It is not realistic to expect someone outside of this circle to love you forever, stand by your side unconditionally, or accept you.

This is particularly the case if the other party is unscrupulous and resorts to intimidation to force the dissolution of the relationship.

Ultimately, those who love themselves first are better equipped to love others. When we learn to love ourselves, we become better individuals, and our mindset improves.

Furthermore, you will attract individuals who reflect your own frequency. Regardless of whether or not someone else expresses romantic interest in you, you will continue to radiate your own unique brilliance.

Your partner left right after an argument and cut off all contact with you and the gifts you gave him. It must have felt really hurtful and cold, especially since you'd treated him as the person you wanted to marry. It's so sad when someone treats you so ruthlessly.

It's totally understandable to feel like your partner took your angry words, "Maybe we're just not right for each other," seriously. And it's natural to feel disappointed when you hoped your partner would change their mind. So, how can we let our partner know that we want to stay together?

1. First of all, you've already done it! Approaching your partner after an argument can show them you're ready to be close to them again.

2. Then, it's time to clarify your expectations. You expect your partner to communicate with you instead of trying to convince you, to negotiate instead of taking a cold-shoulder approach, and to engage in a give-and-take, tolerant communication style. That's what you need, and that's why your partner's departure makes you feel that they are being heartless.

3. "Always fighting over trivial matters" can make it seem like there are a lot of things in your life that don't really fit together. It's totally normal to face challenges when you're trying to get along with someone. Take a moment to think about what you and your partner originally hoped to gain from being together.

What are we fighting over in those petty arguments? It might help us to find a new perspective on not arguing.

4. I'm so sorry to hear that your partner left you. It must have been really hurtful and confusing. It's natural to feel betrayed and abandoned when someone you love leaves you like that. If there's nothing you can do to keep them, it's important to take care of yourself too. Give yourself time to feel sad and angry. Then, think about what you've lost.

What have you gained? Take a moment to think about all the wonderful things you can do in the future to make yourself feel better.

It can be really tough to find someone to start a family with, and it's also not easy to keep a close relationship going for a long time. I really hope you can use your